/talk's John Bercow Appreciation Thread
This thread is for appreciative discussion about John Bercow. If you just want to say 'alright' it will be interpreted as support for John Bercow. If you just want to say fuck off, it will be interpreted as support for John Bercow.

Hurrah for John Bercow, the best Speaker we ever had!
( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 14:11, archived)

I dont truly know how to respond.



Cheers.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 14:23, archived)

Thank you for your support of John Bercow in this, /talk's John Bercow Appreciation Thread.

( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 18:32, archived)

AWWWW DAHHHHH

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 14:43, archived)

he was well eloquent

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 14:54, archived)

Welloquent

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 20 Jun 2021, 15:35, archived)

Clearly he hates this country
loudly distancing himself from the party and the PM that we the people chose to lead, and going off to join sir kier hindsight
(dribble, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 15:14, archived)

^chuntering from a sedentary position

( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 17:49, archived)

Jacob Ree-Cum-Bent

(dribble, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 19:37, archived)

Mr Peter Bowne!
twitter.com/rhodri/status/1111254719777914881
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 15:30, archived)

^Bercow Bumboy

( broadsword now that's fresh, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 16:15, archived)

Hello hooray, what a nice day, for the +s

(dribble, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 19:14, archived)

He always seemed just a bit too pleased with himself for my taste.
Still, blatant attempt to secure a place in the Lords from Surkeir seeing as how Boris wouldn't give him one, well played.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 16:43, archived)

he should have smacked more people around the head

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 17:18, archived)

We all should have done...

( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 17:51, archived)

youtu.be/UHHV1489fNM
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sun 20 Jun 2021, 22:35, archived)

he's a cunt
you're a cunt

fuck off
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 9:06, archived)

Morning thread
I've been away for a week, off the grid in a holiday cottage. What have I missed from the interwebs?

Also, it's fathers day. Anyone doing anyhting for it?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 8:53, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sun 20 Jun 2021, 9:06, archived)

Going down the shore later to see killerkitti and her partner, lunch by the bay, MODERATE DRUGS

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 12:37, archived)

I remember when she was in her early teens, presumably she's in her 50s by now.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 16:40, archived)

28!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 20:20, archived)

28 factorial is pretty bloody old.
/mathlols
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 20 Jun 2021, 23:11, archived)

Age is an imaginary number

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 0:00, archived)

I've also been "cottaging", so to speak.
In Cornwall. It was lovely. No kid burnt my neck.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 20 Jun 2021, 12:49, archived)

just had an epic lunch, might watch John Wick 2

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 14:21, archived)

youtu.be/e5MAg_yWsq8
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Sat 19 Jun 2021, 21:44, archived)

Deafening roar of autism thread

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 16:39, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 19 Jun 2021, 16:44, archived)

zose pesky Germans zey scored

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 17:05, archived)

On second thoughts I may have posted too soon

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 17:06, archived)

I guess that finding arrogant, abrasive guitarists unpleasant, no matter how talented they are, counts as autism

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 17:16, archived)

It really IS a spectrum

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 17:17, archived)

yeah yeah OK
it's just that whenever anyone mentions music around here, the conversation becomes: I like so-and-so's music and if you don't like so-and-so's music, you're the giantest stupidest stupid-head in the history of stupid.

then: no u!

then: NO UUUU!!!!!!

etc.
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 18:46, archived)

Wouldn't it be better if everyone liked exactly the same things

(dribble, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 19:04, archived)

NO U

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 19:09, archived)

Woldn't

(dribble, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 19:17, archived)

stop misunderstanding me on purpose

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 19:24, archived)

I like eggs

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 19:29, archived)

got SCALPING on the go here, kind of a Young Gods vibe.
Dribble might like, TAH might like, Queef won't like because it's not Godflesh enough.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 19 Jun 2021, 19:47, archived)

yeah, that's not bad at all
IMHO
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 19:56, archived)

dunno how recent they are but they have that mid 90s industrial sound
Bit like Young Gods but the guitars sound live.

Giving The Fragile another go, I'm a massive Downward Spiral fan and I've never really seen eye to eye with its follow up. A mate swears it's better though and I trust his chops on this stuff.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 19 Jun 2021, 20:00, archived)

deffo, that industrial bass is gr8

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 20:31, archived)

my favourite ever house track is Hold on to Your Love by Joeski & Onionz, make of that what you will.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 19 Jun 2021, 20:35, archived)

Alright that, cheer's.
First one I listened to was vaguely Interlock minus the vocals. But another was just straight techno.
(dribble, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 20:25, archived)

you say straight techno like it's a bad thing

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 19 Jun 2021, 20:27, archived)

Not at all, I'll listen to that too

(dribble, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 20:55, archived)

CUNT

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 19 Jun 2021, 21:11, archived)

I saw him at InFest '97

(dribble, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 21:19, archived)

Custified Uncients of Nu Tu

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 3:58, archived)

more of a gay techno fan personally

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 8:05, archived)

I didn't say I disliked anyone's music
I don't like Yngwie Malmsteen as a person
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 20:13, archived)

that said, his music is also really shit

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 8:06, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8304819
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 8:27, archived)

*belm*

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 19:29, archived)

#infest

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 19:54, archived)

morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 8:51, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 19 Jun 2021, 9:00, archived)

true

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 10:49, archived)

Might buy everything Dave Grohl ever recorded and then tell everyone how brilliant he is

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 11:11, archived)

I remember b3ta user 'riverghost' telling me that Dave Grohl was his cousin.
I'm sure it's true, he would have no reason to tell lies on the internet.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 11:43, archived)

You’re just pretending not to be impressed that riverghost could make up any cool cousin he wanted.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 19:13, archived)

DO IT

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 19 Jun 2021, 11:45, archived)

he definitely seems to be an alright guy
for any given definition of a right given him being a famous
I wouldn't voluntarily listen to his music though
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 11:48, archived)

ya'll just jelly cos he got money n bitches, yo

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 11:49, archived)

Foo Fighters had to abandon releasing a greatest hits album when Dave couldn't stop writing the title

(dribble, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 13:37, archived)

Might qotw this

(dribble, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 13:37, archived)

they only have two songs, they just release them over and over and over and over

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Sat 19 Jun 2021, 14:44, archived)

Reekend glans?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 14:30, archived)

17 mile trail run followed by pub later
What about you?
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 14:39, archived)

dunno m8 lol
might watch the association football later, naff all else to do eh
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 14:44, archived)

Totally fucking fed up today
Might bonk a bullfinch
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 14:53, archived)

DO IT

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 14:55, archived)

ps once again I have had my prejudices regarding the former Nirvana and Queens of the Stone Age drummer confirmed
his next project will be Bee Gees covers, sung in falsetto, under the name the Dee Gees.

He needs gassing.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 14:56, archived)

ok

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 15:10, archived)

come on mate, everybody hates him, no?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 15:12, archived)

BANNED POSTER DOZER THAT IS!!!!!!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 15:13, archived)

Dave Grohl?
I was under the impression he is almost universally liked. I don't know, I've never met the man, nor have I seen enough interviews with him to form a proper opinion
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 16:05, archived)

take my expert word for it, he's an utter prick

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 16:16, archived)

oh

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 16:51, archived)

He's famously nice as pie
Comes across really well in the Lemmy film which is my only exposure to the chap, seems to be a really enthusiastic guy who's a fan getting to live the dream and seems super grateful for it. I wouldn't buy a record off him though, unless it was by someone else lol
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 16:47, archived)

his records are fucking drivel

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 16:52, archived)

he seems to release an album every five minutes, which is nigh on impossible to do with consistent quality
The only exception to that rule are Aussie psychedelic merchants King Gizzard who are unbelievably prolific and almost always outstanding, despite their silly name. Incredible musicians, really impressive.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 16:55, archived)

yeah I've heard good things about King Gizzard but the silly name puts me off
Which seeing as I'm quite keen on Scottish hip hop experts 'Jazz Spastiks' is a bizarre stance to take, but there you go, it is what it is.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 16:57, archived)

They've done albums in totally different styles from acoustic-y folk stuff to near-on death metal, you most likely won't like it all
Nonagon Infinity is their best one. They got into customising their guitars, adding frets to create middle eastern scales and so on, and fucking complex time signatures - from a technical perspective alone they are really fucking impressive.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 17:01, archived)

sounds a bit 'sonic youth'

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 17:03, archived)

Fuck no, we're not talking about semi-competent 'art noise' with waki tunings here

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 17:05, archived)

lol semi

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 17:11, archived)

check it out, fucking awesome
www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rXwufFoJYw
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 17:15, archived)

there aren't many things that make me so keen to drop acid

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 17:31, archived)

-acid +through a trapdoor with a rope around my neck

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 18:01, archived)

have you never heard of 'The Smiths'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 18:04, archived)

Please please please

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 20:57, archived)

that was James Brown m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 8:49, archived)

ps I like a bit of 'heavy rock' actually SO THERE

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 17:04, archived)

r c
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 17:06, archived)

Been a pleasure working with you on this one Queef

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 20:59, archived)

what a team

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 19 Jun 2021, 8:49, archived)

-v +d

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 20:59, archived)

Yeah, in what little I have seen of him, he seems pretty down to earth at least
You know these rock and rollers!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 16:52, archived)

You know what? I fucking do, as it goes

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 16:58, archived)

Tell Yngwie Malmsteen he's a bellend
And ask him if he wants a doughnut. He'll know what it means
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 17:02, archived)

k, just did that -
1) he says you're fucking well out of order for bringing that up and
2) according to him it is actually *you* who's the bellend

All I know is you can't both be right
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 17:07, archived)

Oh know. This has backfired BADLY

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 17:26, archived)

you can't diss the Malmster

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 17:12, archived)

I fucking can

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 17:27, archived)

I, too, fucking can

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 17:30, archived)

solidarity with the 'can' camp here

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 18:06, archived)

alright 'Bad Manners'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 18:11, archived)

this entire thread (except for my contribution, of course) is a deafening roar of autism

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 19:14, archived)

that's exactly what I'd expect a crippling internet autism to say

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 19:50, archived)

= roartism

(dribble, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 20:34, archived)

got to go into town tomorrow
to buy my dad a present and find out how much the tattoo i want will cost.
sunday i'll be going to give my dad his present
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 15:48, archived)

Yes, I've been wearing rubber pants

( broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 15:53, archived)

cor!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 15:55, archived)

that sounds terribly uncomfortable

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 16:03, archived)

Nothing special tbh
Spaghetti Aglio e Olio e Salsiccia tonight, not sure what to do 2moz, kid over on Sunday for slow roast leg of lamb.

At some point I fully expect to penetrate a puffin
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 16:52, archived)

I'm having a ruby tonight
The downside being, I have to have it with my in-laws
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 17:01, archived)

haha, I call mine 'the outlaws' because - and you probably don't know this - I'm funny as fuck

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 17:08, archived)

Super spreading

(dribble, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 20:32, archived)

Groove Armadzzzzz

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 20:41, archived)

afternoon knoblet's, Queef Richard's here with a beautifully-proportioned afternoon thread
Conveniently situated in a highly sought after area of b3ta, with great transport links to /FAQ and /calendar. Perfect for the young family or first-time autist. The Magic Donkey has already had a LOT of interest, so asking price* posts or above are recommended.


*50p
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 12:05, archived)

we've just had a massive shoe rack delivered which I've already fucked up by removing all parts from their bags
I didn't notice that each polythene bag was actually numbered and now we've no idea what goes where as they all look the fucking same*. I'm now in the shit with my wife and have been banished to the loft. Sadly this is the closest I'm going to get to racking shoe this weekend due to advanced penury.

lol penury

*brb alert
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 12:08, archived)

have you consiered being less of a wanker?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 12:09, archived)

briefly, but I decided in the end that it just wasn't 'me', yeah?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 12:12, archived)

Basically I am *such* a smeg-head that a half-blind cancer patient is preferable to me for manual domestic tasks

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 12:17, archived)

i'm not sure any of us are particularly surprised

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 12:36, archived)

lol, ham

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 12:09, archived)

ham lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 12:09, archived)

top kek

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 13:47, archived)

It's all kicking off
Covid kicking off. Who would have guessed that the end of exams and them all getting together to party and luck eachothers faces could cause a spike in covid cases in a small community of people.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 8:31, archived)

whoops
biggest age ranges for covid are now 5-16 and 16-24 I read

my sister-in-law's kids (13 and 16) in NYC both had their first jabs a few weeks ago, reckon they might roll out vaxes to kids here soon
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 8:35, archived)

The apprentice is getting his next week,
So they're getting there for the young ones
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 8:51, archived)

much too late for Rik Mayall

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:04, archived)

bit rude MATE

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 8:46, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8304343
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 8:48, archived)

^ is this online internet harrassment?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 8:52, archived)

Face luckers

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 8:58, archived)

Ah, I see

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:02, archived)

^kiwi

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:03, archived)

Fluckers, maybe yours will catch on

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:07, archived)

I'll make it more than just a physical dream I wanna face you lucker baby coz you make me wanna scream

(dribble, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:09, archived)

Am actually in the actual real office
got sopping, soaking wet on the way in.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 8:59, archived)

It has gone a touch biblical

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:02, archived)

I AM INVINCIBLE

(dribble, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:05, archived)

alright INVINCIBLE, nice to meet you lol

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:07, archived)

VINCIBLE CONTINENT
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:09, archived)

Lol
No you isnt.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:11, archived)

Wonder if superman has bullet proof eyeballs

(dribble, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:15, archived)

he isn't real though.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:26, archived)

That's a no then

(dribble, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:35, archived)

the fictionality of Superman y/n

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:46, archived)

The next one will be a one legged black lesbian if the BBC have their way

(dribble, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:56, archived)

you've definitely always struck me as a BBC fan

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:59, archived)

NC S

Who said that?
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:50, archived)

cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 10:00, archived)

C
h
e
e
r
s
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 10:22, archived)

BPD Posse

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 10:31, archived)

I'm talking nose sense

(dribble, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 10:49, archived)

I'm feeling more suggestible already

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 11:00, archived)

"Richard Blackwood", remember him
his Wikipedia page is something special
(dribble, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 11:12, archived)

Blackwood McBeef
Wikipedia page helm
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 11:15, archived)

I just put in a solid hour of high intensity cycling so it's reeking even more than usual
thought you might like to know
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 11:22, archived)

ok

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 11:24, archived)

not talking to you, spastic

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 11:25, archived)

ok

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 11:31, archived)

ok

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 11:33, archived)

Good to know
Cheers
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 11:28, archived)

cheers

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 11:29, archived)

u no wot
I don't reckon it's possible to kill someone with a pillow.

I reckon it's BULLSHIT.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 12:03, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 18 Jun 2021, 7:02, archived)

'kin wazzing it old testament style here

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 8:33, archived)

Yep , I'm soaked already , calling it a day

( mongychops, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 8:35, archived)

like this on and off all weekend I fear
doing anything with the kids Sunday? I am legally obliged to spend fathers day with mine - which means 2 x 2hr round trips in a day because she's been mollycoddled so much she can't get from the isle of dogs to east ham and back on her own, and she's 13 mid july. pathetic
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 8:39, archived)

I doubt it. Nothing planned. Whys it take so long from east ham in?

( mongychops, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 8:53, archived)

it's an awkward journey
either:
isle of dogs to poplar on the bus, then another bus to east ham and a walk or
isle of dogs to canary wharf then 2 tubes and a walk or
isle of dogs to mile end, tube to east ham and a walk

pain in the arse. I booked a restaurant in canary wharf then it occurred to me that I pick her up at 10:30 and drop her back @ 5:30, so hanging around there all day will be annoying and expensive, better to bring her home and loaf around here and I'll cook
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 9:02, archived)

Learn do drive you lazy sod

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 10:57, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 17 Jun 2021, 16:47, archived)

not really
a combination of brexit and ebay being cunts has ruined my afternoon
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 17:49, archived)

ebay are total cunts
as are amazon.

Selfridges are even worse (if you're a retailer): 'oh some delusional prick piped up with a spurious and frankly laughable complaint about your goods so we gave them a £25 gift voucher to shut them up, rather than telling them to get fucked. You now owe us £25. Plus admin.'

Bunchacunts
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 18:11, archived)

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 18:14, archived)

. Never forget, hold a grudge, let it eat you inside recoup that 25 quid
Then move on , hth
( mongychops, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 20:30, archived)

I heard they don't even sell fridges.
The fucking twats.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 17 Jun 2021, 21:12, archived)

Get your money back by making laughable complaints about someone else's products

(dribble, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 0:21, archived)

I was going to say a thing here about American return policies, but it’s not like total no-questions returns are free; it’s built into the price of everything
It also encourages a different approach to shopping. It’s very common for Americans to buy three different versions of something with the full intention of returning two of them. It’s regarded as a completely reasonable way to check things out properly at home. But like I said, there’s a retail cost, and there’s a hidden environmental cost due to transport, particularly when you get to the scale of Amazon, which handles tens of millions of returns a day.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 5:20, archived)

I think we should just go back to bartering
with whatever you managed to loot from your neighbour's hut after you brained him with a club.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 6:58, archived)

I Barter With You, You Dirty Old Bollocks

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 12:04, archived)

Good afternoon, spackattack's
It is I...the Sheriff of Nadding-ham!

Haha, not really, it's me (Queef). Very boring day for me, I can't process any payments as SagePay is down. How r u lol
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:08, archived)

Living the dream Queef, legal weed and good weather.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:15, archived)

happy days m8
we've got rain here now but tbh it was needed, was muggy as fuck the past couple of nights
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:23, archived)

Julii
a collection of emperors
(dribble, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:16, archived)

GAYgepay, I calls it
Or Sagegay. Either's good
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:17, archived)

MagePay
favoured by fat, speccy D&D knobstains
(dribble, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:21, archived)

terrible bullying of BPD Posse here

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:46, archived)

no u never m8 dunt lie

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:24, archived)

Alright, I didn't
But I thought it
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:30, archived)

Yeah well you don't want to know what I'm thinking right now m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:40, archived)

what a coincidence, I had pork and sage sausages for lunch

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:24, archived)

what a world eh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:26, archived)

blows my mind on the daily

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:31, archived)

Do you mind?
There are vegetarians on this forum
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:29, archived)

it's OK, it was vegetarian sage

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:31, archived)

Not vegan??
You monster
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:34, archived)

*votes up Herb Sentience bill*

(dribble, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 13:57, archived)

They grow towards the sun. They know when to flower. End of argument.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 18 Jun 2021, 5:32, archived)

Hot and sweaty, m8
Now it's stopped raining, it's gone back to being humid
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:31, archived)

perfect weather for mosquitoes
(I don't mean the WWII aeroplanes)
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:40, archived)

"A tall and evil shape, mounted upon a black horse… The rider was robed all in black, and black was his lofty helm"

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:31, archived)

Tom Watt's knob lols

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:41, archived)

This took me far too long to get

lol
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 16:45, archived)

I told you not to stir your Guinness like that

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:43, archived)

White tipped
and lo, the modern day magic wand was born
(dribble, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 13:41, archived)

Get in my cabinet, Debbie. Get in there. You like it rough, don't you, you dirty little minx? You want my enchanted wand, don't you. Say "yes, Paul".

(dribble, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 13:44, archived)

Wizbit really took a dark turn in the later series

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 13:46, archived)

dark sexy
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 13:48, archived)

those 12km eggs are pretty shit

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 17 Jun 2021, 13:50, archived)

y

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 16:58, archived)

Lots of sweatys already in town , fucking scotch nobs

( mongychops, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 13:53, archived)

ffs wife's just got back from the opticians
steroids have fucked up her eyesight and now she needs cataracts op: 6 month waiting list, this just gets better and better
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 14:04, archived)

Bloody hell

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 14:06, archived)

yeah not great

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 14:17, archived)

they've almost certainly fucked up more than just her eyesight, bones for example, but we don't have regular check ups for those

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 14:38, archived)

she's already had arthritis surgery, great to know more lols are in the pipeline

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 14:40, archived)

has her bench gone up though?

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 14:51, archived)

she's judy af m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 14:52, archived)

phwoar

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 14:54, archived)

They dont warn you of that when you are beasting it in the pit

( mongychops, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 14:24, archived)

I've definitely witnessed some 'roid rage as well

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 14:39, archived)

sux 2 b u m8 lol

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 17 Jun 2021, 14:29, archived)

could be worse
I could be you
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 14:38, archived)

haha i no u r but wat am i lol

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 17 Jun 2021, 15:02, archived)

a fucking stupid cunt?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 15:05, archived)

c u on the populol page m8

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 17 Jun 2021, 15:32, archived)

sorry you picked a rubbish wife m8

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 14:46, archived)

wish I'd kept the receipt now

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 14:52, archived)

Just realised that you said "spackattack"
Not heard that since the late 80's. See also; dick splash
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 16:00, archived)

I'm keeping the dream alive, m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 16:58, archived)

Morning!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 8:24, archived)

morning m8
just had jab no.2


lol no.2
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 8:37, archived)

rip your virility
morning
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 8:40, archived)

morning

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 8:50, archived)

At a quick glance I really did think you were boasting you'd had two bowel movements this morning
and was about to congratulate you.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 8:44, archived)

nope, just the one
all I can say is it was evident that a) I had spent most of yesterday on the waz and b) my dinner contained quite a lot of turmeric
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 8:49, archived)

Did you sing the Elton John classic, 'Goodbye, Yellow Slick Turd' as it dribbled out of you?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 17 Jun 2021, 10:04, archived)

no, I sang 'out, demons out' by the edgar broughton band

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 10:58, archived)

alright

(dribble, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 10:59, archived)

$$

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 17 Jun 2021, 11:42, archived)

^ "My anus is bleeding"

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:05, archived)

which one have you got?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:00, archived)

AZ 4 lyf

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:19, archived)

AZ Kru reprezentin'

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:37, archived)

get bent you az pricks, pfizer rules

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:39, archived)

lol, pfizer is wack

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:42, archived)

I hope you get cvst

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:47, archived)

lol m8, u think pfizer is cool

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 17 Jun 2021, 10:00, archived)

pfizer massive reprazent

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:47, archived)

Pfizer crew in da hizzouse!!

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 10:11, archived)

I'm conflicted.
I'm also in the double-Pfizer group, but as a pharmaceutical company they are the biggest cunts of the lot.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 10:20, archived)

I got the Moderna vaccine and I haven't had any major diseases since, so it seems to be super-effective against everything.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:08, archived)

We've got two builders demolishing the conservatory
they have the squeakiest wheelbarrow I've ever heard. It's almost operatic.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 8:45, archived)

wheelbarrow bumholes
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 8:50, archived)

My god, I'd not thought of that
but if it's true they have the most talented annii (is that the plural of anus?) ever
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 8:59, archived)

it would only be anii as plural if the singular was anius

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:00, archived)

lol anius

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:03, archived)

Thanks, prof.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:03, archived)

don't get me started on ghastly proles talking about 'referenda'

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:08, archived)

Like falling into a prickly patch of cactuses

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:09, archived)

yeah, exactly like that

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:14, archived)

They probably like it up their ba

(dribble, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:59, archived)

This is referendumb even by your standards

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:09, archived)

Annii Lennox

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 10:13, archived)

Little Orphan Annii

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 17 Jun 2021, 10:22, archived)

Ænusii

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 14:02, archived)

</s>barrow
+man's
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 10:56, archived)

i met up with the band for the first time in a year last night
and the lead singer turns out to be an anti-vaxx nutter, so now i need to find a new band
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:00, archived)

*waves*

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:04, archived)

not you

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:08, archived)

What, you mean not being anti-vax isn't enough to get you into the band?
harsh.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:10, archived)

Get yourself a kazoo, then you'll have everything.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 12:06, archived)

ffs

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:19, archived)

Ok, I'll do it, but I only play German death reggae these days
And I swapped all my guitars for a tongue drum
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 10:54, archived)

alright
got an interview to be a postman next week🤞
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:19, archived)

Well, good luck
make sure you don't demonstrate any literacy or numeracy.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:27, archived)

haha, don't forget to 'letters' know how you get on!!!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:30, archived)

post-Brexit

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:37, archived)

rofl

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 10:29, archived)

you'll be given the sack every day!!!!!1111!!!!11!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:37, archived)

give yourself a 'Pat' on the back!!!!!!!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:38, archived)

Beats walking the streets

( mongychops, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:43, archived)

If they offer you the job tell them
you’ll get back to them between 7am and 6pm Mon-Friday and if there’s no one in to offer the job to a neighbour
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 10:15, archived)

well done all of you
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 10:30, archived)

!!!!!!!!!!
morning
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:29, archived)

o hai

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:42, archived)

yo g

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:38, archived)

s'up

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 9:42, archived)

‘Sup G

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 10:15, archived)

Well, now the power
had to switch it off for a bit for the builders but now everything's working again.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 11:12, archived)

Snap's less interesting first draft

(dribble, Thu 17 Jun 2021, 11:59, archived)

fewer

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 17 Jun 2021, 14:35, archived)

Did somebody say "tiny penus"?!?!
Warm, isn't it. I'm going to the supermarket after dinner. Where are you going after dinner? You can't say early 1930's Germany
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 15:13, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 16 Jun 2021, 15:15, archived)

Sort of

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 15:33, archived)

Norwich city centre

(dribble, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 15:18, archived)

Is it all pedestrianised?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 15:32, archived)

apropos, achieving surround sound

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 16 Jun 2021, 15:36, archived)

Turtle paenus

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 22:06, archived)

going to pick up my new hard disk, which has arrived

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 15:19, archived)

Speaking of hard
look upon mine tiny penus, ye mighty and despair!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 15:33, archived)

alright, Ozyglandias

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 15:40, archived)

Woah
My foreskin and ballbag stretch far away!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 15:56, archived)

Poo arsed and spunkless smegs of bone

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 21:38, archived)

I dont have my dinner till late, so nowhere

( mongychops, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 15:26, archived)

Ah fair enough
We're just in the rhythm of eating between 5 and 6. Might change as the kids get older, perhaps
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 15:33, archived)

to pick up my daughter from cubs
I thought I already told you this on mumsn3t.com/talk
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 16:05, archived)

You did, I just thought you might have left already

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 16:16, archived)

Why, to the withdrawing room
where else?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 16:19, archived)

Well quite

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 16:30, archived)

The bathroom, for my customary post-dinner meaty shit

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 16:25, archived)

ADIDAS

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 16:30, archived)

NIKE

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 16:34, archived)

Now I Know Everything?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 16:36, archived)

Just Know It

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 16:40, archived)

It is too hot for meaningful work, so I'm on strike until sundown.
After dinner I'll play either some KSP, or FLS, or some Civ while watching this new Star War.
( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 16:32, archived)

Sounds ideal for some meaningless work, OTOH.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 16 Jun 2021, 17:40, archived)

All work is ultimately meaningless.

( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 18:49, archived)

In b4 Heat Death

(dribble, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 18:55, archived)

I'm going for a long ride IYKWIM

( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 18:01, archived)

I don't, sorry

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 19:25, archived)

Taking it UTBBFOGS, I reckon.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 16 Jun 2021, 20:37, archived)

Bed most likely, I'm wazzed

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 19:08, archived)

Hush little Richard, don't say a word
Daddy's crimping off a giant turd
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 19:25, archived)

And if that turd don't wanna crimp

(dribble, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 19:55, archived)

Daddy better lay off the curried shrimp...

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 16 Jun 2021, 20:38, archived)

The boys are back in the barracks!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 16 Jun 2021, 12:50, archived)

Is this about bollocks?

( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 13:02, archived)

IT IS NOW

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 16 Jun 2021, 13:09, archived)

Go on, say something about "proud" now.
You know, about standing proud.
I mean, like a man's member.
(dribble, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 13:47, archived)

it's just that some people find what you said to be a bit racist

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 16 Jun 2021, 14:02, archived)

Rebecca Front y/n

(dribble, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 14:09, archived)

n

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 16 Jun 2021, 14:16, archived)

Fuck off! 'Rebecca Front'. I'm Rebekah Front. 'Rebecca Front'. Wanker.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 14:27, archived)

Water way to have a good time!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 16 Jun 2021, 14:50, archived)

Post a new message
morning
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 7:56, archived)

morning
welcome to the day of the hump
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 8:05, archived)

This evening I am going for beer and pizza
in Elephant & Castle.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 8:22, archived)

enjoy bbz

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 8:25, archived)

It is very exciting
we're meeting up with some friends who've not hung out as a group in, oooh, must be the best part of 18 months now.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 8:30, archived)

I still haven't met back up with any of my pre-lockdown mates yet
and not scheduled to until 1 July
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 8:46, archived)

Morning.
It is warm.
Message ends.
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 8:17, archived)

I have had a good night's sleep
twice in a row now which is good
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 8:23, archived)

Sleep is always good, I had a crap nights sleep so went for an early run

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 8:25, archived)

Last week I awoke at 4am and went for a rideout on the motorbike
I do like London at sunrise in the summer
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 8:29, archived)

Roads must have been quiet, perfect for riding!
At least I’m guessing they were quiet, I’ve not been to London in years
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 8:32, archived)

same

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 8:37, archived)

I've been out so rarely on it
I just wanted to get the engine to temperature and get on a dual carriageway to at least rev it to 8/9k, get the vtec to kick in.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 8:50, archived)

*unsubscribe*

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 16 Jun 2021, 9:03, archived)

I'm not a robot
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 9:07, archived)

or you could just delete your account

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 9:10, archived)

why do you always have to be such a nasty little poohead?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 16 Jun 2021, 9:19, archived)

no but I'm just saying
you shouldn't be afraid to take advantage of all the options available
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 9:21, archived)

woah, thanks man, I could even cut my own hands off to prevent me typing a popular url into a browser, or maybe even commit suicide!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 16 Jun 2021, 9:24, archived)

you see? you're spoiled for choice, really

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 9:29, archived)

popular?

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 11:35, archived)

Not now, sticklebricks

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 16 Jun 2021, 11:40, archived)

PR1CK

(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 9:19, archived)

W4NKER

(dribble, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 9:23, archived)

morning
do you know what can piss RIGHT off? Yodelling dominos adverts, piss off dominos.
( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 9:45, archived)

u no wot m8
There's a Dominos about 3/4 of a mile up the road from me, and EVERY TIME I order from them the delivery takes LONGER THAN IT WOULD TAKE FOR ME TO FUCKING WALK THERE AND BACK and THE PIZZA IS ALWAYS COLD WHEN IT FINALLY ARRIVES.

I just want that branch to burn down with their staff and drivers trapped in the building, does that make me a bad person????
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 16 Jun 2021, 9:55, archived)

Order a Domino's pizza in the first place makes you a bad person
burning the place down afterwards doesn't really do much to alter that
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 10:05, archived)

sometimes needs must mate
There's a wise old Scottish saying: You can only piss with the cock you've got.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 16 Jun 2021, 10:06, archived)

Bullshit. You could chop it off and still piss out of the stump.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 10:17, archived)

You say "every time" - how many times has this happened now?
Would it not be a better idea to order from a different business, if they're so consistently bad?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 16 Jun 2021, 10:17, archived)

um, I think twice
I use them so infrequently that I probably take the view that their delivery drivers have worked out that they only need to drive in a straight line for less than a mile to reach my street, but my hopes are cruelly dashed.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 16 Jun 2021, 10:24, archived)

At 3/4 mile, you could always just pick it up in person
if that's a thing

I don't ever do takeaways so dunno
(dribble, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 10:27, archived)

that's what irks me innit, it takes them longer to get here than it would take me to get there and pick it up
Might move to North Korea in protest at this affront to my human rights.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 16 Jun 2021, 10:31, archived)

It really is a first world problem
cook a joyless frozen pizza instead and save yourself the price of a London Pint
(dribble, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 10:35, archived)

I might be working class mate but I'm not THAT working class.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 16 Jun 2021, 10:41, archived)

Hello.
Hi
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 16 Jun 2021, 10:05, archived)

Morning
I got a new neck for my Fender-franken-Jazz

Roasted maple. Gonna try and put the whole thing together this weekend and see how it looks.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 10:21, archived)

+some kid burnt it

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 11:06, archived)

Interesting. Is it short scale?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 11:22, archived)

Nop. Someone gave me a Squier Jazz. It's cheap but plays nicely but I thought I'd have a go at tarting it up a bit. I had a few bits lying around - bridge, tuners. Thought I'd get an upgrade neck and I get a 20% discount from Fender because I'm a student (?!?!) lol!
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 11:41, archived)

Hmm. Jazz basses tend to be short scale. Might make intonation tricky
Good luck though! Sounds fun
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 12:14, archived)

Also (and I'm sure you've checked this)
The neck pockets of the Squiers (and the mexis, for that matter) are sometimes different to the American ones, meaning the necks won't fit. Worth checking
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 12:28, archived)

Jazz scale length is 34"
pretty standard, and Fender and Squire are interchangeable up to the high end elite jobs or those mid-late 70s ones with 3 bolts. I'll try in a bit but should be fine.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 14:03, archived)

Sam Fender is much younger than John Squire though, he'll probably last longer.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 14:28, archived)

Is this some kind of sex thing?
I don't understand.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 14:47, archived)

I'm having a weak lager in spoons
Day off, huzzah
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 11:53, archived)

surely it would be easier to drink out of a glass lol

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 12:33, archived)

Hahah this is why I keep coming back

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 12:41, archived)

I did wonder

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 13:56, archived)

Friends activity in red.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Wed 16 Jun 2021, 1:01, archived)

Is noncing with me

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Wed 16 Jun 2021, 6:02, archived)

Vive la France
Fick Deutschland

hahahaha
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 21:58, archived)

www.penus.com/lol

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 18:20, archived)

My boss just walked by, saw than and sacked me, f u

( mongychops, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 18:41, archived)

I'll write you a good reference, I swear

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 19:01, archived)

It's fine, somehow they thought I'd go to milton kenyes on friday. I'm better off

( mongychops, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 19:38, archived)

hey it's national beer day
www.beerdaybritain.co.uk/

might have a hoppy, complex IPA with hints of smegma and dungeons and dragons
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 20:00, archived)

might have a chocolate stout with dark, paedo undertones and a whiff of caravan park bogs

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 20:02, archived)

might have a SHIT ON A DOG'S TITS
then hose it off with my smelly piss into a bottle and sell it with a picture of fucking Gandalf on it to fat, speccy knobstains
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 20:03, archived)

m8 is everything OK?

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 20:13, archived)

Those shitty little micro pubs were all I had not long ago. Dont go near the fuckers now

( mongychops, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 20:20, archived)

Red Lion worked out nicely then?
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 20:51, archived)

*instantly offers job of Head of Marketing at Wychwood*

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 15 Jun 2021, 21:05, archived)

As a speccy knobstain, I find this offensive

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 21:11, archived)

^

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 21:14, archived)

I take great offence at this, YOUR BLOCKED

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 19:59, archived)

Hey, as long as someone's talking about mine tiny penus, it will have all been worth it

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 21:12, archived)

No real domain names pls

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 21:12, archived)

I've got your domain right HERE
*grabs crotch*
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 21:28, archived)

Lol, Peninnis Head
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cornwall-57483562
(Agent Pr1ck llǝɯs ǝɥʇ sʇI ˙ǝɔɐld sᴉɥʇ ǝʇɐɥ l, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 21:53, archived)

It is the afternoon
I am struggling with motivation and would really like to fuck off down The Red Lion for a pizza and a few lagers.

Would that be OK? Thanks in advance
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:31, archived)

Sure

(dribble, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:34, archived)

nice one dribble m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:37, archived)

Approved

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:35, archived)

cheers

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:37, archived)

i'll join you

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:35, archived)

see you there, windy old pal

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:37, archived)

I've signed off your request and updated the holiday absence log.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:38, archived)

lol log

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:38, archived)

lollog sounds like a swords and sorcery character
or a partial racism
(dribble, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:41, archived)

or a Lewis Carroll nonsense word

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:45, archived)

lol nonse

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:45, archived)

He was a bit

(dribble, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:01, archived)

Allegedly

(dribble, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:09, archived)

you can defame the dead as much as you want mate

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:14, archived)

His relatives might sue

(dribble, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:23, archived)

sue you for online internet harrassment?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:25, archived)

Yeah, get the police involved and everything
this is all very serious stuff
(dribble, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:35, archived)

delete this please

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 14:28, archived)

great news

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:42, archived)

the super noodles are on me!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:47, archived)

I'm paying

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:49, archived)

yesssssss

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:30, archived)

I don't mean to brag, but the flexible working arrangements I now have mean that I could do something like this as long as I still get the work done
Oh wait, yeah I do mean to brag, soz
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:51, archived)

are you flxible enough to stick your own head up your arse mate

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:52, archived)

he really really needs to go fuck himself

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 12:54, archived)

u wanker lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:35, archived)

I'm in the pub , I read that ginger is good for bad guts, so I'm having a bottle of alcoholic ginger beer, it's not helping

( mongychops, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:00, archived)

^ ginger beer

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:02, archived)

Yes that is what I just typed , well spotted

( mongychops, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:03, archived)

IT'S COCKNEY RHYMING SLANG, AS YOU BLOODY WELL KNOW

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:06, archived)

Gay slang is not really my remit, try chatting to other homosexuls

( mongychops, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:24, archived)

ok

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:37, archived)

It really does work, maybe you simply haven't had enough of them
Have 6 more and a whisky mac on the side

Disclaimer: whisky macs are fucking foul
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:34, archived)

liven up your whisky macs with a shot of liquorice liqueur

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:40, archived)

euch, nein danke
edit: hang on, liquorice is a laxative isn't it. You big meanie
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:46, archived)

is it? I didn't know that
I'm quite fond of a whisky mac myself

sans liquorice though
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:51, archived)

when I was about 15 I downed a pint of Stone's Ginger Wine in one for a dare
won't be doing that again
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:52, archived)

go on, I dare you

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:56, archived)

damn it, you know my Achilles' heel, I can never turn down a dare

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:59, archived)

d b
+ bum

Lol
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 14:38, archived)

no way lol ur mental

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 15:57, archived)

I just fancy a nap right now

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:04, archived)

go now, i'll cover for you

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:05, archived)

good man
if I dream of any miracle stomach remedies, I'll let you know
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:08, archived)

Would you like to collect your P45 in person
or shall I have it posted to you?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:33, archived)

I'm going to come round your house in the middle of the night tomorrow and shit in the cement mixer
amongst other nefarious deeds
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:36, archived)

That's a funny pet name for his husband

( mongychops, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:42, archived)

I won't tell you how he earnt it

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:51, archived)

HSS loan him out for a week at a time

(dribble, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 13:56, archived)

tell us how he earned it

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 14:29, archived)

"Max hardcore", I thought he was just a very efficient builder

(dribble, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 14:46, archived)

he knows the score

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 15 Jun 2021, 15:10, archived)

While it's running?
That'd be tiktok gold
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 14:52, archived)

You run your mixer overnight?
Christ, I bet the neighbours love you
(dribble, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 15:19, archived)

I don't tell the builders how to run the project
they are experts in their field. I'll leave them to their own plunging arse-crack trouser lines, choice of Heart FM and cement mixer etiquette.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 16:31, archived)

my whole life is tiktok gold m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 15:58, archived)

i insist that you do it immediately

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 15:42, archived)

I had to make do with 'going for a 3 lap walk of the park and then to the supermarket'
It wasn't as good tbh
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 15:58, archived)

shame
still, almost quitting time for those of you with jobs, so you can spend some of your hard-earned wages on booze
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 16:19, archived)

I've just emailed my boss asking for tomorrow off

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 16:57, archived)

that's the spirit

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 17:05, archived)

a
walk of the parkdances
( Cheers Cheers, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 17:15, archived)

well, yeah, those also

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 15 Jun 2021, 17:18, archived)