What we need here is a new thread
If you had to describe yourself as a hat, what kind of hat would it be?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 19:22, 139 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

things that make you go FUCK
coming downstairs in the morning and finding out you left your snake's vivarium open the night before and you now have a small scared python lost in the house...

:(
( zulu eh?, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 15:19, 136 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Everyone's heard of the study where staring at womens breasts helps mens health
Well a radio talk show here has taken it upon themselves to ask women to send in photos of their cleavage to help men out.
A woman reponds calling them whores, that only whores flash their breasts and wear low cut tops.
So, are women that wear low cut tops and show lots of cleave whores?

alt: Car you've always wanted...
mine would be the Toyota Supra
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 14:38, 114 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

And now Nate Dogg is dead!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 14:32, 16 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

If you suddenly won £2.5m on the lotto....
How exactly would your life change? What would be different?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 13:05, 211 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

How much do you know about fellow b3tans?
I am aware that I talk about myself a lot*, and pay little attention to what anyone else has to say** so it is understandable that I don't actually know all that much about some of the regulars here, other than the meme-fodder.

This was spurred off by reading that Kroney's moustache is made of revenge.

alt: lunch?

*true
**not so true
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 12:18, 175 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

No more heroes anymore...................... so lets talk about you.
What do you hope to be doing in five years time?
( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 10:24, 151 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Good morning to you all.
Speaking as the villain of /OT, professional old person and purveyor of fine unpleasantness since 1854, I ask you to name the heroes of the modern age.

I nominate fat-tongued mockney imbecile Jamie Oliver for his school meals drive and for staffing Fifteen with society's rejects - we've done this one before, yes - and terminal dullard Bill Gates for his charitable donations. Who else is a Good Thing in these dark times?

Also done before but RIP Smiley Culture - you were a fucking GENIUS.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 9:01, 244 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

She caught my eye one cold cold night in November.
I had won a competition, I was in London enjoying my prize. The challenge had been to design a new method for honey production. My revolutionary idea was, in the production process, to replace bees with ants, ants which had been genetically engineered to be the size of echidnas. We would replace their antennae with new, specially designed with bespoke DNA, honey producing glands which I had, after much careful thought and mastication, named 'jackbones'.

My concept had won favour with the judging panel, a panel composed of the finest minds in the field. DNA was being sequenced, farms were being designed and I was basking in a glow that only the truly gifted enjoy.

My prize was a tour of Broadcasting House- that great symbol of excellence in journalism, of independence of spirit and clarity of purpose. A prize picked to mirror the very talents that enabled me to dream of jackbones and will them into their own existence.

I was ushered in to a hushed studio- the cameras with their ever-seeing, unblinking eyes focussed on a single spot at the end of the vast room, a spot inhabited by a being so otherworldly that I could not look away for fear that my soul would seep out of my pupils and congeal around my sasquatch feet.

Our eyes met for a moment and I found myself staring into dark, dark eyes that reeked of the grave. The pitch depths of these orbs spoke to me of terrible things; such terrible things, hewn from black marble as if in perverse worship of the very Beast itself.

She fixed me with her gaze, and with a voice as rich as the blood of Seebohm Rowntree, she began to speak. Such words I heard that I felt my blood run cold as it near froze in my veins. Words I had heard in fevered nightmares from which I would wake weeping and shaking.

"Good evening, I'm Fiona Bruce and I'm sitting on the luckiest chair in Broadcasting House".
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 22:41, 8 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

WTF?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 22:16, 79 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Smiley Culture killed in police raid, stabbed himself to death, apparently
Extremely ironic, given the title of his eighties hit, "Police Officer"

www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jOjZKDoo08&feature=player_embedded#at=39
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 21:12, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Long thread is long and old.
I just got back from seeing BB. In my absence, the cats have descended into anarchy, the gas company are asking for my kneecaps on a platter, and someone's been in my room. So today is a bit shithouse.

However, I have orange Lucozade and Tramadol, so I'm going to see what I can salvage of the night.

How do you cheer yourself up?

Alt: Youtube disco, baby.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 15 Mar 2011, 20:50, 161 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm working
I'm very much looking forward to this "working every day, every night and most weekends" business to be over and done with, which it should be by the end of next week.

Anything you are looking forward to?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 18:24, 214 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

So last night I spanged myself good and proper
Tell me about the last really spasticated thing you did?

Apple had to leave the room because she was laughing her stupid face off.

I'm not doing an alt question, I'm working at half capacity here.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 15:49, 153 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

That thread is old and fucking shit or a bit 'Monty' as we say
Soup is it food?

ALT: I won £22.50 at the dogs the other day, tell me of your betting triumphs or failures.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 14:30, 91 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

The Producer.
My short story The Producer is now available for free online.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 14:14, 12 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

That thread is rather slow or 'a bit NakedApe' as we call it on the Internet.
We don't have to have questions any more, it's legally acceptable not to. I've checked. So instead you can ask me one if you like.

Or don't - nom on about your fucking dinner if you must. I won't judge.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 13:35, 156 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Who's your favourite celebrity bender?
Alt: Why is /talk? Who is /talk?
(mingeswingers, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:31, 58 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

tell us about some misconceptions
eg: women think that make-up makes them more attractive, but most men will tell you they prefer bare-faced chic. or men think that women want to be porked by 12 inches of angry gristle for 2 hours straight when actually we'd like some expert foreplay and about 10 mins with a perfectly lovely average cock, thank you very much. what common misconceptions can you debunk?

alt q: it's 12.30 and nobody has asked what's for lunch yet?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 12:17, 143 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

That thread is not homoerotic enough for me
Shoe's maketh a man, tell me about your shoes?

ALT: What is your favourite minority? I like Gurkas because they have friendly faces
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 10:58, 184 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Don't make me start the 100 replies rule up again.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 9:50, 189 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Good morning benders.
I see we've been tarred with the homo hating brush. Pfft! I've actually has sex with lesbians and I enjoyed every minute of it.

Who have you had sex with that added a little frisson of anti-establishment danger.
( girlinthehole, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 8:01, 304 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Benders!

(mingeswingers, Tue 15 Mar 2011, 0:29, 6 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

So berk has a date/drinks lined up.
What are you doing to cop-off at the moment?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 22:28, 44 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Anyone have roommates?
You should do this (in replies).
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 22:14, 11 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

My friend just had a baby.
YaaY.

Now I'm feeling super hormonal.

So, I have a bottle of vodka and what might not be a completely safe pack of condoms.

Any takers?
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 19:30, 28 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

To complete another exciting day for Off Topic.
Tell us your evening plans and what you're having for dinner this evening.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 18:05, 64 replies, latest was 15 years ago)