Morning poo.
Solidy formed turd with a darkish colour, moderate odour but an unfortunate tarry consistency ruins a potentially world-class brown trout.

6/10
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 11 May 2009, 7:07, archived)

talking of shits
I got caught short yesterday in a field in the middle of nowhere. A quiet sunday morning and no-one around for miles. I couldn't wait any longer so I crouched down with my trousers down, dot leaf in hand when all of a sudden out of nowhere pops up a rambler and his dog. It was very embarassing :(
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 11 May 2009, 7:14, archived)

the way that your little story is written
seems to suggest that the "rambler and his dog" appeared from your bumhole.

or is "rambler and his dog" some kind of poo euphamism?
( bacon and egg roll is going to be big downunder, Mon 11 May 2009, 7:31, archived)

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 11 May 2009, 7:45, archived)

Morning!

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 11 May 2009, 6:32, archived)

bollocks

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 6:48, archived)

Each and every day here is a penance for something we did wrong in a previous life.

( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 11 May 2009, 6:51, archived)

i guess so
yes
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 11 May 2009, 7:01, archived)

Its a beautiful day!
Sun, trees, birds etc.
( Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 11 May 2009, 7:53, archived)

so yeah, I've had this zit on the back of my head for days and it just popped
now it's oozing pus down the back of my neck

what's your favourite thing? I like breasts, coffee and breasts.
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 4:13, archived)

DURAN DURAN

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 11 May 2009, 4:15, archived)

So good they named it twice

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 4:16, archived)

At the moment
sherry and the little bits of dead rabbit my cat has left in the garden.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 4:16, archived)

Night night
you gorgeous fuckers.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 4:23, archived)

you must feel incredibly relieved
me i like sleep and booxe.. of which at the moment i have none.. bastards
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 11 May 2009, 4:37, archived)

16mm film and cameras
and accessible sexual partners. And beer. And marijuana.
( hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Mon 11 May 2009, 4:41, archived)

Dead BMW owners
fuck all this, I'm buying a Volvo
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 11 May 2009, 6:15, archived)

I'm listening to the Pet Shop Boys and drinking sherry
in what way are you gay?
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 3:10, archived)

i like the feel of a cock in my ass
but my donkey complains about the feathers
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 11 May 2009, 3:23, archived)

Burn out its vocal cords with a cigar, then

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 3:28, archived)

that would be my first reaction too, but donkeys are stubborn

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 11 May 2009, 3:30, archived)

Aren't they?
Stubborn, intransigent CUNTS. THE FUCKING CUNTS. I HATE THEM.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 3:34, archived)

I like Duran Duran

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 11 May 2009, 3:57, archived)

I quite like
Same Difference
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 3:59, archived)

I might tattoo that
on my bellend.
Hahahaha I won't though.
CRAZY NIGHTS, EH FRANK?
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 4:05, archived)

I've just decided, when my webshite finally launches I'm going to make it number 1 in google searches for "same difference porn"

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 4:06, archived)

unfortunately you'd be the only one to search for that
/to latharhic to find out who 'same difference' are.. imagines it's a eurovision entry
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 11 May 2009, 4:36, archived)

which is the guy?

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 11 May 2009, 4:14, archived)

good grief, does no one ever watch X Factor?
www.samedifferencemusic.com/grownups/
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 4:38, archived)

19 Apr, 2009 The Eggs Factor Hey All!! Just to let you know that we are joining forces with British Lion Eggs to judge a cooking competition and to get you all eating and cooking healthily with EGGS!!!

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 5:00, archived)

brb
lol afk
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:37, archived)

I'M HERE, SIR!
ROLLCALL
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 11 May 2009, 2:38, archived)

more like "rolls of fat call"

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:39, archived)

ROLLS OF FAT LARD
ROFL
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:41, archived)

I'm on
how goes it, you Tyneside genius?
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:39, archived)

I'm very pent up as it is about the FOOTBALL, Monday night.
I think I'll go have some ALL BRAN.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 11 May 2009, 2:42, archived)

..and watch some "Fringe".

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 11 May 2009, 2:44, archived)

big fringe finale next week!
i'm betting that's all actually set in the matrix
( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:49, archived)

All the best with that
Boro have to lose - any team led by Southgate is on to a loser, nice as he is.
Shearer FTMFW.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:45, archived)

If only he was registered to play.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 11 May 2009, 2:48, archived)

I reckon Owen deserves a go
he can't do much damage to the side's chances, surely?
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:49, archived)

It's not who plays up top.
It's who provides the service from midfield.

:(
We're lacking.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 11 May 2009, 2:55, archived)

I'm surprised Ashley's not been lynched yet.
Surely there are some Geordie ninjas who could get to him?
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:59, archived)

His sports business is fucked, apparently
fat chancer.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 3:06, archived)

YES

(__, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:41, archived)

Why are you up this late, then?
..and who do you prefer, Wormulus or SexFace?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 11 May 2009, 2:42, archived)

I am doing work :(
And I think that's a trick question as they're the same person
(__, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:43, archived)

ONE MUST GO!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 11 May 2009, 2:43, archived)

SexFace. Wormulus is funny sometimes

(__, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:47, archived)

Pretty much this

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:49, archived)

I'm here.
Hopefully I will be able to get some sleep soon.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 11 May 2009, 2:42, archived)

Don't you wake up Badger.
Women know their place!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 11 May 2009, 2:43, archived)

HIYA
I'm gettimg tipsy on sherry.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:42, archived)

*Firm handshakes*
Good luck here.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 11 May 2009, 2:43, archived)

My Mum is coming to the match tomorrow
this might be a good omen.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:48, archived)

meeeeeeeeeeeeee

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:55, archived)

Hurray!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 11 May 2009, 2:56, archived)

lol back now

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:52, archived)

ROFL
OMG U L00N!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 11 May 2009, 2:54, archived)

hello JMG
I hope your lads are going to kick some football bottom tonight
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:57, archived)

I haven't been this done in about a game
for years.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 3:01, archived)

I want to give Stevie Nicks a special cuddle
then steal all her cocaine. What member of Fleetwood Mac would you etc. etc.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:49, archived)

the one with the flute
up his arse
/man bites dog
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 11 May 2009, 1:51, archived)

shush, I'm trying to decide which Olsen twin to arserape first

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:51, archived)

the one on the left

( TBL I posted this on, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:53, archived)

Yeah
arse, gob, arse then gob again if I can be bothered.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:54, archived)

someone should really reply to that last thread
I'd do it myself but I completely do not give a shit
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:56, archived)

I was considering it
I say considering it, I mean not considering it.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:58, archived)

I'm astonished no one seems to have missed Hankster
I say astonished, I mean etc etc
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:06, archived)

4eva in are harts

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:08, archived)

wiv da 4shan now

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:12, archived)

His laptop died.
I speak to him ELSEWHERE, otherwise I would miss him lots.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 11 May 2009, 2:41, archived)

definetly the one on the right
nudecelebs.popuplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/olsens.jpg

who the fuck are they?
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 11 May 2009, 2:04, archived)

Moth killing cunts
by the looks of it.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:05, archived)

put your willy away, that's the most famous fake on the internet
www.gilgamesh.zen.co.uk/images/original.jpg
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:08, archived)

pretty damn good though

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:12, archived)

I might shop Same Difference's faces onto that later

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:15, archived)

Who?

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:19, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/6139564
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:22, archived)

It's inspired me
to photoshop Keith Chegwin's face onto Naomi Campbell's body, then wank like a brain damaged vagrant.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:15, archived)

other way round, surely

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:16, archived)

I'm not sure my laptop
can handle that much sexy.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:18, archived)

shop a brain damaged vagrant's face onto Keith Chegwin's body then wank like Naomi Campbell

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:18, archived)

This confuses me

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:19, archived)

Sexy confusion?

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:20, archived)

needs more brunette

(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 11 May 2009, 2:16, archived)

Mick Fleetwood
just so's I could say I did.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:01, archived)

I'd believe you
even if you hadn't. You look quite convincingly like someone who's slipped Mick Fleetwood a length just to boast about it.
/has never seen Wynoh blog
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:03, archived)

hah
Apparently I look rather like a younger version of Shambles. Not my quote.

edit: here you go
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:18, archived)

*checks profile*
are you sure you're fat and ugly enough for this place?
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:23, archived)

I like to hang around anyway
with a bit of luck, some of it will rub off.
I'm not saying in which direction.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:28, archived)

I'm rubbing off in cowfoot's direction

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:32, archived)

hahah
Please don't take it personal, Gilgy, but I've been dying to type this at someone. Anyone.

WAAANKER!
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:38, archived)

I am in this mood
open.spotify.com/track/4VfV8oWXVkzDNE9JYOoYoV

non spotify

www.youtube.com/watch?v=AM_fpspCq2c
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:10, archived)

My word

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:12, archived)

and
open.spotify.com/track/3w9U99a3vtRNRVdBV5TqSI
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:16, archived)

Hahahaha
"a wild eyed loner standing at the gates of oblivion"
forgotten that intro.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:19, archived)

The best yet is...
open.spotify.com/track/0IqRwmGMHvXDfNO5RWXy6a
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:23, archived)

Get in
haven't heard Warriors Of Ghengis Khan in years.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:25, archived)

WE ARE BAD NEWS AND WE BRING YOU..
MORE BAD NEWS!!!
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:34, archived)

I'm downloading that film RIGHT NOW

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:40, archived)

Best part is when
Rik Mayall steps in dog shit
( executiverocker only wears C&A, Mon 11 May 2009, 2:54, archived)

Blimey
torrent of that from TheBox.bz is coming in at 600kbps. Might even watch it tonight!
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 3:05, archived)

SUCCESS!
WHOO! I hope. Nightnight folks.

/is :D offline
( Bats, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:48, archived)

play well
1.2.3.9/bmi/www.glossynews.com/artman/uploads/olsen-2b.jpg
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 11 May 2009, 2:00, archived)

Facebook cheat?
If you press 'up up down down left right left right B A' then click enter it makes some odd stuff happen to Facebook. I was skeptical at first but tried it out of curiosity and it makes some kind of lens flare.

Just thought I'd share for anyone who gives a damn.
( Terry_Tibbs Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:33, archived)

Ha! Very nice

(__, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:35, archived)

i do that code every morning when i wake up as it makes me invincible for the day

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:35, archived)

I'd really like to bum Anna Ford
over the back of a sofa, whilst getting all the valuations correct on the Antiques Roadshow.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:35, archived)

Vorderman or GTFO

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:38, archived)

Leeming or you're a massive bender

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:39, archived)

I'm applying to go on Countdown just so I can punch Rachel Riley in her smug face.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:40, archived)

it's not rape if you can make five three-letter words from it

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:42, archived)

I just noticed that Hankster stopped posting here about three weeks ago

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:37, archived)

I SAID I NOTICED THAT HANKSTER DOESN'T POST HERE ANY MORE
SOMEONE SHOULD CARE ABOUT THIS
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:47, archived)

sorry
he walked into my knife
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 11 May 2009, 1:53, archived)

I feel awful.
I don't care about the Konami facebook egg. :( My body doesn't know if I need to throw up, have diahorrhoea, or if it's all just wind. This is incredibly uncomfortable.
( Bats, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:38, archived)

You're about to die.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:40, archived)

Oh how useful.
Just as I'm about to move house, dying. Wonderful. What if it's all just wind?
( Bats, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:41, archived)

use an ANTDT or cast HEAL

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:40, archived)

Throw up
shit
then fart.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:41, archived)

I'm unable to do any of these.
It's distressing. It makes me sadface like this :( offline.
( Bats, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:42, archived)

Have a sherry

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:44, archived)

Will red wine do?

( Bats, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:45, archived)

Always
double the recommended dosage.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:46, archived)

bowel cancer

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:44, archived)

HAHAHAHAHAHHA
CANCER
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:49, archived)

The Konami code, you mean?
And you don't click enter. Enter is a button. You press it.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:39, archived)

On my keyboard...
it clicks
( Terry_Tibbs Coarse and violent nudity. Occasional language, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:42, archived)

i've heard of this but as i don't use fb through a console
i can't prove it true
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Mon 11 May 2009, 1:55, archived)

sorry, didn't find that thread very interesting
I want to do the Same Difference bird while her brother wanks over her tits

No question, just thought I should mention it
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:30, archived)

I'd like to be wanked off by Cheryl what is out of Girls Aloud
into that ginger one's hair, then get in a car and drive off really fast.
Ha!
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:32, archived)

Shall I drink some sherry?
I have a penchant for tramp juice all of a sudden.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:34, archived)

What kind of sherry is it?

( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:36, archived)

A cheeky manzanilla
Waitrose had it on offer a few weeks back. I have chorizo and stuff too. GET IN.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:38, archived)

Excellent
I approve strongly.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:58, archived)

as long as you drive over her, that's good with me

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:35, archived)

What's the name of said bird?
One needs to put a face to said fantasy so one can either rebuke or congratulate
(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:33, archived)

I'm in a bar in Houston, on talk via my iPhone
Is this the geekiest thing of the day?! There are women here, with norks and stuff. Surely I should be out there in the land of flange and not conversing with you lot?
(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:06, archived)

Houston
we have a problem.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:07, archived)

I went to the NASA place.
It was shit
(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:08, archived)

That Neil Armstrong
what a fucking bellend. Giving it the big un just cause he done some stepping or whatever.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:10, archived)

That and Wonderful World
what a prink
( applehead herp derp, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:10, archived)

Yeah
she can shove that right up her japsy.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:11, archived)

That was a rhetorical question
So I shan't answer
( applehead herp derp, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:08, archived)

Was it?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:10, archived)

Wozit?
I'm all for the portmanteau. My favourite is wasapnin
( applehead herp derp, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:14, archived)

Was it?
.
(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:13, archived)

WAS IT?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:14, archived)

FUCK IT
.
(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:18, archived)

Was it?

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:14, archived)

Fuck it
get down with some Texas tits, we're still going to be here after you get laid.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:12, archived)

now there stands the voice of reason
Texan tits are teh acest
(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:16, archived)

Pics
or it didn't happen.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:18, archived)

Hahaha
Might be hard from the iPhone but I can try
(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:20, archived)

*fives*

( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:27, archived)

Tried. The image uploaded thing doesn't seem to like iPhones
Shame really
(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:28, archived)

Rape them up
instead.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:30, archived)

Damn
I was looking forward to seeing those.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:37, archived)

i've been to houston
fuck that up your arse
( Mortal Wombatteries not included - Awesome Awesome Awesome, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:24, archived)

I live in Houston
So bollocks to ya :)
(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:27, archived)

I want to put my winky in Gilgamesh
what type of etc. etc. fucking hell, ask your own questions.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:05, archived)

I want Gilgy and Grrrmachine to spitroast me.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:06, archived)

Hahaha
blimey. Bukkaketastic.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:06, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/6137513
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:12, archived)

I want to fondle your buttocks

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:19, archived)

My birthday was nice, but ended up with a grown man crying
And will inevitably end up with some Gunther track playing any minute now I've pointed it out. (Gunther - touch me, DJ Alligator Project remix)

How're you guys? I'm feeling old at 22
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:41, archived)

Did he look directly at you?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:43, archived)

No, too emo for eye contact

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:44, archived)

My car is older than you
If that helps any
(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:44, archived)

Meh

( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:45, archived)

Im 38
And really honestly truely and stuff, life only got less shit when I was something like 35. 22 is like larval phase to me
(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:48, archived)

Thank fuck for that
I have something to look forward to.
Thanks, you've cheered me up.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:49, archived)

you get to look forward to reaping the rewards of years of drudgery
And sit in your hot tub with your cool 41 year old girlfriend and talk for hours about which 80 's songdefined the era. Nekkid. With reeeealy strong margarettas.

Youth is overrated. Middle age is cool. You get to do all the stuff you've always wanted as you now have money :)
(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:55, archived)

Sounds ace
I'll just get on with filling in my job applications.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:56, archived)

Do that
You get nothing if you don't ask :) Good luck.
(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:01, archived)

Cheers
Not seen you on here before, but it's nice to make your acquaintance.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:04, archived)

I've been around a while
I just rarely post these days ;) glad to meet you too *shakes hand with ferver*
(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:11, archived)

Ta
*tips hat*
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:15, archived)

ha!

( lazygamer VS tittybiscuits, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:48, archived)

I'm feeling young at age 29
but you should stop making men cry at your celebrations. It won't increase your popularity.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:47, archived)

Well, it's my ex who hasn't had a shag in months
And was sat with me and my boyfriend facing sleeping in his car.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:48, archived)

Sounds like someone needs a large dose of Man The Fuck Up.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:50, archived)

Good point.

( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:51, archived)

Ouch
sounds like a recipe for bad vibes.
Hope your birthday went well, otherwise.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:50, archived)

Show us your growler

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:49, archived)

Why?
Why would you want that?
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:50, archived)

statistical and training purposes

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:55, archived)

Terrorism, more like.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:56, archived)

I collect growlers

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:04, archived)

I heard that the superconducting quadrupole electromagnets in the Large Hadron Collider are made from a pair of Sammi's old knickers wrapped round a bog brush

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:10, archived)

I heard that the Baroness is JMG's uncle
and he likes to fiddle wiv da kids.
( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 1:13, archived)

Aaah!
My birthday was yesterday and I was 22 as well!
( its_hatorah_bitch is b3ta the devil you know on, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:53, archived)

Happy birthday and stuff like that
I'd have sent a card, but I don't know you, or where you live.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:55, archived)

How the piss can you claim to feel old at 22?
You're a student with sod-all responsibility.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:56, archived)

click I like this if you're bored shitless with hearing about MoT's dissertation
question: what's the best oh I don't bloody know, cockroach repellent or something
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:41, archived)

i find telling them to fuck off works best

( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:43, archived)

My cats
They eat the scabby little fuckers
(Boo-Tokk is like, DUDE, and WHOA, its AWESOME, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:43, archived)

I cook very strongly-flavoured chilli
and have never had any cockroach problems.
These facts may be unrelated, but I'm taking no chances.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:46, archived)

Apart from giant hissing ones at college, in vivs
I've never seen a cockroach
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:46, archived)

no one knows what you mean by "vivs"
and before you start explaining, no one cares either
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:50, archived)

I did
but you're right, I couldn't give a monkey's.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:52, archived)

touch me touch me
let me feel your body
( SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:16, archived)

ORANGE!

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:16, archived)

I just took one of those life expectancy things.
Giving up driving and being less stressed would apparantly be more beneficial to me than quitting smoking.
That's it.
For my health i'm dropping out of college and quitting my job.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:18, archived)

Cool, pluging yourself into financial and academic darkness.
That'll sort the stress out.
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:19, archived)

it would do if you bastards started paying me!

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:21, archived)

I no longer drive
I smoke like a chimney, drink far more than is good for me, and have no job.
It's not much fun, and I'd rather have something useful to do.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:19, archived)

46 pages of 120gsm paper sit in front of me.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 11 May 2009, 0:18, archived)

Oh my. What colour?

( Cae1, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:19, archived)

I did a full 3d plot of the gain profile on pages 29,33 and 35.
So those have all the colours of the rainbow.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 11 May 2009, 0:21, archived)

I hope you can handle them all.

( Cae1, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:37, archived)

I made an error on page 42 and now have to print that page 3 times. :(

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 11 May 2009, 0:40, archived)

Can I touch it?

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:19, archived)

You can touch one of the other copies I'm about to make.
92 pages to go :(
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 11 May 2009, 0:22, archived)

*turns on leafblower*

( weaver., Mon 11 May 2009, 0:21, archived)

I'm wearing a poncho
An alpaca wool poncho
( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:19, archived)

My God, man
how much sexiness can you pack into such a lithe frame?
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:21, archived)

It's got a flipping hood.
It's more an item of clothing than a bit of cloth with a hole in it

I FEEL LIKE SOME SORT OF WOOLEN MONARCH
( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:22, archived)

*Man With No Name comparison*
*cigar smoulders*
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:24, archived)

*toothpicks*

( GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:31, archived)

Good work
you'll be wanting to lob a stick of dynamite next.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:32, archived)

*Tentatively touches*
RIGHT, I'm off to bed. Goodnight internets peoples.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:21, archived)

Thank fuck for that

( wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:23, archived)

*bokes*

answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aub.8Wf8rt9WduErSENDJBgjzKIX;_ylv=3?qid=20090510124238AAb7Ex8
( weaver., Mon 11 May 2009, 0:22, archived)

Another thriller from SickRik!

( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:24, archived)

My boyfriend has a gunther tshirt!
It's awesomely shit
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:40, archived)

Hey internet!
Cyberfavourite JMG here.
What's your news?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 11 May 2009, 0:08, archived)

People keep telling me to die, JMG.
It's people I've never even met or for that matter, heard of before.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:09, archived)

Dammit, Brayn
you've every reason to live, man.
Do it for all of us. Especially SS.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:10, archived)

The internet people?
Terrible people.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 11 May 2009, 0:10, archived)

It was a light hearted death wish.
Jeez!
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:11, archived)

Printing Jammy,
and fearing.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 11 May 2009, 0:09, archived)

CHIN UP, MoT!
Chin up..
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Mon 11 May 2009, 0:10, archived)

I may adopt a Geordie accent for my viva,
in honour of all your words of support.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 11 May 2009, 0:12, archived)

I have no news today cyberregular.

( Cae1, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:17, archived)

That advert for some sort of fake tan was just on the telly.
You know the one, the one that pronounces sublime as 'sub-leem'.

I'm going for a smoke when I should be quitting. Anyone else quitting anything?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:48, archived)

I'm quiting being a cunt.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 23:50, archived)

Congrats!
That's next on my list.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:54, archived)

near the middle
best bogroll EVER
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:57, archived)

Who the fuck looks at the shit rag after use?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:59, archived)

it's certainly put me off using it for jizz mopping purposes

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:05, archived)

As it would anyone.
It reminds me of an advert that used to be on a bus around here. Sexual health warning, big cheesy grinning cartoon boy shouting "I'VE GOT CHLAMYDIA" at anyone who looked at his daft, grinning mush.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:09, archived)

can't be as good as those French AIDS awareness posters
OMG HAWT
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:14, archived)

Haha!
I've not seen these. Lolz indeed.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:16, archived)

YAY
Spider rape
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:17, archived)

she loves it
the filthy french cow

although the spider will probably lose interest when he sees her hairy armpits
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:28, archived)

Don't forget to mention garlic
it brings the house down every time.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:31, archived)

DONT BE A CANCER CHANCER

(__, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:00, archived)

I'm not quitting anything.

( Cae1, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:51, archived)

Now I'm quitting not speaking my mind.
Fake tan is shit and if you're going to use it i hope you end up like david dickinson.
( Cae1, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:52, archived)

Luckily, I despise fake tan.
Phew!
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:55, archived)

Good.
Dickensonism is the plague which is slowly sweeping the world, turning everyone into orange bargain hunting zombies.
( Cae1, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:07, archived)

No. This is a shit thread for people who don't need to quit anything.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:52, archived)

I'll quit posting threads then.
When you quit life.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:54, archived)

Why does everyone keep telling me to die tonight?
I'm being bullied on the internet.
This must be how it feels for JMG.
:(((((
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:56, archived)

Aww bless.
I'm sorry, I don't really want you to die. Honest.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:00, archived)

I clicked print

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Mon 11 May 2009, 0:06, archived)

Nothing maybe whining/caring.
i'm organizing a party/gathering.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:56, archived)

Trying to quit Nutella.
I'm going to go and eat some Nutella.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:03, archived)

No bread, no spoon,
just fingers, dipped in the nutella pot eh?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:05, archived)

Well I have a spoon.
Sometimes it's just the fingers though. I go through a medium jar per week.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:08, archived)

I'm quitting this ridiculous life of arsing about and heavy drinking
it's time I grew up and took life seriously.
I'm printing off the application form to be a cop. Yay me.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:08, archived)

BAAAACON

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:09, archived)

*snorts*

( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:11, archived)

I need a poo.
But it's bed time.
Tomorrow mummy buys me a sub woofer.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:29, archived)

I did a poo once.
Interesting story.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:30, archived)

One time, i did a poo
and when i went to wipe more poo came out.
( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sun 10 May 2009, 23:32, archived)

I HATE WEN THAT PENS

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:32, archived)

Do you scrunch or fold?
:(
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:33, archived)

What sort of peasant lacks the hand-eye coordination to fold?

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sun 10 May 2009, 23:34, archived)

It could be argued that there is more coverage when scrunched.
Seems safer to me.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:38, archived)

I'm going to hospital tomorrow if I don't feel better.
AWESOME fun.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 10 May 2009, 23:31, archived)

You feel fine to me.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:31, archived)

I'm going to cry down the phone at a doctor in the morning.
I want proper drugs or a radical headectomy.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:32, archived)

Have you been sneezing up bacon?

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Sun 10 May 2009, 23:32, archived)

Try not to sneeze and boobs lol again.
Okey dokey?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:32, archived)

I have a less cleavage enhancing, less plungy bra.
No boobage again. Promise.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 10 May 2009, 23:38, archived)

Well dones!
I wish you all the best in future hospital/boob scenarios.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:39, archived)

Man up.
Hospitals are for quitters and virgins.
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:33, archived)

Psssssst. Wicca'd is a virgin.
Pass it on
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Sun 10 May 2009, 23:36, archived)

I've got two
One for my telly and one lashed up to the pc for floor rumbling neighbour abuse
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:31, archived)

well mine is pimped out to the max
chrome wheele things, blue lights under it and a pretty spoiler.
( Cae1, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:35, archived)

I still can't bring myself to press "print".

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 23:48, archived)

Ctrl+p.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:50, archived)

What if I've missed something out?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 23:54, archived)

so, right, I tell her to buy bog roll
and she brings back some free arse paper from a bowel cancer charity giveaway

it's got warning messages about what to do if you find blood coming out of your bumhole and a cartoon picture of a guy with blood dripping out of his crapper
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:49, archived)

I'm going to photograph it for you now

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:50, archived)

I bet it gives you arse cancer.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:51, archived)

True story
This mongy kid used to hang around the station, he wanted to work on the railway but is that stupid he has trouble walking and breathing at the same time. Once a bloke asked him to nip round to Morrisons to get him some fags, just to get the cunt away for a few minutes. Billy asked him what sort he wanted. Bensons was the answer. But what if they didn't have those? Anything would do. So he came back with a pork pie.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:56, archived)

mongy bloke where I used to work had terrible bowel trouble
One day he crapped himself in the warehouse. Someone stepped in it and skidded (lol skidded) backwards and broke his arm.
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:00, archived)

I bet he laughed like a drain for days

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Mon 11 May 2009, 0:01, archived)

Ollie Reed was one of the greatest ever actors
and personalities. If I could go for a pint with anyone living or dead it would be him, churchill or a young john lydon


what about you?
( SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:27, archived)

HAHA, YES!

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:27, archived)

Josh Homme
or Dave Grohl
or Jack Black.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:28, archived)

All of your choices suck.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:29, archived)

All of your Mums Suck!

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:30, archived)

Suck! are belong to us!
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:31, archived)

The drinking man's drinking man.
I would also enjoy boozing with him.
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:29, archived)

He wouldn't want to sit with you.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:29, archived)

Keith Moon.

( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 10 May 2009, 23:31, archived)

Threadrush.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:27, archived)

More of a dawdle than a rush
Hello
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:28, archived)

Have you stopped being shit at food yet?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:28, archived)

You hopeless philistine.
I had fish and chips and got terrible wind from it. It's all rather depressing.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:30, archived)

New post

(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:26, archived)

'bout time.

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:26, archived)

Reply

( ArthurTheRat, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:26, archived)

Safe.
*does east-side symbol with right hand*
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:28, archived)

Funny comment

( Major Turd for tonight only, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:26, archived)

Haha. Pfft. Arf!
Honk honk.
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:27, archived)

AROOOGA!

( Major Turd for tonight only, Sun 10 May 2009, 23:27, archived)