/talk's John Bercow Appreciation ThreadThis thread is for appreciative discussion about John Bercow. If you just want to say 'alright' it will be interpreted as support for John Bercow. If you just want to say fuck off, it will be interpreted as support for John Bercow.
Hurrah for John Bercow, the best Speaker we ever had!
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brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 14:11,
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I dont truly know how to respond. Cheers.
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willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 14:23,
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Thank you for your support of John Bercow in this, /talk's John Bercow Appreciation Thread.(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 18:32,
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Clearly he hates this countryloudly distancing himself from the party and the PM that we the people chose to lead, and going off to join sir kier hindsight
(, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 15:14, archived)
He always seemed just a bit too pleased with himself for my taste.Still, blatant attempt to secure a place in the Lords from Surkeir seeing as how Boris wouldn't give him one, well played.
(, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 16:43, archived)
he should have smacked more people around the head(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 17:18,
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Morning threadI've been away for a week, off the grid in a holiday cottage. What have I missed from the interwebs?
Also, it's fathers day. Anyone doing anyhting for it?
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willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 8:53,
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Going down the shore later to see killerkitti and her partner, lunch by the bay, MODERATE DRUGS(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 12:37,
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I remember when she was in her early teens, presumably she's in her 50s by now.(, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 16:40, archived)
28 factorial is pretty bloody old./mathlols
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Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 20 Jun 2021, 23:11,
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I've also been "cottaging", so to speak.In Cornwall. It was lovely. No kid burnt my neck.
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Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 20 Jun 2021, 12:49,
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just had an epic lunch, might watch John Wick 2(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 14:21,
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On second thoughts I may have posted too soon(
Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 17:06,
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I guess that finding arrogant, abrasive guitarists unpleasant, no matter how talented they are, counts as autism(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 17:16,
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yeah yeah OKit's just that whenever anyone mentions music around here, the conversation becomes: I like so-and-so's music and if you don't like so-and-so's music, you're the giantest stupidest stupid-head in the history of stupid.
then: no u!
then: NO UUUU!!!!!!
etc.
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 18:46,
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Wouldn't it be better if everyone liked exactly the same things(, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 19:04, archived)
stop misunderstanding me on purpose(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 19:24,
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got SCALPING on the go here, kind of a Young Gods vibe.Dribble might like, TAH might like, Queef won't like because it's not Godflesh enough.
(, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 19:47, archived)
yeah, that's not bad at allIMHO
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 19:56,
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dunno how recent they are but they have that mid 90s industrial soundBit like Young Gods but the guitars sound live.
Giving The Fragile another go, I'm a massive Downward Spiral fan and I've never really seen eye to eye with its follow up. A mate swears it's better though and I trust his chops on this stuff.
(, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 20:00, archived)
deffo, that industrial bass is gr8(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 20:31,
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my favourite ever house track is Hold on to Your Love by Joeski & Onionz, make of that what you will.(, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 20:35, archived)
Alright that, cheer's.First one I listened to was vaguely Interlock minus the vocals. But another was just straight techno.
(, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 20:25, archived)
I didn't say I disliked anyone's musicI don't like Yngwie Malmsteen as a person
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 20:13,
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Might buy everything Dave Grohl ever recorded and then tell everyone how brilliant he is(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 11:11,
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I remember b3ta user 'riverghost' telling me that Dave Grohl was his cousin.I'm sure it's true, he would have no reason to tell lies on the internet.
(, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 11:43, archived)
You’re just pretending not to be impressed that riverghost could make up any cool cousin he wanted. (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 19:13,
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he definitely seems to be an alright guyfor any given definition of a right given him being a famous
I wouldn't voluntarily listen to his music though
(, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 11:48, archived)
ya'll just jelly cos he got money n bitches, yo(
Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 11:49,
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Foo Fighters had to abandon releasing a greatest hits album when Dave couldn't stop writing the title(, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 13:37, archived)
they only have two songs, they just release them over and over and over and over(, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 14:44, archived)
17 mile trail run followed by pub laterWhat about you?
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Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 14:39,
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dunno m8 lolmight watch the association football later, naff all else to do eh
(, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 14:44, archived)
Totally fucking fed up todayMight bonk a bullfinch
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 14:53,
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ps once again I have had my prejudices regarding the former Nirvana and Queens of the Stone Age drummer confirmedhis next project will be Bee Gees covers, sung in falsetto, under the name the Dee Gees.
He needs gassing.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 14:56, archived)
Dave Grohl?I was under the impression he is almost universally liked. I don't know, I've never met the man, nor have I seen enough interviews with him to form a proper opinion
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 16:05,
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He's famously nice as pieComes across really well in the Lemmy film which is my only exposure to the chap, seems to be a really enthusiastic guy who's a fan getting to live the dream and seems super grateful for it. I wouldn't buy a record off him though, unless it was by someone else lol
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 16:47,
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he seems to release an album every five minutes, which is nigh on impossible to do with consistent qualityThe only exception to that rule are Aussie psychedelic merchants King Gizzard who are unbelievably prolific and almost always outstanding, despite their silly name. Incredible musicians, really impressive.
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 16:55,
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yeah I've heard good things about King Gizzard but the silly name puts me offWhich seeing as I'm quite keen on Scottish hip hop experts 'Jazz Spastiks' is a bizarre stance to take, but there you go, it is what it is.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 16:57, archived)
They've done albums in totally different styles from acoustic-y folk stuff to near-on death metal, you most likely won't like it allNonagon Infinity is their best one. They got into customising their guitars, adding frets to create middle eastern scales and so on, and fucking complex time signatures - from a technical perspective alone they are really fucking impressive.
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 17:01,
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Fuck no, we're not talking about semi-competent 'art noise' with waki tunings here(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 17:05,
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check it out, fucking awesomewww.youtube.com/watch?v=0rXwufFoJYw
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 17:15,
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there aren't many things that make me so keen to drop acid(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 17:31,
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-acid +through a trapdoor with a rope around my neck(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 18:01,
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Been a pleasure working with you on this one Queef(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 20:59,
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Yeah, in what little I have seen of him, he seems pretty down to earth at leastYou know these rock and rollers!
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 16:52,
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Tell Yngwie Malmsteen he's a bellendAnd ask him if he wants a doughnut. He'll know what it means
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 17:02,
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k, just did that - 1) he says you're fucking well out of order for bringing that up and
2) according to him it is actually *you* who's the bellend
All I know is you can't both be right
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 17:07,
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this entire thread (except for my contribution, of course) is a deafening roar of autism(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 19:14,
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that's exactly what I'd expect a crippling internet autism to say(, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 19:50, archived)
got to go into town tomorrowto buy my dad a present and find out how much the tattoo i want will cost.
sunday i'll be going to give my dad his present
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 15:48,
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Yes, I've been wearing rubber pants(
broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 15:53,
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that sounds terribly uncomfortable(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 16:03,
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Nothing special tbhSpaghetti Aglio e Olio e Salsiccia tonight, not sure what to do 2moz, kid over on Sunday for slow roast leg of lamb.
At some point I fully expect to penetrate a puffin
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 16:52,
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I'm having a ruby tonightThe downside being, I have to have it with my in-laws
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 17:01,
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haha, I call mine 'the outlaws' because - and you probably don't know this - I'm funny as fuck(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 17:08,
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afternoon knoblet's, Queef Richard's here with a beautifully-proportioned afternoon threadConveniently situated in a highly sought after area of b3ta, with great transport links to /FAQ and /calendar. Perfect for the young family or first-time autist. The Magic Donkey has already had a LOT of interest, so asking price* posts or above are recommended.
*50p
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 12:05,
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we've just had a massive shoe rack delivered which I've already fucked up by removing all parts from their bagsI didn't notice that each polythene bag was actually numbered and now we've no idea what goes where as they all look the fucking same*. I'm now in the shit with my wife and have been banished to the loft. Sadly this is the closest I'm going to get to racking shoe this weekend due to advanced penury.
lol penury
*brb alert
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 12:08,
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have you consiered being less of a wanker?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 12:09,
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briefly, but I decided in the end that it just wasn't 'me', yeah?(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 12:12,
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Basically I am *such* a smeg-head that a half-blind cancer patient is preferable to me for manual domestic tasks(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 12:17,
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i'm not sure any of us are particularly surprised(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 12:36,
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lol, ham(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 12:09,
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It's all kicking offCovid kicking off. Who would have guessed that the end of exams and them all getting together to party and luck eachothers faces could cause a spike in covid cases in a small community of people.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 8:31,
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whoopsbiggest age ranges for covid are now 5-16 and 16-24 I read
my sister-in-law's kids (13 and 16) in NYC both had their first jabs a few weeks ago, reckon they might roll out vaxes to kids here soon
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 8:35,
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The apprentice is getting his next week,So they're getting there for the young ones
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 8:51,
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Ah, I see(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:02,
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I'll make it more than just a physical dream I wanna face you lucker baby coz you make me wanna scream(, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:09, archived)
Am actually in the actual real officegot sopping, soaking wet on the way in.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 8:59,
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It has gone a touch biblical (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:02,
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LolNo you isnt.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:11,
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he isn't real though.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:26,
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The next one will be a one legged black lesbian if the BBC have their way(, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:56, archived)
"Richard Blackwood", remember himhis Wikipedia page is something special
(, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 11:12, archived)
I just put in a solid hour of high intensity cycling so it's reeking even more than usualthought you might like to know
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 11:22,
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u no wotI don't reckon it's possible to kill someone with a pillow.
I reckon it's BULLSHIT.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 12:03, archived)
like this on and off all weekend I feardoing anything with the kids Sunday? I am legally obliged to spend fathers day with mine - which means 2 x 2hr round trips in a day because she's been mollycoddled so much she can't get from the isle of dogs to east ham and back on her own, and she's 13 mid july. pathetic
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 8:39,
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I doubt it. Nothing planned. Whys it take so long from east ham in? (
mongychops, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 8:53,
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it's an awkward journeyeither:
isle of dogs to poplar on the bus, then another bus to east ham and a walk or
isle of dogs to canary wharf then 2 tubes and a walk or
isle of dogs to mile end, tube to east ham and a walk
pain in the arse. I booked a restaurant in canary wharf then it occurred to me that I pick her up at 10:30 and drop her back @ 5:30, so hanging around there all day will be annoying and expensive, better to bring her home and loaf around here and I'll cook
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:02,
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Learn do drive you lazy sod(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 10:57,
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not reallya combination of brexit and ebay being cunts has ruined my afternoon
(, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 17:49, archived)
ebay are total cuntsas are amazon.
Selfridges are even worse (if you're a retailer): 'oh some delusional prick piped up with a spurious and frankly laughable complaint about your goods so we gave them a £25 gift voucher to shut them up, rather than telling them to get fucked. You now owe us £25. Plus admin.'
Bunchacunts
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 18:11,
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. Never forget, hold a grudge, let it eat you inside recoup that 25 quid Then move on , hth
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mongychops, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 20:30,
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I heard they don't even sell fridges.The fucking twats.
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Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 17 Jun 2021, 21:12,
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Get your money back by making laughable complaints about someone else's products(, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 0:21, archived)
I was going to say a thing here about American return policies, but it’s not like total no-questions returns are free; it’s built into the price of everythingIt also encourages a different approach to shopping. It’s very common for Americans to buy three different versions of something with the full intention of returning two of them. It’s regarded as a completely reasonable way to check things out properly at home. But like I said, there’s a retail cost, and there’s a hidden environmental cost due to transport, particularly when you get to the scale of Amazon, which handles tens of millions of returns a day.
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mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 5:20,
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I think we should just go back to barteringwith whatever you managed to loot from your neighbour's hut after you brained him with a club.
(, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 6:58, archived)
I Barter With You, You Dirty Old Bollocks(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 12:04,
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Good afternoon, spackattack'sIt is I...the Sheriff of Nadding-ham!
Haha, not really, it's me (Queef). Very boring day for me, I can't process any payments as SagePay is down. How r u lol
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:08,
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Living the dream Queef, legal weed and good weather.(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:15,
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happy days m8we've got rain here now but tbh it was needed, was muggy as fuck the past couple of nights
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:23,
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Yeah well you don't want to know what I'm thinking right now m8(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:40,
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what a coincidence, I had pork and sage sausages for lunch(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:24,
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it's OK, it was vegetarian sage(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:31,
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They grow towards the sun. They know when to flower. End of argument. (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 5:32,
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Hot and sweaty, m8Now it's stopped raining, it's gone back to being humid
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:31,
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perfect weather for mosquitoes(I don't mean the WWII aeroplanes)
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:40,
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"A tall and evil shape, mounted upon a black horse… The rider was robed all in black, and black was his lofty helm"(
Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:31,
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I told you not to stir your Guinness like that(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:43,
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Get in my cabinet, Debbie. Get in there. You like it rough, don't you, you dirty little minx? You want my enchanted wand, don't you. Say "yes, Paul".(, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 13:44, archived)
Wizbit really took a dark turn in the later series(
Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 13:46,
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Lots of sweatys already in town , fucking scotch nobs (
mongychops, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 13:53,
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ffs wife's just got back from the opticianssteroids have fucked up her eyesight and now she needs cataracts op: 6 month waiting list, this just gets better and better
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 14:04,
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they've almost certainly fucked up more than just her eyesight, bones for example, but we don't have regular check ups for those(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 14:38,
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she's already had arthritis surgery, great to know more lols are in the pipeline(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 14:40,
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has her bench gone up though?(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 14:51,
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They dont warn you of that when you are beasting it in the pit (
mongychops, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 14:24,
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I've definitely witnessed some 'roid rage as well(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 14:39,
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Just realised that you said "spackattack"Not heard that since the late 80's. See also; dick splash
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 16:00,
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At a quick glance I really did think you were boasting you'd had two bowel movements this morningand was about to congratulate you.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 8:44,
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nope, just the oneall I can say is it was evident that a) I had spent most of yesterday on the waz and b) my dinner contained quite a lot of turmeric
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 8:49,
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Did you sing the Elton John classic, 'Goodbye, Yellow Slick Turd' as it dribbled out of you?(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 17 Jun 2021, 10:04,
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no, I sang 'out, demons out' by the edgar broughton band(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 10:58,
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which one have you got?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:00,
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get bent you az pricks, pfizer rules (
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:39,
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I hope you get cvst (
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:47,
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I'm conflicted.I'm also in the double-Pfizer group, but as a pharmaceutical company they are the biggest cunts of the lot.
(, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 10:20, archived)
I got the Moderna vaccine and I haven't had any major diseases since, so it seems to be super-effective against everything.(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:08,
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We've got two builders demolishing the conservatorythey have the squeakiest wheelbarrow I've ever heard. It's almost operatic.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 8:45,
archived)
My god, I'd not thought of thatbut if it's true they have the most talented annii (is that the plural of anus?) ever
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 8:59,
archived)
don't get me started on ghastly proles talking about 'referenda'(, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:08, archived)
Like falling into a prickly patch of cactuses(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:09,
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This is referendumb even by your standards(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:09,
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i met up with the band for the first time in a year last nightand the lead singer turns out to be an anti-vaxx nutter, so now i need to find a new band
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:00,
archived)
not you(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:08,
archived)
What, you mean not being anti-vax isn't enough to get you into the band?harsh.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:10,
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Get yourself a kazoo, then you'll have everything.(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:06,
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Ok, I'll do it, but I only play German death reggae these daysAnd I swapped all my guitars for a tongue drum
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 10:54,
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Well, good luckmake sure you don't demonstrate any literacy or numeracy.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:27,
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haha, don't forget to 'letters' know how you get on!!!(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:30,
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you'll be given the sack every day!!!!!1111!!!!11!!(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:37,
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If they offer you the job tell themyou’ll get back to them between 7am and 6pm Mon-Friday and if there’s no one in to offer the job to a neighbour
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Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 10:15,
archived)
Well, now the powerhad to switch it off for a bit for the builders but now everything's working again.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 11:12,
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Did somebody say "tiny penus"?!?!Warm, isn't it. I'm going to the supermarket after dinner. Where are you going after dinner? You can't say early 1930's Germany
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 15:13,
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going to pick up my new hard disk, which has arrived(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 15:19,
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Speaking of hardlook upon mine tiny penus, ye mighty and despair!
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 15:33,
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Ah fair enoughWe're just in the rhythm of eating between 5 and 6. Might change as the kids get older, perhaps
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 15:33,
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to pick up my daughter from cubs I thought I already told you this on mumsn3t.com/talk
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 16:05,
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You did, I just thought you might have left already(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 16:16,
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Why, to the withdrawing roomwhere else?
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 16:19,
archived)
The bathroom, for my customary post-dinner meaty shit(
Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 16:25,
archived)
It is too hot for meaningful work, so I'm on strike until sundown.After dinner I'll play either some KSP, or FLS, or some Civ while watching this new Star War.
(
brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 16:32,
archived)
Sounds ideal for some meaningless work, OTOH.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 16 Jun 2021, 17:40,
archived)
Hush little Richard, don't say a wordDaddy's crimping off a giant turd
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 19:25,
archived)
Daddy better lay off the curried shrimp...(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 16 Jun 2021, 20:38,
archived)
Go on, say something about "proud" now.You know, about standing proud.
I mean, like a man's member.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 13:47, archived)
it's just that some people find what you said to be a bit racist(, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 14:02, archived)
Fuck off! 'Rebecca Front'. I'm Rebekah Front. 'Rebecca Front'. Wanker.(, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 14:27, archived)
Post a new messagemorning
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 7:56,
archived)
morningwelcome to the day of the hump
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 8:05,
archived)
This evening I am going for beer and pizzain Elephant & Castle.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 8:22,
archived)
It is very excitingwe're meeting up with some friends who've not hung out as a group in, oooh, must be the best part of 18 months now.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 8:30,
archived)
I still haven't met back up with any of my pre-lockdown mates yetand not scheduled to until 1 July
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 8:46,
archived)
I have had a good night's sleeptwice in a row now which is good
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 8:23,
archived)
Sleep is always good, I had a crap nights sleep so went for an early run(
Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 8:25,
archived)
Last week I awoke at 4am and went for a rideout on the motorbikeI do like London at sunrise in the summer
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 8:29,
archived)
Roads must have been quiet, perfect for riding!At least I’m guessing they were quiet, I’ve not been to London in years
(
Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 8:32,
archived)
I've been out so rarely on itI just wanted to get the engine to temperature and get on a dual carriageway to at least rev it to 8/9k, get the vtec to kick in.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 8:50,
archived)
or you could just delete your account(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 9:10,
archived)
no but I'm just sayingyou shouldn't be afraid to take advantage of all the options available
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 9:21,
archived)
woah, thanks man, I could even cut my own hands off to prevent me typing a popular url into a browser, or maybe even commit suicide!(, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 9:24, archived)
you see? you're spoiled for choice, really(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 9:29,
archived)
morningdo you know what can piss RIGHT off? Yodelling dominos adverts, piss off dominos.
(
broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 9:45,
archived)
u no wot m8There's a Dominos about 3/4 of a mile up the road from me, and EVERY TIME I order from them the delivery takes LONGER THAN IT WOULD TAKE FOR ME TO FUCKING WALK THERE AND BACK and THE PIZZA IS ALWAYS COLD WHEN IT FINALLY ARRIVES.
I just want that branch to burn down with their staff and drivers trapped in the building, does that make me a bad person????
(, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 9:55, archived)
Order a Domino's pizza in the first place makes you a bad personburning the place down afterwards doesn't really do much to alter that
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 10:05,
archived)
sometimes needs must mateThere's a wise old Scottish saying: You can only piss with the cock you've got.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 10:06, archived)
Bullshit. You could chop it off and still piss out of the stump.(, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 10:17, archived)
You say "every time" - how many times has this happened now?Would it not be a better idea to order from a different business, if they're so consistently bad?
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Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 16 Jun 2021, 10:17,
archived)
um, I think twiceI use them so infrequently that I probably take the view that their delivery drivers have worked out that they only need to drive in a straight line for less than a mile to reach my street, but my hopes are cruelly dashed.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 10:24, archived)
At 3/4 mile, you could always just pick it up in personif that's a thing
I don't ever do takeaways so dunno
(, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 10:27, archived)
that's what irks me innit, it takes them longer to get here than it would take me to get there and pick it upMight move to North Korea in protest at this affront to my human rights.
(, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 10:31, archived)
It really is a first world problemcook a joyless frozen pizza instead and save yourself the price of a London Pint
(, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 10:35, archived)
Hello.Hi
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Jun 2021, 10:05,
archived)
MorningI got a new neck for my Fender-franken-Jazz
Roasted maple. Gonna try and put the whole thing together this weekend and see how it looks.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 10:21,
archived)
Nop. Someone gave me a Squier Jazz. It's cheap but plays nicely but I thought I'd have a go at tarting it up a bit. I had a few bits lying around - bridge, tuners. Thought I'd get an upgrade neck and I get a 20% discount from Fender because I'm a student (?!?!) lol!
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 11:41,
archived)
Hmm. Jazz basses tend to be short scale. Might make intonation trickyGood luck though! Sounds fun
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 12:14,
archived)
Also (and I'm sure you've checked this)The neck pockets of the Squiers (and the mexis, for that matter) are sometimes different to the American ones, meaning the necks won't fit. Worth checking
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 12:28,
archived)
Jazz scale length is 34"pretty standard, and Fender and Squire are interchangeable up to the high end elite jobs or those mid-late 70s ones with 3 bolts. I'll try in a bit but should be fine.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 14:03,
archived)
Sam Fender is much younger than John Squire though, he'll probably last longer.(, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 14:28, archived)
Is this some kind of sex thing?I don't understand.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 14:47,
archived)
I'm having a weak lager in spoonsDay off, huzzah
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 11:53,
archived)
surely it would be easier to drink out of a glass lol(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 12:33,
archived)
Vive la FranceFick Deutschland
hahahaha
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Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 21:58,
archived)
It's fine, somehow they thought I'd go to milton kenyes on friday. I'm better off (
mongychops, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 19:38,
archived)
hey it's national beer daywww.beerdaybritain.co.uk/
might have a hoppy, complex IPA with hints of smegma and dungeons and dragons
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 20:00,
archived)
might have a chocolate stout with dark, paedo undertones and a whiff of caravan park bogs(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 20:02,
archived)
might have a SHIT ON A DOG'S TITSthen hose it off with my smelly piss into a bottle and sell it with a picture of fucking Gandalf on it to fat, speccy knobstains
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 20:03,
archived)
Those shitty little micro pubs were all I had not long ago. Dont go near the fuckers now (
mongychops, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 20:20,
archived)
*instantly offers job of Head of Marketing at Wychwood*(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 15 Jun 2021, 21:05,
archived)
I take great offence at this, YOUR BLOCKED(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 19:59,
archived)
Hey, as long as someone's talking about mine tiny penus, it will have all been worth it(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 21:12,
archived)
Lol, Peninnis Headwww.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-57483562
(, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 21:53, archived)
It is the afternoonI am struggling with motivation and would really like to fuck off down The Red Lion for a pizza and a few lagers.
Would that be OK? Thanks in advance
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:31,
archived)
i'll join you(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:35,
archived)
I've signed off your request and updated the holiday absence log.(, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:38, archived)
lollog sounds like a swords and sorcery characteror a partial racism
(, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:41, archived)
Yeah, get the police involved and everythingthis is all very serious stuff
(, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:35, archived)
I don't mean to brag, but the flexible working arrangements I now have mean that I could do something like this as long as I still get the work doneOh wait, yeah I do mean to brag, soz
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:51,
archived)
are you flxible enough to stick your own head up your arse mate(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:52,
archived)
I'm in the pub , I read that ginger is good for bad guts, so I'm having a bottle of alcoholic ginger beer, it's not helping (
mongychops, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:00,
archived)
Gay slang is not really my remit, try chatting to other homosexuls (
mongychops, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:24,
archived)
It really does work, maybe you simply haven't had enough of themHave 6 more and a whisky mac on the side
Disclaimer: whisky macs are fucking foul
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:34,
archived)
liven up your whisky macs with a shot of liquorice liqueur(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:40,
archived)
euch, nein dankeedit: hang on, liquorice is a laxative isn't it. You big meanie
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:46,
archived)
is it? I didn't know thatI'm quite fond of a whisky mac myself
sans liquorice though
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:51,
archived)
when I was about 15 I downed a pint of Stone's Ginger Wine in one for a darewon't be doing that again
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:52,
archived)
go on, I dare you(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:56,
archived)
damn it, you know my Achilles' heel, I can never turn down a dare(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:59,
archived)
I just fancy a nap right now(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:04,
archived)
go now, i'll cover for you(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:05,
archived)
good manif I dream of any miracle stomach remedies, I'll let you know
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:08,
archived)
Would you like to collect your P45 in personor shall I have it posted to you?
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:33,
archived)
I'm going to come round your house in the middle of the night tomorrow and shit in the cement mixeramongst other nefarious deeds
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:36,
archived)
While it's running?That'd be tiktok gold
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 14:52,
archived)
You run your mixer overnight?Christ, I bet the neighbours love you
(, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 15:19, archived)
I don't tell the builders how to run the projectthey are experts in their field. I'll leave them to their own plunging arse-crack trouser lines, choice of Heart FM and cement mixer etiquette.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 16:31,
archived)
i insist that you do it immediately(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 15:42,
archived)
I had to make do with 'going for a 3 lap walk of the park and then to the supermarket'It wasn't as good tbh
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 15:58,
archived)
shamestill, almost quitting time for those of you with jobs, so you can spend some of your hard-earned wages on booze
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 16:19,
archived)
I've just emailed my boss asking for tomorrow off(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 16:57,
archived)
that's the spirit(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 17:05,
archived)
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