Why is shopping so hard?
I was shopping with a pall yesterday. We popped into Lush quickly before going home, and I think EVERY staff member approached us. Now the shop wasn't busy, so I'm sure that everyone on duty was well aware of the fact that we had been offered help.

GRRRR.

I particularly took offence to the fact that no less than three different assistants asked me if I had shopped in Lush before. The worst of it is that I actually wanted to buy something and I left without taking my credit card out.

Don't even get me started how people in shops have all of a sudden started calling me Madam.
(lympicita_ie, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 18:38, 61 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Hello Off Topic
I had an idea for a QOTW popular page that would prevent vote-rigging. What do you lot reckon?
(zombie dave frrrrrrrrrk rrrrrrrrrf yrrrrrrr crrrrrrrntssss, Sun 20 Jun 2010, 13:08, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anyone fancy a fuck?
I might buy you a curry after, if you're any good. And I don't mind dressing up like the bird off Doctor Who, though it's not an exact likeness I'll admit, my tits are bigger.
( broadsword, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 16:27, 70 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm Fucking Crippled!

Spent the last few days furnishing a house on my own. Lifting loads of heavy weights, plumbing in white-goods and assembling shitloads of flat-pack furniture.

Job almost done, building the last bed and I bend over to lift up a plank and riiiiiippppp.... Something goes in my lower back. I can stand OK but trying to bend is absolute agony.

So why is this? Why, after all the heavy lifting, the contortions I went through to get bolt A into Slot B, the holding weights while I got something to fit - why didn't something go ping then? Why wait until the very end and then break lifting a poxy plank?

There is no justice.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 12:08, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bit quiet on here
Has the sight of overpaid lacklustre fuckknuckles being unable to score against a pub XI traumatised everyone?

What entirely predictable event has surprised you recently?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 19 Jun 2010, 9:04, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Dilemma
far worse than Al's

a mate bought me a St. George's cross sweatband from Tesco for a miniscule amount of money. Should I wear it to play a gig tonight?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 16:33, 42 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm a bad person
I just made a comment on a friends facebook status saying she wished her friend felt better suggesting chocolate and cock. Little did I know said friends mother had just died. I actually feel a bit bad on the internet about this.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 15:51, 137 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Alright, Dullsville?
It seems that I may have accidentally encouraged the snub-nosed chubster I mentioned on here a few days ago.

This simply will not do at all, it isn't allowed. She's become over-familiar with me, far too friendly and nice, and has started referring to me as her 'angel'.
I have to put a stop to this at once, I need to make myself unattractive as soon as possible, and you lot were the first people I thought of for help.

Suggestions?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:36, 86 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Problem thread
I've been packing like a fury for hours, finally got some semblance of order. Laid out the clothes I'm going to change into after I've showered, and found the dress is wrinkled, the tights have a ladder, and the cardigan needs an iron. To change my outfit will require major unpacking, I can't iron very well, but I can buy more tights. Solutions?

Alt Q for those not interested in my clothes problems: what is the stupidest thing you have ever done while intoxicated (drugs or alcohol)?

Alt Alt Q: Would you rather a lovely dinner and a really bad nights sleep (restless sleep for you insomniacs) or vice versa?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 14:23, 46 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Apologies for treading on the toes of your thread, Larry
But it was basically decided, about an hour ago, that I'm taking next week off. I've not had a holiday since christmas, and my supervisor said that the way things are going that I might as well take a break next week. This is all very well and good, but any ideas what the devil I should do with it?

(Boundary conditions: I need to be in town tomorrow, and I need to be in Todmorden by the next Saturday afternoon. Other than that, feel free to suggest absolutely anything.)
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 12:30, 180 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Things are a bit frosty at home.
My wife has an aqua blue smock top. She is a little large, and this top is meant to be summery and floaty.
Daughter has a duvet cover the same colour. Seeing the cover hanging over the banisters, I asked Mrs V why it was there. Apparently mistaking her top for a double duvet cover was a bit of a gaff.
My protestations that it was a genuine error didn’t help.
Women can be so sensitive.

Anyone else upset their partners lately?
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 18 Jun 2010, 11:12, 161 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Basic, but good.
What are the simple, uncomplicated things that you enjoy?
Beans on toast, The Ramones and walking are probably the top ones for me.
(Cave Duck, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 10:37, 87 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have to go to the dentist in half an hour
and I really don't want to.

What do you have to do today that you would rather pay someone else in sexual favours to do for you?

I'll be back to read the replies with a mouth full of blood and cotton wool no doubt, so make them awesome to cheer me up.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 18 Jun 2010, 8:52, 113 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Feeling the love
Tonight i'm feeling the love for the gorgeous Clendrix and i'm honoured to be her friend. If I was a man and she was single I totally would. As it is, I hope to be feeling more love from her tomorrow night.

Who are you feeling the love for right now?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 21:55, 125 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Makka Pakka's Fault
I am now convinced that Makka Pakka is solely responsible for the popularity of the vuvuzela
(conanow, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 20:21, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So, the guy in charge of Network Rail is going to step down
www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/jun/17/network-rail-boss-iain-coucher-resigns

He says he is worth every penny of his £750K salary - which makes me think he's a liar

BUT

Bob Crow has attacked him saying he "presided over a culture that had attacked jobs, working conditions and rail safety while his salary and perks had "gone through the roof"" and this makes me like him as a think Bob Crow is a cunt.

So I'm a little torn. Has anyone else found themselves torn over an issue recently?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 16:40, 72 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I am so behind the times
I have a CRT PC monitor as well as a CRT TV. I Figure on killing two birds with one stone by getting an LCD TV and also using it as a monitor.

Is this any good for that? www.currys.co.uk/gbuk/evotel-elcd32usb-32-hd-ready-lcd-tv-03021887-pdt.html

It looks good but I'm woefully uninformed about these new fangled gadgets.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:57, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Might have seen this elsewhere but:
news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/politics/10341863.stm

reasonably interesting.

What would you cut?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 15:30, 129 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm so bored
I promissed myself I'd only be a lurker today as I'm pretty busy, but I can't give a fuck about my job anymore.

And I'm getting a headache, trying to get all the paperwork that you need to get married in Tenerife. FFS! It's just a wedding! Why do you need a birth certificate less than 6 months old?? How many times can you be born??

And all of Mark's papers need to be translated by a certified translator for 0.10€/word. I should be working on that.

Edit: AltQ: Which promises have you broken?

Which stupid bureaucracy has made you mad recently?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 14:41, 128 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I pulled a muscle last night
trying to imitate that pole dancing bird from Britain's Got Talent.

Tell me something stupid you did recently that resulted in pain and/or humiliation. Keep sex stories to a minimum, I'm eating lunch.

I'll have an alternative question because I like them and I don't like Bert.

What do you hope to achieve this summer? I'm going to learn how to sail, even though my miserable sister says it won't happen.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 13:23, 279 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The sun is shining
At this moment if you could be anywhere in the world, where would you be?

And since I like the concept of an Alternative Question, you're having one.

Alt Q: Which famous author (dead or alive) would you most like to have a romantic candlelit dinner with? Sexual preference need not apply (i.e. you can be straight and male and still go for Charles Dickens and not have it end up in a bumming, though why you'd want to is a separate question.)

Alt Alt Q: Recommendations please on how to stay cool in extremely hot conditions
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 11:35, 110 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Allrightyroo
I'm off my crutches tomorrow afternoon, I'm almost able to walk without a limp AND I have a whole block of chocolate for the weekend. My exams are over, the school term has a week to go, and I'm wrapped up snuggly warm in my house listening to the rain.
Oh, and my flights, insurance and accommodation are all booked!

I realise this is an insufferably cheerful post, but I really don't care at the moment. I'm happy, which is a good thing.

if you really MUST have something else to talk about - why do the weatherpeople always seem to underestimate how cold or hot it's going to be?
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 17 Jun 2010, 10:19, 158 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

SORRY!!!!
Apologies to all who have put up with my emo rants over the past year or so and who still speak to me, (which is all of you really).

Erm.......



I like breasts.
( girlinthehole, Thu 17 Jun 2010, 8:00, 130 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Laugh of the day, redux
As I'm staying in a hotel waiting for my fiancee to finish work, I thought I'd go out and find some lunch earlier. I went out to the parking lot and was about to get into my car when I noticed three women unloading stuff from one car into another. One woman carried over a rather large watermelon, then went back after a second one.

I called out to her, "So is this the part where I smile at you and say 'Nice melons'?"

They all burst out laughing.

What terribly sexist and/or politically incorrect thing have you gotten away with saying in public recently?
( Wanderer, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 20:33, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well, funny story
I've just moved down to London (from Stamford) and I'm in my new house. Only my furniture isn't here yet.

I'm going back to bring a van on Saturday morning. So I have a big, empty house with 1) a camp bed and chair 2) my laptop and broadband dongle and 3) some food.

Yep. I'm camping in my own house. The neighbours probably think I'm scum. Well I'm not. Though I did drink beer in the bath last night for something to do.

Today I've found a strange, hidden cupboard in the bedroom, about person sized (tall, not very deep or wide) with a full lenght mirror in it. And a lock on the outside.

What the actual fuck?
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 20:14, 27 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Just before you go
have a cute picture of a Capy, (in replies so if you shouldn't be looking at cute pictures you don't have to click it).
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 16:54, 122 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

check this out
spacex.org.uk/pl78.html

going to be one on the beach near me soon. Exciting moving beach engineering art!

no question. you people are getting stuck into routine too much
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 15:11, 104 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Afternoon people
I finish work for the summer on Friday (HOORAY!).


While I gloat what else should I do during the summer?


Alt: Anyone up for a hike during the BGB/BKers weekend extravaganza?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 16 Jun 2010, 13:47, 120 replies, latest was 16 years ago)