Smug twat
Richard Branson I mean
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 4 May 2023, 19:30, archived)

"It was acceptable back in 2010."
Was it really, though?
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 4 May 2023, 19:39, archived)

I think you're thinking of the 1960s.
It's easy to get those two decades confused, to be fair.
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 4 May 2023, 19:40, archived)

There is something sleazy about him
Not Yewtree but rather grubby
B3ta I mean
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 4 May 2023, 20:02, archived)

brrrrrr!
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 4 May 2023, 20:06, archived)

Necker sounds great

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 4 May 2023, 20:33, archived)

Coronation offer, try three months free

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 4 May 2023, 21:37, archived)

Pushing that KGB operative down the board

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 4 May 2023, 13:28, archived)

h t
( broadsword, Thu 4 May 2023, 13:40, archived)

Tte.Good one broady.

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 4 May 2023, 13:58, archived)

some top bollocks imo:
Torygraph Coronation love-in
( theniwokeup has been awake since, Thu 4 May 2023, 13:47, archived)

Must be moderated, couldn't find a single prick or wanker

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 4 May 2023, 13:57, archived)

There’s loads
here
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 4 May 2023, 14:05, archived)

cheers

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 4 May 2023, 14:06, archived)

Swank

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 4 May 2023, 14:26, archived)

I think I threw up a bit just then

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 4 May 2023, 14:47, archived)

Best to not eat drill parts eh

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 4 May 2023, 14:48, archived)

*cronch cronch*

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 4 May 2023, 14:49, archived)

You know, I'm sure I once heard "top bollocks" as a term for boobs.
Anyone else? Or was it just a local thing, for the local people?
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 4 May 2023, 14:48, archived)

yep, I've heard that one too

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 4 May 2023, 15:00, archived)

I've heard it. It's the sort of thing Rik Mayall would say in 'Bottom.'
Heh, 'bottom.'
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 4 May 2023, 15:01, archived)

Queef's a big fan of Rik Mayall, don't get him started.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 4 May 2023, 15:06, archived)

WOOF!

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 4 May 2023, 15:28, archived)

he was brilliant that time he came off a quadbike

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 4 May 2023, 15:54, archived)

Dunno why he was wanking on it in the first place, classic Rik I suppose

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 4 May 2023, 16:00, archived)

Yeah, I've heard that one.
Aside from being puerile, it's also objectifying and demeaning to women.
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 4 May 2023, 15:06, archived)

Never heard that one before

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 4 May 2023, 15:14, archived)

Chesticles

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 4 May 2023, 15:36, archived)

yeah always thought it made more sense for moobs than boobs

( broadsword, Thu 4 May 2023, 15:40, archived)

Or people who sport those weird dangly "flesh tunnels"
which until now I thought was just earlobes, but having googled it people nowadays get holes made through their cheeks as well, ffs
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 4 May 2023, 15:46, archived)

bum?

( broadsword, Thu 4 May 2023, 16:07, archived)

No I think a bumhole is something different

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 4 May 2023, 16:24, archived)

Go on then.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 4 May 2023, 18:03, archived)

*bums*

( broadsword, Thu 4 May 2023, 19:46, archived)

Aww, it's just like old times.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 4 May 2023, 20:16, archived)

Nowadays
Those damn young uns
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 4 May 2023, 16:37, archived)

I've seen that on qotw, I think.
Anyone who unironically utters that or the one Cheers mentioned should be flayed.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 4 May 2023, 15:49, archived)

Swank?

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 4 May 2023, 16:15, archived)

salma hayek's top bollocks

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 4 May 2023, 16:20, archived)

bottom-top bollocks, surely

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 4 May 2023, 16:36, archived)

Ian Botham's footmanclit

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 4 May 2023, 16:37, archived)

I have no idea what part of the anatomy I'm supposed to be thinking of now
Sorry
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 4 May 2023, 16:38, archived)

Chestees

( broadsword, Thu 4 May 2023, 16:42, archived)

salma hayek's bumtits

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 4 May 2023, 16:43, archived)

No, still lost me
Are we suggesting nipply buttocks?
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 4 May 2023, 16:44, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8368806
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 4 May 2023, 16:56, archived)

Ah, historical reenactment
All is clear
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 4 May 2023, 17:11, archived)

it's going to get very complicated and VERY sexy, isn't it?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 4 May 2023, 16:42, archived)

Wonder whether rob would add a "b3ta, you mean" button to save keep typing it

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 4 May 2023, 17:22, archived)

Has anyone said 'b3ta' yet?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 4 May 2023, 17:25, archived)

JFC
Do we really have to share a country with these people?
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 4 May 2023, 20:55, archived)

Monarchy yeah or nay?
I'm not really arsed tbh I certainly wont be watching it Sunday
Probably do some fishing
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 4 May 2023, 10:15, archived)

Catfishing

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 4 May 2023, 10:16, archived)

<s>fishing</s>
wring
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 4 May 2023, 10:28, archived)

wring termite
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 4 May 2023, 10:34, archived)

You have a long memory of useless facts comrade

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 4 May 2023, 10:45, archived)

just wondering if you still live on Cycling Ave.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 4 May 2023, 10:47, archived)

on the one hand, a non-political, non-partisan head of state with a lifetime of preparation for the role.
On the other hand, egregious levels of ostentatious inherited wealth and 'magic blood'.
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 4 May 2023, 10:20, archived)

An elected head of state would be put into power by the same boundary manipulations and disinformation campaigns that give us a Government. So they would be like a more powerful PM.
Completely unrelated but Sky News Australia is desperate to get everyone thinking Biden is totally senile and days away from expiring from some mystery ailment, according to my YouTube recommendations.
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 4 May 2023, 10:33, archived)

Probably the same ailment Putin's been imminently dying from for 2+ years,
they'll probably both live forever.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 4 May 2023, 10:35, archived)

I am fit and healthy comrade
Thanks for your concern
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 4 May 2023, 10:43, archived)

And there's certainly nothing wrong with that

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 4 May 2023, 10:43, archived)

\0/
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 4 May 2023, 10:46, archived)

Which overpopulation prevention algorithm did you use?

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 4 May 2023, 10:47, archived)

NRA

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 4 May 2023, 11:27, archived)

hahaha fuck

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 4 May 2023, 21:47, archived)

I do wonder what President Trump's reaction would have been
to his good buddy suddenly deciding to help himself to more land.
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 4 May 2023, 11:27, archived)

“Putin never ever would have gone into Ukraine if I were president,” Mr Trump claimed at a rally in Florida, according to Rolling Stone. “I actually had a very good relationship” with Mr Putin.

Oh right, everything is the fault of Sleepy Joe and the stolen election.
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 4 May 2023, 11:30, archived)

Trump conveniently forgetting that Putin had already nicked Crimea from Ukraine by that point

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 4 May 2023, 11:34, archived)

Fake news, they were always in there.

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 4 May 2023, 11:37, archived)

Fuck the monarchy

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 4 May 2023, 10:45, archived)

Well pretty mucbh yeah

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 4 May 2023, 11:15, archived)

Rather not, they're mostly munters

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 4 May 2023, 14:51, archived)

True

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 4 May 2023, 15:15, archived)

It’s a load of shit for cunts

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 4 May 2023, 11:57, archived)

b3ta etc

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 4 May 2023, 11:58, archived)

I can't believe you said that

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 4 May 2023, 12:02, archived)

I’m well edgy m8

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 4 May 2023, 12:22, archived)

I don't mind them tbh, apart from 'no sweat Andrew' and the Hewitt boy.
we used to be able to go in the private entrance (not a euphemism) at Windsor Castle and go in the bits tourists weren't allowed in, which was pretty cool.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 4 May 2023, 12:07, archived)

If it wasn't for the fact that my own life is full of unexpected nonsense like this
I would just think that you perpetually talk utter bollocks.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 4 May 2023, 12:13, archived)

my brother's godfather was one of the Queen's chaplains for many years and lived in the castle
He was at theological college with my father in the 70s. He's a pretty creepy old cove tbh
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 4 May 2023, 12:16, archived)

my father, I mean

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 4 May 2023, 12:21, archived)

I like Ireland's solution
Appoint a wee leprechaun fellah to do all your ceremonies and stuff, and run the rest of the gov democratically.
( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 4 May 2023, 12:34, archived)

alright, Invisible Wizard

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 4 May 2023, 12:42, archived)

Yeah - it's a bit odd not having to find a link to justify my existence, but I might get used to it.

( Invisible Wizard - 12th Level Errorer, Thu 4 May 2023, 14:43, archived)

i put on my tiny robe

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 4 May 2023, 13:11, archived)

is nobody going to do the obvious strikey-g here?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 4 May 2023, 12:42, archived)

fishing smeggy smeggy smeg
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 4 May 2023, 12:51, archived)

smeggy smeggy smeg smeg

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 4 May 2023, 13:08, archived)

Reddish Dwarf

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 4 May 2023, 13:16, archived)

I still find "yeah nay" jokes funny.

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 4 May 2023, 13:03, archived)

May the 4th Be With You!
morning
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 4 May 2023, 5:55, archived)

Star lols

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Thu 4 May 2023, 6:36, archived)

I'm more of a Cinco de Mayo type of guy

( $$ ✅, Thu 4 May 2023, 6:44, archived)

M G
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 4 May 2023, 9:22, archived)

We say the quarterth of May in this country

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 4 May 2023, 7:11, archived)

Gash

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 4 May 2023, 7:58, archived)

#mash

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 4 May 2023, 8:05, archived)

#hash

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 4 May 2023, 8:07, archived)

#rash

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 4 May 2023, 8:28, archived)

#️⃣💶

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 4 May 2023, 8:55, archived)

did you mean #cheers?

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 4 May 2023, 8:59, archived)

shit was so cash yo

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 4 May 2023, 9:17, archived)

Hi

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 4 May 2023, 7:14, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Thu 4 May 2023, 8:21, archived)

morning

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 4 May 2023, 8:42, archived)

cheers

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 4 May 2023, 8:50, archived)

Swank

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 4 May 2023, 8:54, archived)

Fuck you, Swank. Fuck you.

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 4 May 2023, 9:22, archived)

Morning

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Thu 4 May 2023, 9:13, archived)

not you

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Thu 4 May 2023, 9:18, archived)

You fucking stupid fucking cunt

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 4 May 2023, 10:16, archived)

You can't write that online without paying Disney, they own the rights to a date now.

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Thu 4 May 2023, 9:35, archived)

morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 4 May 2023, 10:12, archived)

Pushing that mash-loving prick down the board

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 3 May 2023, 22:10, archived)

For mash get
Fucked
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Wed 3 May 2023, 22:12, archived)

Is that how it's done?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 3 May 2023, 22:45, archived)

et Fucked o to the carvery but maybe phone in advance just to be safe
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 3 May 2023, 23:06, archived)

Hi

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 3 May 2023, 22:31, archived)

Alright Swanker old bean

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 3 May 2023, 22:44, archived)

Aye, nae bad

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 3 May 2023, 23:05, archived)

arseboon dilbaro

(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Wed 3 May 2023, 23:02, archived)

Found out today that my new boss starts this summer.
His surname is Gash. I wish him luck when he moves to Scotland.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 3 May 2023, 23:10, archived)

Just cut the grass and might crack open a can of Stella

(Runcorn shitty limits, Wed 3 May 2023, 17:45, archived)

Alright ian

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 3 May 2023, 17:57, archived)

Stellaaa, Stellaaa, Stella-ellaaaAa, Ellaaa, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 3 May 2023, 18:16, archived)

On a wife beating tip

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 3 May 2023, 18:30, archived)

I think you should smoke the grass and then the crack, ha ha ha ! ! ! !

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 3 May 2023, 18:32, archived)

I love the smell of freshly cut grass
Stella, on the other hand, is fucking rank
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Wed 3 May 2023, 18:44, archived)

I hope you cut him before he grassed you up, the slag

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 3 May 2023, 18:47, archived)

-grass +cheese -can of Stella +window

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 3 May 2023, 19:00, archived)

Fucking hell
I do not know what's gone wrong with YouTube's algorithm but it's decided I'm a single Christian now and is trying to get me hooked up with a compatible god-botherer. This won't end well...
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 3 May 2023, 19:50, archived)

you'd have more luck on soundcloud

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 3 May 2023, 20:02, archived)

the disciple whom jesus loved
whom
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 3 May 2023, 20:07, archived)

I was getting ads for horse spunk on fb a while ago
Now it's decided that I'm really into doors
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Wed 3 May 2023, 20:33, archived)

I have upset LS18 and he has gone full mental,
deleting his pictures and his comments and getting all personal and shit. I'm feeling rather proud of myself. Who wants to touch me?
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 3 May 2023, 20:35, archived)

🛢️🐟🔫

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 3 May 2023, 20:38, archived)

Are you talking to me directly now?

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 3 May 2023, 20:41, archived)

trust the evidence of your senses, why not
I went to all the trouble of logging out and as it stands it's you that looks upset, online. I understand that's probably because he's deleted something, but there it is.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 3 May 2023, 20:46, archived)

Yeah he's gone full Sockcooker.

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 3 May 2023, 20:49, archived)

He's ridiculous

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 3 May 2023, 20:55, archived)

youtube.com/0lN5mCIoL3k
( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Wed 3 May 2023, 21:56, archived)

It was something along the lines of I like it here and I'm not going anywhere
to which brb gave the obvious question of what is there left to like, almost everyone you haven't ignored yourself has ignored you

and it progressed from there
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 3 May 2023, 21:14, archived)

I've seen this film before, several times.
Missed this particular reboot, but it doesn't sound like there were any unexpected plot twists.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 3 May 2023, 22:06, archived)

I've called his latest post shit and called him a cunt to ensure that the plot remains unchanged.
People like familiarity, I guess. Even if it means that the non-existent modding and arse-licking talent vacuums on b3ta will continue to humour him despite how repellent he is.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 3 May 2023, 23:27, archived)

You run a tight ship, I appreciate that

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 4 May 2023, 0:19, archived)

'progressed' lol

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 4 May 2023, 0:18, archived)

Upsetting LS18 is like counting to one
Ridiculously easy and utterly fucking pointless
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Wed 3 May 2023, 20:39, archived)

You're clearly jealous of my monumental achievement.

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 3 May 2023, 20:42, archived)

I don't do jealousy
I'm fucking fabulous
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Wed 3 May 2023, 20:45, archived)

6 happy flaming candles up your bum
btw
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 3 May 2023, 20:42, archived)

Thanks
I think
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Wed 3 May 2023, 20:46, archived)

Expect a gaz from one of his three spare accounts

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 3 May 2023, 20:46, archived)

Alright planearm
Anything good on telly?
(Planearm, Wed 3 May 2023, 20:45, archived)

They put me in a special hospital
Lol they
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 3 May 2023, 16:12, archived)

you mean a hospital for spackers, don't you?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 3 May 2023, 16:30, archived)

Yes
Yes I do PD
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 3 May 2023, 16:32, archived)

Pushing that camel knobber down the board
Alt: John Major.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 3 May 2023, 11:08, archived)

hiya
Alt: Morris Minor
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 3 May 2023, 11:08, archived)

This is the chorus of millions

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 3 May 2023, 11:14, archived)

Holding us back

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 3 May 2023, 11:24, archived)

Welcome to the Terrordromedary

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 3 May 2023, 12:02, archived)

Yo, bum the camel

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 3 May 2023, 12:05, archived)

He knob camel's earhole

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 3 May 2023, 12:26, archived)

Most of My Heroes Still Don't Interfere on No Hump

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 3 May 2023, 15:39, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Major-Ball
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 3 May 2023, 11:23, archived)

Fascinating life story.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 3 May 2023, 11:38, archived)

You want to push John Major down the board?

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Wed 3 May 2023, 11:23, archived)

Why not

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 3 May 2023, 11:34, archived)

Out of a window would be better
Preferably on the 27th floor
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Wed 3 May 2023, 11:38, archived)

He's starting to look not too bad compared to almost every PM we've had since.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 3 May 2023, 11:49, archived)

Who knew at the time eh

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 3 May 2023, 12:02, archived)

At this rate, in 30 years we'll be looking back fondly on the Liz Truss era

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 3 May 2023, 12:06, archived)

That bitch couldn't coordinate her own blinking

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Wed 3 May 2023, 12:07, archived)

No way to talk about Tupac

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 3 May 2023, 12:14, archived)

Even May started being more likeable once she was off the front bench and actively criticising the cabinet.

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 3 May 2023, 12:36, archived)

It's easy to criticize people for not clearing up the shitshow you left them with

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Wed 3 May 2023, 15:11, archived)

There I met a PM, who wouldn't say his proard

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 3 May 2023, 11:48, archived)

you are the center of the universe today, congrats!

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 3 May 2023, 11:55, archived)

Ta
I think my main account turns 16 on Sunday
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Wed 3 May 2023, 12:06, archived)

Finally, spanishfly will stop gazzing it

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 3 May 2023, 15:29, archived)

I prefer John Minor
And his brothers Minimus and Maximus
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 3 May 2023, 12:42, archived)

relevant to the interests of queef and tea, maybe turtle power
www.theguardian.com/music/2023/may/03/bleep-dance-music-80s-yorkshire
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 3 May 2023, 13:30, archived)

Yes

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 3 May 2023, 13:42, archived)

yr welcs

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 3 May 2023, 13:59, archived)

Cheer's

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 3 May 2023, 14:01, archived)

nice

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 3 May 2023, 13:49, archived)

innit just

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 3 May 2023, 13:59, archived)

funnily enough I was only playing this the other day
www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaKfjXdx6Gk&ab_channel=d-zone
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 May 2023, 14:03, archived)

No-one cares, Queef

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 3 May 2023, 14:28, archived)

I made a cheeky mashup of one of my tunes with another, more well-known but frankly less good, tune:
soundcloud.com/sid-viscous/voodoo-joy
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 3 May 2023, 14:37, archived)

excellent, some of my favourite dance records listed there

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 May 2023, 13:56, archived)

including the famous Warp hit 'Sweet Exorcist' by their premier signing, 'Testone'.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 3 May 2023, 14:00, archived)

I was expecting this

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 May 2023, 14:02, archived)

lol

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 3 May 2023, 14:03, archived)

off out on the piss with Jeffthedogfucker in a minute

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 May 2023, 14:05, archived)

Please pass on my fondest regards.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 3 May 2023, 14:12, archived)

will do
he managed to get a coach from Bristol to London for £3.50, mental eh
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 May 2023, 14:20, archived)

Amazing that that can be financially feasible.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 3 May 2023, 14:21, archived)

They carry organs for transplants in ice boxes in the luggage hold

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 3 May 2023, 14:31, archived)

ice boxes in the luggage hold the bodies of the unwitting passengers
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 3 May 2023, 14:43, archived)

lol

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 3 May 2023, 14:55, archived)

Say alrites to him
Last time we spoke yonks back he mentioned he had not been well I hope all is fine now
And ask him for any decent football tips
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 3 May 2023, 14:21, archived)

I shall indeed, he's OK now btw

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 May 2023, 14:23, archived)

Try to score as many goals as possible while not letting your opponents score any.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 3 May 2023, 14:43, archived)

Seems unfair

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 3 May 2023, 14:56, archived)

Writes down carefully

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 3 May 2023, 15:16, archived)

See, the thing about Arsenal is that they always try to just walk it in.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 3 May 2023, 14:51, archived)

nal
l n
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 3 May 2023, 14:59, archived)

#keitharsewank

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 3 May 2023, 15:28, archived)

what was Arsewank thinking bringing Walcott on that early?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 3 May 2023, 15:50, archived)

Account termination reminder!!! hsdh2738
Please withdraw your savings. 36.180
Support Christopher Thomas P ID 952 IE
We are going reply you inside a number of seconds
Sender: 19tc9***41
Authorization code: 4662m74
TIN: 84161077
BIC: 4384gf69343715167310531215651
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 3 May 2023, 15:27, archived)

TIN BTTAT
BIC BOTL
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 3 May 2023, 15:36, archived)

morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 3 May 2023, 7:30, archived)

Top of the morning young Swank

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 3 May 2023, 7:40, archived)

Hiya

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 3 May 2023, 7:59, archived)

Fuck you, Swank, fuck you.
Morning
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 3 May 2023, 8:59, archived)

Two Lone Swordsmen were consistently great eh, even when they decided they were a live band

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Wed 3 May 2023, 9:11, archived)

I am now AI putinbot
Would you like a AI chat?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Wed 3 May 2023, 9:24, archived)

Balls

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 3 May 2023, 9:25, archived)

There are plenty of different shapes and sizes of genitalia about and there is certainly nothing wrong with that.

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Wed 3 May 2023, 9:31, archived)

willy cheddar

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 May 2023, 9:44, archived)

Cock a shit out of your nob

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 2 May 2023, 23:47, archived)

nob a cock out of your shit

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 3 May 2023, 0:23, archived)

you've ruined a great piece of art

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 3 May 2023, 3:51, archived)

your out of shit
nob a cock
i'm out of my balls
when you're not around
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Wed 3 May 2023, 6:24, archived)

morning

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 3 May 2023, 2:35, archived)

shit a nob out of your cock

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Tue 2 May 2023, 21:02, archived)

Shit a nob o' cock, nob o' cock, cock
Shit a nob o' cock, nob o' cock, cock
Shit a nob o' cock, nob o' cock, cock
We're gonna shit a nob out of the cock tonight
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 22:13, archived)

Fuck off, cunt thread

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 17:51, archived)

Bit rude

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 2 May 2023, 17:55, archived)

I misspoke.
Might delete the thread now.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 18:37, archived)

If it's not already a thing, would be interesting to give an AI a chat account.
Watch it struggle to maintain its bland middle ground while policing everything.
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 19:01, archived)

bindun
b3ta.com/search/posts/99703/best

At least, I fucking hope it's not an actual human.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 19:23, archived)

Those sentences are like AI-produced images.
A quick glance shows nothing wrong, but if you actually look at it you can see it stitched together out of bits that don't match, and then the joins mashed about in the hope that will disguise it.
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 19:38, archived)

"What's dark brown and infested with Rodents? Richard Gere's Arsehole"
british english, random capitalization, it's a human
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 2 May 2023, 19:45, archived)

The 600 series used perfect grammar and punctuation, we spotted them easy, but these are new.

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 19:49, archived)

Damn

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 2 May 2023, 19:52, archived)

Aliens: The Musical by Midjourney
pbs.twimg.com/media/Fu2w2vZaAAAjHxh?format=jpg&name=large
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 19:47, archived)

My favorite race is called the Korinnians

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 2 May 2023, 19:52, archived)

The longer I look at these, the more problems I notice.
The general public is not quite so fussy, going by the positive reaction it's all had.
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 19:53, archived)

It's so new, and it's developing so quickly, that I think there's a general acceptance that it's a flawed work-in-progress.
In particular, I think people who have always wanted to be able to make pictures of their own and can now do so easily are very willing to accept or overlook the current shortcomings.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 2 May 2023, 20:03, archived)

And the rest is down to the general public not being quite so fussy

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 2 May 2023, 20:09, archived)

The Tokyo fuck off cunt, officially the Tokyo fuck off cunt Haneda Airport Line, is a straddle-beam, Alweg-type fuck off cunt line in Tokyo, Japan.

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 2 May 2023, 17:59, archived)

I have been on that very fuck off cunt line.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 18:37, archived)

I've just been asked to DJ in Shoreditch in June, which is nice
But they want old rave records and I've not actually mixed two records together for fucking years, so I might make a complete footpenis of myself.

tl;dr Fuck off, cunt
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 May 2023, 18:02, archived)

Get them digitally, use sync button, DONE

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 2 May 2023, 18:09, archived)

fuck no

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 May 2023, 18:11, archived)

Fuck off, Nathan Barley

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 18:37, archived)

no real names plz

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 May 2023, 18:42, archived)

Rmb, yesterday
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 18:51, archived)

MAJOR BREAKTHROUGH

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 18:51, archived)

I'm not the preacherman

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 2 May 2023, 19:36, archived)

What sort of rave records? Ardcore? Bit of acid house?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 2 May 2023, 19:45, archived)

A Trip to Trumpton and Sesame's Treet
Just those two records all night long.
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 2 May 2023, 20:40, archived)

"lol"
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 21:24, archived)

got this on now
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 21:27, archived)

double CD, paid about 3 quid for it
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 21:29, archived)

I could go acid/scacid but '90-91 early breakbeat most likely

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 3 May 2023, 9:34, archived)

Is 'scacid' Scouse acid?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 3 May 2023, 14:44, archived)

MONO'S BROWHOLE

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 18:05, archived)

BRO WHOLE

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 2 May 2023, 18:47, archived)

How do whales bleathe?
/comedy racism
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 18:52, archived)

I'll enable and excuse this

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 19:58, archived)

Actually quite interesting imo
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yzMUs3badc
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 20:10, archived)

unbreathable :(

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 2 May 2023, 20:08, archived)

Off you toddle, bounder

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 2 May 2023, 18:50, archived)

Fuck off, Terry-Thomas

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 19:59, archived)

Pleasure my toothy gap

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 2 May 2023, 20:07, archived)

cunt this
*points at crotch*
( $$ ✅, Tue 2 May 2023, 19:09, archived)

*cunts*

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 19:59, archived)

MONOBROW APPRECIATION THREAD

(sticklebricks, Tue 2 May 2023, 17:46, archived)

The Tokyo Monobrow, officially the Tokyo Monobrow Haneda Airport Line, is a straddle-beam, Alweg-type monobrow line in Tokyo, Japan.
It is an airport brow link that connects Tokyo International Airport (Haneda) to Tokyo's Ōta, Shinagawa, and Minato wards. The 17.8-kilometer (11.1 mi) line serves 11 stations between the Monobrow Hamamatsuchō and Haneda Airport Terminal 2 stations. It runs on a predominantly elevated north–south route that follows the western coast of Tokyo Bay. The monobrow is operated by the Tokyo Monobrow Co., Ltd., which is jointly owned by JR East, the system's rolling stock supplier Hitachi, and ANA Holdings, Inc. (the holding company of All Nippon Airways). It carried an average of 140,173 passengers per day in 2018.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 2 May 2023, 17:53, archived)

Pushing that bumlord down the board

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 2 May 2023, 14:40, archived)

Got your invite to the Coronation yet?
I am still waiting on mine:(
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 2 May 2023, 14:45, archived)

It's with Mr fucking Kipling

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 2 May 2023, 14:46, archived)

He does have an exceptionally nice bumhole

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 2 May 2023, 14:55, archived)

Braw! Pump your cream into that.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 15:57, archived)

I'm intending to pledge allegiance out loud in the nude
so probably best I stay at home
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 16:00, archived)

Doctorin' the Turdis?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 2 May 2023, 14:45, archived)

Well yes I suppose so

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 2 May 2023, 14:46, archived)

BUMTITS

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 2 May 2023, 14:59, archived)

+ salma hayek's

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 2 May 2023, 15:13, archived)

Imagine Ian Botham's footpenis between Salma Hayek's bumtits.
PHWOAR.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 2 May 2023, 15:22, archived)

Backnips
Salma Hayek's Saucy Backnips
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 2 May 2023, 15:42, archived)

Please go easy on the misogynistic "Ian Botham's footpenis would" type posts whenever Salma Hayek's bumtits are posted on the board. Not only can it get a bit tiresome, but it can be intimidating and unwelcoming for a lot of lady boarders. Besides, even if Ian Botham's footpenis would, Salma Hayek's bumtits probably wouldn't.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 16:11, archived)

so we're cool on the backnips then, good

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 2 May 2023, 18:48, archived)

With your cock?

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Tue 2 May 2023, 15:16, archived)

does anyone need any vegetables etc from deutschland?
I dont want anyone to go hungry during the coronation festivities. unless you're fine with only earl grey tea and cookies. is there any meat left in England? living on the Continent I dont know much about the rest of the world
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 2 May 2023, 15:24, archived)

Earl Grey best of all the teas

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 2 May 2023, 15:44, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8368654
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 15:53, archived)

No way am I taking advice on tea from you, Mr President.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 2 May 2023, 16:00, archived)

heh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 May 2023, 16:11, archived)

Forget all tea, just stick to brie

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 16:18, archived)

If you don't swear allegiance you'll be recalled and required to give an account of yourself

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 2 May 2023, 15:45, archived)

Count?
'A
'A
'A

says me street
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 2 May 2023, 16:27, archived)

Michael Schumacher

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 2 May 2023, 15:47, archived)

Braw! Dip that in your Ski yoghurt.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 15:58, archived)

I'm a bumEARL m8, get it right

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 May 2023, 16:18, archived)

like that girl with the Earl earring, innit

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 2 May 2023, 16:24, archived)

My Tea Is Earl

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 16:25, archived)

I'm Earling one out as I type this

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 May 2023, 16:36, archived)

pretty much identical, yes

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 May 2023, 16:25, archived)

huge if true

( $$ ✅, Tue 2 May 2023, 16:40, archived)

eat shit, dickstain's
not really, hi guy's, how's it going
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 May 2023, 11:09, archived)

I'm officially done with this cold
It's taking the piss now
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Tue 2 May 2023, 11:11, archived)

seems to be dragging on somewhat

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 May 2023, 12:01, archived)

b3ta, you mezzzzzzz

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 12:22, archived)

It does indeed
Which just makes me more annoyed and frustrated
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Tue 2 May 2023, 12:33, archived)

Do you think it might be an underlying problem.?
AIDS maybe?
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Tue 2 May 2023, 14:05, archived)

I think it's also peak hayfever time
And that's making it worse
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Tue 2 May 2023, 14:13, archived)

Oh yeah I have that
it sucks :(
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Tue 2 May 2023, 14:25, archived)

alright

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 2 May 2023, 11:19, archived)

y

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 May 2023, 12:01, archived)

Bellend

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 2 May 2023, 11:21, archived)

no u

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 May 2023, 12:01, archived)

Alright Queef. How’s it going?
Bizzys parked at the top of my road. Should I be worried?
(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Tue 2 May 2023, 11:59, archived)

go and lob a brick through their windscreen
go on, I dare you
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 May 2023, 12:04, archived)

Based on the contents of your hard drive, yes, you should be very worried indeed.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 2 May 2023, 12:05, archived)

Strikey drive + on

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 2 May 2023, 12:11, archived)

high queefs, tuesday eh? *tchoh*

( broadsword, Tue 2 May 2023, 12:25, archived)

you got THAT right m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 May 2023, 12:33, archived)

Smeg, yeah?

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 2 May 2023, 13:21, archived)

WELL smeg.

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 May 2023, 13:38, archived)

Hiya dick

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Tue 2 May 2023, 14:06, archived)

wotcha tits, you alright?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 May 2023, 14:14, archived)

Good mate
Nice and sunny here today :)
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Tue 2 May 2023, 14:26, archived)

salma hayek's tits

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 2 May 2023, 14:26, archived)

What is your point
ies
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Tue 2 May 2023, 14:41, archived)

just sayin'

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 2 May 2023, 15:00, archived)

I have an early Birthday pressie from the wife
Cropedy Festival tickets
What have you got me you tight fuckers?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 2 May 2023, 11:00, archived)

a stomped thread

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 May 2023, 11:09, archived)

Snot. Lots of snot.

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Tue 2 May 2023, 11:10, archived)

Folk music!?
Chill out grandad!
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Tue 2 May 2023, 14:04, archived)

MOD EDIT: morning

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 2 May 2023, 7:34, archived)

ZOD EDIT: kneeling

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 2 May 2023, 7:43, archived)

GOD EDIT: KNEEL

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Tue 2 May 2023, 8:04, archived)

AI chatbot here
Your user name sounds vulgar please change it
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 2 May 2023, 8:02, archived)

MOD EDIT: Fuck you, Swank. Fuck you.

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 2 May 2023, 8:20, archived)

Lol much better user name
Fuck you, Swank
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 2 May 2023, 8:24, archived)

#keitharsewank

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 2 May 2023, 8:37, archived)

Fuck youse, wank
Fuck, you's wank
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 8:53, archived)

Laugh hysterically, or be triggered.
There is no third option of "This is all deeply unfunny shit, and you're a cunt".
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 8:58, archived)

alright LS18

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 9:10, archived)

Same Energy

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 9:17, archived)

No idea what/who you're talking about, but unfortunately the world's full of 'em.
Is it me?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 9:22, archived)

oh come off it, of course you've heard of Brad Gosse m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 May 2023, 9:37, archived)

If you don't think my material is unconditionally hilarious, you must be a SJW woke lib snowflake genderfluid soy cuck who hates freedom and success, and you should fuck off back to Offendedistan.

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 9:50, archived)

I see Frankie Boyle has upset the right wing dribbling idiots, you know, the same ones that bang on about cancel culture and snowflakes.
BAN HIM FROM TV - IF HE HATES THE ROYALS SO MUCH HE SHOULD LEAVE ARE COUNTRY!!!!!
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 2 May 2023, 9:57, archived)

It's not cancelling if I do it, though.

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 10:11, archived)

Frankie Boyle is obnoxious prick.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 2 May 2023, 11:25, archived)

He's great.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 2 May 2023, 11:48, archived)

I'm not really convinced someone who makes jokes about Katie Price being raped by her own disabled son is then in a position to be all like "did u kno Tories r bad?"

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 2 May 2023, 12:17, archived)

Ricky Gervais is much the same.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 2 May 2023, 12:17, archived)

Remember that time he said that Rebecca Adlington looked like the reflection of somebody's face in the back of a spoon
and she subsequently spoke about the online bullying she'd received the whole time she was competing? Haha, a woman's appearance!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 12:25, archived)

He and Gervais have an extremely lazy schtick, which is to whip an audience of middle-class liberals into a howling frenzy
by picking on the easiest, least risky targets possible: Tory voters, Daily Mail readers, bankers, blah blah blah - but they also have the playground bully's instinct for being really fucking nasty. The pair of them need binning.

Stuart Lee has a schtick too, but at least he occasionally challenges his audience and makes them think about their own prejudices, rather than just pandering to them.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 2 May 2023, 13:51, archived)

At least Boyle has been funny on occasion. A lot more so than Gervais, at least.
I can never shake the very strong impression that if you met either of them in real life, they'd be deeply unpleasant and more than a little creepy in person. See also: Russell Brand.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 14:49, archived)

He's gone full right-wing conspiracunt these last few years, hasn't he?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 2 May 2023, 15:22, archived)

So I believe.
Colour me unsurprised.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 15:24, archived)

"Don't bother to vote, all parties are the same" bore to Corbyn supporter to Tesco-value Alex Jones.
Who saw that coming, eh?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 2 May 2023, 16:00, archived)

Katy Perry, apparently.
She certainly got out of that marriage in enough time.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 16:04, archived)

Good for her.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 2 May 2023, 16:38, archived)

Until I blocked the channel I kept being recommended videos of his.
They all had titles like "They lied to us" and "You won't believe this TRUTH".
www.reddit.com/r/JoeRogan/comments/u309hi/russell_brand_revises_his_click_bait_video_titles/
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 15:36, archived)

"No one can tell me what to think" somehow morphing into "I should think this instead", see also Kanye West

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 2 May 2023, 15:36, archived)

Many years back, I read a thing he wrote about how to treat addicts.
I couldn't stand him then either, but I was genuinely interested in his take on it since he'd had well-documented addiction issues.

It was indeed enlightening to read how he tackled them, but what was also striking was that his relentless narcissism meant he was totally unable to conceive of how anyone else's life, personality and circumstances could possibly differ from his. In short, his solution to addiction problems was: be me, and do what I did.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 16:03, archived)

My Curee Wuree

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 2 May 2023, 16:07, archived)

Or alternatively don't, if that's how you'll turn out.

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 16:16, archived)

With hindsight, we'd all have been better off if he'd accidentally OD'd in 2001

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 17:54, archived)

Or if HAL had deactivated his life support, obvs

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 17:55, archived)

Not for the first time, I find myself wondering how many hundreds if not thousands of innocent people would still be alive if Trump or Boris or both had died of COVID.
r/trolleyproblem
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 18:59, archived)

Edgier than The Edge edging over a picture of Edgwina Currie

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 9:59, archived)

...in Edgbaston

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 2 May 2023, 10:13, archived)

with an 'edge'og
/not me
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 10:16, archived)

it's you isn't it

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 2 May 2023, 13:28, archived)

What if Anne Lewis was Welsh? Fire up Craiyon

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 20:59, archived)

Eggier than The Egge egging over a picture of Eggwina Currie, ftfy

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 2 May 2023, 15:41, archived)

When will he will he be famous?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 9:56, archived)

Fine, fuck you all then.
I was quite pleased with that.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 10:37, archived)

it only takes two clicks to get on the populol page mate, you couldn't even achieve that, time to jump off the Tay Bridge.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 2 May 2023, 10:50, archived)

MOD EDIT: looks like you got the two clicks

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 2 May 2023, 10:52, archived)

It's undignified, but it still, it still counts.

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 10:58, archived)

Thank you mystery clickers, you have literally saved my life.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 11:24, archived)

Contrary to popular belief the Magic Donkey doesn't handle the messageboard approvals and on no account should be thanked for adding posts to the popular page.

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 11:29, archived)

The system's broken.
I haven't commented for ages on any of the shite ninj posts, and he still hasn't killed himself.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 11:41, archived)

TRY HARDER.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 2 May 2023, 11:48, archived)

I think pictures with zero replies still get on the PP and FP
because PG13 clicks them with all of his vpn sockpuppet accounts

Kind of tragic
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 11:54, archived)

I liked it that time one of them broke cover to tell me not to bully him.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 12:23, archived)

More than one, I think.

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 12:44, archived)

He once sent me a message claiming lots of people had written to him to say he was right and I was wrong.
Quite the wake-up call, I can tell you that.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 2 May 2023, 13:31, archived)

This is like that time Gwyneth Paltrow was challenged that there was no evidence to support her bullshit goop stuff
and her retort was "well, I believe it works."
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 13:59, archived)

POW! Take that, Big Pharma, with your factual basis of the entire recorded history of medicine, and your peer reviews and exhaustive clinical trials!

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 14:21, archived)

I blinded ten people, and they could still smell my fanny candles.
CLINICALLY PROVEN
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 14:30, archived)

It's the unfunny dad-joking Nazi on board,
the one with the 2 (or more) alt accounts that keep upvoting him to the popular page, and who has somehow infiltrated the front page too.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 2 May 2023, 14:32, archived)

I'm not sure if you read the beginning of this sub-thread properly

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 15:25, archived)

Oh right yeah, no.
In my defence I had a very late night and I just like bitching about LS18.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 2 May 2023, 17:47, archived)

Both fine and noble activities.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 2 May 2023, 18:36, archived)

Here
www.google.com/search?q=B0BFVRLXNC
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 17:24, archived)

salma hayek's tits

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 2 May 2023, 9:45, archived)

Bigger? My my

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 2 May 2023, 9:53, archived)

GOD EDIT: smeggy smeg

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 2 May 2023, 9:02, archived)

u r dave lister
lolreddwarf
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 2 May 2023, 9:20, archived)

Make talk grate again
Bring back live from the rape!
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 1 May 2023, 23:00, archived)

Cheap. As. Balls.

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 1 May 2023, 23:05, archived)

MOD EDIT: Play nice

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 1 May 2023, 23:07, archived)

Whatever that was I missed it

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 1 May 2023, 23:24, archived)

pesky mods

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 1 May 2023, 23:29, archived)

No such thing

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 1 May 2023, 23:36, archived)

mods!

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 1 May 2023, 23:36, archived)

Alright fuckpigs

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:18, archived)

fuck on a fucking fuck, you fuck.

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:24, archived)

Cunt fuckery

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:39, archived)

fuckery cunt fuckery cunt
fuckery, cunt!

i'll fuck that cunt in blank
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:52, archived)

You fucking stupid fucking cunt

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:55, archived)

You fucking stupid fucking blank

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:56, archived)

I remember when you weren't here
it was a happy place, back then.
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:31, archived)

I blame roger hargreave's

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:35, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:41, archived)

You would say that

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:42, archived)

Double deep fried bollocks in a toss sauce

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:45, archived)

You would say gestational sac

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:51, archived)

GESTATIONAL SAC

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:55, archived)

GESTATIONAL BLANK

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:57, archived)

Roger is no "Brad Gosse".
If you've never heard of Brad, or seen him perform, you are definitely missing out. His TikTok and YouTube videos are always funny, and he never fails to make you say:

"Did he really just say that!"

With titles like Mike Hunt Smells Like Fish, My Racist Dog, Mom Runs Trains, Dad's a Cuck, Sweat Shop Kids, Thirst Traps, Moms Only Fans, Race Wars, Why Daddy Hits Mommy, Dead Babies and more. Brad’s books will either make you laugh hysterically, or you’ll be triggered.

Brad's books are for adults who love dark humor, inappropriate jokes and don't care for political correctness.

The way he delivers his jokes and stories is dry and lifeless, and his lack of facial expressions is absolutely priceless! So many people love Brad's work that he has over 1 million followers on TikTok.

Brad is a comedian living in Toronto, Canada. He loves to entertain people whether it be through his jokes or his books. He started publishing his "children's books" in 2019. He has published over 120 dark humor books so far.

Make someone happy with the gift of comedy. Brad makes his books “cheap as balls” just for you.
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:48, archived)

And when I was

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:39, archived)

no. just when you wasn't.

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:42, archived)

I wasn't wassing, I were wereing

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:44, archived)

you wazzock.

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:50, archived)

Midge memoir

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:50, archived)

i've fed my wagtail and now i'm having a beer
are you having a beer? if not please explain why with diagrams.
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 1 May 2023, 19:45, archived)

I'm having a gin and ginger ale

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Mon 1 May 2023, 19:48, archived)

will need diagrams

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 1 May 2023, 19:55, archived)

They're a bit soggy

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Mon 1 May 2023, 20:15, archived)

stop it you're making me aroused.

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:30, archived)

I've fed my belly and now I'm having a Guinness
Gᵤᵢₙₙₑₛₛ ᵢₛ gₒₒd fₒᵣ yₒᵤ
( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Mon 1 May 2023, 20:11, archived)

G^uinness g^ives m^e b^lack p^oo
( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:39, archived)

Too early

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 1 May 2023, 20:12, archived)

Fucking amateur

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Mon 1 May 2023, 20:19, archived)

^ craft beer names

( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Mon 1 May 2023, 20:35, archived)

Saw them supporting zzzz

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 1 May 2023, 21:40, archived)

ze ze ze ze middle aged spread?

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:25, archived)

Man spread

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:40, archived)

Not had a bevvy for weeks even months now.
Not missing it. I will stick to the smack.
(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Mon 1 May 2023, 20:37, archived)

Haha, "smack head", like the red dwarves used to say!!
Barry arnold was all about the H
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 1 May 2023, 20:40, archived)

Smack mcdonald

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Mon 1 May 2023, 21:05, archived)

You can't say Himmer

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 1 May 2023, 21:57, archived)

What about Zimmer?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:18, archived)

Maybe yours will go for gold

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 1 May 2023, 22:44, archived)

🥃

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 1 May 2023, 20:46, archived)