So, how many of you lot have fucked a sibling?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 17:40, 88 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Next week
I'm in London on a course next week - Sunday night, Monday night and Tuesday night I have to find something to do (I could hang out with my work colleagues who are also on the course but OH DEAR GOD NO).

I'm going to watch Scott Pilgrim at least one night, but would be happy to grab a few pints if anyone is in the Euston / Russell Square area those days.

AltQ - what else can I get up to in London that's in or not far from that area?

Edit: I'm off home now so I'll see if anyone at all has responded in about half an hour.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 16:47, 36 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

i fucked my long lost half sister who i care about deeply
lol
(__, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 16:26, 24 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I was bored.
So I opened a bottle of cider and now I'm less bored.

What have you done this afternoon to make the clock tick a bit faster?

Alt Q: What are you doing this weekend What was the best birthday or christmas gift you were ever given?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 15:36, 156 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I want to exact revenge on the Badger (grammar, not mighty nor amorous)
for being all mean to us four b3tan ladies and not even coming up with a good acronym to do so. LAAK is so hard to say, KALA would have been better.

So how would you avenge me? Or if you're on Vadger's side, how would you assist her?

Alt Q: what's your favourite condiment and which one do you hate?

Alt ALT Q because I know The Giant Bint hates them and repetition: WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND EH?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 14:12, 177 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Hello slackjaws
tell me your crazy dreams.
( WormuIus, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:45, 136 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Anyway
I've got a Breadmaker. I'm very pleased with it and tonight I'm going to attempt to cook my first loaf of bread.

Question is, should I follow Blaireau69's only sensible sounding bit of advice and weight the water to determine how much I need to add rather than relying on an innaccurate jug, or should I follow the seven step plan and crack open a few beers instead?

In other news, it's nearly saturday. What are you people up to? I'm gatecrashing a party.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 12:15, 139 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Following peer pressure from myself...
NEW THREAD.

Now, TGB/Lab is a Shithead thinks that Amberl, Applebite, Kitty and I are all interchangeable. Well, you can find out how well you can distinguish them with a quick and simple quiz.

www.proprofs.com/quiz-school/story.php?title=can-you-distinguish-members-laak

Of course, you could just...not.

Alt Q: What has made you laugh til you cried recently? Or cry til you laugh? Or show any emotion EVER?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:35, 230 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

new thread as the old one is big
and i have done fuck all today

alt q - do i need a q to post here?

alt alt q - i saw someone with a monster energy drink tattoo on their leg. what a fucktard. whats the worst body mod you have seen?
( zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 11:33, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right B3ta
I am now a little too excited about the up coming band practice I have on tonight. It's been far too long.

What have you got coming up that you're getting excited about? Monty round 2 doesn't count.

Alt Q: It's Friday, weekend plans you sexy people?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:47, 231 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm going to take Bartleby's thread as a win for team Monkeysex
Is that alright by everyone, yeah?
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 10:45, 33 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

my baby is due tomorrow
I am excited and scared at the same time. I am really proud of my other half. She has been great.

Anyway, that's all. I fully expect to get torn to shreds and ripped to pieces now (due to this post not being about MASSIVE DRUGZ or the mighty HONDA ACCORD).

So to validate this post, who has impressed you lately and why? What did they do to earn your respect?

Alt Q - tractor drivers at rush hour (Specifically on the A420). WTF, get off the fucking road!

Alt alt Q - if its a boy, should I name him Osama?
( zulu eh?, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 9:45, 140 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fuck the moronic, koran burning 'merkin. There is only one world news story we are interested in Today
Which base did Monty get to last night, and was it a genuine date, or a sting by the CSA?

Let's have your opinion, no matter how uneducated, before the old duffer turns up. He'll be either as smug as Piers Morgan, or miserable and need our support.

I reckon she offered him access to her lady garden, but he shit himself and hid in the broom cupboard until she went away.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 7:31, 232 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Windows 95? At this time in the morning? Fuck that. Here's some culture.
(in anticipation of Monsieur Boyce's next post!)

Cleaned me teeth, put on me best clobber.
T'night's the night I'm goin' f't nobber.
Vauxhall Viva's covered with rust
But you can't poke a bird on the twennynine bus ...
(1 ... , 2 ... , 1, 2, 3, 4)
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Fri 10 Sep 2010, 1:52, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What I want to know is, what was so wrong with Windows 95?
All this faffing about with operating systems, rejigging the doodad and big buttons all over the shop, what's it all about?
I get so lost trying to use the latest version of Excel, and it doesn't even seem to have any functionality that's radically different to the original version, they just change the interface and expect me to spunk my pants.

Fuck Off 7, Vista, XP and Mac OS, 95 is where it was at.

Alt Q. Why?
(The Cat Hater punch a cow for the planet, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 22:58, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

NEW THREAD
As Monty's tweed-clad thread of ubiquitous doom is rather full.

Which type of ghost would you most like to be? I choose Of Christmas Yet to Come, poultrygeist and Canterville.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 19:01, 147 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Righty-ho.
'I have a young la-dy' (Jimmy Saville voice) coming round to my chateau for dinner this evening. The last time I was in this situation I ended up nearly being knifed in the stomach and glassed (not that night, I hasten to add), and eventually in a year-long six grand legal battle.

I'm severely out of practice. Your handy tips please.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 15:49, 321 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Next Monty? Ok fine, you demanding little sod
What accent do you have b3tans?

What accent do you love and which one really makes you want to fuck shit up?

There's a freightfully pawsh lady in my awfice and I just larve her accent.

Alt Q: Do you have a speech impediment? If so why haven't you sorted it the fuck out?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 14:22, 286 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right new afternoon thread: It's not intellectual.
Would you rather be blind or deaf? give reasons

Alt Q: Lose a leg or an arm? give reasons
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 13:58, 120 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

HR Law.
Is it legal to have a policy that states that employees are to communicate only in English whilst in the workplace? It has just been suggested by my employer that this is the case; so in support of the Polish employees in the warehouse, myself and the chap in the next office are now speaking in French and Spanish.

Alt Q - Should there be?

Gracias.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 12:28, 194 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Tuna omelette with a bit of milk, nutmeg and parsley
and a couple of slices of serrano ham. That's my lunch for today and I can't stop thinking about it. I'm not even hungry, but I want it now.

What do you have in your head that's driving you mad?

Alt Q: Right, ok, I suppose I'll have to... What do you have for lunch today?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 9 Sep 2010, 11:10, 204 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So a couple of days ago I got a call from a recruitment company. It happens sometimes. I'm not looking for another job, but it sounded vaguely interesting so I said why not, chuck them my CV. They wanted a phone interview, so booked it for my lunchtime. Had a chat with them, they seemed nice enough, technical questions weren't terribly technical but whatever, at that stage I guess they just wanted to make sure I knew what a computer was. Then they wanted to get me in for a face to face.

Well we're really short-staffed at the moment and to make the interview for when they wanted to hold it, I'd have to really screw over my colleagues. It was only a punt, so I'm not prepared to do that and give them an alternative date. I figure if they really want to see me, they'll make arrangements. Sure enough, I get a call back. Rather than meet me at the office, which I can drive to, they want to meet me at a coffee shop outside a tube station in the middle of central London. This would take most of my morning off to get to and back and cost me over thirty quid for bus, train and tube fares. They know perfectly well which town I live in but scheduled the meeting to be more convenient for the interviewer than the interviewee, so I told them I was no longer interested.

Have you had any unreasonable requests lately?
( Kroney, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 10:31, 193 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Amsterdam
I'm at the airport about to board a flight to the 'Dam for 6 days of networking / socializing, what are your favourite Amsterdam haunts?

Alt q, the plane is tiny, tell us about your tales of inefficient transport?
(bill, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 9:09, 105 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This is not a new thread
I just wanted to wish Gonz a Happy New Year on behalf of us all here.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 8:44, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning all!
I'm a little tired today, went on a downloading spree last night, and ended up watching Four Lions, Iron Man 2, and the first episode of Sherlock (The TV Series). Iron Man was exactly as I expected, good fun, but that's about It.

However, Sherlock and Four Lions had me in absolute hysterics! So, what was the last film/tv series to have you laughing til you hurt?

Alt Q: What's the film that you hate, but everyone else seems to like? Mine are Superbad, Something About Mary and War Of The Worlds
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 9 Sep 2010, 8:17, 150 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Woo
Jim Jones Revue are playing in Exeter at the end of September for a mere £6!

Thanks for listening.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 8 Sep 2010, 22:30, 204 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evening thread
The others down there are pretty full dontcha know.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 8 Sep 2010, 18:19, 93 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Alright gentle off-topic-ers.
I'm on here to proudly boast that I appear to have upset the Usual Complainers on QOTW so much that one has made a post all about ME.

b3ta.com/questions/complaintsdesk/post855604

Where do I stand on your all-time list of b3ta's Internet Villains as a result?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 8 Sep 2010, 16:26, 180 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

B3ta Rhyming Mnemomics
sometimes have difficulty remembering who is who on here so have developed some snappy phrases to help connect personal traits to user names. So far I've got.

Wrist rigidity low - The Supreme Crow
Annoyed & bawdy - Al The Geordie
Desires to run her fingers through Jeff's curls - Blouse, Big Girl's
May soon develop arthritic hips - Porkylips
Probably doesn't live in the Sahara - Kitty O'Hara

So if you can help with any others I'd be ggreatly obliged. It could become a cut out and keep compendium for new users.
(Cave Duck, Wed 8 Sep 2010, 15:04, 224 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Right would you rather go without B3ta for 2 weeks or your social networking site of choice?
Alt Q: Also what smells remind you of being a kid?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 8 Sep 2010, 13:55, 230 replies, latest was 16 years ago)