Did I ever tell you about the time
I went to Sainsbury's, right, and I was at the 'self checkout' bit, right, and I scanned a bottle of wine but it didn't scan properly so I GOT THE WINE FOR FREE!!!!!

Then when I looked at the receipt a second time, it turned out I had paid for it after all, I just didn't notice it underneath my 'buy one get one free' 'Be Good To Yourself' yoghurts.

OH MAN, THAT WAS SOME DAY....

Jesus Christ, people. Where did it go SO WRONG?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 16:52, 114 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

the RAC fixed my car last year
At the roadside I was quoted £110 for the part and he would through in some free leads, got the invoice breakdown through and the part cost £80 and I'd been charged £30 for the "free" leads.

I was just complaing and the guy on the phomne justified this by saying "well you paid what you were quoted"...not really the point you massive arsehat*

When have you beaten the system?

Alt: Did anyone see Jeff in the backround of crufts last night?

* from vippers
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:46, 85 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Long thread is long.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmi45-xw9tk&feature=player_embedded

Tell me about the greatest thing you've ever experianced.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 15:08, 157 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

What everyday things annoy you?
The unavoidable things you have to do, or feel you have to do to conform and function.

Alt: What musical skill would you like.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 13:41, 251 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Long thread is long
lunchtime.

what are you having?

mine is chicken balti soup, with marmite sandwich and a muller crunch corner

alt: ordered wedding rings yesterday, unexpectedly spent 10 times the intended amount on mine. What was the last expensive thing you accidentally bought?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 12:04, 210 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Did you know
that if you took the essence of NakedApe and condensed it down by just 29%, you'd end up with a nugget of idiocy so powerful it would alter the earth's orbit and tear a hole in the fabric of time?

Tell me another fascinating fact, either about a B3tan or just a general FACT-BOMB.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 10:21, 272 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Hello you beautiful bastards
I hope you all had an exciting fucking weekend. Mine was a mixed bag, a particular highlight being losing to my three-year-old nephew at tenpin bowling. I blame the bowling alley having been closed for a couple of years due to subsidence. Alley was on the wonk, innit. What did you get up to that you're thoroughly ashamed of?

Two-for-one Alt Q bonus extravanganza: Apparently today is international Steak & Blowjob day. How many of you will be honouring this? I'm going to admit my chances of coming home to find a steak waiting for me are very fucking slim. Obviously I will lobby for two blowjobs as a result of this. What theme or notion would you like to see recognised in the calendar?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:01, 184 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I have a motherfucking DATE
well. I think I do. It may just be platonic drinks. But even so, DRINKS. With a MAN. A cute man, no less!

What's made your evening/weekend?

Alt: if nothing has made your evening or weekend, what would?
(berk, Sun 13 Mar 2011, 21:41, 176 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Back to uni tomorrow,
one part of me can't wait the other part is sad about not going back to teach 1S. Give me two stars and a wish about your life at the moment. Two stars and a wish is an assessment for learning tool we use with the kids where they we find two positives with their work and one thing they wish to improve on - EG. No floating letters, Neat handwriting - Try to make all the letters face the right way.

Alt Q: What's your favourite dinosaur?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 13 Mar 2011, 19:55, 51 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Sunday Evening Thread!
Why is procrastination so very easy?

alt: What's this new week gonna do for you?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 13 Mar 2011, 18:27, 51 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Alright
How about that sport
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sun 13 Mar 2011, 16:17, 84 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Double or nothing, I'll win the lotto this time.
Anyone wanna buy a used lotto ticket? half price, 50p a line.

Alright?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 13 Mar 2011, 13:45, 55 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Smug alert
Just got up,having my first cuppa of the day and getting ready to go to Silverstone for a 'Red letter day' driving experience in an Aston Martin V8 Vantage.
So OTers, what does your Sunday have in store for you?

Alt q - Bacon. Fried or grilled?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sun 13 Mar 2011, 6:29, 40 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Ahoy!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 13 Mar 2011, 0:33, 86 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm struggling!
I'm meant to go to a birthday party this evening. I just DON'T want to go.

It's a friend's bash, and it will be full of her friends, so I don't know anyone particularly. Sure there will be food, but not one single male for me to dry hump and humiliate myself over.

What would you do?

Alt: Send me physic messages through the evening.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sat 12 Mar 2011, 20:26, 164 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Evening thread.
Just found out my fav pub band is on next Saturday at the local. Woo!

Pizza and chips for tea tonight. Woo!

What's making you go Woo?
( girlinthehole, Sat 12 Mar 2011, 18:17, 62 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I know this isn't links
But what with the tsunami going on etc this is the funniest thing I think I've ever seen.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HNRs7g9TlQ&feature=player_embedded
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Sat 12 Mar 2011, 10:09, 16 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

alright OT

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 12 Mar 2011, 3:35, 30 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

It's me again
Yes, how did you guess?
'Cause last time you were really impressed
And, I'm bolder, c-c-cold, gettin' colder
And, at the very same time, I heat up at a party
And, sold her, but, not with solar power
For far too long made mistakes
And, allowed a fat and ugly thing get in my way
Now I'm suitable an MC, I'm no in-between
Top-of-the-rank like Pearl and Dean
And, if you can't take the heat get outta the kitchen!

Any other post-pub-posters in da house!?!?!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 23:06, 157 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

OK friday night youtube disco
The theme is The End of the World

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag8XZSRcm-8&feature=fvst
www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eCQ9F1OPvs
www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJf2-XQDBTU
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYo2XlgL8pQ


(Actually I'm cheating, I've already made a compilation called Arockalypse now)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 19:51, 86 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

When b3ta and real life don't mix.
I've just read a friends status update "Anyone know any remedies for an eye twitch?"
I almost responded "Murder."

Tell me your tales.
alt: most of you have probably fucked off for the day, so, if you haven't list your favorite cocktails
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 18:06, 81 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

i'm genuinely interested. who here HASN'T been fucked by Sexface?

(Nobody Likes Mortal Wombat, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 16:44, 60 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Seriously?
Best song ever, and why. Go.

Alt: what did your last slave die of?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 15:48, 135 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

What do you reckon guys?
Can you stick a car to the wall with duck tape?
( WormuIus, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 14:36, 63 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

There's a movie-style montage of your life.
What music is playing and what have you achieved by the end of it?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 14:31, 50 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm fucking exhausted
and am very much looking forward to this week being over. I will no doubt have to come and do some work over the weekend though.

Tonight I am going to have delicious food cooked for me, and relax with friends. Tomorrow I am buying new boots and looking at cutlery and crockery, followed by cooking dinner for friends.

Sunday I will sleep.

What are you doing?

alt: I'm too tired to think of another question
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 13:19, 216 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Today I'm feeling a bit introspective and nostalgic
Remembering the Good Old Days, and those who are gone but not entirely forgotten.

Who do you miss, both IRL and on b3ta? Who do you wish would post again, and who are you glad to see the back of?

Alt: Boobs or bums?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 11:25, 209 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Never will you find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy
What quotes from films, TV or song lyrics do you find yourself saying in normal conversations?

Alt Q:
Best comeback line in film or TV?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 11 Mar 2011, 10:24, 123 replies, latest was 15 years ago)