Alright bummers?
This week's tune that I am obsessed with is The Sun Can't Compare by Larry Heard. Before that, it was Scraper by Liquid Liquid, then just prior to that it was back to Unfinished Sympathy.

As an aside, I first heard Unfinished Sympathy when i was 10, back in 1990. It was on a Now That's What I Call Music tape (Google informs me Now 19, fact fans, as can be found here www.nowmusic.com/albums/now-thats-what-i-call-music-19). In fact, I loved it back then. I had no idea why, I had no idea what the lyrics were about, what sampling was, about how the production on the strings part was impeccable and I certainly had no idea what a breakbeat was (boom thwack boom boom thwack, in simple terms, fact fans) but I was obsessed with it for what must have been a couple of weeks at least.

That was cathartic as fuck, my fellow travellers.

CATHARTIC AS FUCK.

Now, tell me, who else watched La Bruce presenting the news last night and drifted off into a near pornographic reverie?

NOT ME, THAT'S WHO.

As you were.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 25 May 2011, 20:41, 112 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I just saw a red kite (bird of prey)
fly past my window! woo!

what can you see out of *your* window? Is it as cool as a bird of prey?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 May 2011, 19:11, 33 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

well slap me in the face and call me a cunt
today has been pretty awesome and off to Hooters later (no I've not got a shit Rory you uber cunt)

why are you smiling today?

alt q: what's wrong you miserable cunts?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 25 May 2011, 16:42, 88 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Fuck me, I'm bored.
And people keep promising me a heatwave, which never shows up. I should probably stop listening to Camping for my wether reports.

How can I cheer myself up this dull, boring Wednesday afternoon?

Alt: potatoes - skins on or off?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 25 May 2011, 15:28, 132 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

This is the funniest trollsite (website) ever

www.trollshop.net/trolls/troll-jokes/

What's your tollorite (favourite) trollsite (website) troller (ever)
(PsychoChomp, Wed 25 May 2011, 13:49, 96 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Tapas
I'm having a few friends round at the weekend (read: night alone crying into my wankerchief) and am considering putting together some Tapas. I'm going to go for some rice with chorizo and prawns, patatas bravas, spanish omelette and some bread with oil/balsamic.
Any other ideas?

Alt q: Favourite song with baby in the title. No paedos allowed.
(TheColonel, Wed 25 May 2011, 11:39, 217 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Imagine you are able to kill NakedApe without ever being done for it.
You can do it any way you like, and get extra points for inventiveness but not necessarily for being over-elaborate. How would you free the world from this ghastly cancer for ever?

I'd beat him to death with one of Kroney's frozen poos, myself.

Alt: which is the best beer?

As you can guess I am bored and uninspired today. I blame YOU. And 'The Jews'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 25 May 2011, 10:19, 126 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Morning all!
I slept for nearly 12 hours last night, after yesterday being told that my role in my company is being changed slightly, and that I'll have more to do. All in all, I feel great this morning!

How are you lot doing?

Alt: Marmite banned in Denmark. Regardless of whether you're a lover (Vipros, Me, etc) or a hater (Kitty, Berk, etc), what's your opinion on having a food banned for having 'added vitamins and minerals'?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 25 May 2011, 8:53, 146 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Hey OT
I realise you're all happily alseep, but I'm a bit drunk now, so hello.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 25 May 2011, 3:39, 13 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I look like a rat and I smell of excrement.
What stops you from getting enough sex, fellow B3tans?

Edit: If I don't get a sufficient number of embarrassing and revelatory responses I shall go downstairs and hurl a bottle of wine at the kitchen wall, I really will.

Edit, Edit: My four-year-old will be traumatised for life...

OK, forcing me to do this now: It's going to be a Chateau D'Yquem '96...

Bah! You shall all play Gannymede to my Zeus. No quarter given.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Tue 24 May 2011, 18:02, 189 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Typical Daily Mail response of a local newspaper
Coming over here with their fancy foreign ways. Kill 'em all!

Discuss.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 24 May 2011, 17:35, 14 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Right, bollocks to NakedApe and his fucking BBC Micro issues.
It's 4:35ish - I challenge you to post something that is neither pathetic nor dull.

Can you?

EDIT: Alt for NakedApe only, can you spell 'received'?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 16:37, 105 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Hello IT bods and people what know shit about computers
This is a cry for help. I need a new laptop and I'm looking for suggestions on where is best to buy from, good brands and minimum specs.

I really only use it to surf the internet, download music and films and a little work, so it doesn't need to be specced to the tits, but good for a few years and with decent memory.

Any suggestions will be kindly recieved.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 14:39, 95 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

What was the last single item you spent £20 or more on?
Alt: The perfect sandwich contains.... ?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 24 May 2011, 13:24, 220 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Raptor news
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-13516796

What would make you consider giving away all your worldly possetions?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 24 May 2011, 12:49, 20 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Right that one's died as well.
what was your favourite childhood hobby? Do you still indulge in it now?

Minus points for tedious noncing/wanking references.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:36, 13 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I like beasts

( WormuIus, Tue 24 May 2011, 11:35, 7 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

have you twats run out of things to say already?
it's Tuesday, that clearly means we all need to know what each other has planned for the bank holiday weekend.

I'm going to help my dad restore an old wooden boat, then I'm going to get horribly wasted.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 May 2011, 10:29, 107 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Maaaarnin'.
How are we all today? And what delights does Tuesday hold for you, you fucking knob?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 24 May 2011, 8:51, 179 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Morning all
I got up in the middle of the night to put on some boxers as I'd woken up and didn't know where I was or who i was in bed with and it felt like an essential thing to do, I've shared a bed with the same person for 8 years.

Tell me about your bad sleeping habits.

ALT: Did you know Al has a superinjeunction out so that we can't publish details of him fingering a pig at Nottingham urban farm?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 24 May 2011, 8:49, 9 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

O HAI AL AND CHICKENLADY

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 23 May 2011, 21:52, 35 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Lordy I'm shattered.
Tell me something that makes you go 'lordy'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 23 May 2011, 21:51, 48 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

The Disappointed here...
Making quite clear that he's been up to afternoon drinking again.

Communicate your woes and aspirations below. Regard this as the Parish Noticeboard - relate your intentions for jumble sales, wife-swapping parties etc..
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Mon 23 May 2011, 18:48, 119 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

What's going on?
Alt: what's going off?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 23 May 2011, 16:46, 90 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

New thread
Because labs and Vipros flirting is making me feel sick.

Now as we're all middle class white people tell me how middle class you are.

I'm so middle class I didn't know what a salad bar was until I was 17.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 23 May 2011, 14:49, 158 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

What are you hating right now?
I'm hating mushrooms still, after trying them again. I'm hating people who fart at gigs and others who don't know that they sway side-to-side during the slower, quieter tracks meaning everyone for eight rows behind them has to keep craning to change their view. I sometimes fantasise about fronting up to some of these cunts, but really I'm hating violence pretty much all the time and I like my nose the way it is.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 23 May 2011, 13:58, 133 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

the mention of spiders in the hair below
reminded me of a "worst thing to say during sex" thread from another forum many years ago. My suggestion was "Hey! Hundreds of baby spiders are hatching in your hair!"

What's yours?

Alt: I had to do a demo this morning of a product we're developing to a selection of the end-users. I was dreading it but it went really well and they're all impressed with it. What did you dread that turned out well?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 23 May 2011, 13:57, 11 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Class Reunion
I've got a reunion this saturday with my secondary school class. I think I remember most of the names of people who are going, but a lot of them have far cooler lives than me.... married with kids or doctor and all that.

I guess I'm not the worst, although I'm really really fat, there are some people there who (from facebook) look like they're in their late 30s or even early 40s. And there is probably a few who have had to have DNA tests ala Jermey Kyle.

So, I've got a week to do something totally rad so I can walk away going "Oh my goodness, just look at what a state _that_ turned into".

alt: Lunch is "Radiant Rainbow Layers" fruit cocktail from marks.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 23 May 2011, 12:58, 58 replies, latest was 15 years ago)