Must Plan Ahead
Going to a wedding in just under an hour. I can't find my tie, my special cufflinks nor belt.

Do you leave things to the last minute or do you plan ahead?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 28 Aug 2010, 10:36, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I missed it too much
A few years ago, I posted this:

www.b3ta.com/questions/thrownaway/post221669?highlight=answers-post-221704

I finally got of my arse and built a replacement:

sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs206.snc4/38621_457451490151_577405151_6339029_5943245_n.jpg

The red bits are shopped while I wait for the t-moulding to arrive from some bloke on ebay.
(dchurch bah, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 22:16, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Obligatory Friday Night In thread.
Film: www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaS37E3gKOU (Hachi: A Dog's Tale)
Food: Japanese (2x Prawn Tempora Temaki, 2x California Temaki, 2x Ebi Goyza, 1x Salmon Skin Maki, 1x scallop katsu, 1x teryaki sauce)
OH WOE IS ME: I'm sick, but i'll be sorted soon.
Drink: Mint, sugar and hot water.
Relax: Nice bath with the works.
Nosh: Galaxy.
Looking forward to: Getting fixed, asking out Cafe Girl, various social galas next week.
Next cooking thing I'm gonna do: oboejeans with a tomarto sauce and couscous crunchy top.
Alt Q: Do you spend your money on that isn't nessersary (eg, not bills).
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 19:25, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Don't know what to do.
I have just caught one of my staff smoking weed outside - it fucking STANK of it down there and whilst he was not still smoking it when I saw him there was no way on earth it was anyone else.

Now I don't care much (I'm not a fucking hypocrite), my boss is away so I am running the firm, but at the same time doing nothing is kind of condoning it.

What do I do?

Incidentally it smelled like fucking LOVELY weed.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 17:20, 41 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ok, this has gone far enough
Chompy has had a hard time of it from you lot and he has a lot to give.

He has instructed me to let you know that he is willing to take any young lady from b3ta to Pizza Express in Milton Keynes any Wednesday of their choosing.

If I were a young lady on QoTW I would definitely take him up on this offer, I've met him and can state that he doesn't look even the slightest bit like he might lurk in a bush.
( WormuIus, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 16:02, 81 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Blackpool
I am going there tomorrow to watch Fulham pick up three points, take MASSIVE (horse) DRUGS and throw donkeys off the end of the pier.

I hope its as utterly horrible as everyone's been telling me. Wheres the shittest place you've been to for the weekend?
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 15:14, 43 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Obligatory "what are you doing this weekend" thread.
Go on then, what are you doing?
I have my last shift in work tomorrow and I'm going out for my friend's birthday tonight. Very exciting. I need to find some safety pins though, since I'm wearing a strapless dress that is slightly too big for me and I'd really rather not re-enact what happened at the same girl's birthday party last year.

Or, if you have no social life and are sick of making up QOTW lies, what's your favourite flavour of ice cream?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 15:11, 194 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My pregnant wife has decided to pick a fight with her brothers ex fiancé
who is a nutcase and lives next door to us. The ex also doesn't know my wife is pregnant so would probably have no qualms in getting punchy. My wife is mad at me for telling her to leave it as she feels justified in picking said fight. I just care about the health of my wife and unborn child.

How have your other halves driven you crazy lately?
( Peej, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 14:18, 90 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This happened
www.b3ta.com/questions/confess/post841467
( WormuIus, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 13:12, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

As a consequence of himjim's thread
You know when people leave their bodies to medical science or whatever? I'm going to leave mine to an old folk's home, with instructions to stuff and mount it about the mantlepiece in a zombie-like attitude. I figure I'd at least die with a smile on my face.

How would you screw with peoples heads from beyone the grave?


Alt Q: Beer festival or pub crawl?
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 12:28, 62 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bank Holiday Ahoy!
'Tis a long weekend.

How will you be filling it? I am planning on drinking for most of it.

Alt Q: What makes you dead cool?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 12:02, 184 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I hate facebook forwards
especially the 'post this in your status' ones.

This has just appeared in my feed: "The British government announce that they are going to give £60 MILLION toPakistan, We have Troops without proper equipment..... Yet we donatemillions to other countries before helping our own first...... 99% ofpeople on facebook won't have the ...guts to copy and repost.........this...!!!!!! WILL YOU, I thought charity began at home...."

which has pissed me off.

What annoys you most about facebook? Or, if you're not on facebook, what annoys you most about people who use facebook?

Alternative questions: what subculture do you think you fit into? I used to be goth, then maybe a bit rockchick, but now I'm pretty tame and don't think I really have one. I'm aspiring towards pinup though.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 10:19, 257 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Owing to confusion in the previous thread, here is a proper Friday morning thread.
Its bank holiday weekend, the weather is fowl, but may improve to just plain crap. What are you going to be doing, or what would you like to be doing?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 8:35, 270 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

breaking news
NINETEEN prime rams were left in agony with mutilated genitalia following a malicious nightime attack.
The owner of the rams, Ballyhar farmer Patrick O'Keeffe, suffered shock and was rushed to Kerry General Hospital on Sunday morning following the discovery at his rented field at Sheersha, Faha. The animals were found cowering in the corner of the field, many with testicles swollen up to five times their original size following the castrations.


The rams, previously worth up to €400 each, are now fit only for factory fodder. Gardaí in Killarney have confirmed a full investigation into the incident.


"I'm devastated, I can't believe people could leave these animals suffering in such agony," said Mr O'Keeffe following his release from hospital. "I knew that a couple of the animals had swollen testicles on Saturday and I called the vet but I thought nothing of it. It was only when I went to investigate that I saw the extent of the damage."


Mr O'Keeffe is heavily reliant on income from his sheep stock and has estimated a total loss of €8,000. Rockfield-based vet Gerry Myers attended the scene on Sunday and said it was the worst he had ever witnessed.


"These animals were butchered. It was either very rushed or very amateurish as their genitals are ruined. These are prime two and threeyear-old rams and it would take up three men to carry out the attacks, first to catch them and then to use a burdizzo (castrating device)."


It is believed that the attacks took place either on Wednesday or Thursday night last.


An experienced farmer of over 30 years, Mr O'Keeffe has been involved in the sheep trade since he was 12 and regularly attends marts in Dingle, Kenmare and the Castletownbere area. He currently has 102 sheep and also owns a similarsized cattle herd.
(knackerz is skinning up, Fri 27 Aug 2010, 4:29, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Tomorrow I'm picking up the keys
for my first ever flat, with a mortgage and everything. Fair to say I'm slightly nervous.

What's the biggest undertaking you've ever been part of?

Alt. Q - I wrote my will yesterday, was a bit depressing. Do you know who you'd leave stuff to?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 21:52, 78 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Let me introduce to you one of the best things about my Kos holiday.


He's called Tarzan and kept us amused for hours.
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 18:17, 66 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Lazy fucking fuckers who are lazy. Fuckers.
A friend of mine has been complaining about being out of work. "Oh, I've got no money, I hate it..." and so on.

I've been suggesting ways to find gainful employment. She's not long out of college and doesn't have any experience, so I was suggesting skills that can be transferred to the work environment, being very upbeat and taking time out of my day to encourage her.

(Quotes)Her: "I'm not good with spreadsheets and they're fucking pointless anyway and I don't know about data entry much."

Me: "I'm thinking about fairly generic skills that can be applied to jobs. You can still put together a robust CV which we can get out to temp agencies and recruiters."

Her: "Nahhh, I'll pass."

Lazy shit. If you're not going to help yourself, you can fuck off. The world isn't going to fall into your lap. Young/lazy types? I give up.

Country. Dogs. Need another war. National Service. Bring back hanging. Etc.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 16:07, 232 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yoohoo! Blousie!
I know you're back so why ain't you here?

Alt Q: Park or back garden?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 14:19, 175 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

hello!
I'm back in the UK and married, which is strangely similar to being in the UK and not being married, except with a small metal band on my finger.

did I miss anything exciting in the past 3 weeks? or anything unexciting but worth mentioning?
( ascorbate, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 11:38, 282 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good morrow, peasants.
I'm starting to worry about my daughter growing up all wrong. She is already technically a cockney, and I fear for her accent and behaviour if she attends state school in London. I simply don't have the money to put her through private school, sadly.

Should I consider suggesting she and her mother - and me, separately (of course) move down to Canterbury where she will at least go to school with English speakers and will probably see a lot less knife crime? My ex is from there and she's mentioned that she might move there at some point anyway.

I know no-one down there but it's a lovely little town and I'm sure there are some decent folks about. So do I start a new life in the off-world colonies or not?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Aug 2010, 9:09, 216 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Here I am, at stupid o'clock in the morning
Waiting... at the airport... for my holidays!
I'll see you back next Wednesday. In the mean time, be good and love each other.

Oh, yes, no question, but at this time in the morning I don't think there'd be anyone around to answer it, anyway.

See you.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 26 Aug 2010, 6:11, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I barely got a chance to glance at /ot today
What were the highlights?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 21:38, 7 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So I've finally got my job interview in London confirmed for next week
So I want to know what the best interview you've ever had is. Perhaps not the most successful, but possibly/hopefully the funniest.

alt q: Suggestions of things to try and slip in to the interview?

alt alt q: Anyone doing anything in the least bit interesting this evening? I'm apparently trying to teach someone guitar, but I'm not quite sure how I ended up in that situation.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 18:44, 34 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Still raging?
People, you need to calm down and relax and smile.

What do you do when you're very stressed? Do you shout? Walk up and down? Smoke?

I usually shout a lot, but it makes me worse. It helps me do exercise or watch something funny on TV.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 25 Aug 2010, 16:12, 234 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

RAGE THREAD!
OK, I'll start

FUCKING CHARITY SHOP! I bought an armchair from them last week. They said they'd deliver it on Thursday. I waited in all day thursday, calling them a couple of times to see if they were coming. They kept saying "The woman's in the van now, so it shouldn't be too long". They didn't come and I waited in half of Monday, until they told me "no, can't deliver until Wednesday morning"

Today is Wednesday - I called them at 12 to ask, they said "she left 20 minutes ago, so it won't be too long"
I called just now "Well, she's in the van, she wants me to confirm your address"

They have not called me ONCE and are a bunch of twat munching dicksplats

edit: it just got here. Noone apologised or even said hello when they came :(
your go now
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 13:54, 275 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Following on from this;
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post835971

What's the most pathetic chat up technique you've been on the receiving end of?
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 12:46, 133 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm bored of drugs
Can we talk about lunch again? Oh go on. Unless you're having drugs for lunch then I don't care.

Should I buy Turnocks Teacakes or Toffee Crisps at lunch?
Did anyone watch that britain baking thing on BBC2 yesterday?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 25 Aug 2010, 12:32, 36 replies, latest was 16 years ago)