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# help me write the newsletter, fill in the XXX bits
: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* PISS TIME CHALLENGE - J-Rod writes, 'Ever
took a long piss the morning after a long
night at the pub. Sometimes it feels like
you're in front of the toilet for a solid
couple of minutes. Film your wizzes
(showing genitalia not necessary) and
compete for the world record!'

* XXX
* XXX

-------------------------------------------------
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:11, archived)
# Jimmy Carr weeping silently at a funeral.
Oh, something to make?


Er......fuck knows.


I'm no help at all, sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:12, archived)
# rip-off merchant

    GOLDENFANJITA'S
       TEXT TIME

  suggestions please
(GoldenFanjita whistle posse blow! horns crew i can't hear you!, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:12, archived)
# Oooh, something onomatopoeic please
'lo Fanj
(I helped save b3ta! tipassoi, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:14, archived)
# 

********************
      PLOP!
********************
(GoldenFanjita whistle posse blow! horns crew i can't hear you!, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:15, archived)
# Hahahaha!
JOKES ARE FUNNIER THAN TECHNIQUE!


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:16, archived)
# My Mum With a Cardboard Box on Her Head
I don't know where this is supposed to lead.
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:13, archived)
# Meat helmet!
how much meat can you wear on your head in one go? provide pictorial evidence and a champion will be announced next week.
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:13, archived)
# Does the meat of my head count?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:13, archived)
# How much is there?
It's supposed to not be attached in the first place...
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:15, archived)
# Enough to cover MY ENTIRE SKULL
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:16, archived)
# Ah but is it detachable?
If so, yes, it counts, but evidence will need to be provided.
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:19, archived)
# :( no....
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:25, archived)
# Probably just as well...
That would really freak people out if you just detached the top of your head.
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:25, archived)
# That'd be WICKED
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:28, archived)
# Hang on a sec then...
*goes off to get small knife*
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:36, archived)
# no
it'd give you an unfair advantage.

and also isn't a meat helmet when you sneak up behind
someone who is sitting in a chair and put your cock
on top of their head?
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:15, archived)
# Why would you do that?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:16, archived)
# i wouldn't
it was a canadian friend of mine who told me about it.
you know what those canadians are like.
wacky bastards
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:19, archived)
# Well...
It could be that instead if you want?
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:18, archived)
# Master Of Turnips does nothing interesting at all
Here is a montage of his posts.
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:13, archived)
# "b3ta loses the plot and goes arty!"
(GoldenFanjita whistle posse blow! horns crew i can't hear you!, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:13, archived)
# Find Maddy
Convince a newspaper or tv station that you've got phographic evidence she's still alive
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:13, archived)
# This^
Lolz
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:14, archived)
# a vile?
O_o
(spartacus_mills and Rex Hamilton as Abraham Lincoln!, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:15, archived)
# Or "Who can kidknap the best Maddie look-a-likey and convince the McCanns it's their daughter"
(I helped save b3ta! Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:16, archived)
# hahaha
christ
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:17, archived)
# Wrong. Ten shades of wrong.
*mops up tea from monitor*
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:20, archived)
# Hahahahaha
Jesus.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:20, archived)
# ^this^
With added "Please can we have this please?"
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:19, archived)
# lots of love, god save the queen xxx
(I helped save b3ta! god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:13, archived)
# Ahhhh.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:13, archived)
# hehe
(Fenristhewolf ..back once again on, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:14, archived)
# or how about
The Queen Elizabeth Effigy Show

Last week those wacky funsters in Pakistan were seen burning effigies of our esteemed Queen. Make a tv show showing her getting her own back. Post it on youtube.

Or:
www.effigies.com
Where do those wacky fundametalists get their effigies so quickly? Set up an online shop. First one to get a fatwa against them wins.
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:16, archived)
#
can you curl off more than a foot of turd?
extra points awarded for style and coiling
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:14, archived)
# oh god i got "goatsed" the other day
with a video of a chinese/japanese lady doing a foot long poo and eating it

don't ask me why i watched it for that long
(GoldenFanjita whistle posse blow! horns crew i can't hear you!, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:14, archived)
# It's like Punk'd with lube and grunting.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:15, archived)
# if she dumps into a clear glass dish which nearly overflows
shes japanese.
(waxdart hello., Fri 22 Jun 2007, 14:06, archived)
# there is a website for this.
www.poopreport.com/Doctor/Content/month.html
(waxdart hello., Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:35, archived)
# Pets on skateboards


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:14, archived)
# Find places no-one has heard of Madeleine McCann
Plot the results on Google Earth.

Extra points if they're not in Antarctica or Uzbekistan.
(Pachey, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:14, archived)
# what about
Khazakstan?
(Fenristhewolf ..back once again on, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:16, archived)
# i bet it draws a giant cdc!
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:17, archived)
# the not blinking world record
stands at about 2.5 minutes. break it!
(Jazz Bloke Music has charms to soothe the savage breast, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:14, archived)
# I could beat that eas... *blinks*
bollocks!


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:16, archived)
# Hahahahaha!
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:19, archived)
# i thought that mr hat sir
but lasted half a minute. the trick is to revolve your eyes to imitate blinkage.
(Jazz Bloke Music has charms to soothe the savage breast, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:34, archived)
# Grass eating
Survive on a diet of grass (not the drug) for an entire three weeks to see what the effects are.
Keep an online diary, perhaps with video footage to show how the experiment is progressing. Describe the sensation of chewing cud.
At the end of the three weeks, answer the question that everyone will be asking; can you be milked?
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:15, archived)
# What if you're already female?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:15, archived)
# Photographic evidence?
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:17, archived)
# Cheeky bitch.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:17, archived)
# Is that the pose you would adopt
for the photo?

*fills in Razzle model release form whilst waiting for photo*
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:20, archived)
# Dirty!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:27, archived)
# cant chew
the cud as we dont have multiple chambers in our stomach
(Jazz Bloke Music has charms to soothe the savage breast, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:17, archived)
# : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* Make a 4 chambered stomach and survive off cud
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:18, archived)
# Speak for yourself.


*enjoys multiple chambers*
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:19, archived)
# you bragging
about your rumination abilities again?
(Jazz Bloke Music has charms to soothe the savage breast, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:36, archived)
# stick sellotape to your front door, and unwind it on your commute to work
see if your journey is longer than a whole reel
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:15, archived)
# That would only involve
coming down to the cellar.
A reel would last me months.
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:16, archived)
# You are either a wine merchant or a crazy person
(Pachey, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:21, archived)
# It's the
CELLAR OF RAWK!
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:22, archived)
# How long's the average roll?
If I did that on the bus I'd cause many accidents. Or a lorry'd snap the tape.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:17, archived)
# pffft
gain points for trapping humans in it
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:17, archived)
# How long is a roll of sellotape anyway?
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:17, archived)
# 66 m
fact.
(I helped save b3ta! god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:22, archived)
# Prove your alliegence...
by designing a patriotic birthday card for Her Majesty... including three randomly generated pictures, one of which must include the words Iraq and Bush int he search parameters

...or something less shit?
(Fenristhewolf ..back once again on, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:15, archived)
# are you asking me to stand in the toilet with a camera?
what? no...
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:16, archived)
# Sneak your own 'products' onto Tesco shelves, complete with barcodes and shelf labels
record the results
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:16, archived)
# If I could vote
I would vote for this.
(I helped save b3ta! Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:17, archived)
# people keep leaving umbrellas in the shop
and people keep asking to buy them... im gonna sell one, one day! :D
edit : i once sold my managers hat thinking it was stock - shh!
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:22, archived)
# Why do all second hand games consoles smell the same?
(I helped save b3ta! davew27 hevosen kuva!, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:16, archived)
# film yourself having a wank
then post the video to a made-up address

see if you get on the news
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:16, archived)
# Hahaha
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:19, archived)
# Partner Tracking
A few weeks ago, a guy attached a camera to a cat with a timer to see what it was up to.
Do the same with your beloved half and see what they are up to when they pass the catflap!
(duck Quack !, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:16, archived)
# feature
nuts2zoo.co.uk/index.php

to commemorate bloggerheads now being ripped off.

With added recording of Zoo employee talking sweet to me on the phone.

Thank you everyone - I didn't realise it was my birthday :-)
(I helped save b3ta! beaubodor blogless, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:17, archived)
# Happy b3taday!
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:18, archived)
# Bah! to being ripped off!
but Huzzah! Happy B3taday!


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:19, archived)
# Heh.
28 visits from Emap yesterday and the day before... but they won't answer my emails or return my calls.
(I helped save b3ta! Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:19, archived)
# i bet they're not the only people though
i think i'd ignore you if you came after me!
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:20, archived)
# Ah, but you see....
... people often miss Chapters 1-4 of events at Bloggerheads. It usually starts with a polite request or a reasonable question... it's generally *after* this is ignored that I 'go after' people.
(I helped save b3ta! Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:23, archived)
# fair enough
i'd still be hiding mind
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:29, archived)
# silly interwebber
hiding is not ignoring

:o)
(I helped save b3ta! Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:32, archived)
# happy b3taday
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:20, archived)
# LOVE SONGS FOR SHOCK SITES
Write and perform a song including any of the following words in the chorus; [goatse, tubgirl, etc. list]. Who knows? It may well chart and corrupt a generation.
(I helped save b3ta! Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:17, archived)
# an ode to lemon party?
/voms
(Fenristhewolf ..back once again on, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:18, archived)
# Hmm,...
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:18, archived)
# how does one pronounce "goatse"
is it "goats", "goat-se" or "goat-suh"

this is important for rhyming purposes
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:19, archived)
# goat see ...
...i believe...
(Fenristhewolf ..back once again on, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:21, archived)
# I've always pronounced it 'goats'
so that it can become 'goatsex' with the original domain name. That might just be me though.
(I helped save b3ta! Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:23, archived)
# goatse
So people know what I'm talking about
(I helped save b3ta! The Coast Of Yemen, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:27, archived)
# Goat-se of course
(I helped save b3ta! davew27 hevosen kuva!, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:32, archived)
# Behind the scenes footage of 'Wizbit'
Showing the deleted episode 'Debbie Does Woolly', some scrapped magic tricks involving Wizbit's kinky point, and the paparazzi photos that eventually got Paul Daniels in the clink.
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:17, archived)
# *rape someone famous and tell us about it!
*make fun of a blonde person than draw him crying and send it to us. rewards are present.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Johnson, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:18, archived)
# how long does a fart smell for in a jar?
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:18, archived)
# now this is PROPER
science! I'm gonna get me a beeeg jar!


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:20, archived)
# can you get a trumpet to parp...with your parps?
film it pucker up and let us see
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:23, archived)
# Make some cupcakes
and take them to the local children's home.

B3ta can be about giving back too. :)
(Pachey, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:18, archived)
# with added e numbers...let the chaos begin
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:21, archived)
#
numbers
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:23, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:29, archived)
# You missed out this part:
laced with LSD
(spartacus_mills and Rex Hamilton as Abraham Lincoln!, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:22, archived)
# FT-IR scans of farts.
Wish I'd kept them.
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:20, archived)
# Hahahaha
Did you fart into a bottle of KBr or bubble it through nujol?
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:42, archived)
# Neither.
We had a gas sampling cell.
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:45, archived)
# Crimewatch with canned laughter
I'd like to see a studio audience added to shows which shouldn't have one.
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:20, archived)
# This.
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:21, archived)
# :D

This is a delightful suggestion, but has already been adopted by sitcoms on BBC1 and ITV.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:22, archived)
# it turns out that
Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps is a comedy. I'd never have guessed.
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:31, archived)
# ^this
Topical too, as Nick Ross has just retired from it.
(Pachey, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:22, archived)
# retired?
wasn't he given the boot?
(spartacus_mills and Rex Hamilton as Abraham Lincoln!, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:24, archived)
# I stand* corrected



*slump in a chair
(Pachey, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:27, archived)
#
retired
been "Moira'd"
(I helped save b3ta! Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:24, archived)
# *likes*
I watched M*A*S*H on DVD last night, and it allows you to switch off the laugh track. It's quite spooky minus automated laughter.
(I helped save b3ta! Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:26, archived)
# That's quite a trendy feature.
More of this please, Entertainment Industry.
(I helped save b3ta! Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:27, archived)
# The
laughter is there to tell Americans when a comic situation has occured in case they cant work it out for themselves
(I helped save b3ta! social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 14:43, archived)
# Do farts reverberate through a megaphone?
Prize for the loudest & most damaging
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:20, archived)
# Can you dig a hole right to the centre of the earth?
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:24, archived)
# and let's face it
who hasn't tried this
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:27, archived)
# Extreme Mooning
Dear Jim,

I would like to see someone's arse pressed against the glass of Gormley's Blind Light sculpture.
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:24, archived)
# Make a simple anemometer
( www.teachingonline.org/anamometer.html )
And measure TRUMP SPEED with it!
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:25, archived)
# Or,
climb up your local remote roadside weather station and piss in the rain gauge, while blowing really hard on the anemometer thingy and shining a torch at the light gauge. Take a thermos of hot water for the thermometer thingy, too.
See if it gets on the news. Probably not.
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:28, archived)
# hahaha
most elaborate deception ever

*votes*
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:30, archived)
# I would do this
But I don't know of any of them around here :(
(I helped save b3ta! The Coast Of Yemen, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:33, archived)
# How about
Amusingly shaped fruit and vegetables?
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:27, archived)
# go to the sniffiest, most poncy shop you know
hang around outside

then stick your bogeys to its window and wave
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:28, archived)
# John Travolta's Electro-Magnetic Glans
(I helped save b3ta! Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:31, archived)
# Weigh your own head using the Archimedes principle
then start a website where other people can do the same, submit pictures and weights and start a graph.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:32, archived)
# Or use the
Bigley technique.
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:35, archived)
# ooooooo!
hostage-y.
(Jazz Bloke Music has charms to soothe the savage breast, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:39, archived)
# Peter Andre
Sanding down his crusty buttocks.
(I helped save b3ta! Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:33, archived)
# Reclaim the Olympic Logo
The London Olympics logo is based on graffiti. I'd like Grafitti artists to claim this style back by tagging the logo all over trains, monuments and busses.
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:33, archived)
# Hahahahaha!
Oh, that's evil. Those straight lines are perfect for the window-scratching method that is so popular with today's youth tomorrow's athletes.
(I helped save b3ta! Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:38, archived)
# Teenagers holding their breath until they pass out.
Whilst filming the whole thing and sticking the result on youtube.

When we get a wave of these, the headlines will be fun. and B3TA will get known for getting stupid kids to do things for our grooming needs.
(waxdart hello., Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:34, archived)
# THE FORBIDDEN DOCUMENTARY
Make a film about places where you are not allowed to film, starting with McDonalds and working your way up to secret U.S. bases. Try to interview everyone who refuses to let you film.
(I helped save b3ta! Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:34, archived)
# How many comdoms can you fit over one hand
like a game of gloves... but with man sheaths!
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Scunner She’s a he, technically, but she’s scalding hot, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:36, archived)
# have you any idea how expensive this would be.

femidoms, make a sofa out of a single femidom
and pose your family on it while they watch telly
ala. royal family
(I helped save b3ta! god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:40, archived)
# Family Clinic = Free Johnnies.
Provided you don't tell them you want to do this stunt, that is.
(I helped save b3ta! ArghZombies No longer has a Leaky QUIM, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:44, archived)
# Not a good idea
www.myscienceproject.org/condoms.html
(I helped save b3ta! The Coast Of Yemen, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:41, archived)
# hahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! god save the queen making another unremarkable comeback, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:49, archived)
# Mingers with dinners
A website of photos.

Funny snaps taken of fat people when they are eating in the street.
(waxdart hello., Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:37, archived)
# Ha ha ha
There's something so satisfying about watching fat people eat.
(I helped save b3ta! Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:40, archived)
# Confusing grannies with porn
Pretend to be an authority on censorship advising grannies at a bus stop that Razzle is the new Sunday suppliment in the Indepenant and record the results and complaints.
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:39, archived)
# FREE COLOUR SUPPLEMENT DAY*
Take copies of Razzle, slip them into the Daily Mail at your newsagents and document the results.

* Not a real suggestion
(I helped save b3ta! Manic can teach you the secret of fire, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:42, archived)
# and you
have done that too!
(Jazz Bloke Music has charms to soothe the savage breast, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:45, archived)
# i think
you have done this mr jecster, haven't you?
(Jazz Bloke Music has charms to soothe the savage breast, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:43, archived)
# VIdeo yourself dry-humping a range of inanimate objects in public areas
such as a pub jukebox, a shop window, a train ticket machine, etc.

Double the playback speed.

Add the theme tune to 'The Flumps' as a soundtrack.

Send it in.
(I helped save b3ta! Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:40, archived)
# Or the...
...Benny Hill chase music, "Yakety Sax" for comic effect :D
(Sartori is moving to Canada, eh?, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:54, archived)
# What's for dinner . com
for when you're nearly out of food and have no idea what to make with the seemingly unrelated items you have left.

a wiki-type database where you can input the meagre contents of your cupboard and/or fridge and it'll find you meal ideas or recipes.
(I helped save b3ta! Seventh is somewhat subdued, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:42, archived)
# What a good idea.
If it hasn't already been done somewhere... patent it! Quick!
(I helped save b3ta! Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:44, archived)
# This was on the links board a few weeks ago
Although it kept suggesting "bacon surprise"
(I helped save b3ta! The Coast Of Yemen, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:45, archived)
# oooh, does it exist?
got the link? or remember what it was called?
(I helped save b3ta! Seventh is somewhat subdued, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:54, archived)
# Alcohol free beer at work.
Keep a crate (or 2) of alcohol free lager under your desk at work, and drink repeatedly throughout a week at work, including during meeting / Tele conferences / staff interviews etc.
Make no secret that it is Alcohol Free, so that everyone knows it is Kaliber (or whatever). Keep a diary or the meetings your manager calls you in for. Include transcriptions of your justifications ("But it's alcohol free!" / "Ginger beer is OK, why not this?")

I'm genuinely curious what would happen. (But not enough to actually try this myself).
(I helped save b3ta! ArghZombies No longer has a Leaky QUIM, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:42, archived)
# heheh
there's a bottle of Absinthe in our office kitchen

booze outweighs tea by about 2:1
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:49, archived)
# Is that PISS one real?
If not it could be whipped up into a game for the Wii.
(I helped save b3ta! Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:46, archived)
# DrZaarlon...would like to inquire...
...What Are We? Your News Letter Writing Bitches?

www.helpmrwritemynewslettercosImalazyginger.com

[heheh.]
(DrZaarlon Witchspace To Ra!, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 13:51, archived)
# HOW LONG CAN A TODDLER HOLD IT'S BREATH UNDERWATER?
We ask Madaline to find out.
(I helped save b3ta! Crap Little Monkey Deathstar, so good they built it twice, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 14:48, archived)
# Muslim Taunting
Is there anyone stupid enough out there to tell veiled women how sexy they look?
(I helped save b3ta! Crap Little Monkey Deathstar, so good they built it twice, Fri 22 Jun 2007, 14:52, archived)