Darth Foxtrot
During the Christmas break, I met DF's missus.

She's a very nice girl, as pretty a the pictures suggest and remarkable for three other reasons; she's real; she's a woman; she's incredibly tall.

What surprises have you had recently?
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Wed 5 Jan 2011, 6:16, 178 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Has everyone fucked off?
Or are you waiting for something to happen on here?

EDIT: Channel 4 is showing weird stuff again.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 21:33, 146 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Unintended euphemism of the week- Marmite smuggler.
What's yours?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 20:59, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Generic evening thread here
Evening all, how was your first day back at work?

If you've not had time off, unlucky.
If you're not back yet, you're a cunt.

Alt Q: The food thief in my house has struck again, stealing a full bottle of BBQ sauce, quite odd. What should I do to make sure this doesn't happen anymore? And I don't mean putting hot sauce on everything, too easy. Come on, be sadistic! This fucker needs to pay! I'm not the first to lose patience with them either.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 19:43, 108 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Holidaying alone is for sex tourists and widows.
Take a b3tan on holiday. Who would you take and where would you take them?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 17:55, 150 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

wow bobby
you've succeeded where jmg and every other /talker have failed... you've killed off-topic with that last thread!

not that this will breathe any life into it, but it's all i can think of today. what are you looking at right now (beyond b3ta, smartasses)?

alt q: if something looks great but is really uncomfortable, do you wear it and suffer, or look less great and be more relaxed?

alt alt q: having done holidays with family, small and large groups friends and various other halves, i am ashamed that i am reeeeeeally tempted to a holiday all by myself next year. is this chilled out and cool or is it horrendously anti-social and weird?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 16:15, 208 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

For those who aren't aware this week Radio 1 have put all the evening presenters in daytime slots
to introduce new music for 2011 and prob try and get some new listeners. It got me thinking which current or ex presenters would you like to place in a new show and why? eg. Bruce Forsyth presenting Snog Marry Avoid would make me chuckle.

Alt Q: Is it snowing where you are?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 13:54, 218 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Is it time for the first Lunch thread of 2011?
I've not decided yet, probably a Subway again.

Alt Q: What was your most enjoyable part of the Christmas break? My Christmas was a bit of a letdown, for multiple reasons, one of which was my Stepmum berating me for my drinking, even though I was drinking the bottle of wine she'd bought me.

The best part was my few days away from Cheshire, was great fun.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 12:14, 169 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Morning all!
I'm decidedly chipper today despite this being my first day back at work since the 23rd. What good bad/things are you expecting this sunny, non-cold January?

Alt Q:
Not New Years resolutions as such, but I've decided to do more stuff for me and the wife as most evening are spent slothing on the settee watching Sky Plus stuff. I have also decided to learn to juggle as each New year should have an unusual twist. What are you going to do differently this year?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 9:36, 83 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Back to work, back to reality
I have to go down four floors to the landlady's house to let the cats out, but it's still dark and I've got the jitters for some reason.

Anyone else back at work today?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 7:04, 119 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Anyone else watching the Big Fat Quiz of the Year?
thoughts so far? Fielding is a bit irritating, Ross is a tit, Alan Carr is funny though.

alt q: Who would you have on your ultimate quiz show. Four guests max. Go!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 23:02, 73 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

If it really came down to it,
assuming you'd come by their phone number or personal details, how likely is it that you'd send anything from an offensive message to a death threat to:

a) someone annoying from your personal life?

b) someone you'd never met or had anything to do with?

c) an annoying internet troll?

d) an alleged sex offender?

e) a convicted sex offender?
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 21:33, 18 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Today I found out that despite my better judgement you can actually roast mashed potato.
What did you find out today?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 20:16, 135 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Has everyone gone to the dogs?
I had a lovely New Year's eve. I threw up and fell asleep at 10pm. Beekers was to blame for bringing some shots into the equation. Had a grand day out in Edinburgh and got to the beach near DG and tourettes for a quick walk with Mildew.

The whole tone of the weekend was set by much perusing of DG's Viz album and Roger's fartlett dictionary of Viz's rude words and phrases.

Two days of hard work and then I'm off galavanting again. Huzzah!

How is everyone?
( girlinthehole, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 16:38, 113 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Has everyone gone to the sales?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 13:35, 171 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

My afternoon at a blues jam. Or, "Crow's life becomes a little more surreal, pt.2"
Many of you will remember the recent account of how Poppet and I got to Brussels just before christmas. I thought that was quite enough peculiarity to be going on with, but something wonderfully strange happened to me yesterday as well.

So, a question for the musicians: have you ever sat at a gig and thought, "Wouldn't it be awesome if one of the members of the band couldn't make it, for whatever reason? How great would it be if one of them went into the crowd and asked, 'Can anyone here play bass/guitar/harmonica/noseflute/sousaphone/triangle?', so you could step up proudly and announce, 'Fear not! I can do that!'"

Common sense would suggest this only happens in cheesy scenes in Hollywood films. However, based on yesterday afternoon's events, I can assure you: It happens. It fucking happens.

Lengthy and self-indulgent story in replies.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 11:44, 16 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

where is everybody???
this is nuts.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 3 Jan 2011, 9:36, 65 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

General natter.
If you were brave enough to do it, what would you change about your appearance?

ALT: What makes you cry?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Jan 2011, 0:33, 133 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Breaking News (in replies)
Q: Is this news?

Alt Q: Cowboy or Indian?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 23:51, 10 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

New thread time
What film are you most looking forward to so far in 2011? Mine is this www.youtube.com/watch?feature=iv&v=qO4Kffm0qIo&annotation_id=annotation_729002

Alt Q: Simple snack-like receipes (preferably low-calorie) throw them here!
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 22:19, 201 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Are you all hungover or something?
there's more life in Joanna Yeates knickers than in here.

I'm about 3 minutes from unleashing a torrent of bile and fury on my mother. I'll be so freaking glad to go home, even if it is freezing cold and dreary in my flat. Perhaps I'm being a terrible daughter and a downright cunt, but I'm inclined to believe it's at least 70/30 her fault. I suppose I should make more of an effort to not get annoyed by little things, but meh, effort.

What are YOU going to change this year?

disclaimer: I don't give a toss how lame this thread is, I'm bored out of my teeny tiny mind and if I go back downstairs I am likely to commit GBH if not murder
(berk, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 19:22, 219 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Alright?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 19:15, 7 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Where are all you cunts?
and why do I have a headache?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 12:26, 95 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Hey Jeff
Is this your new years resolution? (in replies)
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 2 Jan 2011, 0:57, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

So what were the highlights for you from 2010
a) Personally
b) Culturally
c) Off-topically
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 23:52, 187 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Anyone else spent the last 48 hour wobbly?
Tell me about your day.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 21:47, 231 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Best one line lyric in a song ever
I kind of reached the conclusion via an indepth discussion over on QOTW that Des'ree's "I'd rather have a piece of toast" is the worst but what's the best?
(Miss B3thpot, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 13:34, 25 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Who else made a complete twat of themselves last night then?
I forgot to eat, got abandoned by my friends so they could be cool somewhere I couldn't afford and apparently went to my pub before I went home. I am dreading work today. I knew I hated NYE for a reason.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Sat 1 Jan 2011, 7:58, 99 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

NEW YEAR.....
Whats your plans for the New Year?!!!
Top of my list...
1. Make some money
2. Riot against the goverment
3. Make some more money
4. ...More to come.....
(The Hitman, Sat 1 Jan 2011, 0:44, 6 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

strange text message
anyone else get stuff from 07914 814370? Cannot find out where these texts are coming from - used to be silent calls. tonights was actually a rather funny if slightly double-edged "joke". Does anyone know of a way of finding out?
Alt: Happy New one peeps x
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 31 Dec 2010, 21:26, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)