Where's Vipros
Stolen from Geekologie - The Trustworthiness of Beards
www.geekologie.com/image.php?path=/2010/04/22/beards-full.jpg

Do you have a beard? What kind? Or ladies, what kind of beard is your favourite?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 13:06, 32 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right, it's silly season.
Alternative election pledges: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/election_2010/8631815.stm

What would you pledge if you were standing as an MP?

Personally, I would seek to abolish the annoying habit of putting salad into ready made sandwiches on the basis that I don't like tomato. Salad stuff should be available in a seperate, sealed container so you can add it if you want it, or leave it out if you don't.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 28 Apr 2010, 12:09, 52 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

If there's one person I know in the world who's got massive balls, it's that Devil_in_Tights guy.
I heard his balls are so massive he doesn't need extra gas or pellets when he goes paintballing. Who do you know with massive balls?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 10:40, 43 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Think back to when you were at school
There were always rumours about teachers. When I was at school we had the normal "Oh she's a lesbian, he's a transvestite" rumours. One of the more common tales was about a teacher nicknamed Squirty Burty, who was allegedly caught by a pupil, wanking in the art store room. When I was at school I believed this to be 100% trufact, but as I got older I realised it was probably just a convenient story to match the fact that his surname rhymed with squirt.

What rumours did you have about your school teachers and were any of them actually proven true?
( Peej, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 9:01, 142 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

How excited do you think people really were when they invented sliced bread?
Was it really one of those amazing moments where everyone just stopped and went "FUCKING HELL", or did it grow in status over time?

What's puzzled you lately?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 28 Apr 2010, 8:08, 89 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hello all.
Went to the docs today with a sunburn - he was a bit perplexed until he saw me.
Borderline 2nd degree burns to my nose and lips.
I'm a dumbass as I was up in the mountains over the weekend doing what I love best, and my brain was a bit slow on the uptake. "Oh, it's winter, no need for sunblock, just protect my eyes from the snow".

So now my nose and mouth are all ointmented up, I'm on antibiotics to prevent infection and I look like a fucking mong.

Did you all have a good weekend?
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 20:32, 17 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Listening to some Moby earlier (yes, I know!) whilst preparing dinner I realised something.
That is I can quite happily watch the Bourne fillums over and over again. There's just something about them.
Especially the second one. And the first one.
I can't really say I feel the same about many, if any, other fillums.

What can you watch repeatedly? Fillum or otherwise...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Tue 27 Apr 2010, 19:55, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm entering a writing competition
1000 words, but it has to be titled after a famous novel and bear some relation to it, however tenuous.

Suggestions please?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 19:30, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Done.
I ran the London Marathon on Sunday and am in pain which is finally easing now. Never again. What have you done recently that you wish you had not done?

Alternate question: what impression do British people have of Scandinavia?
(JohntheDane, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 16:51, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have wind.
What do you have?
( girlinthehole, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 14:54, 168 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh boy oh boy oh boy
I havent heard for sure yet but I'm most likely getting a puppy sometime in the next few days.
I'm so excited it's like Christmas as a kid.

I've never had a dog before, any advice you can give, my beautiful b3tan chums?

EDIT: IT'S OFFICIAL!!!! I get her tonight!!
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 13:32, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's oh so quiet in here
What's everyone having for lunch?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 13:11, 157 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

And good news for Monty.
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/8644384.stm
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:27, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have just been reading an article on celibacy (BBC News).
One of the contributors is a Father Stephen Wang. Hurf Hurf.

So, what is your favourite name for the male sexual appendage. I like willy. Or cock.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:23, 75 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

In the interest of balance to Monty's barely disguised love for all things bumderish below.
There was a piece on the radio this morning about an American charity that wishes to set up in Dear Old Blighty. Their purpose is to offer drug addicts £200 to undergo voluntary steriliasation. This is not permanent sterilisation, and the emphasis is on the word voluntary.

Cue a number of 'experts' crying "eugenics" and "Nazi Germany".

What's your view? Or alternatively, which Glee character would like like to give a good old, Monty style punch in the face? I've never seen it before but I'm assured that there's probably an outrageously camp character on it so I'd go for him, on the basis that Graham Norton ruined Doctor Who on Saturday night for the second time in five years and therefore all camp men are evil.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 27 Apr 2010, 10:02, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Non-benders* are welcome in this thread.
Madonna, Kylie, Marc Almond, Bronski Beat, Liberace, Glee, David Bowie.

All utterly fucking shit and without merit. Discuss THAT, shirters.


*Just to clarify, I have no problem whatosever with homosexuality - just 'gayness'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 9:24, 148 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

First thread of the new day, like it matters
OK, let's get the gay out of the way early. Last night's episode of Glee was the best thing Madonna's name has been attached to since "Substitute for Love" back in '99. Discuss.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 27 Apr 2010, 8:07, 80 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

dubai fuckers again
some of you may remember the cunts in Dubai that nearly cost my family and I everything we own, our livelihoods and our liberty

www.b3ta.com/questions/theboss/post460435

well they have a 'new website' same old shit but with a moody pic of the moody MD

but now they have a comments page

please take a moment to deface the cunts

omnia.ae/blog/?p=55#comments

probably a swear filter so be clever
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 20:06, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hello people!
Not been around these parts much lately - life has rather got in the way of my b3ta and general internet habit. Glad to see not much has changed here though.

Recently science and scientific discoveries of the last one hundred years have become fundamentally important to my everyday life.
What's your favourite scientific discovery of the last one hundred years?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 16:46, 74 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Wanking at work
Boredom relief or sex offence?

Is it viable for teh laydeez to indulge in such a thing?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 16:43, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Is it possible
to harvest components (RAM, HDD's etc) from a Dell Desktop, if so what? Has anyone done it?

ALT: Is snooker is boring, and on the TV far too much at the moment?
(Psymon_Spark Jesus Saves! The rest of you take 4d6 damage, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 14:01, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Should I build a time machine?
It would take the world's bestest scientific minds a couple of years, but I could pay them by winning all the lotteries for the next year. Hey, and last year too.

If I do, where and when would you want to go?
Me, I'm going back to get a marathon bar from 1996.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Mon 26 Apr 2010, 13:55, 74 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right, it's a bit quiet in here today
And it's my birthday. Firstly, I want you to entertain me, and secondly you may wish to wish me well. Ready? Go.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 12:27, 49 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

YAY I'M OFF TO CYPRUS TODAY YAY !
Oh man, in reality, I'm not really looking forward to it, in a lot of respects, but in a few others, I am. I'll be fine when I get there. All my favorite resturants have shut down, which is a big bummer, and I've got loads of work to do there, which is also a bummer, but I'm [saddly enough] really looking forward to learning how to develop things for the iPhone/iPad while I'm out there, learning how to do this'n'that. And relaxing by the pool with a good fiction book. And seeing all the dogs all over the show. And going for long walks through fields by myself (and my friend's dog) with a bit of music playing on my phone and camera in my hand. And fucking off from the internet for a few days, as internet is scarce at best there.

ALT: Steven Hawkins has warned against contacting alien life here: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/8642558.stm . I can't say I really disagree with him, but it's a bit twlight-zone, a man with a barely functioning body and a super sharp mind warning humanity against an unknown threat.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 9:21, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

He might be clever but he is way behind the SciFi bell curve.
But it's Stephen Hawking so everyone listen.

This sort of stuff has been the staple of many a penny dreadful for decades.

I reckon aliens would set up a quarantine zone for Earth (if they haven't already) and force schoolkids to visit like we do with Belsen and Auschwitz.

What do you think aliens would do with Earth?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 26 Apr 2010, 9:19, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good morrow, fair denizens of /OT
Good weekend?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 26 Apr 2010, 8:44, 75 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Home Sweet Home



Coffee and croissants anyone?

Just getting some practice in. Have a nice day.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 26 Apr 2010, 8:40, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

LonDONE 2010
I'm sitting writing this with my feet in a basin full of cold water and ice.

Finished my first ever marathon today in 4h12m46s.

I feel euphoric, even though it's still late at night.
(JohntheDane, Sun 25 Apr 2010, 22:16, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evenin' all
For no readily apparent reason that I can determine, the Havant and Waterlooville FA Cup match against Liverpool popped into my head. I just dug up the Havant & Waterlooville FA Cup Story on Youtube and enjoyed it all over again. I love underdogs playing their hearts out and humbling big boy opposition, don't you?

What warms the cockles of that icy, shrivelled lump of coal you use for a heart?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 25 Apr 2010, 21:01, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

w00t!
This has been a good week for my daughter. On Wednesday night she got inducted into the National Honors Society, and last night she was in the state-level high school photo and won first place in the state of Virginia. This means that this summer she goes on to compete at the national level!

I think she wore her medal to bed. She was so jazzed up that she was awake until at least 2 am.

So what good news have you to share on a Sunday?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 25 Apr 2010, 15:22, 41 replies, latest was 16 years ago)