compo iti.guim.co.uk/img/media/e6eb1b500e9cc6e837dd47d4a744044e629905e0/0_30_7425_4457/master/7425.jpg?width=700&dpr=1&s=none
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 21 Aug 2023, 11:43,
archived)
Posting a picture? STOP!.
────(♥)(♥)(♥)────(♥)(♥)(♥) __ ɪƒ ƴσυ'ʀє αʟσηє,
──(♥)██████(♥)(♥)██████(♥) ɪ'ʟʟ ɓє ƴσυʀ ѕɧα∂σѡ.
─(♥)████████(♥)████████(♥) ɪƒ ƴσυ ѡαηт тσ cʀƴ,
─(♥)██████████████████(♥) ɪ'ʟʟ ɓє ƴσυʀ ѕɧσυʟ∂єʀ.
──(♥)████████████████(♥) ɪƒ ƴσυ ѡαηт α ɧυɢ,
────(♥)████████████(♥) __ ɪ'ʟʟ ɓє ƴσυʀ ρɪʟʟσѡ.
──────(♥)████████(♥) ɪƒ ƴσυ ηєє∂ тσ ɓє ɧαρρƴ,
────────(♥)████(♥) __ ɪ'ʟʟ ɓє ƴσυʀ ѕɱɪʟє.
─────────(♥)██(♥) ɓυт αηƴтɪɱє ƴσυ ηєє∂ α ƒʀɪєη∂,
───────────(♥) __ ɪ'ʟʟ ʝυѕт shit a biscuit.
.
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 22:34,
archived)
i've set three trapsif i haven't caught the crap out of the creature by breakfast tomorrow i'm burning the house down
(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 22:58,
archived)
Piss on you. I work for Mel Brooks.
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 23:09,
archived)
shove a badger up your willy(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 23:55,
archived)
Do we have those here? I honestly don't know. "The American badger (Taxidea taxus)[n 1] is a North American badger similar in appearance to the European badger, although not closely related."
They don't live around here though. We do have opossums and raccoons?
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 23:56,
archived)
yeah there are loads of pricks heresurely you've noticed
(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 23:58,
archived)
I've added some more detail to my reply above. Have a read! Super!(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 21 Aug 2023, 0:00,
archived)
i'll post you the angriest one i can locate(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 21 Aug 2023, 0:53,
archived)
If you can shit dog biscuitsyou'd be a formidable addition to my business plans.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 22:51,
archived)
What if he shits shit dog biscuits?(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 23:14,
archived)
They're still in testing, we don't know yet. They don't look very nice. (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 23:50,
archived)
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mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 23:22,
archived)
"if you're alone I'll be your shadow" sounds weird and it really makes no sense at all if you think about it, like why don't they have a shadow already, and in what way are shadows good company exactly(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 21 Aug 2023, 2:18,
archived)
"if you want to cry I'll be your shoulder".Not offering a shoulder to cry on, I'll be your actual shoulder. Part of your body.
(, Mon 21 Aug 2023, 8:13, archived)
Please stop being my shoulder, it's creepy and weird, I hate it.(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 21 Aug 2023, 11:41,
archived)
oh no you're my fucking smile now :) :) :) :)(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 21 Aug 2023, 11:45,
archived)
If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow.Non-sequitur much? Unless the only entity that'll give you a hug is an inanimate object, you fucking loser.
(, Mon 21 Aug 2023, 12:20, archived)
No, it's beautiful, listen, if you become so toxic that only inanimate objects can bear to be close to you, I WILL IMPERSONATE AN INANIMATE OBJECT FOR THAT PURPOSE(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 21 Aug 2023, 12:38,
archived)
I just had a lovely poo!Quite smelly though.
7.5/10
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 20:45,
archived)
If it's smelly, that rather stretches the definition of lovely (
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 21:11,
archived)
You're a bowel half empty kind of person, eh.(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 21:43,
archived)
Doing the very foulest farts They are horrible
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 21:30,
archived)
Yeah but do you look like David Frum or what?(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 21:44,
archived)
oh crickey the boss is here and i'm sʇᴉʇ ʎɯ ⅎⅎo pǝƃɹɐɥɔ
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 22:19,
archived)
_______ _______ ______ _______ _______ _______ _______ _______ _______ _______ _ _______ ______ _______ _ _ _ _ __ __
/ _____ \ \__ __\ .` _ ._| / ___ _| / .---. \ | ._ _. | | ___ | / ____ \ | _ ___| | _ ___| |_`.____ / ____ \ /_____ `. / ___ _| | /_____ | |___| | | /_____ .-. \ \ .`__/
| \ / | __| |__ \ \_||_ | \_/ \ | \ .-`_/ | \ v / | | '._.' | | /___/ | | ||_\ | ||_\ .` .___| | /___/ | _____\ | | \_/ \ | ______/ | ___ | | ______/ / _ \_\ | /_'-.
\_/ \_/ \_______\ `._____| `.__.`\_| \_/ |.` |_/ \_| '._____.' \_______/ |_/ |_/ |_.` \_______/ \______.` `.__.`\_| |_\ |_| |_| |_\ |_\`.___/ |_|
(_)
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 22:32,
archived)
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mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 20:28,
archived)
if you're not actively pooing nowthe likelihood of you having a poo later is, I would imagine, 100%
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 17:05,
archived)
Unless he dies first.Not wishing death on anyone, mind, may everyone have many more poos.
(, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 17:20, archived)
he could do an Elvis Special(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 17:21,
archived)
I could still poo while dead, but that may not fall under the (arguably arbitrary) category of active pooing.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 17:42,
archived)
World Cup final innit. It’s only the women. But you know. We Can all “get behind them”
(, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 9:38, archived)
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mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 11:56,
archived)
did you know there's such a thing as a Volcano Mouse?How interesting. I'll throat punch this furry fucking eruption into a volcano if it gives me the chance.
Right, i'm going to bed, then having a shower then going to bed again.
i'd like an alarm call please, and some toast.
(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 20:11,
archived)
assumed this was going to bewww.youtube.com/watch?v=ubMsnxHwRD8&ab_channel=krabbernegen
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 20:28,
archived)
No thanks, had a night on the mandy yesterday and need to recover. Kind offer, though.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 19 Aug 2023, 21:58,
archived)
my fav relevant tuneyoutu.be/mJQWr3Brdk8
(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 8:24,
archived)
You'll be on your owm! With no direction home! Like a complete ungnome! Just like a rolling stome!(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 22:09,
archived)
what if your name was╋╋╋┏┓╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋┏┓╋╋╋╋┏━┓┏━┓╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋┏┓╋┏┓
╋╋╋┃┃╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋┃┃╋╋╋╋┃┏┛┃┏┛╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋┏┛┗┳┛┗┓
┏━━┫┗━┳━━┳━┳━━┳━━┳━┛┃┏━━┳┛┗┳┛┗┓┏┓┏┳┓╋┏┓┗┓┏╋┓┏╋━━┓
┃┏━┫┏┓┃┏┓┃┏┫┏┓┃┃━┫┏┓┃┃┏┓┣┓┏┻┓┏┛┃┗┛┃┃╋┃┃╋┃┃┣┫┃┃━━┫
┃┗━┫┃┃┃┏┓┃┃┃┗┛┃┃━┫┗┛┃┃┗┛┃┃┃╋┃┃╋┃┃┃┃┗━┛┃╋┃┗┫┃┗╋━━┃
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╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋┏━┛┃╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋┏━┛┃
╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋┗━━┛╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋╋┗━━┛
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 22:34,
archived)
By the look of it I'd be waiting for the 22.38 to Piccadilly (
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 22:37,
archived)
rebranded──╔╗──────────╔╗──╔═╦═╗──────╔╗╔╦╗╔═╗
╔═╣╚╦═╗╔╦╦═╦═╦╝║╔═╣═╣═╣╔══╦╦╗║╚╬╣╚╣═╣
║═╣║║╬╚╣╔╣╬║╩╣╬║║╬║╔╣╔╝║║║║║║║╔╣║╔╬═║
╚═╩╩╩══╩╝╠╗╠═╩═╝╚═╩╝╚╝─╚╩╩╬╗║╚═╩╩═╩═╝
─────────╚═╝──────────────╚═╝
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 22:38,
archived)
ok so you have ticket inspectors so why not question inspectors, they can interrupt an evasive response and demand to see your answer(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 1:36,
archived)
I started answering that question at Stoke at 3PMAnd so an off peak reply is valid.
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 2:23,
archived)
long dark tunnels(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 8:40,
archived)
important and completely unintelligible public announcements(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 14:02,
archived)
fuck all of you well rested wankersi've been up all night charged off my tits trying to catch a mouse that has just moved into my gaff, and has chosen to nest in my office (and combined bedroom/bathroom/kitchen/dining area) and it has begun chewing the fuck out of important paperwork i have accumulated over the years which detail most of my many inventions, also my business ledgers and detailed diaries documenting all of my great adventures!
I've been stalking round the house armed with a torch and a fucking vacuum cleaner trying to give the cunt a damn good blowjob.
and now i'm over-tired, can't sleep, rambling bollocks and am obviously still living with a sneaky freeloading wanker.
i'm not actually queef's wife if that's where you thought that was going.
(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 17:05,
archived)
i think it's in the tumble dryer. because it definitely isn't anywhere fucking else.turning it on for a bit. max temp.
man 1 - mouse 0
It's pretty rare, but every once in a while the squirrel catches the dog.
(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 17:57,
archived)
To be clear, this is the mouse posting, right?(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 18:20,
archived)
that's the beauty of the internetyou'll never know
(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 18:23,
archived)
──╔╗──────────╔╗──╔═╦═╗──────╔╗╔╦╗╔═╗
╔═╣╚╦═╗╔╦╦═╦═╦╝║╔═╣═╣═╣╔══╦╦╗║╚╬╣╚╣═╣
║═╣║║╬╚╣╔╣╬║╩╣╬║║╬║╔╣╔╝║║║║║║║╔╣║╔╬═║
╚═╩╩╩══╩╝╠╗╠═╩═╝╚═╩╝╚╝─╚╩╩╬╗║╚═╩╩═╩═╝
─────────╚═╝──────────────╚═╝
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 22:36,
archived)
right. back to normal now. that's never happening again.(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sun 20 Aug 2023, 8:37,
archived)
i like a bit of old school drum and bass sumtimes thoit's not fair.
(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 18:30,
archived)
ah. mouse music. very good. i squeak what you did there.(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 19:05,
archived)
i didn't even mis-read what you said i'm just so wasted it took that long to think of a rodent related replystill bit shit. like i got all round the skirting boards and everywhere else cunto has been shitting.
(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 19:15,
archived)
Just set a trap Reece's peanut butter cups work great, apparently
(
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 18:43,
archived)
fuck i didn't think of doing that! thanks!as soon as i'm not charged off my tits and i've sobered up i was going to drive to the dole office and see if i could hire an unemployed pied fucking piper.
but yeah i'll just get a mouse trap! it seems so obvious now you've mentioned it
(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 19:00,
archived)
I think that pint of San Miguel has given me the shits(
Cheers Cheers, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 19:07,
archived)
well your liver basically does the shit making and when you drink alcohol you put stress on your liver because you're poisoning it.this makes it harder for the liver to do its job and can result in poorly formed stools. like ones from ikea.
(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 19:12,
archived)
#wherehasallthedriedupwhitedogpoogone?that's genuinely the first time i've ever used a hashtag. i feel like i've been raped. by myself.
(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 19:16,
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This one was like the chocolate river from Wonka’s factory (
Cheers Cheers, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 19:15,
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Full of annoying child actors trying not to upset Johnny Depp?(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 19:24,
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Copenhagen's third-most well known doom-sludge metal band?(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 19 Aug 2023, 20:41,
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a nice cold pinttasty? yes.
malty? yes.
cushty? no.
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MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 19:21,
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yeah fuck off i actually am stewart leeand queef's wife
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MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 19:23,
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don't think lagers are malty much actually mate(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 19:26,
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i bought some electric nipple warmers last monthand i've received my utilities bill.
so now the electrically charged nipple warmers are no longer attached to my tits
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MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 19:42,
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I'm awake I suspect that the day will go downhill from here.
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Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 9:02,
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Not usually But after total silence from the mental for the last 3 weeks, she decided to phone me yesterday and scream down the phone that I was threatening her and she was going to call the police on me.
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Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 9:28,
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Getting her sectioned would be better (
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 9:39,
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The little knobbit from the shire (
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 13:14,
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I didn't you fucking stupid fucking cunt (
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Aug 2023, 22:30,
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In a fifth book, Le Cinquième Livre (1564; of doubtful authenticity), the band arrives at the temple of the Holy Bottle, where the oracle answers Panurge with a single word:(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Aug 2023, 0:28,
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That's two words.I'd have thought you might have spotted that, what with by far the most intelligent person here.
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Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 19 Aug 2023, 2:41,
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For a second I read that as 'Flangestan', like it was the Land of Flange somewhere in central Asia.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 18 Aug 2023, 21:01,
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Sounds pretty sexy if you ask me. I wonder if EasyJet fly there?(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 18 Aug 2023, 21:07,
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3/7 a precursor to fluoropolymerswww.bbc.co.uk/news/world-66527368
Alt: Lucy Letby Y/N/O?
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brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 18 Aug 2023, 15:18,
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There's something really unattractive about child murderers, I find(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Aug 2023, 15:41,
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Reading between the linesit seems like she was repeatedly given the benefit of the doubt on the basis that she was quite fit.
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brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 18 Aug 2023, 15:48,
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Not so much now that they've found her guilty I reckon(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Aug 2023, 17:17,
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In vague terms it certainly does.See Attractiveness Bias, Physical Attractiveness Stereotype, etc.
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brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 18 Aug 2023, 17:41,
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I said this out loud and summoned satanThanks mr horrible
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Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Fri 18 Aug 2023, 10:16,
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Give War a chancethe album, not the activity
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Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Fri 18 Aug 2023, 12:43,
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What have you got against chocolates biscuits?You strange person
(, Fri 18 Aug 2023, 9:40, archived)
Congratulations, you have stripped this of all meaning and humour.And my axe.
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brb Monkhouse Stampede, Fri 18 Aug 2023, 15:24,
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It's meant to alliterate, you malformed bellend. (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 18 Aug 2023, 10:50,
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Penising a penguin for exampleOr titwanking a toasted something
(, Fri 18 Aug 2023, 11:11, archived)
alright Steve Irwin ?queef on a quokka
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Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Fri 18 Aug 2023, 12:52,
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Do you think he likes sauerkraut?(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 18 Aug 2023, 13:07,
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i think i speak for all of us when i say(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 18 Aug 2023, 0:11,
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i hope your holiday plane crashes into a shit igloo someone made out of firelighters you big gay spazbummer(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 18 Aug 2023, 0:35,
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ps. wank off a weasel(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 18 Aug 2023, 0:58,
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my best pal has terminal liver cancer as such I am drinking myself unconscious
It's what he would've wanted
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Aug 2023, 1:16,
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live and let livered(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 18 Aug 2023, 1:18,
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fuck an astronaut up the ass(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 18 Aug 2023, 1:16,
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Something something rocket to Uranus. (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 18 Aug 2023, 7:29,
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BollocksBut actually mufflers is good
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mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 12:41,
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DIEKILL ParKILLEDOFF, more like!b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2637371
(, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 12:32, archived)
b3ta.com/questions/imagechallenge/post2637090
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brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 18:54,
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Feel free to print it out and stick it to your fridge.(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 20:29,
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I'm sorry, the correct answer was "Carkinson"(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 14:56,
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The bits are there It just needs a little work. I'll come back to it tomorrow.
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$$ ✅, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 16:25,
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He invited me on to his show once to be interviewed about my amazing presence here on /talk (, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 16:38, archived)
"spanishfly, this is your life. Now kill yourself"(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 16:39,
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Wait was he the one who did it will be alright on the night?(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 22:22,
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Had his name been Michael Livecunt then yes(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 16:38,
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for teh newsletter:b3ta.com/questions/imsorryivewrittenajoke/post2637383
(, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 18:30, archived)
Do you have legs? Then cover them up with some British-made jeans.High quality, made to last, and ideal as a present for a MAN
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broadsword, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 18:50,
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Gunting that smeg down my japperHi tit's, what's going on around your town?
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 10:53,
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Dual carriageway was shut down yesterday Police everywhere. Young lad was on a motorbike, car clipped his rear wheel and he hit the side of the flyover and crashed over it and onto the road beneath. Pretty sure he's dead.
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Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 11:35,
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Yeah By the Lathom
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Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 13:06,
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Only 26, from what I heard (
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 14:38,
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Good thing the police were there when it happened(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 13:07,
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Dual carriageway was shut down the other day, some knobend landed a plane on it.Still at least they closed the airport for a bit so I got a break from the fuckers flying low over the surgery
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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 11:59,
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A brown family has moved into the village and it’s all kicking OFFNo dual carriageway closures though, soz
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Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 12:00,
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Turns out their skin is white but their surname is Brown, slippery slope though, you know?(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 12:02,
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According to some gammony twat in the local shop "we’re being overrun"(
Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 12:08,
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make your mind up m8, are they white, brown or slippery slopes?(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 15:44,
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Apologies everyone,my dual carriageway was closed for two days a couple of weeks ago but I didn't realise I was supposed to report it here.
(, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 12:27, archived)
Dueling banjos stuck in my head nowthanks.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 12:11,
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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 12:22,
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Don't even joke - it's happened....(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 13:41,
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It's A Level results daybit of a disaster as our MSc numbers have dropped off a cliff due to overseas students being put off by marking strikes.
So.... we've dropped the grade requirements for our undergrad degrees, gonna try and fit 110 students onto the course at £26k/year for foreigns. Nice money that is.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 8:30,
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Why don't you just fuck off? You contribute absolutely nothing and everyone despises you. The only thing in your favour is that as long as you're here I'm only the second most hated poster.(, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 10:06, archived)
Cheers, I considered rocking a bow tie but I thought it would scream PAEDO a little too loudly.(, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 10:45, archived)
have you been watching reruns of A League Of Their Own from about 10 years ago?(, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 10:07, archived)
Pushing that cunt down the board(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 23:56,
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very disappointing numbers here at the cuntpusher picnic I must say(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 2:12,
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What, run out of pricks to push?(
Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 10:21,
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Lovely to see this part of b3ta still going.Out of everywhere, /talk has changed the least, and that's a good thing.
(, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 16:50, archived)
ADISDON'T DIE OF DYSLEXIA
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MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 17:58,
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Only the good kind.(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 18:21,
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get fucked four eyes(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 16:57,
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when was that, two years and five months ago?(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 17:01,
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oh did you hear about b3ta through fb or summat?(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 17:24,
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you weren't even born then you melt(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 18:26,
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It's lovely to see you and on Anal Fistula Awareness Week of all weeks
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$$ ✅, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 17:16,
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you're certainly in the right place then(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 17:25,
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What's the DEAL with PASTA? It's not in the PAST!(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 17:34,
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that'll probaby do it(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 17:36,
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I clicked, so I guess populolage requires more than 1 click.But I should point out that all your experiences are in the past (including your experience of the present), so pasta is in the past just like everything else in anyone's subjective reality.
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brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 17:46,
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Go back in time and replace it with something funny.(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 18:21,
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It's important to meet expectations.(
Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Thu 17 Aug 2023, 12:19,
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Become top mod(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 18:28,
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ok so now how do I get it off the popular page(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 18:41,
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time heals all wounds(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 18:44,
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Or encourage the old folk to scream spastic again.www.scope.org.uk/donate/
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brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 20:05,
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mingetits buggerer(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 18:00,
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Bit rude m8, /talk is probably the most dynamic and exciting part of B3ta, we're constantly coming up with new ideas to improve users /talk experience.I don't think you'll fit in well here, if you want nostalgia you could try fucking off to /FAQ
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2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 18:36,
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RETURN OF THE FAQ(
MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 18:44,
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Has Garold died from neurotoxin injection complications?(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 15:06,
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Finally, you demonstrate some self-awareness and self-directed pisstaking(, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 16:12, archived)
Joke's on you, I was self aware the whole time!Some of you are too stupid to know how stupid you are, that's the real tragedy.
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brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 16:15,
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An actual photo of brb:i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/218/305/85e.jpg
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Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 16 Aug 2023, 16:21,
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I love knights, best of all the chess pieces(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 17:32,
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Add fruityloops and KSP and that's exactly correct.(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 17:47,
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You got ZUNG m7.9999999999999999999999999999999(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 17:44,
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Least convincing plot in Scooby Doo ever(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 17:30,
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I wouldn't know because I was in Denmark for 2 hours lol(
Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 15:08,
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OoooOOOh just found a stash of old non-barcode stampsgonna fill in a form and send them off for new ones.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 15:10,
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Are you dead though?Do you look like the corpse of David Frum?
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brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 16 Aug 2023, 16:12,
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