I cannot drink as I am taking prescription painkillers.
So would anyone care for a midweek Youtube disco?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 22:12, 104 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

you can't all have midweek social lives?
What are you doing that is stopping you posting on here?

Alt Q:If you could spend a day as another b3tan who would it be and why?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 20:53, 86 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Man this made me laugh way too hard
img.photobucket.com/albums/v620/theweaselking/main6/9d64cd56.jpg

What's made you laugh today?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 18:56, 14 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Post work time thread for people who are still working
My I-Pod seems very angry tonight, but how was your day?

ALT: Polar bears, grizzly bears, black bears, panda bears or some other bear?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 17:47, 93 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Smells.
It is said that the sense of smell is the one with the strongest links to memory. Certain aromas transport me instantly, such as bonfires which smell of festivals.

What is your favourite smell and why?

Fart jokes will result in a savage kick in the face.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:37, 315 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

lonelyguy72.
My very short story lonelyguy72 is now available for free online.

I've also put out a collection of these, which if anyone's interested is here.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 15:10, 8 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

How do people know when you are drunk?
A friend of mine gets a numb mouth when she drinks white wine, I get a squiffy eye and Chompy "alledgedly" gets handsy.

ALT: Favourite drinks? I have a penchant for a Gin Martini with a twist, NEVER an olive you plebs!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 14:23, 163 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Oh my goodness, look at what I took delivery of today !
i.imgur.com/EQGDR.jpg

I don't even really drink =/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 13:42, 100 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Im eating a Nom yoghurt. What stereotypes do you conform to?

alt q: I've been asked to provide a reference for applebite so she can go mad with petri dishes and stuff. suggestions welcome. What would you write for other betans?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 12:18, 127 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

titmilk
so the titmilk ice cream that was being sold in covent garden has just been banned for health and safety reasons. this and the titcheese that was being sold in new york horrified me but other people on here didn't seem to mind the idea at all.

so: would you try, or have you tried, breastmilk past the age of 12 months?

alt q: what other social conventions would you smash?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 11:24, 134 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Second thread of the day.
The French. I cannot work out how I feel about them.

On the one hand: cognac, cheese, foie gras, fine wines, massive racism, banning burqas, stunningly attractive women.

On the other: lily-livered Vichy cowards who stink of garlic, women with hairy armpits, shit hip hop, going on strike, massive benders.

Where do you stand on our Gallic chums?
(extra points for 'right on their fucking faces, the cunts')
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 10:12, 125 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

First thread of the day.
I thought I should make it exciting, intellectual and thought provoking, and then I thought nah! I'll just call you all a bunch of cunts.


CUNTS!!!

Wassup!
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Mar 2011, 8:21, 189 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Did I break OT?
Sorry.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 21:20, 99 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

OK, I might be tired
I just found the bread in the fridge. I do not remember doing this.

What are you all up to this evening?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 20:20, 88 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

According to the the advertisements on the tellybox this week, colossal bell-end and fat-tongued Mockney twat Jamie Oliver* has set up some sort of class-room experiment for kids who didn't want to learn.

Art is being taught by Rolf Harris and PE is being taught by Daley Thompson.

What teachers do you wish you had when you were at school?

Alt: Dinner/Evening plans.

*I'll watch it, because as much as his campaigning annoys me, I do actually believe his heart is in the right place.

EDIT: A full list of teachers can be found on his website www.jamieoliver.com/tv-books/jamies-dream-school
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 18:45, 94 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

What sort of music ganra would you reckon this is?
I really like songs that I've decided to call "Emo Women (normally getting dumped)", it's the kind of music I really like, it's normally kindda soft-rocky and semi-accusticy.

Examples include
- Avril Lavign (when she's upset)
- Nataley Umbro (when she's getting dumped)
- Lisa Loeb (when she's not writting children's songs)
- Gabrielle (I quite like her upbeat stuff)
- Billy Myers, Merdith Brook, Joan Osborn.

What kind of music do you reckon that is? Do you have any more examples?
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 17:41, 97 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

That thread is gay
Anyway 7/10
www.guardian.co.uk/world/quiz/2011/mar/01/muammar-gaddafi-charlie-sheen-quiz
post your scores.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 16:21, 95 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I've decided to start giving all the gay jibes I receive a mark out of 10
Having accepted that they're here to stay, I might as well let you all know how you're doing. Maybe we could compile a leaderboard for the best entries, or just rename the popular page.

What pleasant or unpleasant knowledge have you come to accept recently?

Alt Q: are there any good band names left unused? The Vaccines. I ask you.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 15:07, 202 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Dear Off Topic'll Fix It,
Last night I dreamed of an Off Topic thread where every answer was meat. Meat, MEAT, meaty, meat. I wonder if you could make my dream come true?
Alt Q: What do you think the question might have been?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 14:00, 172 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Enough of this idle chit chat, it is lunch time
...and with it comes No. 2826 of an increasingly tedious series - The Lunch Thread.

Today I am having a chilli king prawn wrap and a Nom yoghurt (bought for the sole purpose of mentioning it on here!)

Alt Q:
What ailments are you lot suffering from? Today I have back knackage and clickypoppy ears
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 12:37, 164 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Someone on Amberl's facebook said
The Irish suck at comedy with the exception of Father Ted.

I don't know this person so didn't want to start an argument with them but... The IT Crowd, Sean's Show, Soupy Norman, Black Books. Dara O'Briain and Ed Byrne are pretty damn good too.

Q: Which nationality really sucks at comedy. Kein Punkt fur Deutschland.
Alt Q: Miss me?
( djtrialprice, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 11:36, 112 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

That thread is far too Welsh for my liking
So far today I have taken my shirts to be washed and ironed, bought some DIY materials, answered some emails and QA'd a presentation. Generally quite impressed with my effciency.

Why don't people understand the concept of personal space?

ALT: Who would you like to see fight each other and what would the outcome be?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 9:58, 141 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Gid moaning.
Nothing to report, except my back is on the verge of making like a beat and breaking.

What about you?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 7:34, 168 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Friday is national book day or something and I have been told to dress up as
my favourite character from a book, ideas please.

alt q: stupid things you've done for your education.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 21:21, 151 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm a horrible, selfish person.
My friends have some surprise planned for me on Thursday, which I'm dreading. I hate surprises.
And after seeing something on FB, I've come to the conclusion that we will likely be going to a concert.
I hate going to concerts.

Why are you a horrible person?

alt: favorite pick me up drink? I love mocha frapps from starbucks, they're like crack
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 19:13, 167 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

What is this Richard and Judy's book club?
I need a new car, I'm thinking, Golf, Focus or Civic like the the dead inside drone that I am.

Tell me a story about your first/best/worst car?

ALT: Cottage Pie or Shepherd's pie?

ALT ALT: Cottaging or Shepherding?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 15:49, 35 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Defend your favourite author.
If it's that cunt Pratchett I suggest you keep schtum.

Mine is of course David Irving.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 15:24, 114 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Cheer the Fuck Up
What's your patented technique from snapping yourself out of a funk, or for cheering someone else up?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 28 Feb 2011, 14:19, 161 replies, latest was 15 years ago)