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# subject line newsletter lol compo
write something pithy
you can do it in a jiffy
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:08, archived)
# here we go gathering NUTS in may
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:08, archived)
# Nuts in may
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:11, archived)
# Nuts in may
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:12, archived)
# nuts in may?
EDIT: oh no i've done that wrong
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:12, archived)
# who is may?
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:13, archived)
# ...
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:23, archived)
# captain wow vs. captain slow.
i'd buy tickets to that action!
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:24, archived)
# The frightening thing is I think he's quite sexy.
Although I have no idea why.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:24, archived)
# weirdly
i know what you mean
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:26, archived)
# I think it's because he's clever.
And can fly a plane.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:27, archived)
# yes.
also, anyone that geeky and sensible must be very comfortable with the size of their equipment.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:28, archived)
# Oh I reckon he's a right demon in the sack.
The quiet ones always are.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:30, archived)
# i imagined him in a potoatoe sack then...
oh my poor fragile mind
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:31, archived)
# true
if they need to brag, they haven't got much to brag about.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:32, archived)
# *Sits quietly*
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:51, archived)
# He also has great shirts.
He's got one of the same ones I have!

*glees*
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:30, archived)
# Hello sweetheart!
His shirts are good, I like a good shirt.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:31, archived)
# Hello Lovely!!!
*does the 'Officer and a Gentleman' pick-up-and-carry thing through the halls of b3ta*
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:33, archived)
# Why aren't there more JPGs in the world?
*swaps tricorner for JPG's hat*
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:35, archived)
# Probably something to do with the galaxy exploding or
some such malarky.

You look good in the hat, btw... ;-)
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:36, archived)
# :D Why thank you!
Are you still coming a-visiting on the 1st of June?
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:37, archived)
# gaz'd ya
:)
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:39, archived)
# That's her.

She has a lovely personality and hair.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:24, archived)
# Hooray for the May,
He may be a gay,
He never gets his way,
Why does he stay,
On that programme with twat Clarkson and pocket housewifes favourite Hammond when he could clearly outhink both of them into soup?

I need to work on that last line a bit.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:25, archived)
# don't touch it!
the phrase "pocket housewife's favourite" is perfection.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:27, archived)
# Yeah.
I think the last line's a syllable over-long.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:27, archived)
# Nuts in May.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:13, archived)
# nuts?
in may?

are you mad?
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)
# A tiger?
in Africa?
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:19, archived)
# Only...
...in Kenya.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:24, archived)
# forget norway
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:27, archived)
# Norway in May?
No way.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:30, archived)
# there may be whales
on their way to the thames
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:33, archived)
# May.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:19, archived)
# Szechuan? Duck!
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:08, archived)
# Turd twisting your day away
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:08, archived)
# WTF
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:11, archived)
# :O
*orders five*
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:18, archived)
# Chinese earthquake dead eases international rice values-
-every cloud has a silver lining.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:09, archived)
# insert, rotate, remove, sniff.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:09, archived)
# ARGH IT BURNS
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:09, archived)
# so does turd twisting
or so i've heard
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)
# Rampaging Rangers fans disgust country
as Mancunian bobby escapes unharmed
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:09, archived)
# Not all the coppers got off so lightly.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:15, archived)
# orange
(pithy)
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:10, archived)
# Did everyone in china jump up and down at the same time?
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:10, archived)
# ^ This ^

do you have a link to your original high jump image?
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:12, archived)
# yes
with or without the bloke/kitten?

(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:26, archived)
# I don't remember the post... Do you have links?

Yup... ^ that's the fella!
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:28, archived)
#
ninja edited :p
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:30, archived)
# Leeloo Dallas Multipass
just 'cos...
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:10, archived)
# The B3ta Newsletter. Offending more people than a dogging session in Tescos car park
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:10, archived)
# Simian justice enforced!
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:10, archived)
# Bin Laden and Waldo in gay love nest shocker
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:11, archived)
# TURNED OUT NICE AGAIN!
or

HA, HA, NEVER TOUCHED ME!

or

OO, MOTHER!

Any of those, ideally.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:12, archived)
# stapled between the thighs of cuban virgin women
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:12, archived)
# ...and we promise the links will work this week
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:13, archived)
# you opened the box, we came...then we put it back in the cupboard.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:13, archived)
# SLOWLY SUCKING YOUR LIFE AWAY
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:13, archived)
# Like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a funny link
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:13, archived)
# READ THIS YOU DRASTIC PLASTIC SPASTIC
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:14, archived)
# Doing to the internet what Rangers fans did to Manchester
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:14, archived)
# Sit back and relax. This’ll be over in a jiffy.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:14, archived)
# sesroh evol i
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:14, archived)
# hey!
!sesroh evol I
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:17, archived)
# !efiw ym si os dna sesroh evol I
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:19, archived)
# kcab eht dnuor ti fo spmul tog ev'ew
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:20, archived)
# All sing along now...

evol esroh od I
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:24, archived)
# b3ta newletter: Propaganda from the shadowy web elite.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:15, archived)
# haha!
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:18, archived)
# SHAKING UP YOUR INBOX LIKE SICHUAN PROVINCE
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:15, archived)
# The suns come out, and we’re all sweating like rapists in B3ta towers.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:15, archived)
# Half-heartedly humping your leg like a geriatric spaniel
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)
# I know a man who lost his left arm and left leg in a road accident, he's alright now
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)
# If Goebbels were still alive he'd love it.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)
# BLAAAAAAAAARRB!

(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)
# This^


BLAAAAAAAAARRB!
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:18, archived)
# NUDE PICTURES OF THE DOCTOR'S DAUGHTER!
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)
# Pictures of me beating the shit out of her, I hope.
I don't recollect having a daughter, so she can't be his proper babby.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:17, archived)
# Pictures of you and her wrestling naked in three inches of baby oil
excuse me a minute
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:18, archived)
# three inches of baby oil
6 inches of timelord (tosh) blood.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:20, archived)
# i just want
6 inches of timelord.
give or take an inch or two...
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:22, archived)
# Give or take four, apparently.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:25, archived)
# 10 inches???
please tell me it's 10 and not 2
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:30, archived)
# Called David Teninch by Billie Piper.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:32, archived)
# 0_0
i REALLY want him now!
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:35, archived)
# Shit.
*gets cattle prod out* BACK, wench. You'll get your turn.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:38, archived)
# ouch!
*smells burnt hair*
lay off! he's a timelord! he can easily handle both of us!
is it wrong that i've wondered what things oods can do with those mouth tentacles?
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:41, archived)
# Hahaha, not at all.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:46, archived)
# so....
....you've thought about it too?
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:49, archived)
# Hi, I'm the Captain.
:D
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:52, archived)
# pfff!
you tease!
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:55, archived)
# ALWAYS.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:58, archived)
# do you have
a sonic screwdriver?
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 14:03, archived)
# Of sorts....
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 14:08, archived)
# you didn't like her then?
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:22, archived)
# Int my daughter
Can't be his.

Must be a titwitch.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:24, archived)
# I just want to know why her appearence didn't change
when she regenerated.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:19, archived)
# because she didn't regenerate
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:19, archived)
# Aye, she was terraformed.
I'm still confused about that.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:20, archived)
# i think it was part terraform, part "two hearts, harder to kill", part silly plot device
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:23, archived)
# Aye
RTD seems to have done every episode with the gleeful abandon usually reserved only for four year olds on too much ribena.

FUCK THE RULES, EVERYONE'S GAY NOW. Etc.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:26, archived)
# oh come on, it's not that bad
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:32, archived)
# No, it's not that bad.
It's just every time I see him on telly he's banging on about how much he loves boys.

We GET IT, RTD. You're gay. Now, most gay people I know choose to define themselves with their actions and personalities instead of something so utterly piffling as their taste in genders. That's what annoys me about him.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:34, archived)
# i don't watch him on telly much
so i don't have that problem
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:39, archived)
# What was it then?
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:21, archived)
# Wasn't there some guff about choosing their appearance when the Master regenerated?
Perhaps I dreamt that bit. She's not a full Time Lord, so possibly that's why.

Also, am I the only one pleasantly suprised to be enjoying this series? It's lovely good bonkers fun.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:22, archived)
# i'm not that surprised, because a) i'm easy to please
and i think that guff was about Romana, not the Master.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:24, archived)
# Perhaps it's different for ladies?
You'd have to ask The Rani.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:27, archived)
# Kate O'Mara!
*shudder*
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:35, archived)
# That happened
to the Troughton Doctor when he was exiled to Earth. For some reason he had to regenerate, but was given a couple of seconds to choose a new appearance from four or five faces.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:26, archived)
# i bet the other three or four actors were gutted.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:36, archived)
# What must they have looked like
if he picked Pertwee, though?
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:38, archived)
# Because fucking
Russell T. Grant can't get the Timelord mythology right. Wanker.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:21, archived)
# oh shush
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:26, archived)
# EVERYTHING IS SHIT, EXCEPT THIS, THIS IS THE GOOD SHIT
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:16, archived)
# THE B3TA NEWSLETTER;
A PERFECT END TO THE WEAK.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:18, archived)
# What do you do, club them to death with the monitor?
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:20, archived)
# Offend them to death.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:20, archived)
# licking the balls of literary giants
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:21, archived)
# standing on the backs of midgets
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:21, archived)
# pff
that's what they're for
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:23, archived)
# Hah!
You lick Terry Pratchett's balls.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:22, archived)
# I would.
No question. He wouldn't even need to ask. I'd just drop and lap away.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:23, archived)
# i don't
the queue is too long.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:45, archived)
# Read it, it's a riot - Glasgow Rangers fan
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:23, archived)
# you'll never read all that.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:23, archived)
# IT'S LIKE A BIG SCREEN THAT WORKS!
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:27, archived)
# Ha ha ha!
/riots
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:29, archived)
# you need us more than we need you
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:32, archived)
# Tripping up coppers
for the good of the mob.
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:32, archived)
# Debutantes. Parvenues. And wankers!
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:34, archived)
# [Outsourced To Winos]
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:44, archived)
# Afganistan, Burma, China.
Is Denmark next on God's list?
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:45, archived)
# RAGING THROUGH YOUR INBOX LIKE 100,000 ANGRY SCOTSMEN
(, Fri 16 May 2008, 14:12, archived)