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# subject line newsletter lol compo
write something pithy
you can do it in a jiffy
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:08, archived)
# here we go gathering NUTS in may
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:08, archived)
# Nuts in may
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:11, archived)
# Nuts in may
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:12, archived)
# nuts in may?
EDIT: oh no i've done that wrong
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:12, archived)
# who is may?
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:13, archived)
# ...
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:23, archived)
# captain wow vs. captain slow.
i'd buy tickets to that action!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey i understand you, little well-dressed bird, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:24, archived)
# The frightening thing is I think he's quite sexy.
Although I have no idea why.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:24, archived)
# weirdly
i know what you mean
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey i understand you, little well-dressed bird, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:26, archived)
# I think it's because he's clever.
And can fly a plane.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:27, archived)
# yes.
also, anyone that geeky and sensible must be very comfortable with the size of their equipment.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey i understand you, little well-dressed bird, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:28, archived)
# Oh I reckon he's a right demon in the sack.
The quiet ones always are.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:30, archived)
# i imagined him in a potoatoe sack then...
oh my poor fragile mind
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:31, archived)
# true
if they need to brag, they haven't got much to brag about.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey i understand you, little well-dressed bird, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:32, archived)
# *Sits quietly*
(I helped save b3ta! Matazone has new icons, but is keeping this one, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:51, archived)
# He also has great shirts.
He's got one of the same ones I have!

*glees*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:30, archived)
# Hello sweetheart!
His shirts are good, I like a good shirt.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:31, archived)
# Hello Lovely!!!
*does the 'Officer and a Gentleman' pick-up-and-carry thing through the halls of b3ta*
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:33, archived)
# Why aren't there more JPGs in the world?
*swaps tricorner for JPG's hat*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:35, archived)
# Probably something to do with the galaxy exploding or
some such malarky.

You look good in the hat, btw... ;-)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:36, archived)
# :D Why thank you!
Are you still coming a-visiting on the 1st of June?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:37, archived)
# gaz'd ya
:)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:39, archived)
# That's her.

She has a lovely personality and hair.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:24, archived)
# Hooray for the May,
He may be a gay,
He never gets his way,
Why does he stay,
On that programme with twat Clarkson and pocket housewifes favourite Hammond when he could clearly outhink both of them into soup?

I need to work on that last line a bit.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:25, archived)
# don't touch it!
the phrase "pocket housewife's favourite" is perfection.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey i understand you, little well-dressed bird, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:27, archived)
# Yeah.
I think the last line's a syllable over-long.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:27, archived)
# Nuts in May.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:13, archived)
# nuts?
in may?

are you mad?
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)
# A tiger?
in Africa?
(Metalfish Hasn't had a sig since, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:19, archived)
# Only...
...in Kenya.
(I helped save b3ta! LeightonJimbo has remembered his password!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:24, archived)
# forget norway
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey i understand you, little well-dressed bird, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:27, archived)
# Norway in May?
No way.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:30, archived)
# there may be whales
on their way to the thames
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey i understand you, little well-dressed bird, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:33, archived)
# May.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:19, archived)
# Szechuan? Duck!
(I helped save b3ta! Bela Lugosi's Dad, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:08, archived)
# Turd twisting your day away
turd twisting
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:08, archived)
# WTF
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:11, archived)
# :O
*orders five*
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:18, archived)
# Chinese earthquake dead eases international rice values-
-every cloud has a silver lining.
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:09, archived)
# insert, rotate, remove, sniff.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey i understand you, little well-dressed bird, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:09, archived)
# ARGH IT BURNS
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:09, archived)
# so does turd twisting
or so i've heard
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey i understand you, little well-dressed bird, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)
# Rampaging Rangers fans disgust country
as Mancunian bobby escapes unharmed
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:09, archived)
# Not all the coppers got off so lightly.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:15, archived)
# orange
(pithy)
(I helped save b3ta! monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:10, archived)
# Did everyone in china jump up and down at the same time?
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:10, archived)
# ^ This ^

do you have a link to your original high jump image?
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:12, archived)
# yes
with or without the bloke/kitten?

(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:26, archived)
# I don't remember the post... Do you have links?

Yup... ^ that's the fella!
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:28, archived)
#
ninja edited :p
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:30, archived)
# Leeloo Dallas Multipass
just 'cos...
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:10, archived)
# The B3ta Newsletter. Offending more people than a dogging session in Tescos car park
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:10, archived)
# Simian justice enforced!
(I helped save b3ta! printmeister http://tinyurl.com/c8s8fd5 for titanic T's, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:10, archived)
# Bin Laden and Waldo in gay love nest shocker
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:11, archived)
# TURNED OUT NICE AGAIN!
or

HA, HA, NEVER TOUCHED ME!

or

OO, MOTHER!

Any of those, ideally.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:12, archived)
# stapled between the thighs of cuban virgin women
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:12, archived)
# ...and we promise the links will work this week
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:13, archived)
# you opened the box, we came...then we put it back in the cupboard.
(I helped save b3ta! fegg ..next to Mr Waddilove, stinking of shit., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:13, archived)
# SLOWLY SUCKING YOUR LIFE AWAY
(Your watch is still saving for 5K but has learnt about 'nose bondage', Fri 16 May 2008, 13:13, archived)
# Like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a funny link
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:13, archived)
# READ THIS YOU DRASTIC PLASTIC SPASTIC
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:14, archived)
# Doing to the internet what Rangers fans did to Manchester
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Propps, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:14, archived)
# Sit back and relax. This’ll be over in a jiffy.
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:14, archived)
# sesroh evol i
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:14, archived)
# hey!
!sesroh evol I
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey i understand you, little well-dressed bird, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:17, archived)
# !efiw ym si os dna sesroh evol I
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:19, archived)
# kcab eht dnuor ti fo spmul tog ev'ew
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey i understand you, little well-dressed bird, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:20, archived)
# All sing along now...

evol esroh od I
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:24, archived)
# b3ta newletter: Propaganda from the shadowy web elite.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:15, archived)
# haha!
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:18, archived)
# SHAKING UP YOUR INBOX LIKE SICHUAN PROVINCE
(I helped save b3ta! mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:15, archived)
# The suns come out, and we’re all sweating like rapists in B3ta towers.
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:15, archived)
# Half-heartedly humping your leg like a geriatric spaniel
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)
# I know a man who lost his left arm and left leg in a road accident, he's alright now
(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)
# If Goebbels were still alive he'd love it.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)
# BLAAAAAAAAARRB!

(I helped save b3ta! Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - enjoying a post-meridian muncheon - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)
# This^


BLAAAAAAAAARRB!
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:18, archived)
# NUDE PICTURES OF THE DOCTOR'S DAUGHTER!
(I helped save b3ta! mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)
# Pictures of me beating the shit out of her, I hope.
I don't recollect having a daughter, so she can't be his proper babby.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:17, archived)
# Pictures of you and her wrestling naked in three inches of baby oil
excuse me a minute
(I helped save b3ta! mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:18, archived)
# three inches of baby oil
6 inches of timelord (tosh) blood.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:20, archived)
# i just want
6 inches of timelord.
give or take an inch or two...
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey i understand you, little well-dressed bird, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:22, archived)
# Give or take four, apparently.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:25, archived)
# 10 inches???
please tell me it's 10 and not 2
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey i understand you, little well-dressed bird, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:30, archived)
# Called David Teninch by Billie Piper.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:32, archived)
# 0_0
i REALLY want him now!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey i understand you, little well-dressed bird, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:35, archived)
# Shit.
*gets cattle prod out* BACK, wench. You'll get your turn.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:38, archived)
# ouch!
*smells burnt hair*
lay off! he's a timelord! he can easily handle both of us!
is it wrong that i've wondered what things oods can do with those mouth tentacles?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey i understand you, little well-dressed bird, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:41, archived)
# Hahaha, not at all.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:46, archived)
# so....
....you've thought about it too?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey i understand you, little well-dressed bird, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:49, archived)
# Hi, I'm the Captain.
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:52, archived)
# pfff!
you tease!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey i understand you, little well-dressed bird, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:55, archived)
# ALWAYS.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:58, archived)
# do you have
a sonic screwdriver?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey i understand you, little well-dressed bird, Fri 16 May 2008, 14:03, archived)
# Of sorts....
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 14:08, archived)
# you didn't like her then?
(I helped save b3ta! mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:22, archived)
# Int my daughter
Can't be his.

Must be a titwitch.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:24, archived)
# I just want to know why her appearence didn't change
when she regenerated.
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:19, archived)
# because she didn't regenerate
(I helped save b3ta! mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:19, archived)
# Aye, she was terraformed.
I'm still confused about that.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:20, archived)
# i think it was part terraform, part "two hearts, harder to kill", part silly plot device
(I helped save b3ta! mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:23, archived)
# Aye
RTD seems to have done every episode with the gleeful abandon usually reserved only for four year olds on too much ribena.

FUCK THE RULES, EVERYONE'S GAY NOW. Etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:26, archived)
# oh come on, it's not that bad
(I helped save b3ta! mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:32, archived)
# No, it's not that bad.
It's just every time I see him on telly he's banging on about how much he loves boys.

We GET IT, RTD. You're gay. Now, most gay people I know choose to define themselves with their actions and personalities instead of something so utterly piffling as their taste in genders. That's what annoys me about him.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:34, archived)
# i don't watch him on telly much
so i don't have that problem
(I helped save b3ta! mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:39, archived)
# What was it then?
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:21, archived)
# Wasn't there some guff about choosing their appearance when the Master regenerated?
Perhaps I dreamt that bit. She's not a full Time Lord, so possibly that's why.

Also, am I the only one pleasantly suprised to be enjoying this series? It's lovely good bonkers fun.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:22, archived)
# i'm not that surprised, because a) i'm easy to please
and i think that guff was about Romana, not the Master.
(I helped save b3ta! mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:24, archived)
# Perhaps it's different for ladies?
You'd have to ask The Rani.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:27, archived)
# Kate O'Mara!
*shudder*
(I helped save b3ta! mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:35, archived)
# That happened
to the Troughton Doctor when he was exiled to Earth. For some reason he had to regenerate, but was given a couple of seconds to choose a new appearance from four or five faces.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:26, archived)
# i bet the other three or four actors were gutted.
(I helped save b3ta! mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:36, archived)
# What must they have looked like
if he picked Pertwee, though?
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:38, archived)
# Because fucking
Russell T. Grant can't get the Timelord mythology right. Wanker.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:21, archived)
# oh shush
(I helped save b3ta! mutster101 fell over, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:26, archived)
# EVERYTHING IS SHIT, EXCEPT THIS, THIS IS THE GOOD SHIT
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)
# THE B3TA NEWSLETTER;
A PERFECT END TO THE WEAK.
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:18, archived)
# What do you do, club them to death with the monitor?
(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:20, archived)
# Offend them to death.
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:20, archived)
# licking the balls of literary giants
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey i understand you, little well-dressed bird, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:21, archived)
# standing on the backs of midgets
(I helped save b3ta! nocturne72, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:21, archived)
# pff
that's what they're for
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey i understand you, little well-dressed bird, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:23, archived)
# Hah!
You lick Terry Pratchett's balls.
(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:22, archived)
# I would.
No question. He wouldn't even need to ask. I'd just drop and lap away.
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:23, archived)
# i don't
the queue is too long.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey i understand you, little well-dressed bird, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:45, archived)
# Read it, it's a riot - Glasgow Rangers fan
(I helped save b3ta! Puromycin is still licking windows, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:23, archived)
# you'll never read all that.
(waxdart hello., Fri 16 May 2008, 13:23, archived)
# IT'S LIKE A BIG SCREEN THAT WORKS!
(I helped save b3ta! Sunburn Go on.... It's character building!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:27, archived)
# Ha ha ha!
/riots
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:29, archived)
# you need us more than we need you
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:32, archived)
# Tripping up coppers
for the good of the mob.
(I helped save b3ta! Zak McFlimby Twibbling @McFlimby, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:32, archived)
# Debutantes. Parvenues. And wankers!
(I helped save b3ta! HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:34, archived)
# [Outsourced To Winos]
(DrZaarlon Witchspace To Ra!, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:44, archived)
# Afganistan, Burma, China.
Is Denmark next on God's list?
(I helped save b3ta! sepang 's favourite day is, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:45, archived)
# RAGING THROUGH YOUR INBOX LIKE 100,000 ANGRY SCOTSMEN
(I helped save b3ta! wefbhweiufhweiu party, Fri 16 May 2008, 14:12, archived)