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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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so rory has outed dr frog as an avid homosexualist
what secrets do you know about other b3tans? spill.

alt: what makes you all cross and disapproving? do you make your disgust known, tut like an old woman, or swallow all that rage down into a big cancer-causing ball?

altalt: the human body is a pretty shit design. eg fainting. what is the point? you could get eaten by a wild animal, run over by a horse and cart, or have all your stuff nicked whilst you're out cold and defenceless. what a shit design. how could you improve it?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 10:56, 296 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
alt:alt: What a coincidence I was just reading this
www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-24048567
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 10:58, Reply)
can't decide if cool or creepy
i think the best design change to the human body would be controlling when we sleep. imagine if you could set a button to fall asleep and another to wake up, and not be all wide awake and staring at the ceiling in the middle.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:01, Reply)
The getting up is like clockwork for me no matter what time I go to sleep I'm up between 5.30-6am
I haven't used an alarm clock in decades
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:02, Reply)
i usually wake up before my alarm
but i wouldn't dare risk not having it.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:04, Reply)
By the way how are you, after the fall I mean?
I think I'm channelling my inner Nakers today
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:04, Reply)
i'm 90% better thank you
i didn't realise how woolly and shit i felt yesterday until i woke up this morning feeling fine. but my knees are fuuuuuuuucked - totally swollen. not complaining at all though; if my knees hadn't hit the pavement and taken the worst of it before my face/head hit the road, it would have been much much worse!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:08, Reply)
Tell us again, Harters

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:06, Reply)
I'm saving that for the next thread, thank you very much

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:07, Reply)
I would murder my body clock if that was mine.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:32, Reply)

an alarm clock my wife's fanny
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:08, Reply)
Fat birds
To all 3 questions
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 10:59, Reply)
i'm not sure you have given this any thought

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:01, Reply)
Fearne Cotton is fit.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:05, Reply)
She really isn't. She is also spectacularly thick and her voice is awful.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:08, Reply)
She does it for me.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:09, Reply)
what a spectacularly lovely treat of an image for us all to share

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:09, Reply)
Pipe down, shouldn't you be doing some work?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:14, Reply)
yes
shouldn't you be doing a sheep up the jacksie?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:17, Reply)
Nope, I live in Bristol.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:21, Reply)
and??

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:23, Reply)
We shag a better class of animal, you might even get a fuck if you go to some of the grottier areas.

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:29, Reply)
i've been to bristol
your lies have no place here
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:30, Reply)
Help yourself, she's a mongol.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:11, Reply)
She's another one who used to regularly piss me off at Soho House.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:12, Reply)
Thanks buddy, can you hook me up?

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:14, Reply)
Yeah sure

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:16, Reply)
She's like an angry sparrow

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:32, Reply)
A sexy angry sparrow

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:34, Reply)
Altalt: We are made in God's image and are therefore perfect.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:05, Reply)
I ENT GAY U FUCKING BULLY

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:07, Reply)
how's the missus?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:09, Reply)
Ex missus. Got dumped innit.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:13, Reply)
oh man
i was trying to be mean, and now you made me feel bad. i'm a shit bully.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:14, Reply)
A slightly ginger shit bully.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:15, Reply)
i'm having it coloured next week
so THERE
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:17, Reply)

it a

oh no not again, have you learnt nothing?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:18, Reply)
subtle

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:20, Reply)
She's learnt how to create a fat ginger black baby.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:21, Reply)
so a duracell D battery?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:23, Reply)
Are you barrel shaped?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:24, Reply)
no
picture a crab apple balancing on two runner beans.

with two cantaloupe melons on top.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:27, Reply)
Sexy!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:28, Reply)
AND fruity
you love it, you little gaylord, you
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:30, Reply)
Would you say you're more fruit or vegetable?
I would guess more veg.
Spastic.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:32, Reply)
in what respect?
this is a very deep question and requires careful analysis
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:35, Reply)
In respect of whether you are more 'gay' or 'brain damaged' I s'pose.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:38, Reply)
both
definitely both
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:47, Reply)

picture a crab apple balancing on two runner beans.

with two cantaloupe melons on top.

a morbidly obese whale.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:33, Reply)
alright spaz?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:36, Reply)
it would appear not :(

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:21, Reply)
I know all sorts of things and I ent telling nobody nuffink.
Alt: everything. I make my disgust known AND bottle it up. I forget and forgive NOTHING, EVER.

Altalt: wings
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:08, Reply)
interesting
but only for those of us with brains. can you imagine if the fucktarded could fly?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:08, Reply)
Darwin would sort that out
although you'd need to employ more window cleaners and street sweepers for the mess.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:16, Reply)
Band on the run lols

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:11, Reply)
Anything I have been told in confidence remains purely with me.
Alt: Gypsies. I either tell them to fuck off, or say nothing, depending on how big & aggressive they are.

AltAlt: For personal reasons I'd quite like to get rid of epilepsy.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:11, Reply)
That last one seems fitting

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:12, Reply)
*Throws a sock at B-dog*

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:17, Reply)
*chokes*

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:19, Reply)
*Tries a new way of doing the Heimlich maneuver*

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:24, Reply)
You seem to be pushing the blockage deeper

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:27, Reply)
I prefer the Heinrich Manouevre

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:27, Reply)
I prefer the Heineken Manouevre, where you try to dislodge the blockage with lager.
     ^ This was my dad's favourite joke for ages, I'm now passing it on to Lokesy.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:29, Reply)
poor rory

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:14, Reply)
Although I act like a complete Knobcheese on here
It's amazing how much personal information about them selves and others have been included in Gazzes.

Alt: Poor & discourteous driving, but lets not open that can of worms again yeah.

alt:alt: I think the human body is a wonderful design, all it really needs is a bit more longevity
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:16, Reply)
perhaps it should be transparent
then things like cancer could be diagnosed sooooo much more quickly
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:17, Reply)
Is this about your hair again, it is isn't it?

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:18, Reply)
i don't have transparent hair
you're thinking of al
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:18, Reply)
One word for you *EYEBROWS*

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:19, Reply)
they are beautifully shaped by my eyebrow/eyelash lady
why?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:22, Reply)
+ invisable as are all Gingers

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:26, Reply)
Altalt: There's already too many cunts in the world, living longer will only make that worse.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:19, Reply)
Basically I'm saying you should kill yourself.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:20, Reply)
Nahhhh, I think I'll probably live longer just to spite you

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:28, Reply)
I no nuffink and I like it that way
alt: so many things, but mostly stupidity. Whether that be the typical Sun reader politics comments or simply not being able to do something after being shown many times.

alt alt: The human body suffers from being quadrupedal in design and bipedal by choice. so a return to being on all fours... LADIES hubba hubba
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:19, Reply)
I don't know any secrets about you lot :(
alt: Chinamen and bullies.

Altalt: I'd make it harder to get fat and easier to lose weight so I wouldn't have to look at disgusting chunky blubber cunts as much.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:19, Reply)
although your reason would be a visual bonus
the reality is, you invent a pill to do that, you are one fucking billionaire, baby
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:22, Reply)
*orders 'my first chemistry set', awaits results and ££££££££'s*

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:23, Reply)
i used to want one of those as a kid SO BADLY
but my stupid older brother stained the carpet and burned the duvet, so my parents banned them :(

mind you, i fucking hated chemistry gcse when i got older, so probably no loss.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:28, Reply)
I did have one, but suffered the same hatred at GCSE
You scratch one 'JON IS FAT' into a workbench with a compass in massive letters, and they hold it against you for a year or two, you know?
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:34, Reply)
understandable
poor jon
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:49, Reply)
He *was* really fat though.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:52, Reply)
yeah but he probably knew that you had a premature baldpatch and a squint
and couldn't get as hard as everyone else in the class even at that age when sitting the wrong way on the bus could turn a boy to cement, but he didn't put that on the bench, did he?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:54, Reply)
Actually he did.
I've never been much good at banter, so went straight to the 'fat' jibe, out of the two I knew, being either 'fat' or 'gay.
And I'm not bald either.
Yourn being horrid today. I'm telling.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:01, Reply)
It doesn't even have to work

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:27, Reply)
he'd make more money if it did, though

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:28, Reply)
If you cure a problem how can you continue to make money from it?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:31, Reply)
because people have to keep buying the pills

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:35, Reply)

people I'd

+because I have two zinger tower burgers for lunch everyday.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:37, Reply)
oh man
hoist by my own petard
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:49, Reply)
I'll share a couple of b3tan secrets with you...
Stunned still wets the bed, Monty always cries at the bit when Bambi's mum dies and sporto used to be a man.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:23, Reply)
They're not secrets now are they!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:24, Reply)
I ain't got the stones

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:36, Reply)
Well, I know that I'm LOVELY.
But then again, EVERYONE knows that I'm LOVELY.
:D
(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:20, Reply)
altalt TANK TRACKS! AND EYE LASERS! AND SHINY METAL CLAWS!

(I helped save b3ta! stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:21, Reply)
did you make it rain in london today?
can you stop it, please?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:22, Reply)
I'd prolly give broads more tits

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:22, Reply)
Norfolk is particularly flat.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:23, Reply)
And the extra birdlife would be spiffing

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:25, Reply)
I know loads of secrets, I'm like the secret keeper

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:23, Reply)
And your secrets must be told

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:25, Reply)
I heard you fell over because you're too fat for the heels you were wearing.
or probably because you're on another knob diet for knobs that means you don't get all the stuff you need to be alive and yet still go out and drink 6 bottles of wine because "he told me he loved me and then shat on my chest" and you want the pain to go away. but oh no, you still have those dreams where an ugly gay man has you tied to the bed and force feeds you greggs cheese and onion bakes until you are so fat that they have to cut you out of the house.
or maybe you just had a bad day at the office and the stress got to you.
i'm no doctor after al.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:27, Reply)
i was in trainers and hurrying to get to the gym
you might need to resketch your picture bbz x
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:29, Reply)
alright, but the rest of it still stands up.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:31, Reply)
Size 2 feet on a size 20 body

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:33, Reply)
unlike me, with my borked kneees :(

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:34, Reply)
those knock knees'll getcha in the end

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:39, Reply)
Tough love, brah.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:30, Reply)
Nobody would be a doctor after Al...

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:30, Reply)
CLICK.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:34, Reply)
Clickin dis.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:38, Reply)
you
i have a medical question. when i was in and out of fainting, people were trying to give me water or cola, and one of the girls who'd done a first aid course said no liquids yet. in case i ever have to help anyone, i was wondering why. is it because they might choke???
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:43, Reply)

If you're not awake enough it's not a good idea, what with the risk of it going down the wrong way. And also: if you're obviously injured it could possibly put back any surgery you might need.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:44, Reply)
Hugely unlikely to put it back, unless your anaesthetist is a pussy shitcunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:45, Reply)
good to know, gracias
i'd have been of the "give her a drink to bring her round" school.

presumably that's only ok if it has vodka in it.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:45, Reply)
Alt: Bloody cyclists, and unnecessary rudeness. Cyclists I actively stop/shout at/physically attack.
Rudeness I respond to in a calm, deliberately irritating slightly patronising manner.

Altalt: look up fainting goats - you think WE'VE got a crap design? They faint and fall over if you - quite literally - shout boo at them.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:28, Reply)
You're all baldmonkey so who cares what secrets I know about you
alt: I send passive aggressive emails, it's totes cathartic.

altalt: TRUNDLE WHEEL for the measurement of distances
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:29, Reply)
I know of one b3tan who thinks that the film Hairspray is 'alright'

(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:29, Reply)
It's me!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:30, Reply)
Who? I don't believe you.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:30, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2084563
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:31, Reply)
Mince is SUCH a bender

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:31, Reply)
coo-ee!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:32, Reply)
i don't believe you,

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:31, Reply)
I think it's aces!
Divine's last film dontcherno
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:34, Reply)
Not Al

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:37, Reply)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:38, Reply)
Alright, wankers?
What's all this gash?

Alt: people. Ignorant piss bag people.

Altalt: By inserting my penis in a young Linda Ronstadt.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:30, Reply)
STAY ABOUT FROM MY RONSTADT

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:31, Reply)
I'm just upset he didn't feel he could talk to me...
Alt. Chav behaviour upsets me. Gang mentality, spitting big green gremmers in a pool where they stand.
Basic bigotry, racism, homophobia and the like.
Loud people on mobiles, people playing tinny music from mobiles.
The list goes on.

Altalt. I think it's a pretty resillient thing , the human body. it can with stand a lot.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:31, Reply)
You're really on the wrong site if those things bother you

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:33, Reply)
^GAY^

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:35, Reply)
This is all said tongue in cheek.
I come out with some right racist and homophobic shit in my day to day life but I never mean it.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:35, Reply)
You're the most homophobic one on here

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:36, Reply)
That's what my boyfriend says! Ha!

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:43, Reply)

jelly.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2084598
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:39, Reply)
Edgy ironic racism.
Best of all the racism.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:43, Reply)
HI!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:41, Reply)
Don't talk to me, faggot

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:48, Reply)
Just kiddin
xoxo
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:49, Reply)
I'm not though GJ, I'm being bullied :(

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:54, Reply)
This might excite some b3tans.
imgur.com/a/3FZjo
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:31, Reply)
why has the first one got a nut fanny
why steve
why
why
why
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:32, Reply)
Because fuck chocolate that's why!
It goes on forever.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:33, Reply)
I scrolled down a bit then re-evaluated my life and now I'm having an existential crisis
SO THANKS I GUESS
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:34, Reply)
I cannot stop scrolling...

(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:36, Reply)
Fat cunt

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:41, Reply)
Haha, that's rediculously extensive.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:28, Reply)
You fainted because of your current ridiculous diet

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:31, Reply)
all my friends have said this, it's totally unfair
i tripped over, like a spakka. that day, i had eaten:

yoghurt and fresh orange juice for breakfast
vegetable sushi for lunch
a packet of roasted chickpeas
a pint of skimmed milk
and a handful of my trainee's skittles

plenty of food!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:33, Reply)
none of that is food

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:35, Reply)
it's all tasty tasty food!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:36, Reply)
pretty sure they're all condiments
this might be why I'm fat thoguh
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:37, Reply)
that's right, thoguh
I ain't correcting it
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:37, Reply)
NO, theo is right.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:37, Reply)
ain't chickpeas stuff you put in other stuff, or mash up and feed to old dying people?
none of it's steak
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:38, Reply)
i thought it was bird feed.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:40, Reply)
She wants to get a 48oz two rib rib-eye steak down her.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:41, Reply)
is that an offer?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:41, Reply)
I don't fuck cripples.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:42, Reply)
lucky for you, mrs stunned doesn't feel the same

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:45, Reply)
Charity work, innit.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:46, Reply)
I really want to go back to Hawksmoor.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:42, Reply)
Rajasthan 2 for luncheon today

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:45, Reply)
Nice. I've never been. Heard good things though.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:48, Reply)
Old school. You get a free liquer at the end.
City tradition is Kummel.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:53, Reply)
Oh dear.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:59, Reply)
Those London churches have stood the test of time I will give him that

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:49, Reply)
these are dry roasted chickpeas in all different flavours
today i have fiery bombay mix flavour. it's like eating a giant bag of peanuts, but only 88 cals and 1.2 grams of fat, instead of 880 calories and 120 grams of fat.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:41, Reply)
Lack of meat is your problem

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:44, Reply)
or chips
a big bag of chips would do her wonders
men love ladies who eat chips
ask anyone
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:44, Reply)
I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:45, Reply)
You don't have any chips either.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:46, Reply)
if she'd just horse into a big bag of chips, maybe with a soss in batter too, she'd have men QUEUEING up around the block for a crack
maybe toss some salt and vinegar in her hair too, really rile them up
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:47, Reply)
Like cider to a piss head that.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:48, Reply)
she could have her pick of the slightly greasy arse crack hanging out of trousers type of blokes
doesn't know what she's missing, poor love
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:48, Reply)
Even tiny wee Battered would faint on that pitiful amount of food.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:36, Reply)
it's loads of food!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:40, Reply)
Show me how that lot would fit into the food pyramid.
www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Goodfood/Pages/Healthyeating.aspx
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:46, Reply)
fresh orange and vegetables
some carbs in the rice
lots of protein and fibre in the chickpeas
calcium and vit d in the milk
and i was intending to have a vegetable stirfry when i got home after the gym with the remaining 3 a day, except that didn't happen
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:51, Reply)
2. Starchy foods
Starchy foods should make up around one third of everything we eat. This means we should base our meals on these foods.

Potatoes are an excellent choice of a starchy food and a good source of fibre. Leave the skins on where possible to keep in more of the fibre and vitamins. For example, when having boiled potatoes or have a jacket potato, eat the skin too.

Try to choose wholegrain or wholemeal varieties of starchy foods, such as brown rice, wholewheat pasta and brown wholemeal bread. They contain more fibre (often referred to as 'roughage'), and usually more vitamins and minerals than white varieties
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:55, Reply)
i tried wholemeal pasta once,
tasted like soil. Fuck you yurty.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:57, Reply)
You're not leaving this table until it has all gone, young man.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:59, Reply)
I WANT SOME ORGANIC FREE RANGE NON PASTEURISED ICE CREAM NOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:00, Reply)
slow release starch (sugars) too.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:58, Reply)
Hang on, let me edit it to highlight some it, in case she misses it.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:01, Reply)
You have almost one meal spread across a whole day there.
And you were planning to go to the gym on that.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:57, Reply)
SHE NEEDS SOME CHIPS!!
Or at the very least a jacket spud with butter, beans and strong cheddar cheese.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:02, Reply)
I ALREADY SAID THAT UP THERE YOU FUCKING MONG.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:33, Reply)
I'VE BEEN IN A MEETING COS I HAVE A JOB

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:40, Reply)
BURN!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:42, Reply)
i'm playing Donkey Kong.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:42, Reply)

IN A MEETING COS I HAVE A ROUND MONTY'S NEIGHBOURHOOD GETTING A GOB
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:45, Reply)

GETTING

GIVING
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:50, Reply)
That is more likely...

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:52, Reply)
I don't deal in secrets, just the word on the street
and the word on the street has it that Mince is selling his brothel above a cafe to keep his hoover snout happy now that he's stolen all of the Becky fellas drugs that time at pizza hut and rachelswipies got her knockknees entangled after a ginger support group meeting at the Cheshire Cheese where many a samuel smiths were imbided and she fell and broke her velvet antlers. Theres also something about eating a munchy box with an oven glove in a yurt, but I forget who that was.
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:45, Reply)
^TGGI.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:47, Reply)
Click
An excellent summary.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:48, Reply)
the weird thing is
that it was indeed right outside the cheshire cheese.

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:49, Reply)
*gets on the mic*
ALPHA TEAM STAND DOWN. I REPEAT. ALPHA TEAM STAND DOWN. THE GINGER IS OUT OF HER NUT. I REPEAT, THE GINGER IS OUT OF HER NUT. OVER
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:52, Reply)
Now wreck the mic

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:53, Reply)
*shreds rory*

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:55, Reply)
i don't like ginger, as a rule
but gingernut biscuits are quite tasty
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:53, Reply)
Do not waste your time with ginger nuts when foxes ginger crinkle crunch are available.
BISCUIT CHAT
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:55, Reply)
What about ginger crinkle crunch CREAM?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:57, Reply)
Yes, preferable to the nut, but I think the crunch are better than the cream.
It's the stem ginger you know.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:58, Reply)
I'd rather swipe told her own sex stories actually

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:58, Reply)
*bokes*

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:03, Reply)
I know lots of secrets. I have a trustworthy demeanour, and people tell me loads of stuff.
Alt: people. They're shit
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:48, Reply)
do you know any secrets about me?

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:57, Reply)
I do
and you should be ashamed.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:00, Reply)
bugger.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:00, Reply)
It's not a secret if you tell what you did

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:01, Reply)
He really should.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:01, Reply)
I might go to the pub and have fish & chips for lunch.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:04, Reply)
Battered?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:04, Reply)
I don't like pub fish and chips
whereas the fish can be quite good the chips aren't chippy shop chips, which are the best chips

I might have some fish and chips too, I like fish and chips
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:06, Reply)
Not a fan of soggy chips.
The ones at the pub are pretty good & the fish is excellent. Not cheap though; £12.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:08, Reply)
still, if it's that good it sounds like an offer you can't refuse

(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:09, Reply)
You're talking me in to this.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:12, Reply)
but then some pubs are more likely to give you a bottle of ketchup rather than sachets
i fucking hate sachets
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:08, Reply)
Tartare sauce for me.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:11, Reply)
I have no time for chips.
They always disappoint and even if they're good ones, about 5 is enough before I get bored.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:19, Reply)
No, no, you should just have some yoghurt and a small handful of peanuts.
Then do an hour at the gym, then home for some raisins.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:06, Reply)
An hour at the gym? Fuck off.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:08, Reply)
Yeah but SALTED PEANUT'S \o/

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:15, Reply)
Just look at some pictures of some food then run a marathon
All the nutrition you need
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:09, Reply)
I might also vomit up anything I'd eaten in the last 24 hours, just to be really fucking stupid.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:11, Reply)
Plenty of secrets and whilst I have confided some in other b3tans
The operative word is confided and I expect the secrets to remain that way.

Privacy is a lost culture nowadays.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:11, Reply)
A man in your profession needs to be discreet.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:14, Reply)
'OMG GUYS LOOK, THIS TORY MP HAS BOUGHT A BUM-BOLLARD!!!'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:16, Reply)
The sad thing is, I know LOADS of really amazing
actual celebrity/people in power/not Sonia from Eastenders fetish bedroom sorcery but I've never actually told anyone. Not even my Mum!

I told yours though...
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:19, Reply)
Always good to have a blackmail dossier JUST IN CASE eh

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:21, Reply)
Now we want some good stuff!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:22, Reply)
Loose lips sink ships

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:14, Reply)
Loose lips get sales, in his case

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:19, Reply)
secrets?
Gaz me if you want any info on swipe.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:16, Reply)
QOTW vote is up, you lot like that don't you?
b3ta.com/board/11009398

Scaryduck stuck one of his suggestions in there to try and win the high street vouchers this week, bit of a poor show if you ask me
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:18, Reply)
He's a fucking bully :(

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:21, Reply)
He's a fucking nonce is what he is.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:25, Reply)
Break up stories will be fucking bloo boo dump

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:23, Reply)
Break up stories, lots of fodder for you lot,.since you're all grumpy middle aged divorcees

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:23, Reply)
>:(

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:24, Reply)
Soon enough knobcheese, soon enough

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:24, Reply)
should keep your dick out of your heffer ex then really

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:26, Reply)
Not you Theo, out of all the people on here NOT YOU :(
how can you believe these Vilifying & Slanderous rumours?
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:35, Reply)
I like not knowing anything about anything, means I believe EVERYTHING I'm told on here

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:35, Reply)
Ohhh well all these rumours were started by Battered as a diversionary measure to take the heat off him and his failed
marriage, his marriage failed when she found his credit card bill for the blue oyster bar weekend when he said he was working away in Poland, in a fit of rage she thrown of his platform shoes into the bedroom mirror only to discover his secret man cave behind it, upon entering their was all sorts of compromising pictures on the wall (all hung at 3'6" you know eye level) each one was Battered in various sexual acts including such people as Marc Almond, Michael Barrymore, Nigel Evans & Wentworth Miller from prison break.
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:49, Reply)
This has led to him being punched in the face by his wife and kicked out pennyless into the street, the punch knocked out his
front teeth and he now calls himself Gupta and disguises himself as a man of Asian appearance offering special services around the Bethnal Green area to get by, his wife was distraught and taken solace in the arms of Gonz.
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:55, Reply)
Because they originated from you?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:37, Reply)
Dr frog will have to tell his story then

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:24, Reply)
Well I'm finished for the weekend, might head down the juicer this arvo

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:23, Reply)
I see you are putting your remaining holidays to good use

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:24, Reply)
Yer, I got my delivery from himjim and I'm offto see you mum this evening

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:25, Reply)
RIGHT YOU LOT
Advice please. I've got a fellow making a second viewing of my gaff today. It's on at 300k, how much should I accept from him if he makes an offer? Rory said max 5% variation which would be 285.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:27, Reply)
Rory is the expert on these matters.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:28, Reply)
Refuse to sell to him or let him in the flat
The excitement this'll create will mean you can push the price up to 350k
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:29, Reply)
I like this plan.
I could also deny that I even have a flat.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:30, Reply)
If he asks why and what you're doing just go super racist
ME NO SELL TO YOU, ME SOLLY
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:30, Reply)
I could call him GLASSHOPPER

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:30, Reply)
Especially if he's black

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:31, Reply)
If he's black, I'll break out my classic Nigerian impression
AH WOULD LAK TO SEH TO YOOOOO, EEN MAH CONTREH AH AM A PREENS.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:33, Reply)
So I'm willing to sell to you but I have to ask how many bongos you plan to keep here
We have a strict anti-bongo policy, no bongos after 10pm, will you be able to abide by these rules?
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:34, Reply)
You won't be doing any of those Voodoo ceremonies will you?
I've seen 'Live and Let Die', you can't fool me - I know what you lot get up to.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:37, Reply)
If you're going to be draining chicken blood, remember to use the outside sink
Try to keep your human sacrifices to a minimum during the working week please, you godless savage.
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:42, Reply)
Lols

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:35, Reply)
Certainly don't go straight to that price, £295 might do it
It looks cheaper that way, as not starting with a 3, ya get me?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:29, Reply)
I'm inclined to hold out for the full arksking price, I'm in no hurry

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:32, Reply)
ps sorry to keep going on about this, I know it's tedious but it's a massive deal to me

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:29, Reply)
Chuck in the Lionel Richie bust as a sweetner

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:29, Reply)
fuck that, that's a frikkin heirloom yo

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:30, Reply)
HELLOom

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:31, Reply)
Easy bruv

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:32, Reply)
299k HTH

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:31, Reply)
Flat out lie and double the amount of viewings
you've actually had.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:32, Reply)
If he stops to think, start hustling him out saying 'the next viewer can't know I've seen you, you've got to go'
Like a battered bride
NOTE not battered's bride
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:33, Reply)
Although she did hustle him out the door pretty quickly.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:33, Reply)
her real husband was coming home

(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:35, Reply)
Ha!

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:44, Reply)
And remember the food delivery guy counts as a viewing

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:43, Reply)
always knock them back on their first offer.
Get them as close to 300 as you can. Tell them you've had an offer of 290 already. It's a seller's market innit bbz xx
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:32, Reply)
Come on now Monts, you know that haggling and bartering is uncouth and the preserve of Jewish barrow boys.
Accept the gentleman's offer politely with minimal fuss, then try to leave quickly and with dignity.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:39, Reply)
That's how I was raised.
I'm no Moroccan carpet salesman.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:40, Reply)
Offer to pay the man's fees as well.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:41, Reply)
Charge them a grand above asking, then knock them down

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:47, Reply)
Just referring back to the "stupid colleagues" from earlier
Him: "Can you make this change in development?"
Me: "sure." *clickclickclick*
5 mins later - Him: "will that have taken effect in the overnight build?"
Me: "The clue there is in the word 'overnight'."
Him: "Oh."
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:45, Reply)
So will it?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:47, Reply)
*beats tangles to death*

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 14:48, Reply)

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