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# help me finish the newsletter. Fill in the XXXs
STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.

Things we'd really like to see include

* XXX
* XXX
* XXX
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:46, archived)
# bums
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:47, archived)
# Biscuit Olympics
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:47, archived)
# A donkey with a walking stick
A mathematican given the ovation that they deserve and a choo choo train.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:47, archived)
# * DOLPHINS FOR PRESIDENT
* FREE EGGS FOR VEGETARIANS
* BOOBS
(I helped save b3ta! dogigniter - Saving the world one turkey ham wrap at a time -, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:47, archived)
# Women washing up naked,
Creme egg hand grenades and people who wear smoking jackets/cravats.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:47, archived)
# ^What he said^
(I helped save b3ta! Quijibo Esq. BSc. May contain traces of nuts, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:03, archived)
# my feet, it's been a long time.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:48, archived)
# Arf!
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:53, archived)
# i'm thinking
of trading them in for wheels
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:59, archived)
# profiteroles as Terrorist weapons
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:48, archived)
# The Early Learning Centre
I used to love their moulded resin model dinosaurs and wooden train sets.

Good times.
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:48, archived)
# They still exist man!
If you buy their Big City Garage, you get £25 worth of cars free!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:51, archived)
# Peter Stringfellow strung up by string
(asciifaceofbob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:48, archived)
# sophie ellis bextor in a blender
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:48, archived)
# Your mum
Your face
and I know you are but what am I?
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:48, archived)
# how about...
àðåíäà ìåáåëè ñòîëîâ ñòóëüåâ ïðîêàò ìåáåëè àðåíäà ãàçîâûõ îáîãðåâàòåëåé çâóêà àðåíäà ïðîåêòîðà ïðîäàæà ïðîêàò øàòðîâ àðåíäà øàòðîâ òåíòîâ çâóê ñâåò àðåíäà ïëàçìåííûõ ïàíåëåé
Àðåíäà ìåáåëè - àðåíäà ñòîëîâ, ñòóëüåâ, ïðîêàò ìåáåëè, à òàê æå àðåíäà îáîãðåâàòåëåé, àðåíäà øàòðà è àðåíäà òåíòà - ëó÷øåå ðåøåíèå äëÿ êîðïîðàòèâíûõ ìåðîïðèÿòèé ñâÿçàííûõ ñ âûåçäîì çà ãîðîä â ëþáóþ ïîãîäó!
arenda-shater.ru
Ìîñêâà Íèæåãîðîäñêàÿ äîì.74 ñòð.2
òåë. +8(495)660-38-84 ìíîãîêàíàëüíûé
(I helped save b3ta! yanmania... last shagged your mum on, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:48, archived)
# ^
this
(I helped save b3ta! dogigniter - Saving the world one turkey ham wrap at a time -, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:49, archived)
# HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY MOTHER
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:50, archived)
# how was i to know your mother was president of the ukraine?
(I helped save b3ta! yanmania... last shagged your mum on, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:50, archived)
# Richard Dawkins Versus Stephen Hawkings
In a battle of Dawks Vs Hawks.
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:48, archived)
# The winner's prize;
a date with Sue Perkins.
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:57, archived)
# runner up gets a merkin
(I helped save b3ta! yanmania... last shagged your mum on, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:00, archived)
# 3rd place gets a melvin?
?
(I helped save b3ta! awsm! namaste bitches, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:02, archived)
# with sporks
(I helped save b3ta! Winthorpe Sim-Sala-Bim, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:21, archived)
# ...
Christmas Tree Cocks
Interracial Turkey Gobbling
Stuffing
(I helped save b3ta! Troo Troo Barney McGrew, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:49, archived)
# a nice south african
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:49, archived)
# COWS FIGHTING
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:49, archived)
# fall dead cow i hope
(I helped save b3ta! PointlessCamel Last one on drugs is a queer., Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:50, archived)
# jams things in the cows twat
(I helped save b3ta! WormuIus, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:53, archived)
# Amazing
By happy chance, I watched it last night on DVD.
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:58, archived)
# wheelie bins converted in to housing for tramps
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:49, archived)
# or tramps converted into wheelie bins
(asciifaceofbob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:50, archived)
# now that's progress!
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:51, archived)
# would keep the unemployment figures down too
(asciifaceofbob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:52, archived)
# and reduce waste
commission this now!
(I helped save b3ta! dogigniter - Saving the world one turkey ham wrap at a time -, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:54, archived)
# are tramps registered unemployed?
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:54, archived)
# Like this?
(Vic_Twenty No mess, no fuss, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:55, archived)
# this is why we have to make it work!
the current design is clearly impractical
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:57, archived)
# A Lamington
A neinish tart
and one of those frog cakes from adelaide.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:49, archived)
# cliff richards off his tits on acid in a gay bar
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:50, archived)
# I'd pay to see this
(asciifaceofbob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:50, archived)
# give us £750 and I'll do you a video
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:51, archived)
# CLIFF!
My mum loves you!
(I helped save b3ta! Troo Troo Barney McGrew, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:53, archived)
# Blimey
You're cheap ;)
(asciifaceofbob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:56, archived)
# so would i
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:53, archived)
# Been reading his autobiography, eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:53, archived)
# nope
i can only read so much about godbothering before i want to eat my own feet in protest.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:54, archived)
# Yes, but the chapter where he was off his tits on acid in a gay bar
was ace.

You'd never have thought Una Stubbs would perform such acts.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:03, archived)
# i would
i always knew she was a dirty bitch, just look at the way she used to tease worzel gummidge!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:06, archived)
# How much you can barter the price of Pick n Mix down to, now that they'll be needing to get shot of all stock
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:50, archived)
# christmas games?
I'll make a b3ta themed one
(I helped save b3ta! yanmania... last shagged your mum on, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:50, archived)
# photographs of Rob when he doesn't know he's bring photographed..
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:50, archived)
#
farm1.static.flickr.com/1/202620_d9cbf93743.jpg?v=0
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:56, archived)
# I meant more like from behind a hedge on his way to work
...stuff like that.

... all the b3tans stalking him in large packs
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:58, archived)
# Hiding webcams in his loo?
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:06, archived)
# Christmas ice cream
Turkey and mince pie flavour
or Stuffing and Christmas Pudding
or cracker and fairy light flavour
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:50, archived)
# Motorised Teabag Carousel
Vintage Bottled Farts - do they get better with age?
Gravy Milkshake
Pretend strawberry laces are your veins
oh I don't know
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:50, archived)
# jiggling titties
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:50, archived)
# i must say i'm rather partial to this sort of thing
(I helped save b3ta! yanmania... last shagged your mum on, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:52, archived)
# *jiggles*
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:55, archived)
# Always a winner.

(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:54, archived)
# You're a fucking genius boy
Let me write you a cheque
(asciifaceofbob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:54, archived)
# you've answered our prayers here in Hollywoooood
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:57, archived)
# *A baby on stilts
*A cat in an exhaust pipe
*Diana Ross dressed as Elton John
(I helped save b3ta! Addyjoe, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:50, archived)
# More lego creations, so send me all your lego!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:50, archived)
# Lesbians
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:50, archived)
# charles riding camilla in the donkey derby
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:50, archived)
# FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO PAUL HENDY, THEN KILL HIM WITH STONES
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:50, archived)
#
body popping cats
credit crunch shoes
dust moulded into famous sculptures
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:50, archived)
# Manley.
(I helped save b3ta! LordManley twitter.com/LordManley, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:51, archived)
# Ultimate Recipe Generator
Have a voting page and say whether two ingredients work well together, and use the results to generate the ultimate dish.
(Plastic Goldfish, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:51, archived)
# jeremy clarkson in drag
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:51, archived)
# A teasmade that makes a nice cup of tea
or preferably coffee
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:51, archived)
# ^ *votes for this*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:52, archived)
# Pop Rocks candy on bread then feed to pigeons
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:52, archived)
# Can you EAT your own face?
(I helped save b3ta! Sir T. Skellington, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:52, archived)
# A giant game of guess who using real identical twins.
decapitation optional.
(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:52, archived)
# moat boats for floating goats in coats
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:53, archived)
# XXX home movies
XXX pictures of your mum
XXX home made food
(Your watch is still saving for 5K but has learnt about 'nose bondage', Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:53, archived)
# Kittens with lazers,
ipods with blue LED underglow,
Robots with tits.
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:53, archived)
# ^ this
(I helped save b3ta! Troo Troo Barney McGrew, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:55, archived)
# three-egg omelette
Every Saturday, the butter obsessed calorie death chef, James Martin challenges other food berks to cook a (raw) three-egg omelette as fast as possible.
Beat them as their own game, by using a jet engine off a harrier or something much hotter.

(waxdart hello., Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:55, archived)
# bored of the credit crunch? start a credit boom!
video yourself running around the City of London shouting "it's all going to be alright! I've got the answer! we're rich! rich I tells you!" and see if the happy optimism makes everything alright again.
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:55, archived)
# I love this idea
(asciifaceofbob bob bob bob bob bob bob bob, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:09, archived)
# Kitchen blenders converted into rc helicopters that still look like blenders.
(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:55, archived)
# How much stuff can you buy with £10.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:56, archived)
# Celebrityhorsebox.com
Coverage and betting on minor celebrities locked in a horsebox...or something
(I helped save b3ta! BrassMonkey PRUNES ARE PLUMS! WAKE UP SHEEPLE!, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:56, archived)
# Christmas shit.
What you shit looks like after a mixture of rum, turkey, brussels , miniature heroes and all that other stuff you only have at xmas.

/maybe for a later issue.
(I helped save b3ta! @RBFesquire Good luck b3ta, was nice knowing you. So long., Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:56, archived)
# Food landscapes.
Take some food, make a landscape scene, and then vote for where in the world is tastiest!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:57, archived)
# Yes.
(I helped save b3ta! Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:01, archived)
# john mccririck having his face eaten off by rabid mongooses
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:57, archived)
# Robot imposter
Build a robot of yourself, and see if you can fool anyone into thinking it's really you.
(I helped save b3ta! Bloop Fri 16 Jul, 22:10, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:57, archived)
# i haven't got that much metal!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:01, archived)
# what we'd really like to see...
Can you microwave lead into gold?

Bring the outdoors indoors; BBQing adventures in front of the telly.

Turn your pet (or someone else's pet) into a superhero (no photo-shopping or unecessary cruelty allowed).
(magaski has been lactating since, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 11:58, archived)
# Confectionary Scotch Eggs
Inject a Jelly with custard and then wrap it in icing covered in hundreds and thousands.

or crushed digestive breadcrumbs, mashed up mars bar for the meat and a whole cream egg for the middle

Or, Chocolate coating, marshmallow and, jammy middle. Oh, that's tunnocks teacake
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:00, archived)
# Teacakes do not have jam.
You've been mislead.
(I helped save b3ta! Quijibo Esq. BSc. May contain traces of nuts, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:09, archived)
# There's definitely a jammy middled similar device
maybe its a supermarket's own one
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:13, archived)
# Something rude/funny fashioned in Christmas Lights & LEDS
Something rude fashioned in Christmas Lights & LEDS

I'm planning a "Merry Xmas Pikey Scum" display.
(I helped save b3ta! Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:01, archived)
# Stephen Hawking
on Hole in the Wall
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:02, archived)
# ^this!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:09, archived)
# "Fuck, what's for dinner?" search engine
you tell it what you have in the cupboard/fridge, it suggests what you can make for dinner, with minimum extra-ingredient-buying.
(I helped save b3ta! Seventh is somewhat subdued, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:05, archived)
# Please see here:
www.bbc.co.uk/food
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:13, archived)
# Create a homunculous of yourself from Spam or corned beef
It must be capable of standing on its own two legs
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:05, archived)
# need to combine this with my robot one
(I helped save b3ta! Bloop Fri 16 Jul, 22:10, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:14, archived)
# processed meat and metal, its the future!
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:16, archived)
# Holding your breath.
You don't just have to hold your breath under water.

Under false pretences or contempt of court are some things to hold your breath under.

Post your pics of you holding your breath under things.
(waxdart hello., Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:05, archived)
# Okey dokey:
*How much snot can you collect in a week?

*Eat different foodstuffs to change the colour of your poo and then paint with it.

*Collect creepy crawlies and make them fight each other...what will win in "Spider Vs Earwig"?
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:10, archived)
# Can anyone find anything in sainsbury's
with more red pie-chart traffic light things than my pack or tortilla chips - 4 out of 5 red pie slices yeah baby!
(I helped save b3ta! P3te "the Meat", Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:14, archived)
# what colour is the 5th slice?
this is the important question

their cheesecakes have 4 red and one orange.
(I helped save b3ta! Bloop Fri 16 Jul, 22:10, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:32, archived)
# Strawberry cheescake
4 red and 1 orange! Beats your low sugar crisps :D

www.sainsburys.com/media/images/products/OISL011/01002263_OISL011_2_Spec2_v1_m56577569833731289.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Bloop Fri 16 Jul, 22:10, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:40, archived)
# Pub 'Guess Who'
One person has to think of a random in the pub, the other has 3 tries to guess who it is. If they fail, stand up and shout, "I'm a queer" at said person and film the results. Extra points for having your wang out whilst shouting.
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:33, archived)
# upside down disabled people
with the url upsidedowns.com
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 28 Nov 2008, 12:45, archived)