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This is a link post Alien: MONDAY NSFW
Proper animation from that guy who made the TIE Fighter anime back in the day. NSFW due to some bad language.

The best Alien film in 38 years.
(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 23:31, , Reply)
This is a normal post I tried to watch
but the sloppy dialogue made me switch off before I saw a single alien
(, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 16:08, , Reply)
This is a normal post Garbage.

(, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 18:51, , Reply)
This is a link post Crowdstrike is EU's fault
Actually, some real truth in this. CrowdStrike uses kernel device drivers as do all AV, and that s/w is indeed certified by MS.

However, CrowdStrike downloads code snippets to run inside this driver which are NOT certified and tested by MS.

This means that CrowdStrike can release anything they like right into your kernel level without any checks at any time.

What could go wrong!

Apple refuse to allow 3rd party devs access to their low level api so it's a) much harder to fuck things up b) they can charge you what they like cos no competition
(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 7:23, , Reply)
This is a normal post
no it bloody isn't. That's just Microsoft wriggling under the pressure and lashing out at the one thing they really hate - regulators.
(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 9:31, , Reply)
This is a normal post it's an interesting take
the argument, which MS didn't make themselves directly, is essentially saying they shouldn't let anyone other than microsoft make mistakes (and there has been a few over the years including Win updates that had to be rolled back)
Firms chose to install the falcon sensor software, they could have chosen MS products only. Caveat emptor. If you put McAfee on your PC don't complain when it's riddled with spyware. The eu never mandated anyone install falcon sensor. I don't think a firm releasing a bad update is a reason to wind back anti-monopoly laws on the Windows OS, it's a reason not to give them your business
(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 10:18, , Reply)
This is a normal post pretty much
How do you enable rapid updating of kernel level s/w without opening the door to this kinda stuff
(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 11:08, , Reply)
This is a normal post I take your point, kernel errors tend to pretty show-stopping
but just three days ago they announced half of all australians medical data and IDs have been leaked to the darkweb, because some db server of some shitty little med cyber firm wasnt secure, so there's plenty of other things that can go wrong. We should all go back to paper
(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 12:43, , Reply)
This is a normal post "anything they like right into your kernel" >.<

(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 13:59, , Reply)
This is a normal post It’s inadequate testing before release by Crowdstrike is what it is
Nothing to do with the EU.
(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 18:33, , Reply)
This is a normal post Imagine it's mostly automated
The driver conflicts probably not tested properly or test cases were inadequate. Similar to what Cloudflare did some time ago
(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 19:38, , Reply)
This is a normal post this, emphatically

(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 22:54, , Reply)
This is a normal post And inadequate tests on isolated networks by cheapskate cloud operators
If you're handling that many other businesses' data, the least you could do is have a teensy little network of your own on the side for test roll-outs of updates, before you let one through that fuds over every single one of your customers.
(, Thu 25 Jul 2024, 11:08, , Reply)
This is a normal post Turns out it's not the EU or Crowdstrike
It's black people. At least according to Elmo
qz.com/elon-musk-crowdstrike-internet-outage-dei-diversity-1851599596
(, Tue 23 Jul 2024, 2:18, , Reply)
This is a normal post Ex-Microsoft developer explains all:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAzEJxOo1ts
(, Tue 23 Jul 2024, 9:01, , Reply)
This is a normal post He’s the taskman bloke isn’t he?
Good explanation. I’d heard it was a config file and not a driver.
Not sure what he was getting at with the Pink Screen of Death though. When my Mac last had a panic it was gray.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2024, 11:06, , Reply)
This is a normal post
"When my Mac last had a panic it was gay."
(, Tue 23 Jul 2024, 22:01, , Reply)
This is a normal post Is that why the screen is pink then?

(, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 20:26, , Reply)
This is a normal post you can understand why they ultimately went with Clarissa

(, Tue 23 Jul 2024, 16:02, , Reply)
This is a link post Well then....
Now who's gonna run against the Tango?

US President Joe Biden's statement in full


(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 21:22, , Reply)
This is a normal post Harris seems to be the shoo-in
I like Pete Buttigieg for VP myself. He seems sharp and has a good head on his shoulders. Black woman + gay man might be a hard sell though, but being a veteran might help. Yanks do seem to fetishise their military.
(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 21:40, , Reply)
This is a normal post
Pete Buttplug?
(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 21:53, , Reply)
This is a normal post ButtGag?

(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 8:43, , Reply)
This is a normal post Butaneghee

(, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 9:30, , Reply)
This is a normal post I suspect it'll be largely academic.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, a black woman is less popular with American voters than a white, senile octogenarian. Which makes her even less likely to beat Trump than Biden was at last count.
Choosing an openly gay man as her running mate would take her out of the game completely. It wouldn't win her any votes, but it would likely lose her a significant amount.
(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 22:07, , Reply)
This is a normal post
I dare say a lot of the women voters might be prepared to put aside their racism if the other side push their no abortion, no divorce, no contraception shtick, but there are always a few nutters and God-botherers who honestly believe they ought to be treated as chattel. Time will tell.

VP Pete is pretty much a non-starter, which is a shame but there you go. At least he can carry on playing with his 1:1 scale train set if the Dems do win again.

It remains to be seen if Trump will be able to change his campaign; he’s been banging on about Biden for so long I suspect he’ll start making similar gaffes when he forgets who he’s actually campaigning against. I’ve no doubt whatsoever that there will be oodles of casual misogyny in what passes for his speeches, though of course there will be plenty of voters for whom this is a positive thing.

It’ll all come down to persuading a few tens of thousands of swing voters in a handful of states. Again.
(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 22:33, , Reply)
This is a normal post I think there's a bit more to it than the identity/race/gender/sexual orientation of the party leaders
I reckon there's a lot of fear among middle class and working class americans. Fear about their prosperity, jobs, climate change, housing, AI, cost of living etc. They went with Biden at the last election mostly because he seemed to offer a safer alternative. Trump's modus opendi is to stoke those fears while making overblown claims that he'll fix everything.
As you said, it's about reassuring those crucial swing voters that they're going to be better off, or at least not worse off. So I don't think it's as much about identity or character or even trumps crimes, it's about finding someone articulate enough to convince those fearful swing voters, something Biden was no longer capable of. To focus alone on the fact that trump's an asshole who does asshole things is a mistake, as would playing the identity 'first woman president' thing as their main angle, it didn't cut through enough with Hilary.
IMHO they should be stoking fears of the chaos Trump brings, reminding people of the chaos of his first term as their main focus. A million dead, record debt, rising unemployment, culminating in an attack on the whitehouse, while asking them "do you want to go through that again, do you want to risk your job?" That way even his 'miracle' assassination miss plays into that narrative, it's just more chaos. At least some of the downturn was just bad luck to be president during covid, but politics is a dirty game.
I think Buttgieg is the most articulate of the contenders, and to me that outweighs whatever negative his sexual orientation might bring for the VP pick, they're not trying to win over maga christian conservatives, but worried working people in swing states. Whether they will pick him or not is another matter, as a party they have plenty of dysfunction of their own. That's my 2p
(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 1:46, , Reply)
This is a normal post That's all well and good but...
THREE WORD CHANT!
THREE WORD CHANT!
THREE WORD CHANT!

(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 3:39, , Reply)
This is a normal post Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter

(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 4:05, , Reply)
This is a normal post Issue Nº 2:
BAN FAKE TAN!
(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 4:49, , Reply)
This is a normal post TAY LOR SWIFT!
In 2028.
(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 5:40, , Reply)
This is a normal post FORM OR EARS?

(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 8:00, , Reply)
This is a normal post CANDLES!!

(, Tue 23 Jul 2024, 11:53, , Reply)
This is a normal post I prefer your 3 word chant
to the many words you replied to. I like a good 3 word chant more than having to think about something.
(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 11:14, , Reply)
This is a normal post A thoughtful analysis
Which is why Buttgieg won't work, sadly most people vote with their feelings which is how we got Trumpf in the first place. I'm guessing Trumpf would be shouting 'Jesus hates gays' by the end of the week.
From where I am the US looks pretty theocratic, which would be weaponised by Trumpf.
(, Tue 23 Jul 2024, 11:51, , Reply)
This is a normal post Perhaps the democrats have been reading my links posts
which is a worry. her first stump speech and it's "freedom or chaos", though they should try and tie that chaos to losing your job in clear messaging if they want to follow the full cumquat program™.
www.afr.com/world/north-america/choice-between-freedom-and-chaos-harris-rallies-swing-state-crowd-20240724-p5jw23
I don't know, you're probably right about buttgeig, though I think the average american is actually a bit less concerned about identity, race and sex orientation (apart from trannies) than people tend to assume.
(, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 4:55, , Reply)
This is a normal post
It'll be Harris, but not before the Dems eat themselves in rounds of bitter infighting.
(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 9:16, , Reply)
This is a normal post I was suprised they even got their shit together enough to get Biden to quit
so who knows
(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 14:48, , Reply)
This is a normal post Monica Lewinsky
She's likeable and a good speaker, it would get the Clintons hater vote back and be a brilliant narrative arc.
(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 21:47, , Reply)
This is a normal post Stormy Daniels would be a larf.

(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 22:34, , Reply)
This is a normal post What about Boris?
Born in America, so I assume he could stand. He's probably a centrist by American standards. The debates would be the ultimate cunt-off.
(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 22:42, , Reply)
This is a normal post I think there’s a residency requirement too. Seven years maybe, or that could just be senators.
Anyway, randomly misquoting Latin would probably have the opposite effect over there and he’d have to go back to Alexander, otherwise most of them would think he’s a dirty commie.
(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 22:52, , Reply)
This is a normal post Jacob Rees Mogg!!!

(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 22:55, , Reply)
This is a normal post he is at a loose end at the moment

(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 2:21, , Reply)
This is a normal post I wonder how his schtick would play in the states?
Boris's talent to be self-deprecating to shrug off attacks would be something the yanks hadn't encountered before, and I reckon Trump might struggle with it in debates.
(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 2:21, , Reply)
This is a normal post Wish I could see Biden's face next week when he hears that he's stepping down.

(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 21:57, , Reply)
This is a normal post A couple of years ago, not for the first time, I said Biden had senile dementia. Naturally cumtwat popped up to say I was spouting alt right conspiracy theories, and he knew far, far better:
b3ta.com/links/1581079
(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 22:35, , Reply)
This is a normal post Vindicated at last.

(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 22:57, , Reply)
This is a normal post Haha, still thinking about me
Just remember to wear the retainer, tooth grinding can cause lasting damage
(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 22:58, , Reply)
This is a normal post I’m half surprised you didn’t launch a renewed defence of your bullshit and lies.

(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 23:06, , Reply)
This is a normal post E Jean Carrol

(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 22:47, , Reply)
This is a normal post Hunter Biden, this is his chance to finally make his dad proud.
That is if his dad remembers who he is
(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 23:35, , Reply)
This is a normal post Give Hunter some credit, he did pull off an expert bit of legal trolling the other day.

(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 0:00, , Reply)
This is a normal post So, Trump it is then
Oh well.

Americans find that the only thing more unacceptable than a black president is a woman president. The fact that she is foreign(ish) and a woman will render her unacceptable to merkins
(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 6:12, , Reply)
This is a normal post The poll I saw said
Michelle Obama is polling higher than the American Alan Sugar. Not that she's shown any signs of wanting to run.
(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 9:27, , Reply)
This is a normal post pathetically grateful for any positivity

(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 22:47, , Reply)
This is a normal post I'm not sure about kamala
I think she leaned into the being right on and woke a bit much to win over floating voters who might be flirting with trump. And she's tainted by biden.
Knowing nothing about any of these candidates i can tell you with absolutely certainty they need the guy on the left:
www.bbc.com/news/articles/c80ekdwk9zro
(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 8:23, , Reply)
This is a normal post "...flirting with Trump"
*boaks*
(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 8:35, , Reply)
This is a normal post Being "tainted by Biden"
Isn't very appealing either
(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 13:56, , Reply)
This is a normal post Her California track record is damning. I've forgotten most of it, and am struggling to find it online. Here's a portion-
1. Threw poor single mothers in SF in jail over truancy issues as DA of SF and laughed about it to major donors.
2. Helped the SF Archdiocese suppress evidence of child rape and helped them shift offenders around the country by slow rolling cases.
3. Sold CA out as AG of California during the national settlement with the banks over the 2008 crash and then lied about that.
(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 19:39, , Reply)
This is a normal post This really has a whiff of the Savile smear the tories tried to use against Starmer with very little success

(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 21:37, , Reply)
This is a normal post I used to come to b3ta to get away from politics. I should know better.

(, Tue 23 Jul 2024, 1:21, , Reply)
This is a normal post Savile smear the Tories
Turtle power!
(, Tue 23 Jul 2024, 10:06, , Reply)
This is a normal post What does Prufrock think?
I hear he's good at predicting things but he doesn't like to mention it.
(, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 18:47, , Reply)
This is a normal post Jimmy Carter

(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 12:16, , Reply)
This is a normal post I saw a clip of Carter earlier today.
A young girl asks him what she should do if she wants to be president when she’s older. His reply is that she should run for VP under a man and wait for him to die, after which America will probably never vote for a male president again.
(, Wed 24 Jul 2024, 10:43, , Reply)
This is a link post Pretty much Cloudstrike
Yes I know there are other actual songs about it already. This one pretty much fits without much change.
(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 1:58, , Reply)
This is a link post Giggled hard at this channel.

(, Sat 20 Jul 2024, 23:33, , Reply)
This is a normal post Sorry, but I'm unable to extract any joy whatsoever from AI generated 'content'.

(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 7:44, , Reply)
This is a normal post I know, like the way people use photoshop instead of oil paints on canvas.
I was laughing at the packaging of a ludicrous concept as 50s/60s records. The fact 'AI' was used to achieve it doesn't matter to me, it's not meant to be Art.
(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 19:41, , Reply)
This is a normal post Photoshop vs Oil on Canvas isn't really a valid comparison.
Most oil painters likely couldn't reproduce their work to a similar standard on Photoshop, and most Photoshop experts likely couldn't paint an Oil on canvas to the same standard as their usual digital output. The media is vastly different, even if the artistic vision is not.

A better comparison would be 'like the way people give Dall-E a number of prompts in order to create a procedurally generated image before taking all credit for the work as their own because they came up with the specific prompts instead of painting it themselves'.

I quite liked the concept, too. But as soon as it became blatantly obvious that the music and vocals have been scraped from any number of legitimate musical artists who will never get credit nor see a peanut from their IP being used this way, whilst these 'content creators' profit from their frankly minimal input, I just couldn't appreciate it.

We're quickly reaching a point with this crowdsourced neural network bollocks (and it's developing at such an exponential rate) that in a few months/years, it's going to be practically impossible to differentiate between genuine music/art/literature and procedurally generated bollocks, and the market will be so saturated with it that the majority probably won't even care or notice. The artists being affected by it most likely will, though. Christ, there are already some twunts on here unironically posting AI bollocks and calling it their own work.

I'm all for using NN/AI to make jobs easier. Photoshop has some great tools that leverage NN/NPU workloads, but there's a big creative difference between 'make me this' and 'help make this easier/quicker for me'.

AI generated content is shit for cunts.
(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 20:39, , Reply)
This is a normal post In this case they are not passing off the result as real music/artwork.
That is a big problem, I agree.
However, this is an absurd gag using little bits of (somewhat out of copyright?) music and artwork, not unlike 'shopping funny pictures from other people's photographs for social media. I doubt many people will be buying the content (other than for 'clicks') as music.
(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 22:54, , Reply)
This is a normal post Point taken.
I suppose I'm just not keen on it being used this way because it only helps to make it better at mimicking the real thing, which can only be bad.
(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 5:38, , Reply)
This is a normal post It's a perfect comparison
Photoshop, an AI audio tool, or paying for session musicians and a session singer to sit in a studio for days. They are all tools to realise the idea you have in your head and reduce or eliminate the direct work you need to do.

It just happens that this idea was a silly 1950's song about your arms being stuck behind you inspired by an image on a record from the time. A person had an idea and used whatever tool they could to make their idea happen.

The core concept to examine is : would it have been more valid if they said to a bunch of musicians and a singer "Make me this" without personally having anything to do with actually making the music? Either way, all they did was describe what they want and say "make me this". Why do you prefer one over the other just because some wage slaves made it?

And if the tools do become indistinguishable from human created content (or surpass it), why should that bother you anyway? Do you still walk everywhere? Or do you use the latest tool, being a car/plane/bus? Why does this one tool bother you so, when you use a million other tools that have removed the need for a human to do a thing?
(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 9:06, , Reply)
This is a normal post I was glad to see the Sticky Sweethearts wrote a follow up song to "I glued my balls to my butthole again"
youtu.be/xyUv9RXeLgg?si=q-3dpyqUgRBdRxRN
(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 8:40, , Reply)
This is a normal post I mean it could happen to anyone.
{:-D
(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 19:33, , Reply)
This is a link post How to make a Bananaman outfit for your Action Man
Do get an adult to help.
(, Sat 20 Jul 2024, 21:49, , Reply)
This is a normal post
I want to believe that out there somewhere, there is a bananaman fetishist.
(, Sat 20 Jul 2024, 23:31, , Reply)
This is a normal post
That grape costume could very well be converted to a tit costume.
Jussayin
(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 0:21, , Reply)
This is a link post I thought he was immortal
RIP Ray


x.com


(, Sat 20 Jul 2024, 21:49, , Reply)
This is a normal post Wow, didn't know that.
That ability to stay calm maps well onto snooker performance.
(, Sat 20 Jul 2024, 23:27, , Reply)
This is a normal post Shame, a great and one of the few people left who could remember when Willie Thorne had a full head of hair

(, Sat 20 Jul 2024, 23:40, , Reply)
This is a normal post he does look a bit like he's normally buried in coffins

(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 4:23, , Reply)
This is a normal post Something of the night about him?

(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 18:37, , Reply)
This is a normal post Vincent Price at least

(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 18:55, , Reply)
This is a normal post Its a bow-tie not a bat
clearly his Eddie Munster period
(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 20:13, , Reply)
This is a link post Grandma! I made this!
youtube.com/watch?v=QeHhwmHiSf8
(, Sat 20 Jul 2024, 14:10, , Reply)
This is a normal post The incredibly helpful jonbob helped me embed this
Here's jonbob's advice from the now deleted post:

Here’s how you do it:
youtube.com/shorts/QeHhwmHiSf8?si=TSpybnkpKxeb64xk

Swap shorts/ with watch?v=
Delete the second ? and everything after it. The is = share identifier so tracking (This info was supplied by Happosai - thanks Happosai)

youtube.com/watch?v=QeHhwmHiSf8

Normally b3tacode wouldn’t let you post the same link twice but apparently it doesn’t recognise that the shorts link is for the same video so it will work.

b3tacode didn’t used to handle the youtu.be links correctly but it does now, apart from the auto preview wierdness, so maybe shorts will get fixed in time.

Thank you jonbob, it was generous of you to help : )
(, Sat 20 Jul 2024, 14:12, , Reply)
This is a normal post よかった

(, Sat 20 Jul 2024, 14:27, , Reply)
This is a normal post よかたですね!
ありがとう ジョンボブ
(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 22:23, , Reply)
This is a link post Touching Things is Fun (The WInky Song) - 20th Anniversary Special NSFW I made this!
Long time B3TAn, long time creator of weird animations and songs.

Where has the time gone !?!

20 years of this weird and wonderful song (even if I do say so myself) - join me in celebrating 2 decades with this anniversary release.
(, Sat 20 Jul 2024, 11:16, , Reply)
This is a link post Beetles taking flight

(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 21:27, , Reply)
This is a normal post lovely :)

(, Sat 20 Jul 2024, 5:56, , Reply)
This is a normal post Fair do,
But the Ze Frank nature videos are lightyears above...
(, Sat 20 Jul 2024, 6:27, , Reply)
This is a normal post out of my reach then

(, Sat 20 Jul 2024, 8:14, , Reply)
This is a normal post I'm not so sure. This is different to Ze Frank so hard to compare.

(, Sat 20 Jul 2024, 16:28, , Reply)
This is a normal post I’m not sure I’d want to see the backwards hippo in slow motion.

(, Sat 20 Jul 2024, 18:07, , Reply)
This is a link post Let's take a break from all the seriousness in life
and watch some Americans celebrating the 4th of July in a fantastically American manner. By sending loads of cars off a cliff edge.
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 17:28, , Reply)
This is a normal post Never happen here
elf and safety bods would have a seizure.

I also enjoyed that probably more than I should have.
(, Sat 20 Jul 2024, 11:55, , Reply)
This is a normal post Tell me about it (both counts)
Some of the parts of the cars were really close to the audience, it would get shut down before it started.

And mindless as it is, there is something fascinating about watching it. They do it every year, it seems.
(, Sat 20 Jul 2024, 19:01, , Reply)
This is a normal post To each his own, but cheese rolling just seems more wholesome somehow.

(, Sat 20 Jul 2024, 19:22, , Reply)
This is a normal post Yes but no but yes but...
A cheese hurtling off a cliff may appeal but there is something almost rewarding seeing rednecks sitting too close to what would be certain death should one of those vehicles suddenly get a burst of speed and go just that little bit faster over the edge and suddenly become more aerodynamic than it was thought...

I also noted the organiser saying they were running out of room due to the erosion of the river banks so it may be a moot point (or they will just go find somewhere else to do it)
(, Sun 21 Jul 2024, 0:52, , Reply)
This is a link post DRASS - Reaperman I made this!

(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 15:45, , Reply)
This is a normal post Adam Curtis on steroids
Love it
(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 16:30, , Reply)
This is a normal post excellent work
thanks for that

(and for viq & i, which is terribly reasonable)
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 6:46, , Reply)
This is a normal post Shake up weeple
Nicely done
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 16:40, , Reply)
This is a link post Space Echo Plugin

(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 14:25, , Reply)
This is a link post I, for one, can't think of a more worthy cause.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 14:14, , Reply)
This is a normal post I can.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 14:15, , Reply)
This is a normal post it's like Captain Sir Tom all over again

(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 14:23, , Reply)
This is a normal post Indeed. It’s high time the perils of sponsored walks are highlighted.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 14:31, , Reply)
This is a normal post Too soon
Edit LOL!
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 14:57, , Reply)
This is a normal post Hey,
59 grand doesn't go far these days, I'm telling you.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 14:37, , Reply)
This is a normal post Not when you consider the catering costs.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 22:38, , Reply)
This is a normal post Of course, the main cost
will be the giant rocket
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 10:43, , Reply)
This is a normal post Complete with memorial spa in the back garden?
£59k might get you a hot tub I suppose.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 18:33, , Reply)
This is a normal post If they get to £500k,
they'll be able to pay for a witch doctor to bring him back to life.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 15:38, , Reply)
This is a normal post Bury him with a machete.
It’s what he would have wanted.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 21:59, , Reply)
This is a normal post
Probably easier to use a shovel.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 23:56, , Reply)
This is a normal post I would have thought that a bottle of water would be more appropriate.

(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 10:05, , Reply)
This is a normal post There are some touching tributes coming through on social media.

(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 11:24, , Reply)
This is a normal post 4 EVA IN R HARTS

(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 17:57, , Reply)
This is a normal post "technically it was community service"
fucking lol
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 18:15, , Reply)
This is a normal post HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA

(, Sat 20 Jul 2024, 10:54, , Reply)
This is a normal post It was fascinating how quickly
public attitude changed when his Mr Stabby past was discovered.
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 16:19, , Reply)
This is a normal post Getting my news from b3ta again, first I've heard of it.
Not that it surprises me, like.
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 18:23, , Reply)
This is a normal post I wonder how many travel insurance policies
you could buy with that.
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 10:59, , Reply)
This is a link post Oh, FFS.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 12:29, , Reply)
This is a normal post This new religion is rubbish.
If an example of 'sheeple' was ever required...
(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 12:57, , Reply)
This is a normal post I think we are doomed

(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 14:20, , Reply)
This is a normal post He has given us a sign
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PS42gDNvMAQ
(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 14:25, , Reply)
This is a normal post That MAGA MyPillow guy
has really missed a branding opportunity.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 14:37, , Reply)
This is a normal post We're not a very bright species.
Purple bandaids. And I seem to recall Bush era ear protectors. It's no wonder so few see Robert Kennedy as the brilliant man he is, with a few faults.
My fear is what the dipshits in power will do once Trump wins. Technically, he is a felon. What a mess.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 18:48, , Reply)
This is a normal post US at war with Iran within the first 12 months.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 18:51, , Reply)
This is a normal post Civil War 2.0

(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 21:06, , Reply)
This is a normal post I just remembered this silly thing-
www.banderasnews.com/howto/bullshit.htm
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 15:08, , Reply)
This is a normal post It's so they don't have to listen to him.

(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 11:02, , Reply)
This is a link post Peurile
but funny
(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 10:07, , Reply)
This is a normal post you've got your moment Jane, I hope it makes you very happy

(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 13:10, , Reply)
This is a link post Taylor Swift's Favourite London DIY store I made this!
Guessing a lot of you are fellow Taylor Swift fans...
(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 9:15, , Reply)
This is a normal post Hey!
Didn’t this guy take us on a holiday in our bathrooms during the lockdowns? If so, I still owe him a beer in australia.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 17:02, , Reply)
This is a normal post ha ha
I still remember your offer. And intend to take you up on it before I die.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 17:16, , Reply)
This is a normal post Fine
I’ll try and come over there then. I don’t want to drag you away from your heady ‘Hollywood’ lifestyle of content creation and the endless roundabout of talk shows and tv interviews about your content. First pint’s on me :)
(, Mon 22 Jul 2024, 18:10, , Reply)
This is a normal post
I told you so:
“Grindr has seen a surge of users in Milwaukee, WI, during the Republican National Convention, so much so that an executive of the gay dating app has said the RNC is ‘basically Grindr’s Super Bowl’.”
(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 6:00, , Reply)
This is a normal post Super Bowel !
Rimshoit
(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 6:44, , Reply)
This is a normal post Make Anuses Gape Again

(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 6:51, , Reply)
This is a normal post
Make
America
First
In
AI

(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 7:46, , Reply)
This is a normal post Well, say what you like about Donald.
But he'll be a lot more exciting than Biden.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 12:33, , Reply)
This is a normal post Would rather have competent than exciting TBH

(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 20:48, , Reply)
This is a normal post Isn’t the basis of this derision homophobia?

(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 10:11, , Reply)
This is a normal post Very much so.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 12:29, , Reply)
This is a normal post Gay

(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 13:51, , Reply)
This is a normal post it's the irony that republican have been turning against gay rights and embracing the anti-gay christian right
www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2024/06/24/gops-sudden-turn-away-gay-rights-acceptance/
and then going out and fucking gay prozzers
(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 14:03, , Reply)
This is a normal post Still, shaming those same people for being gay themselves seems massively counterproductive, no?
They might be hypocrites, but I'd argue that these alleged LGBT 'allies' are hypocrites too for taking the 'Haha, you're gay' route.

Hardly surprising, though. The Onion has gone down the shitter since embracing the shortform social media format. Likely quite difficult to come up with fresh satire when the real world is beating you to the punch every time i.e. the ear bandages link up there ⬆️
(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 14:25, , Reply)
This is a normal post Next you’ll be claiming that some trans people are trans because they can’t come to terms with the fact they’re gay.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 14:33, , Reply)
This is a normal post Not nearly as many as have killed themselves, I'll bet.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 14:37, , Reply)
This is a normal post That genocide is the fault of JK Rowling.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 14:56, , Reply)
This is a normal post shaming?
you're really tying yourselves in knots
speaking of enjoyable hypocrisy, I do like it how people who spend half their time whining about wokeness and reading all those spectator articles that are variations on the "PC gone mad" will bleat on about how offensive something is if ever given a sniff of an angle. It's almost like their values are entirely transactional.
(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 15:36, , Reply)
This is a normal post Your values are entirely transactional.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 16:36, , Reply)
This is a normal post Nah, he’s just a tribalist spouting whatever brand new ideology is in fashion. There are no values, the transaction never amounts to anything more than ‘me good, you evil’.

(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 21:24, , Reply)
This is a normal post whatever
perhaps there'll be a moment of self reflection when you're reading your next article about mad woke uni students cancelling someone or similar
"What about someone who goes onto a british humour site and takes offence on behalf of closeted anti-gay republicans about someone posting a link to a satirical news clip about them going to gay prostitutes?"
I mean, maybe I've got you pegged wrong, no pun intended, and you care deeply about closeted republicans trying to wind back gay rights, and want to protect them from the shame of their hypocrisy being satirised should they be reading links. Bravo for standing up against jokes on B3ta.
But it kinda seems pretty PC and woke to me
(, Thu 18 Jul 2024, 23:35, , Reply)
This is a normal post I didn’t take any offence, I was just analysing a joke. I’m sorry that got your knickers in a twist, clutching your pearls because of fantasy that gay rights are in peril.
Next you’ll be bleating that democracy is in danger of extinction.
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 0:02, , Reply)
This is a normal post haha
so the PC pretending to care about homophobia didn't work, so now it's "pearl clutching for gay rights" in the space of one thread
like I said, transactional values.
someone who was genuinely concerned about how some onion satire might be homophobic would be much more concerned about a christain-right dominated movement with an anti-gay agenda. We could argue about how much they're likely to do if they come to power, but given how they've already overturned abortion rights I'd hardly dismiss it as fantasy
Is it wokeness over petty bullshit that really bothers the right, because they certainly like having their turn at it? I don't mean to single you out, you're probably thinking no more deeply than, "they're attacking republicans, I've got to respond" a bit like how you felt the need to set the record straight when someone made a joke about trump not caring about the people who were shot. I'm just using it to illustrate a broader hypocrisy I find amusing
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 3:43, , Reply)
This is a normal post *cough* whataboutism *cough*
I don't give a fuck about Republicans. I do give a fuck about people's sexual orientation being used against them.
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 5:29, , Reply)
This is a normal post are you two interchangable? do you finish each other's sentences at dinner parties?
What's the difference between a priest and acne? Acne doesn't come onto to you face until you're 13
While you could interpret this joke as using someone sexual orientation against them, the essence is the shared knowledge that priests sexually abuse young boys.
Likewise the onion satire could be interpreted as an attack on sexual orientation, but it really only works if the target is both closeted, and closeted because they have a party that is increasingly anti gay fundamentalist. It's the hypocrisy that's funny. It relies on its audience being sophisticated enough to understand that.
The rest wasn't aimed at you, I've little idea if you care so much about homophobia that you can't stand humour that even references gay sex , but I'm certain prufrock doesn't.
My reply to you where I reference "people who spend half their time whining about wokeness" was just bait to flush that hypocrisy out of him. It's not much sport, but the board's a little slow.
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 9:51, , Reply)
This is a normal post 'While you could interpret this joke as using someone sexual orientation against them, the essence is the shared knowledge that priests sexually abuse young boys.'
You would only interpret it that way if you believed there was some correlation between homosexuality and child sexual abuse.

Most normal people would realise that these priests are paedophiles and that their sexual orientation has fuck all to do with their choice of victim.
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 10:32, , Reply)
This is a normal post "Most normal people would realise that these priests are paedophiles and that their sexual orientation has fuck all to do with their choice of victim"
I'd say about 99% of priest reported paedophilia is a male abusing a boy, so there is clearly very strong correlation in that pesky thing called reality, and to say the priests have no sexual orientation in their choice of victim is kind of idiotic, rather than what "normal people would realise".
I think what you meant to say, if you were a bit less confused, is that being gay doesn't make you any more likely to be paedophile, which I'd agree with. It's got fuck all to do with with the joke, mind, which doesnt mention gender.
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 13:27, , Reply)
This is a normal post 'I'd say about 99% of priest reported paedophilia is a male abusing a boy, so there is clearly very strong correlation in that pesky thing called reality'
You're really digging yourself into a corner here. I suggest you go and re-educate yourself.

zeroabuseproject.org/victim-assistance/jwrc/keep-kids-safe/sexuality-of-offenders/

I'm not sure the re-education will do anything to cure your internalised homophobia, though...
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 14:14, , Reply)
This is a normal post yeah that pretty old and now discredited, as is a lot of 20th century psychiatry,
but respect for referring to research, so I'll do you the respect of a decent answer
Here's a more modern meta-analysis of the research jaapl.org/content/48/2/146
"Perhaps the most comprehensive review of the evidence potentially in favor of the idea that pedophilia is an orientation is embedded in a fifty-page treatise on the subject of “sexual orientation.” These authors define sexual orientation as “attraction to members of the same sex, both sexes, or the other sex”

I think the issue in the past was that many forensic psychiatrists defined homosexuality as a pathology in itself, with the obvious difference to the pathology of paedophiles in age preference. Therefore a gay is not a paedo, as paedo is its own sexual orientation. (It was a bit like saying wayne rooney fucking grannies isn't heterosexual because he has a preference for old people). We now no longer consider homosexuality a pathology, nor do modern psychiatrists and the DSM5 consider paedophilia a sexual orientation of its own (though a few still do). Sexual orientation and gender preference in the normal sense is now considered a relevant clinical feature of paedophilia in modern psychiatry.
You can argue about precise definitions, but personally I think if you get aroused getting naked with boys and touching boys cocks and sticking you dick in bums, but don't get aroused by girls, it's probably a sign that homosexuality is part of it. Not all of it, but part of it.
And I'd speculate that those who are aroused by young boys are attracted to the priesthood where they get opportunity. Unless they teach it in the seminary. And I reckon it's a public service to keep it in the public consciousness that these these sanctimonious hypocrite cunts fuck vulnerable kids by telling jokes about them
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 15:21, , Reply)
This is a normal post isn't sexual abuse about power and opportunity rather than sexuality?
Priests historically had and still have better access to vulnerable boys. That;s why 80% of children sexually abused by priests were/are boys but that isn't the same in the non-priest sexual abuser population.
(, Sat 20 Jul 2024, 11:29, , Reply)
This is a normal post I think even non abusive sex can be about other things, but sexual orientation and preference is part of it
kevin spacey might be into abusing young male actors, and cosby into drugging chicks and raping them, but their sexual preference informs who they choose. cosby isnt drugging men, and spacey women. Paedo's are particularly fucked in the head if that doco by Louis theroux was any guide, but like us most of them have a sexual orientation, a sexual preference that they're aroused by. That's what these terms mean. Sexual orientation, who you get aroused by, is actually a more straightforward characteristic than gender identity. people might not know who they are, but they know what turns them on
I don't know what the overall stats are for sexual preference among paedos. It'd be interesting to see if the comibined priest and scoutmaster numbers skew the results towards boys, or the creepy uncles and PE teachers tip the balance the other way
(, Sat 20 Jul 2024, 15:15, , Reply)
This is a normal post Ffs. The mechanics of the onion joke hinge on revulsion and ridicule of homosexual sex.
You can pretend otherwise if you want, if that’s the delusion that keeps you sane. You can pretend Joe Biden has all his marbles if you want. Just spare us your angry and inane sophistry. Haven’t you got a reading of kiddies’ books to toddlers by drag queens to attend? You’ve got to defend these gay rights or they’ll disappear forever!
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 13:02, , Reply)
This is a normal post as I said, it relies on the sophistication of its audience
rather than people like yourself who are revulsed by gay sex and assume other people must be so this is the point of the video. It's ok, there's other, simpler kinds of humour than satire where you don't get confused about what it all means
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 13:44, , Reply)
This is a normal post Yes mate. Jokes about felching rent boys are very sophisticated satire. Very sophisticated indeed. Yes sireee.

(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 13:54, , Reply)
This is a normal post quite fixating on that aspect, aren't you
it'd be like watching the Brass Eye bit about the dangers of Cake and assuming it's all about shaming drug users. I guess if you don't get it you don't get it
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 14:33, , Reply)
This is a normal post Yes mate. That onion vid was very sophisticated satire. Really arch invective.
You know you’ve exposed your idiocy, so now you claim I don’t get an entirely different sketch, about an entirely different subject. The Brass Eye sketch actually is sophisticated satire, that works on many levels, and contains much more parody (not the same thing as satire, although I doubt you know the difference). This is how your sophistry always goes, fatuity exposed, you try and shift the focus onto something else. Comparing that profoundly lowbrow and infantile onion skit to Brass Eye is just moronic. Brass Eye was so very funny because it was clever, but superficially appeared to be just silly. The onion is just puerile. The onion is much more your level.
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 14:54, , Reply)
This is a normal post are you still going on?
"relying on the sophistication of the audience" just means that the producers are assuming the audience has sufficient intelligence not to mistake satire for direct comment. I know it's a subtle difference, between that and saying the satire is sophisticated, but that's why people do their english gsce.
They even explicitly signpost one joke just in case, with the newsreader saying "the average well adjusted gay man does not engage in spreading fecal matter...but these are particularly repressed". This isn't to add to the humour, but for the benefit of particularly slow viewers so that they won't misinterpret this as a comment about all gay men, though still operating somewhat above your level it seems.
I think the parallels are obvious between the two sketches, both pretend to be real news and mimic their respective country's formats and style, but both deal with a fictious subject, a fake drug crisis or gay prostitution surge, and both have targets that are real and hypocritical. The difference is the brass eye has less parody, using real celebrities to make its point while the onion uses actors to play the prostitutes. Bernard manning is not parodying himself, he's genuinely taken in by the fake premise. I know these terms can be difficult. As to your opinion about the two shows, thanks for sharing, but I'd put a bit more stock in someone who demonstrates they understand them first.
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 23:43, , Reply)
This is a normal post Am I still going on?
Bit rich from the most long winded bore on /links. Just do a word count mate. I’m surprised you hadn’t done your old trick of deleting the most fatuous of your replies. Anyway can’t talk now- I’m trying to understand the sophisticated satire of the onion. Republicans are coprophiliacs! What could it possibly mean?
(, Sat 20 Jul 2024, 15:45, , Reply)
This is a normal post Good, you’ll get there eventually
We all learn at our own speeds
(, Sat 20 Jul 2024, 23:46, , Reply)
This is a normal post Projecting.

(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 14:17, , Reply)
This is a normal post another "I know you are but what am I?" level retort from Tony
I'll file that one along with "No, Your values are entirely transactional" in the 'Can't think of any counterargument' folder
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 14:41, , Reply)
This is a normal post Whereas your arguments also degenerate into “you’re obsessed”.

(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 14:56, , Reply)
This is a normal post You're literally projecting, though.

(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 15:08, , Reply)
This is a normal post What about people's hypocrisy being used against them?

(, Sat 20 Jul 2024, 11:15, , Reply)
This is a normal post Here's the story on pride.com
They seem to be having a laugh about it too.
(, Fri 19 Jul 2024, 9:36, , Reply)

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