Just a quickie
Hi everybody! Good to be back! Great holidays, lots of stories, now moving, not phone or internet yet, that's why it's only a quickie.

We'll be moving to Redhill around the 14th of April, but I start working in London next Monday. Anyone van offer me a floor where to crash for a couple of weeks?

Alt Q: what have I missed?

Alt Q2: have you missed me?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:03, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Why are first dates so annoyingly shit.
Why? Why? Why?

I know this didn't really deserve a new thread, but hey.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 23:01, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Are you calling my pint a puff?
Well? Are you? You want to step outside, mate?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 21:16, 89 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

what are you doing this evening?
i'm drinking alone in oxford like the sad business traveller i am...

Alt q - 4quid for a fucking pint! What has caused you to feel ripped off lately?
( zulu eh?, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 18:41, 123 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

What's is your favourite Arthropod?
I like crabs.

Alt: i have to do show and tell for a team away day tomorrow, something that represents my childhood and something that changed my life.

I may just bring in Uncle Richard's penis and kill two birds with one stone, but what would you bring?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 16:07, 53 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Sad chart thread is dead
Please move along now.

Irrational fears - do you have them and if so, what are they of? I cannot eat red apples for fear of falling asleep for 100 years

Alt:
Favourite police/detective/lawyer person. I'll pick Perry Mason
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 14:55, 142 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Good news everyone
The new updated Sad Chart is out.

Based on the number of posts made over the last two weeks (using the initial data from the original sad chart) this is a more acurate representation of how sad you really are. And we seem to have a new leader! Round of applause please!

A poorly made badger for the winner/loser available here
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:53, 120 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Internet nemeses
In honour of mine and B3th's new-found mongoose-snake relationship, who is your internet nemesis and why? I'm assuming that none of you are interesting enough to have a real-life nemesis, but if you have, go nuts.

Alt Q - whilst we're on the subject of VNV Nation songs, there's a live version of Honour 2003 on their album Reformation 1 which makes you wonder if they listened to the album before releasing it. Ronan Harris is very obviously either fucked off his face or gargling cum as he sings. Is there anything more disappointing, musically, than a shite live version of a great song?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 12:44, 21 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

so apparently Royal Mail have to shred 25 million letters a year because people are too stupid to put the right address on the envelope
Apparently, something like 'Mr Davies, Manchester' isn't quite enough detail.

What's the most exciting thing you've ever sent / been sent in the mail?

Alt: food, or something?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 22 Mar 2011, 11:48, 142 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

It's a bit slow on here today.
Whose fault is this and what should we do to them to get our revenge?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 10:43, 164 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

You know Tuesday?
It feels exactly like Monday when you've been off.
Name something and tell me how it feels.

Alt: Who has set my bathroom radio to Classic FM? Some ponce, I'll wager.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 7:59, 181 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Alright Dave
Havent been here for a while, you've done the place up nice I see.

Right, this is how it is. I have suddenly become a right billy no mates. Specifically, none of my meat friends have ever heard of the rather fine comedian Doug Stanhope and I have two tickets to go and see him in Manchester on Wednesday night this week.

So, if you're in Manchestohhhh, wednesday evening, and have a burning to desire to meet a bonefide internet truthsayer, such as myself, and accompany me to the gig, we can pretend to be friends for one evening.

The ticket is free, but I expect recompense in the form of drinks, probably 2, tops 3; its a school night for me.

It's at the Dancehouse, Oxford road, can meet you in the Salisbury, cos thats fucking original isn't it.

In the event of several people actually wanting to go, I will choose one at random, or with my special list of character traits I look for in a fake friend.

If youre a ladee, then probably best if you dont meet random lying blokes off of the internet really so think carefully. That said, breasts do feature in my special list of character traits.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 0:03, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Disappointment
would be defined, at the moment, by being in Yuma AZ, just across the border from Mexico, going into a Mexican restaurant and finding out that you cook better Mexican food than the Mexicans do. And I'm German/Irish.

What has both amused and disappointed you lately?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 21 Mar 2011, 21:54, 79 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I see that the headline acts for both Reading and Leeds have been announced.
What are you doing this evening?

Alt: Favourite ever newspaper headline,
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 20:39, 120 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Thinking of booking Egypt for July
Fuck me, their laws are strict.

www.fco.gov.uk/en/travel-and-living-abroad/travel-advice-by-country/middle-east-north-africa/egypt#locallaws

Any scary holiday stories?

Alt: If you had to grow a tash, what type of tash would it be?
(mingeswingers, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 19:51, 8 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Movies you thought would be shit but actually weren't. Or the opposite.
I recently watched The Runaways, and I thought it would be shit, but I quite liked it.
I don't care if you disagree. Kristen Stewart looks great in tight leather pants.

Alt: Music you're now into?
Flogging Molly is new for me, I listened to a shit ton of their music last week.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 17:57, 118 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Everyone is very angry today
I am going here tonight for dinner: www.benaresrestaurant.com/

What have you never eaten and would like to? Also what would you never eat?

ALT: Who has the stupidest name of any one you know? A chap at school was called Willy Cramp
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 16:00, 150 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Amazing how many people are eager to ignore the old maxim about never discussing religion or politics.
What cliches or sayings do you consider to be completely justified - and which are obviously bollocks? Take my meme, for example. Right now I'm getting my Duran on (again), straight after work I've got my Argentine Tango class then home for Glee. And yet you lot think I'm a ridiculously camp bumlord of The Clan Gloryhole. Madness.

Alt Q - most pointless sport. I vote golf. Please try to make your answers slightly more imaginative than "they're all fucking shit", we need REASONS, dammit.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 14:38, 233 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Too much bloody politics on here today so have this.


What must you have soon or you will burst?
( girlinthehole, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 13:02, 189 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

You know that advert for AXA insurance which has people shoving and getting in each other's faces on the pavement?
It says "You wouldn't behave like this on foot...", well I can assure you I fucking well would if I could get away with it. If the likely outcome wouldn't be a good telling off from a law enforcement officer or a thorough kicking from a harder man.

What false advertising has irked you lately?

Alt Q - what would you practice on a daily basis if you were confident there'd be no reprisals?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 11:45, 210 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

You know what I hate?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 10:21, 198 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

what are you looking forward to this week (or not)?
I have a week of nothingness - unless things go wrong and - have to fix them

Alt q - Rick Wakeman? Prog-rock genius or a stupid twat in a cape playing the organ?
(CheatingRabbit, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 8:23, 129 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

MOR-NINNNNNNGGGG.
Good day to you. It's Monday morning again, deep joy. But is it going to be a good week? Yes? Why? No? Why? Don't know? WHY?

Remember, it could be worse - you could be Peter Tatchell.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 21 Mar 2011, 8:20, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

cool video for the end of the evening
mindcrap.com/index/video/transformer-car

what's the best fancy dress you've ever worn/seen?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 20 Mar 2011, 22:30, 13 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'll bet either Blousie or Roota are watching Duran Duran on the tellybox.
What wagers would you make with some confidence this evening?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 20 Mar 2011, 20:51, 63 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Afternoon, kids!
Is it nearly bedtime. yet?
Alt: Where the hell are you?
Alt alt: What's your favourite colour?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 20 Mar 2011, 16:00, 126 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Morning grapple fans!
Wide awake, no hangover and a sore neck. Had a lovely night last night. Great music and some laughs with a few guys from Bolton who had come over. Plus a good gore film on the TV and some chips to finish the evening off.
( girlinthehole, Sun 20 Mar 2011, 9:01, 55 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Men
Stop making me cross by being stupid.

What is everyone up to for the rest of the weekend, seeing as the sky is promising us a little more sun tomorrow?
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Sat 19 Mar 2011, 18:19, 38 replies, latest was 15 years ago)