Now that b3ta is back, time for worthless shit! time for worthless shit!
(
discomeats This canoe,
Mon 21 Feb 2011, 2:19,
archived)
I kind of want to dick.How do I dick?
(
I smash things in my sleep uruk-hai ...and I'll look low. Now where'd they go?,
Mon 21 Feb 2011, 3:03,
archived)
If you need to askyou may never know.
(
gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Mon 21 Feb 2011, 3:22,
archived)
flanbase ingredients1 part freebase/1 part new fuck
EDIT: oh, happy fuckday mo
(,
Mon 21 Feb 2011, 3:05,
archived)
EDIT: oh, happy fuckday mo
It says ... Happy Bloody B3taday Mofaha, only done like shit.
I smash things in my sleep uruk-hai ...and I'll look low. Now where'd they go?,
Mon 21 Feb 2011, 3:07,
archived)
hahahah
Edit: on an unrelated question, why does the Queen Margaret II of Denmark's coat of arms features a pair of naked guys in it?
Don't stomp on my cat mount.
(
I smash things in my sleep uruk-hai ...and I'll look low. Now where'd they go?,
Mon 21 Feb 2011, 3:09,
archived)
Might be for cutting bonesthey're wiggling blades :P
(
Antubis right round, like a record, lion,
Mon 21 Feb 2011, 1:17,
archived)
I blame the rain, I do.
I smash things in my sleep uruk-hai ...and I'll look low. Now where'd they go?,
Mon 21 Feb 2011, 2:00,
archived)
think this has been donebut woo anyway ;D ,
has anyone else done the push from behind trick while your mate is having a piss? I have... try it it's hilarious, but be warned- beatings may occur
(has anyone else done the push from behind trick while your mate is having a piss? I have... try it it's hilarious, but be warned- beatings may occur
FIEND,
Mon 21 Feb 2011, 0:48,
archived)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!
(
I smash things in my sleep uruk-hai ...and I'll look low. Now where'd they go?,
Mon 21 Feb 2011, 2:01,
archived)
![[challenge entry]](/images/board_posticon_c.gif "Challenge Entry: Film Aftermath"){kind=small}
The film was a front... that allowed him to realize a childhood dream.
Flash_Bastard,
Mon 21 Feb 2011, 0:31,
archived)
I took the 3:10 to insanity.
I smash things in my sleep uruk-hai ...and I'll look low. Now where'd they go?,
Mon 21 Feb 2011, 2:04,
archived)
I must admitI did click my b3ta bookmark on more than one occasion, and when b3ta failed to load I remember that it was down, and I felt a twinge of pain :c
( xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c.,
Mon 21 Feb 2011, 0:01,
archived)
^thist'was like putting food out for the cat and then remebering it had died.
(
Filthy narwhal titty titty tits tits tits,
Mon 21 Feb 2011, 0:25,
archived)
yeahand wasn't going to come back to life for a few more hours
( 4Q just lurking,
Mon 21 Feb 2011, 0:27,
archived)
Hahahah what an analogy."Mittens! Mitteeennnns! oh where is that blasted cat.... oh. Oh no. Oh no oh no :( it's dead."
( xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c.,
Mon 21 Feb 2011, 0:38,
archived)
It's back!Hooray!
Anybody know what they did?
(Anybody know what they did?
barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!,
Sun 20 Feb 2011, 23:58,
archived)
todayI disovered that the rest of the internet has no content. Welcome back
(
mamilla_sarsum um... a vial is enough, no jam-jars please,
Mon 21 Feb 2011, 0:01,
archived)
^this
(
xihpete A neutrino walks straight through a bar, with v>c.,
Mon 21 Feb 2011, 0:38,
archived)
So...what's broken then?
I know /search/ is down.
(I know /search/ is down.
robtoo is all out of gum,
Sun 20 Feb 2011, 23:37,
archived)
Just my delicate heart, as far as I can see.
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ,
Sun 20 Feb 2011, 23:38,
archived)
down in front! I'm trying to drive
PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Sun 20 Feb 2011, 23:41,
archived)
My wife keep coming up with ideas for songs to link for you.She knows her fair share of crap old songs but I'm holding out for something really infectious. I owe you.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ,
Sun 20 Feb 2011, 23:46,
archived)
thanks :DYour wife is USAian?
( PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Sun 20 Feb 2011, 23:48,
archived)
why-i-oughtta...!! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:38,
archived)
I am unaware of a time when it is not baby gnops timelike hammer time it should be celebrated always.
(
Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes.,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:39,
archived)
As a newbie on here, I thought I'd share a little insight into my world. I spend a lot of time on planes and have time to write. I wrote this recently coming back from Japan.I hope this is in the right place. If not, then I apologise in advance :)
Tales of an international DJ.
What you are about to read is a true account documenting 12 hours of a recent trip to Japan. As an international DJ, it’s part of my job description to visit strange and far lands to entertain masses of people. Sounds great you might think, but realistically, most of the time, I’m severely jet-lagged and linguistically challenged. Every weekend I find myself having conversations in broken English about “DJ techniques” in front of 120db of sound system. Combined with the 24/7 travelling and “1984” style airport restrictions, it gets a little taxing after nearly 20 years or so. Anyway, I digress… I’ve been in some bizarre situations before but this one takes the biscuit…or should I say rice-cracker!
Its 6pm in Central Tokyo, but my bowels are saying its 9am in London. Last nights sushi wants to be rejoined with its friends in the Sea of Japan and I’m desperately trying to find a toilet. I hunt down the nearest gaming arcade and enter. I find the toilets and after many tense minutes of deliberation staring at the two signs on the doors I think I’ve recognised the Kanji characters for “gents”. Saiko! To my delight, I’m correct. And it isn’t one of those stand up, dodge your Y-Fronts efforts either that are commonly found in Japan. After a quick run down and check-list of all the electronic functions on the toilet’s remote control, the bullet train is ready for departure. A couple of strategic coughs later and I’m wallowing in self satisfaction, enjoying the subtle rush of endorphins that are whizzing around my brain. I sit there for a while longer, taking in the pleasurable experience of a heated toilet seat when I hear these manic, shuffling footsteps echoing down the marble stairs leading to the toilets, followed by the cack-handed fumbling of an over complicated belt. I thought, ‘I know that sound. That’s the sound of a gambler. He’s left it until the last minute. Put it off all day. He’s bet it all on black and it’s come up red for the last 3 spins. It’s double or nothing time’. I wince as I hear the buckle resisting, privately egging him on to succeed in his mission. The door slams shut in the cubicle next to me at the same time I hear the muffled thump of his jeans and pants hitting the floor. A well executed move. As I listen in, he’s speaking in tongue like a Kamakazi pilot uttering a Shinto prayer seconds before impact. And then it happened…… a second’s silence…… before a high-pitched “HAI! HAI!” instantly followed by a cataclysmic eruption into the bowl that I’m sure would have rocked the needles at the Tokyo earthquake warning centre. I laughed so hard that, had I not already been, I would have shit myself!
We fast forward now to 10pm and I’m with my Japanese agent. Also with me is a friend from London and the promoters for the event, sitting in a restaurant in the China town district of a city called Uitsonomyia. I only know that it was China town because I was told. Couldn’t differentiate myself. I hear Shanghai has one of the best China towns at the moment. Must make a note to visit. After a healthy supper of Wok flavoured grease and snake alcohol we saunter across the road to the club. Upon entering I’m told by my Japanese agent (we’ll call him Dave from now on to protect his identity) that this is a notorious Gangster club, owned and frequented often by the Japanese Yakuza and the Chinese Triads. Having played a lot in Russia, I was accustomed to hob-nobbing with such characters and therefore this was nothing new to me and knew how to handle myself in such situations. Golden rule: be polite and don’t do anything stupid! After many introductions to the “family” we were taken to the VIP area, which consisted of 3 black leather sofas arranged in a semi-circle configuration. Great, I though, my back hurts after all that bowing. I’ll plonk myself down on the middle couch and let’s get someone to bring some drinks over. I hadn’t sat down for more than 3 seconds when this tall guy comes over dressed in a brand new shiny blue shell suit. I didn’t know Japan had a Moss Side! Politely but firmly he asked me in broken English not to sit on that particular sofa as it was reserved for The Boss. Not wanting to offend within minutes of being there, I comply and sit on the sofa to the side offering my apology to the tall, shiny bloke. A good move, as it turns out he was the “right-hand man” to the local Yakuza boss. A waiter then appeared and it was explained to me by Mr. Shiny and translated by Dave that he was my personal assistant for the evening and if I need anything, I should just give him a shout. I order conservatively at first, starting out with whisky for me, Dave and my English mate.
It was about the time the first drinks arrived that I caught sight of the The Boss. I would guestimate he was about 45 and he looked the bollocks in a black suit with a black roll-neck and draped in plenty of silver bling. He really looked the fucking biz! I half expected John Woo to appear out of the sliding paper and wood-framed doors.
The Suntory was flowing and we were getting into the swing of things, drinking and smoking in this VIP area when my English mate wanted to light his ciggy. He couldn’t find his inscribed Zippo. After some frantic searching and to no avail, he was convinced and completely over run with English mentality, that it had been blagged, In his infinite wisdom he decided to share the fact with us at the top of his voice, claiming “The Mafia has nicked my lighter!” Now this wouldn’t have been a problem in a loud club, except the second he started the accusation with the word “The”, the tune playing on the system went into a silent breakdown, allowing a room full of Gangster No.1’s to deliberate on what they have just heard. I froze for a few seconds and when I finally had the courage to move, I looked round to see Dave with his head in his hands and my English mate staring at his fingers, probably deciding which one he needed the least. But, we got away with it. It went un-noticed.
I played my set.
As I was putting my last record back in my bag, I was met by Mr. Shiny and escorted back to the VIP area. “My Boss meet him you will” he said (giving Yoda a run for his Yen) as we walked back. Nervous but excited, I agreed. So as I got back to the VIP room I was invited to sit on the middle sofa. A great honour. The only problem was that The Boss didn’t speak English, so I pressed Dave to translate. He, however, wasn’t allowed to sit on the sofa, so he ended up kneeling on the floor in front of us the whole time. The conversation was almost flowing, but certainly not as well as the whisky. I stared to relax in his company, getting all the more pissed as time went on. At about 4am he suddenly stood up startling me, and everyone in the VIP room froze. He shouted some order at Mr Shiny Shell Suit, waving his hands manically as the tracksuit disappeared. 5 minutes passed before Mr Shiny returned, carrying a bottle. It was a gift. For me! The honours were coming thick and fast this night. A 21 year old bottle of Suntory whisky. Not wanting to offend, I asked Dave if it was okay for me to open it there and then. “Of course”, he said, “Go ahead. Let’s drink more”. So me, Dave and The Boss ended up drinking the whole fucking thing in 2 hours flat. Guards were being let down by this point and let’s put it into perspective quickly. The Boss is a guy that if you want to speak to him, you have to get permission first.
Fuelled by the booze and seeing an opportunity, craftiness got the better of me. Spurred on by the drink and brimming with confidence I decided to see how far I could push this entertaining evening and the boundaries of my cheekiness. Find the limits of the box, I thought, and put a couple of toes beyond it. A couple of toes? In hindsight I ended putting my whole fucking leg out there! Here I was with The Don looking like a negative photo of John Travolta and were we not in a dance club? I hadn’t seen him put one foot in front of the other the whole night. Yanking him by the arm, I got him to his feet. “Let’s see how you boys get down”, I said. Not understanding my English but realising my intentions, he took the bait and started to rave it up. Fairly well I must add. It wasn’t long before I had my arm round his shoulder, circled by a crowd of dancers, doing the fucking Can-can, singing “Der der d-d-d-d der der d-d-d-d-d”. I even thought it appropriate to put him in a headlock and give him a knuckle-rub to the head! At this point (unbeknownst to me) that everyone else had stopped dancing and was looking on in amazement.
It was a shame when 6am came about and the tom-tom foolery came to an end, but I think Dave was more relieved than anyone that we got out of there alive with all fingers intact. It’s not every day you meet a Yakuza Boss, let alone give a public duet display of Knees Up Mother Brown!
Oh by the way, with my new contacts, I’m thinking of going into the money lending business. I can offer good rates of 150% payback by the end of the week or your pinky gets it!!!
(,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:02,
archived)
Tales of an international DJ.
What you are about to read is a true account documenting 12 hours of a recent trip to Japan. As an international DJ, it’s part of my job description to visit strange and far lands to entertain masses of people. Sounds great you might think, but realistically, most of the time, I’m severely jet-lagged and linguistically challenged. Every weekend I find myself having conversations in broken English about “DJ techniques” in front of 120db of sound system. Combined with the 24/7 travelling and “1984” style airport restrictions, it gets a little taxing after nearly 20 years or so. Anyway, I digress… I’ve been in some bizarre situations before but this one takes the biscuit…or should I say rice-cracker!
Its 6pm in Central Tokyo, but my bowels are saying its 9am in London. Last nights sushi wants to be rejoined with its friends in the Sea of Japan and I’m desperately trying to find a toilet. I hunt down the nearest gaming arcade and enter. I find the toilets and after many tense minutes of deliberation staring at the two signs on the doors I think I’ve recognised the Kanji characters for “gents”. Saiko! To my delight, I’m correct. And it isn’t one of those stand up, dodge your Y-Fronts efforts either that are commonly found in Japan. After a quick run down and check-list of all the electronic functions on the toilet’s remote control, the bullet train is ready for departure. A couple of strategic coughs later and I’m wallowing in self satisfaction, enjoying the subtle rush of endorphins that are whizzing around my brain. I sit there for a while longer, taking in the pleasurable experience of a heated toilet seat when I hear these manic, shuffling footsteps echoing down the marble stairs leading to the toilets, followed by the cack-handed fumbling of an over complicated belt. I thought, ‘I know that sound. That’s the sound of a gambler. He’s left it until the last minute. Put it off all day. He’s bet it all on black and it’s come up red for the last 3 spins. It’s double or nothing time’. I wince as I hear the buckle resisting, privately egging him on to succeed in his mission. The door slams shut in the cubicle next to me at the same time I hear the muffled thump of his jeans and pants hitting the floor. A well executed move. As I listen in, he’s speaking in tongue like a Kamakazi pilot uttering a Shinto prayer seconds before impact. And then it happened…… a second’s silence…… before a high-pitched “HAI! HAI!” instantly followed by a cataclysmic eruption into the bowl that I’m sure would have rocked the needles at the Tokyo earthquake warning centre. I laughed so hard that, had I not already been, I would have shit myself!
We fast forward now to 10pm and I’m with my Japanese agent. Also with me is a friend from London and the promoters for the event, sitting in a restaurant in the China town district of a city called Uitsonomyia. I only know that it was China town because I was told. Couldn’t differentiate myself. I hear Shanghai has one of the best China towns at the moment. Must make a note to visit. After a healthy supper of Wok flavoured grease and snake alcohol we saunter across the road to the club. Upon entering I’m told by my Japanese agent (we’ll call him Dave from now on to protect his identity) that this is a notorious Gangster club, owned and frequented often by the Japanese Yakuza and the Chinese Triads. Having played a lot in Russia, I was accustomed to hob-nobbing with such characters and therefore this was nothing new to me and knew how to handle myself in such situations. Golden rule: be polite and don’t do anything stupid! After many introductions to the “family” we were taken to the VIP area, which consisted of 3 black leather sofas arranged in a semi-circle configuration. Great, I though, my back hurts after all that bowing. I’ll plonk myself down on the middle couch and let’s get someone to bring some drinks over. I hadn’t sat down for more than 3 seconds when this tall guy comes over dressed in a brand new shiny blue shell suit. I didn’t know Japan had a Moss Side! Politely but firmly he asked me in broken English not to sit on that particular sofa as it was reserved for The Boss. Not wanting to offend within minutes of being there, I comply and sit on the sofa to the side offering my apology to the tall, shiny bloke. A good move, as it turns out he was the “right-hand man” to the local Yakuza boss. A waiter then appeared and it was explained to me by Mr. Shiny and translated by Dave that he was my personal assistant for the evening and if I need anything, I should just give him a shout. I order conservatively at first, starting out with whisky for me, Dave and my English mate.
It was about the time the first drinks arrived that I caught sight of the The Boss. I would guestimate he was about 45 and he looked the bollocks in a black suit with a black roll-neck and draped in plenty of silver bling. He really looked the fucking biz! I half expected John Woo to appear out of the sliding paper and wood-framed doors.
The Suntory was flowing and we were getting into the swing of things, drinking and smoking in this VIP area when my English mate wanted to light his ciggy. He couldn’t find his inscribed Zippo. After some frantic searching and to no avail, he was convinced and completely over run with English mentality, that it had been blagged, In his infinite wisdom he decided to share the fact with us at the top of his voice, claiming “The Mafia has nicked my lighter!” Now this wouldn’t have been a problem in a loud club, except the second he started the accusation with the word “The”, the tune playing on the system went into a silent breakdown, allowing a room full of Gangster No.1’s to deliberate on what they have just heard. I froze for a few seconds and when I finally had the courage to move, I looked round to see Dave with his head in his hands and my English mate staring at his fingers, probably deciding which one he needed the least. But, we got away with it. It went un-noticed.
I played my set.
As I was putting my last record back in my bag, I was met by Mr. Shiny and escorted back to the VIP area. “My Boss meet him you will” he said (giving Yoda a run for his Yen) as we walked back. Nervous but excited, I agreed. So as I got back to the VIP room I was invited to sit on the middle sofa. A great honour. The only problem was that The Boss didn’t speak English, so I pressed Dave to translate. He, however, wasn’t allowed to sit on the sofa, so he ended up kneeling on the floor in front of us the whole time. The conversation was almost flowing, but certainly not as well as the whisky. I stared to relax in his company, getting all the more pissed as time went on. At about 4am he suddenly stood up startling me, and everyone in the VIP room froze. He shouted some order at Mr Shiny Shell Suit, waving his hands manically as the tracksuit disappeared. 5 minutes passed before Mr Shiny returned, carrying a bottle. It was a gift. For me! The honours were coming thick and fast this night. A 21 year old bottle of Suntory whisky. Not wanting to offend, I asked Dave if it was okay for me to open it there and then. “Of course”, he said, “Go ahead. Let’s drink more”. So me, Dave and The Boss ended up drinking the whole fucking thing in 2 hours flat. Guards were being let down by this point and let’s put it into perspective quickly. The Boss is a guy that if you want to speak to him, you have to get permission first.
Fuelled by the booze and seeing an opportunity, craftiness got the better of me. Spurred on by the drink and brimming with confidence I decided to see how far I could push this entertaining evening and the boundaries of my cheekiness. Find the limits of the box, I thought, and put a couple of toes beyond it. A couple of toes? In hindsight I ended putting my whole fucking leg out there! Here I was with The Don looking like a negative photo of John Travolta and were we not in a dance club? I hadn’t seen him put one foot in front of the other the whole night. Yanking him by the arm, I got him to his feet. “Let’s see how you boys get down”, I said. Not understanding my English but realising my intentions, he took the bait and started to rave it up. Fairly well I must add. It wasn’t long before I had my arm round his shoulder, circled by a crowd of dancers, doing the fucking Can-can, singing “Der der d-d-d-d der der d-d-d-d-d”. I even thought it appropriate to put him in a headlock and give him a knuckle-rub to the head! At this point (unbeknownst to me) that everyone else had stopped dancing and was looking on in amazement.
It was a shame when 6am came about and the tom-tom foolery came to an end, but I think Dave was more relieved than anyone that we got out of there alive with all fingers intact. It’s not every day you meet a Yakuza Boss, let alone give a public duet display of Knees Up Mother Brown!
Oh by the way, with my new contacts, I’m thinking of going into the money lending business. I can offer good rates of 150% payback by the end of the week or your pinky gets it!!!
edit : ok i think you've posted this in the wrong section....
(
SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:03,
archived)
It looks like a cock, only smaller?
Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:22,
archived)
mommy, where are we? PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:07,
archived)
Try here:www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/
Might get a better reception.
(Might get a better reception.
Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...",
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:08,
archived)
I really should make a bad version of those two. mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:11,
archived)
But there is only one? Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:19,
archived)
TL:DR
Your post makes me kill fluffy animals and eat them.
Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes.,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:11,
archived)
Now this is a good example of an 8/10 pointer in the post fail category.
(
Mu Dinofiddler,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:11,
archived)
"…or should I say rice-cracker!"How hard did you laugh at that? Out of 10.
(
Ttssattsr,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:12,
archived)
I can offer good rates of 150% payback by the end of the week or your pinky gets it!!! Ttssattsr,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:21,
archived)
Normally I wouldn't suggest this...but in this case...
atomic A-bomb-a-nation,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:11,
archived)
big head saucer guy has come to take down your b3tas
HappyToast Groat froth,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:52,
archived)
whoah!not touching them...
not touching them...
not touching them...
not touching them...
(not touching them...
not touching them...
not touching them...
PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:56,
archived)
MORE SAUSAGES !!Haha this is fantastic toasty.. What is it for?
( FIEND,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:57,
archived)
just making some more tat for the virtual movie studio thing I do HappyToast Groat froth,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:59,
archived)
is this ant or dec?i'm confussed
( SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:03,
archived)
He's just looking for something to fix with his tiny clippy claws.Hide your nips or he'll pinch them.
(
cowcat Bituminous squeegee,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:33,
archived)
I used to have an animation pipeline, but lost it. Have some static.
I smash things in my sleep uruk-hai ...and I'll look low. Now where'd they go?,
Mon 21 Feb 2011, 2:14,
archived)
mess his shit right up, cat Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:36,
archived)
i am in danger of vomitingso i think i'll cart myself off to bed.
see you all monday, g'night!
(see you all monday, g'night!
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:44,
archived)
Said in the accent of 'the devil' Stephen FrenchA rottweeeeler
(,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:38,
archived)
not as much fun as laser-guided cat bowling, but still entertainingEDIT: b3tabunker.ning.com/ is down due to inactivity !!
I sent a message to the 'creator' to request it be reactivated
PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:48,
archived)
never heard it :P PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:57,
archived)
Goddamit.Not surprised really. I only know it because someone I knew used to play it sometimes.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:00,
archived)
*counterattacks*(
PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:08,
archived)
Hahaha"miss".
Another one my wife knows, but I've never heard of it.
(Another one my wife knows, but I've never heard of it.
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:13,
archived)
Here, it ties in nicely to one of your earlier ploys(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:16,
archived)
ah ha ha!I used to sing that in the hallway at high school to annoy people.
( PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:21,
archived)
is there still a forum on Rob's page we can hide in? HappyToast Groat froth,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:08,
archived)
Right on home lolThis is great!
( Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:25,
archived)
Although Puppies always win over pussies!
Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 23:28,
archived)
Hey b3ta, I made you a picture!
[Edit: well done everybody! :) ]
From Rothko's oft-neglected 'Jolly Romania' period.
Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:15,
archived)
There's space left on that building that could have spunk written on it.3/10
( Ttssattsr,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:17,
archived)
It's like my next ponchoCheers dude :)
( Jahled Three shades of black,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:10,
archived)
i stack my towels like that too Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:23,
archived)
And I made it 3d!
I smash things in my sleep uruk-hai ...and I'll look low. Now where'd they go?,
Mon 21 Feb 2011, 1:54,
archived)
i read that as "queer you up"...o-er!
howdy tttoaster - how goes?
(howdy tttoaster - how goes?
SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:18,
archived)
i am adequatethis is suffient
please continue the b3ta
(please continue the b3ta
SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:22,
archived)
It's horrific isn't itI shall have to get on a train and go somewhere with an agonised frown away from London
( Jahled Three shades of black,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:12,
archived)
Remember the other year when it was down for three months!!!!THREE FUCKING MONTHS!
( Mstandot I suppose I should post more often.,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:17,
archived)
Was that the time we had one of those PHPBB boards? That was a giggle. Ttssattsr,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:18,
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I think that was after "the great fire" Mstandot I suppose I should post more often.,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:26,
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The great fireon the night of the 2009 London bash!
Hilarious telling that to people; we didn't take a night off from this place, it literally closed down after us
(Hilarious telling that to people; we didn't take a night off from this place, it literally closed down after us
Jahled Three shades of black,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:29,
archived)
I wonder if the b3ta Bunker is still active from Hurricane Katrina PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:51,
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I hate this movie - the main character's such an unscrupulous bitch, but no one wants to admit it(, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:01, archived)
you found this right? :-)clicks btw
(
The Twisted Omentum vidi vici veni,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:03,
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see, it's stuff like thisthat causes uncontrollable giggling at inappropriate moments, which in turn causes my nearest and dearest to consider having me committed
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:09,
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It's good to have a bit of commitment. Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:30,
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Fortunately, your fate rests in the hands of the sober, considered voice of the people.What should be done with Smash Monkey?
( Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:38,
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*awaits outcome* Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:42,
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WHO VOTED TO HAVE ME COMMITTED? Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:47,
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Your nearest and dearest? ;) Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:50,
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they never come herethank fuck
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:52,
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Better renew your passport, by the looks of things.I reckon you'll do an even better job than Geri Halliwell.
And you might get a chance to pinch Nelson Mandela's arse.
(And you might get a chance to pinch Nelson Mandela's arse.
Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:57,
archived)
need to renew my passport soon anywayi look nothing like my passport photo any more.
not that i'd want to pinch Nelson Mandela's arse, of course
(not that i'd want to pinch Nelson Mandela's arse, of course
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 21:00,
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Of course.He's ill enough without having his arse stolen by a pesky junior work colleague.
( Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 21:05,
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And as you can see, your public loves you by an overwhelming majority.So sod your nearest and dearest and section 8 of the Mental Health Act.
( Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 21:15,
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i'm slightly worried about the 4 that want me stuffed and mounted Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 21:18,
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Remember there's a strong contingent here who are very sentimental about vermin like cats and dogs,to the point where they consider them human.
And they want their loved ones preserved until the end of time.
Add to that the people who are just plain in love with you and want a literal Trophy Wife.
(And they want their loved ones preserved until the end of time.
Add to that the people who are just plain in love with you and want a literal Trophy Wife.
Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 21:25,
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that doesn't make me feel any better Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 21:28,
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OK, take those four who clicked 'stuffed and mounted'.How many of those just idly clicked it for a laff, and how many are going to assassinate you with a neurotoxin-tipped crossbow bolt, transport your cadaver to an expert Swiss underground taxidermist and pay to have you exquisitely stuffed and mounted, at immense cost, and then negotiate the tricky exportation of the finished artwork through customs and into their bedsit?
Only one or two, surely.
(Only one or two, surely.
Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 21:39,
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good point Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 21:41,
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Who voted to have Smash committed?
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:53,
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2? ... but there's only 1 vote?
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:59,
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True.Only one vote... every 60 seconds.
( Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 21:04,
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Stuffed and mounted of coursesince that seems to be a recurring theme of interest
(,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 21:27,
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I'm surprised that more people haven't gone for this, frankly, filthy option.You've let me down B3ta. You've let me down, and you've let yourslef down.
( Mu Dinofiddler,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 21:35,
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that's because you're a colossal perv, Mu Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 21:42,
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:Di am now going for a shower. i'll be interested to see the results of the vote when i get back.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 21:46,
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It was probably a bad move to express migivings about being stuffed and mounted...(an expert psephologist writes)
( Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 21:53,
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Has this been newslettered?I did not know you were compiling these. I think this should win every compo!
( RedHouse over yonder,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:12,
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This should win the compoand yes, I wish that had really happened too.
(,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:28,
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I like Working GirlBut I also like Hulk Hogan smashing skyscrapers.
( Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 21:16,
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I don't like Melanie Griffithbut I love this movie for the line "Now get your bony ass out of my sight!"
( RedHouse over yonder,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:16,
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i need your crutches, your paracetamol and your bandages Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet,
Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:05,
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