HR typo faux pas - this JUST happened
Oh no...

My HR manager just dropped by to ask me if I could email her copies of her P60 forms. Far from being a heartless droid, she's always very chatty and personable.

Not for much longer I fear...

"No problem, I'll just sort it while you're stood here", I swung my screen round to make sure she could verify the details.

I made the fatal mistake of typing her email address while maintaining eye-contact.

Her name is 'Cynthia'.

I typed the fourth letter before realising my typographical mistake.

Whoops-a-fucking-daisy.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 18 Aug 2009, 16:43, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

attractive girls play Metallica on harps shocker!
harptallica.com/index.html
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 16:40, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My friend is giving a lecture in October called: Tales of Vampires and the Undead
Synpopsis: this lecture will look at tales of vampires and the undead with special reference to Central and Eastern Europe and some orthodox funeral customs used to placate and hopefully prevent their return as revenants to the world of the living. Participants are advised to bring garlic!

I will attend so that we will know how deal with Kaol, once and for all.
( thealternativefact, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 16:37, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Who the fuck is Kerry Katona?
Seriously? Apart from hearing "she's slurring on TV" and "She's done coke" and "she smoked whilst pregnant" I have no idea who she is so why the fuck should I care?
( Peej, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 16:20, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Raining Cats and Dogs?
So, I was doing a bit of research earlier, into animal-rain.
You know, frogs, fish, whatever.

The phrase "It's raining cats and dogs" is odd... But other languages have their own strange versions:

French: il pleut des hallebardes ("it is raining halberds") or des clous ("nails")
Afrikaans: ou vrouens met knopkieries reen ("old women with clubs")
Czech: padají trakaře ("wheelbarrows")
Danish: det regner skomagerdrenge ("shoemakers' apprentices")
Dutch: het regent pijpestelen ("pipe stems")
Greek: βρέχει καρεκλοπόδαρα ("chair legs")
Irish Gaelic: tá sé ag caitheamh sceana gréasaí ("cobblers knives")
Norwegian: det regner trollkjerringer ("she-trolls")
Portuguese: está chovendo canivetes ("penknives")
Spanish: está lloviendo chuzos ("shortpikes")
Serbian: padaju sekire ("axes")
Bosnian: padaju ćuskije ("crowbars")

What have you found out today?
( Cawl, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 15:23, 51 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Not a happy Agnostic
Well, b3ta has now been blocked at work, so i can't come on during the day anymore.

Not happy that he picks now to block it, when we've not had a single web related problem or complaint in months. Ah well.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 14:56, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Is off-topic on its last legs?
Well, it's not nearly as jam-packed as it used to be when those HSH threads had hundreds of replies. Lots of threads with one or two replies, even with Gonz around to jolly things along. I'm shocked. Since this place is marginally more friendly than talk, I quite like it (even if you hate my threads). So what's happened? Is it a lack of quality? Too much quantity? Has everyone legged it and gone somewhere else? Has the summer taken people out to Real Life^(TM))

So my question is, given that the amino acid glycine has been found in a comet's trail (one we sent a robot to go and have a look at and come back with lots of stardust goodies) and that it's a building block of earth life, do you think that the universe is crawling in aliens? I do, but I suspect no-one has ever visited this place. I really hope aliens are like Roger from American Dad.

And if that question is to serious for 2:30 in the afternoon, perhaps you could either a) tell me to fuck off, b) rate this thread or c) speculate on the downfall of offtopic.
(Deadly Octopus no deaths since, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 14:40, 39 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bloggity Blog Blog, by Gonz, aged 25 and quite a bit.
I woke up at 3ish today, and after 30 minuites, I decided I wasn't going back to sleep, so I started on some work and have done some amazingly productive things, i'm well pleased with what I've done. All I've got to do now is attach a payment system and then I can make my millions.

I also watched the end of S03 of Heroes and thought it was awesome, even if the ending was a bit week (I'm still not entirely sure what happened).

Now I'm off to get my jewfro cut down, maybe go for a swim, then out for THAI FOOD and ICE CREAM with a mate later.

I went down to the GPs to sort out something before too.

All in all, BESTEST DAY EVAH.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 14:24, Reply)

I'm a tech support monkey
Picked up the phone to an American guy we have working for us in Ireland. I asked him to get something for me and he said, "Hang on a sec, English, I'll just get it for you". Obviously, as a Brit of the old school, I'm used to saying things to people such as "Hey you, Indian. Bring me my slippers." and so on, but I had thought that the use of "English" as a personal pronoun only existed in the world of television.

What has happened to you recently that you thought was made up/an urban myth/a lie?
( Kroney, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 13:24, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Escalator fun. Some friends and I invented a new game to play on the magical lazy-stairs.
Step on the escalator and then turn around. No hand-rail holding is allowed. Then wait. If you're first, you'll not have a clue when the top comes. And you'll probably fall over. If you're second or later you have some idea because of the terrified screeching or falling of the people ahead - but you'll have The Fear!

Up five flights of escalators in a shopping centre, six of us started. By the last floor, the whole crowd had joined in with our new game.

Just goes to show, nobody ever really grows up...
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 13:21, Reply)

is it possible
to get some serious reponses on b3ta/OT do you think? Lets find out.

So, lets imagine you had the chance to run a failing, yet charming traditional cinema. It seats 4-500, its in a nice middle class area, and you can run it how you like. Other than show the lastest films, what are some ideas other than "show the latest films" that might generate business.

Yes I am asking you for ideas for a business. I have loads myself, but wondering what else there is. Perhaps your local - non multiplex - flicks has some interesting ideas. Let me know
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 12:33, 52 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Check it
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8206280.stm

I particularly like the fact that the Professor has a ? as part of his surname.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 11:52, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Now that health care is being talked about again in the US
we are hearing what I am assuming to be mis-truths, twisted truths, and outright lies about the UK's NHS. Some of these stories include: stopping treatment on anyone after +/- 22K ($) per year because that is how much someone is worth to the economy, refusing to treat cancer on elderly patients because they will die anyway, refusing operations, etc.

While I have read about problems in the NHS, people in the UK live longer than in the US and the World Health Organization rates the UK health quite a bit higher than the US health. Any thoughts? (I have spent a lot of the last 3 days in the intensive care ward of my local hospital while mother has had her spine operated on twice to fuse the upper portions to stop pressure on her spinal cord. She has great insurance but most people could not have received the care she is receiving because of cost, and the insurance company is now trying to figure out some way of dropping her and won’t sell anyone the type of policy she has anymore).
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 11:48, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I boiled a bacon joint last night
then scored and seasoned the skin and fat and stuck it in the oven for an hour. Crackling is just so fucking moreish.

What can't you get enough of once you've started?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 10:59, 58 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Chicago is closed for the day.
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/8206433.stm

What would you close in your city for the day, to save money, assuming EVERYTHING was privatised?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Tue 18 Aug 2009, 10:31, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anyone know anything about Leeds?
I have a potential job offer at a translation company, but know naaaaahthing about Leeds itself.

I therefore require The Opinion of the Internet.

I'm thinking things like accommodation costs for a singleton, shops, general "is-it-shit"-ness - the usual things that would influence whether you'd move to a new city or not.

Anyone know much about it?
(Biscuit Burlesque wants to be Dita von Teas, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 10:29, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Deadly Sins
"Lust", "Gluttony", "Greed", "Sloth", "Wrath", "Envy", and "Pride".

If you could add (or replace) one, what would it be?

Alternatively, what would you least want to find in your shit (since I'm just off for one)?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 10:29, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning.
What music do you want to be listening to when you die?
Mine's "Southern Jukebox Music" by the Penguin Cafe Orchestra.
(ragged, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 9:07, 35 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hi folks.
Hoe gaat het?
Tis me mum's birthday tomorrer and I've got her a mushy present. But she likes mushy so it's all good.

What was the last present you bought - or alternatively - when was the last time you indulged in a bit of bum love?
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 18 Aug 2009, 8:56, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm going home!
So, my lease on my apartment is up in December, so January I am flying home to England for 6 months. My heart is here in Amercia, but I'm so dreadfully homesick and need to go home to remember who I am.
this is going to be the toughest thing I've ever had to do - give up my job, my life, everything.....but at the end of the day I have to do it.
And when I come home to America, I hope to be a lot happier than I was when I left.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 6:51, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bless her
My mum's understanding of technology is... incomplete to say the least. She can use her computer to access email, look up websites and even print (as I discovered): This morning I received a letter from her in the mail. Containing only the printed copy of an interesting email she received and wanted me to read.

She apparently doesn't know about forwarding emails.
( Tiffany Aching 's bowl of oatmeal tried to stare her down and won, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 6:39, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I just saw a UFO
(by virtue of it being flying and unidentified)

It looked like a fire - and orange-yellow flickering light. A bit like a hot air balloon, except without the balloon and moving too fast. It just went across the sky about as fast as a plane, but didn't make any noise. Size wise, it was maybe about the size of a light aeroplane at a couple of thousand feet (I live near an airfield) when I first saw it.

It went up into a cloud and vanished.

I don't believe it's aliens, or anything like that, but I can't figure out what the hell it was.
( le brian, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 21:36, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Home Sweet Home
Tonight's question: What easter-eggs would you like to see in computer-games?


( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 19:22, 102 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

No matter what you may believe, reading the London paper as you walk along a crowded train station
COMPLETELY FUCKING OBLIVIOUS to everyone else who's trying to get past you does NOT score you cool points. To the guy who coughed on you as he walked past this stupid fucking cunt...I salute you.

Evening cunts. Anyone else feeling stabby tonight?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 19:07, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm getting bored.
With my usual tipples of cider or gin and tonic.

I want to start enjoying a new 'usual' but I'm at a loss as to what drink to throw myself into.

Suggestions? Price/taste/alcohol content are all factors, as is availability.

Alternatively, what's the best ever slang word for breasts?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 17:19, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just been told that my contract "may not be renewed" but nothing definate you'll hear this week
One minute I was sitting here quite content and now I am just shaking. I need this job, when I first got it I didn't have a wife, child, car and large mortgage but now I do.

If I lose this job I'm pretty much screwed.
( Peej, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 15:57, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My nephew who's nearly nine years old is hitting a crossroads in his life.
He's discovered a liking for branded sportswear and Warhammer.

If he goes with Warhammer then he will become the most handsome geek ever to set foot in a Games store.
( girlinthehole, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 15:45, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Following on from Vitamin C's thread,
What songs are bastards for getting stuck in your head?

For me it has to be Breaking The Law by Judas Priest or Wanted Dead Or Alive by Bon Jovi.
I have no idea why.
( Cawl, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 15:13, 36 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Woooooooooo
just had a phone call from the mortgage people. House has been valued and is worth only a little less than it was before!

Huzzah! this means I can remortgage!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 14:07, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)