Morning
It is the morning. I do not feel well.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 7:51, archived)

I really cannot be arsed with it today

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 7:53, archived)

Shall we sack it off and go to the beach?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 7:54, archived)

tempted to take tomorrow off
supposed to be a SCORCHA

in other sun-related news I've just read that after losses last year The Sun news has just been valued at £0. Lol
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 8:33, archived)

I know, it's great, isn't it?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 15 Jun 2021, 8:46, archived)

I might offer them a quid for it, just to be generous.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:15, archived)

oh christ no
my nearest beach is mablethorpe :(
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:14, archived)

:(

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:27, archived)

for my nearest beach I have a choice between Skegness or Weston-super-Mare

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 11:24, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8304335
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 11:30, archived)

morning
Self inflicted? I've slept funny and my back hurts

lol old
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 8:31, archived)

I think I've eaten something
My belly is angry and I've done some horrible shits
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 8:48, archived)

unlucky
I was in similar trouble yesterday but I can easily identify the culprit: three consecutive meals of curry.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 8:53, archived)

morning mate

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 8:56, archived)

Not your mate.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:48, archived)

:'(

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:21, archived)

morning
got the big fan out now

summer is officially here
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:09, archived)

+ny

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:10, archived)

lol fanny

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:13, archived)

fanny lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:18, archived)

that is a rude word lol

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:49, archived)

Fuck ing hell
building work begins tomorrow. This may not go well.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:24, archived)

pretty much guaranteed not to go off without drama of some sort I suspect

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:27, archived)

A world of lintels
agroprops, footings and skips. And pain. And dust. And vast, vast expense.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:31, archived)

Not sure theres enough tradesmen here to pick up on your joke in there

( mongychops, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:43, archived)

I got it.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:49, archived)

yep, not a fucking clue here

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:18, archived)

nor me

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:21, archived)

They are called acrow..habana I'm sure you agree

( mongychops, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:28, archived)

well that's improved my day, no question

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:49, archived)

Something about agro?

(dribble, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:26, archived)

^ is that online internet harassment?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:32, archived)

de n
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 15 Jun 2021, 11:40, archived)

this is clever but it took me far too long to get

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:29, archived)

You'll be alright.
Just Google up some lad banter so you can put the tradesman at ease
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:49, archived)

or just talk about the football, because they certainly will be

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:51, archived)

The project manager is learning to play guitar
and I know a few more chords than him so if it all goes wrong I can start talking about alternative fingerings and reaching around. No. Hang on...
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:52, archived)

When we had our extension plastered, it was a father and son team
The son turned out to be a really good blues guitarist, so we jammed for a bit. Until his dad stormed in and told us both off, because there was work to be done 😁
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:05, archived)

They calls it pink plaster Tuesday
and all I got's the blues
They calls it plastering' Tuesday
But I still gots the blues
I gone mixed up a bucketload
And none of it gots used
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:12, archived)

That's by Muddy Waters

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:13, archived)

my favourite bluesman is Sleepy John Estes because he sounds like rhyming slang

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:19, archived)

"See the match?"
"Which one?"
"Dunno."
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 15 Jun 2021, 11:41, archived)

"your face, my arse"
Or the rarer, collectible one: "your breath, a camel's fart"
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 11:50, archived)

HAVE A WANK
lol
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:38, archived)

Seriously though, make sure to keep hydrated
Combination of dicky tummy and hot weather is lethal
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:39, archived)

dicky
lol
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:44, archived)

Haha, like 'dick', right?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:53, archived)

lol u like dick rofl

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:15, archived)

lmao

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:20, archived)

Uh oh hahaha

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 11:00, archived)

I've got terrible trapped wind already , doing a right number on my guts

( mongychops, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:44, archived)

My brother was complaining of chest pain once
Our mum (true to form) gave him the whole "oh pull yourself together, it's just trapped wind, stop bloody moaning" bit. Long story short, he ended up in hospital with a collapsed lung. She's never lived that one down
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:53, archived)

So you're saying I'm dying ? For real ?

( mongychops, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:54, archived)

I'm just saying we shouldn't rule it out

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:03, archived)

rip m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:20, archived)

I broke my arm falling off my BMX once
and it was 3 days before my dad believed it was broken and took me to A&E.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:23, archived)

sorry about your dad being a cunt m8

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:41, archived)

"So you grew an extra elbow? You should be grateful, I never had one of those growing up. We had to make do with the two god gave us"

(dribble, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:47, archived)

If you insist.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:48, archived)

morning
get well soon
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:45, archived)

Aren't you a doctor. Why aren't you helping me.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 9:50, archived)

nah, I'm the just the one who makes the medicines.
You need agent pr1ck to prescribe one of them first.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:16, archived)

He's too busy being a dick towards his dick neighbours

(dribble, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:28, archived)

Morning, I too
am in the dodgy guts crew
might go for a poo
again
( broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:49, archived)

show us what to do
make a break for the loo
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 10:51, archived)

i have done some very bad mess poopies

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 11:20, archived)

morning
I'm trying to even out the stripes of tanned skin and pasty white skin across my fat belly
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 11:20, archived)

I'm having real problems believing that you have a fat belly m8, you're a streak of piss

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:13, archived)

I've done a lot of eating and drinking throughout covid
An unfortunate side effect of the condition of being a streak of piss is that any weight gain only appears on the belly, resulting in the classic 'snake that has swallowed an egg' look
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:46, archived)

The problem is that they don't WANT to work

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 14:39, archived)

this morning I read that somebody'd referred to Tim Martin as "Worzel Gummidge on crack"

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 14:42, archived)

somebody who's never actually seen someone on crack, I assume

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 14:55, archived)

it was someone on the internet
nuff said
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 14:59, archived)

crack lol

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 3:32, archived)

Yeah, that doesn't make sense
"If Worzel Gummidge owned a chain of shitty pubs" would be more apt
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:03, archived)

i would have thought old Gummidge was more in to speed as well

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:08, archived)

Well there's no way he's a smoker
Far too dangerous
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:08, archived)

lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:40, archived)

He's actually immortal and impervious to harm

(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:42, archived)

lol pervi

(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:43, archived)

I think the description "looks like a freshly shaved bollock" does perfectly well
much like Lawrence Fox looks like a just-wanked cock
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:07, archived)

That laurence fox really is a prize tit isn't he?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:08, archived)

Credit where credit is due
He's sticking with this whole 'acting like a prize cunt' routine, when many would have folded by now. "He hates BLM, because he thinks it stands for Billie Left Me" got a pretty big lol out of me
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:10, archived)

ha, that is funny,
i saw someone say that maybe it was Jaocquin Phoenix piece of dramatic art, where he was seeing how ridiculous he could be and still have some support from the idiot public
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:11, archived)

That's entirely plausible

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:11, archived)

sounds like something Shia LaBeouf would do

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:14, archived)

Shia Richard
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:44, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8304277
(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:47, archived)

Haha, I called him "meth-head scarecrow" in conversation not an hour ago.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:13, archived)

my favourite is shit thundercat

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 17:25, archived)

I'm suspicious of anyone who claims they want to work.
Who are they trying to fool?
( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 14:42, archived)

Are you crazy?
I blummin love work, pardon my francais
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:03, archived)

is this about your raisin-like testes again m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 14:55, archived)

Yes
:(
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:04, archived)

...and that's why they live in godawful Local Authority housing, packed in to 'estates' with nothing else in their lives apart from cheap sportswear and bad food.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 14:57, archived)

And their iPhones and netflick's

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:07, archived)

Prolific beter poster's, you mean

(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:02, archived)

'member when OT posters moaned about getting work bollockings for mucking about on the internet?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:03, archived)

No, soz

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:07, archived)

I WAS TALKING TO DRIMBLE, NOT TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:08, archived)

Oh sorry, you all look the same to me

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:10, archived)

*brb klaxon*

(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:39, archived)

Klaxon, klaxoff, Daniel San

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:59, archived)

velly solly, Hu Flung Dung, there's a nip in the air: Japan Airlines
glasshopper, flied lice, sore finger ('salt and vinegar')

I think that's all of them
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 16:11, archived)

Haha

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 16:11, archived)

you forgot Wun Hung Lo

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 16:21, archived)

media.giphy.com/media/1BRXy8cUS1jyw/giphy.gif
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 16:58, archived)

of course! what a fool I have been

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 17:55, archived)

i don't blame them,
i've just spent the afternoon crawling around in a loft fitting up some lights because some water wanker refuses to go up and inspect the storage tanks with a torch. I don't want to work either
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:07, archived)

Well I was talking about you specifically, m8

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:08, archived)

as always, you've got me down to a tee.
How are you?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:09, archived)

Oh y'know
Stylin, profilin', farting out the front
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:11, archived)

You?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:13, archived)

good,bit tired from the heat,
mostly just enjoying some normality after a pretty turbulant year for my mental health.

Also, a bit sad because my motorbike is delayed on delivery until later in the week. i was all excited
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:17, archived)

Glad you're feeling like things are getting better
Shame about the bike, but it'll be ready soon enough
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:21, archived)

I hope so, plus, I got a whole box of twister ice lollies in yesterday so I can have one of those when I get home

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:28, archived)

Fucken lovely
I had a lime callipo at my auntie's yesterday. It was fucken beezer
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:31, archived)

you know what is under rated?
Lime Curd on toast for breakfast
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:40, archived)

It's an exciting vacation on lemon
but I always go back
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:49, archived)

Can I shock you?
I have never had lemon curd
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:58, archived)

woah woah m8 you didn't wait for him to say if you could shock him or not
And I'm afraid it's a no
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 16:02, archived)

Fuck
Well, I had a good run. Bye everyone!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 16:11, archived)

we've got some R White's lemonade lollies in the freezer, might have one RIGHT NOW as it goes

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:42, archived)

^ secret lemonade-eater

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:44, archived)

ade-eat parti
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:58, archived)

do it

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:44, archived)

I jolly well am

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:46, archived)

those things are fit

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 17:24, archived)

Iceland stock liquorice twist lollies
they are fucking gorgeous
www.iceland.co.uk/p/barratt-black-jack-aniseed-and-vanilla-flavour-ice-lollies-4-x-80ml-%28320ml%29/79453.html
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:53, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8304269
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:55, archived)

ewww, eff that m8
liquorice is fucking mank
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:56, archived)

It certainly sorts the children from the grown ups

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:58, archived)

i was looking at those last week
i might give them a try. the cherry tornadoes are still the best, mind
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 17:27, archived)

Well, the revised price of the build is through
it's gone up about 13% due to the hike in materials. That's about £4k.
We're gonna cut down on a couple of the optional extras and instead of a new kitchen we'll reinstall the old one and live with it for a couple of years but I recon by this time next week we'll be well into the demolition phase.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:52, archived)

lol

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 15:54, archived)

I do hope you've got a decent contingency factored in as well
I've seen Grand Designs, I know how this shit works - basically I'm an expert
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 16:01, archived)

We've watched it as well and the mistake they all make is wanting it to look nice
I just don't give a flying fuck.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 16:06, archived)

low expectations, always a good idea

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 16:09, archived)

I just leave it to my partner to unleash all hell if things aren't up to scratch
it's a weird subversion of the nice cop/nasty cop routine
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 17:12, archived)

Funny, that's what your builder keeps saying too

(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 16:12, archived)

that's what every builder says

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 17:09, archived)

Oh this sounds like job racism

(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 17:22, archived)

alright 'Nick Berry'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 17:57, archived)

I had about 8 weeks of not working when I was between jobs earlier this year and I have to say it was pretty good
Granted, the pay wasn't as good, but if you can get someone else to pick up the tab I thoroughly recommend it.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 16:40, archived)

I love you a bit x
🤭
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 16:53, archived)

a bit Ro-land
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 17:59, archived)

aw shucks, c'mere y'big lug

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 18:42, archived)

❤️

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 18:55, archived)

i want to do a job that i'm physically capable of doing
and that won't fuck my health up even worse than it already is.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 17:30, archived)

That does rather narrow down your options.
Work is designed to fuck your health up, that way you spend the majority of your life earing money and then don't live long enough to enjoy a costly pension.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 20:33, archived)

I imagine zuckerberg types are the only ones not being gradually crushed into nothingness by their work
and twitch streamers, playing video games in return for thousands of dollars a day
(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 23:12, archived)

afternoon

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 12:39, archived)

kind of

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 12:45, archived)

is the time of day after midday? yes, yes it is.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 12:49, archived)

Isn't the time always after midday?
oooooooh
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 12:49, archived)

MIND = BLOWN

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 12:50, archived)

MIND DOGS' COCKS
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 12:53, archived)

whatever flotes yer bote m8

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 12:56, archived)

Afternoon?
*checks clock*
Afternoon.
(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 13:01, archived)

alright dribble

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 13:10, archived)

$$

(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 13:18, archived)

chec wan
l
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 13:22, archived)

Nah, got that out of the way before 7
early riser, etc
(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 13:29, archived)

morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 8:24, archived)

weekend of highs and lows here
overall I'd give it a 6.5/10
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 8:31, archived)

in my life my cup is either empty or it runneth over

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 8:39, archived)

good nooning CET

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 11:00, archived)

Mine's kind of half-full of vomit. Or half empty, you know.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 11:57, archived)

Yo

( mongychops, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 8:34, archived)

never made it to that sneaker exhibition
checked on google maps, good service on the district line - except the whole fucking line was shut all weekend, got on a replacement bus, the driver took a wrong turning and got stuck in a street that was too narrow. Got off, walked home, game over ffs
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 8:45, archived)

That's shit

( mongychops, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 8:49, archived)

very much so, and I had a bustup with my mrs over the kid
how wuz ur sport viewing?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 8:52, archived)

Apart from watching that bloke dying and being CPR'd back to life,very enjoyable. Roll on 2pm for the next installment

( mongychops, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 8:56, archived)

nice one

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 9:00, archived)

Hahaha oh england

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 12:09, archived)

business as usual

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 12:20, archived)

is it coming home?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 10:21, archived)

alright, "Three Lions on a Shirt"

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 11:43, archived)

Rechargeable clothing, whatever next

(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 11:49, archived)

Bit early to say

( mongychops, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 12:03, archived)

the workshop here areconvinced it definitely is

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 12:08, archived)

You gotta have faith

(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 12:26, archived)

alright, "George Michael"

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 12:31, archived)

alright, "Fred Durst", I mean
was taking short shit with the melody in my head when I thought of that
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 12:37, archived)

Remember limp bizkit calling other bands "faggots" in the press as a funny insult, ah the 90s

(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 12:47, archived)

'member when 'nu metal' was a thing and suddenly white teenagers thought they could rap?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 12:50, archived)

I remember Robb Flynn had some of breakdown
and people are still mocking him for it
(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 13:00, archived)

some of breakdown, some not of breakdown

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 13:15, archived)

Bit unkind
I'm out of sorts
(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 13:17, archived)

morning

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 8:39, archived)

hullo wood-o

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 8:45, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 9:00, archived)

it's a sweaty one here in my pants

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 9:01, archived)

it's a bit rainy here in HG1 this morning lol

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 9:09, archived)

heck yeah, morning it is

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 9:06, archived)

alright Yoda

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 9:08, archived)

We had a big old party weekend
and now I feel a little bit fuzzy. The good news is that with so many colleagues on holiday the weekly Monday morning MS Teams call has been cancelled.

There was a bit of a to-do yesterday in our road. Our neighbours a couple of doors along are viciously protective of the parking space in front of their house and if anyone parks there they tend to leave notes threatening they'll inform the police and the DVLA. I mean, it's a public highway, but they are convinced they have some kind of right over it. Yesterday someone had the temerity to park there and it all kicked off big-time. At first we though there had been a crash but it really was just a huge screaming match with threats and massive argy-bargy. We were too hung over to go and really enjoy the fracas, but it sounded like all-hell was breaking loose.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 9:22, archived)

tempers fray in hot weather
just look at the middle east
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 9:26, archived)

Yes, this suburb in zone 2 south east London does resemble the West Bank
more often than I'd like.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 9:35, archived)

I spent a very odd summer in Stamford Hill amidst the Hassidic community
Funnily enough one of the main streets there is called West Bank, they just can't help themselves
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 9:36, archived)

It's a quality bit of coincidence, that.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 14 Jun 2021, 11:59, archived)

isn't it just

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 12:27, archived)

Might go park there and call the police myself, say I'm being physically threatened by a mental

(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 9:32, archived)

Please let me know when you plan to do this
so I can be ready with my phone so I can make an hilarious film (in portrait mode, natch) and go viral on teh tiktokinstagrams
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 9:35, archived)

Alright Darnella

(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 10:21, archived)

Alright Smas..oh

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 9:36, archived)

needs more unconvincing kitchen sink drama

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 10:03, archived)

To be fair though mate, they do have the right to park in the space right outside their house.
Unfortunately for them, so does everyone else.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 9:51, archived)

What?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 11:58, archived)

Oh, you know
stuff
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 12:28, archived)

Morning, how’s the helm?
I’ve started training for a Marathon and it’s customary for me to work it into every conversation from now on.
And of course, I must tell The Internet
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 9:30, archived)

Started running on the hottest day eh

(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 9:33, archived)

I went out at 6am, still pretty humid though

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 9:35, archived)

it's reeking, bro
Haha, might make a joke about Marathon chocolate bars, that would be super lol!!

Good luck with it though, personally: fuck that for a laugh
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 9:35, archived)

Cheers, it’s my first one
You should definitely make a humorous misunderstanding-based comment about the chocolate bar, we all like a right laugh around here
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 9:37, archived)

the laughs don't come much bigger than when they concern a snack whose name got changed in 1990 so the joke no longer works

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 9:41, archived)

since when has a joke being painfully shit ever stopped it being posted on /talk?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 9:52, archived)

+by me

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 9:57, archived)

TWTJ m8
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 10:02, archived)

ur TJ m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 10:07, archived)

+ Hooker

(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 10:18, archived)

+ The MGs

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 10:19, archived)

Fuck off MGS

(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 10:22, archived)

run, Forrest!

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 9:41, archived)

Good luck
I quite enjoyed doing the Paris marathon, but running the Amsterdam one made me realise I only ever really needed to one.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 13:58, archived)

one the race

(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 14:09, archived)

phew what a scorcher

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 10:06, archived)

innit

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 10:14, archived)

i'm hot

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 10:19, archived)

you sure are, m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 10:24, archived)

i had a few pints of lager in the sun yesterday and i did feel quite woozy,
need to get my summer drinking back on track
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 10:32, archived)

I was on full dad-manning-the-grill duty yesterday, with the obligatory accompanying lagers
once I got back from the 2hr round trip dropping the nipper home I was fucked
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 10:33, archived)

i can imagine, i came in from the heat and promptly fell asleep on the sofa

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 10:50, archived)

Got to do one of those online
aptitude tests for a job I applied for. That's all folks.
( theniwokeup has been awake since, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 10:35, archived)

good luck, new person

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 10:48, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8304134
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 10:58, archived)

5/7 some pig

(dribble, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 11:38, archived)

The son of the childminder who looks after our nipper during working hours has been puking this morning,
so all the kids have had to be sent home while they get a covid test for her kid sorted out, which'll take a couple of days. Meaning either my Mrs or me will probably have to take some emergency leave, sigh.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 14 Jun 2021, 12:01, archived)

it's shit (but understandable) that nurseries etc insist on independently verified Covid tests before you can send your kid back to them eh

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 12:07, archived)

have you considered fucking off to mumsnet?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 14 Jun 2021, 12:09, archived)

Have you considered snogging my bumhole?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 14 Jun 2021, 14:10, archived)

childminder is as bad a word as babysitter
but what do I care?
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 14 Jun 2021, 12:38, archived)

I don't know, you tell me.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 14 Jun 2021, 14:10, archived)

Vacherin Mont D'Or to Tea's cheese tease
Second place: Epoisses

Now gaze in wonder at my reeking helm
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 19:57, archived)

You smegging smeg-head!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 13 Jun 2021, 20:49, archived)

Cheese: it can lead to your downfall
www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-merseyside-57226165
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 20:51, archived)

The last thing I want to gaze in wonder at is your reeking helm
#nooffence
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 21:31, archived)

last
( Cheers Cheers, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 22:17, archived)

It’s so hypnotic

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 22:19, archived)

Lol 'gaze'

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 22:50, archived)

gaze me a pic of ur reeking helm pls

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 22:58, archived)

Shithead neighbour just ordered his Alexa to play Bastille at maximum volume, ruining what had been a nice afternoon in the garden.
I've opened my windows and placed my speakers facing his garden but just need a little help with my antisocial playlist.
So far I have:

DJ Assault - Ass-N-Titties
Akinyele - Put it in your mouth
2 Live Crew - Face Down, Ass Up
Easy E - Gimme That Nut
Have Leg - Parappa Goes Hard AF
DJ Shadow - Nobody Speak
The Rugged Man - Cunt Renaiassance
Combichrist - This shit will fuck you up
Peaches - Fuck the pain away

Any other suggestions?
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 13:50, archived)

Yeah just grow up a tiny bit.

( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 13:51, archived)

So, like, play loud jazz or something?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 15:11, archived)

Like this?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRKX-NZTDVI
( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 17:14, archived)

Fuck if I know I hate jazz

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 17:16, archived)

Alright ‘Johnny’

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 18:18, archived)

No real Johnnies please

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 19:02, archived)

+You act like stupid kids

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 13 Jun 2021, 16:52, archived)

All of "Everyone Should Be Killed" - Anal Cunt

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 13:56, archived)

Only 59 minutes. Do you think he'd notice if I looped it a couple of times?

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 14:00, archived)

probably not
every song is the same minute of grindcore guitars + drums and primal screaming
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 14:04, archived)

Thinking I might put that on for the waiting room on Monday

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 14:06, archived)

music has proven therapeutic effects

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 14:21, archived)

Well I’m feeling better about things now that I know Anal Cunt are going to get some play time.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 15:16, archived)

That's quite long for a song, isn't it?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 13 Jun 2021, 16:51, archived)

yes it's actually several songs

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 17:53, archived)

Oh, I'd assumed it was an error for seconds.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 13 Jun 2021, 20:50, archived)

Push the button by the sugababes, not rude but really fucking irritating

( broadsword now that's fresh, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 14:08, archived)

In that case, 'Stupid Ho' by Nicki Minaj.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 13 Jun 2021, 17:40, archived)

Galvanize, you mean

(dribble, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 17:42, archived)

Adding to the noise will definitely endear you to all the other neighbours who are already equally pissed off

(dribble, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 14:11, archived)

It’s just one plus after another!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 15:12, archived)

Would you stop playing with that radio of yours?
I'm trying to get to sleep
(dribble, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 18:37, archived)

Most songs by the Macc Lads are considered horribly offensive.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 13 Jun 2021, 15:26, archived)

Brutha lynch has some lovely stuff

( mongychops, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 15:56, archived)

Geto Boys, 'Fuck You'.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 13 Jun 2021, 16:51, archived)

Chant EN-GER-LAND whilst swigging from a lukewarm can of fosters
Extra points if they’re foreign
( Cheers Cheers, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 18:22, archived)

Paint the lawn like a st george flag
or concrete, whatever
(dribble, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 18:28, archived)

paint the lawn like concrete?

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 19:22, archived)

The grey, grey grass of home

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 19:29, archived)

Don't forget to like concrete, comment on paint and subscribe to the lawn

(dribble, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 19:52, archived)

youtu.be/4FqbkKh8mro
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 19:49, archived)

Cheers, I'd forgotten about that. Great tune and really gets the message across.

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 20:49, archived)

youtu.be/ozgpCd_6iDk
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 20:00, archived)

SNEEB
Alright d00d's. Turned out nice again, eh?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 13 Jun 2021, 11:07, archived)

FINE THEN.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 13 Jun 2021, 13:14, archived)

High tea, yes, hope planearm enjoyed his 2 LARGE PIZZAS last night

( broadsword now that's fresh, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 13:38, archived)

It's important that we find out who paid for them

(dribble, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 13:45, archived)

I actually kept checking back last night in case someone replied to my “I’m high as a motherfucker” comment, that’s how high I was.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 15:15, archived)

God I'm pissed anD I JUST ORDERED 2 LARGE PIZZAS

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 21:21, archived)

gOOD
I’m high as a motherfucker if that’s any help.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 23:51, archived)

Cheers

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 18:23, archived)

Alright?
Watching footy or doing something else?
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 19:16, archived)

doing something else
I'll watch a world cup but not whatever bauble the Sunday leagues are scrapping over this time.
( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 19:21, archived)

sweating, mostly

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 19:51, archived)

betting, mostly

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 19:57, archived)

IBYA

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 23:53, archived)

coming out at night, mostly

(dribble, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 20:01, archived)

My mommy always told me there was no real dribble
But there is
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 23:07, archived)

You must have loved it. Casually was still on

( mongychops, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 20:02, archived)

Casualty isn't on till half 9

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 21:20, archived)

there's already been a casualty on the pitch, apparently

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 21:22, archived)

Horrible to watch, bbc should have cut away much sooner. Kids watching that

( mongychops, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 22:06, archived)

Morning.
Alt.: favourite French cheese? I'd have to say cantal vieux.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 12 Jun 2021, 11:05, archived)

Red Leicester

( djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 12:05, archived)

Rouge les stère

(Martin Anus, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 14:48, archived)

not favorite but I do like a runny Camembert/Brie with my Bordeaux's
there are many formidable cheeses in western and eastern Europe.
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 12:59, archived)

true
can't beat the classics imo
( theniwokeup has been awake since, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 13:17, archived)

Daft Punk

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 13:06, archived)

weren't they Belgian?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 13:15, archived)

No, that’s Hercule Poirot

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 13:55, archived)

livarot

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 13:14, archived)

^ cheese-eating surrender monkey

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 13:18, archived)

Gérard Depardieu's knob scrapings
#infest
( broadsword now that's fresh, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 13:55, archived)

Mmm, très piquant!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 12 Jun 2021, 14:09, archived)

Lambert in Tarzan the legend of greystoke

( mongychops, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 15:22, archived)

Monterey Jacques

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sat 12 Jun 2021, 18:58, archived)

Casu martzu

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 13 Jun 2021, 2:04, archived)

Good afternoon, dickhead's
Queef here, just checking everyone's OK?

It's the weekend, which I'm sure we all agree is both 'woo' and 'yay'. Got the kid this weekend, off to the Design Museum to the sneakers exhibition wot mongy tipped me to, should be good. Then a load of grilling and chilling, like a villing.

how bow u lol
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 12:37, archived)

dunno, got some people viewing my house tomoz but that's about it mate

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Jun 2021, 12:49, archived)

they will be put off by your appallingly bad taste in interiors and won't make an offer
sorry to be the bearer etc
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:08, archived)

you mean the camouflage wallpaper was a bad choice?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:08, archived)

I'm afraid the 'snapback' display cabinet and wall-mounted skateboards will induce such chronic belming that your chances of selling are nil
As they leave one will turn to the other and say 'if that fucking deacon lives here then there's no fucking way I'm ever going to'
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:17, archived)

THE ALAN PARTRIDGE SKATEBOARD HAS BEEN A BIG HIT SO FAR, I WILL HAVE U NO

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:18, archived)

skateboard shrine
(dribble, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:32, archived)

People bounce back!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:34, archived)

He's a mentalist!
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Fri 11 Jun 2021, 16:36, archived)

We'll have that pint!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Jun 2021, 16:37, archived)

I'm having a glass of wine with my lunch like some kind of fucken frenchman

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 12:58, archived)

This is actually quite cultured and makes you sound sexy

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:04, archived)

I'm planning to have a couple of cans of stella with my breakfast tomorrow, very continental.

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:10, archived)

might have a negroni at 7am like one'a them dolce vita muthafuckahs

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:11, archived)

ni
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:17, archived)

Terrible bullying of michael palin

(dribble, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 16:11, archived)

This has taken me two hours to get

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 18:20, archived)

BRB!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 15:18, archived)

We’re like the fucken Gatsbys up in here

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 17:48, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8303921
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:20, archived)

Mon dieu

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:59, archived)

sacre bleu m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:10, archived)

"mhuite"? o_0

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:13, archived)

hon hee hon

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:17, archived)

ooh la fucken la

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:19, archived)

oui, oui, m8



lol oui-oui lol
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 14:04, archived)

The build hasn't begun
and the brother in law has moved out so we've got an empty house for the first time in months - gonna large it!
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 12:59, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYrXdkKQTeE
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:12, archived)

My fucken hammock turned up, m8
I'm a hammock prick now
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:03, archived)

50p+


lol
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:08, archived)

Lol
That's my nap in the garden sorted
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 14:00, archived)

^ Richard Hammock

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:09, archived)

John Hammock
Welcome....to a Jurassic kip
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 14:01, archived)

All about the footballs
I'm sure everyone else on /chat is excited to spend the next month watching and talking about nothing other than the Euros.
( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:04, archived)

no thanks mate

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:08, archived)

gosh yes

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:09, archived)

Might dust off the old miggy and fire up john barnes european football to celebrate

(dribble, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:40, archived)

Got relatives here (the good kind), lots of boozing going on.
BBQ dinner planned later, also found some home made jerk paste in the freezer earlier. Rock on!
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:16, archived)

fricken A, m8
Smoked wings and slaw for lunch 2moz, burgers for dinner then an Indian grillfest Sunday, happy days
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:40, archived)

NOICE

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 11 Jun 2021, 17:11, archived)

I'll be up the pub watching the football people

( mongychops, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:40, archived)

supposed to be a scorcher on Sunday, perfect all day pub conditions

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 13:43, archived)

My plan for both days is to be up the pub at 1, watch the early game

( mongychops, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 14:28, archived)

the niece is fucking off for the weekend
so i'm taking the opportunity to give the place a damn good clean
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 16:12, archived)

dunno why u don't just get a job as a cleaner, if you have no issues preventing you from cleaning your own gaff why not get paid to clean other people's gaffs?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Jun 2021, 16:26, archived)

i'll clean my own place because i have no other option
and i can rest every 20 minutes to stop my legs swelling, but there's no way i'm taking a cleaning job, i fucking hate cleaning
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 16:48, archived)

Not one forum poster doesnt want you too fuck off for good, you never do tho even when banned repeatedly by the moderators

( mongychops, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 16:53, archived)

it's Friday, it's 5pm, it's time for a drink I reckon, cheers

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 17:02, archived)

Cheers

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 17:07, archived)

just had a cheeky couple in TRUE PATRIOT TIM MARTIN's top East Ham hostelry, first indoor pub visit of 2021

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 17:17, archived)

tl;dr cheers

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 17:18, archived)

Few of my mates tried to drag me into a ‘spoons in Leeds last weekend
I said I’m not setting foot in that shithole

Leeds, I mean
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 17:34, archived)

b3ta, you mean

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 17:50, archived)

Weekend is here woooo

(dribble, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 17:18, archived)

i'll fucking drink to that

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 17:30, archived)

not til you've finished scrubbing someone's shitcaked bog for £2 an hour
It'll do you good, dozer's orders
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 18:26, archived)

A'igh' I is well sunburnt innit

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 21:11, archived)

Actor who became famous playing a movie jihadi complains that films contain too many muslims connected to violence

(dribble, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 22:18, archived)

morning

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 9:13, archived)

Sympathy Tony Shithouse

(Tony Shithouse, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 9:16, archived)

Tony Shithouse

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Jun 2021, 9:27, archived)

BumPooDick Posse

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 9:29, archived)

^ is that online internet harassment?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Jun 2021, 10:17, archived)

it sure is, m + the atomic number of oxygen

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 10:33, archived)

morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 9:45, archived)

Thinking of becoming one of those incels
They look like they have a right laugh
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 10:20, archived)

they'll fit right in here oh hahaha!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Jun 2021, 10:27, archived)

can confirm

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 10:41, archived)

I liked the phrase I heard about incels:
"The moment you self-identify as an incel, your celibacy becomes voluntary."
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 11:00, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ihRPi4wcBY
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 11:12, archived)

moment you self-identify as an incel, your celibacy becomes voluntary" Porcupine From Purgatory is our king and master, for he is the biggest fucking incel of all time, no quezzies"
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 11:50, archived)

Hi

( mongychops, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 10:35, archived)

Can confirm Lewisham market is one CLASSY PLACE at 10am on a Friday
yes, sir-eee. A very classy place.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 10:53, archived)

just tell your boring story mate, the tease is unnecessary it’s not the x factor

(Tony Shithouse, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 10:57, archived)

3/7 crusty winnets

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 10:54, archived)

Tina Turne's lesssszzzzz

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 11:33, archived)

comin' from my botty crease

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 11:50, archived)

Hi guys. Just to let you know we're really busy at the moment so it would be a huge help if all patients could just fuck right off.
If you think you need urgent medical advice there is an /askdocs thread on Reddit.
Many thanks,
Your NHS hero.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 12:25, archived)

What does it mean if your halmit smells of sugar puffs?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 12:28, archived)

You bummed the honey monster?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 12:59, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Jun 2021, 8:56, archived)

This is horrible I don't know where to reply

( Cassius Kray floats like a butterfly, stings like a trout, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 10:03, archived)

Woke up at stupid o clock so went for a bimble on the motorbike
Off to the gym now.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 6:24, archived)

Woke up this morning,
found I could only talk in blues clichés.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 11 Jun 2021, 9:20, archived)

imb umho
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 9:45, archived)

Something something quick ride humps etc.

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 10:35, archived)

Afternoon.
Alt.: favourite semiconductor device? I'd have to say JFET transistor.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 10 Jun 2021, 13:00, archived)

IMPATT diode mate, it's the only real choice.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 10 Jun 2021, 13:08, archived)

555 timer IC 4 lyfe m8

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 13:20, archived)

A true connoisseur's choice.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 10 Jun 2021, 13:38, archived)

I was gonna say that :(

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 16:10, archived)

555 gang represent

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 16:40, archived)

Look I can’t do the gang sign I’ve only got two hands

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 22:52, archived)

I prefer the 556
it's like having two 555s in one.
( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 23:31, archived)

Where would we be
without the LED?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 13:20, archived)

I think you and me
would be unable to see
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 13:33, archived)

Hold my pint mate, just off for a wee.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 10 Jun 2021, 13:40, archived)

int aenus
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 14:07, archived)

ae æ
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 10 Jun 2021, 14:16, archived)

did ye, æ?

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 14:20, archived)

Æ.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 10 Jun 2021, 14:29, archived)

alright Wilhelm

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 16:12, archived)

+ly
+it
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 10 Jun 2021, 16:24, archived)

heh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 17:17, archived)

specifically came here for the LED to be mentioned

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 18:28, archived)

^ I came here to say this

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 22:55, archived)

afternoon
alt: there's no way I'm telling you that, are you mad?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 14:31, archived)

Your transistor name is the name of your grandmother, grandfather
first pet, first road you lived on, school and your date of birth and bank sort code and account +istor
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 14:42, archived)

Plus the last three digits on the signature strip on your debit card.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 10 Jun 2021, 14:43, archived)

Fair enough.
Discretion is the better part of valour, after all, and that applies to semiconductor components as well as anything else.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 10 Jun 2021, 14:42, archived)

God, I miss Frank
Imagine that
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 14:50, archived)

I've tried, but I'm afraid I can't.

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 16:15, archived)

Yeah, he was occasionally a funny cunt but much of the time he was just a cunt.
Very poor signal:noise ratio.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 10 Jun 2021, 16:25, archived)

BrewDog lols
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 14:51, archived)

#beertoo

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 15:08, archived)

#mebrew

(dribble, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 0:06, archived)

Bet Brewdog post this on their own site
with "^ UPSET" underneath it
(dribble, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 15:20, archived)

Bantz

(dribble, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 15:21, archived)

that would be in keeping with their compassionate, human-centred company culture

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 15:22, archived)

BD are such a cunt company and most of their beers are arse.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 10 Jun 2021, 15:58, archived)

POOdog, I call them!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 16:02, archived)

Dunno, I quite like an overpowering grapefruit tang
but if what you say is true, it could be dangerous
(dribble, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 16:09, archived)

En garde!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 10 Jun 2021, 16:25, archived)

I had one of their ciders. Tasted like fucking Calpol.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 10 Jun 2021, 17:07, archived)

What an incredibly tedious litany of boohooing
I should imagine the number of people who give a flying shit about a bunch of blubbing upset ex-employees is precisely the same number as is contained in the bunch of blubbing upset ex-employees
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 16:25, archived)

*offers regular column in The Spectator*

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 10 Jun 2021, 16:26, archived)

*accepts*

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 16:31, archived)

I’ve got a regular column right here
*points at Queef’s new employment contract*
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 16:39, archived)

going to put this on my blog with "^ UPSET" under it

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 16:38, archived)

^ is that online internet harassment?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 16:47, archived)

Many kinds of semiconductor devices have been developed in line with the expansion of application fields and the progress of electronic equipment. “Discrete semiconductors” are single devices with a single function such as transistors and diodes, I reckon

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 11 Jun 2021, 4:41, archived)

That's what I was getting at, yes.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 11 Jun 2021, 8:05, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 10 Jun 2021, 11:21, archived)

alright dribble

(dribble, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 11:43, archived)

$$

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 10 Jun 2021, 11:43, archived)

yes thanks

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 12:29, archived)

gr8 to heer

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 10 Jun 2021, 12:35, archived)

Lip up fatty
and morning
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 7:49, archived)

Garold

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 10 Jun 2021, 7:50, archived)

Windy.

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 8:02, archived)

I bought a new to me motorbike yesterday.
A 1050 speed triple.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 10 Jun 2021, 8:08, archived)

That's a tasty triple
that is
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 8:16, archived)

Got to wait for Monday for delivery, and then I'm away to ride it in to a dry stone wall

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 10 Jun 2021, 8:24, archived)

You'll do a few wheelies on your way to totalling it
no doubt. That is a grade-A hooligan's ride and no mistake.

I've only ever ridden a pretend-old triumphs.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 8:26, archived)

Tried one myself. Nearly killed myself a couple of times. Gave it back

( mongychops, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 8:28, archived)

good morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 8:08, archived)

Hello
bit cooler this morning
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 8:16, archived)

yup, looks to be good on the weekend though, 29 on Sunday

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 8:25, archived)

I cannae cope with that level of heat, I'll be cowering indoors :'(

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 10 Jun 2021, 9:38, archived)

not me, love it
Tandoori chicken and paneer tikka on the bbq is the plan, washed down with nommy lager
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 10:26, archived)

Me either
If it goes over 15 degrees, all the windows get opened, and the fans get put on
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 10:29, archived)

I'm going to try and not do a repeat of two years ago
when I spent the first nice weekend outdoors for the full two days and got a mild to medium case of sunstroke
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 11:01, archived)

hiya lol

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 10 Jun 2021, 8:37, archived)

very lol

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 9:10, archived)

Oh who cares

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 8:54, archived)

Stop being so French

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 9:10, archived)

*smokes gitanes*

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 10:08, archived)

HELLO

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 9:02, archived)

NICE CAPS

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 9:10, archived)

THANKS

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 9:11, archived)

What's the deal with lip fillers, eh? All young women want to look like ducks now, right?
Try the veal. Morning.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 9:13, archived)

I don't know
but part of me would like antlers.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 9:47, archived)

Gives you something to hang onto, right lads?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 10:09, archived)

I was thinking of how much fun it would be
at Christmas, tinsel and baubles and stuff.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 10:15, archived)

^ as gay as Christmas

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 10 Jun 2021, 10:37, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 9:24, archived)

Hi de ho

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 9:48, archived)

Please try to grow up. You lot act like stupid kids.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 16:53, archived)

I suppose I shouldn't give the satisfaction
but this is the last time I will ever visit this site.

So long B3ta, thanks for the laughs.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Jun 2021, 16:58, archived)

just change your name
some people need a fresh start in life
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 18:12, archived)

i fucking wish

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 21:44, archived)

being an adult fucking sucks
nobody in their right minds would want to grow up if they knew what it involved. the only good things about it are sex, drugs, alcohol and the ability to eat ice cream for breakfast without anyone stopping you
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 17:08, archived)

what are the downsides?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Jun 2021, 17:16, archived)

bills, work, crippling anxiety, houseork
not being allowed to tell people in the supermarket they smell of poo, having to do everything for yourself and the unshakeable, nagging feeling that you're making this all up as you go along
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 17:20, archived)

Parklife!

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 17:22, archived)

I'm doing everything for myself rniykwim

(dribble, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 17:29, archived)

ibyaydob

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 17:35, archived)

alright 'sisters'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 18:00, archived)

I have issues with people who claim anxiety and do drink and drugs, no offence

( mongychops, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 18:24, archived)

Not having drugs in the house makes me anxious

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 10 Jun 2021, 7:49, archived)

Fucking
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 10 Jun 2021, 1:01, archived)

Not fiving it
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 10 Jun 2021, 1:02, archived)

Ffs, I thought I had a friend on here but apparently it was just me somehow.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 10 Jun 2021, 1:06, archived)

I smell shit, I smell poo, who did it, was it you?

( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 17:09, archived)

yes

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Jun 2021, 17:16, archived)

^ is that online internet harassment?

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 17:15, archived)

^ is that online internet harassment?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 17:45, archived)

^ is that online internet harassment?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 18:02, archived)

This is dumb, even for your Talk/efforts.
Show some respect to those who still have some time and love this place. If you don't like it then stop whining and feck off and leave us alone from your childish pranks.
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 20:31, archived)

^ is that online internet harassment?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 12:31, archived)

k, gazzing the mods about this

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 12:33, archived)

I'm gazzing the mods about YOU, MATE

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 12:34, archived)

YEAH

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 12:43, archived)

alright, "Trading Places"

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 12:45, archived)

^Barry White looking motherfucker

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 16:34, archived)

:D

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 18:01, archived)

hey come on

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 13:44, archived)

Sorry, I just get so fucking mad sometimes, y'know?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 14:30, archived)

^ is this some kind of bust?

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 12:35, archived)

it's very impressive, yes

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 12:46, archived)

you sayin ah've got nowt?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Jun 2021, 12:55, archived)

you really are the Alan Partridge of b3ta

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 14:03, archived)

hey that's not fair m8
Alan Partridge was actually entertaining at one point
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 14:06, archived)

was he? I must have forgotten that bit

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 14:14, archived)

series 2 of IAP is a comedy classic

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Jun 2021, 15:10, archived)

I'll take that as a compliment EVEN THOUGH YOU MEANT IT AS A DEEPLY HURTFUL INSULT

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Jun 2021, 14:19, archived)

"b3ta talk"?
Yes. Yes, it is.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 13:23, archived)

gud lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 13:24, archived)

where *is* deeveedeefever when you need him, eh?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 9 Jun 2021, 13:28, archived)

In the park, slut-shaming pigeons

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 15:18, archived)

we had to stop 'cause it got dark

(dribble, Wed 9 Jun 2021, 17:03, archived)