Curses
Someone has stolen my MC Hammer mug from the cupboard at work - I am most peeved! :(

What are you most peeved about today?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 14 Jan 2010, 11:22, 103 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ohrwurm . . .
my neice currently loves this video and song . . .

www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbY6SYtvs7M&feature=related

This is the Greek version, but she'll happily listen to French, German, Hungarian and Hebrew, dancing along to "Gummi." Now my Mum wants me to get a hold of the DVD/CD - I have chosen to download a few of the songs via the wonderfulness of Audacity from YouTube.

What songs can you not get out of your head?




"I am a Gummi Bear, I am a Gummi Bear, I am a Yummy Tummy Funny Lucky Bear . . . . Argh!"


(Apologies if you listen to the above and end up singing it all day . . .)

Edit: yes, I am looking for suggestions to get this blody song out of MY head . . .
( Mrs Legless . . . belongs to, well, you know . . . :), Thu 14 Jan 2010, 10:42, 84 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Argh! The kid in the houses behind us is in a wheelchair
Everyday the bus that picks him up for school parks right across our driveway and spends at least 5 minutes lowering the ramp and getting him in and putting it all away before driving off. Today we got our daughter in the car and started driving out and he just parked right across us so we beeped and he ignored. Then the woman came down with her son in the wheelchair and they just got on with it slow as ever. My wife called the number on the side of the bus and was told "Can't you be patient" to which she replied "I phone nearly everyday because he makes me late, he's blocking our drive, he could park on the other side of the road where there are no driveways" She gets the reply "But he's disabled" then she gets out and the kids mother gives her this evil look and my wife kicks off saying "don't give me that look love, you've made me late again my car was moving to get out the drive and he just blocks me in" she gets the reply "But he's disabled" Now this happens every fucking day and people think that we are being dicks because we won't wait five minutes to get out of our drive. The mother has threatened to phone the police and tell them we are "anti disabled" Now my wife is at work and she has just got a mouthful for being late. Everyone tells us we should just park on the road so they can't block us. So we shouldn't use our driveway?

So are disabled kids Gods way of punishing parents that sinned when they were younger?
( Peej, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 9:53, 97 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Stupid mobiles
Don't you just hate getting a missed call with no number as the contact? reception at work is a bit flaky so sometimes never rings, which is all wonderfully helpful to find out who and what it's all about, I must get two or three a week!
(Halfy By light alone, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 9:07, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Alright?
Question for Psychomisery related to something we talked about yesterday: if you had to fuck a relative, which one would you fuck?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 8:53, 53 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just got back from Heriot-Watt's so called "Rock and metal night"
It was a relentless dirge of shit emo bands and oh-look-at-me-I'm-so-indie-but-I-look-and-sound-just-like-every-other-fucking-band wankery.

What SHOULD they have played?
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 1:19, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

DAVE'S BIG THREAD
sit back, pour yourself a beer, light a candle and DIE SLOWLY.
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 23:07, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ayup, did you miss me?
Just spent a wonderful few days in Vegas and had a blast, including seeing a show called Bite which is basically hot vampire chicks with their tits out.
Oh, and I can highly recommend Lion King.

As you were.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 22:27, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Don't really move that fast over here, does it?

( WHARRGARBL, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 21:11, 66 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

B3TA ARMAGEDDON!!
BOOM
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 19:51, 34 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What's going on over here then?

( WHARRGARBL, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 19:11, 124 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

HANDS UP IF YOU ARE AN UNCLE FUCKING CRY BABY.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 18:56, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

OMG
it is snowing in my garen!!! l;ol
( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 18:03, 105 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

B3tans at the cinema
www.gft.org.uk/content/default.asp?page=s75

"GFT has introduced monthly autism-friendly screenings"

Thank me later
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:15, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

While you're all here having fun I had to make an emergency dash to the vets as Biscuit hurt her paw.
I HOPE YOU ARE ALL ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES.

It's ok she's doing fine. It was just a bruised paw.
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 17:03, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm a bit bored. Which are the best and worst music videos EVER?
To my mind they are both one and the same:

Jagger/Bowie's 'Dancing in the Streets'

Car crash television in extremis. The bit where Bowie's singing and Mick keeps popping out from behind a pillar is fucking priceless. The clothing is hilarious and the song itself beyond parody.

I could watch it all day, every day and never stop pissing myself.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 16:32, 92 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

MEMEMEMMEME - Online Dating
I've signed up to that Daily Mail dating site, I'm going to say it's for a laugh at the moment.

I want YOU, the INTERNET, to write the "About me" bit, as I'm rubbish at that sort of thing.

ALT: Tell me your tales of online dating.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 14:46, 95 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hey Fatties it's looking shitter then ever with the attention seeking.
In 2010, what are the goals for QOTW?

/Talk is much, much better than QOTW, and /Talk is very shit.
In which ways do you attempt to gather ground. I am here to help.


Yours,
Internet Hero, JMG.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Wed 13 Jan 2010, 14:21, 87 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Volunteers wanted. Male or female.
Between the 5th and 9th of February I need people to send me dirty texts. Pictures are no good as I'm on pay as you go and can't recieve them. All texts will be gratefully received.


Thank you.

Will probably need help in August also.
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 13:43, 162 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Shits
I work in a small office, so for the most part I work with less than 5 people.

Right now I REALLY need a shit. But it will be so obvious going out the room for 15 minutes with zero excuses that I will be destroying the mens toilet bowl with molten brown napalm.

In fact I'll probably whiff quite a bit coming back into the office.

So /qotw regulars, I ask you - how do you hold in a shit?
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 12:47, 66 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Is everyone surviving the terrible winter weather in Europe I keeep reading about?
It was -20C here on the way to work this morning but we are used to it so it's no big deal.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 12:45, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What's with all these newsy links?
If I wanted news I'd go to a news site but I'm here because I want filth! FILTH!!

Give me some filth. *rubs thighs*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 12:13, 66 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Looks like the Fail have lept aboard the bandwagon
dating.dailymail.co.uk/

Who's your idea of a worst date or what's the worst date you've ever been on?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 11:12, 116 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anyone here play the tenor sax?
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/8455535.stm

If so, I need to organise a band to go along to this and play "Yakkety Sax" (aka the Benny Hill music) in the background.

Any takers? Alternatively, can anyone else suggest some inappropriate songs to expand the setlist? I've already added the Clown music and the theme from The Archers to the list...
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 10:38, 71 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Maddie
Joking aside, the recent accusations from the Portuguese police have once again put this back onto the front pages. Personally this is the story i have always believed, tthat they were doctors who were in the habit of giving the kids 'a little something' to help them sleep, while they fucked off for tapas and booze. Unfortunately on this occasion they got it wrong, and in a guilt induced panic, disposed of the child. Being a parent myself, the whole idea of leaving my kids, aged only 2 and 4, in an unlocked room, which was out of my line of sight, while i went and got pished, really doesn't sit well with me.

The police force in Portugal would not just bump their gums for the sake of it and spout any old shit, they obviously have good reason to think what they do. That and the fact the mother has always looked guilty, of something, and that on discovering she was not in the room was heard to let out an alibi laced cry of, 'They've taken her, they've taken her', despite the fact Maddie could have woken up from her barbiturate fug and wandered off.

Yes, I know this is all conjecture, but I doubt if the truth will ever come to light. Therefore, what do you think might have happened?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 9:49, 64 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I dreamt I snogged Eddie Izzard last night. It was lovely.
But he left me.

They always leave me in the end.


Which famous person have you snogged in a dream?
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Jan 2010, 8:55, 71 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

When's the last time you were spectacularly rejected?
I've been exceptionally horny all day today (stoked by reading Charlaine Harris' 3rd novel in the True Blood series).
So, I've just been telling my spouse about a lesbian dream I had the other night, along with a unfulfilled secret desire to snog another woman.
His response?
"Could you get some chicken wings out of the freezer for the dog's supper?"
He didn't even say "please" :o(
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 20:44, 56 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A question, or poll if you will:
Any of you ever feel you've definitely made the right/wrong career choice?

And on a mostly unrelated note, does anyone else ever leave things to right before the deadline, and spend the time they should be working playing games, sleeping, or being a massive cunt online? I want to know if it's something that's mostly engineer-specific.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 20:14, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evening
Last night I did a fart that stank so bad it woke me up.

How did you wake up this morning?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 12 Jan 2010, 20:13, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I insist you stop this incessant bullying of bud light. I love bud light with all my heart. I love it more than my best mate and my mum.
What do you insist we stop bullying?
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 12 Jan 2010, 18:39, 37 replies, latest was 16 years ago)