OH NO!!!
Agnostic Antichrist is on his way to hospital after running and somehow how fucking up his foot.

He is a flid.

Any other exciting Friday news?
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 12:22, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

tee hee
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7219463/Christian-TV-presenter-reads-out-Star-Wars-plot-as-story-of-salvation.html
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:52, 39 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

When work affects your health
Does anyone have any idea of what a company is liable for if the workplace is affecting your health? Sick building syndrome and all that. I'm not looking to sue them or anything, but I would like to be transferred to another office, much closer to my home. To achieve this I could play up on the fact that my health is suffering due to the horribly dry atmosphere and complete lack of any natural daylight. My psoraisis has indeed got a bit worse in the time I have worked here, but it would be easy to ramp the impact of this up, if I had to.

My question is, does the employer have any responsibility to me, particularly if I get a letter from my doctor stating that the working conditions could easily be the catalyst for my worsening symptoms? Or would they just tell me to fuck and call me a Bridie - flaky on the outside, and full of mince.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 9:23, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Thank fuck it's Friday
Today I am mainly flemming everywhere. As in snot, not Ian.

I don't care what you talk about as long as it's not cats, valentines day or other commercial fuckwadding "celebrations", diet coke being better than real coke (it's not diet coke tastes like feet) or the weather
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 12 Feb 2010, 8:40, 67 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evening thread.
I have wine. What have you got?
( girlinthehole, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 19:42, 135 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Looks like someone took our advice on killing themselves

lets see if it works.

www.telegraph.co.uk/fashion/fashionnews/7214450/Fashion-designer-Alexander-McQueen-found-dead.html
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 16:29, 67 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Google buzz, eh who's got one?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 16:17, 38 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Kerching
Just checked my bank account, been given a five hundred quid bursary. Not sure why. Needless to say I am delighted, that's the weekend drugs and alcohol fund well and truly sorted.

Anyone else had nice surprises out of absolutely nowhere lately?
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 14:31, 43 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Two! Count 'em! Two entries on the front page for 'Famous People I Hate'!
THANKS ALL!!

rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 13:47, 19 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just back from the doctors
Turns out I am shorter than I thought. I am devastated as every centimetre counts!

Have you had any new insights about yourself recently?
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:34, 70 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Two left feet
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/edinburgh_and_east/8509134.stm

It seems like a day for lolwhacky news links.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 12:09, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

haha
marriage FAIL
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 11:24, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

the height of luxury?
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6770590/Cashmere-loo-roll-the-ultimate-bathroom-indulgence.html
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 10:44, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm being cultured this evening.
A showing of Man With A Movie Camera, followed by a discussion.
Anyone done stuff recently, not involving football, or booze? Or hanging around dodgy web sites?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 10:16, 96 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I actually almost pissed myself this morning
because as I got into town, two old ladies were shouting at each other at the bus stop and started hitting each other pretty viciously with their umbrellas. Still shouting, one biddy put her brolly up and used it as a shield and started poking the other old dear in the chest. Then the bus turned up and off they went.

Other than football, how the hell are you?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 11 Feb 2010, 9:25, 68 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Boffins! Part 1, Finance.
Right, lets talk football. Specifically Liverpool. How did Hicks and Gillette get away with borrowing all that money to buy the club, and then load the debt in to the club? So where is liability for them? In theory they got the club for nowt, yes? It hurts my brain.
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Thu 11 Feb 2010, 9:08, 38 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Band/Album
mate of mine came up with the term "Bukkake Suuicide"; we thought itd be a great name for our (non-existent) band or our first album; what fictional names would you like to call your band/album.
(kitescreech still here, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 20:20, 37 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It just occured to me that
I might know someone on here from, gasp, meatworld.

If any of you understand what I mean by PSC, tech support and Watford then gaz me.

ta.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 19:19, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

i'm staring accusingly at a blank piece of paper
i have been for some time. given it's repeated refusal to yield any inspiration to assist me, i'm seriously considering clubbing myself to death with my swivel chair and putting me out of your misery.
what do you to to combat designer's block? gimme some good inspiring interesting designery type sites to waste time on while i wait to die of mediocrity.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 17:04, 42 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just a quick one to finish the day
If you could choose to save one celebrity in your armoured compound when the dead finally rise and walk the earth, who would it be?

Alternatively which celebrity would you most want to see as a zombie as they lurched toward you and finally tore you limb from limb whilst feasting on your innards?
(Bazongaloid, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 16:10, 79 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

ARGH!
It's bastard snowing again! I'm sick of the sight of it! Add to that the fact I've completely now run out of sympathy for a friend of mine (fake suicide one), and I'm not in the best of moods.

However, one thing that is saving my sanity is that I've got a date later. I'm interested in how it will go, it's the first time I've actually wanted to go out with someone in nearly 5 years, the two since were just there at the time.

What is driving you insane? And what's stopping you from going postal?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 15:04, 75 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Enzyme will be pleased:
www.digitalspy.co.uk/tv/news/a202471/channel-4-e4-to-stop-showing-friends.html

Thank fuck for that.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 10 Feb 2010, 14:20, 42 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just saw this whilst doing some research:
Having a psychosis does not mean you're nuts. Psychosis is simply a medical term, which means, according to the dictionary:
"any severe mental disorder in which contact with reality is lost or highly distorted"

Hmm...
"Yes Mr Jones, that is correct - you are not crazy, you're just a complete mentaller who has no grasp on any tanglible truths."
"Oh that's good news, doctor."
"I'm not a doctor, Mr Jones. I am your brain. Kill. KILL!"

If being psychotic does not mean you're nuts, what does? Eh?
( thealternativefact, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 14:06, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Tech thread (with full apologies for its rather esoteric nature)
Anyone here have any experience with wiring guitars and/or modding pickups? Basically I'm looking at attempting the Out-of-Phase setup, aka The Peter Green Mod.

I've seen it demonstrated on a couple of nice Les Pauls (courtesy youtoob) and it sounds chuffing lovely - sound is achieved by setting up one pickup out of phase with the other. I'm just wondering whether it's worth attempting it on my cheap SG copy, and if so, whether I should just swap the wires over or go the whole hog and flip the magnet.
_{I know there are lots of Les Paul forums I could ask, but I fear being snubbed for not owning a Gibson LP.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 13:45, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Teehee!
dictionary.mictoboy.co.uk/define/shirter/
Anything else for the b3ta dictionary?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 13:15, 68 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Wedding Invitations...
I'm getting married in July. My fiance's family are great and have all been invited. As have everyone on my dads side.

The small number on my mums side though, are a complete bunch of c*nts.

Having been assigned the complex task of posting the invitations, was it a bad idea that I stuck the four destined for said c*nts down a drain like a lazy paper boy, and replaced them with my own new and improved ones which are now on their way to four mates?

Nobody will know until the big day....
(big perm is no good with them there 'puters, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 11:08, 103 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have decided that I am far more attractive than I thought I was.
There is nothing like walking along a beach full of semi-naked people to remind you that most of us have saggy and flabby bits hiding beneath our clothing. I have cheered up considerably as was threatened before my departure, (regardless of the cat poo I came back too). The highlight of the trip was nearly killing an old German couple with a wayward beach umbrella but they took it in good humour which was a nice.


How is everyone?
( girlinthehole, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 10:43, 72 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

ok, here goes. please add any edits you think might be hellpful, i'm dreadful at this stuff.
i'm mailing the MD of the company who headhunted me..

Hi there xxxx, I hope you remember me. My name is Pete, we met briefly at the xxxxxx xxxxxx xxxxxx demo at xxxxxx in xxxxxx.. I'm xxxxxx xxxxxxx's Graphic Designer.
Unfortunately I didn't get the chance to attend the second meeting, as I was on holiday. I understand that there's going to be some interaction between myself and your creative team regarding the new signage installs in your stores. The understanding I had from the first meeting was that there was a potential need for a designer to bridge the gap between what your team are doing currently, and the more digital end of things, signage, website etc? If this is the case, while I'm sure you have a ton of portfolios from designers applying for the position, I'm just getting in touch to say I would love the opportunity to work with your creative team, whether that would be in my role as designer for xxxxx xxxxxx, or otherwise. I can send you examples of my work, and a CV if required, I simply didn't want to be presumptuous and clog your inbox with unsolicited files. I'm available for contact on this email, or on mobile xxxxxxxxxxx. This is my personal phone and email, and if possible, I would prefer for the time being that this conversation remained private, for obvious reasons.
Thanks for taking the time to read this, I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards

Pete







//msg

is there anything too retarded in there?
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Wed 10 Feb 2010, 10:23, 42 replies, latest was 16 years ago)