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Do you usually wait till the weekend for a takeaway?
I fancied an Indian but it's shut on tuesdays.
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 4 May 2021, 18:06, archived)

That's odd, it's usually the chineeee that's shut on a weekday.
My Indians are all 7 days here.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 4 May 2021, 18:14, archived)

I think 6 days a week for small restaurants is more than enough work

(

mongychops, Tue 4 May 2021, 20:14, archived)

I don't buy takeaways
I much prefer to cook and most takeaways involve things I can't eat
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 4 May 2021, 18:52, archived)

No. I get food delivered when ever I want.

(

mongychops, Tue 4 May 2021, 20:13, archived)

Weekends are the time for long, slow cooks for me
I did a smoked brisket on Saturday which took 16hrs, ended up being Sunday lunch despite getting up at half five to get the fire on. Much more likely to get a takeaway after a bad day at work
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 May 2021, 20:14, archived)

shut up, wanker

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 May 2021, 22:21, archived)

There’s just the one Indian then?

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 4 May 2021, 20:50, archived)

Inb4 brb

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 4 May 2021, 20:55, archived)

Aishwarya Rai is fairly fit, was it her?

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 4 May 2021, 21:03, archived)

she punched me

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 4 May 2021, 21:09, archived)

the home secretary, then

(dribble, Tue 4 May 2021, 21:17, archived)

Did she really, though?

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 4 May 2021, 22:15, archived)

yup
punched me in the back when i accidentally blocked her eyeline
(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Tue 4 May 2021, 23:07, archived)

Not hard enough, evidently.

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 5 May 2021, 1:52, archived)

how can she slap?

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 4 May 2021, 22:30, archived)

fooOoOOoooooood

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 4 May 2021, 21:30, archived)

WANK OFF A WOOKIEE

(sticklebricks, Tue 4 May 2021, 17:39, archived)

say please

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 May 2021, 17:55, archived)

Does it pay more than minimum wage?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 4 May 2021, 17:58, archived)

I’d rather not tbh

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 4 May 2021, 17:58, archived)

Today is the fourth of the fifth
and the fourth and fifth episodes were the only ones worth watching. Coincidence??

WAKE UP GREEPLE
(dribble, Tue 4 May 2021, 18:00, archived)

4th and 5th episodes of what?? Dangermouse?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 4 May 2021, 18:04, archived)

4th?
as in: "May the Fourth Be With You"? I'm finished now, I hope you all had a nerdy fuckin' day. See you next year!
(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 4 May 2021, 18:07, archived)

The search for kirk, and that one where uhu gets stuck in the lift on the way to the bridge

(dribble, Tue 4 May 2021, 18:10, archived)

I saw those, including the bloopers.

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Tue 4 May 2021, 18:13, archived)

Star Trek outtakes, Spock says “That’s totally logical,” instead of “illogical” and Chekhov does a face

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 4 May 2021, 20:54, archived)

[Janice enters]
'Play it nice and cool Bones, know what I mean?'
slips off handrail, falls onto self destruct button
thousands die a fiery death
laugh track
(dribble, Tue 4 May 2021, 21:04, archived)

Then Chekhov does another face

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 4 May 2021, 22:04, archived)

Now I know you're lying.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 4 May 2021, 22:19, archived)

It’s a flashback

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 5 May 2021, 1:54, archived)

That’s an odd thing to say

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 4 May 2021, 20:51, archived)

Good afternoon, dickhead's

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 May 2021, 12:35, archived)

MTFBWY!
afternoon
(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 4 May 2021, 12:37, archived)

Admiral u Akhbar m8

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 May 2021, 12:47, archived)

Haram solo

(dribble, Tue 4 May 2021, 12:51, archived)

Jabba the Hajj

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 May 2021, 13:06, archived)

Chewbaklava

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 4 May 2021, 13:08, archived)

Return of the Jihadi

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 4 May 2021, 13:09, archived)

Princess Leila

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 4 May 2021, 13:18, archived)

Grand Mufti Tarkin

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 4 May 2021, 13:18, archived)

Houthi
(the ice planet) okokok, I'll stop
(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 4 May 2021, 13:19, archived)

That one make sense, though,
since Luke is pretty much radicalized by the murder of his family by a brutal imperialist power and joins a fanatical, warlike religion in order to seek revenge through acts of terror.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 4 May 2021, 13:26, archived)

please stop blowing the internet's mind

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 4 May 2021, 13:27, archived)

~~mind~~ knob
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 May 2021, 13:29, archived)

The western world is the empire

(dribble, Tue 4 May 2021, 13:34, archived)

Lando Calrissian is Barack Obama

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 4 May 2021, 13:35, archived)

and trigger bought him a cornetto

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 4 May 2021, 13:36, archived)

Infidel Boy falls through the bar

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 4 May 2021, 13:50, archived)

ak+

(dribble, Tue 4 May 2021, 14:41, archived)

Obi-WANK Kenobi!!!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 4 May 2021, 13:19, archived)

alright you massive spazzer

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 4 May 2021, 13:17, archived)

y

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 May 2021, 13:29, archived)

some London wankers are viewing my house, might put the asking price up by 50K

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 4 May 2021, 13:33, archived)

they'll save that on pints in no time

(dribble, Tue 4 May 2021, 13:35, archived)

I know, just think of the savings!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 4 May 2021, 13:36, archived)

best hide the supernoodles

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 May 2021, 13:41, archived)

stashed 'em with the Mars bars

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 4 May 2021, 13:43, archived)

Dozer Towers

(dribble, Tue 4 May 2021, 14:43, archived)

Come for the Mars Bars, leave.

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 4 May 2021, 15:51, archived)

I don't feel well.

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 4 May 2021, 14:53, archived)

Too many shandy?

(dribble, Tue 4 May 2021, 15:10, archived)

I think I need another nap

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 4 May 2021, 15:20, archived)

Get back on it you lightweight

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 4 May 2021, 16:02, archived)

The bed, you mean

(dribble, Tue 4 May 2021, 16:58, archived)

good afternoon
I seem to have missed all the Star Wars chat
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 4 May 2021, 17:12, archived)

ah well

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 May 2021, 17:19, archived)

tomorrow's the revenge of the fifth

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 4 May 2021, 17:23, archived)

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 4 May 2021, 17:29, archived)

hey, I don't make these things up

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 4 May 2021, 17:32, archived)

May the 4th Be With You!
morning
(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 4 May 2021, 7:34, archived)

Smeggy morning

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 4 May 2021, 7:46, archived)

Haha, live long and carry on!
You know, like on those mugs/cushions/fridge magnets/posters/every-fucking-thing
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 May 2021, 7:56, archived)

Love, Laugh, Live Long And Prosper

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 4 May 2021, 12:17, archived)

ok yeah this is a lot better than my effort

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 May 2021, 12:48, archived)

Independence GAY, I call it

(dribble, Tue 4 May 2021, 8:00, archived)

Might rim a romulan

(

Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 4 May 2021, 8:16, archived)

might bugger a Bothan

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 May 2021, 8:20, archived)

might grope a Gelf

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 4 May 2021, 8:22, archived)

might mangle a Muppet

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 4 May 2021, 8:33, archived)

might frell a ferengi

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 4 May 2021, 9:56, archived)

Might bugger a borg

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 4 May 2021, 10:07, archived)

mcbeefy

(dribble, Tue 4 May 2021, 9:44, archived)

yo

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 May 2021, 10:20, archived)

use the Force, Kirk

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 4 May 2021, 8:59, archived)

Luke, I am your farter
ppft pffft pppfffftttttt
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 4 May 2021, 9:12, archived)

FUCK YEAH MAY 4TH WOOHOO
morning
(

broadsword, Tue 4 May 2021, 9:24, archived)

Morning
Today I am mostly wrapping things in seaweed, which is fucking easy. But if the bitch next to me yanks the tray off me one more time, I'm gonna smack her with it.
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 4 May 2021, 10:09, archived)

Smack her now, pre-emptively

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 4 May 2021, 12:26, archived)

I have a hangover

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 4 May 2021, 10:13, archived)

I have defied science and medicine by not having one, it's a miracle
4-hour, 5 course boozy Italian lunch followed by several limoncellos - I should be on my arse today
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 May 2021, 10:22, archived)

I remember an add many years ago that read:
I hate hangovers

especially over waistlines
(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 4 May 2021, 10:23, archived)

The fatback band, member?

(dribble, Tue 4 May 2021, 10:47, archived)

is this the future?

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 4 May 2021, 10:59, archived)

I managed to acquire a 45 of Fatbackin' recently, what a tune
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERBH9OghL9k

Amazing break at 1:48
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 May 2021, 11:00, archived)

Oh hadn't heard that one before, cheer's

(dribble, Tue 4 May 2021, 11:13, archived)

welcs, bro

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 May 2021, 11:33, archived)

I've got a fat back... It's fairly well concealed in casual clothing but you don't want to see me in my underpants.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 4 May 2021, 11:11, archived)

#fatsack

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 4 May 2021, 11:57, archived)

Yeah I had many al fresco pints yesterday, went home, got a text asking to pay my tab, walked back up and had some more

(

mongychops, Tue 4 May 2021, 10:59, archived)

that's what bank holidays are all about, shame the weather was shit

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 May 2021, 11:04, archived)

Yeah, doesn't look good all week. My daughter took a different place in the end, more a bar nightclub that I've never been in , so no danger

(

mongychops, Tue 4 May 2021, 11:11, archived)

So melinda finally found out billy's microchip master plan and said she won't out him but can't be a part of it
expect her to have an 'accident' shortly
(dribble, Tue 4 May 2021, 10:58, archived)

Is this the ending to that line of duty thing that everyone’s talking about?

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 4 May 2021, 11:00, archived)

Chris barrie put the H on his forehead then told nick frost that he was his dad!
and trigger bought him a cornetto
(dribble, Tue 4 May 2021, 11:08, archived)

That’s BAFTA sorted

(

Cheers Cheers, Tue 4 May 2021, 11:10, archived)

50p plot twist

(dribble, Tue 4 May 2021, 11:14, archived)

drimblebly to be outed as an abusive bullying sex pest in 5... 4... 3...

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 4 May 2021, 12:08, archived)

I am jimmy beck ama

(dribble, Tue 4 May 2021, 12:13, archived)

So say we all.
Fucking hell I feel like shit.
(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 4 May 2021, 13:46, archived)

I just got injected with A-Z super-serum. I am now 70% invulnerable.
Are any of you criminals? I will fight you.
(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 3 May 2021, 19:48, archived)

You got injected with monkeyspunk DNA and now you've got the lurgee

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 May 2021, 20:08, archived)

also, cannot reprocreate, wank, I mean, anymore, sowwy

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 3 May 2021, 20:39, archived)

The slightest seepage of his infected semen could potentially result in Terrible Monkeys. And it’s not me saying that, it’s a doctor probably, I dunno.

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 May 2021, 22:12, archived)

I removed the tags from my matresses
Come at me
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 May 2021, 20:44, archived)

god damn it!

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 3 May 2021, 20:46, archived)

*puts bucket on head*
and did those feet in ancient times walked across England's mountains green and was the holy Lamb of God on England's pleasant pastures seen
(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 3 May 2021, 20:48, archived)

Now, I am the god!
(of soft furnishings)
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 May 2021, 20:58, archived)

Though I'm nigh invulnerable,
my left arm is now nigh immobile. I'm going to have to reschedule my superhero origin story. I plan to get solidly stoned and paracetamoled for the next 2 days.
(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 3 May 2021, 22:07, archived)

Those are for your own safety and your mattresses will probably catch fire without them, just saying

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 May 2021, 22:07, archived)

They're basically pins for the grenade that is your mattress.
Pretty sure there's a chapter on it in the Anarchist's Cookbook.
(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 3 May 2021, 22:09, archived)

There should be, I know that.

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 May 2021, 22:14, archived)

Actually can I just check, this wasn’t an inaccurate autocorrection of “mistresses” was it?

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 May 2021, 22:08, archived)

But on a srs note, why 70%? And what does it rise to after the second jab?

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 May 2021, 22:16, archived)

Only 3 out of the 10 carriers that subsequently breathe on you will succeed in making you ill
and across the UK everyone will be breathing on everyone in a few weeks time
(dribble, Mon 3 May 2021, 23:04, archived)

I wonder what percentage have declined an offered vaccine, I know of three people personally
Who fancies a bit of doorstep coughing all over a local authority worker?
(dribble, Mon 3 May 2021, 23:40, archived)

Happy wet bank holiday

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 May 2021, 11:44, archived)

You can always rely on it to rain on a bank holiday

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 3 May 2021, 11:45, archived)

My own fault for moiving back to northern England

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 May 2021, 11:49, archived)

I've just had a wet cat run across my bare legs
It was not pleasant
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 3 May 2021, 11:59, archived)

are wet pussies part of your job?

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 3 May 2021, 12:22, archived)

No, it's my day off

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Mon 3 May 2021, 12:49, archived)

How wet are we talking?

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 May 2021, 13:25, archived)

her paws were very wet
she was a bit drier, as she had just shaken all the rain off her fur and onto my bed
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 3 May 2021, 14:30, archived)

muddy paw prints on everything now?

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 May 2021, 14:32, archived)

not any more
bedding is already in the washing machine
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 3 May 2021, 14:39, archived)

cat smug?

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 May 2021, 15:17, archived)

very much so

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 3 May 2021, 15:18, archived)

is she curled up somewhere warm now?

(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 May 2021, 15:29, archived)

always borderline nsfw on /talk

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 3 May 2021, 15:43, archived)

I like to think of it as 'where every posts a shitpost'
you can hum it along to the cheers theme
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 May 2021, 15:51, archived)

Cheers

(dribble, Mon 3 May 2021, 16:12, archived)

Sorry that’s copyrighted

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 3 May 2021, 17:16, archived)

Copyrighted

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 May 2021, 22:57, archived)

I assume so
i'm at my parents' house, as my washing machine is broken
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 3 May 2021, 15:46, archived)

Amendment 2.b

(dribble, Mon 3 May 2021, 12:57, archived)

~~et b~~
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 3 May 2021, 14:15, archived)

Hope everyone’s enjoying their outdoor pub lunches

(

Cheers Cheers, Mon 3 May 2021, 14:47, archived)

youtu.be/J-fXTRHApRc
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 2 May 2021, 23:32, archived)

imagine getting rich from a silly video you once made.
morning
(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 3 May 2021, 8:09, archived)

Ok that amused me
Morning
(

broadsword, Mon 3 May 2021, 8:15, archived)

twitter.com/tyomateee/status/1388856169809125391
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 3 May 2021, 9:42, archived)

Unagi.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Mon 3 May 2021, 9:52, archived)

shredder's brother

(dribble, Mon 3 May 2021, 10:51, archived)

This ammused me
Personally, getting rich from a silly video wouldn't bother me that much.
(

willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 May 2021, 11:43, archived)

Final Line Of Duty tonight, are you excited?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 2 May 2021, 16:47, archived)

outside enjoying your bank holiday eh?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 2 May 2021, 17:06, archived)

pub wankers

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 2 May 2021, 17:07, archived)

I reckon they're all dead, and have been all along.
Never watched an episode, soz.
(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 2 May 2021, 17:21, archived)

wot u upto then?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 2 May 2021, 17:25, archived)

I had a long shower and scrubbed my feet.
Might take the dremel to them tomorrow.
(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 2 May 2021, 22:19, archived)

stumpy mcstumplegs

(dribble, Sun 2 May 2021, 22:52, archived)

I'm only talking exfoliation. not surgery.
I'm talking about one of these: www.dremel.com.sg/sg/pmdbmedia/d/obj/97016/lobtype/LORES_PNG_RGB/800x415@0/png800x415.png

With that specific attachment.

Sure you could pay to go to a pedicurist and they would use a different brand of abrasive spinning thing that's probably white coloured to make you think it's not just a powertool. Or for the same money you could buy a dremel and feel like a real man.
(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 3 May 2021, 14:18, archived)

not particularly

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 2 May 2021, 17:22, archived)

Doing anything interesting?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 2 May 2021, 17:26, archived)

mostly resting
knee is in agony, not helped by the fact that i whacked it while sleepwalking last night. had to take the day off work today, so that's just over £100 down the drain. damn thing better recover by tuesday.
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 2 May 2021, 18:08, archived)

I had two wanks yesterday and I'm not taking a day off.

(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Mon 3 May 2021, 14:19, archived)

do people still watch tv?

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Sun 2 May 2021, 17:23, archived)

Occasionally*

*18 hours a day
(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sun 2 May 2021, 17:27, archived)

are you bedridden?

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Sun 2 May 2021, 19:16, archived)

ed o ~~dde~~ +g
(

broadsword, Mon 3 May 2021, 9:08, archived)

I dont know what Final Line Of Duty is, soz

(

mongychops, Sun 2 May 2021, 17:40, archived)

MW4 confirmed

(dribble, Sun 2 May 2021, 18:00, archived)

I hope it's better than Half-Life 3.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 2 May 2021, 21:49, archived)

I don’t even own a Line of Duty

(

Cheers Cheers, Sun 2 May 2021, 18:13, archived)

The butler did it.

(

djrich - Live from Houghton Regis too rass, Sun 2 May 2021, 18:26, archived)

Batman will be furious

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 2 May 2021, 20:23, archived)

Classic planearm

(

broadsword, Mon 3 May 2021, 8:10, archived)

Morning.
Alt.: favourite hypothetical particle? Gotta be magnetic monopoles for me.
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 2 May 2021, 9:16, archived)

Morning
Can't beat a dyon
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sun 2 May 2021, 9:58, archived)

Ooh, kinky.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 2 May 2021, 10:22, archived)

Pwopa nawty

(dribble, Sun 2 May 2021, 10:24, archived)

The only particle to survive in a vacuum

(

Cheers Cheers, Sun 2 May 2021, 14:36, archived)

silly person

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 2 May 2021, 15:22, archived)

I tried that but then decided to get rich instead

(dribble, Sun 2 May 2021, 15:33, archived)

how's that working out for you?

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 2 May 2021, 16:20, archived)

It's still a work in progress
ask again in about 60 years
(dribble, Sun 2 May 2021, 16:33, archived)

not specific enough, soz. go back to Your Anus, micro black hole, I mean

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 2 May 2021, 10:14, archived)

it’s my birthday tomorrow so I’m taking the day off :)

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Sun 2 May 2021, 11:15, archived)

alright sandi

(dribble, Sun 2 May 2021, 11:27, archived)

*weapons grade lesbian waving*

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Sun 2 May 2021, 13:51, archived)

alright christina hendricks

(

broadsword, Sun 2 May 2021, 13:46, archived)

depends where you look, but her birthday is also reported as being on the 4th

(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Sun 2 May 2021, 13:49, archived)

nah they've got that wrong, that's my brothers birthday, pretty sure he's not christina hendricks

(

broadsword, Sun 2 May 2021, 13:51, archived)

well, I'm ginger and I've got big tits
so I might be her
(inflation vore mpreg yaoi yuri bara, Sun 2 May 2021, 15:31, archived)

RIP your inbox

(dribble, Sun 2 May 2021, 18:16, archived)

Phwoar, eh, lads? Phwoar! Lads? Phwoar or what? Eh lads?
(etc.)
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 2 May 2021, 14:06, archived)

I'm ALL about the weakly interacting massive particles

(

broadsword, Sun 2 May 2021, 13:48, archived)

b3ta, i mean

(

broadsword, Sun 2 May 2021, 13:48, archived)

Bags of personality

(dribble, Sun 2 May 2021, 13:58, archived)

Do quasiparticles count? If so, the phonon.

(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 2 May 2021, 14:20, archived)

do quasiparticles count? have you fucking listened to yourself?
it's full-on proper particles or nothing, sunshine
(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 2 May 2021, 15:24, archived)

Cor you want a dry slap don't you? All our so-called particles could be considered quasi from a hyperdimensional perspective, muppet baby.

(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 2 May 2021, 17:18, archived)

not fucking scooter

(

Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 2 May 2021, 17:22, archived)

*sarcastically awards Nobel Prize in physics*

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 2 May 2021, 18:42, archived)

From a hyperdimensional perspective, there are by definition infinite hypothetical particles, you simpering slippery-gooched twat

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 2 May 2021, 20:50, archived)

That's not how infinity works at all, you towering melt.

(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 2 May 2021, 22:20, archived)

No need to be rude :(

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 2 May 2021, 23:08, archived)

No, obviously they don't.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 2 May 2021, 18:41, archived)

Oh.
Well then, the tachyon, obviously.
(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 2 May 2021, 22:31, archived)

wino

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 2 May 2021, 20:47, archived)

Solid choice there.
/ac
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 2 May 2021, 21:43, archived)

www.instagram.com/reel/CNryMV-D0nc/?igshid=q5rv3evwnhgs
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sat 1 May 2021, 23:05, archived)

I'm not convinced

(dribble, Sat 1 May 2021, 23:07, archived)

But it's so beautiful.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 2 May 2021, 0:19, archived)

it really is

(

mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 2 May 2021, 2:56, archived)

ugh
just woke up and it feels "early" despite being 6pm.

Can whoever stole 12 hours from me please return it?
(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 2 May 2021, 6:39, archived)

oh wait it is 6am and I'm just stupid rather than senile

(

Slippery Mick ‏, Sun 2 May 2021, 7:06, archived)

morning
I'm having the best weekend ever, get in
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 1 May 2021, 9:52, archived)

morning
bacon AND sausages?
(

broadsword, Sat 1 May 2021, 10:00, archived)

Morning
Work is, so far, much less stressful than I thought it would be today
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 1 May 2021, 11:04, archived)

Good toimes

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 1 May 2021, 12:18, archived)

Don't worry, plenty of time for it to go horribly tits up yet.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 1 May 2021, 12:19, archived)

Oh I know

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Sat 1 May 2021, 13:36, archived)

Hello noobs!
It's me, The Old Man. What's happenin' my g? I'm still cool yo.
(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 17:36, archived)

you sure are, Spongedave Squaretrousers

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 17:48, archived)

Do you have a moment to discuss Our Lord and Saviour, BTC?

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 17:52, archived)

only if you accept Venezuelan Bolívars

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 17:57, archived)

Well golly gee mister, I do!

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 17:58, archived)

how much for one crucifixion?

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 18:02, archived)

75

(

Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 18:45, archived)

if 75% agree, how can I not?

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 18:48, archived)

Staying relevant

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 20:07, archived)

Cheers

(

Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 20:22, archived)

How are your cysts? Gone or dunno

(

mongychops, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 20:31, archived)

Long weekend lolz thread
Anyone seen Godzilla vs Kong? Might give that a crack 2moz once I've finished smoking a brisket with my kid. I really enjoyed the most recent Godzilla, best one since the Japanese originals by far, I thought. But perhaps I'm just a colossal nerd prick who should be put down as a service to humanity?

Other than that, might shart on a shih tzu, not much else planned.
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 10:56, archived)

What's a shih tzu?

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 10:58, archived)

A park containing cages of unremarkable animals

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 10:59, archived)

...but that's not important right now

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 11:00, archived)

You ruined my terrible joke

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 11:04, archived)

Sorry about that.
Feel free to pretend I'm not here, and go ahead anyway.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 11:06, archived)

Long wooden planters arrived yesterday,
bamboo plants arrive today, off to get loads of soil/compost and will spend tomorrow putting them all together.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 10:59, archived)

you'll be swinging like a jungle VIP before you know it m8
best get an extra big bowl for all those car keys
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 11:01, archived)

me, next week
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 11:03, archived)

That's something my cat would do
She launched herself off a cupboard and onto my head the other night
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 11:08, archived)

That's doing the cable a world of good

(dribble, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 11:14, archived)

God, cats are such dickheads.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 30 Apr 2021, 11:44, archived)

Against my personal rule I'm working tomorrow, emergency job . After that I will get drunk till Tuesday

(

mongychops, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 11:03, archived)

I'm in tomorrow and Sunday
I must be mad, weekends there are frantic, never enough staff, even with a £20 a day bonus as incentive
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 11:06, archived)

I only plan on doing 2hrs

(

mongychops, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 11:09, archived)

I wish
It'll be the full 12 hours, both days
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 11:23, archived)

My 16 yr old son asked his mum if he could 'get smashed in his room' this weekend, so polite

(

mongychops, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 11:07, archived)

what a well bought up young man, you must be very proud

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 11:34, archived)

His mum said no, go out and get smashed , not sitting indoors

(

mongychops, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 11:41, archived)

Proper parenting, there.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 30 Apr 2021, 11:45, archived)

that's right, get some fresh air, hang around a park, that's what we had to do
maybe Windy will be there, have a kickabout
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 12:01, archived)

Indeed , not sure the first time getting drunk with your mates should be online

(

mongychops, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 12:05, archived)

No, while you're living under this roof you will eat your processed potato at the dining table with the rest of the family

(dribble, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 11:53, archived)

Terrible bullying of birthday boy Anthonyb3ta70100
b3ta.com/board/11342628
(

Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 11:48, archived)

They're so abusive on /board, it's great that /talk is here as a refuge from all that hostility.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 11:49, archived)

It’s well known how much we do have a right laugh here

(

Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 11:51, archived)

/talk?

*checks profile, sees pages of laughing emojis*

/talk.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 12:00, archived)

Talk is B3TA's Stormfront I'll have you know.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Fri 30 Apr 2021, 20:19, archived)

What ipad should I get

(dribble, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 21:01, archived)

MODS111111!!!!!!! BAN HIM NOW

(

mongychops, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 12:10, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 30 Apr 2021, 11:54, archived)

sympathy reply

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 30 Apr 2021, 12:59, archived)

might crap on a carp

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 12:10, archived)

:'(

(

mongychops, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 12:12, archived)

Don't waste your waste
It'll just wash off
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 15:44, archived)

All the shingle ladies (all the shingle ladies) wo ohhh woah oahhh ohhh
morning
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 7:52, archived)

alright Sean, thought you were dead
morning
(

Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 7:58, archived)

Morning

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 8:01, archived)

morning

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 8:11, archived)

I dreamt that I still hadn't finished my degree, and that for some reason I was in a maths class in Winchester College as part of it
Billy Nighy was the teacher, and he announced Boris Johnson had resigned at the start of the class. I had no paper or pens and didn't understand the lesson.

How about THAT?
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 8:13, archived)

What that means is that I fancy my mum and want to kill my dad.
The clues are all there
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 8:14, archived)

+i

(

Cheers Cheers, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 8:16, archived)

this took me far too long
(as I didn't say to your nan last night)
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 8:24, archived)

I read that thing about BoJo's phone number on Pop Bitch yesterday
he really is thick as pig shit isn't he?
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 8:34, archived)

it would seem so eh

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 9:38, archived)

shurely shome mishtake
morning
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 8:17, archived)

It's no mishtake
and don't call me Shirley.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 8:34, archived)

heh
is this some kind of bust?
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 8:35, archived)

Hi, my baby girl got her first job , so proud, 18 and pulling pints

(

mongychops, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 8:59, archived)

I totally read that as jab and wondered what the connection was
excellent. You must never go drinking in that pub ever.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 9:05, archived)

don't listen to gary
go there tonight, get off your fucking nut and get thrown out for doing sniff off the table - it's called 'tough love', she'll thank you in the long run.

you're welcome
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 9:37, archived)

if I worked in a pub and my dad came in, I'd card him for a laugh

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 9:39, archived)

when I last visited my dad in the US, we went for a pint at the airport
They ID'd us - combined age of 110+

stupid pricks
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 9:42, archived)

'murica!

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 9:52, archived)

I loved it when my dad worked in the pub
I used to go in when I was skint and get free drinks
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 10:13, archived)

Lol theft

(dribble, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 15:07, archived)

mine's coming to stay for the weekend for the first time in 7 months (unless she cancels last minute)
super excited - but rather embarrassingly my wife's best mate has just sent us a restaurant box from a fancy Italian place in Covent Garden so when I get back from collecting jr later she's going to have to watch us eat a 4 course dinner for two inc candles and champagne, having just eaten some fucking slop at her mum's
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 9:40, archived)

You're going to eat candles?
very Heston Blumenthal.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 9:42, archived)

yes gary.
we're going to eat candles.
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 9:43, archived)

four of them? Like in the 2ronnies sketch that was almost as funny as only fools and horses when trigger pulled a face?

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 10:00, archived)

Nice

(

mongychops, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 9:44, archived)

Treat yourself with some lovely wool socks made in Britain by Hebtroco DEAR GOD LOOK AT THE STATE OF THAT CUNT'S LEGS
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 10:00, archived)

It's like he'd fallen asleep and his 3 year old daughter had cut loose with a sharpie

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 10:02, archived)

Good morning!
Nice day of relaxation, followed with some retail therapy, then off to give dad his birthday present
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 10:15, archived)

Oooh what did you get him? Or haven't you bought it yet?

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 10:24, archived)

Not bought it yet
He's a bugger to buy for, if I ask him what he wants, he just says anything
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 10:29, archived)

Lego it is then

(dribble, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 13:46, archived)

SWEATY GOOCH

(sticklebricks, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 19:06, archived)

No thanks, I’m trying to cut down

(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 19:23, archived)

A shower and a change of underwear might help.

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 19:27, archived)

Wank poo
Wank poo

Back to basics
(

Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 19:29, archived)

IN the thread motherfucks

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 19:34, archived)

IT’S ABOUT TIME, BIATCH

(sticklebricks, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 20:01, archived)

JUST DOIN THE DOOCH

(dribble, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 20:02, archived)

actual lol

(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 20:19, archived)

^

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 20:46, archived)

be fair, he's been at the crease all day

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 20:24, archived)

I like this

(dribble, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 21:01, archived)

^

(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 21:06, archived)

Really?
I'll turn the heating off, then
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 20:45, archived)

Great thread guys, I’m off to talc my taint

(sticklebricks, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 21:07, archived)

Cheers

(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 21:21, archived)

brb really is a fucken prick, isn't he?
Say what you *really* think of the slashtalk anti-racism activist in this thread, which he can't see (haha just like Stevie Wonder!!!!!).
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 29 Apr 2021, 14:58, archived)

Never bothered me , I tend to feel sorry for people with a mental handicap even if that means they are unlikable

(

mongychops, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 15:01, archived)

you mean me, don't you?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 29 Apr 2021, 15:06, archived)

God no, I hate you and wish you were dead

(

mongychops, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 15:59, archived)

big shout out to my popular page homies!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 29 Apr 2021, 16:10, archived)

Just about to get a pint in my local, huzzah

(

mongychops, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 16:15, archived)

not long till you can go back inside!

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 16:32, archived)

I'm largely with mongy on this, sometimes he's fine but when he's not he's more of a low-level irritant than actively annoying.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 15:12, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8300666
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 15:13, archived)

I like him, at least he doesn't start crisps threads

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 15:21, archived)

true

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 29 Apr 2021, 15:25, archived)

What's wrong with crisps threads?

(

Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 16:32, archived)

2D platformers about crisps, anyone?
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pushover_(video_game)
(dribble, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 16:46, archived)

not for me thanks

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 16:49, archived)

he's the bloke in the office who never gets invited down the pub because he's always so dreary and serious about everything

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 16:02, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8300666
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 29 Apr 2021, 16:09, archived)

I suspect him of being the kind of rabid ideologue who would approve of someone's life being ruined for having the wrong opinion or telling a racist/sexist/whateverist joke. Thay being said there's a lot of it about these days. I'm sure he'd be alright if he'd stop taking all that shit so seriously.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Thu 29 Apr 2021, 17:49, archived)

still unsure if trolling

(dribble, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 17:54, archived)

I like Stevie Wonder

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 18:14, archived)

I wonder if Stevie Nicks wonders about Stevie Wonder, wouldn’t that be wonderful

(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 18:23, archived)

I think I might be eating too many plums.

(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 14:11, archived)

another poo-related thread

(

Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 14:18, archived)

Well everything is with that attitude.

(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 17:47, archived)

Plums are disappointing
They look nice and fruity and a little bit sharp, but then you bite into them and they're just overly sweet watery nothing
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 14:27, archived)

I ate some plums earlier and they were well yum.

(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 29 Apr 2021, 16:29, archived)

They must be in season because they are, as you say, well yum at the moment.
A few weeks ago I might have agreed with Smash Monkey 2. But not today.
(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 17:51, archived)

#PlumChat

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 14:32, archived)

Oh hang on, I just thought of a really good plum joke:

I am LEAD to believe that eating too many plums gives you PLUM BUM!!!

I'd better post this on qotw before it goes 'viral'.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 15:08, archived)

Haha, I think this joke my personal best - or "Pb", as I like to abbreviate it!!!!!!!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 15:14, archived)

I can't compete with jokes of that quality,
but I guess I'll solder on anyway!!!
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 29 Apr 2021, 16:31, archived)

Great stuff guys.

(

brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 17:45, archived)

favourite flavour of Nik Naks?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 29 Apr 2021, 13:02, archived)

Rib n' saucy

(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 13:04, archived)

good choice

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 29 Apr 2021, 13:04, archived)

Nice'n'spicy

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 13:29, archived)

oh how awful

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 29 Apr 2021, 13:32, archived)

I try not to eat those kinds of snack though
the grease and orange residue on my fingers makes me think of Donald Trump...
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 13:43, archived)

Herve Villechaize

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 13:35, archived)

haha good joke m8!!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 29 Apr 2021, 13:42, archived)

Unwashed fanny

(

Richard Shitheels, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 13:43, archived)

Scampi Fries, surely?

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 13:43, archived)

Yes
You understand my joke
(

Richard Shitheels, Fri 30 Apr 2021, 9:57, archived)

#InFest

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 29 Apr 2021, 13:46, archived)

Bill Plympton

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 13:50, archived)

I don't recall ever eating a Nik Nak in my life.
They just don't look the least bit appetising.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 14:10, archived)

They do look like something grown on a petri dish
instead of injection molding or whatever it is that gets pringles etc all exactly the same size and shape
(dribble, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 14:50, archived)

morning

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 8:02, archived)

Morning indeed . I'm going to go look at some vans today

(

mongychops, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 8:06, archived)

Commercial transport or footwear?

(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 8:11, archived)

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 8:12, archived)

I was thinking these for work , I'm only round the corner from carnaby st
www.vans.co.uk/shop/en-gb/vans-gb/destruct-surf-shoes-vn0a4btlbka#hero=7
(

mongychops, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 8:24, archived)

nice thick insoles if you're going to be on your feet all day I suppose
I'm not a black sneakers fan though tbh
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 8:34, archived)

Nor am I but I dont feel right at work in bright trainers

(

mongychops, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 8:39, archived)

as in vehicles or as in skate shoes

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 8:11, archived)

we've been on this site too long
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 8:13, archived)

Van Morrison, Van Damme and Van Tam busking

(

mongychops, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 8:14, archived)

no Halen?

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 8:15, archived)

Refuses to play anything other than jump

(

mongychops, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 8:19, archived)

Barry Foster

(dribble, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 8:51, archived)

OnlyVans

(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 8:42, archived)

v gl
(

Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 29 Apr 2021, 11:09, archived)

My feet are giving me gyp
I think I'll cycle to the gym a bit later and do some rowing to take the stress off me plates.

Edit, I also appear to have synchronised comments with McBeef now. We'll be going on the blob at the same time soon, you watch my words.
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 8:12, archived)

I'm cycling as I type this

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 8:14, archived)

*brb racism klaxon*

(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 9:08, archived)

The politically correct term is "thieving tinker", you monstrous bigot.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 12:36, archived)

morning
proper wazzing it down, bit of a surprise
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 8:20, archived)

yeah we were out to eat last night in the rain, fortunately the place was well covered and had patio heaters
clear and bright here this morning
(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 8:35, archived)

you, last night
(

Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 8:49, archived)

Morning
Nice sleep in today
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 8:30, archived)

Refreshed?
you're off for the rest of the week now aren't you?
(

garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 8:39, archived)

I'm in Saturday and Sunday
4 days in is enough for me, takes me to over 40 hours. Can't handle more than that for now, might do extra days when I'm used to it. Back and feet are still killing me, but dad's birthday tomorrow and I get paid
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 8:51, archived)

I actually slept to my alarm, this happens no more than a few times a year

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 9:21, archived)

I forgot to turn mine off
So I still woke up at 5, but I were straight back to sleep. Woke up again at 8 because upstairs had set her fire alarm off
(

Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 9:24, archived)

Morning
Getting my 2nd vaccine this morning, hope I don’t die on the way there
(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 8:42, archived)

fingers crossed m8 xx

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 29 Apr 2021, 9:07, archived)

nice one, 17th June for me - but I keep checking the NHS site in case I can move it sooner

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 9:21, archived)

Cheers
I’m still alive
(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 9:56, archived)

alright, Eddie Vedder, your records are turgid stadium rock dogshit, just thought you should know

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 29 Apr 2021, 10:45, archived)

Not everyone can write radio friendly songs about incest

(dribble, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 10:56, archived)

not exactly a ringing endorsement of their stadium-friendly angst rock, is it?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 29 Apr 2021, 11:00, archived)

Wankst rock, I call it!!!

(dribble, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 12:35, archived)

Not gonna disagree there m8

(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 11:30, archived)

three cheers

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 10:57, archived)

alright, GLaDOS, your something something barely humorous reference to a 14 year old game

(dribble, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 11:02, archived)

the nommy cayke is an unconvincing QOTW lie

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 29 Apr 2021, 11:08, archived)

A question every week, member?

(dribble, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 11:16, archived)

*2nd vaccine this morning FIVES*

(

broadsword, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 10:19, archived)

Hell yeah

(

Cheers Cheers, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 10:24, archived)

YES bruv

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 10:57, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 29 Apr 2021, 9:08, archived)

morning

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 9:21, archived)

morning queef fuck yeah thursday

(

broadsword, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 10:19, archived)

shit yes

(

Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 29 Apr 2021, 10:57, archived)

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