Ok, I need £5 secret santa ideas, not including any kind of delivery, but prefably from a company where if they do chrage delivery, they'll do other stuff I want.
The rigged Secret Santa at work turned up trumps this year, it's for my smoking buddy. It's a girl (with long term boyfriend), She likes good food but rarely has many kind of what I'd call luxories. I don't mind spending a little bit over the limit for the prize as she's pretty safe. Prefably from www.firebox.com or www.play.com .
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 18:37, 77 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Did I break b3ta? Sorry.
Here's a shiny new thread. Do with it what you will.

And happy candle day Blousie, as I didn't say it before.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 15:42, 231 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

It's my candleday today.
Five years I've been on this little corner of the internet. I think David sums up my time here best.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=louXPUW7tHU

Alt: what tune sums up your time on B3ta?
( girlinthehole, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 12:35, 264 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Christmas.
Fuck, I'm in the enviable position of having an actual employer, as well as being self employed, for the first time in years. Just got emailed re our Crimbo meal, the company will put a fiver per head to the cost of it. A whole fucking fiver. We've a fucking secret Santa. of £2.00 per head; I'm thinking of pissing in a fucking bottle.
Tell me about your shitty work Crimbo celebrations, so I don't have to think I'm the only miserable twat.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 30 Nov 2011, 10:51, 180 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Good morning. I hope you are all well today.
Why do I find camp men so dislikable?
It isn't a homophobia thing. For example, there are three pooves in my office. Two of them I consider good mates. The third one is camp and I want to stamp on his face until his eyes explode.
Also, I'm finding it difficult to define campness in my head. I can recognise it, but I'm not sure how. Is it possible for a woman to be camp? While the idea seems plausible, I'm finding it difficult to visualise.
There. That's my attempt at conversation. The end.
(The Personality Horse www.tinyurl.com/perhor, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 9:28, 167 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Morning all
I do so love working until 10.30pm Friday - Tuesday then waking up at 5am. What is the best/worst thing about this week? I'm loving the "strike" today meaning I will be performing sunshine bus duties for 2 of our team

Alt:
Is it wrong to modify a Pot Noodle into a Bot Poodle for my secret Santa gift?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 30 Nov 2011, 6:39, 177 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Anyone around?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 23:58, 15 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Alright otters?
TD is deep in a pustulous quendering well of misery.

I have a contract to sign, a glass of wine and some vintage hip hop from before '99.

Word.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 21:40, 112 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Bad news all O/T people
Been to the consultants today and my death isn't imminent. I have to lose a pint of blood every four weeks for the rest of my life, but I'll still be at large.

Your medical issues are...?

Edit - please accept that my problems are fuck all compared to some.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 19:04, 255 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Yeah, I dunno, I just feel like punching someone right in the tits sometimes.
You've got three free punches-in-the-tits. Who do you use them on?
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 29 Nov 2011, 17:00, 175 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I was recently surprised by Katie Brand being clever and insightful on a science related podcast

What surprised you most recently?

Alt apparently she also had an idea for a series of sketches about The Imam of Dibley, which I wish had made it to air.WHat do you wish had been broadcast rather than the dross that turns up on TV these days?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Tue 29 Nov 2011, 14:46, 217 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

New thread ffs.
I'm interested in what makes my fellow B3tans tick.

Go on, share. What is your raison d'etre?

Oh man, threadstomped twice : (

But luckily threadstomped by gentlemen.

Alt: what's pissed you off about yoghurt today?
( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 12:53, 219 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Yesterday
I was full of the joys of spring, today I can't be arsed. So have you started your Christmas shopping yet?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 7:53, 157 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Quentin has killed OT :(

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 21:21, 187 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

squawk squawk SQUAWK!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=kEZJXI-IQS4&feature=related

squawk: squawk squawk cuttlefish bone cuttlefish bone squawk.
(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 18:49, 70 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

New thread to try and keep things moving
best present that you ever got for Christmas?

alt: best month of the year and why?

altalt: who will be the resident cumudgenly old nazi now monty is dead?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 14:10, 159 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

i just had a slagging match in the street....
The father of the guy i was buying a flat from just just started shouting at me "Your mum's a bitch, you don't do that to friends, tell your mum she's a bitch" and all that. So I said "Can I have my say?" and he goes "Go on, it'll be in one ear and out the other though" so I say "Well, that says it all really, if you're not going to hear our side, how there was a good £15k worth of debt and dryrot not mentioned ONCE, then that says it all. You would have backed out too" he goes "I don't want to hear that, my daughter is in the shit" so I said "Thats what happens when you lie in negoiations." "So what about brighton?" "Total irelivency, I've just exchanged similar money in a similar part of London" "You're twisting this" "No, I'm saying my side" (shouting)"Tell your mum's a bitch, she's a fucking bitch", "C U N T... M U G. That's you.... Sue us if we're so wrong, see if you got a leg to stand on morely or legally". and then I walked away.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 11:54, 214 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

They don't know what they're doing.
I've already mentioned that at an appointment last week I was told I "had" to do voluntary work to continue receiving JSA. So I thought I'd better do a bit of research to see what exactly I could and couldn't do so as not to fall foul of the regulations.

According to the DirectGov website, the voluntary work aspect is entirely that; voluntary, and not a mandatory requirement at all, the fucking dozy muppets.

When have you been told something by an official only to find out that they're talking out of their arse?

Alt: Where's Monty?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 28 Nov 2011, 11:34, 127 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Happy Mondays
I've got a real spring in my step this morning. How the devil are you?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 8:36, 187 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

TD is too slow.
New thread, right here.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 27 Nov 2011, 21:42, 203 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I'm gonna mark the end of the weekend by cooking me a juicy steak.
How was your weekend?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 27 Nov 2011, 19:20, 199 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Mornin'.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 27 Nov 2011, 9:46, 88 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Describe your last pooh using only film titles.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 26 Nov 2011, 21:41, 53 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

hey guess what
you dance if you want to!
( Lisette von Falcon, Sat 26 Nov 2011, 16:51, 185 replies, latest was 14 years ago)