b3ta.com links
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Links » Archive 9600 (Older | Newer)

This is a link post The Muppets just got 50 shades darker NSFW
NSFW for swears
(and ejaculating muppets)
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 12:02, Reply)
This is a normal post Directed by Jim Hensons son.
Looks alright but I expect some knobheads will show this to their kids for laughs.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 12:09, Reply)
This is a normal post My youngest sprog is 21... does this still apply?

(, Tue 29 May 2018, 13:14, Reply)
This is a normal post Getting sued by Sesame Street too.
Big Bird's having none of it.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 12:48, Reply)
This is a normal post You'd think the "No" before the "Sesame" might have been a clue
A bit like a complaint that a guide made for Le Mans had the word "official" in it, even though it was prefixed with "Un". I guess it probably read "An official guide" in French!
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 13:30, Reply)
This is a normal post clearly a vacuous, unfunny, furry blue turd of a film
instead, why not check out eli roth's lego remake of the serbian film, rated m for occasional baby rape
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 14:03, Reply)
This is a normal post Meet the Feebles was a bit dark.
This just looks puerile.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 19:37, Reply)
This is a normal post \o/

(, Tue 29 May 2018, 20:09, Reply)
This is a normal post .
?.

I love that so many people must have discovered this, and his other early output, whilst investigating what else that nice man who made the Lord of the Rings films has made...
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 23:41, Reply)
This is a link post Jurassic Park!

(, Tue 29 May 2018, 11:56, Reply)
This is a normal post Love that guy.

(, Tue 29 May 2018, 12:00, Reply)
This is a normal post Dan
Dan
Dan
Dan
Dan!
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 12:43, Reply)
This is a normal post is he the defence secretary? Christ, I hope there's not a war
Not exactly quick on his feet
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 13:24, Reply)
This is a normal post And shows no military leadership there.

(, Tue 29 May 2018, 14:12, Reply)
This is a normal post Curiously
The Romans won at Zama by parting ranks and letting Hanibal's hefelumbs charching past
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 23:48, Reply)
This is a normal post Former fireplace salesman of the year
Trufax
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 21:24, Reply)
This is a normal post Un be-bloody-leivable

(, Wed 30 May 2018, 15:28, Reply)
This is a link post All the Netflix New Releases for June 2018
First up, two of Netflix's most talked about series, Luke Cage and GLOW, are returning for their second seasons. W. Kamau Bell has a new stand-up special hitting, and while they will be removing Civil War, Thor fans should rejoice as Ragnarok is hitting the service.

There are a number of other TV shows, films, and specials hitting Netflix in June. As per usual, we've got you covered; here's a look at everything hitting Netflix in Juneas well as our picks of what you definitely need to be checking for. Plan accordingly.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 4:41, Reply)
This is a normal post I have a cough, blocked nose and conjunctivitis
I assume that means the conjunctivitis is viral, and chloramphenicol will be useless?
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 6:32, Reply)
This is a normal post It's possible (though unlikely) that the conjunctivitis could be caused by an opportunistic bacterial infection.
You're right to hold off on the antibiotics, but viral conjunctivitis is highly contagious so please maintain good hand hygiene whilst experiencing symptoms. An alcohol based hand gel should be considered if you plan on being in public areas where soap and water are unavailable.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 13:25, Reply)
This is a normal post Uh wut?
Edit:

Hello you cunt
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 7:10, Reply)
This is a normal post give us 2 reasons why you shouldn't be banned for being an assumed spambot

(, Tue 29 May 2018, 7:14, Reply)
This is a normal post If this is the case, I shall check out netflix directly rather than your shitty site
I really hope somebody is manually going to all the trouble of trying to spam B3ta, rather than a bot.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 7:23, Reply)
This is a normal post I think Robs been building a robot army over the last few years
A swearing, shitty magnet driven robot army that does nothing but draw cocks everywhere.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 7:39, Reply)
This is a normal post That's something I can relate to
I now have a Mutated Monty style video of the army in my head and they're bleedin' everywhere!
The first (and only other) post by MasterUber is a cut and paste from a Wired article, so I'm going for spambot.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 9:51, Reply)
This is a normal post That list is useless without VideoPlus codes.

(, Tue 29 May 2018, 9:12, Reply)
This is a normal post *plans accordingly*

(, Tue 29 May 2018, 9:40, Reply)
This is a normal post alternatively you can download the upflix app, which lets you PLAN ACCORDINGLY easier.

(, Tue 29 May 2018, 11:13, Reply)
This is a normal post One of the most obvious things about Netflix
is that it presents it's content to users in a very accessible way. I doubt it's possible for you to reorganise that data any better than Netflix already has.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 11:27, Reply)
This is a normal post hmm, not so sure about that
Suspect they've got reasons for wanting you to watch x instead of y and organise it accordingly
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 11:33, Reply)
This is a normal post Does it though?
I mean I've spent hours flicking through the damn thing looking for something - anything - to watch and failed many times.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 11:46, Reply)
This is a normal post I didn't say you'd like the content,
just that it's easily accessible.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 15:18, Reply)
This is a normal post
It takes far too long to fight through the dross that for some reason it thinks I'd be interested in to find something I'm actually interested in.

That's not down to me not liking the content, that's bad UX hiding the content from me.

As for using the search function with a tv remote? That's time that would be more productively spent gnawing my own foot off.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 16:10, Reply)
This is a normal post Yeah, I don't recommend using netflix on a telly.
But that's more the remote's fault than netflix.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 17:12, Reply)
This is a normal post That's totally Netflix's fault
They designed a UI that is a nightmare to use with the control method available. As an example of how it can be done on TV, look at iPlayer. Stuff is in obvious categories and sorted alphabetically. It doesn't pretend to know what you want to watch and therefore you can find things.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 19:53, Reply)
This is a normal post but money

(, Tue 29 May 2018, 21:31, Reply)
This is a normal post TV controls are fucking bollocks.
Almost none of them include a keyboard, so if you're attempting to type something in you'll have to fuck about for ages with a fiddly piece of shit. Netflix is not at fault for that.

TVs and set-top-boxes are also absurdly underpowered and slow as shite, so you often have around a second (or even more) of delay between input and response. Again this is not the fault of Netflix.

Finally, iPlayer, 4oD and all the other things I've used suffer from exactly the same issues.

Certainly they could index stuff alphabetically, but that's an issue of content arrangement, not of the interface itself.
(, Wed 30 May 2018, 11:24, Reply)
This is a normal post Bollocks.
If you want a curated library and are only interested in the most popular stuff, then you’re golden. Good luck finding anything resembling a workable index that allows you to dig out the more interesting films though.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 13:07, Reply)
This is a normal post There's a pretty obvious search feature.
Also... did you visit OPs link? He clearly hasn't sorted the data any better than Netflix.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 15:17, Reply)
This is a normal post I don’t want to search
I don’t want filtered recommendations

I want to be able to browse a catalogue.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 16:17, Reply)
This is a normal post Fair enough... they could do with some kind of proper list.
I wouldn't object to that.
As for their filtered recommendations, I find they're usually fairly accurate to the sort of stuff that I like; might be nice to have a "never show me this shit ever again" button for stuff that you have no intention of ever watching.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 17:14, Reply)
This is a normal post Netflix is shit
And killed Maddie.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 15:24, Reply)
This is a link post Jeremy Hardy on ISIHAC.
Joyous.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 0:29, Reply)
This is a normal post BONUS EDITION: 40 Years of The News Quiz
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p066l01m
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 9:11, Reply)
This is a link post Last one for now. I made this!

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 22:48, Reply)
This is a normal post bring back Ashens

(, Tue 29 May 2018, 17:28, Reply)
This is a normal post Will a CGI expert PLEASE make it look like this hand guy is milking a cow.

(, Tue 29 May 2018, 18:36, Reply)
This is a normal post Why are you buying this shit?

(, Tue 29 May 2018, 21:35, Reply)
This is a link post BENEdikt "Summer Closing - Feel what you want mix"
Still one of my fave all time mixes.
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 21:36, Reply)
This is a link post Scrapbook Starwars Trailer I made this!
Almost finished this ridiculous stop motion sketch show based on the popular interstellar conflict, so I thought I'd make a trailer like to let people know about it. Should be finished within the week.
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 21:15, Reply)
This is a normal post Nicely done
(Hope you don't get taken down on copyrights)
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 0:27, Reply)
This is a normal post
Shouldn’t do. Protected by parody laws, and there’s plenty of similar stuff out there anyway.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 8:44, Reply)
This is a normal post Hey
This looks great. Well done.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 9:07, Reply)
This is a normal post
Cheers! I hope so
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 10:18, Reply)
This is a link post Rocks and Ravens
"Rocks and Ravens is a relaxing Sudoku-esque puzzler that sees you attempting to arrange rocks and diamonds in grid based puzzles to keep the ravens happy."
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 19:27, Reply)
This is a normal post But all you really need to keep ravens happy is sheep eyeballs and intestines.

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 19:40, Reply)
This is a normal post hope quoth liked it

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 20:31, Reply)
This is a normal post GO TEAM RAVENS!

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 21:21, Reply)
This is a normal post evermore!

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 22:11, Reply)
This is a normal post Over all too soon

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 21:20, Reply)
This is a normal post Liked it but not enough levels.

(, Tue 29 May 2018, 12:54, Reply)
This is a link post My breasts want to kill me, they are too heavy - busty Nigerian lady cries out for help
"One day dis breast nearly kill me. Wen I dey sleep I see say something dey press me, I say wetin dey press me? I no know say na my breast. E don reach my neck dey heavy me, dey press me as if e wan kill me, I nearly suffocate. I come say Jesus! come stand up."
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 16:53, Reply)
This is a normal post
Has she considered losing weight?
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 17:08, Reply)
This is a normal post Macromastia is a medical condition.
I've come across* a couple of women who suffered from this, think G or H cup plus. It caused them no end of pain.

*intended of course
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 17:25, Reply)
This is a normal post I also had a friend (I know this is b3ta, but I really did have a friend) that ended up having breast reduction
due to increasingly bad back pain.
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 18:52, Reply)
This is a normal post did she let you have a farewell wank?
otherwise 'acquaintance' is the word you're looking for.
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 19:20, Reply)
This is a normal post She's still generously proportioned, but her back got better.

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 19:48, Reply)
This is a normal post Bit like having a heavy rucksack on backwards.
You shouldn't have tried to pick them BOTH up at the same time. Hope your back's better soon.
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 19:20, Reply)
This is a normal post More than a handful's a waist.

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 19:49, Reply)
This is a normal post I had an ex who'd had a reduction before I met her.
Selfish bitch.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 7:29, Reply)
This is a link post Interesting segment discussing the Irish referendum result

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 11:12, Reply)
This is a link post not been on the board for a bout a year I made this!
because I've been raising one of these over evolved apes... teaching him well though, and instructing him in the ways of the ROTO!!!!

(the dog is happy to have a friend, I will try and shoot them having a lightsaber duel and post it)

EDIT: the 'SO CUTE' is nothing to do with me and everything to do with the MCN.
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 10:07, Reply)
This is a normal post Evolved?
My latest offshoot has discovered climbing onto the coffee table, standing, doing a dance and running off the other end like he is some unstable Wile E. Coyote reincarnation.

And that is better than the “unexpectedly running into a bush at full tilt” he did only a few hours earlier...

The kid has more bruises than a prop foward after a pup fight.
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 13:27, Reply)
This is a normal post ^everything about this
he's relentlessly trying to choke himself on everything, it all goes in his mouth, apart from food, which goes in his eyes.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 21:07, Reply)
This is a normal post Mine has been devising the best way to get into the forbidden cupboard of mystery
That's where the delicious sweet shaped poisons are kept.
(, Wed 30 May 2018, 7:19, Reply)
This is a link post A minute silence in memory of the 5/24 - 5/27 downtime victims I made this!
followed by joyless piano music for a respectful In Memoriam montage.
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 9:35, Reply)
This is a link post Lightning over London I made this!
I hung a camera out of the window last night and captured this.
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 8:27, Reply)
This is a normal post KABLAMMO

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 8:43, Reply)
This is a normal post really nice

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 10:43, Reply)
This is a normal post Did you light a cigarette at 2:16?

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 13:55, Reply)
This is a normal post
I don't think so. Maybe I should have muted the soundtrack.

Edit: Aaaand it's gone. Hooray!
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 14:58, Reply)
This is a normal post The cause of all that was the recent result in the Irish vote.

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 18:54, Reply)
This is a link post Uplifting amazing story from daily mail
Mail must be conflicted, great news story but going
against their agenda.

"Paris mayor Anne Hidalgo praised the young migrant..."
The young migrant??? Well done young migrant!
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 8:16, Reply)
This is a normal post
Nah, cognitive dissonance is the Mail reader's natural state.

Something something minced gammon..
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 8:51, Reply)
This is a normal post It's fine
It happened in another country. Not a problem.
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 8:53, Reply)
This is a normal post i have a daily mail blockeer
for those with similar: www.theguardian.com/world/2018/may/28/spider-man-of-paris-climbs-four-storeys-to-rescue-dangling-boy

edit: he's got citizenship as a result. www.theguardian.com/world/2018/may/28/spider-man-of-paris-to-get-french-citizenship-after-rescuing-child
sounds like a scam mate. bleedin forrins.
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 11:25, Reply)
This is a normal post plot twist: it was his kid.

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 11:31, Reply)
This is a normal post And he bought the gaffer tape only hours before.

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 13:30, Reply)
This is a normal post This is what's known as
a reverse Micheal Jackson.
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 13:07, Reply)
This is a normal post A Michael Jacksoff?

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 14:26, Reply)
This is a normal post He's invented a way to unfuck children?

(, Tue 29 May 2018, 11:14, Reply)
This is a normal post According to the BBC he also won a medal and a job as a fireman.
Bloody immigrants coming going over here there and taking all our their jobs medals.
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 14:36, Reply)
This is a normal post Who does he think he is,
saving people's children?

Foreign heroic cunt.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 15:16, Reply)
This is a link post Comments read out by Adam Buxton.
This made do a bit of wee with laughter.
(, Sun 27 May 2018, 23:35, Reply)
This is a normal post im a killer whale
under the waves :-)
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 0:32, Reply)
This is a normal post Just finished watching the whole series of BUG
Except for the ones that copyright has prevented. Good stuff, thanks
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 20:42, Reply)
This is a link post Crime Scene Photographer. NSFW I made this!
My plans for tonight got cancelled, so what else is a man in his forties with the house to himself gonna do but film a very short, very silly sketch in the hope that others might get a chuckle.

It's somewhat pointless and very immature, but, well, so am I.

Possibly NSFW due to some very unrealistic fake gore.

*Coat*
(, Sun 27 May 2018, 23:14, Reply)
This is a normal post haha - quality sound fx too

(, Sun 27 May 2018, 23:28, Reply)
This is a normal post Excellent use of the mask but lacking ear defenders
5/7

Top job
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 8:52, Reply)
This is a normal post Is that an eos300v?

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 21:32, Reply)
This is a normal post Think so.
It belongs to Mrs Spicious. She's got a 300V and a 450D, so it's one of them.

Don't mean nowt to me though.
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 21:44, Reply)
This is a link post Give us ya fookin money!
Crowdfunder to print and distribute Transgender Trend's schools pack.

Teachers currently have no guidance on supporting gender-questioning children other than to affirm to them that they are truly "born in the wrong body". Not everyone thinks this is a good idea.

Transgender Trend has put together a comprehensive set of resources for teachers and schools on how to support gender non-conforming children. I've read it, and it's an extremely humane document packed with seemingly good advice.

Take a look and see if it's something you'd like to support.
(, Sun 27 May 2018, 23:09, Reply)
This is a normal post I tell my son
“Don’t make up your mind if you’re for or against transgender until you’ve fucked one”. I give him the same advice about fox hunting
(, Sun 27 May 2018, 23:39, Reply)
This is a normal post How do you fuck fox hunting?

(, Sun 27 May 2018, 23:49, Reply)
This is a normal post grab the whiskers and hold on tight

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 0:05, Reply)
This is a normal post Sounds to me like you've already made your mind up on that one? Amirite?

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 0:09, Reply)
This is a normal post I'm pro hunting
That fox mange I caught was worse than eczema
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 1:10, Reply)
This is a normal post Leaping off if the hounds get too close.

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 0:17, Reply)
This is a normal post You get parliament to vote it down
after doing lots of saboteuring.
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 11:45, Reply)
This is a normal post lolz
On a serious note, I'm aware that this is a sensitive issue and that it's fairly easy for TRAs to shout "conversion therapy!!" at those who tell kids that they may not be trans and should not rush to transition.

At the same time, teachers have no official guidance except what is coming from the trans lobby. That's why I believe this pack is so important. For what it's worth, I believe that some people can lead happier lives by transitioning, and all trans people should be supported and treated with respect.
(, Sun 27 May 2018, 23:56, Reply)
This is a normal post How does this work then?
Developing a pack is one thing but lobbying to be the pack that is used in schools nationally looks very tough. Surely the department will write this in-house?
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 0:20, Reply)
This is a normal post They're a not-for-profit
And the pack was created as *a* resource, not *the* resource.

Overview of the document, including precis and rationale, here: www.transgendertrend.com/transgender-schools-guidance/
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 0:30, Reply)
This is a normal post Same problem
I can't see the Department of Education allowing an independent resource to exist alongside their one. That is just how the civil service works.
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 0:58, Reply)
This is a normal post Does the pack include a pair of lace-frilled panties?
"Do you ever feel that you'd be more comfortable if your gender was different? Try these on. You'll look smashing"
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 1:38, Reply)
This is a normal post Hasn't everyone?

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 1:53, Reply)
This is a normal post Not all teachers groom their pupils you know.
I mean, ok, most of them do, but still, it's probably wrong to encourage it.
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 9:07, Reply)
This is a normal post Tell the guy who donated with the message
"Time to stop this abomination and save our children from the LGBT leviathan."

That said, LGBT leviathan is a far cooler pejorative than trans lobby.
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 9:38, Reply)
This is a normal post Oh ffs.
"Mum, dad, I want to be a girl."
"That's fine little Timmy, you can be whatever you want."
Next day:
"Mum, dad, I want to be a robot."
"That's fine little Tammi, as a girl you can be anything you want to be."

Kids play dress-up. Stop pretending that that means they want to actually change sexes, aren't there enough mental-cases around as it is?
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 9:11, Reply)
This is a normal post Basically I think they agree with you.
And want the schools to use a bit of common sense.
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 12:13, Reply)
This is a normal post Common sense?
Didn’t that leave your fair island after the 1945 general election?
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 13:15, Reply)
This is a normal post I don't live in the UK so I couldn't tell you.

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 13:51, Reply)
This is a normal post It probably emigrated to your country and was treated like shit.

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 17:35, Reply)
This is a normal post I am all for people having the right to live as whatever gender they like
but like a lot of other things in life which are better done after a certain age, if you want to do something permanent then you will have to wait until you are old enough.

Personally I think the age to have a kid should be increased to higher than any other age bar. I think you should be at least 21 before you have a kid, you should be allowed to cross dress etc at 16. Reassignment surgery at 21, same as having a kid
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 11:49, Reply)
This is a normal post I'm guessing you have not really thought it through
How the fuck would you force a 20-year-old not to have a baby?
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 13:48, Reply)
This is a normal post Take away all their white lightning

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 14:29, Reply)
This is a normal post
And outside Scotland?
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 17:36, Reply)
This is a normal post I don't know what those softy southerners drink
Babycham?
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 17:58, Reply)
This is a normal post That’s the Midlands, surely?
Us Southerners have left the 1980’s and are busy drinking pink prosecco.
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 23:18, Reply)
This is a normal post I hope to god you put raspberries in it

(, Tue 29 May 2018, 8:45, Reply)
This is a normal post Andy Warhol said you shouldn't
even be told sex exists until 40, so that it's a nice surprise for your middle years.
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 15:19, Reply)
This is a normal post It's a shame they don't let you see what they'll send, and read it like.

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 18:34, Reply)
This is a normal post Google
it.
(, Tue 29 May 2018, 0:09, Reply)
This is a link post How to chat up a girl.
Did I mention “Oz style”? No? Oops then.
(, Sun 27 May 2018, 22:10, Reply)
This is a normal post Class

(, Sun 27 May 2018, 22:54, Reply)
This is a normal post New Zealand
You massive racist.
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 6:27, Reply)
This is a normal post Yeah, stink bro hey

(, Mon 28 May 2018, 11:44, Reply)
This is a normal post Meh,
They all look the same to me.
(, Mon 28 May 2018, 13:16, Reply)

« Older links | Newer links »