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# newsletter subject line compo time
Come on internet writing staff
Write a zinger to make me laugh

(newsletter going out early this week - Easter and all that)
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:54, archived)
# WHAT?!
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:55, archived)
# Party with eggs, Rob.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:55, archived)
# NEWSLETTER: Proud sponsor of Max Clifford.
Or:
Newsletter brought to you by the letters B, T, A and the number 3!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:55, archived)
# I hope you one day get your day with the second option
(I helped save b3ta! Quijibo Esq. BSc. May contain traces of nuts, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:00, archived)
# it's pretty special :)
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:01, archived)
# I shall keep doing it until I do.
*plies rob with finest single malt*
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:06, archived)
# Easter: Chocolate, rabbits and zombies
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:56, archived)
# Every time you read this newsletter someone good will die
or: Newsletter: Lurkers paradise
(I helped save b3ta! Floppy Donkey crawled out of the ditch., Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:56, archived)
# I'm about to rip out a fart.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:56, archived)
# How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck
was an unemployed estate agent from Bolton?
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:56, archived)
# "BALLS AND ARSES" SHOUTS QUEEN, HIGH ON 'ROIDS
(I helped save b3ta! The Neville What what what, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:56, archived)
# hahahahahaa
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:57, archived)
# Hahahahahahaha
This one.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:12, archived)
# In ur paparazzi photograph, leakin ur secretz
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:56, archived)
# How about:
"Everybody say: Sod off Rob, you great big newsletter writing twatfister"
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:56, archived)
# Funnier than Farrah Fawcett's arse-cancer - hahahahaha!
/having bad Thursday blog
(I helped save b3ta! Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:56, archived)
# But
Nothing is funnier than arse cancer.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:59, archived)
# What about two arse cancers?
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:24, archived)
# this is my favourite thing of the past hour
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:54, archived)
# heheh
(I helped save b3ta! Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 17:22, archived)
# B3ta Newsletter 373: Brought to you a day early
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:57, archived)
# THURSDAY CANCELLED DUE TO RECESSION
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:57, archived)
# ^^this
(I helped save b3ta! Seventh is somewhat subdued, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:01, archived)
# Pushing from the back of your inbox faster than a G20 Police Officer
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:57, archived)
# MORE HEART-STOPPING THAN THE METROPOLITAN POLICE

(I helped save b3ta! gravytrain, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:57, archived)
# I haven't subscribed to the newsletter.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:58, archived)
# Petitioning for foetuses to be rebranded 'wombles'
(I helped save b3ta! Awesome Welles petitioning for foetuses to be rebranded 'wombles', Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:58, archived)
# Eggy Jebus died in your bins

(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:58, archived)
# THIS NEWSLETTER WILL NOT SHOW UP ON YOUR MONTHLY BILL
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:58, archived)
# hahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:59, archived)
# Newsletter leaked early by Bob Quick
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:58, archived)
# pfft
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:59, archived)
# haha
(I helped save b3ta! dogigniter - Saving the world one turkey ham wrap at a time -, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:05, archived)
# Oh, very good.
(I helped save b3ta! Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:09, archived)
# FREE HOT XXX BUNS INSIDE
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:59, archived)
# sexy buns
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:59, archived)
# Holing up your Jesus in a cave and stealing his choccy eggs
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:59, archived)
# LIKE A FROZEN PIG COCK BEING HAMMERED INTO A NUN'S CHUFF
(I helped save b3ta! Dixipoos Bye Bye Blackbird, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:59, archived)
# I never cease to be amazed by things you say
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:00, archived)
# oh my
this should be serialised on channel 4
(I helped save b3ta! gravytrain, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:02, archived)
# 'Good Friday' Likely to be Misrepresentation
(I helped save b3ta! zoldergoose, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:59, archived)
# b3ta - the number one cause of index finger cancer in the UK
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 14:59, archived)
# Happy Easter to all Christians, Happy Wester to all atheists
(I helped save b3ta! Awesome Welles petitioning for foetuses to be rebranded 'wombles', Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:00, archived)
# clever!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:00, archived)
# eating brown eggs for jesus
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:00, archived)
# HAHAHAHAHA
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:29, archived)
# FUCKING JESUS IN THE PISSHOLE FOR SPRINGTIME JAPES

(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:00, archived)
# Contents include early information on terrorist raids
(I helped save b3ta! Awesome Welles petitioning for foetuses to be rebranded 'wombles', Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:01, archived)
# COME EARLY : BEAT THE CROWDS
was Discomeats' sort-of suggestion...

www.b3ta.com/board/9345992
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:01, archived)
# i just got a £60 congestion charge fine
i hope that makes you smile...
(I helped save b3ta! op op op op op I stink therfore I spam, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:01, archived)
# If it's true it's funny.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:02, archived)
# i could have sworn i paid it!
either the whole system is FAIL or i lost a whole day somewhere along the line...
(I helped save b3ta! op op op op op I stink therfore I spam, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:05, archived)
# hahaha
I found £60 on Monday in a street in CENTRAL LONDON!

HAHAHAAHA
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:03, archived)
# karma says no
(I helped save b3ta! op op op op op I stink therfore I spam, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:05, archived)
# send me all your back account details and I'll deposit it to you
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:07, archived)
# BLOW ME IT CAUSES CANCER
news.myjoyonline.com/health/200904/28521.asp
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:02, archived)
# then I'm not blowing you
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:13, archived)
# Police Officers for G20 Protests Wanted - Interviews Tomorrow - Come Early and Beat the Crowd
[Someone said the joke earlier this week]
(__, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:03, archived)
# No-one's going to read it anyway, it's Easter
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:03, archived)
# breaking your mouse's scroll wheel every week
kinell - you can tell im bored. I never usually suggest newsletter headings, let alone ones this crap
(I helped save b3ta! taters Bah weep grahnah weep ninibong, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:03, archived)
# BUMPER EASTER ISSUE!
FREE INSIDE - PEACE & LOVE. EGGS FOR ALL!!
(I helped save b3ta! Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:04, archived)
# MAUNDY, MAUNDY, SO GOOD TO ME
(__, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:05, archived)
# rumbling in your inbox
like an italian shop
(I helped save b3ta! dogigniter - Saving the world one turkey ham wrap at a time -, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:05, archived)
# Haaaaahahahahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:14, archived)
# Newsletter sent early
so we can go on a holy four day lager and chocolate frenzy
(I helped save b3ta! Biffins Bridge, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:05, archived)
# Doctor Who Easter Special Cancelled: Details Inside
(__, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:05, archived)
# Giving a new meaning to man-handle since 2001
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:05, archived)
# Alien 6: The Resurrection of Jesus Christ
Girth
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:06, archived)
# YOU'VE GOT MAGNETS!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:06, archived)
# jesus christ super magnet
(I helped save b3ta! op op op op op I stink therfore I spam, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:09, archived)
# Starring Jesus Christ as James Bond in... You Only Live Twice
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:07, archived)
# I am a pale image of my former shadow
(I helped save b3ta! op op op op op I stink therfore I spam, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:07, archived)
# "What lies in the shadow of the statue"?
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:08, archived)
# EASTER EGGS ARE GAY
(theswollenbeef where there's a will there's a wank, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:09, archived)
# DOWNLOAD THE LEAKED B3TA NEWSLETTER HERE!
We're raving in sheds... together.
(I helped save b3ta! Seventh is somewhat subdued, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:10, archived)
# nailing religion to a cross and pelting it with comedy sweets
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:13, archived)
# Great,
now I'm imagining our lord as a piñata.
(I helped save b3ta! Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:18, archived)
# "Hating the environment because it's full of hippies."
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:13, archived)
# Tough on newspaper vending, tough on the causes of newspaper vending
(I helped save b3ta! TownsendsPublisher is all gravy baby, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:15, archived)
# damn vendors
(I helped save b3ta! dogigniter - Saving the world one turkey ham wrap at a time -, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:33, archived)
# Give 'em all a good hard shove ...
... it's the only language these bastards understand
(I helped save b3ta! TownsendsPublisher is all gravy baby, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:48, archived)
# JEBUS CHRIST DIED ON THE CROSS AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS HOLLOW CHOCOLATE RUGBY BALL
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:15, archived)
# Jesus nailed to cross a day early
after Judas leaks secret memo
(I helped save b3ta! Biffins Bridge, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:16, archived)
# ZOMBIE JESUS ATTACK!
(waxdart hello., Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:19, archived)
# THAT WAS QUICK
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:33, archived)
# I may have alzheimers
but at least i don't have alzheimers
(joke courtesy of Matt Smith)
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:35, archived)
# DONT CARRY THIS IN PLAIN VIEW OF A PRESS PACK
(I helped save b3ta! Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:38, archived)
# WHERE THE FUCK AM I GOING TO GET THIRTY PIECES OF SILVER ON A BANK HOLIDAY WEEKEND?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:53, archived)