My ex
Appearently gave some bloke 200 quid to make horrible things to my children!!
(Rebooted Frazer Smoothly scrolling since, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 18:31, 15 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

The woman I'm seeing gave me £200 today
that she blagged off her (apparently massively gay) ex-husband. I spent it all on XO cognac and when I'm really pissed up later I'm going to beat her kids up, just for lolz.

How about you?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 18:05, 50 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

So I got screwed for about 200 quid today
thanks to the ex-wife, and will probably not see my kids for a month or so. Anything interesting happened to you today?

May contain whinyness, but if you cannot whine to strangers on the internets, then where can you whine? Ah fuck it, just ignore this then
(Rebooted Frazer Smoothly scrolling since, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 16:24, 87 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Some of you who were at the post wedding drinks in Bristol may remember
that I got a text from an old co-worker of mine asking if I was looking for work. Well I just left the interview and should have an offer in the post next week.

Therefore if any of you want a cheap virgin connection gaz me your details quick before I hand them my notice.

What has made you giddy today OT?

AltQ anybody got a good quitting tale that they missed the quitting question with?
(bill, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 15:41, 6 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Best thing about the opposite sex: curves and sparkly smiles.
Worst thing about the opposite sex: OMG my bum looks huge in this.
Go.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 14:55, 209 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Even fewer people care about lunch.
Fewer still care about your miserable, pathetic weekend plans, but share them here nevertheless, so we can all sneer at your nommy LARPing intentions, or Pratchett convention tickets.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 13:07, 216 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Nobody cares about /talk
It's lunchtime, what internet folk care most about is lunch. What are you having?

I'm having homemade beef in beer with parsnip mash, which I'm greatly looking forward to.

AltQ: name a non-OT b3tan who is a thoroughly nice person and should be spared from the purges.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 12:22, 85 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Alright sisterfuckers
There's very little JMG discussion at the moment. Can we amend this please?
(__, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 11:56, 71 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

happy friday
i got a couple of texts from a friend last night which i thought i had to share with you lot. she has been dipping her toe in the murky weirdo-infested world of internet dating, and is now up to date 13. previous stars have included marriedboy, 2-4-1-voucherboy and never-moved-out-of-home-despite-being-38"boy". so hopes were not particularly high for the thirteenth clown. anyway, the first text i got said:

"well, he's ok. genuine and nice. not ESPECIALLY sexy, but if i were going to fuck any of the 13, let's face it, it would be him."

1 min later:

"aaaaaaand i just sent that to him, so i am guessing i won't be seeing him again once he picks up that little beauty".

this has made me laugh a LOT. much much more than my christmas "text all 300 people in your phone from abroad" fuck-up. so make me laugh some more: have you texted the wrong thing to the wrong person, or have you sent drunken nightmarish "pleeeeease love me" texts??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:08, 214 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

It's Friday, thank fuck.
Morning all!

I'm a little tired, stayed up watching episodes of various things, while keeping track of us winning The Ashes. Now I just need to get today out of the way, and I'll be an extra happy bastard.

What is the best thing you've seen recently? Be it a film, an episode of a TV series, a sporting result, anything?

Alt Q: What films do you want to see, but simply haven't got round to? I've never seen "It's a Wonderful Life", and really want to, I've just never caught it on television.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 8:38, 151 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Even more generic evening thread
with fewer people.
I just came across a half completed script I did some time back in a drawer. What unfinished project have you got lurking?

Alt Q: Favourite Pixar film?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 22:05, 98 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Generic eveing thread with weak attempt at conversation starter
what's the best thing you've ever made?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 19:30, 201 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Inspired by some of the new QOTW answers;
What is your favourite cocktail/punch recipe?


Alt Q: How to play your favourite drinking games.
(TheColonel, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 17:11, 123 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Yes, it's me again, sorry.
I am trying a novel approach here. I am trying to get Montstock 2011 together, but am struggling to get a date that people can agree on.

I'd like it to be on a Saturday as Tayyabs is almost unbearably busy on Fridays and I want to get leathered so a weekend is preferable. January 29th was shot down in flames within seconds of my suggesting it.

Despite my taking rather a dim view of democracy on the whole, I am asking you horrible cunts to sort it out amongst yourselves and to get back to me.

So, question: when should I book Tayyabs for?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 16:25, 96 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I am in a filthy mood today
but I have tried to rouse my spirits by BUYING STUFF.

I've pre-ordered the Lemmy DVD, I have also pre-ordered Steve Hillage live at the Deeply Vale Festival double album on rainbow-coloured vinyl (very excited about this purchase), a t shirt and some jeans.

What have you got on order that you're excitedly waiting for?

Alt: When you're supremely fucked off, what do you do to cheer yourself up? I've tried cracking one off in my local Waitrose and even that failed to amuse.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 14:51, 167 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I found out today that I passed my theory exams which I sat in November
What has made you punch the air Rocky style lately?

Alt Q: If you were minaturised, what crustacean would you most like to do battle against in an all out death match?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 14:41, 52 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Well, that thread is going to be as popular as an abortion in the Vatican
So in a deliberate threadstomp, I ask only this...

If you had to pick someone to live forever (in good health) who wasn't yourself, who would it be? Then, when they got tired of life, they were able to choose to die, and pass on the immortality.

Alt Q: What's for lunch?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 12:32, 134 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

OT is sick. What's your prognosis people?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 12:17, 22 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

BASH!
just to say that rakky and i have now got off our collective arses and put a date in the calendar...

date: sat 2 july
time: whenever, prob from about 6ish
pub: will be in central london with a big beer garden, we'll let everyone know a bit nearer the time
after-party: either onto a club or a party back at mine for those who have the stamina to keep going past last orders
accommodation: a few people will be able to crash at mine, plus there are also quite a few cheap (for london!) hotels around there, eg the novotel in hammersmith is about £110 a night i think.

finally... please sign up on the calendar, you know you want to, don't make me look as if i will be drinking by myself all night (again)...

ok, as you were!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 9:34, 173 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Well hello there! You look smashing today, I really like that colour on you, it brings out your features.
What are your features? If you asked a friend to describe you to someone else, what do you think they'd say?
BEARD
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 8:38, 181 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Who broke OT?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 22:41, 111 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Venting thread
For some reason I've been proper narky the last few days, I reckon it's down to lack of sleep from having to get up early for work. I've been alternatively a bit emo and a barely-contained ball of rage, and have been getting irritated by a number of the smallest of things.

People not using their indicators have been met with the double deuces rather than an exasperated shrug, I threw a stapler at the wall because it dared to jam on me, and a chugger at the supermarket today nearly prompted a "Just fuck off you CUNT!" because he didn't take my first "No thank you" for an answer.

What's been pissing you off recently?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 18:48, 279 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

For fuck's sake you lot, stop working and piss about on the internet.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 16:48, 222 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Gonz stop pissing about on the internet and do some work

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 14:50, 162 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

This isn't links, but if it was links, this would be a good link to link to.
www.asylum.co.uk/2011/01/05/meet-ted-the-homeless-man-with-the-amazing-radio-voice/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 14:05, 43 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Lunchtime Thread Time.
Ended up with a ham/emingtile/something/champaign-bread melted toasted sandwich from Paul's, with a pistashio macaroon and hazlenut milk.

God, I <3 Farringdon.

Tell me, what have you been watching on the telly recently?
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 12:43, 102 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Where's her God damned sock!?
I was driven half insane by the pizza, and now this.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 11:49, 103 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Can you name a town/city in mainland Britain
which is a good place to go for a weekend break, that isn't London? If so, please do so, and also qualify your answer.

Alt Q: And if James told you to jump off a cliff, would you do that as well? No sir. EXACTLY.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 5 Jan 2011, 10:45, 249 replies, latest was 15 years ago)