Pushing that camel knobber down the board

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 13:41, archived)

^ camel knobber prodder

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 13:45, archived)

At your service

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 14:22, archived)

Turtle power.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 14:26, archived)

I don't like this new version of Snakes & Ladders.
Is it woke? It's probably woke.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 13:46, archived)

Snakes and Ladettes

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 13:54, archived)

Snakes and Ladas

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 14:22, archived)

Snakes & Snakes
Some snakes go up, some snakes go down. There are no ladders, because that would be ableist.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 14:31, archived)

That would just be snakes on a plain

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 14:39, archived)

transitional lizards

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 14:36, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8374706
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 15:39, archived)

afternoon gizzards

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 16:37, archived)

legs on a snake

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 16:58, archived)

Fakes and spanners.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 14:57, archived)

You fucking stupid fucking cunt

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 21 Jun 2023, 13:57, archived)

And proud of it

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 14:23, archived)

not really working out for you is it

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 14:39, archived)

Life, you mean

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 14:52, archived)

I'd rather have a slice of toast.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 21 Jun 2023, 14:56, archived)

👻

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 14:59, archived)

toast bumsex
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 21 Jun 2023, 16:10, archived)

than a slice of life? Life without toast might not be great, but toast without life is no good for anyone.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 16:11, archived)

Take, this lifeless toast, and learn to fry again

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 16:12, archived)

Bad idea
He'll eventually associate being pushed down the board with the pleasure he gets from knobbing camels, and will look forward to it. You'll create a fetish.
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 14:32, archived)

I don't think that's how fetishism works
If I constantly told him, no, Timothy, we don't talk about camel knobbing and your curiosity must never be sated, then we'd be in business.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 14:52, archived)

Pavlovian response, then

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 15:59, archived)

DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 16:15, archived)

Afternoon

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 21 Jun 2023, 12:33, archived)

afternooning

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 12:35, archived)

12.56
Jive Bunny mix
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 12:56, archived)

I hope there's a gender fluid toilet on that submarine

( $$ ✅, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 13:01, archived)

Ringo shut up, carry on with that octopus nonsense

( mongychops, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 13:04, archived)

lol

( $$ ✅, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 13:21, archived)

Has no one considered taking oxygen out of the surrounding water, using science

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 13:10, archived)

If the air lasted forever
before long they'd have to start agonising over whether to eat whoever dies first
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 13:15, archived)

It'd be tidiest, I mean it sounds like you can't just put them outside the door

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 13:19, archived)

i'd pop the door open and swim to the top like an hero

( $$ ✅, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 13:22, archived)

You'd need to hold your breath for a few hours
Baby's got the bends, oh no
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 13:27, archived)

I feel bad for laughing at this

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 13:35, archived)

I wanna live and breathe :(

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 13:50, archived)

^ Packt Like Sardines in a Crushd Tin Box

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 14:27, archived)

and doesn't afraid of anything

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 13:48, archived)

Morning submariners
Silly sods eh?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 7:56, archived)

morning, classic Ministry on here

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 21 Jun 2023, 8:10, archived)

Ministry Club Anthems 2004, nice choice!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 8:37, archived)

Fuck you

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 8:41, archived)

Sorry, I meant morning Queeferinho, how's the allotment?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 8:45, archived)

Allotments are for cool people
FACT!
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 9:00, archived)

Hullo m8
Mrs arrived back from Aus this morning, bearing a litre of Hennessy VSOP. She apologised for it not being the XO. As she should, bloody cheek of it
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 9:28, archived)

I hope you gave her the appropriate treatment
By which I mean a 3 course meal and a massage
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 9:37, archived)

Oh shit, no I didn't

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 10:12, archived)

Is the 'XO' what your face looked like when you saw the VSOP?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 21 Jun 2023, 9:48, archived)

heh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 10:12, archived)

Yeah, well
Could have been Three Barrels plastic bottle screw top cooking liquor so shut up.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 10:17, archived)

no u

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 13:16, archived)

Man, I love Pete Tong!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 21 Jun 2023, 8:45, archived)

not as silly as this sod
b3ta.com/links/1605668
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 8:30, archived)

Slashlinks really are a load of creepy mentals, aren't they?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 21 Jun 2023, 8:33, archived)

I mean, glass houses and all that, but yes.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 8:34, archived)

What fucking stupid fucking cunt lives in a glass house though?
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 8:46, archived)

Tom Ato.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 8:47, archived)

Tomato Banton

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 8:57, archived)

I can't believe I didn't think of that first.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 8:57, archived)

You plum

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 8:58, archived)

We are all a bit of Plum tbh

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 9:01, archived)

um heap big klaxon, chiefy

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 9:06, archived)

unless your name is
PLUMSEX, TIMOTHY!
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 9:07, archived)

Definitely a low profile way of getting rid of someone. Happens all the time.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 9:23, archived)

Low profile?
It's been headline news for days, you fucking stupid fucking cunt.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 11:26, archived)

Like I care about a bunch of make a wish kids getting stuck in a tugboat. I'm more interested in what Phillip Schofield's been up to. Definitely hasn't been enough Schofield news lately.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 13:27, archived)

OK

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 13:45, archived)

That entire thread makes me want to delete my account

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 10:31, archived)

Seconded.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 11:12, archived)

You've forgotten the only rule on /links.
If you see a wall of text, for God's sake don't read it.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 11:19, archived)

Remember when people used to post funny videos on there?
Instead of spending hundreds of hours trying to show how they're better than everyone else
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 12:23, archived)

(Insert social media platform of choice here), I mean

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 12:24, archived)

They got themselves into that situation
I have no sympathy for them
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 9:24, archived)

see also: pricks who get stuck up Mt Snowdon in sneakers
Should be a £10k fine, wankers
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 9:30, archived)

Went to Scotland some years back with friends
They decided on Solstice morning to go up a Monro after no sleep shit loads of Bourbon and powder
Mountain rescue had to be called as the chopper couldn't position due to visibility
Mountain rescue were not pleased with the arseholes
Chopper lol
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 9:45, archived)

Serves them right for drinking bourbon, of all things, in Scotland.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 21 Jun 2023, 9:47, archived)

Well yeah

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 10:14, archived)

Definitely

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 9:45, archived)

Yeah, I've seen the fallout from that shit
when we did Snowdon we saw some scally chavs in trakkies and trainers, one must have had a helluva fall because he was receiving oramorph when we passed him. A rescue helicopter tried to get near but the fog was coming down so about an hour later when we were near the foot we were passed by a gang of rescue fellas with a stretcher. I mean, oral morphine is great but an hour of being rattled down a mountain with a broken limb is gonna be deeply traumatic for the stupid sod.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 11:29, archived)

It's 2023, where are the jetpacks and hovering cars?
FFS science, get a move on eh, stop growing human ears on mice and looking at suns we'll never be able to reach
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 12:27, archived)

Science! Fuck yeah!
Oh I've just lost my job to some dodgy ai
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 14:12, archived)

Keep on knocking me baby

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 12:32, archived)

Tapper's delight

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 12:33, archived)

She bangs

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 12:33, archived)

If I had a hammer

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 12:35, archived)

Hit the titan one more time

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 12:38, archived)

-m +touch

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 14:14, archived)

Smeg, cockcheese, knobfarts

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 20 Jun 2023, 13:18, archived)

Is there a kosher option?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 13:23, archived)

Zyklon-B

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 20 Jun 2023, 13:29, archived)

^edgier than U2's guitarist

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 20 Jun 2023, 13:43, archived)

Worst of all the Spice Girls

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 14:04, archived)

Zyk-a-Zyk-ah

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 15:27, archived)

I really really really wanna normal sized head.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 15:36, archived)

haha I love Joel Veitch

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 23:59, archived)

I suppose somebody has to

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 8:09, archived)

Pork
Duh
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 13:54, archived)

I suppose so

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 13:50, archived)

Shove a nutmeg grater down your japper

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 14:03, archived)

Stick a deckchair up your nose

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 14:20, archived)

These days, if you say girly curly hair

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 14:23, archived)

Ministry recording new versions of With Sympathy tracks y/n

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 20 Jun 2023, 14:39, archived)

Depends what they do with it

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 14:41, archived)

Prolly making it industrial metal innit

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 20 Jun 2023, 14:44, archived)

I hope its tungsten carbide

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 15:01, archived)

What tha buddy hells that?

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 21:48, archived)

N then
80s industrial is interesting in it is own right, modernise it, lose the minimal/synth aesthetic and it will sound like a generic tribute act

See also Sascha K performing early material now, tedious and awful
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 15:08, archived)

You'll like this next one, if you can figure out what it is supposed to be
It wasn't me singing on the original and every other band member has since fucked off
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 15:13, archived)

Almost exactly the same as RevCo, fancy that
Utter wanker pisses off everyone he works with
Except that Al didn't rope in a Yoko to speed up the process
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 15:26, archived)

I think crack did it

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 16:21, archived)

Al only did crack to take the edge off the heroin, meth and PCP.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 20 Jun 2023, 18:33, archived)

That's a good point.
Speaking of which, how did I only hear this for the first time a few weeks ago?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmxFwHwnHzc&ab_channel=DejaNostalgia

fucking great stuff
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 20 Jun 2023, 15:22, archived)

Obscure-ish side projects often do turn out to be really good
Keep meaning to listen to more Delerium
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 15:32, archived)

No Name, No Slogan by Acid Horse is one of my all-time favourite tunes by any artist in any genre.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 20 Jun 2023, 15:37, archived)

Yesss

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 15:51, archived)

I wonder how they got thought of to create the Robocop club music

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 15:55, archived)

It was a genius choice.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 20 Jun 2023, 16:05, archived)

Wtf are you nutter banging on about? I'm going to bed with my wordserch

( mongychops, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 20:55, archived)

This is serium?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 0:04, archived)

just the one knobfart, please

( $$ ✅, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 16:23, archived)

Go on, have another one, you deserve it.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 20 Jun 2023, 16:24, archived)

I don't want any of that Roman rubbish. Why don't you sell proper food?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 23:54, archived)

Just been quoted £550 to fix the brakes on my crappy old Honda Civic
fuck that. Gonna go at it with some WD40 and a hammer because penetrating oil+brakes=LOL!

What doesn't add up for you?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 10:48, archived)

Can't you just get the supermodel to pay?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 11:14, archived)

+ in Class A drugs, presumably.
Sorry, of course I mean MASSIVE DRUGS
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 11:17, archived)

you cannot write "MASSIVE" without
"ASS" lol
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 12:18, archived)

And you can't say 'speakertube' without saying 'Pikachu.'

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 20 Jun 2023, 12:22, archived)

And you can't say fizzy water without singing it like dizzy rascal immediately afterwards.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 13:12, archived)

I don't think I've ever done that, and I don't think I'm going to start now even after reading this post.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 13:24, archived)

A sensible policy.

(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 13:44, archived)

What's the class that's better than A? I want some of those.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 12:41, archived)

A Star

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 12:48, archived)

Why are drugs so fucking shit?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 13:15, archived)

^can't get good drugs

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 20 Jun 2023, 13:19, archived)

lol

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 20:40, archived)

lol

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 13:57, archived)

You've spent too much time handing out bad ones to people who have gone wrong, it's affected your judgement

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 20:49, archived)

Are you sure? What about A star star?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 20:41, archived)

What about if there's a skull and crossbones on the baggie?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 20:42, archived)

Your dealer is Wednesday Addams

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 21:08, archived)

They're all called Bud Tender. I go to a shop now Smash, weed-seller is a low-wage retail position.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 3:26, archived)

Sounds a bit 'woke' to me, it'll probably turn you gay

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 8:11, archived)

Let me set your mind at rest -- as ever, at the end of the chain are a few very rich individuals, happily getting much richer.
For instance, almost all dispensaries here stock the same few brands, and almost all of those brands share noticeable similarities. So it looks to me like someone's already got the supply to the whole State pretty much sewn up. It's worth literally billions of dollars.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 21 Jun 2023, 19:22, archived)

My phone
The calculator doesn't work
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 11:20, archived)

Damn you

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 11:21, archived)

Too slow, chicken marengo

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 12:06, archived)

That’s made me hungry now

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 12:13, archived)

Today's fish is trout à la crème

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 12:57, archived)

Enjoy your meal

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 12:59, archived)

I will!

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 13:18, archived)

A broken calculator

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 11:21, archived)

YOU FUCKING STUPID FUCKING CUNT

(sticklebricks, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 11:59, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8374018
( Cheers Cheers, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 12:14, archived)

Sorry mate, I'm not really into Space Marines.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 20 Jun 2023, 12:21, archived)

I bet you are really.

(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 13:14, archived)

SSSHHHH!!!!!!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 20 Jun 2023, 13:19, archived)

Space Marines made me quit google.
Long story short: if you're buying something cringe, use cash.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 14:07, archived)

Targeted advertising lols

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 14:26, archived)

The quit Scars? Or the quit Lords? Or possibly the Imperial quits?
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 22:19, archived)

MOD EDIT: morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 20 Jun 2023, 6:14, archived)

GUNT EDIT: KNOBSHIT

morning, I mean
( Cheers Cheers, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 7:45, archived)

Shit up a barn wall

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 7:50, archived)

just an unpoliticized and unsexualised morning here

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 8:04, archived)

Alright Marvin, your 80s tracks were better tbh

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 9:54, archived)

What kind of freak buys ice cream in the rain at 10am?
A: Germans
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 10:05, archived)

Thunderstorms they will defy, their 99 cones won't be very dry

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 10:26, archived)

I hate you all.
I just wanted you to know that.
( MiseryCunt, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 21:01, archived)

You don't

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 21:37, archived)

oh ok. good.

( MiseryCunt, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 22:31, archived)

Oh thank fuck
Not knowing was the worst
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 21:49, archived)

Like with Gandalf's balls

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 21:59, archived)

I can send you all a picture if you're really that interested

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 22:01, archived)

Alright anthonyb3ta7100

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 22:04, archived)

A complete unknalls

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 22:32, archived)

I liked when Gandalf lit the biggest firework and it made a bollocks

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 3:02, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 7:51, archived)

<s>it</s> Trigger

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 11:31, archived)

GOOD EVENING

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 19:01, archived)

Good evening.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 19 Jun 2023, 19:02, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 19:06, archived)

BUMSEX, TIMOTHY!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 19 Jun 2023, 19:08, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fmeb-f4pthA
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 19:36, archived)

What do you mean?
Do you want to wish me a good evening, or are you saying that this is an evening on which to be good? Or are you saying that you feel good on this particular evening?
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 19:37, archived)

Calm down, Gandalf, you crotchety old cunt.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 19 Jun 2023, 19:55, archived)

Don't you try to out-wizard me, you great flouncy Maiar.

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 20:05, archived)

I'm the full wizard, not just the sleeve

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 20:44, archived)

How big were Gandalf's balls, do you reckon?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 20:52, archived)

Imagine the size of his neck

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 20:53, archived)

neck sounds galadriel

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 0:18, archived)

I'm going to carry your ring off, because I don't like your ring.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 0:20, archived)

I turn into a flock of crows and fly away when attacked. If you hit me, it's murder.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 11:21, archived)

Given that wizards are usually celibate
In literature, at least, I'd say fucking huge
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 21:02, archived)

celibate doesn't mean they weren't tugging away like chimps thw whole time

(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 9:04, archived)

Glandoff

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 20 Jun 2023, 10:47, archived)

Q. Who wrote from experience about racism in the Deep South of Valinor?
A. Maia Angelou!
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 19 Jun 2023, 22:07, archived)

Afternoon shitcunt's

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 13:29, archived)

Yo

( mongychops, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 13:54, archived)

Yo

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 14:07, archived)

Ma

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 14:42, archived)

Ma

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 15:45, archived)

‘sup

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 13:57, archived)

Chillin

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 14:08, archived)

Afternoon

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 14:30, archived)

Yo

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 14:42, archived)

Hi

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 19 Jun 2023, 14:41, archived)

That Canada shitpipe action was a bit tepid really

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 14:42, archived)

It was never that funny to begin with.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 19 Jun 2023, 14:46, archived)

 
(Runcorn shitty limits, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 14:56, archived)

arseboon dilbaro

(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 14:58, archived)

Cheers

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 15:00, archived)

You fucking stupid fucking cunt

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 19 Jun 2023, 15:52, archived)

alright

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 16:10, archived)

and shitcuntettes'

( $$ ✅, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 16:41, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 19 Jun 2023, 6:43, archived)

HOT CANADA SHITPIPE ACTION

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 7:29, archived)

MINE

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 19 Jun 2023, 7:51, archived)

Are you a Canadeen?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 8:09, archived)

what are you on aboot?

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 8:26, archived)

Eh?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 19 Jun 2023, 8:43, archived)

🔥🇨🇦💩🪈🎬

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 8:54, archived)

Fire flag shit board.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 9:17, archived)

Everybody talk about pop musoard

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 9:18, archived)

That's the way we like to Ford

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 9:34, archived)

No frills, handy for the hills

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 9:55, archived)

Range Rover in sumptuous deep-blue, with cream leather seats

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 11:00, archived)

you ever just want to just straight up fuck a car?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 13:02, archived)

4dam did

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 13:08, archived)

you fuck one car,

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 16:27, archived)

Hot maple shitty stick film

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 11:35, archived)

moserzz

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 12:41, archived)

RIP

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 13:08, archived)

Fucking, shitty commiserations

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 14:25, archived)

pbs.twimg.com/media/FwbONt_WYAAjJhW?format=jpg&name=small
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 11:54, archived)

No love involved, they are strictly about the action

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 12:06, archived)

disgusting

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 13:03, archived)

Lust's just a distraction

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 13:17, archived)

So is munging

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 13:24, archived)

Jungle and mungle

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 13:32, archived)

And Bungle

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 13:50, archived)

And my axe

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 13:50, archived)

Ben's Original Sweet & Sauron 675g

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 13:54, archived)

Sauron's Eye's Cream

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 14:27, archived)

Bilboberry

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 14:29, archived)

Frodozen yogurt

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 14:54, archived)

LemonedoesnotsimplywalkintoMordor sorbet

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 14:55, archived)

Golden Wondoesnotsimplywalkintomordor

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 15:15, archived)

IbelieveinmeIbelieveinyouandyouknowIbelieveinlove

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 14:10, archived)

*UTAH SAINTS KLAXON*

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 14:13, archived)

I was having a quiet pint with the wife, see,
this chap comes in, like a lunatic
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 15:32, archived)

And starts moving all the bins around

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 15:36, archived)

Don't forget to take your aggressions out

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 16:26, archived)

I like this!

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 21:08, archived)

So long as he stayed
about from them.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 17:28, archived)

10 years ago, wow
b3ta.com/questions/ignoredadvice/post1786596
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 17:46, archived)

Vintage b3ta from a bygone era.

*wipes tear
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 18:39, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 23:26, archived)

Bollocks

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 23:43, archived)

Sometimes cats silently mouth a meow without vocalizing at all

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 0:08, archived)

Bollocks

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 0:55, archived)

^ can read pussy lips

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 2:26, archived)

What's your favorite 500th repost on /board?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 2:42, archived)

Jacob Dyer, 100%.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 9:18, archived)

I didn't like it

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 9:56, archived)

How's your neck?
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 10:32, archived)

Brass

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 13:09, archived)

cheek and brass neck mean the same thing

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 16:29, archived)

and front, and balls, and bollocks!, and nerve

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 19 Jun 2023, 16:30, archived)

Alright?
How are all you fathers doing?
(Planearm, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 16:06, archived)

Wishing we had "pulled out"

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Sun 18 Jun 2023, 16:12, archived)

How would “pulling out” of our kids have made today any…
…oooooh
(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 16:32, archived)

FUCK OFF YOU CREEPY FUCKING RETARD

(sticklebricks, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 16:39, archived)

You stupid fucking cunt. Go Fuck yourself you miserable fucking spastic

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 17:13, archived)

We're all agreed that you peaked yesterday,
it's all downhill from here so you should probably just retire from b3ta now.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 18:09, archived)

b3ta life
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 18 Jun 2023, 20:39, archived)

+ delete your account first

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 21:49, archived)

If you were 2 inches deep etc

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 18 Jun 2023, 16:50, archived)

Please could you wriggle down another 70

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 20:24, archived)

but you're not

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 23:56, archived)

Is that blonde bird with the great legs in that Tory HQ video?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 18 Jun 2023, 17:40, archived)

Margaret Thatcher?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 18 Jun 2023, 20:40, archived)

Truss you sick bastard

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 20:52, archived)

/links is over there mate ----->

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 18 Jun 2023, 21:49, archived)

Boris?

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 20:54, archived)

Om?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 18 Jun 2023, 20:56, archived)

I'm not a father

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 17:56, archived)

Lies.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 18 Jun 2023, 18:00, archived)

Mummy!

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 18:32, archived)

These days, if you say only males can be fathers

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 20:09, archived)

You get sent to prison and made into a 'mummy'.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 18 Jun 2023, 20:41, archived)

And by prison you mean Egypt

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 20:48, archived)

Bandages, deserts, sarcophagi, mummification, harassment

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 20:54, archived)

assment rods
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 18 Jun 2023, 20:58, archived)

I think you mean 'How's your father'- YDOB

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 18:31, archived)

IBHD TDOB

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 23:40, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 18 Jun 2023, 7:40, archived)

don't lie.

( MiseryCunt, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 8:18, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 8:29, archived)

morning bumsex

( broadsword now that's fresh, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 10:03, archived)

hahaha, yes!

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 10:08, archived)

G'day as Ian a.k.a. “Professor Shoelace” would say

( $$ ✅, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 10:52, archived)

Morning, I’m gonna party like it’s 2020 at Downing Street

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 10:58, archived)

dreadful

(Smug Bastard LOL, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 14:18, archived)

  
(Runcorn shitty limits, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 15:48, archived)

Bugger this!
It's bed time!

*lays out plastic sheets*
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 22:20, archived)

What time do the children arrive?

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 22:35, archived)

Jesus...
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 22:43, archived)

No, no kids
- not since the Event
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 22:53, archived)

No! Do not talk or think about the event!
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 10:05, archived)

And as always, remain indoors.

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 10:22, archived)

DEAR DEIDRE Mum of my child led me on with sex and then ditched me – Father’s Day is ruined

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 23:46, archived)

While you were partying I studied the Tier 2 Restrictions.

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 0:50, archived)

As Tiers Go By

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 0:53, archived)

all these restrictions will be lost, like tiers in rain

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 0:57, archived)

My favorite tier is Ian, from Ian's Knot Site.
A poem:
I learned then forgot
The 'Ian Quick Knot'
I might learn it again
Like I did back then
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 0:59, archived)

One day a video clip did emerge, staff of Shaun Bailey's campaign
Laughing and shouting, the rules they were flouting, those wicked Conservative junior staff
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 9:49, archived)

Afternoon.
I'm in an old people's home visiting the MIL. Lunch was a section of sausage roll with gravy, 3 boiled potatoes and tinned carrots.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 14:30, archived)

On the menu it was referred to as a 'meat plait'.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 14:31, archived)

You fucking stupid fucking cunt

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 17 Jun 2023, 14:33, archived)

Standard.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 14:38, archived)

you, you mean

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 14:43, archived)

You're not supposed to eat their lunch, they're paying about £1000 a week for that shit.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 15:08, archived)

The food really is shit, christ knows what the profit margins are.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 15:16, archived)

They're upsetting places aren't they.
Assisted suicide is legal here now, guns are very easy to get, I consider those better options.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 15:12, archived)

Would rather drink myself to death if this was the prospect frankly.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 15:15, archived)

I nearly did, not sure I'd recommend it

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 15:58, archived)

Fair enough. How much did you drink?
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 16:29, archived)

Not fucking enough.

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 16:31, archived)

Funniest thing you've ever posted

( mongychops, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 18:26, archived)

agreed, it's a low bar though

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 19:46, archived)

Agreed

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 20:38, archived)

He drank himself to dea

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 21:11, archived)

Alco Hola

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 21:16, archived)

Please stop wishing death on people

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 17:29, archived)

yeah, that's brb's job

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 19:45, archived)

God I hate bandwagoners

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 18 Jun 2023, 16:26, archived)

I worked in one for a year. Fucking terrifying places.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 17 Jun 2023, 18:43, archived)

strikey wanked

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 19:45, archived)

Those places smell of cabbage and piss

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 15:18, archived)

Smell's not too bad here. It's a care home where everyone gets basically a little flat rather than a room. Still incredibly depressing.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 15:28, archived)

No boiled goose?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 15:57, archived)

+F

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 16:30, archived)

FUCK OFF RETARD

(sticklebricks, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 16:36, archived)

Spunky

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 16:59, archived)

Second funniest thing you've ever posted

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 20:39, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 17 Jun 2023, 7:05, archived)

Bumsex? Timothy!

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 7:22, archived)

Disgusting.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 17 Jun 2023, 7:24, archived)

Timothy lol

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 7:27, archived)

You not dead yet?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 7:27, archived)

That's the Runcorn Retard surely?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 7:59, archived)

Spanish Levi Bellfield?
PAEDO POWER!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 17 Jun 2023, 8:14, archived)

He is Englands, fattest, murdering nonce.

Levi Bellfield, paedo power.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 8:49, archived)

I googled Levi Bellfield and now I wish I hadn't

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 8:52, archived)

Yep, we're haha cunts here but there's cunts and there's cunts

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 11:53, archived)

Bollocks to your morning, yeah?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 8:11, archived)

Saturday, Saturday, saturday

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 8:57, archived)

it sure is, 2CC
it's also 10:03 (CET), have you already done a wee?
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 9:03, archived)

19 of 9, Woodkovsky poetry time!

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 9:19, archived)

Is that really the time? Does each line have to
closely match the sound and phrasing of the last word in a previous sentence?
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 13:41, archived)

Jeri Ryan's 12th understudy was never called up

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 15:00, archived)

I googled that person. My verdict is: gums.
.
The Daily Star says,

If Voyager had opened to better ratings, Jeri may never have been hired as Seven of Nine.

If Jeri had never played Seven of Nine, Jack Ryan’s divorce may not have attracted so much press interest.

Without that press interest, someone else – maybe Jack Ryan himself – would have been inaugurated as the 44th US president in 2009.
.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 15:15, archived)

Hang Mike Pence
morning, I mean
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 10:09, archived)

Hang Gareth Hale

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 17 Jun 2023, 10:20, archived)

I've got about 2hrs too many records out for l8r
Need to have a cull
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 10:52, archived)

Start with the Runcorn Retard

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 11:35, archived)

Hang the disc jockey

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 11:41, archived)

How long is your set meant to be?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 17 Jun 2023, 12:21, archived)

He claims it's about 6 inches

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 12:37, archived)

1.5hrs

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 12:43, archived)

So take 2.5 hours worth of records innit

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 17 Jun 2023, 13:27, archived)

That's more than 6 inches tho, what is wrong with you?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 13:36, archived)

Queef loves a black 7 inch.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 17 Jun 2023, 13:38, archived)

Pænus you mean? So fucking what?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 13:42, archived)

I'm starting to think you are not all the about the bumsex at all, at all.
all³
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 13:43, archived)

The sequel to all and alls

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 14:05, archived)

+with
Gotta Love Mike! Not in a godless unnatural gay way which damns souls to eternal torment though you understand.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 15:26, archived)

Charles Rex Windsor, weird middle name, haha is he a dinosaur or something

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 13:21, archived)

Something about Liz giving the corgi a bone

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 13:24, archived)

Terrible Lizhard

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 13:27, archived)

It means "Harrison", whereas in fact Harry is not his son

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 13:37, archived)

Sounds more like Harry is his dad!

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 14:04, archived)

Those disgusting lizards
(then you say...)
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 14:12, archived)

b3ta.com/search/talk?q=b3ta%2C+you+mean
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 15:06, archived)

I've got a fan.

(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 0:17, archived)

I suspect at some point an hilarious + will be added to our/your post. Qftw are always funny lads

( mongychops, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 0:46, archived)

congratulations on having a fan, well done you 👍🏻

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 1:18, archived)

-hav +be +ny

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 2:46, archived)

This was the kind of unconditional support I was looking for.

Cheers mofaha.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 8:41, archived)

I think I may have fucked something up here

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 11:54, archived)

Too late, no backsies.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 14:14, archived)

-f +m

( MiseryCunt, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 5:48, archived)

but you're not a fanny
not
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 6:48, archived)

So have I
They're great
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 9:58, archived)

If it's a Dyson then I'll think you're a twat.

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 16:27, archived)

Your mother's mum's wank cunt shit bollocks fuck a horse slasher cunt twat fucking shitcunt bollocks?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 22:39, archived)

Ok, you first though.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 16 Jun 2023, 22:40, archived)

Oh, I'm quite sated

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 22:42, archived)

Fuck off retard

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 22:40, archived)

You illiterate fucking bastard
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 22:42, archived)

You really are a despicable prick with no redeeming features
You sad sack phyiscally repulsive Levi Bellfield lookalike monobrow paedophile.

No offence.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 16 Jun 2023, 22:51, archived)

+ delete your account +kill yourself

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 22:55, archived)

Hahahaha you fucking Wanker

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 23:36, archived)

he says prick, then you say wanker, it's oddly familiar

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 1:25, archived)

she fell down the stairs and had a stroke and died you insensitive bastard

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 23:01, archived)

A couple of strokes at least

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 23:08, archived)

+vinegar

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 23:10, archived)

One of my early ones, a seagull called Dave, was stolen but later recovered by the police. Then someone later ripped his head off, so I crocheted a new one.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 23:09, archived)

BORING

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 23:27, archived)

then it exploded?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 17 Jun 2023, 1:26, archived)

4/7 "Not everyone is meant to Arseboon Dilbaro."
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-65915658
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 16:03, archived)

arseboon dilbaro

(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 16:11, archived)

2/7 Didn't bother reading and pressed option 1 every time

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 16:14, archived)

Sooner or later this will work

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 16:15, archived)

2/7 by pressing 2 every time. Looks like 3 is the good one this news cycle.
(Oooh_cuntroversial Where have I been?, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 16:37, archived)

It always works

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 18:28, archived)

7/7 "I'm as shocked as everyone else"

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 16:40, archived)

"If you expect disappointment, then you'll never get disappointed"

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 16:43, archived)

Woah

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 18:40, archived)

This is genuinely what it says if you score 2 or less, which I achieved

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 18:55, archived)

7/7 RUNCORN
Fuck off
(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 16:47, archived)

TD;FU

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 17:00, archived)

4/7 miscegenation hilarity

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 16 Jun 2023, 17:16, archived)

Up on the roof of Westminster Palace a naked ex-PM smears himself with jam.  One final pleasure in the abject misery of his self-knowledge.

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 18:21, archived)

Lemon turd

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 18:32, archived)

Goosecookedandburied jam

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 18:34, archived)

Nodignityto preserve

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 18:36, archived)

Bullshit spread

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 18:37, archived)

It's called Bovril

( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 19:53, archived)

Bovril is a drink
You're thinking of Marmite
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 20:23, archived)

Bovril is only a drink if you drink it

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 21:25, archived)

I do

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 22:01, archived)

You mustn't

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 23:11, archived)

Bullocks

( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 21:55, archived)

4/7

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 18:45, archived)

12/7
I am above the law
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 16 Jun 2023, 21:14, archived)