Where are we all today then?
I'm at work - largely my own fault, really, but I'd still rather not be here. Still, at least the weather's pretty bleak over London so I don't feel like I'm missing out on too much. Highlight of the day so far has been the wide variety of sandwiches I pondered in Sainsbury's earlier.

Go on, rub it in: tell me all about your fantastic and exciting mornings.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 8 May 2010, 13:38, 38 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

God I love Glee.
I cried at the end but I'm now going to watch Saw IV to counterbalance the gayness.

Who else is a person of extremes?
( girlinthehole, Fri 7 May 2010, 20:58, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Who wants to see some fluff?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=p03M6KiHdvU
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 7 May 2010, 19:15, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I saw a golden eagle today
I said as much on my facebook status which has prompted a reply from my brother saying nothing but "sex tourist!"

This is the first communication I have had from him in the two weeks since he found out I'd got engaged.

What a cunt eh?

For background, he is far more of a smug cunt than me.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 7 May 2010, 18:38, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What do you like to do with your time?
Any creative activities?

I quite like to write but I haven't for a while due to lack of inspiration, I also like the idea of sewing but I'm really no good at it.

Alt: what do you wish you could do?
I'd like to be able to sketch proper drawings and play the violin.
And make pretty pretty dresses.
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 7 May 2010, 15:39, 116 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Dear Internet types,
I just found out I don't agree with someone(SugarSpunSister)'s political leanings but I do like her art very much. How do I reconcile this?

Have you ever found out someone wasn't just a one-dimensional character and had various facets to their personality? How did you deal with the feeling of not living in a world of black and white absolutes?
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Fri 7 May 2010, 14:20, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Tena Lady Saturation
So just how common is female incontinence? Hardly a second goes by without a Tena Lady advert on the telly, therefore there must be a big market for them. I often see woman, young and old, with packs of them in their supermarket trolley. Yet I have yet to hear any woman speak of or about them. So are the majority of woman in the UK quietly pissing themselves everyday, their shame being absorbed by a discreet adult nappy?

Oh, and why don't they make them for pissy cocked men?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 7 May 2010, 14:08, 39 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

OH OFF TOPIC
Time to wring your hands in despair and get really chippy at all the people who voted to end BROWN'S SOCIAL EXPERIMENT
Then again, you get to be really angry at something which is popular so no change there.


Let the wobbling commence
( WormuIus, Fri 7 May 2010, 13:52, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ms Foxtrot is in Edinburgh this weekend on a hen do and I am mostly at a loose end
Suggestions for entertainment please. I don't really want to spend my entire weekend on OT, whilst trawling the Guardian website for political insight. I shall make windows for these activities when I am too drunk to hold an Xbox joypad
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 7 May 2010, 13:39, 67 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yesterday, I woke up with horrendous hayfever and squinty eyes.
So I took some of my new antihistamines. Unfortunately, they weren't non drowsy and I spent the whole of yesterday stoned. I passed out at the desk in library at least four times, fell asleep in my tutorial, right in front of my tutor, and lost three hours when I got home. I don't even have any memory of getting into bed. I threw the rest of the tablets away.
Has anyone else had this happen to them?

Alt Q: What would your dream house be like?
Mine would have turrets, and suits of armour and weaponry on the walls, and a huge old fashioned library with an enormous fireplace and wood panelling. I'd also instruct the architect to put hidden rooms and secret passages in and not tell me, so I could hours of fun searching for them.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 7 May 2010, 12:21, 64 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just a quick question
I'm going to buy this:

www.amazon.co.uk/EXERCISE-CROSS-TRAINER-Upgraded-Model/dp/B003173OQQ/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&s=sports&qid=1273225782&sr=1-8

Unless one of you tells me you have one you want to get rid off, for a reasonable price, in good condition and better if it's around Manchester (although we could arrange picking it from somewhere else)

AltQ: What's your dreamed job? I'd love to work for mythbusters
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Fri 7 May 2010, 11:20, 125 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'd like to call a moratorium...
...on all mention of politics today. Please don't take this personally; I just came very close to destroying my radio this morning in a fit of impotent anger at the endless fucking drone of "political commentators" (read: twats from newspapers) speculating on what Smug Eton Boycunt, Bolshy Scottish Trollcunt or Who-the-hell-is-he-againcunt might do next. IF YOU REALLY GIVE THAT MUCH OF A FUCK, STOP FLOATING FUCKING DAFT UNSUBSTANTIATED IDEAS AROUND THE AIRWAVES AND GO AND FUCKING ASK THEM. GRRR!

If you are unfortunate enough to have been denied the chance to vote, well, I'm in two minds about this; yes, it probably indicates that things were badly organised in some areas. On the other hand, if you turned up to vote at 9.30pm, then I have about as much sympathy for you as the pillock who grumbles that he didn't get served even though he only turned up as the last orders bell was rung. (If you are a student and turned up to vote at 9.30pm then what the fuck were you doing all day?)

Now someone go away and fix the politics for me. All hail the impending President Roota and if anyone dares to bring any fucking politics in this thread, I'VE STILL GOT THE ITCHY MARROW.


(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:16, 81 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bow down!
Don't panic, I know it looks like things are in a mess, but I've got my tanks going down the M6 right now.
Show your loyalty to the Roota Freedom Party and I will spare you.

Do you want a place on my cabinet? What will you look after?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 7 May 2010, 8:44, 69 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hello all!
Not only have I just got back from Vegas today, I've been trying to follow both the election and the stock market. The market TANKED today, hardcore (yeah, so it came back, but that 1000 points was a bit nerverwracking). Looks like the Tories are going to win?

However, on a plus note, I was down to $13 out of what I was spending before we left this morning, 5 minutes before we had to grab a cab, I hit a Royal Flush on poker and won $125 on a .25c bet. Win! (Still $100 down overall, but still).

Hope the Tory thing works out for the UK, and I hope they do something regarding the Greek economy which is driving the markets down! Grrrr!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 7 May 2010, 6:35, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Erasing David
Just watched this on 4od - about a guy who decides to disappear and hires two PI's to see if they can track him down, well worth a watch.

I remember reading a blog a while ago about a guy who did a similar thing - but it became an internet hunt for him, with him posting and people using his IP address, credit card usage etc to track him down.

I think the link to it might have been on here at some point, but I can't find it anymore - anyone know what blog I'm talking about??
(Twinx, Fri 7 May 2010, 0:15, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Pokes head around the door..
Nothing going on here?

Shame. I was wondering if everyone had voted and was looking forward to a night of Swingometers?

Alternatively. What 7 items would make the best full-english breakfast? (toast and tea or coffee are complimentary).
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 6 May 2010, 20:39, 39 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Cunts.
The skip we've been using for the building work couldn't be picked up for the past 3 days because some bint in a Corsa parked too close to it. She moved her car today so I put out the wheelie bin to get a bit of space. She's just returned, reversed into the wheelie bin, parked, got out, moved the bin onto the pavement and then fucked off, all before I could get downstairs to say "do you mind moving your car forward so the skip can be picked up". FUCKING CUNT. What part of "ACCESS NEEDED FOR SKIP COLLECTION, THANKS" does she not understand?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 6 May 2010, 15:37, 44 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I was determined not to post on here (much) while still on holiday
but I feel I have to congratulate Chompy for the new QOTW.

Your tireless and effective campaigning should be a lesson to politicians.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 6 May 2010, 15:29, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right, enough about breasts.
Time for a cup of tea.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 May 2010, 14:36, 68 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Breasts in the QOTW!!
Hurry!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 6 May 2010, 13:25, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right, time for another election-free thread
Tell us instead about the closest typo: discuss your most recent stonking bone-on (wide-on if you're a feminine type)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 6 May 2010, 11:41, 72 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Plane Crash - *Not* A Joke
The leader of UKIP (Nigel Farage(?)) was in a plane crash this morning.

He's injured but sitting up in the ambulance: the pilot has been taken to a spinal injuries unit.
(JohntheDane, Thu 6 May 2010, 10:33, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

POLITICAL REFUGE
This is the thread for discussions of anything but politics.

I don't know why they stopped selling Lucky Charms in England, they were my favourite breakfast cereal of all time. I know they sell them in Selfridges now, but they're well expensive!

What do you miss from times of yore?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 6 May 2010, 9:06, 159 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Next election thread
who will you be voting for today. If you're spineless you can use the minipoll instead. Actually everyone should put their answer in the poll so we know what sort of people - other than the obvious are using OT.

which cunt tickles your fancy?




( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 6 May 2010, 8:53, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

New Election Morning Thread
A caption compo which combines the two things b3tans adore, Fluffy kittens, and senseless violence:



I'll start off with. "When you get to Berlin, crap in the Kaiser's museli."

Alt Q. Form a B3tan government.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 6 May 2010, 7:39, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Why is American Politics so much more hilarious than ours?
Rabidly anti-gay campaigner hires rentboy and takes him on a European vacation

Alternatively, which MP would you go on holiday with?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 6 May 2010, 7:35, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

halp plz
Can anyone tell me the name of Atlas' (Astro boy's brother) wind up doll girlfriend?

Most often to be found winding down saying "Don't hurt Astro- he's your brother...."

I've looked it up on wiki and stuff but they're all snobs for the original series where Atlas wasn't even Astro's brother.
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Thu 6 May 2010, 2:50, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Last politics thread for a while, honest
If you had to cover yourself in butter and wrestle to the death with one political leader, which one would it be and why?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 5 May 2010, 18:42, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

when on public transport, i reserve the right to have a nose in your handbag if you plonk it in my lap.
I'll also poke you if you stand too close to me on the tube. Kicking and punching is reserved for a special breed of BUS SHITTER.

What delightful things do you do in public that would make your mother proud?

Alt Q: what's your favourite sandwich?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 5 May 2010, 17:30, 58 replies, latest was 16 years ago)