What one decision would you go back and change if you had the chance?
If not, why not?

Alt Q: Life after death - bollocks or possible?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 21:54, 177 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Evening.
What are you doing this evening?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 19:56, 190 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Who was the first b3tan you ever met?
I met spikeypickle after finding out we lived within about a mile of each other. I'd class him as one of my best mates now, I see him as much as possible, although that usually just leads to us getting extremely drunk, and talking shit.

Alt Q: Any b3tans you want to meet? I'm hoping to meet Rswipe & Monty at the London bash, but I'd also like to meet Roota, Darth, DiT and Kitty.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 16:43, 174 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

It was -31C this morning and my car wouldn't start (cheap thing)
I had to get my daughter's boyfriend to give me a jump (my cables were broken too). Now I owe him. I prefer it to be the other way around.

What embarrassing need for help have you had lately?
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 14:52, 131 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-12249172
Bert's fucked.

So, who among you is sweating now?
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Mon 24 Jan 2011, 14:38, 15 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Book thread.
Come on you literary bores, tell us what you're reading at the moment.

I'm reading The Long Song by Andrea Levy as a change from the Sci fi and weird shit I usually go for. I like historical fiction and this, while interesting in learning more about slavery, isn't really grabbing me that much.

After this it's Room by Emma Donoghue.
( girlinthehole, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 13:19, 189 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I had such a good weekend I feel rather flat today,
I went out to a fucking marvellous Vietnamese restaurant last night where the standout dishes were chilli squid and char-grilled pork with vermicelli. The gooks seem to favour mint in their dishes, and it really freshens and lifts the food in a way their Chinese counterparts just don't seem able to do.

I think Vietnamese tucker is going to be my 'new thing' for this year. Now I've found a BYO place in walking distance of my house that I really, really rate, I shall milk it for all it's worth.

What's your new thing?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 13:18, 49 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

New thread for no reason
*sticks neck on block*

What's your favourite mainstream pop song of the last ten years? I don't mean the sort of thing Monty would rip the piss out of you for, I mean something anyone would be ashamed to admit to liking in a public forum. Let's see your stones, people.

Mine's either "The Show" by Girls Aloud or "Grace Kelly" by Mika. I've also come to the embarrassing conclusion of late that Rihanna is actually really rather good.

Alt Q - Breasts. Can they ever be too big? What's the cut-off point? Ideal size?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 Jan 2011, 10:03, 242 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Morning, Bummers!
I'm away on business, I'm on expenses, my best mate's out and about again, and I've got some sales coming!

Why are your cheerful today?

Alt Q - I'm skint, it's not payday for a week yet and my car is a state. Why are you pissed off?
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Mon 24 Jan 2011, 8:25, 114 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I've had some lovely scran tonight.
What are you having?
( girlinthehole, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 20:35, 181 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

If you could ask god just one question, what would it be and why?
I mean, ask him and get a reply.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 16:39, 133 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I need some help with a conspiracy theory, so where better than the home of nutjobbs.
Why the shuddering fuck are the police being so reticent in the phone hacking case. Namely doing there damndest to keep the targets of phone hacking secret. There's a can of worms here somewhere just don't know what it is.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sun 23 Jan 2011, 13:17, 8 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Post Tayyab's meat withdrawal blues
I want to go back and eat more of Tayyab's glorious food. I don't think I ate that much, the diet has shrunk my stomach somewhat, but what I did have was delicious.

I then might have drank a lot of g&t... Oh God I spent rather a lot...

Ever woken up after an awesome night and, upon replaying the events in your mind, have a stomach churning "oh shit" realisation?

Alt q: Do you reckon the bar maid was totally flirting with me?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Sun 23 Jan 2011, 11:19, 145 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I've not had curry.
But I've had, turned out to be more or less, a free night in the pub.

I took a tenner off the Deal or no Deal game on the IT Box, and a further eight quid from the Bullseye game. All from a quid.

Take that those who drink with the clever. Drinking in pubs populated by the stupid is where the future lies.

What (if you're awake) have you done today?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 23:17, 9 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Bangin' round 'ere innit?
Did I tell you about our RRROOOOAAAD TRRRRIIIIPP? It's not as exciting as going to a curry house in London and filling your face with hot meat, but it's pretty damned exciting. I'm packing now. What's the thing you always forget to take on a trip with you? Or are you incredibly awesome like me and make comprehensive lists for shit like this?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 16:25, 63 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Woot!
I got my story voted first in QOTW! Must've been a slow week.

So anyway, who dares me to resume my North Korean mantle and recontact the guy? Your input requested.
(racetraitor has an alibi for, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 9:30, 9 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Tonight I have called the police for the third time in my life
The first two being street fights (the first small, the second big). It's 6.01am and the people in the flat below mine are still playing music on max volume. I went across to the police station and made damn sure I was calling the non-emergency line from the phone by the door. Hopefully they'll turn up soon.

Edit: This isn't really a question. When did you last want to kill someone?

Alt Q: If you could learn one musical instrument perfectly, what would it be and why?

Alt alt Q: make it up. You're going to anyway.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Sat 22 Jan 2011, 6:03, 11 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Anyone else 'back from the boozer?'
Or indeed, just fancying a night-time-natter?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 23:36, 22 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Only because I'm upset about the deformed kitty
I'm moving on. BECAUSE I CAN.

Alt Q. Steve Wright off Radio 2. What is the most painful death you can devise for the utter knobcheese that he really is.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 21:36, 64 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

This weekend I have to wait in for a phone engineer
do some work and I might buy a microwave

Anyone got any slightly more exciting plans than that?

alt: Is there anything I should know before I buy a microwave. I have never bought one before and only owned one by association.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 18:18, 212 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

NEW THREAD
With a bbc link www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-12242596

What would you like to sex after all this time?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 15:52, 197 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

It's supposed to be -28 to -40C here Sunday night.
How's your winter going in the UK?
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 14:38, 34 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

That thread is too long
My wife went in the premature labour on Wednesday afternoon. She has been in since then with contractions that they have just managed to stop thankfully. They have been filling her with steroids to help the babies lungs develop as they are sure that it will be coming early. I haven't slept since Tuesday am am really beginning to feel it.

Whats the longest you have been awake for? Why? What was it like?

I am pretty sure this has been asked before so alt question is... Men would you get a vasectomy? Women would you get your tubes done?
( Peej, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 14:23, 79 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Alright, who broke the internet?
What should I have for lunch?

Yes, I am that bored.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 11:54, 83 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I get the feeling that Al doesn't like me very much
as I may have been slightly antagonistic towards him.

I would like to declare this 'Apology thread' and try to make Al love me as much as he loves djtp.

Who do you need to apologise to? Do it here!

Alt: who needs to apologise to you immediately or else?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 21 Jan 2011, 10:50, 59 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Seeing as Al's too fat to actually pose a question...
Tomorrow is MONTSTOCK 2011. There's been a lot of media speculation about who'll be there, whether Ricky Gervais is going to put noses out of joint with his shocking banter, will Cher turn up in a minge-flashing horror of a dress, is this the year that the McFly boys finally make into the big league etc etc...

There will be tears of joy, howls of disappointment, flying right hooks, diarrhoea - you name it. I ask you to make a prediction - who will be the heroes and villains of this star-studded event of the social year?

('Lampers lamps someone' jokes are banned this year)

WARNING: contains scenes of mild peril and dry meat
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 21 Jan 2011, 9:16, 115 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Who's lurking this evening?
Did anyone watch the truth about drugs tonight?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 20 Jan 2011, 23:30, 11 replies, latest was 15 years ago)