Is this a wind up?
Every time I've posted today everyone else has fucked off for about half an hour.

I got wet today. But not as wet as BGB did on saturday night when she kissed me full on the lips.

What did you do today?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 May 2011, 19:47, 67 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Last night I had this really strange dream
Where me and my American housemates decided to have a doctor come to the house to see if we were all healthy. This little indian doctor came round, and decided to take a pint of blood from three veins in the crook of my elbow. I woke up with a nasty pain from shoulder to little finger.

I don't have a question, I just thought i would share that because I'm a naked 22st bloke on the internets.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Mon 30 May 2011, 19:07, 21 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Martin Collett jumped under my train on Friday night.
He fucked up a lot of people's plans, as well as upsetting our driver, and the small matter of murdering his ex-girlfriend last Tuesday. I'm glad the crunchy bastard is dead. What are you glad about?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 May 2011, 18:02, 25 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I've had a nap.
Beat that Interweebs.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 May 2011, 15:08, 32 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Can we have this?
www.rathergood.com/moon_song
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Mon 30 May 2011, 8:05, 40 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Hangover Sunday
My hangover scores a 7 out of 10 today.

How are you feeling?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 29 May 2011, 12:37, 83 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

The Co-Operative.
"Gerd with Ferd."

Christ that boils my piss. Couldn't they pay someone with proper pronunciation or at least someone who's been to elocution lessons?
(ThatNiceMan thought he was being funny, Sun 29 May 2011, 0:38, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Does Hugh Fernley-Whittingstall...
Take it up the wrong 'un?
(ThatNiceMan thought he was being funny, Sat 28 May 2011, 23:58, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Today is the start of something new
I will very shortly be leaving Suffolk in favour of Cornwall, to live in a tent (all I can afford) and work as a power kite instructor for as long as I can stand living in a tent which - as you would agree if you had seen my flat - is likely to be all summer. As such my internet access is going to be very patchy from now on.

Wish me luck!

Alt: Fuck you and your miserable, non-beach orientated lifestyles.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Sat 28 May 2011, 9:15, 17 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I've just drunk a bottle of Black Sheep's Riggwelter
And now I have a bottle of Shepherd Neame 1698. There's one more in the fridge, I can't for the life of me remember what it is though. Something with a daft name, I'm sure.

What stupidly named drink do you like? What's the stupidest named you've drank, liked or no?

Should I see what delights the off-licence can offer and make a night of it? It would involve putting my trousers back on.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 27 May 2011, 21:10, 18 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Working weekends
Anyone do it?

Myself i am working tonight and sunday night. Bit shit really when your mates are out for a beer.

Anyone else?
(Booked_moss, Fri 27 May 2011, 19:39, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Woo! Bank Holiday time.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 27 May 2011, 18:39, 28 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

My eye is bright red and is fucking knacking me
What injuries are you currently sporting?

I have bong-eye and a dog bite on my leg at the moment

ALT:
What faux-pas should I make this evening at a wedding do?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 May 2011, 15:33, 111 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Someone found out about Chompy's "evening activities" and he's been on a shooting spree

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-13570588

Ironic BBC news thread
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 14:36, 138 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I've just noticed
The little bins in the ladies toilets have braile on. Yuk.

What has made you laugh this afternoon.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:56, 134 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm bored with that already.
Tell me your best conspiracy theories. Extra points for anyone who suddenly 'disappears' in the next few days.

Alt: what can all us non-cool kids do thi sweekend while everyone else is off partying it up?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:21, 188 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Hello everyone! I haven't been here in a very long time but I am in dire need of all of your help
I have been up all night rallying people together to vote for this, please please please please please bloody vote


www.co-operative.coop/join-the-revolution/gioto-garbage-slum-project/

We jumped about 200 votes last night into second place and we’re only 300 away from being first.

It’s a project set up by my best friend who was teaching in Africa at the beginning of the year. I’ve been working really hard with her to raise money and going into schools etc and the money from this would be absolutely fantastic. I won’t bore you with details, all the info about it all is on that link.

And this here’s a little video to watch if you ain’t busy

www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCI05evEIV0

We’re being beaten by the Middleton Popstars Academy of performing arts, whose goal with the money is ‘through our workshop & performance we aim to reflect the unique abilities, opinions of young people’ At least vote for us to stop that from EVER happening, ever.
(i should have joined myspace, Fri 27 May 2011, 10:42, 69 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Thread too long.
As I am a man of my word, I asked my chum for his pizza dough recipe. It's Jamie Oliver's one:

www.jamieoliver.com/recipes/pizza-recipes/pizza-dough

Question: Can you name a better newspaper headline than this one?

www.shoutingatco.ws/blog/2011/05/13/daily-sport-brides-och-aye-the-poo/

(full credit to Cancer Joy)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 9:50, 145 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Righty-ho. Freitag is here. The bank holiday weekend is here. Grey, windy weather is here.
I do hope Chateau le Blouse isn't washed away by terrible floods on Saturday night, leaving literally tens of bedraggled ba$h0rz clinging to the roofs of jerry-built terraced houses, cradling bottles of smelly brown beer in their weedy arms and sobbing their little hearts out that if only they were in the affluent south where people can afford warm, dry weather, they wouldn't be in this mess - like ARBITER OF TASTE Monty Boyce who AT THIS VERY MINUTE is safely ensconced within the womblike embrace of Aylesbury Waterside Theatre, getting his stone groove on and frugging wildly to the crazy freak-out sounds of septuagenarian space-rockers Hawkwind. But no, not us. Here we are, our faces streaked with coal and tears, wi'out so much as a coop 'a' Tetley to warm uz cockles. Eeh, shite, lad.

My question to you is a simple one: Why don't you? Why-y-y don'y you? Just switch off your television set and go out and do something less boring instead*?

*such as set fire to an abandoned fridge on a derelict industrial site, or build a bomb-shelter out of your own shit, eh 'Belfast Gang'?

Alt for those under 35 who have no clue about my previous Q: tell me something about you or your life that I might find interesting or amusing, such as
a) the funniest thing you've seen lately
b) the worst case of 'making an idiot of oneself' you've seen lately.

Something like that. Go on, post something. This is also a LURKER AMNESTY. I promise to make up a LOLARIOUS NICKNAME OR MEME about you that will make you feel IMPORTANT AND INCLUDED in the /OT LOL-gang. Look at Happybara - he's a genuine legend on here and all we needed was some basic information about his femurs and the scent of his missus's anus, and now look at him.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 8:20, 232 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

alright quenders?
a/c

Anyway, dead thread is thread. What electronica or drone metal have you been listening to tonight?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 27 May 2011, 0:01, 9 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

An evening with Lighty
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/23569

Get involved.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 May 2011, 19:57, 175 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I have wine and food on the go.
My house is ready and I am allowed to get excited now. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

The cats could do with a brush but I'll get Lampito to do that on Saturday.

Wassup B3tans of the night?
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 May 2011, 18:58, 104 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Fucking hell, there appears to be two /offtopic pages this week.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 26 May 2011, 16:46, 33 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

The afternoon has been and almost gone, it's afternoon tea time
but what is the best afternoon tea food, crustless sandwichs, scones, jam and clotted cream, biscuits or cayke?

ALT: Coincidences, tell me weird shit that's happened to you.

ALT ALT: Why is Monty so bitter?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 May 2011, 16:06, 129 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Lunchtime has been and gone.
Of all the cultures/civilisations in the history of this waki, waki world, which is/was best and why? And if you could have a one-way ticket to this time/place, would you? WELL?

Alt: nommy nom nom, zombies, cayke, HSH.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 May 2011, 14:04, 210 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Well I make that lunch TIME*.
*Just for B3th
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 26 May 2011, 12:40, 181 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

New QOTW vote-me-up
The Question of the Week vote is HERE

THAT IS ALL.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 26 May 2011, 12:09, 17 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Slo-o-o-o-ow thread...
I'm off on a MEGALAD stag do next weekend, although this does mean going to Wales, tell me you stag/hen do related stories?

ALT: Do you think we as a country sucked enough Obama dick whilst he was here?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 26 May 2011, 10:51, 206 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

WEEEEEE-eEEEEEeee-EEeeeeeeeeee-eeeeelllllll! /Lulu
I've got tomorrow off cos some fly dude from the internet is coming to collect me in his pimp-mobile and we're picking up some hot honeys on the way to some kind of club and karaoke night, followed by a car-boot sale and abseiling on Saturday, Craig David in Sunday. You don't give a fuck what I'm up to this weekend. I don't give a fuck what you're up to this weekend, no one does apart from you. Shame, innit.

I'm more interested in what colour pants you're wearing today?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 26 May 2011, 8:46, 121 replies, latest was 15 years ago)