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Despite her already ample size, bob still wanted more

(

idlesod, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:23, archived)

what?...

watering them makes them bigger?!

(r0yksopp, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:25, archived)

didn't you

know that? ha. i presume you are a man? *everybody* knows it.

(

idlesod, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:26, archived)

er...

(

idlesod, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:26, archived)

i always tell my missus

that spunk does it.

(r0yksopp, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:27, archived)

it's funny

ejaculation really annoys my wife. my spunk gets right on her tits

sorry sorry sorry

(

Spoon, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:28, archived)

sir..

you have crossed the line.

(r0yksopp, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:28, archived)

hahaha

(Divvy, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:29, archived)

mine does as well

;)

(Mattyboy, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:30, archived)

tcha!

You SLUT.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:33, archived)

Ha ha ha

that made me spurt my tea out

(

Penile, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:31, archived)

interestingly, i was reading sugar magazine the other day

and some 14-year old asked if her boyfriend was right when he said that giving oral sex makes your boobs grow beacuse it contains vitamins.

(

St3cks, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:30, archived)

propaganda I imagine

what did they respond with?

(

Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:33, archived)

They said

'I'm afraid this isn't true. It sounds very much like he is just trying to get you to do it.' Although you could sense the collective guffaws of an entire editorial staff, lurking between the lines.

(

St3cks, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:37, archived)

it's good line

though, isn't it.

(

Pootle, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:33, archived)

You just happened to be reading suagr magazine?

(Mattyboy, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:34, archived)

We were round at my friend's house

And she found some copies under her sister's bed. We had a good laugh. Other notable mentions were Blazin' Squad Fan, aged 12 asking 'When will my pubes grow?'

(

St3cks, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:36, archived)

And what were you doing under your friend's sister's bed?

eh, eh, eh?

(Mattyboy, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:43, archived)

is that one of those 3 named women?

Lisa Michelle Lee or something

(

Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:27, archived)

Jennifer Love

Hewitt

(

Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:28, archived)

women with 3 names ROCK!

jennifer loves chewitts
sarah micehlle gurner
sarah jessica poker
/spazz!

(

rogan, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:40, archived)

Fucking hell

Sarah Michelle Gurner looks just like my nan
(when she's gurning that is)

fucking spooky

(Mattyboy, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:44, archived)

someone just spilled a load of water on JLC

by the looks of it

(

Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:49, archived)

ha ha

though I could look at that image for some time...

(Mattyboy, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:52, archived)

jennifer

love hewitt

(r0yksopp, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:28, archived)

wow, never tried it

note to self: buy a water-skooshy thing...

(Barkotron_the_Magnificent, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:28, archived)

Deaf bar staff wreak havoc on native Norwegian rodents

Pshaw. Rodents/mammals/clay/hovercraft.

(

moonbadger Doesn't judge a fish by its ability to climb trees, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:21, archived)

HA HA HA!

that is brilliant!

(joshwa ultra lurker, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:23, archived)

Seconded

(

xian, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:23, archived)

I don't get it?

(

karatesausage, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:23, archived)

lemon/

lemmings...geddit

(r0yksopp, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:25, archived)

you are

a happy chappy, joshwa. :)

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:24, archived)

hahaha !

ace :)

(

Tedmus, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:38, archived)

I thought they

were rodents?

(

Dill, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:40, archived)

having no fingers, charlie found it difficult to put her make-up on without slipping

(Macabre_Halo, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:19, archived)

HA!

that made me laugh. :) (the caption helped alot - not that it's not a complete package mind, because it quite clearly is a complete package of picture and caption, perfect match for each other)

(joshwa ultra lurker, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:20, archived)

www.spazoutny.com/Rollerblading.htm

(Spaz Out, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:18, archived)

could I direct you to this

(

Pootle, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:18, archived)

ha ha

nice one.

(martian, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:21, archived)

Larf

I just did

(

xian, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:22, archived)

I dunno

(Ollsen, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:17, archived)

neither do i

(joshwa ultra lurker, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:17, archived)

I knew that

(Ollsen, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:18, archived)

how did you know that?

(joshwa ultra lurker, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:19, archived)

I dunno, just knew it

(Ollsen, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:20, archived)

cool :)

(joshwa ultra lurker, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:21, archived)

Bizzare repost..

(

EvS, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:22, archived)

The lurve calc

I've always hated those dreadful, random love calculators. But on the EastEnder's one I found that I was a 98% match for 'cunt biscuits' www.bbc.co.uk/eastenders/fun_games/love_calculator/index.shtml

Can anyone find a better love match with a swear word?

(Pickup_Stix, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:15, archived)

can't seem to beat that but....

i did get 89% with your mum. really!

(r0yksopp, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:17, archived)

i got 79% with your mum

69% with your sister

69% with your all gay.

(martian, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:20, archived)

ha ha ha

Squish + No hands = 99%

(Grumb., Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:18, archived)

Well in you

Zoe and me, 69.

At least I wouldn't have to look at that stupid fringe

(Mattyboy, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:18, archived)

bad news: she's got an even worse one

down there.

(

Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:20, archived)

Bizarrely enough

95%, me and Zoe.
And i'm not even gay!

(

St3cks, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:26, archived)

Oh yes you are.

I saw you down the Wagonwheel bar.

(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:32, archived)

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
*breath, cough*
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
*dies*

(Mattyboy, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:32, archived)

but I am apparently 89% in love with arsebadgers.

(Barkotron_the_Magnificent, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:20, archived)

omg

type in r0yksopp and 100% kitten !!!!!

(r0yksopp, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:23, archived)

I love

Fuck Socks 99% apparently.

(

St3cks, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:21, archived)

Dammit

(Pickup_Stix, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:22, archived)

Which is a good sign

I'll never get pregnant!! Or any communicable diseases!!

(

St3cks, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:24, archived)

94%

for 'boobies' - hurrah!

(

djdirect, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:25, archived)

hahah

95% for kurwa mac - polish swearword

(Gtancx, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:27, archived)

'flange' loves me 99%

and 76% for cheeky bum sex

(

coco, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:52, archived)

fucksocks and cuntymints

only have a 9% chance of getting it on.

(el pedro, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 19:23, archived)

An explanation

I'd enter this to the contest but the mail is already very right wing.

(Psythor, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:09, archived)

Nobody can destroy the beauty of facism!

Except little redex.

Oh it's there now.

Ugh. The Mail. Couldn't you have chosen something a bit more hideous, like the Grauniad.

(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:12, archived)

that's all the funnier because...

...it's absolutely true

(

mother inferior - now fully in compliance with the Trades Descriptions Act, being both a mother and inferior, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:18, archived)

Nothing is more hideous

than the Daily Mail

(

mcleod666, Fri 4 Apr 2003, 13:21, archived)

(

crab_bloke), Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:38, archived)

wow.

How traumatic it sounds, when you put it like that.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:45, archived)

Every morning

I check the doormat with a feeling of excited anticipation.
Every morning the world crushes my joy.

(

crab_bloke), Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:49, archived)

you cheeky sod!

I've been trying to get a frontpage for months.

(Psythor, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:51, archived)

whats your address

??

put it in here and youll get LOTS of mail :)

(5lab, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 19:10, archived)

bah

stolen from under your nose. At least i understood ur one, unlike crabs.

(186 posts and no eye for a good front page, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 19:22, archived)

Saturday morning TV Iraq stylee

(

Darryn.R, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:08, archived)

It's a word association game

musn't pause musn't hesitate or you get invaded by the USA on a flimsy pretext that's fooling nobody now look at each other and say BLEUURRGHH...

(cattleprod, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:09, archived)

I imagine that....

...their version of Maggie Philbin is just as dreadful. And frumpy. Behind the Purdah.

(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:10, archived)

Huzzah

That's stunning.

(

Pootle, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:12, archived)

heh heh!

that's blimmin great that is.

/emails to friends pretending he did it himself...

(

mrRush, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:17, archived)

I've often wondered how the front page works...

(

Thy Maker Has it really been that long?, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:06, archived)

that's

brilliant
w/y/h/p

(Gtancx, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:30, archived)

I'ts Hard To Say...

(Spaz Out, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:05, archived)

Name that tune

First post - and I don't even know how to use paint, so this is something of an achievement

(Grumb., Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:05, archived)

And

eyes and ears and mouth and nose...

Yay for Derek Griffiths

(cattleprod, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:07, archived)

my dad went to school with him

*FACT*

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:17, archived)

Oooh!

That is such a coup!

And I am not being sarcastic.

I heart Derek Griffiths.

(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:18, archived)

my only claim to fame i'm afraid

apart from the fact that my science teacher went to school with sue pollard.

[edit]night night, i'm off home now.

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:19, archived)

Hells Teeth!

Su Pollard is the best.

She will do her comedy face without prompting.

(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:24, archived)

Sue Pollard

spits

(Mattyboy, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:48, archived)

i'm with that

previous comment withdrawn as it was a tad extreme But she isn't funny or talented.

(

Darkedge, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:51, archived)

for he am the coolest

kids TV presenter of his age.
Even better than Brian Cant

(

Pootle, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:20, archived)

Heads, shoulders knees and

toast!

(what day is it?, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:07, archived)

lol

Heads...Shoulders..Knees and toast???

(

karatesausage, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:07, archived)

heads, shoulders, knees & toes (knees & toes)

(

Monkeyboy, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:07, archived)

(repost)

(christophaloph, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:47, archived)

The TV was down again

(

idlesod, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:04, archived)

In Romania...

...if the channel breaks down, they put porno on.

(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:06, archived)

woo

that's funny. Take me to your source image.

(

Mingus wonders where all the time went, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:53, archived)

ss division ahead

heil hitler

just a crap

(munky, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:03, archived)

its time for another

Stupid Quiz

Books
...1... ...2...
...3... ...4...
...5...

Films
...1... ...2...
...3... ...4... ...5...

Songs
...1... ...2...
...3... ...4...
...5...

TV shows
...1... ...2...
...3... ...4...
...5...

Apologies for the bad shopping but towards the end I couldn't be arsed, I'll give out the answers when I get home- good luck!

(Symball, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:02, archived)

So...

Ice Station Zebra
Taming of the Shrew
The Wasp Factory
Bridge-It-Joans-Diary
cHar-Lot's Web

(

xian, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:05, archived)

Films

Silence of the Lambs
Patch Adams
Duck Soup

(

xian, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:08, archived)

TV Shows

Blind Date
Knight-Ryder
Miami Vice

(

xian, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:10, archived)

Cool Hand Luke

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:13, archived)

Bridget Jones's Diary

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:09, archived)

Peeece de la Minde?

(

xian, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:11, archived)

Which one's Patch Adams??

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:13, archived)

None of them

I got bored and noticed that everyone was answering them so I thought I'd see if anyone was bothering to read the replies.

I almost put Baraka.

(

xian, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:15, archived)

gah

you had me terribly confused.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:17, archived)

Sorry babe

(You should see Baraka though)

(

xian, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:20, archived)

bloody fantasic film

should show it to aliens as advertising for planet earth (honest advertising too)

(

Darkedge, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:23, archived)

At least they'd piss off then

(

xian, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:26, archived)

Baraka

Ron Fricke is a cinematographical god.

(Divvy, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:19, archived)

Could not agree more

Well, I suppose I technicall could but on this occasion I choose not to. Well, not choose not to but just feel disinclined to.

(

xian, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:21, archived)

Books
1. ice station zebra
2. taming of the shrew
3. wasp factory
4. Bridget Jone's libary (thanks ppl)
5. Charlotte's web

films
1. silence of the lambs
4. Duck soup
5. Cool hand Luke

TV
1. Adam's family?
2. Miami Vice
3. Night Ryder
4. Blind Date

(

Darkedge, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:07, archived)

Don't forget...

Brideshead Revisited!

(

DancesWithWeezils, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:14, archived)

AHHH!!

thats what that one was..

(

Darkedge, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:15, archived)

um...

Great Big dogs Next To A Lake?

(Barkotron_the_Magnificent, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:09, archived)

Resevoir

Dogs...

(

DancesWithWeezils, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:10, archived)

ohhh

it's Cold Hand Luke

(Barkotron_the_Magnificent, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:10, archived)

Nice

(Cool Hand Luke?)

(

xian, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:11, archived)

RAGING

BULL!!!! (Films 2, that is...)

(

DancesWithWeezils, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:11, archived)

Up In Here

spazoutny.com/home.htm

(Spaz Out, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:58, archived)

DMXHTML

surely?

(

bananaman, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:00, archived)

Can I take this chance to say

Huh? You What?
thank you

(

Pootle, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:01, archived)

(

Darryn.R, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:50, archived)

giggled.

(

EvS, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:51, archived)

Fantastische

Furerby will learn to make hideously long speeches and will even ejeculate real jism.

(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:53, archived)

Green spunk..

and it's gotta dance around and make horrible noises.

(

EvS, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:56, archived)

Can you switch this one off?

Cuz I can't even get the batterys out of my friends one!!!

(Ekolb Modnar, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:58, archived)

turn it onto it's head.

it'll stop.
jeez

(

Darkedge, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:59, archived)

Are you a Furbyologist?

I had to take a hammer to mine.

Nasty little bastard kept waking up in the night and screeching.

(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:08, archived)

never read instructions

do you?

and stop your bloody jingoistic hatred of australians & australia will you? Ta.

(

Darkedge, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:17, archived)

OOoooooh!

Get you Lady Bubbles Rothermere!

And besides, I think I already told you what happened to me in Alice Springs.

(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:20, archived)

yeah

no reason to slag of ANY australian or the country every chance you get.
mnb was talking about the luck of being interviewed by an aussie DJ and you laid straight into them. Not fair on them is it? Yeah you have some shitty relatives, get over it.

(

Darkedge, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:25, archived)

Oh Darkedge.

If I can't slag Aussies off who CAN I slag off?

Are you working for the tourist board?

By the way, I am from Tasmania.

(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:26, archived)

inbred

sheep-fucker

;)

(Mattyboy, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:28, archived)

Do I know you?

Don't you own the welly shop?

(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:30, archived)

so you've visited australia once

as you said before and now you are from tasmania??
get your story straght.
Just slag em off when you've got a reason - not just for the hell of it.

(

Darkedge, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:48, archived)

Furherby...

will goosestep around your crummy apartment and will attempt to annex other toys which do not meet its exacting requirements.

(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:02, archived)

***THREADJACK***

Does anyone know where the rivals in love and war strips are, cos i missed todays and yesterdays

(

eh dad, wheres the stella? Parp + Honk = Wibble!, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:58, archived)

das

ist gut

(ivor_the_engine, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:51, archived)

The pictures I like best are the ones..

..that make me smile ilke a slow person. Woo to that!

(

sick_boy, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:53, archived)

Sehr gut mein herr!

Haben sie meine neue Voo und Yay!

(Waynster James Joyce is fucking my sister!, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:58, archived)

phoarr! you don't get many

young Des Lynams to the pound.

(

Pootle, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:02, archived)

hahaha

reminds me of this (it was a long time ago)

(

100% of Gibbon, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:05, archived)

Things going Squish on my Scanner

A Fresh Cream Coffee Meringue

wham - matrix style
previous squishings

(

Kamikazee Killmouse, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:47, archived)

oooh i really like that!

yay get to use my new woo yay houpla!

(joshwa ultra lurker, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:47, archived)

feel better

now?

(

Pootle, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:02, archived)

yes thanks,

except the woo yay houpla give me a headache a bit, as it's too quick. :)

(joshwa ultra lurker, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:07, archived)

Put your nob in it.

And take your top off!

(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:50, archived)

nah

already been done

(

Kamikazee Killmouse, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:51, archived)

Not by you tho'

;))))

(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:53, archived)

eeeeeeuuuuuuuurrrrrrrgggghhh!

eugh eurgh eugh eurgh

(

mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:53, archived)

Just had a look.

Don't put your whatsit in the thingy.

They all look horrid.

(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:55, archived)

wow!

i love pancake, it's really funny link

(joshwa ultra lurker, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:50, archived)

um...

that's not your scanner, is it? urgh.

(

bnt what, me worry?, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:51, archived)

it's actually

my scanner flipped upside down on top of my lightbox to get better illumination - i can now roll objects while they get squished - i take my job very seriously :oP

(

Kamikazee Killmouse, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:56, archived)

oooh that's very clever.

i love it :)

(joshwa ultra lurker, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:59, archived)

I fucking love this series

Terrapin, though?

(

Ptortoise, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:55, archived)

Woo

to your motherfuckin' Wizay

(cattleprod, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:56, archived)

man

you could've ET that. I COULD'VE ET THAT.

Coffee cream meringue...

*drools*

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:01, archived)

you could

lick it off the scanner
and be scanned doing it ;)

(

rogan, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:05, archived)

not

with the size of my tongue. It'd scare you all. :)

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:10, archived)

it's only

a little meringue.

(

Kamikazee Killmouse, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:15, archived)

Slightly Relevant Question

Did the famous shark vs. helicopter hoax originate on b3ta?

(

bnt what, me worry?, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:46, archived)

its a hoax?

(

hanrahan, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:46, archived)

nah

it won National Geographic's pic of the year, you know.

(

Kamikazee Killmouse, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:47, archived)

it's a real hoax

(

mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:51, archived)

nope sorry

the real hoax wasn't not faked

(

Kamikazee Killmouse, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:54, archived)

It's definitely

not a fake unreal hoax.
It's the realest unfaked-unhoaxed real thing on the interweb.

*FACT*

(Divvy, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:06, archived)

i was down the pub

with the shark at the time.
20 - odd people will swear blind they saw him and me playing pool at the time of the alleged helicopter incident.
case dismissed.

(

Kamikazee Killmouse, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:12, archived)

No it's real...

...it won an award.

(

sick_boy, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:48, archived)

yes

of course, the National Geographic could be lying to us, imperialist colonial aggressors that they are...

(

bnt what, me worry?, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:48, archived)

you never know

it could be one of those hush hush conspiracy coverup thingies... royal navy embarassment and all.

(

hanrahan, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:53, archived)

I'll catch yer shark for ye

Nah - it came from a film I saw once.

farewell and adieu, to you fair Spanish Ladies...

(

Erik Lonnröt, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:58, archived)

nope

it came here via people's inboxes, just like the glasscock.

(

Craymen, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:47, archived)

not at all

but people kept posting it here when we already knew it was a hoax so peopel would sarcastically ask 'is it real??????'
www.snopes.com/photos/shark.htm

(

Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:47, archived)

Nope

but we took it in as one of our own and hugged it and squeezed it and called it George.

(

chthonic, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:47, archived)

or Colin

www.b3ta.com/board/977566

(

Craymen, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:50, archived)

like in

bugs bunny
:)

(

mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:52, archived)

exackerly

(

chthonic, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:54, archived)

best

episode of Bugs Bunny ever

*FACT*

Daffy duck with the jumper stuck on his head looking like bugs bunny. Top laughter moment.

(Divvy, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:08, archived)

my granddad used to say that to me when i was little

he did the voice and everything.

(martian, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:56, archived)

if i get a dog, I'm gonna

call it George

(

mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:05, archived)

Hey Stereoroid

Sardini was formerly known as osadie. Things bright in Dublin?

(

Sardini, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:48, archived)

I've gotta go

See you around.

(

Sardini, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:50, archived)

things

are murky in Dublin. We have Weather here, y'know.
no I'm not Irish, I only work here

(

bnt what, me worry?, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:55, archived)

whotchoo doin in dublin?

see above

(

WhoElse I'm what Willis was talking about, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:09, archived)

Once and for all:

www.snopes.com/photos/shark.asp

(

WhoElse I'm what Willis was talking about, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:53, archived)

I know it's a hoax...

... I was asking if it started here.

(

bnt what, me worry?, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:57, archived)

Whoops sorry man

ich bin ein stoopithead

to the best of my knowledge no, but yeah I know what you mean, you sort of expect a lot of shoppery to come from here.

Especially when you get mails like how to catch a catburglar
(nohands at gunpoint)

(

WhoElse I'm what Willis was talking about, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:08, archived)

this guy's so crap, he's a....................................................

(

Dill, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:41, archived)

let me see that gong...

baby, that gong gong gong gong gong.

(

Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:43, archived)

terrible gongsman?

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:43, archived)

not quite

(

Dill, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:44, archived)

is he

trying to hit a small swarm of bees with his stick thing?

(

Spoon, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:46, archived)

for me

thats the winner

(

youknowyouloveit, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:46, archived)

Likey

(

moonbadger Doesn't judge a fish by its ability to climb trees, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:44, archived)

lost his balls?

(

sick_boy, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:44, archived)

ballbreaker?

uh... hmmm. ok we give up.

(

Sardini, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:46, archived)

think about all those old movies

and you're nearly there,
a freshly squeezed lemming for the winner

(

Dill, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:47, archived)

Rank incompetance?

(

sick_boy, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:50, archived)

Nice.

Trivia: The original Rank man was a gent by the namne of Bombadier Billy Wells. He was also th efirst person to import Red Stripe to the UK. His grandson was Guitarist in the 80's London punk combo 'Snuff'.

(

Your Mum, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:47, archived)

egg sell ant

he's a Rank amatuer
sick boy's closest, I'm squeezing the lemming now, how do you want it

(

Dill, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:51, archived)

with tabasco....

...and a twist of lemon please.

(

sick_boy, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:54, archived)

blimey

i saw snuff once, at the pioneer club in st albans in about 1988. someone stagedived and everybody in the crowd parted, leaving him to plummet floorwards. Made a very satisfying noise, if I remember correctly.

(

100% of Gibbon, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:54, archived)

Stuff are a top act

the first proper gig I went to was a Snuff gig, and I had the shit slammed out of me, by stage diving skin heads.
It seemed great at the time.

(

Pootle, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:58, archived)

ick

having the shit slammed out you by stagediving skinheads? eep.

(

100% of Gibbon, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:59, archived)

I was just 15 it seemed the grown up thing to do.

But they always had the decency to pick you up, so they could slam into you again.
It was friendly like that.

(

Pootle, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 18:07, archived)

He was also

Heavyweight Champion from 1911 to 1919 and and Olympiad

(

xian, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:58, archived)

rank

amatuer?

(

rogan, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:51, archived)

another lemming for that man

you posted as I awarded sick boy the lemming

(

Dill, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:52, archived)

Did this years ago, thought it was lost, just found it again

so I thought I'd post it. Not that it's any good, I'm just happy to have found it again.

(

dr_fonz, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:35, archived)

FACT

that is the best donkey on the internet

(

Obz Click, ting, stamps, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:38, archived)

I always feel a bit sorry for the poor fucker.

That anim on the other hand is a stonker.

(

Dr Phil Kitten, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:40, archived)

Although he does adopt the position...

...I do not think he is in fact fucking....;o)

(

sick_boy, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:43, archived)

he could be

getting buggered by the cart.

that anim is fantastic btw

(

Spoon, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:45, archived)

Hurrah for the

sad hanging donkey!

(

sick_boy, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:40, archived)

Right that does it

I'm outta here - nighty-night all!

(

Ijon Tichy, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:40, archived)

I'll join you

adios folks

(

dr_fonz, Thu 3 Apr 2003, 17:41, archived)

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