AHOY!

(PERSONALITY HORSE Graham Tapes - free download album - coming soon, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:46, 4 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Time for a new thread?
Yeah, I think so. I'm one week into my new job, and I've never felt so overwhelmed.

Apparently I'm doing well. Who knew?

Oh yes, happy birthday Gonz, and does anyone have a birthday cake, hake or quite possibly a rake for him?

Or just a lunch thread?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 31 Oct 2011, 13:02, 227 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I DUN A SHIT UP A POST BOX.
Biscuit?
(PERSONALITY HORSE Graham Tapes - free download album - coming soon, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 11:44, 6 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

So Jimmy 'clubland enforcer and known torturer' Saville is DEID.
Here's a fitting tribute to his...ah...interests. It's what he would have wanted, the sickening, dirty, twisted old cunt.

He was the first person to DJ with two turntables, you know.

www.myspace.com/amazingspacefrogsmusic/music/songs/i-m-into-necrophilia-39891662
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 11:12, 149 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday to You
Happy Birthday Dear Gooooooonz
Happy Birthday to You

Please leave a suitably mis-spelled message here for Gonz.
( thealternativefact, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 10:40, 36 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Clocks back and forward
So do we really need to do this any more? I find that with the invention of "street lights" it is perfectly possible to walk around in the dark without injury. If a few pasty ginger Scottish kids get run over then so be it

What did non-bash attendees get up to this weekend?

Alt:
Thomas the tank engine or Roary the racing car?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 6:24, 195 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I need a job
My bank just declined payment on my card for a loaf of bread. A LOAF OF BREAD. Fuck knows what I'm going to eat.

Any recommendations?
( WormuIus, Sun 30 Oct 2011, 20:55, 144 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

What is going on with the world.
Firstly. I go shopping this weekend and it would appear the 'Christmas jumper' is back in fashion.

Secondly. There seems to be some sort of fashion for 'men' where the bottom of trousers are elasticated.

What is going on?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 30 Oct 2011, 16:14, 91 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

So, turns out, Brooks now does take aways and deliveries.
That's right, one of my favorite resturants in the whole wide N14, will deliver Ribs to my place ! AND, and, they've improved the menu, they do THREE different types of glazes for ribs now. And they got loads more stuff. OH GEE OH GOSH, this is the best birthday present evah, this news, that is. I'm going to try it tonight, see if it's just as amazingly good. I had the hot dog yesterday and it was oohhh kay, not great, but OK. RIBS RIBS RIBS FOR MY DINNER, RIBS RIBS RIBS, MAKE ME A WINNER.

I had a big 1l bottle of smirnoff ice last night, and I've got an iron bru WKD that I might have today.

Today's Random Thought: Is budapest anything to do with buddism?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 30 Oct 2011, 12:42, 29 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Right Monty! Remember that beer I sent for you to try
Well I was at a charity event today and bought 31 raffle tickets cos the prize was a crate of the stuff and of course I fucking won it. I'm now putting a large dent in it and am nicely pissed.

So even though it is half nine on a Saturday night and you and anyone else with a fucking life are not around I feel compelled to ask to B3ta masses "Why the fuck do people believe in any God when the whole idea is so preposterous?" Oh and if he is so fucking great why did it take 1000000000000 years to invent film? Monty is really in to film.

Oh yeah and he took his fucking time getting to decent 60's and 70's rock too.

alt. if you were in the 1500's and some fucker tried to entertain you with a lute where would you tell him to stick it?

alt alt. My kids are fucking awesome. If you don't have kids feel free to have some moan about a. people that do have kids or b. why you never would have kids but I can assure you that nearly everyone who does have kids (even monty the most negative person you know) thinks they are fucking awesome. Today I had to go to this charity thing where a mate and his misses shaved there heads. My mother said "I think you should explain what is about to happen to Akira so she doesn't get scared" I said "Akira Andrew and Jenny are going to have all their hair cut off in a minute" Her response was "SHOW ME!" she dragged me to the front of the hall and whilst the guy from the local papers was taking pictures of them with hair she was hitting them with a balloon shouting "DO IT! DO IT!"

I fucking love my kids. What have you witnessed younguns doing that made you larf?

This thread will get less than 5 replies. Night night.
( Peej, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 21:50, 141 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Lordy
I fell asleep and had a proper big snooze. Now I feel a bit sick and don't fancy going to the pub.

What a waste of a saturday night.

What are you doing?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 20:23, 167 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

RIP Sir Jimmy Saville
What would you most like him to have fixed for you?
ALT- Favorite single performance from any Top of the Pops? By an artist, I mean.
(Glucose-Maximus All over the world., Sat 29 Oct 2011, 16:03, 26 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Good morning Off Topic!
I've only just been drinking and looking at facebook and people I went to high school with.
I've decided I need to lose 8,000 lbs.
And become an astronaut in order to look cool. Or maybe drive a ferrari and have Angelina Jolie in the passenger seat.

Have you made any special decisions lately?
alt: it's the mother fucking morning and it's mother fucking snowing...in mother fucking OCTOBER!
What's your fave snowy morn breakfast?
( Lisette von Falcon, Sat 29 Oct 2011, 8:20, 89 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I'm currently watching TV shitfest the batchelor.
What shite do you watch on TV that you'd rather punch a kitten in the face than watch, but have to cause someone else does?

Alt: What biscuits are you having with your tea or coffee?
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 22:24, 40 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I'm getting a kitten in 5 weeks.
My 3 year old wants to name if Fluffy.
Never happening.

I need names:

So far I have Deathclaw, Lord Scarypants, Captain Bitesy, Doomcat, Catzilla, Dr Scratchy, Frankenstein and Sully (Monsters Inc.).
Ideas?
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 20:20, 79 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

New question time
What is the best way to annoy your wife/husband/gf/bf/inflatable goat when they have pissed you off, you want some sort of revenge, nothing too nasty, but don't want an argument?

Singletons & shut-ins - how do you invoke revenge on those who smirk at your ready meals for one?

Alt: What's for supper?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 19:59, 42 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

We need an evening thread
well, I do, just to keep me entertained.

What's your favourite word?

alt: What's your least favourite word?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 19:59, 24 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

That was the week that was.
I think this place has picked up a bit in the latter part of this week. Legless being a spastic and that dismal cretin Adam have inspired cross-board jollity which I for one applaud.

I have liked and enjoyed the visits from Janet, Mark Morrison's etc. It’s been a bit fucking dull on here recently. That’s all I have to say.

Cheers.

EDIT FOR BOBBY: What are you 'really into' at the moment? Apart from my LOLarious mum, naturally.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 15:57, 181 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

It's my birthday on monday.
What shit you getting me?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 13:24, 220 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

it's almost lunchtime
which means it's almost the weekend! What are you up to? i am going for dinner at a gentlemans club this evening, FISH TACOS ALL ROUND!

alt: What's the gayest animal?

What is the gayest animal





( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 11:51, 92 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

so at the risk of kicking up another mushroom cloud like yesterday
one of the phrases that gets thrown around by the trolls and the trolleds alike is "it's just words on the internet".

how true is this phrase? should anything on here be taken seriously at all? have YOU ever taken anything on here seriously?

alt: i'm hungover, make your own up!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 9:52, 246 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Well that was a jolly interesting afternoon in B3taland wasn't it boys and girls
The question is, can anyone ever surpass the zenith/nadir of B3ta's existence that was Legless' post? Unifying all posters in an outpouring of derision like that was a masterstroke. Right? He should work for the UN or something. Will we ever see the like again?

Yes, we will. Adam Oftitweak QC. Matter of time.

What are you looking forward to, B3ta? What joyous events are on the horizon that are providing you with sufficient impetus to drag your carcass through another working day?

Alt: Is it just my workplace that's encouraging Halloween-themed decoration three days early? Are you dressed up? What was your best-ever Halloween costime?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 8:27, 232 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

HELLO you fluffly OT types.
I'm going to start a thread cause I'm a beakering shite and then troll the life out of you.

Are you all in bed? Is it bedtime? Should I be in bed?

Alt: Who here on OT are the nice ones and who are the Nasty Nicks?
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 23:15, 92 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

SCANDAL
My mum decided to get back with my dad, despite an internal campaign to expose him as the muppet he is. Who'd watch soaps eh? Real life is much more interesting(!) What was the best scandal in your family? Someone you know fucked off with someone else, someone stole something and you never told, you smashed someone's fishtank* and never admitted it. Tell, or talk codshit like you usually do.

* euphemism, if you like
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Thu 27 Oct 2011, 20:15, 190 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Does anyone want a 24 hour stepping?
Rob is taking requests over on /Talk. Quick, while there's still some available.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 20:13, Reply)

NONE OF THIS WAS MY FAULT.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 20:08, Reply)

racist qotw closed
I took decision based on a couple of complaints from boarders and my own reading of the thread - fuck it - it's closed now. New question up.

Edit: ah fuck it. It's all being trolled to death. QOTW closed until tomorrow when presumably people will have calmed down. Other stuff to do.

edit2: Pissing heck. Original QOTW back. I really am walking away now.
( rob, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 19:42, 27 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Oh my horsey god!
this is the funniest thing I've heard in ages

www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01681l4/Warhorses_of_Letters_Episode_1/

oh yeah, a question: should I get pizza?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 18:15, 71 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Alright?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 16:25, 192 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Congratulations to Legless.
He's achieved what myself, Chompy, Gonz, Baldmonkey or JMG couldn't and united QOTW and /talk.

www.b3ta.com/questions/racistgrandparents/post1407042

Cheers.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 13:59, 307 replies, latest was 14 years ago)