Well THAT escalated

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 22:08, archived)

are you on the ale?
my neighbour turned up in a 2026 g wagon yesterday and now he's in a brand new 911 carrera cabriolet. nice to see someone's doing alright.
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 22:10, archived)

"g wagon"?

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 22:36, archived)

Mercedes. V expensive

( mongychops, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 22:40, archived)

just looked it up
Looks like lego
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 22:43, archived)

That's a 600k g wagon? Or a shit one

( mongychops, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 22:40, archived)

probably a shit one. fucking peasant.

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 23:21, archived)

+h

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 5 Apr 2026, 8:31, archived)

did i miss something?
I tried the usual logging-out-to-see-if-some-ignored-person-was-responsible, but didn't see any changes.
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 22:42, archived)

garold is messing with ur mind, man

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 23:22, archived)

whoa

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 5 Apr 2026, 7:23, archived)

vagueb3ta, thy name is garold

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 23:25, archived)

If it's a lift, it's supposed to.

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 23:43, archived)

that espalated quickly

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 23:47, archived)

Espadrilled't it?

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sun 5 Apr 2026, 0:03, archived)

That moving staircase, you mean?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sun 5 Apr 2026, 0:22, archived)

I think I said too much

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 5 Apr 2026, 18:31, archived)

Serious bollocks for my internet pals

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 21:55, archived)

Srs?

( mongychops, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 22:01, archived)

dam srs, son. i just got stomped

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 22:09, archived)

Bollocks are usually serious

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 23:44, archived)

Serious poll for my internet pals
My kid turns 18 in July and has blanked me for 4 years, even when my brother croaked. She'll have finished her A Levels by then so my maintenance obligation ends. She also gets £40k from my brother's estate so will be pretty well off for a teenager. I'd been working part time for 5 years at this point in my life. Would you keep sending pocket money if this was your situation?

Tl;dr might parp on a puffin
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 12:01, archived)

Nope, I'd stop all payments if she's chosen no contact

( mongychops, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 12:14, archived)

Shame I sold all my records, could have really pissed people off on public transport
www.thediscdjstore.com/products/korg-handytraxx-play?
( mongychops, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 12:18, archived)

I have a Vestax one
Great for record fairs
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 12:19, archived)

Thanks man
I'm in two minds about it but stopping the money is my inclination I think
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 12:20, archived)

give it to me. i talk to you more than she does.

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 12:31, archived)

True

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 13:17, archived)

Put it in an account if you want, incase she sees sense and it helps you. But stop direct payments, she's 18 ffs

( mongychops, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 12:54, archived)

I like this

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 14:40, archived)

i'm with mongy; fuck her.

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 12:27, archived)

Ok ta

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 13:17, archived)

No don't do that
- even if you're estranged it's still incest
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 16:01, archived)

Fuck no, being part of a family is a two-way street.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 4 Apr 2026, 13:36, archived)

I just don't want to actually be the cunt I've always been made out to be

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 13:39, archived)

I don't give my grown arsed children pocket money. If they are skint they can ask

( mongychops, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 13:43, archived)

hello mongy
( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 14:28, archived)

I honestly canNOT tell you how accurate your assessment of me is here pfffff x
( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 14:28, archived)

OH NO THESE REPLIES ARE IN THE WRONG PLACE FMLLLLL

( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 14:29, archived)

Silly arse

( mongychops, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 14:32, archived)

You stupid fucking stupid cunt.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 4 Apr 2026, 14:38, archived)

fair :) x

( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Mon 6 Apr 2026, 13:21, archived)

why are you like this

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 14:41, archived)

I don't knowwwwww 😭
wait no
yes I do
( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Mon 6 Apr 2026, 13:20, archived)

are you talking about irl or on here now?

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 18:00, archived)

Nope.
I haven't spoken to my mum in over fifteen years, because she's a narcissistic psychopath, yet she keeps sending me e-mails, birthday cards and Christmas presents, and I wish she'd royally fuck off once and for all.
( .Yeti., Sat 4 Apr 2026, 13:55, archived)

This is sad
I expect my kid says the same about me
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 16:31, archived)

Given your years of racism, antisemitism and bullying on here,
maybe this is an opportunity to take stock and try to become a better person. It just might make your daughter want to see you again.
( .Yeti., Sat 4 Apr 2026, 20:27, archived)

Alright, brb.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 4 Apr 2026, 23:35, archived)

emails are easy to block.
Next time you move... no forwarding address.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 18:58, archived)

Exactly what I've done.
My dad's aware of the situation but he's fortunately on my side, having put up with exponentially more than his fair share of shit from his ex-wife as well.
( .Yeti., Sat 4 Apr 2026, 20:23, archived)

You can't change yourself.

( mongychops, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 21:28, archived)

unless you have a mirror
shamone
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 22:19, archived)

Wading in with unasked for thoughts which are geez I'm so sorry for all the ouch there must have been in the past and possibly still now around all of this.
Also, ALSO:
( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 14:20, archived)

Have you had a chance to either talk through with a Trusted Other, or think through, how you might feel in the event you stop the payments? In the short term, and in the longer term? How might you feel looking back on this in 5, 10, more years? This isn't a leading question, it's neutral.
( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 14:23, archived)

I don't think psychology is your forte, how will you feel in 20 years????

( mongychops, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 14:25, archived)

THEY WERE MEANT TO BE HERE :((((

( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 14:30, archived)

See above

( mongychops, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 14:32, archived)

Solved the problem though, queef can stop payments now
and if they reconcile in 10 years and she asks where they went, he can just say "I've been putting them in the wrong place, oops lol"
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 14:47, archived)

pfffffff

( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Mon 6 Apr 2026, 13:27, archived)

It's the question that I'm reaching for first because your kid is ok for money, and if there's no contact, you'll not know I assume how they feel about it...so you're left with your own feelings. I wonder if the potential symbolic complete cutting of ties might have more ambivalent emotions around it than you think?
( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 14:26, archived)

A few questions that I need to know? How you could ever hurt me so. Alright all saints calm down

( mongychops, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 14:58, archived)

Mongy you KNOW I would never hurt you <3 <3 <3
not on purpose, anyway. maybe by mistake. well I say by mistake
( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Mon 6 Apr 2026, 13:20, archived)

like I'd never leave for six, maybe seven years, without so much as a two-word message such as "all right?"
( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Mon 6 Apr 2026, 13:30, archived)

Yes there's a finality to it which is v upsetting

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 15:39, archived)

She's 18. Contact or not. You don't get weekly money at 18. You grow up.

( mongychops, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 16:25, archived)

Yeah I got fuck all after 16 iirc

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 17:11, archived)

I was working on building sites full time at 16. Kids today ffs

( mongychops, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 17:14, archived)

-Kids today ffs
DON’T YOU WANT ME BABY
( Cheers Cheers, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 17:52, archived)

No. And I've screenshot this to send to my solicitor. Why do you keep doing this? I'm at my wits end. The judge told you to stop. Serves you right if you go to prison!

( mongychops, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 18:52, archived)

Time for me to lawyer up
www.mountfordchambers.com/profile/sebastian-winnett/
( Cheers Cheers, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 19:27, archived)

Lol. You never escape your past

( mongychops, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 19:34, archived)

First up thank you
I've run this by my wife and my mother and both say cease paying.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 15:37, archived)

I have not much contact with my daughter. It's just how she is. Seen my son 3 times this past week. He's off for Easter. Not even had a what's up message for months.

( mongychops, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 16:01, archived)

You're welcome 👍

( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Mon 6 Apr 2026, 13:27, archived)

No fuck em.
They're young and stupid and will spaff that 40 grand away in short order. lol.

Why would you give money to someone that won't even speak to you? Are you dense? Pack it in, Queef's! Do I need to come and HAVE A WORD? EH?
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 18:57, archived)

You've lived up to your obligations
I say cut contact until and/or unless she contacts you. There's no saying how badly your skeeze of an ex has poisoned her mind against you. Be open to reconciliation, but protect yourself, too. Once she's an adult, you literally have no obligation to her. The ball is in her court.
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 20:15, archived)

in her what

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 21:26, archived)

Court, you deaf cunt.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 4 Apr 2026, 23:36, archived)

Shoes 👞

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 23:43, archived)

Apologies for source
www.reddit.com/r/unitedkingdom/s/ecSQFV7fH8
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 0:16, archived)

there are actually some great comments in that thread, "what a terrible day to be literate" made me laugh

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 1:48, archived)

> Just because you can write doesn't mean you should.

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 6:56, archived)

morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 7:12, archived)

b3ta

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 8:59, archived)

, scott

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 9:05, archived)

trouble up mills +

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 9:28, archived)

evenongning

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 23:22, archived)

Maybe

( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 23:42, archived)

dick

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 0:02, archived)

mís

( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 0:03, archived)

just about

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 23:53, archived)

mof

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 0:02, archived)

dick

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 0:46, archived)

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Sat 4 Apr 2026, 6:57, archived)

Wank holigay thread
Hi cock-sniffer's, Queef Smegwin off the internet here.

Doing anything fun this weekend? No plans here, leg o'lamb Sun. Working mon.

Might gonad a gorilla
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 12:28, archived)

Might bomfunk an MC

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 12:33, archived)

Drum & bass legends

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 12:46, archived)

Remember flashers?
Are they still a thing? You don't really hear about them any more. Not like back in the 70s/80s.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 13:04, archived)

Oh, you still get them.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 13:35, archived)

Takes one to know one!!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 13:39, archived)

These days it's called 'indecent exposure'.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 13:40, archived)

Large slapper I used to work with had one in the pharmacy once.
He said he was looking for condoms, then awkwardly opened his coat to reveal his flaccid chipolata, and she laughed him out of the shop.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 13:41, archived)

She promised me she wouldn't tell anyone :'(

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 13:46, archived)

dick pics

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 17:28, archived)

Seasonal.

( mongychops, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 17:51, archived)

The name's Bondi, Pam Bondi

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 15:14, archived)

Off till Tuesday
Try to avoid the family as much as possible, apart from Sunday.
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 15:17, archived)

Weird name for a relative, but OK.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 3 Apr 2026, 16:03, archived)

The name's Monkey 2, Sunday Monkey 2

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 19:05, archived)

i'm off til fursday too

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 19:20, archived)

fuck off then

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 22:39, archived)

Getting turnt af m8

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 18:57, archived)

YES bruv!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 20:01, archived)

morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 7:21, archived)

The morning daddy

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 7:35, archived)

ONANISM STENCH

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 9:44, archived)

Judi, to her friends.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 10:00, archived)

smells like vagictory

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 10:15, archived)

EMISSION ACCOMPLISHED

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 11:10, archived)

Christopher Walked

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 10:40, archived)

Pam Bondidn't

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 12:18, archived)

BAM! GONE-DIE

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 12:21, archived)

Bondi beached

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 12:29, archived)

POO-D SHATFORMING, more like!!!
Sorry, I mean, evening.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 2 Apr 2026, 20:15, archived)

WANKSMELL, yeah?

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 20:50, archived)

yeah.

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 21:09, archived)

Evening

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 21:01, archived)

did you mean to say wanksmell?

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 21:11, archived)

Or do I wish you a wanksmell?
Or am I saying that this is a good day for a wanksmell? Or that I feel wanksmell on this particular day?
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 21:33, archived)

Alright, Glandalf.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 2 Apr 2026, 21:34, archived)

To think that I have lived long enough to be wanksmelled by Mrs. Tea's son
As if I were a peddler selling Hebtroco sponsorship at the door
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 21:51, archived)

have i told you about my hebtro socks?

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 21:52, archived)

you mustn't

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 21:56, archived)

Are they used for wanking?

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 22:11, archived)

certainly
not
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 22:23, archived)

What do you use them for then?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 23:24, archived)

blowing my nose

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 23:29, archived)

this is you with that bloke from the hebtroco ads
ᶠᶸᶜᵏме𓀐𓂸
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 0:09, archived)

then you 'blow' your 'nose'

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 0:10, archived)

lucky i'm wearing absorbant socks!

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Fri 3 Apr 2026, 6:49, archived)

it's like raiiin on your wanksmell day

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 21:35, archived)

It's a free ride
When you've already been laid
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 22:12, archived)

In my Wanksmell I am a flying ace
dashing and smashing and I fly at pace
I wear goggles because well never mind why
I loop the loop in very big swoops in the sky
I wear a nice scarf and the scarf stands out stiffy
no it's not wire never mind how it does it
Just don't give it a sniffly
( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 22:49, archived)

WOOF!

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 23:19, archived)

afternoon

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 21:22, archived)

Did you know the wood used for the Ark and tabernacle is called shittim wood? It appears in the Bible as the material for sacred furniture.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 22:46, archived)

Not in my bible . I'm catholic.

( mongychops, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 23:01, archived)

you're shittim me

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 23:20, archived)

Not on maunday Thursday!!!11!!

( mongychops, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 23:33, archived)

it's like raiiin on maundy thursday

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 23:43, archived)

Yeah yeah what-EVER

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 14:50, archived)

Is this a 2D platforming thread?

( .Yeti., Thu 2 Apr 2026, 15:16, archived)

No this is the 2D metroidvania thread.
The 2D platforming thread is in another castle.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 15:27, archived)

I'm replaying Shadow Complex.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 15:35, archived)

Fucking classic mate.
I'd like to play that again but it would mean digging my Xbox 360 out of wherever the fuck it is.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 15:39, archived)

Played it way BITD, got back into metroidvanias over xmas
Then remembered you can re-download XBLA games to xbone.
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 15:43, archived)

Yeah but what prick bought an Xbox One?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 16:51, archived)

I got a preowned one years ago

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 18:04, archived)

+as I type this

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 17:54, archived)

Yes.

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 15:40, archived)

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣴⡶⠶⠿⠿⠟⠻⠿⠿⠶⣶⣤⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⠟⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⢷⣦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⠤⢤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⢷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠛⣡⡀⠀⠀⣠⣄⠉⠳⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢷⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⡿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠋⠀⣸⣿⣿⣆⣰⣿⣿⣧⠀⠙⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠻⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡏⠀⢰⣿⣿⠻⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣧⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⠀⣿⣿⡟⠀⠘⠋⠀⢸⣿⣿⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢦⣙⣛⣁⣠⡤⠤⠤⠤⣭⣥⣠⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⠶⠛⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠓⠦⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠞⠉⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠳⢦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡴⠋⠀⢀⣠⠴⠚⠋⠉⢁⣀⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣬⣍⣙⠓⠶⢤⡀⠀⠀⠙⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠏⠀⣠⠖⠉⣠⣶⣶⣾⣿⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣽⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣌⡓⠄⠀⠈⢷⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡆⠀⠀⠀⡏⠀⠘⠁⣠⣾⣿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠿⣧⠈⠻⣦⡀⠀⠸⡇⠀⠀⢀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡀⠀⠀⣇⢀⣴⠟⠉⠽⠁⠀⣀⠤⠤⢌⠳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠚⣡⠴⠦⣤⡀⠀⠙⠀⠀⠈⠻⣦⣠⡇⠀⠀⣸⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣦⡀⠹⠻⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣰⠁⣠⡶⢦⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣵⢶⣦⡀⠹⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠉⢀⣤⣾⣯⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⠋⠈⠛⡆⠀⢇⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⣿⣄⣀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣅⣀⣿⣧⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡏⠀⡟⠁⠀⠙⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡟⠒⠙⢶⣧⠀⢸⡄⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠉⠉⠑⠻⢿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⠀⣧⡞⠉⠁⢹⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⠀⢀⡤⣿⡀⣀⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠣⠘⡿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⢶⠀⣿⠤⠄⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⣠⣤⣤⣤⣀⠀⠀⢻⣆⠀⠀⠘⣷⠟⠉⠀⣾⣦⣄⡀⢀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⡄⢀⣠⣴⣾⣧⠀⠀⠈⢶⠇⠀⠀⢀⣿⢃⣶⠿⠛⠻⣶⡄⠀⠀⠀
⠀⣰⡟⠁⠀⠈⢻⣧⠀⠀⢻⣦⡀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⣠⣾⠃⣾⠇⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⠀⠀⠀
⠀⢻⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⡆⠀⠀⠙⠻⣶⣿⡆⠀⠀⠘⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⣿⣶⡾⠛⠁⢠⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠃⠀⠀
⠀⠸⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣤⣤⣀⣤⣤⣾⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⢿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡟⠛⠛⠿⠿⠿⠟⠛⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣾⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⢸⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣴⣶⣶⣤⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⣻⣷⣦⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠲⠶⠶⠒⢋⡄⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣴⡾⠛⠁⠀⠀⢠⡾⠟⠛⢿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀
⢀⣶⠟⠛⠀⠀⠀⠀⡟⠁⠀⠀⢹⣷⣦⣤⣶⠟⠛⡟⠉⠉⠛⢶⣤⡀⠀⠉⠒⠒⠒⠊⠁⠀⠀⣠⡾⠟⢻⡟⠻⠷⣦⣴⠿⢿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠹⠀⠀⠀⠀⠋⠉⠻⣦⠀
⣾⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠘⠁⠈⠻⡀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠙⠓⠦⢤⣀⣀⣤⠤⠶⣟⠁⠀⠀⠀⣇⠀⠀⢸⠏⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⡇
⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢣⠀⢀⠃⠀⠀⠀⠘⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡇
⠸⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⢸⠀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠧⠤⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⠤⠿⠀⢀⣤⣄⡀⣇⠀⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⠃
⠀⠹⣷⡀⠀⢲⡀⢷⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⢸⣾⠉⠉⠙⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⠋⠉⠻⣿⠀⠸⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡞⢀⡟⢠⠏⠀⢀⣾⠏⠀
⠀⠀⠘⠿⣦⣀⠁⠀⠁⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⢾⣏⣠⡿⢿⣄⣀⣼⠟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣄⣀⣰⣿⢷⣄⣿⡓⠄⡀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠈⠀⢀⣠⣴⠟⠁⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠻⠷⣶⣤⣄⣀⣀⣩⣴⠿⢻⡿⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠋⠁⠀⢻⣏⠻⣶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣴⡶⠿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⠉⠀⢠⣿⢧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢈⣿⡀⠀⠈⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀BOLLOCKS⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⠊⢹⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠻⢷⣦⣄⣀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣤⡾⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠛⠿⠷⠶⠶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡶⠶⠿⠟⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 15:58, archived)

It's low poly

( mongychops, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 18:08, archived)

afternoon

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 15:24, archived)

no m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 17:54, archived)

Shyeah

( broadsword, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 15:46, archived)

I'm working tomorrow, like some kind of fucking stupid fucking cunt

( broadsword, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 15:47, archived)

YFSFC

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 15:49, archived)

^

( broadsword, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 17:12, archived)

I worked today like some kind of colossal knobcheese
Three day week? Nein fucking danke m8
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 17:55, archived)

Like turdally

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 17:53, archived)

Just replaced the thermostatic mixer taps in the bathroom
very satisfying.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 16:16, archived)

I can't do anything practical like that
Makes being a landlord very expensive
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 17:53, archived)

Well I do hope you cleaned and chlorinated the taps and new pipework and tested that the tmv is operating correctly and to the correct temperature range.

( mongychops, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 18:10, archived)

morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 2:44, archived)

evening

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 2:47, archived)

alright

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 3:34, archived)

morning

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 6:03, archived)

afternoon

( broadsword, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 12:46, archived)

HOT SPACE PEOPLE ARE IN SPACE RIGHT NOW

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 7:29, archived)

One of them is anyway, he died in 1991

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 8:29, archived)

SEXY SINGLES IN YOUR APPROXIMATE ORBITAL ALTITUDE
HOHMANN TRANSFER NOW TO MEET HOT SPACE PEOPLE
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 10:08, archived)

64.media.tumblr.com/e51c5ce156052aea95782de8260e22de/tumblr_my28bm6n901r60h6bo5_250.gifv
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 10:16, archived)

I hear they've been having to trouble shoot the space toilet
- IYKWIM
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 13:46, archived)

My year in solitary confinement has not broken me. My peaceful fight for Baloch rights in Pakistan goes on

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 14:09, archived)

Balochs

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 14:10, archived)

What about the baulochs

( mongychops, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 14:36, archived)

Never mind the baulochs,
here's the Sex Pistols.
( .Yeti., Thu 2 Apr 2026, 14:41, archived)

You cannot pass!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 14:54, archived)

Pushing that prick down the board

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 17:26, archived)

Aeneas Wiener

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 18:03, archived)

Best manager Arsenal ever had
alt: Anais Marsac
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 18:40, archived)

what wpuld u do if a deer jusg walked into ur home
This is what I took from a forum I was just on, I figured it must be a meme because it did not relate to the conversation, but I can't find it.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 18:35, archived)

set another place at the table

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 18:37, archived)

I like this
I finished watching Detectorists, I thought it was great.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 18:38, archived)

was that the one with the rent boys?

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 18:42, archived)

It was on Amazon Prime? Didn't really look at the cast list.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 18:49, archived)

Think I only watched the first series.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 19:03, archived)

The other two are probably worth it if you enjoyed the first one, more of the same feel

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 19:11, archived)

I would probably say:
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 1 Apr 2026, 18:44, archived)

deer jusg walked out ur home

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 18:48, archived)

Did it threaten to maek a mess of ur pots and pans?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 1 Apr 2026, 18:55, archived)

Exactly! That's what it made me think of.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 19:05, archived)

Wonder who left the door open

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 23:23, archived)

jesus

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Thu 2 Apr 2026, 14:41, archived)

there are other forums?
what's the point of that?
(piss and shit, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 23:52, archived)

Hi there spunk-bubble's
Having a nice day? I've done eff all so far
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 13:36, archived)

That's not true, you've done an effective threadstomp.
My day is nice, yes. Like me.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 13:51, archived)

A lot of poos, mostly
I’m very productive
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 13:54, archived)

A lot of poos, mostly
I'm full of shit
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 13:57, archived)

A lot of Poohs, mostly
I'm Christopher Robin
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 14:03, archived)

A lot of booze, mostly
I'm very drunk
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 14:11, archived)

brilliant

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 14:26, archived)

i ate some crackers

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 14:25, archived)

idgi

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 15:05, archived)

A lot of coos, mostly
I’m a dove
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 14:26, archived)

Took kid one to an Easter trail thing, then he spent over an hour running around the play area.
Fucking knackered now.
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 14:29, archived)

I hope he burned your neck

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 15:54, archived)

A lot of ooze, mostly.
I've developed my own envelope of protective slime.
( .Yeti., Wed 1 Apr 2026, 15:08, archived)

^ living the bream

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 15:23, archived)

OH BREAM IN CREAM YEAH BREAM IN CREAM

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 17:12, archived)

I just had bream for dinner.
It wasn't in cream, though.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 1 Apr 2026, 18:33, archived)

I've developed my own envelope of protective slime. Turtle power!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 15:28, archived)

Well you know what the say - ooze it or lose it, baby!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 1 Apr 2026, 15:57, archived)

Slime too sexy
Ooze that girl
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 16:03, archived)

I'm enjoying a really big cup of tea
and I've had two chocolate digestive biscuits with my cuppa. Plain chocolate because I'm middle-class.

I also saw a black curly wig in the hedge earlier. Either that or a dwarf was stuck and too scared to say anything as I stood there laughing.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 15:08, archived)

hedgewig and the angry inch

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 15:25, archived)

Haaaaaa!!!!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 15:47, archived)

Toupee, or not toupee?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 15:33, archived)

A lot of woos, mostly
Some yays, some hoopla
( broadsword, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 15:36, archived)

Don’t Toss the Liquid in Canned Beans — Here Are 6 Ways Chefs Use It
Mayonnaise and aioli
Thickening sauces and soups
Cocktail foam
Hummus and other dips
Meringues and cakes
Rice

There.
( $$ ✅, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 16:44, archived)

Also enhances oral, vaginal or anal sex.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 1 Apr 2026, 16:57, archived)

Aquafaba is genuinely useful m8
Especially if ur a vegan
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 17:16, archived)

Damnit too late

( broadsword, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 17:20, archived)

Why would you put it in hummus, that's a rhetorical question, you wouldn't put it in hummus

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 19:07, archived)

-tail

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 19:08, archived)

afternoon

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 13:35, archived)

Morning arsefumblers

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 0:48, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 1:05, archived)

mornballs

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 4:43, archived)

Good morning from sunny Cyprus!

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 6:53, archived)

Ugh, insomnia

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 7:05, archived)

Hi

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 7:34, archived)

Just had my first poo of the month

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 7:55, archived)

Fuck off with your April Fool bullshit

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 8:19, archived)

Get pranked, bro

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 8:25, archived)

F st
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 10:15, archived)

stuck off etc

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 10:15, archived)

Queest

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 10:27, archived)

Me too, just before getting up

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 8:22, archived)

Very efficient

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 8:25, archived)

I'm getting up
_{as I} type ^this
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 10:47, archived)

One from the bum, no harm done.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 8:45, archived)

*fumbles*

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 8:27, archived)

Whose arse?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 8:33, archived)

HIS ASS

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 8:36, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8qw3oWvDpo
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 9:07, archived)

Soupy Twist

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 9:48, archived)

far and away my all time favourite comedy programme

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 12:52, archived)

RUN'S ARSE

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 13:34, archived)

Scott Mills has received a full apology from the BBC for unfair dismissal, and was reinstated as Radio 2 Breakfast Show host this morning.
Hahahaha, April Fool!!!!!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 8:48, archived)

This would have been a more effective April fool if I gave anything resembling a shit either way.
Happy 22nd anniversary of the launch of Gmail (to all who celebrate).
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 9:47, archived)

Huh, nice.
I'm old enough to have got a firstname.lastname Gmail address.
( .Yeti., Wed 1 Apr 2026, 9:54, archived)

lucky you, I had to go with firstname.lastname.mother'smaidenname.dateofbirth

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 10:18, archived)

Ah, the 'credit card special'.

( .Yeti., Wed 1 Apr 2026, 10:20, archived)

Same here.
/ancient
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 1 Apr 2026, 10:54, archived)

Scott Milsom

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 10:49, archived)

Just had my second poo of the month

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 11:21, archived)

BULLSHIT

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 12:00, archived)

Subscribe to my bog

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 12:02, archived)

Hullo bumstain's
Turns out mum #2 'only' has non Hodgkins lymphoma, not myeloma. This is apparently good news.

Had any good news yourself l8ly?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 12:50, archived)

Yep. My mother in law is going to be staying with her other son towards the end of this week
so we've got a bit of time to ourselves. Yay! She's a lovely lady and the fact that she can't speak any English and I can't speak Portuguese means we get on really well, but she's on a long stay with us so it'll be good to have a bit of a break from each other.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 12:59, archived)

3wks with my FIL last year was just awful
He's a nice chap but also fucking weird
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 13:37, archived)

'Addicted to gay porn' weird, or 'obsessed with Jerry Brudos' weird?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 13:47, archived)

Robert Hairy-Palmer

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 13:52, archived)

The Power Bottom

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 14:14, archived)

Both

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 14:04, archived)

Sadly not.
My news is sort of the opposite of yours. My aunt, who we're all very close to, has been more or less on the level since a cancer diagnosis a few years ago but now seems to be getting a lot worse quite quickly.

Dreading breaking the news to my little lad, as he dotes on her.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 31 Mar 2026, 13:58, archived)

ah shit mate sorry to hear this

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 13:58, archived)

Thanks bro.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 31 Mar 2026, 14:04, archived)

Sounds wack yo

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 14:09, archived)

That's pretty rubbish.
Have you considered permanently renouncing all attachments to family members, to save yourself from this sort of pain and discomfort?
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 14:25, archived)

That is shit
I am sorry.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 14:26, archived)

Thanks garold.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 31 Mar 2026, 14:36, archived)

sorry dude

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 14:53, archived)

Fanks.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 31 Mar 2026, 15:05, archived)

I didn't shit myself.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 14:23, archived)

UPDATE: I just shat myself.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 14:24, archived)

Sure, but for a while there it was going great

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 14:54, archived)

Getting our problem trees removed, and our remaining trees topped and shaped, is only going to cost £4,500.
I mean that's a massive expense that we can't really afford just now, but it's a great price for what needs done.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 18:42, archived)

Alright, Saruman.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 31 Mar 2026, 18:45, archived)

If they could fucking walk away from next door's driveway and patio, they wouldn't need to die.
Seriously though, the guys cut down the biggest problem tree yesterday so I can count the rings. It was 29 years old, but it's put on about 30cm of diameter in the 7 years we've lived here, so no wonder it's causing problems. Fat cunts need to go.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 18:51, archived)

B3ta, you mean.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 31 Mar 2026, 20:32, archived)

You fucking what? I do remember you saying you were moving, was that really 7 years ago?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 22:40, archived)

You can't tell from rings. You got conned.

( mongychops, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 22:55, archived)

treeception

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 6:34, archived)

ringception tho

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 21:21, archived)

money well spEnt

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 18:50, archived)

Good joke, HOOMan

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 18:52, archived)

our problem trees removed, and our remaining trees and shaped
( Cheers Cheers, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 18:52, archived)

If you think it'd cost that to have me whacked, they saw you coming

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 19:04, archived)

That's less bad news, not good news
But take what you can get.
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 21:53, archived)

Got to the bog without starting. Triumph

( mongychops, Wed 1 Apr 2026, 0:27, archived)

morn an ting

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 5:18, archived)

word

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 7:03, archived)

Hi

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 7:27, archived)

shizzle my nizzle

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 8:01, archived)

Please blow it first.
Last time I shizzled someone's nizzle it was disgusting, snot all over the place.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 31 Mar 2026, 8:15, archived)

I’m blowing my nizzle as I tizzle this

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 8:23, archived)

Always protect your nizzle if you don't want to end up at the clap clinic

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 10:15, archived)

The clap clizzle, you mean

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 11:00, archived)

Chisel

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 11:08, archived)

Clapnic, maybe yours will sound Balkan

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 12:09, archived)

I think if you wish to be grammatically correct it should be “morn a ting”.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 8:21, archived)

morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 8:42, archived)

I have a real fancy for a pina colada
may call in the supermarket on the way home this evening and pick up some coconut cream and pinapple juice.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 9:41, archived)

Make sure you get caught in the rain.

( .Yeti., Tue 31 Mar 2026, 9:44, archived)

I don't know any other part of that song
just that bit of the lyric
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 10:16, archived)

I don't know any of the rest of it either.

( .Yeti., Tue 31 Mar 2026, 10:23, archived)

I can help.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 10:31, archived)

do you have one of those little umbrellas?

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 11:07, archived)

That won't help you in the rain, unless you're tiny.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 11:12, archived)

i'm minuscule.

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 11:15, archived)

Well go out and buy some cule then, duh

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 11:31, archived)

c n
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 9:52, archived)

nall, etc.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 31 Mar 2026, 9:58, archived)

i æ
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 31 Mar 2026, 9:58, archived)

evenæng, etc.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 10:06, archived)

Evening
all
( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 18:54, archived)

Hell
o
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 19:00, archived)

Well jell
o
( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 22:15, archived)

carole nakhle y/n/o

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 19:40, archived)

n, also a difficult name to say, crackle nackle is probably what I'd settle for

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 19:46, archived)

crackle my nackle

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 19:52, archived)

crackle your own nackle u perv

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 20:52, archived)

No idea what that is
but can you please fuck off with your lonely incel schtick, it's fucking tragic.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 20:02, archived)

Don't hit me with your incel schtick! Do fuck off, it's tra-ge-dic. Don't hit me, hit me, hit meee

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 20:09, archived)

^ spasticus autisticus

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 20:18, archived)

That could apply to almost anyone here, though.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 30 Mar 2026, 20:57, archived)

I'M SPASTICUS!

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 21:03, archived)

Yes.
Yes, you are.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 30 Mar 2026, 21:06, archived)

solidarity, brother!

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 21:08, archived)

See that?
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Belmopan

That's your hometown, that is.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 30 Mar 2026, 21:54, archived)

Dozer has always been a weird try hard. It's just he's online persona he's kept up for years tho. Hahaha, trolled you. In his 40s ain't he? Ah well .

( mongychops, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 21:17, archived)

ಠ▄ಠ

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 19:45, archived)

😘

( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 22:15, archived)

Sorry everyone I forgot I put this here earlier

( vladimir The Days Pass Quickly Immersed in the Shadow of Et, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 22:16, archived)

Rude

( mongychops, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 22:26, archived)

disgraceful

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 31 Mar 2026, 1:42, archived)

afternoon

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 14:55, archived)

It is.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 15:11, archived)

Sgone Mills

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 15:14, archived)

he died in 2005

(piss and shit, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 15:18, archived)

oh i thought him still alive

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 15:46, archived)

he'

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 16:05, archived)

he'died

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 18:04, archived)

scott.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 18:23, archived)

Dmedff

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 18:24, archived)

Anal

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 30 Mar 2026, 18:27, archived)

b3ta

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 18:47, archived)

Please be very quiet as if you were dead.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 30 Mar 2026, 18:58, archived)

we have a right laugh here don't we

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 19:27, archived)

-you were dead +he'died

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 19:47, archived)

morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 6:07, archived)

bollocks

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 7:09, archived)

morning

( broadsword, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 7:30, archived)

It is.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 8:36, archived)

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again
GUNTSMEG
( Cheers Cheers, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 8:55, archived)

Hello flebmate's

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 9:03, archived)

Queef Smarold

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 10:52, archived)

it's bollocks o'clock
- time for bed, supposedly
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Sun 29 Mar 2026, 22:37, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 29 Mar 2026, 23:03, archived)

Boop

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Mon 30 Mar 2026, 23:07, archived)