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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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It's early. I wasn't drinking last night, but these dark mornings are making it hard to wake up
What strange things do you eat for breakfast? I can't abide fruit at breakfast time, it feels wrong, however when abroad I'll happily have bruscetta.

Alt: Ed miliband, what a useless cunt
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:34, 281 replies, latest was 14 years ago)
Ed Milliband, the Leader of a Nation?
He is going to challenge the Prime Minister about the acceptable face of Capitalism today, with the phrase "Go for it!".
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:37, Reply)
I think he's a charismatic and in no way irrelevant turd
who is just the man to lead our country into the future.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:40, Reply)
I'd take competance over charisma and relevance any day.
And everyone should, don't get why people care for the makeup and airbrushed bollocks.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:18, Reply)
Morning
What has/hasn't he done now? I haven't seen any news yet today.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:37, Reply)
he was on the Today program with a set of arguments so weak a child could have challenged him
he has nothing and he knows he has nothing
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:39, Reply)
Just another day at the office then.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:40, Reply)
cigarettes and strong tea
alt: Less of one than, say, David Cameron.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:37, Reply)
I haven't eaten breakfast since I was a school.
The thought of it makes me heave. I need to have been up for a couple of hours before anything other than coffee passes my lips.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:39, Reply)
so you never wake your boyfriend up with a blowjob?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:40, Reply)
No, Quentin normally does that for me,
before hopping in his Sirkorsky and whizzing off to the boardroom.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:41, Reply)
If I am not around when B3th shows up today, could comebody ask her if she still stands by her belief that Jasper Carrott is in any way funny?
After enduring 30 minutes of him last night for 'old times sake', I find it hard to believe that anyone could have found that funny.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:41, Reply)
People still pay money to go and watch Lee Evans
Verdict: People are fucking idiots.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:42, Reply)
We may diagree over Noel Fielding, but we're on the same page here.
I can't stand that man as a comedian. As an actor, I didn't mind him. Mouse Hunt was a fun film and Funny Bones is a great, great movie.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:44, Reply)
If I want to see Norman Wisdom I'd....
...kill myself because Norman fucking Wisdom was a not-in-the-least-bit-funny wanker to begin with, let alone his mongoloid heir Evans. Some bellend gurning and running about is not funny to me - I'm not a fucking German. I require wit.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:48, Reply)
He was very funny in this
www.youtube.com/watch?v=tF2fN4MmMAY
(PsychoChomp, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:20, Reply)
The only time Jasper Carrot would be funny
is in the sentence 'Jasper Carrot died in agony today following a long and painful illness'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:42, Reply)
You could try setting fire to him

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:43, Reply)
Why put yourself through it?
Did he "do" the insurance claims?

If it had been Roy "Chubby" Brown or Billy Connolly doing his "big sock" routine, that'd be different. (It wouldn't)
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:44, Reply)
I was intrigued to see how bad he was going to be.
'Very', was the answer. He even did a song called 'Old Farts'. Although that was actually a bit creepy, it had a verse about viagra and giving a housewife a 'stiff drink', which kinda skeeved me out actually.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:46, Reply)
That's fucking creepy.
I sat through 10 minutes of Lennt Henry last week.

There's a reason he's not on telly anymore.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:49, Reply)
I watched that.
One he'd got 'ooookay' and 'katanga my friend' out of the way (in the first two minutes) it was all over. Less 'stand up' than 'for the love of God sit down you 'uncle Tom' cunt'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:51, Reply)
Hahahahahaha!
He's a complete Deakus. (Did you see what I did there?)
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Oh LOL.
LOL and LOL again.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:53, Reply)
I did have high hopes for Griff Rhys Jones, but after the last two I'm not sure any more.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:51, Reply)
Is he the third one?
Oh Jesus Christ!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Yeah, but the difference is, he actually was funny once...

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:55, Reply)
i thought the BBC were over their racism, sad days

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:51, Reply)
I had marmite on toast this morning, that's always good
I had a real hankering for a cup of tea too, shall likely have one soon.

Alt: Yep
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:41, Reply)
Milliband has the look of beaker about him.
N to the ING fuckers.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:41, Reply)
Ms Foxtrot eats this gluten-free buckfast cereal
I've never tried it and hope I never will. I shouldn't take the piss as she's got laryngitis and lost her voice
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:42, Reply)
Mmmm, breakfast Buckie....

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:42, Reply)
Mutants, aliens and toads beware!

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:45, Reply)
That's in my head now, you fuck!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:45, Reply)
I'm picturing a whole musical called 'The Wizard of Mars' now.

(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:47, Reply)
Hahaha I knew you'd be the right age for it

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:47, Reply)
Bloody hell, there were only ever 13 episodes made, it seems...

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:49, Reply)
Never watched it myself
Too old
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:50, Reply)
what?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:51, Reply)
Bucky O'Hare
Mid-90s (AA correct me if I'm wrong) cartoon about a spacefaring rabbit and his chums. My sister was a fan.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:54, Reply)
1991, I think

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:56, Reply)
Beats me. They're talking bollocks again, Nakers.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:54, Reply)
God Monty you're so not down with the kids

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:58, Reply)
what's she going to do, tell you off?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:43, Reply)
Yes
With her MIND
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:45, Reply)
Hey Darth
Tell everybody what you are doing instead of going to the West Ham/Forest game!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:47, Reply)
No, set your faces to stunned
YOU tell everyone what I'm doing instead of going to the West Ham/Forest game!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:49, Reply)
GOING TO SEE BILLY ELLIOT WITH YOUR FAMILY!
*gives up*
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:53, Reply)
All together now:
'BEN-DERRRRRRRR'
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:54, Reply)
Ah, but, right
I had a choice of going to see a bunch of oddly-dressed overpaid ponces prat about to ultimately disappointing effect... or going to see Billy Elliot. And Billy Elliot is INDOORS.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:55, Reply)
So he's going to see a load of mincing ponces poof about in front of a cheering crowd?
No!
He's going to see Billy Elliot.

Ninja edit

Bugger! Beaten to it!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:56, Reply)
Is that because you can't aim your morning wood at your OWN face?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:45, Reply)
Fucking sit-ups are getting me nowhere

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:47, Reply)
Is she a coeliac or just a fucking Mary?

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:45, Reply)
Oh, and to answer the actual question
my breakfasts have been relatively healthy since I quit drinking and smoking. I just had two toasted wholemeal muffins.

Gone are the days of three B&H and a black coffee.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:42, Reply)
You must have shat yourself on the way the work
also black coffee half bottle of "value gin"
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:47, Reply)
I did often have to make a dash of the last part of the journey.
And I am offended by the Gin remark.

I was a vodka man.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:48, Reply)
; )

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:49, Reply)
Ideally tea, scrambled eggs, mushrooms & toast around an hour and a half after I wake up.
Unfortunately, due to this stupid system of having to work for a living, a bowl of sawdust forced down around half an hour after waking washed down with much strong tea.

Alt: He's a bit out of his depth, but I'd be willing to take anyone over those cunts Cameron and Osborne.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:45, Reply)
For a while, I had a real craving for scrambled egg and tomatoes on toast.
I'm not sure why, as I'm not hugely fond of either of those things...

Tinned tomatoes on toast, I mean, in a sauce is fine
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:47, Reply)
are you pregnant?
in the face?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:47, Reply)
Nope

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:49, Reply)
I'm saying your face is fat

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:49, Reply)
You know, I'd never have realised that, with you being the master of Sarcasm, and all.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Who is this "Sarcasm" you speak of?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Yoghurt on the train in to work, usually
however the cunt is 35 minutes late this morning when I really needed to be on time today, earning me an utterly undeserved bollocking when I rang to say I'd be late. Today is going to totally suck balls and I have eaten my chocolate bar for breakfast in a fit of futile rage accordingly.
(berk, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:47, Reply)
Alt: you mean the left-wing William Hague?
Labour's sacrificial lamb until someone half-decent comes along to try and win in 2016 or whenever
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:49, Reply)
I think Al should put himself forward
he's twice the man Ed is
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:50, Reply)
Or, indeed, James Corden

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Fuck this democracy lark.
DICTATORSHIP NOW!
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:53, Reply)
woohoo!
*burns books*
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:54, Reply)

books kindles
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:56, Reply)
And I suppose you'd like to be our dictator?
Well I for one welcome our new scotch-drinking, haggis-eating, kilt-wearing, caber-tossing, fight-starting, language-mangling, sporran-sporting, sassenach-hating, tight-fisted, Mars bar-frying, stereotype-defying overlord
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:57, Reply)
Nicely done

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:08, Reply)
Cheers
How you keeping mate?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:09, Reply)
The sportsback is once again causing issues but apart from that, quite good
The patented "stop eating your own bodyweight in cake and lager" diet seems to be working too. 4lbs down in 6 days
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:13, Reply)
Congrats mate
I started my diet very well but it appears a weekend in Blackpool has kippered my earlier efforts. Back on the treadmill tonight.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:15, Reply)
No exercise at all as yet
Was giving it two weeks of sensible eating so I've less cow to carry round
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:16, Reply)
Not a bad plan that
Unfortunately my metabolism doesn't burn it fast enough and I'm impatient
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:18, Reply)
Mine appears to run very quickly
Woop!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:21, Reply)
Good for you
*fetches cow-gun*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:23, Reply)
haha

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:24, Reply)
bollocks.
Everyone burns calories at the same rate, what with it being a basic and fundamental fucking energy balance. Man the fuck up, Foxtrot. "metabolism" and "glands" are simply limp-wristed excuses for "I can't stop myself inhaling cake"
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:49, Reply)
McHOOTS MON!
I AM GRAND MUFTI McSPORRAN THE WISE
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:10, Reply)
"Wise"?
And you were doing so well
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:12, Reply)
Meh. Fucking teuchter.


disclaimer - since I don't actually know where up here Mumpers is from, this might be an off-target piece of abuse, but fuck it.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:47, Reply)
I believe he's from 'The Weedge' m'lud.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:19, Reply)
arrrrgh. A Weedge?
KILL IT.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:24, Reply)
Only strange thing I have for breakfast is when I'm overseas.
The French don't have marmalade or proper toast, heathens.
I hate cold ham and crappy processed cheese, served on a mirror FFS.

Croisants, don't get me started.

Alt: Ed Milliband, Nanoband more like.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:52, Reply)
something about MDs for breakfast

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:53, Reply)
I could do with some today,

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:55, Reply)
You and me both, old son.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:59, Reply)
In my child-free days I was an advocate of the "wake and bake"
An early morning reefer could cure most hangovers.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:04, Reply)
I used to hit the bongs before ten am each day.
How I graduated at all is a miracle.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:07, Reply)
When I was on a school French exchange trip
For breakfast I was presented with a bowl of drinking chocolate with a bit of bread to dip into it. Unfortunately I did not know enough French to ask: What the fuck is this?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:55, Reply)
'Oi! Gaston! What's this fucking merde? Eh?'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:57, Reply)
All the french you'll ever need.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:58, Reply)
And if he doesn't understand, smash the place up
Secure in the knowledge that you tried your best
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:00, Reply)
Of course now I'm older and wiser
I know that the correct way to speak to Johnny Foreigner is LOUDLY and CLEARLY using the Queen's English. Hand gestures are also helpful.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:00, Reply)
"Excusez-moi, monsieur
qu'est-ce que c'est ca? Je pense que votre mere etait un hamster et votre papa avais une odeur de sureau"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:04, Reply)
Hee Ho Hee Ho
Le Serpent de Monty LOLs
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:05, Reply)
Cereal in the morning or a sammich if I've been drinking the night before.
Scrambled or boiled egg at the weekends.

Alt: all politicians are crap.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:54, Reply)
Hi BeeGeeBee!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:57, Reply)
Hello
Can't stop long. I have work to do. Just easing myself into it.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:00, Reply)
Alt: Hey! Nick Griffin's alright.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:57, Reply)
At least he's obviously a cunt and doesn't care who knows it.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:00, Reply)
My kind of chap.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:07, Reply)
Were you separated at birth?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:16, Reply)
Rather unsuccessfully, yes.
He got the looks, sadly.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:28, Reply)
You got the political acumen.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:29, Reply)
and three eyes

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:30, Reply)
If I was was after a half blind racist
He'd be the one-eyed get
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:11, Reply)
Dear oh dear

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:13, Reply)
*checks around*
Nope, Jeff isn't here so there was a vacancy
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:14, Reply)
A sensible breakfast for a sensible world.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 8:57, Reply)
My friend used to like cake for breakfast.
*grimaces*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:01, Reply)
Oh dear.
*shakes head*
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:03, Reply)
I can't bear anything sweet for breakfast.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:06, Reply)
Just had my third cup of tea...
... with a sandwich of dry-cured smoked bacon, grilled to perfection.

Alt: I'm not sure about Milliband, I don't trust these new-fangled Metric politicians.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:00, Reply)
Mmm, bacon.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:02, Reply)
Peanut butter on wholemeal toast and two cups of filter coffee
I have today's apple and blackcurrant smoothie lined up for around 10am

Alt:
Same as the rest of them
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:09, Reply)
I like the sound of that breakfast.
Peanut butter is, obviously, Manna from heaven.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:17, Reply)
I never liked it as a child
I am making up for it now. Nom to the MAX!
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:20, Reply)
Don't look how much fat is in it.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:25, Reply)
I don't care
It tastes nice
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:27, Reply)
Vile, vile peanut butter.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:26, Reply)
Easy, young 'un.
Ssshh. The adults are talking.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:29, Reply)
Seen and not heard

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:29, Reply)
Breakfast comes about 10AM once my stomach has woken up.
it tends to comprise what ever the sandwich man has on offer, this year I have been avoiding the sticky Danishes, but I'm low on sleep and craving a cigarette, so it may have to be today. I'f off to make a very strong coffee.

ALT: Fucking right, not like I'm even a Labour supporter but I wish the 'opposition' could at least field a credible alternative to the cunt Cameron and not just a Cleggy Clone. Bring back Michael Foot and his Duffel Coat of Power say I.
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:23, Reply)
BRING BACK EMPEROR NERO

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:27, Reply)
We need a bloody good war.
That'll separate the wheat from the chaffe.

Bring back Churchill. Oh, yes!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:28, Reply)
More mental dictators, that's what we need.
GRAND VIZIER MMPS DECREE NO. 147: ASPARAGUS TO BE EATEN ONLY AS PART OF A CALORIE CONTROLLED DIET.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:33, Reply)
Char-grilled with a poached egg and/or prosciutto

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:34, Reply)
NO!
BOILED TO DEATH.

Guards, execute the traitor.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:37, Reply)
Mmmmmm asparagus.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:35, Reply)
Correct reply.
Guards, play her some lighthouse family.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:38, Reply)
You cruel bastard Mumps.

(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:40, Reply)
I know how to keep the people in line.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:42, Reply)
"what ever the sandwich man has on offer, this year I have been avoiding the sticky Danishes"
you dirty bastard
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:27, Reply)
I was glad I didn't avoid a sticky Danish when I was 20

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:30, Reply)
Sandy Toksvig taught me everything I know

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:32, Reply)
Down at No. 73?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:33, Reply)
i don't know wwhat that is

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:46, Reply)
Old School!

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:57, Reply)
fo shizzle

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:08, Reply)
That I am Qents, that I am.
How's the new year treating you, boy?
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:41, Reply)
Sahsa's leaving, i'm beside myself
:(
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:44, Reply)
Poor QUents
/has no clue who Sasha may be
(I helped save b3ta! CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:58, Reply)
she fills the fries
whilst he flips the burgers. keep up!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:00, Reply)
my american flatmate fancies him. i don't get it.
i never eat breakfast normally, but the healthy eating detox is forcing me to. so porridge this morning. fucking rank shit.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:40, Reply)
I don't his "wife" even fancies him

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:41, Reply)
You must be doing porridge wrong.
It is full of awesome.

Guards, make her watch all of Lost.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:44, Reply)
That consitutes cruel and unusal punishment.
Carry on.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:51, Reply)

c g
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:53, Reply)
very good.

(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:54, Reply)
not when it's shitty meal replacement porridge packets it isn't
shudder
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:53, Reply)
Fuck that, make real porridge.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:55, Reply)
oh fuck
i hate clicking "i like this" by mistake. i would never click for porridge.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:57, Reply)
oi rachelswipe, your a woman
what should i get sasha for a leaving present?

it ahs to be classy and sophisticated like her, and say 'thanks for all your hard work and help, apols for the dry humping and all the best'?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:49, Reply)
A bra. Woman seem to like them.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:50, Reply)
they've all got tehm haven't they?
i like this logic
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:50, Reply)
*logic fives*

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:53, Reply)
a full private GUM screening sounds best.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:51, Reply)
she's had five kids, so I was thinking like some of that cavity insulation so she can retighten her flange?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:52, Reply)
good thinking.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:52, Reply)
i don't know
i've never bought a present for a fictitious colleague before.

tesco vouchers say you truly mean it.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:53, Reply)
she isn't fictitious, she's really nice
loveliest blues eyes i ever saw, pretty sure they can't be natural

there isn't a tesco anywhere near here, try again
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:54, Reply)
No tesco near by?
Where do you live, Inner Mongolia?
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:56, Reply)
princes street in edingborough

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:58, Reply)
Just a short helicopter ride to Peebles.
I'm sure they have one.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:02, Reply)
ah fuck, the choppers in the garge at the mo
needs new skis cos i got blancmange on the old ones
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:03, Reply)
He lives in St John's Scottish Episcopal Church
on the junction of Princes St and Lothain Road, apparently.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:05, Reply)
i am scottish jesus

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:16, Reply)
The place where they knit their own yoghurt?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:21, Reply)
well as you've basically shoved her out onto the street without a job
she will need to feed her kids. therefore tesco vouchers. every little helps.

if only you could get them and use them to buy stuff online, eh.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:58, Reply)
nah kev extended her probation and she found a better job
can you buy tesco vouchers online? i don't think they're a very thoughtful present but its a nice idea
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:00, Reply)
darling, how the blue fuck would i know?
i shop at harrods. harvey nicks at a push.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:01, Reply)
i prefer harvey nicks to harrods
there, i said it

harrods is like a fucken jumble sale, its Primark for the rich
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:02, Reply)
don't feel bad
lots of people don't get let in to harrods.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:09, Reply)
Harrods is shit, it is for tourists and numpties and has all the class of a tequila fueled pile of street vomit

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:16, Reply)
correct
however, the food hall is good. and i get my make-up from there, but online.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:18, Reply)
Selfridges food hall is where it's at.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:19, Reply)
i actually prefer whole foods to any of them
i like the fact that everything is so fresh.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:21, Reply)
Fancies Ed Miliband?
Oh dear!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:50, Reply)
not just that.
Fancies Milliband and is a septic.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:57, Reply)
she's infuriatingly hot though
you totally would
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:59, Reply)
I probably wouldn't
had a thing with a New Joisey girl years ago. The dirty talking and the noisy orgasms in that accent has done terrible, deep-seated psychological damage that no amount of therapy can possibly help with.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:08, Reply)
i think you'd have ended up with a pink sock fetish anyway, myself
anyway, that's what ball-gags are for.

also, the noisier the orgasm, the more likely it is to be fake...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:10, Reply)
Joisey girls never fucking shut up, so this rule probably doesn't apply.
Also, you are aware that most men can tell, right?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:11, Reply)
i am aware that most men think they can tell, yes

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:13, Reply)
my girlfirend goes into involuntary muscle spasms that are so strong they sometimes push me out

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:17, Reply)
+ of the front door
understandable
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:17, Reply)
I certainly doubt they're involuntary either

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:20, Reply)
i don't know why your all so mean i'm just being part of the conversation
when shes on top its the worst, she just forces it out like dead hard and quick, but if i'm on top i can keep ramming it in
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:22, Reply)
That sounds quite a lot like an admission of rape there.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:24, Reply)
nah cos she's consenting so its an involuntary relflex where her vajo just tightens when she comes

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:27, Reply)
oh, we can tell.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:18, Reply)
sweetheart
just because the video is called "REAL orgasm" doesn't mean the webcamgirl isn't faking it.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:20, Reply)
oh, that's quite a good comeback.
at least 8/10 and a smattering of golf applause. Very well played
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:21, Reply)
/smugs

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:31, Reply)
Oh I don't know
that kind of sounds like fun
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:10, Reply)
In fairness
she was dirtier than a Cornish tin-miners sock.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:11, Reply)
although, obviously we're discussing conquests
online .. so by the rules of the internet, none this is really true.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:18, Reply)
I generally don't eat breakfast as I'm usually running late.
Then it gets to about 10am and I eat a Twix, or something. Healthy living, chaps.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:53, Reply)
museli usually.
or toast. Which isn't really strange in either case.

Doesn't matter who Labour have. Until the Tories make a proper actual bollocks of something that they can't viably blame on the world economy or the previous government they will be impossible to knock out of power. And god help you if Scotland votes for independence, you'll effectively have a Tory government for the rest of time.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:55, Reply)
We won't.
This is not a legally binding guarantee
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:57, Reply)
Do what you like up there
But we're keeping the North sea oil
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:59, Reply)
Fine, we'll keep the water.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:00, Reply)
Neither country has any real say in the oil
since the oil companies are more powerful than any government.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:22, Reply)
It's in nobody's interests.
Scotland will end up going from being an equal, or near-equal, partner in a successful union to being a drain on an already struggling one.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 9:59, Reply)
In all honesty, I don't think it would make all that much of a difference.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:02, Reply)
I know we won't
well, as long as there is a decent turnout, it'll be a no. but all the yes mentalists will definitely turn out, so it's still a risk.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:09, Reply)
We're doomed DOOMED!

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:11, Reply)
Alex Salmond is a fat, smug, racist cunt.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:24, Reply)
well, yes. there most definitely is that.
Although I'd like to add "with a tendency to fuck his female staff on the side"
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:25, Reply)
Does he? Fucking hell, some women really have NO self-respect.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:27, Reply)
*ahem* allegedly.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:29, Reply)
That dreadful Sturgeon woman?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:30, Reply)
Oh, no
he's more into the younger more impressionable members of staff. So I've heard. Plus, she's got a face like a skelped arse.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:36, Reply)
Well yes, but he's a fat mess
I was trying to think of someone who might be attracted to him.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:38, Reply)
*cough* John Prescott, David Mellor...
power is an aphrodisiac in itself.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:50, Reply)
Yeah, but we're talking about Alex Salmond here FFS

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:59, Reply)
He's no less odious and repulsive as Jonny and Dave, though.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 Jan 2012, 11:01, Reply)
It was more the power aspect that was my issue....

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 10 Jan 2012, 11:17, Reply)
Yup and he's much smarter than Cameron.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:26, Reply)
So's my dog. And I've more faith in her running the economy.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:28, Reply)
I'm watching the new Cher Lloyd video.
DICTATORSHOP NOW! BAN THIS SORT OF SHITE.

Guards, burn the fucking wonky-eyed witch.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:00, Reply)
if they didn't burn shannon doherty
they're going to let this one past too.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:02, Reply)
i liked swagger jagger

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:04, Reply)
Oh Q :'(

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:05, Reply)
it was based on oh my darling valentine
and i like that blue dog who used to sing it on top cat
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:15, Reply)
Egg white and hot sauce
breakfast of champions.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:01, Reply)
so basically......
.....cum
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:02, Reply)
You're quite impatient, aren't you?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:06, Reply)
spelled like that, it's a noun!
not an imperative.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:10, Reply)
spelt?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:11, Reply)
i like it
but it will never replace wheat
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:13, Reply)
What cum have you had that
is red and spicy?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:16, Reply)
i never kiss and tell

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:17, Reply)
The only time I can face breakfast is if I'm staying in a hotel and it's included in the cost.
And even then I generally skip it in favour of a lie in, as it's generally served by 10am. Fuck that shit. The exception to this is if I'm staying in a hotel for work related reasons, in which case a lie in isn't really an option.

Alt: There is no alt, merely a statement. Personally I'm just waiting for Cameron to keep making stupid comments about the opposition looking like a bunch of spastic cunts, hopefully that'll get them booted out of office all by itself.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:04, Reply)
For about three years I never had breakfast.
And wondered why I was in a such bad mood throughout the day (didn't have lunch either).
I don't know why I'm up, I had a bottle and a half of wine, bottle of port, Baileys and a bottle of champagne over the course of yesterday. I don't get hangovers ever, instead I just wake up way earlier than I would normally. Well annoying.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:06, Reply)
What are you, an aged rich spinster?

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:08, Reply)
Student innit?

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:09, Reply)
drinking champagne?
BROKEN BRITAIN
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:10, Reply)
He's got nothing better to do until he goes back to uni for a week in March, Mumpers.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:11, Reply)
Yeah but that list of booze was for old ladies or fucking ponces.
Ah, I see.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:12, Reply)
Students will drink anything they can get there hands on, though.
Especially if it's lying around unguarded in their parent's house.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:15, Reply)

parent's gran's
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:17, Reply)
I have the alcohol tastes of an elderly women, yes.
Don't judge me. It was all mine, for the record. Left over stuff I got for Christmas init.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:19, Reply)
You write it online, you get judged.
Guards, make him down a bottle of Midori then make him eat a greggs sausage and bean melt
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:23, Reply)
Oh God they are so fucking vile.
I tried one once. Never again. The melt thing, that is.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:25, Reply)
Imagine how much worse it would be after midori.
Fuck, being a dictator is hard work.

Guards, bring me the paper and a cuppa.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:27, Reply)
You wonder how anyone could fuck up a combination of
sausage, beans and pastry. Somehow, Greggs have managed it.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:29, Reply)
and cheese

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:30, Reply)
I love how in greggs they feel the need to screech out the denomination of a note over a fiver before putting it in the till.
SADIE, 10 GOING IN!

Also makes them sound a bit mucky.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:31, Reply)
I was at Napier Uni on Saturday
the cash machine gave out fivers. FIVERS, for fuck's sake. Is it the 1980s?
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:35, Reply)
Several places round here have started that too, it's quite helpful for when you're getting the bus first thing in the morning

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:49, Reply)
Do they? I dunno, I've never handed over more than a fiver in Greggs before.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:36, Reply)
and midori is even worse.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Never had it.
Not even sure I know what it is...
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:30, Reply)
I've just googled it, it sounds vile.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:31, Reply)
I have to admit I do like champagne. And Baileys.
And wine. You can keep the port, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:23, Reply)
Port's the best one!
I can go through a bottle in about half hour.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:27, Reply)
I really don't like the taste.
I can maybe stomach a small glass, but after that it's not for me.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Do you drink more if the Vicar is round for a chat and some crumpets?

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:28, Reply)
Vicars don't like crumpet.
They've devoted themselves to God init.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:30, Reply)
If that's a joke about flange, Vicars can get married you tool.
Honestly, what do they teach students these days?

BROKEN BRITAIN!
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:33, Reply)
Guards, burn the lavender water.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:11, Reply)
Guards, remove all the comfy cushions and knitting implements.
oh, and crush all the murray mints.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:12, Reply)
the guards are busy today

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:14, Reply)
in ireland the police are called Garda
lol
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:20, Reply)
In Holland they have 'POLITE' across their hats.
I can confirm they are nothing of the sort and release dogs on people.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:22, Reply)
maybe they have different customs over there and thats how they say hello

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:23, Reply)
It's how they react to yobbish English students pushing small cars into canals.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:27, Reply)
Oi, less of the student.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:27, Reply)
Sorry Baz.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:28, Reply)
you should probably try looking less like a football hooligan over there, then.
The dutch are premier league at it wheras we are only GM conference. I assume the police respond accordingly.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:27, Reply)
They're bloody crackers over there.
I crapped my pants on more than one occasion.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:29, Reply)
Dutch hooligans are really fucking special
Germans are pretty tasty too.

The problem is that British hooligans are, fundamentally, stupid and usually xenophobic. Dutch and German hooliganism is very well organised but specifically tribal inter-club. Dutch hooligans don't follow the national team abroad(so Holland doesn't have a reputation like we do) and it doesn't usually drag in non-football fans.

I was on a train in Munich years ago when some 1860 fans stormed it to get some Bayern fans. I have never seen anything like it my life. Until the riot police re-stormed it 5 mins later with dogs, which was even more mental.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:34, Reply)
Germans storming something? Never.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:35, Reply)
haha.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 10:36, Reply)
Fucking hell!
I'm getting my breakfast made for me! Egg butties no less!
Fucking hell the partner, you might just get lucky.
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