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# newsletter subject line compo
get wordy to get heardy
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:35, archived)
# Web feltch
(I helped save b3ta! Zak McFlimby Twibbling @McFlimby, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:35, archived)
# Don't you mean "LOL" Zak ? Isn't that your fave word ? :)
Always lolling around with your lols like a big lolly lollipop.
(I helped save b3ta! rabbitz, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:36, archived)
# lol-o-rofflepip!
(I helped save b3ta! Zak McFlimby Twibbling @McFlimby, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:38, archived)
# LLAMA !
waffle !
(I helped save b3ta! rabbitz, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:38, archived)
# B&Q Salez-o-copter
LMAOOOOooooooooooooooooo
(I helped save b3ta! Zak McFlimby Twibbling @McFlimby, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:40, archived)
# blee
(I helped save b3ta! rabbitz, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:42, archived)
#
moop
(I helped save b3ta! Zak McFlimby Twibbling @McFlimby, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:43, archived)
# S'cuse me, I want decking
I want decking

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:44, archived)
# :)
(I helped save b3ta! Zak McFlimby Twibbling @McFlimby, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:47, archived)
# Nicely done!
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:48, archived)
# hahahah arf!
(I helped save b3ta! Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:11, archived)
# SMACK!
*decks*
(I helped save b3ta! Just Flange, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:47, archived)
# *punches*



lightly on the arm
(I helped save b3ta! rabbitz, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:48, archived)
# OW!
OWOWOWOWOW! My arm!

*arm falls off*


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:51, archived)
# Haha !
Hey Dave, can you see my profile, I can't ? it seems to have disappeared, I only made one little change :(
(I helped save b3ta! rabbitz, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:55, archived)
# Bindun and better


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:36, archived)
# By whom I wonder ?
(I helped save b3ta! rabbitz, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:37, archived)
# *taps chin*
I zak have Mc no Flimby idea . . .


(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:39, archived)
# never heard of flim !
(I helped save b3ta! rabbitz, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:39, archived)
# Gobs of tit matter
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:36, archived)
# YOU'RE SHIT AT ART, ANDREW.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:36, archived)
# Your tax return should have been in yesterday
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:37, archived)
# so should my stepladder...
hmmmm.
(I helped save b3ta! blyerkit e k trilby, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:37, archived)
# I like this
Its funny because its true

*EDIT I wonder if Beadle had completed his tax return
(I helped save b3ta! Furness, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:38, archived)
# the anal creampie of your inbox
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:37, archived)
# Short man in coat, hat and beard seen at funeral.
Experts say Beadle could still be about
(Golden_guns247, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:37, archived)
# moob wanking your flacid member
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:38, archived)
# oh yes..... oh very yes.
(I helped save b3ta! Just Flange, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:45, archived)
# this deserves some respect
(I helped save b3ta! hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:45, archived)
# Giving a big hand to Jeremy Beadle since 2001
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:38, archived)
# And now we're taking 'em all back
you dieing bastard
(I helped save b3ta! Furness, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:39, archived)
# Winnar!
(I helped save b3ta! Droog is too orangey for crows, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:39, archived)
# ^^^
(I helped save b3ta! finnbar has officially retired, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:47, archived)
# RABBITS SHALL CONQUER ALL!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Dances with Rabbits Back to Education i go, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:38, archived)
# shitting in your cunt to get poofs to fuck you
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:39, archived)
# i did dun a drawding of that
which appeard in the b3ta book of sick jokes.

link on the front page, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy, buy...
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:26, archived)
# Casper the small-handed ghost.
(I helped save b3ta! Zak McFlimby Twibbling @McFlimby, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:39, archived)
# It's good but it's not that good because the b3ta image thing is Borked
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:39, archived)
# I HAVE A WINDMILL IN MY BEARD, YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:40, archived)
# Image Challenges: Discuss
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:40, archived)
# Wach out Beadles a ghost
(I helped save b3ta! enthusiastic amateur delurked at:, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:41, archived)
# heh :D
(I helped save b3ta! Droog is too orangey for crows, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:41, archived)
# It DRINKS YOUR MILKSHAKE!!!!

(Clawhand Luke Old bear! He likes the honey!, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:41, archived)
# lol beadle lol
(I helped save b3ta! Droog is too orangey for crows, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:41, archived)
# even crack whores think we are seedy
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:41, archived)
# fingering our own arse while wanking over cbeebies
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:43, archived)
# what will baby spice's baby be called?
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:43, archived)
# a good question
embryo spice?
(I helped save b3ta! Droog is too orangey for crows, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:44, archived)
# too highbrow
but it's the best i can come up with too, that or foetus spice, which is even higher brow and sounds somewhat like seasoning for cannibals
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:47, archived)
# Pro-Choice Spice
(I helped save b3ta! DLT's Musical Bonanza is totting up the p, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:11, archived)
# pretending to be a dog and sniffing you cunt
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:43, archived)
# give us yer money
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:43, archived)
# AN EVEN-HANDED SOURCE OF HUMOUR
(I helped save b3ta! le brian, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:44, archived)
# YES
(I helped save b3ta! Droog is too orangey for crows, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:44, archived)
# Bass Guitar for sale - see rob for details
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:44, archived)
# A small hand for the late Jeremy Beadle!
Uhh, sorry, best I could do..

Edit: Looks like somebody else had a similar suggestion :)
(I helped save b3ta! Jimmer still not dead at, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:44, archived)
# WHO NEEDS PUNCHLINES?
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:44, archived)
# We don't need no steeeekin' badges
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:45, archived)
# if you're wondering what the bottom of the barrel looks like, look up
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:45, archived)
# biro? check. condom? check. sandpaper? check. CHOCKS AWAY!
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:46, archived)
# YA MUM
(I helped save b3ta! Just Flange, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:46, archived)
# B3ta: Like pounding your bellend with a sledgehammer.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:46, archived)
# just listen for the squashing noise
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:46, archived)
# selling a bass guitar: http://snipurl.com/1yqkp
(I helped save b3ta! Just Flange, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:46, archived)
# As mad as an Air Canada Pilot
Edit

Or saner than an Air Canada Pilot
(I helped save b3ta! enthusiastic amateur delurked at:, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:47, archived)
# "More tea, Vicar"?
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:47, archived)
# BASS IS FOR GIMPS WITH NO TALENTS
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:47, archived)
# Fuck you.
well you're certainly getting nowt NOW, boyo
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:49, archived)
# haha! :D
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:50, archived)
# B3ta Newsletter -
WARNING - May contain news* and letters

*Maybe lies
(I helped save b3ta! Furness, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:47, archived)
# giving it to you doggy style as your arse is prettier than your face
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:48, archived)
# Newsletter: Hurdling into your gutterlap like a polecat
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:48, archived)
# 63% of nuns wear spiked bras and crotchless knickers. FACT.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:48, archived)
# Your mailbox is over it's size limit, please see you system administrator
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Strange Now Fully ISO 3103 Compliant!, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:48, archived)
# SQUID PLAY A MEAN BASS GUITAR
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:49, archived)
# rubbing dog shit on our arseholes and then going to the dogs home naked
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:50, archived)
# That was yesterday!

* How did you know
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:58, archived)
# CAKE
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:50, archived)
# OMG PYLONS!
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:50, archived)
# B3ta: Finding the lowest common denominator since 1942
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:50, archived)
# A Beadle in the hand is worth two normal sized hands!

Umm *exits stage left before carried off*
(I helped save b3ta! Jimmer still not dead at, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:51, archived)
# coming through your inbox like a bulbous postman
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:51, archived)
# Crashing ferries into the beach of bad taste
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:52, archived)
# Is semen meant to be green?
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:52, archived)
# having a lie in this weekend due to cot death
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:53, archived)
# Slamming the revolving door of truth
(I helped save b3ta! Koba http://sexycooladventures.blogspot.com/, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:54, archived)
# Fraser has group sex with pylons
'cos he loves them soooo much and thinks everyone should share his fascination with shoving his dick in between their big metal girdery beef curtains and feeling the electricity surging into his sack 'cos he loves PYLONS THAT FUCKING MUCH
(I helped save b3ta! Furness, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:54, archived)
# From Homer to Virgil to Dante to us -- civilisation's downward spiral to oblivion
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:55, archived)
# GAME FOR A DEATH
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:56, archived)
# "It looks like you're writing a letter!"
/paperclip
(I helped save b3ta! DLT's Musical Bonanza is totting up the p, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:56, archived)
# The b3ta newsletter: more fun than a pokey bum wank
(I helped save b3ta! Droog is too orangey for crows, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:56, archived)
# Watch out, Beadles about - to be set on fire in the Crematorium
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:57, archived)
# MARGINALLY LESS STRESSFUL THAN DEALING WITH SOLICITORS
(I helped save b3ta! mutster101 fell over, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:57, archived)
# we are anoying, we are the british legion, we do not forgive the germans we...erm ...
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:58, archived)
# "... On the other hand, it was twice as big".
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:59, archived)
# COMPLAINING ABOUT FRASER'S CHALLENGE PICKS SINCE 2001
(I helped save b3ta! mutster101 fell over, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 11:59, archived)
# MAN JOINS B3TA; BECOMES INSTANT MEME
full story inside
(I helped save b3ta! c_kick or, as some people call him, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:01, archived)
# 'Jeremy Beadles dying wish...'
(I helped save b3ta! DLT's Musical Bonanza is totting up the p, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:01, archived)
# Raining on your republican parade




(I helped save b3ta! Lynxkitten, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:02, archived)
# shooting white rabbits for fun
(I helped save b3ta! The man with the screaming brain has nothing but total respect for Annie Lennox, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:02, archived)
# It's one horse race & we're riding Hillary
(I helped save b3ta! Lynxkitten, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:02, archived)
# Spending your donations on family members salaries
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:03, archived)
# Ha ha
(I helped save b3ta! fuscous, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:06, archived)
# "FONDLING CHILDREN SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO"
(I helped save b3ta! mutster101 fell over, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:05, archived)
# Are you amazed at how quick and easy it is to prepare frozen food?
We fucking are.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:05, archived)
# ribbed for her pleasure, filled with Beadle jokes for yours
(I helped save b3ta! Lynxkitten, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:05, archived)
# Further decaying your already rotten moral values since 2001
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:06, archived)
# Undiluted pleasure thrust aggressively into your gaping inbox
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:07, archived)
# The mighty arbiter of the link
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:09, archived)
# The internet equivalent of pissing on a pylon
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:09, archived)
# Fully supporting the death penalty for MPs.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:10, archived)
# FUCK OFF I'M RICH NEWSLETTER

(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:10, archived)
# the thick, grey-white discharge oozing from your arse is the first sign you've been buggered too much
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:11, archived)
# B3ta: Hiring family members and over paying them out of your donations since 2001
(I helped save b3ta! theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:12, archived)
# Giving rapists lottery tickets since 2001
(I helped save b3ta! DLT's Musical Bonanza is totting up the p, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:12, archived)
# Donate now and receive a free golden shower
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:14, archived)
# B3ta's about
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:14, archived)
# ^ this!
(I helped save b3ta! Jimmer still not dead at, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:17, archived)
# hahaha
nicely done
(I helped save b3ta! Lynxkitten, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:20, archived)
# oh, this^
(I helped save b3ta! Droog is too orangey for crows, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:25, archived)
# ^ This & That ¬

* should be: "Watch Out - B3ta's About"
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:28, archived)
# This week: the black hole information paradox is solved; we dissect proust; and we fuck his rotten corpse
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:15, archived)
# B3ta: it's like reverse diarrhorea
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:16, archived)
# The only way to true happiness.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:16, archived)
# Waiting patiently until your guard is down before we strike
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:17, archived)
# POST A PICTURE OR FUCK OFF NOOB
(I helped save b3ta! sock more tea vicar?, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:17, archived)
# squirrels? with tits, you say?
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:18, archived)
# SCIENTISTS AGREE: INTERNET IS COCKSHAPED
(I helped save b3ta! c_kick or, as some people call him, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:18, archived)
# TOUCHED BY THE RIGHT HAND OF JEREMY BEADLE AND THE LEFT HAND OF AMY WINEHOUSE
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:20, archived)
# It's a
Palindrome Newsletter spunky tits....
(I helped save b3ta! glubglub should be working on, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:21, archived)
# Keeping up to date with the latest news, just to show Tony Blair who's boss.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:23, archived)
# "MY OTHER WEBSITE IS A PORSCHE"
(I helped save b3ta! c_kick or, as some people call him, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:23, archived)
# Anonymous Hubbard Lovers welcome here
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:23, archived)
# Have you ever considered a career in rape?
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 12:27, archived)
# Is it me, or is the right hand side of that cross smaller than the left?
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Fri 1 Feb 2008, 13:02, archived)
# This newsletter fucked your mum and she was shit
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Fri 1 Feb 2008, 13:41, archived)