BIG TIDDY GOTHS

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 16:34, archived)

Whoops, I thought this was Google lol

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 16:35, archived)

Not really though, it was a joke
Unless you've got some genuinely good big tiddy goths pics
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 16:35, archived)

fucking loads m8 - loads

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 17:04, archived)

Hit a brother up, man!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 17:08, archived)

or sister
(Life of Brian-joke from "Loretta")
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 17:31, archived)

It’s not a joke, it’s an accurate prediction.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 26 Jun 2021, 1:05, archived)

i feel sorry for them when it's hot

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 16:42, archived)

any sympathy I may once have had for them evaporated when they sacked Rome in 410AD

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 17:05, archived)

that shit is just not on, you dig?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 17:06, archived)

massive knockers and hot weather do not mix well

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 17:13, archived)

The horror of boobsweat!
It's much the same for us guys with a massive knob and bollocks, actually.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 25 Jun 2021, 19:21, archived)

also it sounds like a metal album

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 19:35, archived)

BOOBSWEAT BEHBEH

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 25 Jun 2021, 20:17, archived)

Alright, Robert Plant.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 26 Jun 2021, 11:16, archived)

visi- or ostro-
?
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 16:47, archived)

Mind your own business

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 16:48, archived)

I'm going to assume ostro based on that response

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 16:53, archived)

When you assume, you make a big tiddy goth

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 16:58, archived)

Definitely visitiddies.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 25 Jun 2021, 17:00, archived)

what's the difference between goth guys and goth girls?
ABOUT FIVE STONE OH HAHAHA
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 25 Jun 2021, 17:10, archived)

Ah I see what's happened here
You've confused this with that joke about gay guys and straight guys. It's a great effort though, I'm loving the energy 👍
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 17:16, archived)

no m8, it's a spectaclarly witty piece of observational comedy about
the hilarious sight of mismatched 'fatty and skinny' goth couples!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 25 Jun 2021, 17:30, archived)

Oh I see
Sorry, that sort of thing is lost on me
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 17:41, archived)

I’ve seen quite a few of your recent posts, I can see they all have different words in them but to my eyes they all seem to say LOOK AT ME
Do you think that’s a fair assessment?
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 26 Jun 2021, 1:10, archived)

Reach out if you’d like to touch base.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 26 Jun 2021, 1:26, archived)

I noticed this years ago.
Indivually, you do sometimes see skinny girl goths and fat boy goths, but in any goth couple, the guy always looks malnourished while the woman is enormous.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 25 Jun 2021, 19:26, archived)

After mating, the female often eats the male.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 26 Jun 2021, 6:02, archived)

the women will be wearing 'those' boots

( Slippery Mick ‏, Sat 26 Jun 2021, 10:25, archived)

The weekend is as good as here, libtard's
Fucking great, I will be very glad to see the back of this week tbh
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 10:57, archived)

I hear you m8
excessive piss-taking and a shite sleep schedule have been the name of the game
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 11:04, archived)

sounds like a pretty shit game, what on earth do you have to do to win it?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 25 Jun 2021, 11:40, archived)

clue's in the name, dickhead

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 11:44, archived)

the clues in "Queef Richard's" eh?
Is the answer 'self-satisfied internet bore'?
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 25 Jun 2021, 11:48, archived)

YOUR BLOCKED

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 11:50, archived)

BLOCKED ALL GAY
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 12:24, archived)

nice work, TH

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 25 Jun 2021, 12:49, archived)

This is exactly the sort of mature and sophisticated repartee we keep coming back here for.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 25 Jun 2021, 12:50, archived)

we have a right laugh here don't we

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 25 Jun 2021, 12:57, archived)

Gonna piss down all weekend by the looks of it

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 11:14, archived)

not here it seems
bit later tonight and maybe on Sunday
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 11:22, archived)

It's just stopped here now
But it's not warm
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 11:36, archived)

Yeah, this week has dragged
Having my cousin round tomorrow night for drink and a natter, which will be nice. Probably ought to drop my dad's birthday present over at some point too
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 11:23, archived)

You could always subscribe to my blog, you know
Then I wouldn't have type all this shit here
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 11:23, archived)

I'm b&, remember

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 11:33, archived)

Not b&, stepped
Click the "I'm sorry" button and this all goes away
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 11:37, archived)

ah yes but the thing is, I'm not actually sorry

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 11:43, archived)

You never learn, do you

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 11:45, archived)

why learn, when you can gurn, m8
You know who said that?

Joey fucking Deacon
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 11:48, archived)

Woah
This is like one of those fucken Radio 4 thoughts for the day or summat
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 11:51, archived)

it really fucking is

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 12:01, archived)

with Rabbi Lionel 'Deacon' Blue

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 12:42, archived)

Rabbi Blue was going to be my Jewish porn production company

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 13:18, archived)

I thought it was "French Briss"

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 13:22, archived)

Phwoar Skin

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 13:23, archived)

Man on Manukkah

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 13:24, archived)

Semenorah

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 13:26, archived)

SINagogue

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 13:26, archived)

Jew Me up the Shitpipe

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 13:52, archived)

Wailing Balls

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 13:53, archived)

West Wank

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 13:54, archived)

IsRAIL

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 13:54, archived)

heh
Taken 4 Skin would be mine
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 13:26, archived)

alright Jeremy, nice to see you filling your time productively now you're no longer an appallingly hopeless party 'leader'.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 25 Jun 2021, 13:31, archived)

warm and rainy here in wealthy North Yorkshire.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 25 Jun 2021, 11:41, archived)

Oooh, the alarm has gone off in a van in front of the house
that was exciting for 30 seconds.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 13:04, archived)

OMG

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 13:20, archived)

I likes 68 Guns lol

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 13:35, archived)

lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 13:57, archived)

The Alarm are not a band to make jokes about
Mike Peters is a serious musician.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 14:45, archived)

didn't The Clash follow them around, trolling them for cribbing their sound?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 25 Jun 2021, 14:48, archived)

No, that was me m8

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 14:51, archived)

serious musician mega-nonce

lol
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 15:13, archived)

Peters Lindup
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 15:25, archived)

old skool

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 25 Jun 2021, 15:36, archived)

YES bruv

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 15:55, archived)

I've quite enjoyed my week

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 13:39, archived)

STRIKETHROUGH K!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 25 Jun 2021, 14:14, archived)

All the shingle ladeeesh
morning
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 7:55, archived)

good morning garold
seeing my brother tonight, been a very long time indeed, really looking forward to it.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 8:04, archived)

He's quite a character isn't he?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 8:09, archived)

yes indeed

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 8:16, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 25 Jun 2021, 8:07, archived)

Yeah, I think so.

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 8:09, archived)

do the shingle ladies get roofied?
morning
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:02, archived)

No, you use shingle on floors not roofs

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:10, archived)

wtfayboa?
edit: oh it appears to another transatlantic muffin/bicuit style confusion

I had completely forgotten about shingle beaches
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:11, archived)

I am wrong

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:20, archived)

if only you'd listened to Shakin' Stevens m8
'Ain't got time to fix the shingles
Ain't got time to fix the floor'
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:29, archived)

Poor old Shaky
Born about 30 years too late
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:48, archived)

He's great.
Responsible for one of my favourite tv clips ever, attacking a young Richard Madeley:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpjxfQDHnyo
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:53, archived)

good read here
cosmicdwellings.com/2015/07/21/shaky-and-the-sunsets/
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:57, archived)

I for one will not find it funny if Shakin' Stevens develops Parkinson's disease.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 25 Jun 2021, 10:07, archived)

I for one did not find it funny when, following years of fawning adulation on his show, Billy Connolly developed Parkinson's disease

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 10:24, archived)

OH YEAH?
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:13, archived)

Fucking hell!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:19, archived)

alright, 'Yello'

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:21, archived)

heh

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:56, archived)

waddup
job interview this morning, not had one of those for 7 years...
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:10, archived)

On the zoom or the teams I guess?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:15, archived)

nope, in person so I get to wear a mask and make a terrible first impression
yay!
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:19, archived)

make sure to eat a lucky clove of raw garlic before you go in

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:30, archived)

I've not had one for a good 15 years
Started work on my cv yesterday as work is deathly quiet. Hope you get the job
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:20, archived)

have the b3ta headhunters been in touch?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:22, archived)

Yes.
FRIEND.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:54, archived)

can you lend me £250 for a school uniform?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 25 Jun 2021, 10:07, archived)

thanks m8

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:25, archived)

All the b3ta best

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:59, archived)

Well, as if Friday couldn't get any more exciting... a proposition from Neville!
l write to know if you or your company are open for investors. I
represent a team of private investors from the Gulf countries. These
investors are currently providing financial support (Loans) to
companies and individuals for start-up or business expansion. They can
fund up to five billion USD for a project with good ROI.

They also pay 5% commission to individuals who direct clients to them
for financing.

Thank you in advance as I anticipate your kind response

Regards
Neville R DEVIR
Independent Financial Consultant
[email protected]
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:14, archived)

I'd have preferred an email from The Neville

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:15, archived)

as an investment advice professional, I recommend that you invest all of your liquid assets with Neville R DEVIR.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:23, archived)

*pours bottle of Tesco Everyday Gin into an envelope*

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:25, archived)

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 9:49, archived)

You know you can trust him, he's an Independent Financial Consultant.

( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Fri 25 Jun 2021, 14:03, archived)

you know that 'Just Say No' record?
Do you think they did the drum beats on a Ro-land 808?
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 25 Jun 2021, 10:14, archived)

Well
It's been a while since I've been here. Has anyone applied limes recently?
( charliedontsurf, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 22:26, archived)

welcome back. I am going to bed now.
belated 19th candles. cor!
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 23:08, archived)

Hugo_Rune
brought me back.
( charliedontsurf, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 23:10, archived)

BBC 4 blazing saddle uncut

( mongychops, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 22:14, archived)

#ReleaseTheWilderCut

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 23:17, archived)

THREADSTOMP

(sticklebricks, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 18:10, archived)

Is this a chemsex thing?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 18:28, archived)

^ is that online internet harassment?

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 18:36, archived)

I've always assumed this is just dozer being a needy beaker, fits the pattern

( mongychops, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 18:57, archived)

nowt to do with me mate

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 24 Jun 2021, 19:00, archived)

I'll stop replying then with hilarious user names of the op then . It wasn't big or clever.

( mongychops, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 20:00, archived)

No, but this is.
www.reddit.com/r/JoeRogan/comments/8utitu/john_mcafee_this_might_be_the_craziest_bath_salt/
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 24 Jun 2021, 20:19, archived)

This is getting tedious now, please go away
Cheers
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 21:20, archived)

alright
alt: Huzzah!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 24 Jun 2021, 16:53, archived)

Cheers

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 17:23, archived)

Thanks BPD Posse
It means a lot
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 17:43, archived)

might get a chow mein

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 17:53, archived)

Woop woop, that's the sound of the police
Haha, not really, it was just me (Queef Richard's) making a wooping sound - I had you going there, didn't I?

My free record has turned up and it plays perfectly, fucking result. Any of you cunt's had a fucking result lately?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 11:53, archived)

Who's Gonna Take the Weight by Kool and the Gang, I know you were wondering

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 11:54, archived)

Here's one you can have
I got stopped for speeding, and the office said "Have you got a police record?" And I said "Yeah. Regatta de fucken Blanc. LOL". Cunt let me off, AND bought me a beer later on
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 12:00, archived)

haha, no way!! classic

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 12:05, archived)

haha, the office said it!

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 12:07, archived)

You don't have to be like that, you know
Some people are just trying to get by with what they have
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 12:13, archived)

sorry, it's been a trying day so far

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 12:14, archived)

www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/kxqer6/not_sure_this_was_hall_and_oates_intentions/
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 12:41, archived)

:O

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 12:50, archived)

lol
that's the guy behind this
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 13:35, archived)

bit of a 'Flight of the Conchords' vibe going on there

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 14:01, archived)

true, true

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 14:12, archived)

I haven't
Not sure if this helps, sorry
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 11:58, archived)

a bit

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 12:04, archived)

you're like those radio ads in the States that have car horns or sirens in them and make people crash their cars

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 12:02, archived)

you know what?
I really fucking am
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 12:04, archived)

+ a complete cretin

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 24 Jun 2021, 13:51, archived)

have we all seen that super cool french canadian guy?
youtu.be/vi6xOfmjdYQ
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 24 Jun 2021, 12:20, archived)

well I hadn't but now I have thanks to you and I'm not happy about it

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 12:28, archived)

I like him, his cover of Pump Up The Jam is great.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 24 Jun 2021, 12:31, archived)

well if you like him so much why don't you marry him?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 12:45, archived)

I ALREADY HAVE

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 24 Jun 2021, 12:50, archived)

Might perform a sex act on an animal, the name of which begins with the same letter as that of said sex act
If you take my meaning!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 12:56, archived)

you might teabag a tern, that kind of thing?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 24 Jun 2021, 13:11, archived)

Yeah, that sort of thing

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 13:13, archived)

cor!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 24 Jun 2021, 13:14, archived)

I can thoroughly recommend it

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 13:15, archived)

I don’t follow, sorry

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 13:45, archived)

Remember to like, comment and subscribe!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 15:09, archived)

I opened a box of ibuprofen and found a tenner in it
I don't even remember putting it in there
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 13:20, archived)

that definitely counts as a result

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 13:35, archived)

Maybe it's the government
trying to ease the pain of pain
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 14:33, archived)

i've got a habit of putting money in "safe places"
and then completely forgetting about it. i once found 4 pound coins in a flower pot that had been there so long, they'd gone green
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 16:57, archived)

I just wake every morning with a smile on my face and a song in my heart and I thank the Lord God for this wonderful world, the love of Jesus and that I am not dozer

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 13:37, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8305317
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 13:48, archived)

I found some ibuprofen in a box of tenners

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 13:49, archived)

no u never m8 dunt lie

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 13:58, archived)

I have brought shame upon this great Internet forum

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 14:03, archived)

our reputation may never recover

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 14:12, archived)

We should all delete our accounts

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 14:14, archived)

I opened a box of paracetamol and found a male opera singer in it

( broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 13:54, archived)

no u neva

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 24 Jun 2021, 13:56, archived)

hullo m8-o

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 14:01, archived)

high queef, my washing machine is making weird noises, think the fucking fucker might be fucked

( broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 14:05, archived)

washing machine bumhole
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 14:06, archived)

(_X_)

( broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 14:16, archived)

that's a bit of a fucking fucker isn't it

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 14:13, archived)

fucking right

( broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 14:15, archived)

Luciano Paracetamol

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 14:04, archived)

heh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 14:11, archived)

Placebo Domingo

( broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 14:18, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8305333
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 14:22, archived)

That's so bad it's fucking hilarious

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 14:28, archived)

Anadin Bocelli?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 14:34, archived)

I like this.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 24 Jun 2021, 17:23, archived)

We now have foundations
again, I'm waiting for the drama...
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 14:35, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 24 Jun 2021, 7:32, archived)

n

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 7:50, archived)

PANTALONI TIP "ACTION"

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 24 Jun 2021, 7:55, archived)

Ah you bugger, I was going to say that

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 9:31, archived)

same here, gutted, right?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 9:35, archived)

Perhaps we should try again tomorrow

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 10:36, archived)

I'm too upset to even consider it rn

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 11:06, archived)

By the end of today we should have foundations
there ought to be a concrete delivery this afternoon. Exciting times!
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 8:02, archived)

So much more satisfying than abstract delivery.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 24 Jun 2021, 8:08, archived)

You've clearly never worked with an academic
putting a journal publication together...
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 8:16, archived)

no drama yet then

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 9:34, archived)

They're surprisingly chilled
they don't even have a radio blaring out Heart FM. I am very suspicious.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 9:38, archived)

are they foreign?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 9:44, archived)

They're from Kent
so they say.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 9:56, archived)

a likely story

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 10:12, archived)

Well, wherever they're from
they do look good with their tops off and that's the main thing after all.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 10:21, archived)

*sigh*
oh, garold.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 10:22, archived)

I suddenly feel the need
To watch the mythbusters blow up a cement truck again
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 9:47, archived)

leave it out

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 9:48, archived)

some nice reductions on the Puma UK website

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 24 Jun 2021, 9:53, archived)

From the town where everyone looks down
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dassler_brothers_feud
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 9:59, archived)

"Puma and Adidas were the biggest employers there, and at least one person from each family worked for one of these companies. Employees of the two firms and their families avoided speaking to each other; they patronized separate bars, bakeries and barber shops."

well, that's my fill of spasticated sectarianism for the week
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 10:13, archived)

try being Scottish mate :'(

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 24 Jun 2021, 10:25, archived)

nah you're alright ta

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 10:29, archived)

One for the footwear freaks among us - fascinating series on the battles between Adidas, Puma, Nike & Reebok
Hey, beefy, bpd - have you checked this out?
www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand/p09flcn3
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 9:58, archived)

I've never had a pair of Nikes, true story

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 24 Jun 2021, 10:11, archived)

pair of Nike ny friend
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 10:15, archived)

y

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 10:14, archived)

Apprentice has just done a positive LFT on his college day,
so that's me sent home and maybe isolating for the next 10 days
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 24 Jun 2021, 10:50, archived)

ffs

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 11:01, archived)

it was only a matter of time really as it's all over the show at college

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 24 Jun 2021, 11:11, archived)

Is that bad news though?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 12:30, archived)

alright
cheers
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 17:39, archived)

Quality thread

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 17:41, archived)

comedy forum etc

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 17:51, archived)

prick

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 18:07, archived)

wanker

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 18:24, archived)

Strong Britain Great Nation

(dribble, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 21:55, archived)

Ein Volk, Ein Reich

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 22:27, archived)

I hope we beat the germans next Tuesday, we are due a good win against them , been 20 years

( mongychops, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 22:34, archived)

76, you mean

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 23:29, archived)

Cheers
After 6 years of blissful rural living they’ve started construction on the hideous new housing estate in the field next to me, so my village will now resemble some god-awful suburb full of townie cunts. Might stab a stork to take my mind off it.

How has your idyllic existence been ruined by greedy housing developer cunts?

Alt: favourite alcohol-free beer?
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 16:59, archived)

alcohol-free beer?
Are you bent?
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 17:04, archived)

No, sorry

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 17:05, archived)

Don't think I've ever tried one. I may hate myself, but I don't hate myself as much as that.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 17:07, archived)

ps cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 17:07, archived)

I have a healthy amount of self-loathing so figured non-alcoholic beer was only fitting
These are quite nice: uk.athleticbrewing.com/
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 17:08, archived)

cheers

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 17:17, archived)

Aww shit, I hate that. There's over 250,000 homes that have been empty for >6 months at any given time.
Why not try getting people into those, in towns and cities where actual jobs are, before ruining villages with these ugly estates for dormitory commuters?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 23 Jun 2021, 17:15, archived)

maybe those 250,000 homes are in pointless places with no jobs
e.g. Liverpool and Wales.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 17:18, archived)

100% this
I expect I’ll be accused of NIMBY-ism but there’s loads of houses for sale round here plus quite a bit of brownfield land that would have been better suited. The local council rejected the application but of course the developer appealed and was granted planning by some pen-pusher based in London who just said the development would create employment for construction.

This is an old village and they’ve made no attempt to make the new houses fit in. I’m fuckin’ fumin m8
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 17:22, archived)

comedy forum etc

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 17:23, archived)

Well, quite
Cheers
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 17:24, archived)

I don't understand how "NIMBY' is supposed to be an insult.
"Hahaha, you care about the quality of the environment you live in! You giant twat!"
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 23 Jun 2021, 17:42, archived)

I can't tell if you're trying to be funny or trying to be an idiot.

( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 14:59, archived)

Or knock down what little remains of our gutted high streets and put housing there, instead of continuing ever outwards through fields and ancient forests.
Our council has this idea of putting a high school inside an empty department store, which is fucking stupid because the building is completely unsuitable with bad access, but they could at least use all the land for something else. Like yet more blocks of flats.
(dribble, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 17:27, archived)

Exactly, there’s so much space for housing but yet they want to fill the countryside with their copy & paste soulless boxes

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 17:30, archived)

Who the hell can afford to buy now anyway
that isn't already on the ladder, I mean. It's all gone stupid.

A few generations and it'll be 95% renting off the other 5.
(dribble, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 17:37, archived)

er, it sounds counterintuitive but even though prices are at an all-time high
Mortgages are extremely affordable and you can get by with a 5% deposit.

It's actually pretty easy going as an FTB right now.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 17:39, archived)

FTB = Fucking Twat Bollocks

( broadsword now that's fresh, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 18:10, archived)

The deposit isn't the issue, it's the prices now.
Unless there's two of you on high salaries in safe jobs and nothing happens like, for example, one of you drops to part time to raise a child or unexpectedly gives up work to care for a relative, you'll probably both retire and die having still not paid it off.
(dribble, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 18:44, archived)

lol renter

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 22:03, archived)

Oh hey, it gives you something else to look down on

(dribble, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 22:25, archived)

The joke was their attempt to include ‘affordable housing’
I know I live oop north but 300k is not an affordable house round here
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 17:40, archived)

Ok this is far too boring, I’m sorry
Someone start an ‘alright’ thread to get things back on track
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 17:35, archived)

How can you justify calling other people greedy while opposing the development of affordable housing in your neighbourhood?
And for how many years have you been voting Conservative?
( brb welcome to my reed organ repair blog, Thu 24 Jun 2021, 15:02, archived)

Booyaka booyaka fi Shabba Rankin
Hi knobber's, I'm bored as shit, work's gone super quiet and I'm a bit worried about it 'tee bee aitch'.

Still, not all bad news, my old man's booked his flights now his mrs' visa has arrived, and will be back in the UK for good on July 9th, so that's nice.

How about you - got anything nice in 'teh pipeline'?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 10:46, archived)

only a few weeks until the summer holibobs!!!!!
*squee*
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 10:59, archived)

HOW MANY SLEEPS

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 11:01, archived)

I DON'T KNOW

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 11:29, archived)

disappointing mate, disappointing

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 11:33, archived)

I just got a record for free, cool eh
Seller played it before packing it up to ship and noticed it has a slight warp which he says doesn't affect playback, but only charged me for the postage anyway
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 11:13, archived)

Warp gave me a free 12" once when they cocked up an order
I just had a look on Discogs and it's on there for over £50, nice work Warp!

www.discogs.com/RAC-Neo-Rio/release/115833
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 11:21, archived)

Yeah shut up now

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 16:40, archived)

leave him negative feedback anyway

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 11:28, archived)

defo, what a cunt

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 11:36, archived)

BPD Posse, you mean

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 11:37, archived)

got another London tosser viewing my gaff tomorrow, deffo going to amaze them by telling them the price of a pint in my local

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 11:01, archived)

make sure you show them your collection of shit Mo Wax records, that will surely clinch the deal

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 11:14, archived)

Oh, I do, plus the wall mounted Alan Partridge and Travis Bickle skateboard decks.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 11:17, archived)

maybe mention that Michael Gove went to your school and that you read War & Peace when you were still up your mum's fanny

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 11:17, archived)

I tell them that at the front door, a lovely icebreaker I reckon.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 11:19, archived)

very wise, it's sure to impress

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 11:20, archived)

never fails mate, never fails
Everybody loves Gove!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 11:22, archived)

Война и Mиръ is a great book tho

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 11:33, archived)

agreed, I loved it
I wish someone had explained to me before I read it that the characters have both formal and informal names which are completely different from each other. once I'd clocked that, it was a revelation
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 11:39, archived)

it's in a class of its own alright
read it at university, back when I used to devote weeks to reading books and there was no broadband
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 11:47, archived)

I read that in the original Russian. Didn’t understand a word of it.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 16:39, archived)

Probably go up the pub in a bit watch the horses

( mongychops, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 11:02, archived)

I'm just waiting for the postman then I might sneak round spoons for a sharpener

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 11:16, archived)

are the horses in the pub, or can you just see them from the beer garden?

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 18:53, archived)

Work is being "restructured" and I might be out on me ear in September.
FUN TOIMES.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 23 Jun 2021, 12:19, archived)

not cool m8 - not cool at all
sorry to hear this
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 12:32, archived)

Thanks mate. They might find another job for me between now and then, dunno.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 23 Jun 2021, 12:49, archived)

decent redundo package? or just legal minimum?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 12:40, archived)

Will be a decent amount, if they decide to ditch me.
Thing is, if there's one thing I hate more than shitty cunting jobs, it's having to look for another one.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 23 Jun 2021, 12:50, archived)

I feel dat pain mate, it's OK looking for a new job when you're in employment already. Different kettle of fish when you're laid off.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 12:58, archived)

ps the first 30 grand of a redundancy payoff is tax free. If there's the option to do so, you should funnel any excess into your pension to recoup the tax.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 13:27, archived)

Yeah, it's a decent amount but not quite that much.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 23 Jun 2021, 14:36, archived)

I have several American dollars to invest in a sure thing, any suggestions? Doesn’t have to be ethical, I’m a complete cunt me.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 16:35, archived)

Whatever Elon's latest mental breakdown is

(dribble, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 16:44, archived)

Probably massive robots with laser swords to protect the earth against extra terrestrial threats

(dribble, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 16:46, archived)

yeah, BlackRock have just launched a new fund for investing in massive robots with laser swords to protect the earth against extra terrestrial threats
I recommend that you invest all of your available capital into that one investment, you mark my words, you'll see an excellent return!!!!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 17:06, archived)

bollocks, and I thought the pandemic fuckery was over and done with
hang in there m8
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 13:03, archived)

Cheers. I'll try.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 23 Jun 2021, 14:43, archived)

Taking the twins for their annual birthday day out next Sunday
Going to cost me an arm and a leg as usual, but we love it
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 12:51, archived)

This sounds like a euphemism for going to buy a new bra

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 12:54, archived)

It isn't

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 15:19, archived)

It should be

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 15:40, archived)

How much does a faulty leg go for these days anyway

(dribble, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 12:57, archived)

£3.99.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 13:01, archived)

Tracked 48 with age verification, pricey
can I collect instead
(dribble, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 13:46, archived)

paypal friends & family
FRIEND.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 14:03, archived)

It's all managed payments these days grandpa

(dribble, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 14:12, archived)

on kneeBay

(dribble, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 14:55, archived)

on dePops

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 15:12, archived)

It was just over £200 last year

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 15:19, archived)

After you sold a third the police started asking questions

(dribble, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 16:26, archived)

You had me at 'tee aitch'

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 13:09, archived)

that was my plan all along

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 13:27, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 7:23, archived)

y

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 7:59, archived)

^

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 8:07, archived)

Not feeling too shabby, actually
was worried I'd be a bit rough after JabNo.2 but just a bit feverish overnight. Yay!
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 8:11, archived)

no.2 lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 8:21, archived)

I have my 2nd jab in a month's time. I felt pretty ropey for a few days after the first one.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 8:27, archived)

The first one gave me a fever the night after, really bad night's sleep
then a day of feeling grotty. This time around I just found I had to wrap up in bed and ached a bit when I woke but feel fine now, the arm is sore though
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 8:42, archived)

haha, from too much wanking I expect!!!
ahahaahhhhhaaaahahahaha
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 8:47, archived)

well now I'm feeling unwell

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 9:05, archived)

WHARLH,DW?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 23 Jun 2021, 9:17, archived)

nope, sorry m8 not a clue here

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 9:25, archived)

William Hague always ravishes lonely housewives, dirty William?

(Martin Anus, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 10:48, archived)

Whyn't have a really long holiday, don't worry

(dribble, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 11:00, archived)

Right laugh, etc.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 23 Jun 2021, 17:16, archived)

Rough as fuck after the first one
Second one didn't bother me at all
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 10:10, archived)

morning
might have another shit to really get the day off to a good start
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 8:43, archived)

I've had two already
First one was normal but felt incomplete, after I'd finished my cycling I felt a disturbance in the force and had to go back for a second go, this one was a dark green explosion.

Thanks, 'red wine'
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 8:46, archived)

TMI, brah

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 8:47, archived)

2nd shit confirmed
Slightly runny with essence of pork mince

B+ would shit again
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 8:56, archived)

YES bruv

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 9:24, archived)

haha, you went back for 'a number 2', because it was a second jobbie!!!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 9:09, archived)

never post again
thanks in advance
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 9:15, archived)

already on it mate

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 9:16, archived)

sup
getting another dose later

(off to see a prossie lol)
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 9:28, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 9:34, archived)

Dozer rose from his bunk. His feet felt the hard cold stone grey floor. Feet that had trod every troublespot in the world. Feet that had tasted a touch of danger. Feet that had seen too much.

(dribble, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 9:51, archived)

I can just see him now

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Wed 23 Jun 2021, 10:17, archived)

sumer is icumen in

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 10:50, archived)

aye, paps oot thread
( . ) ( . )
(Runcorn shitty limits, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 15:22, archived)

aye, paps oot ken

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 15:23, archived)

Well an 'och aye the noo' to you too!
hahaha
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 15:36, archived)

Jings and crivens!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 15:38, archived)

'Member the Jocks and the Geordies, eh?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 16:50, archived)

Yes, yes I do.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 16:58, archived)

based on your actual life, wasn't it?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 17:54, archived)

No.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 18:09, archived)

Lord fucken Snooty was based on my life
Literally had a mate who wore a barrel instead of clothes
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 19:01, archived)

TIL, wow

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 19:13, archived)

I could've just bought him some fucken clothes, y'know
But that barrel looked funny as fuck
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 19:27, archived)

Alright, Antisthenes.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 22 Jun 2021, 19:38, archived)

No, Lord Snooty
I already said, up there
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 19:48, archived)

Oh man, I love 'hay fever'

(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 21:41, archived)

Biggest selling soundtrack album of all time

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 21:47, archived)

bit cynical m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 7:38, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2smz_1L2_0
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 15:46, archived)

stand back Superman, Iceman, Spider-man

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 15:52, archived)

^ the scunner Richard's

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 15:54, archived)

I enjoyed the book' the ice man' dangerous fucker him

( mongychops, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 15:59, archived)

never read that, I expect my brother has it, worth a go then?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 16:02, archived)

Yeah its alright. I believe certain people say he upped his kill numbers , made a film of it I think. Certainly his kids saw him as a sociopathic killer

( mongychops, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 16:08, archived)

just had a look at wikipedia, they think some of his mob hit claims are unlikely to be true

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 16:13, archived)

Hard to say I suppose, certainly he killed for the mob, and killed because nutter

( mongychops, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 16:47, archived)

the film was alright

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 16:36, archived)

I liked that bit when he says to maverick you can ride my tail any time

(dribble, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 17:35, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8305050
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 17:56, archived)

Sometimes I think you purposely misunderstand things for comic effect.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 23:15, archived)

^serious granny

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 16:45, archived)

I've got more bottle than United Dairies, m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 17:21, archived)

so i've heard

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 17:45, archived)

all empty, mind

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 17:54, archived)

yeah
of SPUNK
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 22 Jun 2021, 21:52, archived)

aka "Almond milk"

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 23:30, archived)

eyes raght

(dribble, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 17:55, archived)

no, not until i'm home and don't have to put my bra back on
once it's off, it's staying off.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 16:42, archived)

Great thread, you mean

(Runcorn shitty limits, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 16:50, archived)

Thanks

(Nicki Minaj, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 17:02, archived)

For ‘the lads’ I assume?

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 17:17, archived)

^Anti lesbian hate speech

(dribble, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 17:21, archived)

Anti lesbian hate speech is this online internet harrassment?
( Cheers Cheers, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 17:22, archived)

Or am I dreaming

(dribble, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 17:27, archived)

Well that was a shit day and no mistake. Thankfully I didn't get brutally attacked while in London and subsequently die from the horrific injuries sustained though. It's almost like I had a guardian angel hovering over me, chuntering on about techno and Carol Vorderman. Thanks forum chums!
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 19:12, archived)

lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 19:15, archived)

CVMA

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 19:29, archived)

"Corpus Vitrearum Medii Aevi: Home" www.cvma.ac.uk
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 19:46, archived)

yes pal

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 19:48, archived)

Apparently Scotland are shit at football.
Who knew?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 21:42, archived)

aye, you got newslettered

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 21:49, archived)

Jesus Fucking Christ
Maybe rob will unban all the Pato Banton puns now he apparently likes reggae jokes.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory katsu revival trust, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 22:28, archived)

Clickin dis

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 23:58, archived)

But just don’t be a dick, ok?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 23 Jun 2021, 0:23, archived)

Are you sure?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 23:57, archived)

Hi guy's, Queef is here, how are you?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 10:54, archived)

i'm good,
u?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 10:56, archived)

not too bad I suppose

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:01, archived)

Ah y'know

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 10:59, archived)

I do, actually

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:01, archived)

I knew you wouldn't let me down

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:25, archived)

I'm trustworthy and reliable m8 - ask anyone

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:35, archived)

is Queef Richard's as trustworthy and reliable as he claims?
asking for a popular internet site
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:38, archived)

no
he undertook to tarmac my driveway but fucked off after I gave him the deposit and I haven't seen him since
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:49, archived)

Is this a sex reference?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:57, archived)

it certainly looks like gay slang

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:57, archived)

it was a misunderstanding

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 12:14, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8305050
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 13:34, archived)

totes and blates m8, totes and blates

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 12:13, archived)

<s> the shortarse out of Ph.D.

(dribble, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 12:12, archived)

strong contender for worst record ever made, I reckon

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 12:13, archived)

alright
I hope OCSP doesn't get brutally attacked while in London and subsequently dies from the horrific injuries sustained.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 10:59, archived)

oh do pipe down, there's a dear

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:01, archived)

I'm just wishing a fellow forum poster well, jeez, calm down grandad.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:03, archived)

I've felt worse but I've felt better

(dribble, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:06, archived)

alright dribble

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:14, archived)

€€

(dribble, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 12:01, archived)

lol

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 12:55, archived)

so often the way

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:15, archived)

have you felt the same?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:24, archived)

Have you ever, ever felt like this?

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:35, archived)

Just had me second jab
hoping I don't feel as rubbish as last time.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:07, archived)

fingers crossed m8-o
mine was entirely without incident both times
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:16, archived)

maybe they didn;t give you the jab at all because you're a bit of a lost cause

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:34, archived)

oh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:37, archived)

He's in the control group

(dribble, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 12:03, archived)

No overwhelming urge to commit to 10 years worth of Office 365 Professional Plus
but also, no virus protection
(dribble, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 12:08, archived)

Control by Bill Gates right?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 23:30, archived)

I've put a jumper on now
I mean, come on, this is getting silly isn't it
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:23, archived)

it is rather, i might change in to some shorts

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:34, archived)

I'm wearing shorts
I'm in denial and pretending it's the same weather as last week. I will continue to do this until it actually is.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:36, archived)

trousers, jumpers...whatever next? A fucking hat?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:35, archived)

so much for this so called global warming

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:41, archived)

Classic the donald

(dribble, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 12:00, archived)

is a jumper a pullover or a sweater?

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:39, archived)

if yes, why is it called a jumper? you clearly pull it over or sweat in the other ones but do you actually jump?

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:40, archived)

it's a corruption of the original french j'eu ma père
which meant 'fuck my dad'
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:53, archived)

heh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 12:50, archived)

tired
and sexy
(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 11:47, archived)

roadrunner unite said fred
most horrendous musical collab ever
(dribble, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 12:33, archived)

good to know, m8 - good to know

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 12:50, archived)

not really feeling it today for some reason

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 12:47, archived)

yeah I hear ya m8-ey

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 12:50, archived)

Freedom Day was a bit of a damp squid

(dribble, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 12:51, archived)

the best thing since life's spread

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 12:54, archived)

Found you're old comment about getting down off her pedal stool and I dun a small nose exhale

(dribble, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 13:10, archived)

link plz

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 13:14, archived)

dinnae bother, I found it, it ent worth the effort, ent even lyin

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 13:16, archived)

I did actually used to work with an exceptionally dim individual who unironically used 'damp squid', 'best thing since life's spread' and 'to all intensive purposes'.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 13:18, archived)

Sounds like Priti Patel

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 13:26, archived)

fit from the neck up, that one

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 13:38, archived)

FOBBOC?

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 13:42, archived)

built like a dinner lady

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 13:59, archived)

Cor!

(dribble, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 14:03, archived)

the bloke off of dinnerladies used to live directly opposite me, true story

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 14:08, archived)

oh yeah? Well, I went to school with loads of dinnerladies

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 14:47, archived)

weird flex, but OK

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 14:50, archived)

+ when they were still children

(dribble, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 15:01, archived)

The tightly pursed mouth and golf ball cheekbones do it for you

(dribble, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 13:53, archived)

and the toxic right-wing views

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 13:59, archived)

One of my younger colleagues frequently came out with gems like this
and then a few seconds later asked what it means because he might have said it wrong

You know, WFH has done wonders for my blood pressure
(dribble, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 13:52, archived)

Sounds like he’s a bit of a pre-Madonna

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 14:06, archived)

I think his parents couldn't be bothered

(dribble, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 14:18, archived)

...to use contraception

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 14:21, archived)

"Great dinner, hon."
"Thanks, babe."
"Hey ... didn't we have a kid?"
(dribble, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 14:24, archived)

Morning everyone, I'm going to London to do things with fans. What are all your exciting plans? I haven't had any sleep.
(Ooooh_cuntroversials_sockpuppet Make O/T great again., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 4:00, archived)

^ is this online internet harrassment?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 6:41, archived)

Not one of P. J. Harvey's better albums, that.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 22 Jun 2021, 7:31, archived)

I bet you wish that /talk was 'rid of me'!!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 7:44, archived)

only fans?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 7:42, archived)

^

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 7:55, archived)

Nice
www.thefanmuseum.org.uk
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 7:58, archived)

I've had a black japanese fan for many years now
people get envious looks when I take it out and wave it about
( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 8:14, archived)

*BRB KLAXON*

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 8:41, archived)

Toil, m8
Toil
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 8:12, archived)

f n

morning
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 8:21, archived)

f a tramps' gl
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 22 Jun 2021, 8:48, archived)

Working myself into an early grave

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 8:53, archived)

huzzah!


hang on
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 8:54, archived)

Don’t worry I’m doing that as well

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 8:56, archived)

I've a few days off from today, was going to go fishing but all the rain coming is putting me off

( mongychops, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 9:01, archived)

Friday seems to be predicted as the worst

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 9:20, archived)

Yeah, and I'll be packing up Saturday, I dont fancy the mud

( mongychops, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 9:23, archived)

don't blame you

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 9:29, archived)

Look alright when I booked the days off, oh well I'll sit in the boozer as a holiday

( mongychops, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 10:01, archived)

hate to say it but next week looks like it will be sunny and dry throughout

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 10:11, archived)

might take my trousers off then

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 10:16, archived)

poos and wees m8

(sticklebrlcks link in bio ❤️🌟❤️, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 9:30, archived)

alright sticksy

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Tue 22 Jun 2021, 9:43, archived)

might put some trousers on

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 9:49, archived)

Fewer creepy thread
Hi there, did you have a nice weekend? Mine was a lot of fun. Hoping for the sun to come back though - my poor kid is going camping with her school on Thursday night.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 13:34, archived)

it was OK ta

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 13:36, archived)

yeah I spent most of deciding it which female television presenters, musicians and other public figures I 'would'
then I had a great big wank
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 13:43, archived)

Hi Hankster

( mongychops, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 13:45, archived)

who were in yr top 5 then

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 14:05, archived)

Man, that was a long wank

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 18:48, archived)

all the best ones are

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 19:53, archived)

b3ta.com/board/9288921
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 21 Jun 2021, 20:48, archived)

hehe

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 22:19, archived)

So many comments

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 1:20, archived)

felt a bit crap for most of Saturday after my second jab on Friday, so I fucked it off
had a Zoom with my dad for Father's Day yesterday

that's about it really
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 14:07, archived)

I got so pissed on Saturday that I was asleep by 8:30
Basically the same story as yours, I'm sure you agree
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 15:34, archived)

I got pissed on Saturday as well, so yeah

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 16:42, archived)

Had a lovely weekend thanks
I went here

Amazing house.
( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 14:51, archived)

looks gay

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 14:54, archived)

Queen Elizabeth I stayed there.

( Boris Johnson's Press Secretary, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 15:00, archived)

I rest my case.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 15:02, archived)

Looks alright that

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 15:36, archived)

Dropped some more stuff off in SafeStore
while the build is underway. Recorded some bass parts for a mate (strike g ass farts), have absolutely lost my fucking rag with Garage band.

Had a good laugh with next door's neighbour's builder showing him where there's a hook in their kitchen ceiling for the previous occupants' sex sling. He told me that there had been a weed farm up in the loft and there was a bypass on the electric meter. LOL!

Downloaded Presonus Studio One the free version, see how I get on with an actual proper DAW. Had the neighbours over for drinks and food yesterday - they're living away at the moment because of the renovations - they were well pissed off that there was an electric bypass going to the loft but not the rest of the house so they'd been needlessly paying for power for the last few years. I said they were lucky not to have the law around and that the guy the bought the house from really was more of a jack-the-lad than even we thought.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 15:26, archived)

when my brother was a squatter they always bypassed the meters

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 15:45, archived)

You do, I'd say 99.9% of the time they dont take the trouble to just by pass a loft / grow room . It wouldn't be too difficult if the left is on it's own circuit, but I'm calling bullshit , soz

( mongychops, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 16:04, archived)

What, you mean the builder may not be being truthful
about his reason for not being onsite for a week? I can't accept that.

Though, it would have meant collusion between the builder AND the sparky. There was definitely a weed farm in the loft - saw it with me own orbits before they ripped it out.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 16:07, archived)

not to counter your BS detection skills mate, but surely bypassing the entire house, a house I'm assuming wasn't being squatted or was otherwise dodgy apart from the weed farm in the loft, that bypassing the whole meter so no bills etc
would draw attention to the house, no?

You're the expert, I'm happy enough to be wrong here.
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 16:08, archived)

He's got a point

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 16:21, archived)

A joint more like!!!
Because weed.
(dribble, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 16:52, archived)

^Comedy tin

(dribble, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 16:52, archived)

Did you hear that a pigeon got arrested and thrown in jail
For smoking a 'dovetail joint'!!!!!!
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 16:56, archived)

Now he's doing bird

(dribble, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 17:07, archived)

on D wing

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 17:12, archived)

The no bills and thermal cameras normally is the undoing of weed farms. But that takes fucking years . The leccy companies are notoriously shit at billing, sending reminders, arranging court and getting bailiffs, can normally pay fuck all for 2 years eas

( mongychops, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 16:27, archived)

fair enough

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 16:43, archived)

so...if you had a massive leccy bill but paid it off regularly,
that wouldn't necessarily be suspicious? Or would it?
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 17:07, archived)

Leccy companies are not plod, or aligned to them . What you use it for is up to you. They do not report

( mongychops, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 17:14, archived)

is it not the case that the law can request usage reports from the providers for use to justify raids?
I'm sure I heard something like that, people talk bollocks though of course, and no-one more so than my old pal Yeti
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 17:23, archived)

Yeah, but you are years down the line. Quicker ways to raid somewhere. The energy provider do not give two fucks .

( mongychops, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 17:30, archived)

I think unusually high bills are as much of a flag as nonexistent ones
If you use LED grow lights the potential for this is greatly reduced I believe
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 17:19, archived)

Well halogen will be banned from sale September. Fluorescent 2023, although I expect next year. Sodium and halides will get banned , but they are industrial so might take a while. You'll only have led by 2025 I reckon

( mongychops, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 17:25, archived)

are we LED it off the road

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 17:29, archived)

All the street lamps here are led now I miss the glow of sodium

( mongychops, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 17:34, archived)

Bloody weird light they put out

(dribble, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 17:38, archived)

No warmth to them

( mongychops, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 17:48, archived)

Might stockpile halogens to resell in a few years
I mean I made my first million selling incandescents at ridiculously inflated prices to nostalgics who like to cook their dinner by holding it near the ceiling for a few minutes, hooray for good old fashioned inefficiency
(dribble, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 17:37, archived)

I've told a few big companies to stock up now, or else I'm mugging you. When fluorescent goes it will be boom time for sparks

( mongychops, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 17:51, archived)

reso ae
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 21 Jun 2021, 22:58, archived)

Yeah, it was alright

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 16:27, archived)

BULLSHIT

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 16:27, archived)

IT WAS FUCKEN FINE, ALRIGHT?
WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 16:45, archived)

STOP IT WITH THE ONLINE INTERNET LIES, NOBODY'S CONVINCED

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 16:48, archived)

gud 1 lol
Lidl have got tomahawk steaks at the moment, I grabbed a massive one and bunged it in the freezer for next Sunday, good toimes
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 16:43, archived)

Ah nice one
Might take up a trip up there myself
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 16:45, archived)

they're individually priced, mine was £20 I really shouldn't have spent but eff it yo
Eff it to heck
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 16:54, archived)

Finally, just what I was after
hussingales.com/collections/garden-accessories/products/banana-duck-creative-garden-decoration-sculptures-yard-garden-decor-vintage-ornament-home
( mongychops, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 16:51, archived)

wtf

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 16:53, archived)

I wasn't expecting this

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 17:13, archived)

yeah you think you know someone eh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 17:13, archived)

A horrible goose

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 19:14, archived)

not bad, not bad
relaxed, watched a lot of films, had a nice meal out at the chinese yesterday for father's day. legs are behaving better due to the cooler temperature
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 17:22, archived)

good stuff

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 17:49, archived)

Wife and I have this whole week off, might chin a chimp

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 19:12, archived)

Chimp chin away, chimp chin away

( broadsword now that's fresh, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 19:56, archived)

I’ll chib the cunt, I mean it.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 22 Jun 2021, 1:05, archived)

super duper linkypoos for queef of the richard's
www.theguardian.com/culture/2021/jun/21/betty-boo-how-we-made-doin-the-do-slang-cunnilingus
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 12:06, archived)

She's fucking great
Her finest work:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhNcVVEjKRU
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 12:53, archived)

I reckon she'll still be fit now

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 12:54, archived)

Please go easy on the misogynistic "I would" type posts whenever a picture of an attractive lady is posted on the board.
Not only can it get a bit tiresome, but it can be intimidating and unwelcoming for a lot of lady boarders. Besides, even if you would, she probably wouldn't.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 13:27, archived)

jadeviper probably would've, though.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 21 Jun 2021, 13:33, archived)

who dat

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 13:42, archived)

Remember when she got her fanny out on telly and was racist, then died of cancer

(dribble, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 13:45, archived)

Uh, no, no and no?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 21 Jun 2021, 13:47, archived)

Though I do remember when she send an unsolicited nude pic to The Mighty Badger, which got him into a spot of trouble with his wife.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 21 Jun 2021, 13:52, archived)

we've all sent unsolicited nude pics to TMB, his wife must be used to it now

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 14:01, archived)

I sent him a pic of his wife

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 19:07, archived)

Also, remember there is a difference between poor taste and being hateful. Please don't use b3ta as an outlet for racism, or your posts will be deleted and your account banned.
#brb
(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 13:34, archived)

"You're gay" jokes are still funny though, right?

(dribble, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 13:43, archived)

my gay what now?

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 14:06, archived)

Arrested and thrown in jail kind of funny, yes.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 19:09, archived)

morning

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 7:21, archived)

y

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 8:24, archived)

john bercow is a fucking small-man-syndrome midget cunt, his wife's an embarrassing prick and the pair of them can get fucked
only a colossal wankstain would start a thread on here dedicated to that weird little bullying tosser, why would anyone do that.

I am just saying
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 8:34, archived)

^ upset, online

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 8:39, archived)

just had an order from a Kenny Parker
I don't think it's KRS1's brother though, unless he's moved to Glasgow which seems unlikely at best
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 9:37, archived)

I always think Keith Murray sounds like he drives a bus for a living.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 9:48, archived)

Ordeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrr!!!!!!!

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 8:39, archived)

cod and chips twice please love

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 8:42, archived)

codpiece lol

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 10:15, archived)

only someone with an unhealthy obsession for bullying of all kinds would do such a thing

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 8:51, archived)

the sort of person who hates women and repeatedly, unironically calls for the killing of intolerant people
that sort of person
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 8:54, archived)

intolerant people should be gassed

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 8:58, archived)

*Austin Powers joke*

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 9:05, archived)

Well I think he's alright.
*shrug*
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 21 Jun 2021, 10:18, archived)

lovely fellow
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-43963788
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 10:24, archived)

I'm sure he can be a bit of a twat, but it was fun watching him shout down all the idiot red-faced gammons in the HoC.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 21 Jun 2021, 12:30, archived)

true enough

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 12:47, archived)

y

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 8:25, archived)

k

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 8:39, archived)

y

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 8:32, archived)

gfy

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 8:39, archived)

i don't really know what is going on

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 8:56, archived)

marvin gaye's verbose first draft

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 9:02, archived)

i see that BRB still has me on lolignore,
it makes more sense now
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 9:04, archived)

lol

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 9:06, archived)

mavis gaye from corrie

(dribble, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 9:57, archived)

heh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 10:09, archived)

We went to the cinema last night
the film was very silly still it was nice to get out but fucking hell, the behaviour of the audience was atrocious. The noise and disruption, talking, phone-torches to see what they were doing, I'm not sure I can be bothered going to the movies again.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 8:59, archived)

the cinema has always been shit,
I will never understand how people think that something that is best enjoyed with full relaxed quiet concentration is going to be improved by trying to do it in a room full of other people. Other people ruin literally eveything.

just save the ticket money over a year or so, get a massive TV and decent surround sound gear and never leave the house again
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 9:03, archived)

Being fair
I do enjoy stupid action movies with HOOJ soundtracks and 'splosions. Atomic Blonde was well worth seeing on the big screen, but not enough to put up with the general public.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 9:12, archived)

just be rich enough to have an actual cinema at home
easy
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 9:16, archived)

why would I want something as nouveau riche as a "home cinema"
urgh
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 9:44, archived)

you can buy a big screen and a big soundsytem
unless you live in some horrid flat or terraced house where the noise would upset the neighbours
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 9:16, archived)

I live in London
we do things differently here.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 9:31, archived)

project your film onto the Houses of Parliament and watch it from your window
like a proper Londoner
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 9:33, archived)

gail porter's arse

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 9:36, archived)

b3ta.com/board/10131998
(dribble, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 10:59, archived)

What a horrible bullying cunt, I'm glad he died

(dribble, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 10:59, archived)

I wonder if Vorderman's arse would fit on the Palace of Westminster

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 11:07, archived)

It'd need a whole new House to it is self

(dribble, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 11:41, archived)

but what a magnificent house it would be!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 11:43, archived)

Alright, Alan Partridge.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 21 Jun 2021, 9:55, archived)

^ proper grasp of Latin

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 10:00, archived)

^ pierced his foot on a spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike

( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 10:01, archived)

don't shine that torch in my face mate

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Mon 21 Jun 2021, 10:16, archived)

Happy freedom day, covid has gone now

( mongychops, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 10:12, archived)

yessss

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 10:21, archived)

Brilliant Boris

(dribble, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 11:42, archived)

CUTE FLUFFY KITTENS

(sticklebricks, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 21:08, archived)

WANK

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 23:18, archived)

In your van you say? Well let’s go see them!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 20 Jun 2021, 23:58, archived)

DISGUSTING

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 21 Jun 2021, 8:26, archived)