morning

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 6:40, archived)

Hi

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 8:06, archived)

morning!

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 8:38, archived)

ARSEHOLE

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 8:48, archived)

HOLE

+BOON DILBARO
(morning Hairy biscuit!, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 9:18, archived)

Sunday morning.
Off to church for a performative wank.
( Octo I ruin everything., Sun 9 Aug 2026, 9:46, archived)

Behind the gravestones furtively?
- or proudly from the pulpit?
( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 10:01, archived)

Right into the Font

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 10:23, archived)

Splendid!
No doubt you will go to Hel(vetica)
( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 11:06, archived)

That’s Arial funny pun

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 11:17, archived)

What Times we live in

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 12:27, archived)

It gets worse. I can see the Futara

( Octo I ruin everything., Sun 9 Aug 2026, 16:40, archived)

rejected Thundercat names

(piss and shit, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 19:48, archived)

ri n
nn rr
u or
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 9 Aug 2026, 21:25, archived)

Alright Pope Leo

( mongychops, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 10:17, archived)

Still morning

( Cheers Cheers, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 10:24, archived)

Placebozzzz

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 10:56, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 10:40, archived)

Oh my giddy aunt
Took a bottle of scotch to the wedding yesterday. Was very good fun indeed. Having a hair of the dog pint now.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 12:28, archived)

That's How I'm Dying
youtu.be/MYKLilfwjLU?si=X_SD-DOlliIJMwu1
RIP
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 19:02, archived)

Overdose of wind-dried ham from a very specific and obscure region of Italy?
Crushed to death by a crate of overpriced retro-styled trainers?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 8 Aug 2026, 19:18, archived)

Adidas Stranglewank is my guess

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 19:22, archived)

Wasn't he in the hunger games?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 19:24, archived)

Yes, but credited as 'Arseboon Dilbaro.'

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 8 Aug 2026, 19:37, archived)

ARSEBOON

(arseboon dilbaro arseboon dilbaro, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 22:10, archived)

Katniss?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 22:54, archived)

Yeah I heard about that, good to see my comment is coming up first on the youtube page, unless I was DJ Sven, never could remember

( broadsword, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 19:34, archived)

your comment is top because you're viewing the page you donut

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 20:05, archived)

I was comedically implying I was one half of late 80's hardcore rap act MC Miker G & DJ Sven, top comment is from me, I mean Miker

( broadsword, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 20:50, archived)

ah. i see. thanks. i feel a bit silly.
who's the donut now
( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 20:55, archived)

Not MC Miker G that's for sure! Ha ha

( broadsword, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 20:58, archived)

not clicking that, might be hippity-hoppity

( .Yeti., Sat 8 Aug 2026, 19:52, archived)

i started listening and now i can't stop

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 20:09, archived)

ity

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 20:41, archived)

bty

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 20:41, archived)

I just planted some radish seeds
No idea why, I just like radishes and I'm very drunk.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 23:51, archived)

Sounds like a good enough reason to me.

( .Yeti., Sun 9 Aug 2026, 9:12, archived)

Afternoon
I’m in a lovely pub in a tiny village 10 miles out of Penrith and I have a pint and a book. It’s nice.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 12:04, archived)

Can't be all that good if you're posting on b3ta.com while you're there.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 12:23, archived)

"I'm not happy until you're not happy"
Don't be such a negative nancy Dave, you're always such a negative nancy Dave, why are you such a negative nancy Dave?
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 12:40, archived)

, Trouser

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 12:41, archived)

Alright brb 2.0?
Your inferencing is broken, Sir. Garold's Blog is just very boring.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 12:45, archived)

How dare you! How! Dare! You!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 12:49, archived)

muhahaha!
Have a lovely Saturday.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 13:23, archived)

I think it's because he's a shitcunt

( mongychops, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 12:46, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8482477
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 12:48, archived)

This is the confirmation I needed.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 12:50, archived)

One of the squirrels went for me yesterday, the fucker, there's an insanely aggressive one but there are a couple others that look just like it.
Turns out the easiest way to find out is to feed them when they're all winding each other up. The aggressive one will try to FUCK YOU UP and then you'll know. David Fuckin Attenborough please like and subscribe
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 12:49, archived)

I saw a few in Thailand. They are black and white. Mad

( mongychops, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 12:59, archived)

I know you know what you're doing but don't get involved mongy, not worth it

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 15:07, archived)

They were very much tree orientated

( mongychops, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 15:53, archived)

don't get blind drunk and have sex with a stranger
hello
("TEMU Bou", Sat 8 Aug 2026, 13:16, archived)

I've just got back from the Chinese supermarket
£105 well spent.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 16:56, archived)

that must have bought a lot of stuff

("TEMU Bou", Sat 8 Aug 2026, 19:50, archived)

Less than you'd think

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 20:49, archived)

here the Chinese shops are quite cheap
and there are quite a few of them
("TEMU Bou", Sun 9 Aug 2026, 15:19, archived)

Morgan Deadman

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 17:53, archived)

FAKE NEWS

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 18:11, archived)

Shawshank Redeadtion

( broadsword, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 18:52, archived)

Morguean Freeman

( Cheers Cheers, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 19:07, archived)

He'

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 8 Aug 2026, 19:14, archived)

oh no
don't tell me Morgan Freeman has died 😭
("TEMU Bou", Sat 8 Aug 2026, 19:51, archived)

He's alive!
89
("TEMU Bou", Sat 8 Aug 2026, 19:53, archived)

William Obit

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 22:54, archived)

Little more conversation
Obit more action
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 23:31, archived)

Train was cancelled
Got told to get the one to Crewe and change to a replacement bus. That was a loooong time ago. Now leaving Lancaster. Urgh. I detest the north.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 23:48, archived)

Actually. Lancaster looks pretty nice.

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 23:49, archived)

No, all of it is shit

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 0:05, archived)

You could be right

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 0:07, archived)

Poor Burt

( mongychops, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 2:35, archived)

I liked it
plus Heysham rock tombs are ace
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 9:52, archived)

What are those?
I've been through Heysham no end of times for the ferry, but never stopped to look around.
( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 13:12, archived)

I lived and worked in and around Lancaster for over 25 years
Some parts are lovely, others not so much - just like every other city.

Please subscribe to my blog
( Cheers Cheers, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 10:03, archived)

the pub next to Crewe Station is the worst boozer I have ever been in

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 9:51, archived)

'replacement bus'
The only thing to say that will rattle a British person.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 11:35, archived)

Orbit’s Will?

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 0:06, archived)

Big fat smelly sweaty tits

( mongychops, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 2:35, archived)

You'll probably feel better if you wash them with the little hose thing.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 8 Aug 2026, 10:39, archived)

We’ve already done this, do try and keep up
morning, I mean
( Cheers Cheers, Sat 8 Aug 2026, 8:24, archived)

Hiya gang, I'm in Cornwall. Deffo going to catch Ozric Tentacles at the Treworgey Tree Fayre later.
Might piss on a piskie on the way there.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 7 Aug 2026, 17:37, archived)

Cornwall's luverly.
Driving into Mousehole so the bay hoves into view just as the sun is setting is spectacular.
( .Yeti., Fri 7 Aug 2026, 18:22, archived)

Pronounced 'mowzel' innit

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 19:00, archived)

I pronounce it ‘GUNTSTENCH’

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 19:03, archived)

You would say that

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 19:03, archived)

Bollocks

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 19:04, archived)

Indeed

( .Yeti., Fri 7 Aug 2026, 19:11, archived)

salma hayek's bumtits

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 19:16, archived)

Remember to be considerate to lady b3tans.
Just because Salma Hayek's bumtits, doesn't mean Ian Botham's footpenis.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 7 Aug 2026, 19:43, archived)

Yes, it does.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 20:48, archived)

I couldn't give a rat's ass

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 19:13, archived)

a mouse's arse, surely

( .Yeti., Fri 7 Aug 2026, 19:23, archived)

Yes, that was the joke. Well done.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 19:38, archived)

my best friend in the whole world is from Cornwall

("TEMU Bou", Fri 7 Aug 2026, 18:39, archived)

Please delete your b3ta account.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 19:17, archived)

+many
+s
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 7 Aug 2026, 19:39, archived)

the others are all banned
so I can't delete them
even if I knew how to do that
EDIT: there is no delete option in the profile page
("TEMU Bou", Fri 7 Aug 2026, 19:48, archived)

Can't I just hang around a little longer?
I'm feeling nostalgic
("TEMU Bou", Fri 7 Aug 2026, 19:45, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8482538
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 20:53, archived)

At least you didn't choose
b3ta.com/talk/8482539

🤣looking on the bright side since 1969 🌈
("TEMU Bou", Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:00, archived)

I'm watching a film
Guess which one
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 19:30, archived)

Transsexual Babysitters 5

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 19:35, archived)

+h

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 7 Aug 2026, 19:40, archived)

the princess bride?

("TEMU Bou", Fri 7 Aug 2026, 19:53, archived)

Chuckie’s Bride

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 19:54, archived)

Runaway bride?

("TEMU Bou", Fri 7 Aug 2026, 19:57, archived)

It's nothing to do with transsexuals or brides

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 20:05, archived)

Maybe you could give 1 clue

("TEMU Bou", Fri 7 Aug 2026, 20:08, archived)

It's mentioned on here almost daily

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 20:19, archived)

Is it Good Morning Vietnam?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 7 Aug 2026, 20:30, archived)

No

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 20:32, archived)

backdoor sluts 9?

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 20:59, archived)

I've got
bums, poo, cock, gay, etc going through my head and no matches to any movies 🎥 🤣💩
stumped
("TEMU Bou", Fri 7 Aug 2026, 20:58, archived)

A Nightmare On Belm Street

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 7 Aug 2026, 20:06, archived)

Transsexual Babysitters 4?

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 20:28, archived)

NO

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 20:33, archived)

No guntry for old men?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 20:44, archived)

Top Gunt?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 20:45, archived)

Gunts of Navarone?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 20:47, archived)

Young Gunts?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 20:48, archived)

NO GUNTS

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 20:50, archived)

TLC'szzzźz

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:55, archived)

Smeggy Sue Got Married?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 20:52, archived)

Edward Smeggyhands?

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 20:54, archived)

The Smeg?

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 20:55, archived)

Smeggy vs Jason?

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 20:57, archived)

Transsexual Babysitters 2?

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 20:57, archived)

Bellraiser?

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:00, archived)

Forest Gunt?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:02, archived)

Smeggy Professor 2: The Gunts?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:02, archived)

Kill Bell?

( broadsword, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:03, archived)

Bell And Ted's Smegsellent Adventure?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:05, archived)

The Bells Have Japs-eyes

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:07, archived)

Flebber?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:03, archived)

Madame Fleb?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:04, archived)

Dilbaro Unchained?

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:04, archived)

TELL US THE MOVIE SMASH
Put us out of our misery
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:05, archived)

It's fucking Geostorm

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:08, archived)

GEOSTORM

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:19, archived)

NEOSTORM
.
"I do like The Asylum disaster movie because i like how cheesy and camping movie can feel like"
CARRY ON CHEESY AND CAMPING
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:45, archived)

never heard of it

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 23:18, archived)

The Gunt for Smeg Cocktober?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:07, archived)

The Queer Gunter?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:07, archived)

Shambo: Fist Gunt?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:08, archived)

Cocky?

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:09, archived)

Cock Suck and Two Smoking Bumholes

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:11, archived)

King Cock

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:26, archived)

The Cock?

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:09, archived)

The Italian Knob

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:14, archived)

The Bumming Man?

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:10, archived)

Transsexual Babysitters 3?

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:13, archived)

Geostorm?

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:15, archived)

YES

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:29, archived)

Guntbusters?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:18, archived)

Gunt with the wind?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:22, archived)

Judge Smegg

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:24, archived)

Hobocock

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:24, archived)

Shart Circuit

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:25, archived)

Finding Weehole?

( broadsword, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:36, archived)

Good Weehole Hunting?

( broadsword, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:41, archived)

You're all very silly

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 22:19, archived)

My god it really still is still the 1980s down there
The same in Italy - they're still playing 80s disco all the time.
( fross Read your email on, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 19:40, archived)

Ozrics are on Saturday afternoon YOU FUCKING IDIOT
just before Hawkwind
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 21:53, archived)

Are Tangerine Dream playing?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 22:20, archived)

Good afternoon, penis's
Weekend woo etc. Gonna go outdoor swimming at Canary Wharf 2moz and smoke some ribs Sun.

There's also a strong possibility I may frot a frog.

U
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 12:28, archived)

Working, sadly
If I have time I may teabag a tortoise
( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 12:29, archived)

Unlucky

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 12:45, archived)

Unlucky for the tortoise I mean!!!!!!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 12:46, archived)

I no rite!!1

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 12:58, archived)

Getting 2 / 7
www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4gx6yj56y6o
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 13:09, archived)

3/7 #votebinface

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 13:21, archived)

3/7, considerably marginally better than yow

( .Yeti., Fri 7 Aug 2026, 13:22, archived)

3/7 way worse than last week

("TEMU Bou", Fri 7 Aug 2026, 14:16, archived)

William Morbid

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 13:30, archived)

Came here for this

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 15:55, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8430916
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 7 Aug 2026, 13:46, archived)

I'm not doing anything
Might flapslap a flamingo
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 13:47, archived)

I was just with my Italian vet
he lived and worked in England (cambridge) for 20+ years
he said the British vets and doctors are the best in the world
they work more efficiently than italians and that hard work and merit are rewarded rather than targeted as they are in italy by jealous people
he also said the salaries are 5 times higher
so we asked him why he came back to italy
he said the British people are repressed so they get blind drunk in the pub and then have sex with strangers and they have awful food and worse wine and they're boring
and the weather is shit
so far I can only attest to two of those things
maybe that's why we love /talk cos we can have tourettes on here with no social repercussions 🤣😂🤣😂
nobody cares what you say here
unless you're me 😒
("TEMU Bou", Fri 7 Aug 2026, 14:36, archived)

TITS! BUM! WANK!

("TEMU Bou", Fri 7 Aug 2026, 14:38, archived)

Wiiliam Orbituary

( $$ ✅, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 14:50, archived)

This is much better than mine

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 15:08, archived)

alrite Queef
Happy frotting
( fross Read your email on, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 16:48, archived)

Stilliam Orbit

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 16:50, archived)

William Orbitit

( fross Read your email on, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 19:41, archived)

Went opticians today. Walked out 20 minutes later with prescription glasses for 26 quid. Just a heads up ( I brought my prescription with me for such a scenario)

( mongychops, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 17:26, archived)

morning fuckfumblers!

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 6:41, archived)

Bit rude.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 7:10, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 7:19, archived)

Vel+cro=velcro, maybe yours will catch on.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 7 Aug 2026, 7:56, archived)

Fumblefuckers, shirley?

( Octo I ruin everything., Fri 7 Aug 2026, 8:05, archived)

Afternoon

( mongychops, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 8:17, archived)

Was the like The Flumps
but with more sex?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 8:26, archived)

Calm down, Pootle

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 8:32, archived)

are we led it off the road

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 12:51, archived)

arseboon dilbaro

( Cheers Cheers, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 10:50, archived)

Hullo bumstain's

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 12:21, archived)

My bum has been sparkling fresh for months. I enjoy the washing your arse with a hose .

( mongychops, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 12:22, archived)

+r
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 6 Aug 2026, 12:27, archived)

Beware

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 13:22, archived)

How that never got a fp

( mongychops, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 13:33, archived)

Very civilised really

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 13:58, archived)

It is, if you get shit anywhere else on your body you don't just wipe it away with a bit of paper, you wash yourself. Bums should be the same

( mongychops, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 14:03, archived)

When you put it like that, just wiping is fucking grim

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 14:24, archived)

Advice to women with UTIs has always been "wipe front to back", which sums up the hazards

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 16:52, archived)

Well that would explain the high rate of reattendance for UTI patients after being directed to Pharmacy First, there was me thinking they were being prescribed antibiotics.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 16:59, archived)

I knew there was something else we were supposed to do

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 17:07, archived)

I'm just going to give up wiping.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 15:01, archived)

^manosphere chud

(piss and shit, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 15:44, archived)

need to start first eh

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 16:51, archived)

Lent's not for ages yet though

( fross Read your email on, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 17:07, archived)

I've been living the post-wipe life for years

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 20:11, archived)

Indeed, inside and out

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 16:55, archived)

Also, I don't believe you've ever washed my arse.
Although I've been wrong before, I suppose.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 6 Aug 2026, 17:41, archived)

He didn't say what he washed it *with*

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 18:21, archived)

b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=98726
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 19:38, archived)

rude

(piss and shit, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 21:12, archived)

Hello

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 13:10, archived)

How's life

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 13:59, archived)

Not bad

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 15:16, archived)

alright

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 13:22, archived)

what up G money

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 13:59, archived)

word

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 19:39, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8456119
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 13:47, archived)

Beautiful

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 14:10, archived)

alrite

( fross Read your email on, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 14:34, archived)

fross

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 15:30, archived)

Queef

( fross Read your email on, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 17:08, archived)

more of a taint stainer myself

( $$ ✅, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 14:47, archived)

I'm a skiddy bollocks man at heart

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 15:31, archived)

I'm a at heart + , walking down the street
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 16:49, archived)

Fucking hell, just walking into my consultation room to find a work experience student who had put his bag on my chair, plugged his phone into my laptop to charge and told me that he was low key bored and asked if it was ok to gossip about patients.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 16:54, archived)

At least it makes your review/feedback on him simple

( fross Read your email on, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 17:08, archived)

was the gossip any good?

(piss and shit, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 17:13, archived)

He should be flayed alive for using "low key" like that, before you consider anything else.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 6 Aug 2026, 20:11, archived)

This is definitely the most important point to raise.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 21:13, archived)

How many times does he say "vibe" in one sentence?

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 20:12, archived)

They speak in sentences??
You must have found a live one.
( fross Read your email on, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 20:43, archived)

Many. I did at one point offer to bring in an interpreter as I had no fucking idea what he was on about

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 21:34, archived)

I think it's reasonable to slap the shit out of the younger generations

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 21:11, archived)

alright every person over 25 since the dawn of time

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 21:14, archived)

I'm deeply saddened to think this may be how my daughters may end up speaking

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 21:36, archived)

morning morning
morning all
( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 6:14, archived)

Hi

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 6:52, archived)

morning cunt

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 7:09, archived)

móřńįņġ

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 7:32, archived)

*puts this nect to your post*
www.diy.com/departments/nippon-ant-killer-liquid-gel-25g/96127131_BQ.prd
(piss and shit, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 8:36, archived)

nect
also *klaxon*
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 8:39, archived)

nect is related to neath

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 7 Aug 2026, 22:43, archived)

Morning has morninged, like the first morning!
Morning-y morning, morning-y morn'.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 6 Aug 2026, 7:59, archived)

akshally, morning has hi'd
See b3ta.com/talk/8482408
( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 8:08, archived)

Yep
Edit: I ran into work today and passed the replica of Sir Francis Drake's ship, The Pelican, just as I was listening to a history podcast about his piracy on behalf of Elizabeth I.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 8:11, archived)

dangerous game this. that's the kind of moment when *wavy screen* and the next step you take you're back there
( vladimir, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 11:07, archived)

Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr. Garold stepped into the B3tum Leap accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own and driven by an unknown force to change history for the worse. His only guide on this journey is vladimir, an observer from his own time, who appears in the form of a hologram that only Garold can see and hear. And so, Dr. Garold finds himself leaping from life to life, striving to put wrong what once went wrong and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 11:38, archived)

www.reddit.com/r/HighQualityGifs/s/dC1Wqmg3Vu
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 6 Aug 2026, 12:54, archived)

The mirror's the wrong way round

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 13:43, archived)

Wake up, it's a beautiful morning!
Actually I have no idea if 'morning' is beautiful, no offence but I suspect not.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 8:11, archived)

morning, earlier:
knowyourmeme.com/videos/277886-how-do-you-do-fellow-kids
(piss and shit, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 8:38, archived)

Might do some pub rapping l8r

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 8:55, archived)

and shit

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 9:55, archived)

-pub -p

( Cheers Cheers, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 10:07, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 10:21, archived)

50 years ago today Eric Clapton went on his famous racist rant onstage in Birmingham.
Just saying.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 12:51, archived)

SEND THEM BACK

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 12:58, archived)

I preferred his homophobic period, "there'll be no more queers in heaven"

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 13:09, archived)

Not sure that's accurate
g-a-yandheaven.co.uk/
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 13:29, archived)

I somehow doubt he's a regular.
I mean I have no evidence that the racist wife-beating anti-vaxxer is also a homophobe, it's just a guess.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 13:50, archived)

all of this is news to me but I always had him figured as a cunt, not sure why

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 14:14, archived)

The anti-vaxx stuff was actually pretty funny.
He was giving it all this "I don't know what's in the stuff, and it's made by unscrupulous people who only care about money", having spent the 70s and 80s taking in all likelihood millions of dollars worth of cocaine and heroin.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 5 Aug 2026, 19:55, archived)

I told you that in confidence m8

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 21:37, archived)

...along with whatever the fuck each step of the supply chain had bulked it out with, sound logical thinking there Eric

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 0:08, archived)

Yeah, Olympic-level projection by the cunt there.
What really boils my piss when people say shit like that is:
A) they have zero conception of how tightly regulated and controlled every step of pharmaceutical manufacturing is, directly as a result of things that have gone wrong in the past, and
B) the motives of the vast majority of people working in the industry weren't formed by a malignant desire to cause harm to people. I must have slept through the lecture at uni when they indoctrinated us into the *real* sinister motives of the lizard people controlling our every moves.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 6:07, archived)

Of course you slept through it!
- hypnotism, right?
( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 7:49, archived)

Yeah, but you *would* say that, wouldn't you.
*adjusts tinfoil hat*
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 6 Aug 2026, 8:05, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 9:47, archived)

I gather it was the heroin and booze that made him racist,
just like the sleeping pills that made Roseanne Barr racist. If only we could just get rid of all the drugs and alcohol, there would be no racism.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 13:00, archived)

TBF, queef's no stranger to substances or racism either

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 13:03, archived)

Are you saying he's into white pow(d)er?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 5 Aug 2026, 13:21, archived)

Yes.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 14:12, archived)

Happy anniversary. 13hr coach tonight

( mongychops, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 13:07, archived)

where to?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 13:11, archived)

I think it's a sex act

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 13:18, archived)

It does look like a go go bar
ibb.co/gFvX2k54
( mongychops, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 13:34, archived)

looks like a hospital in a dystopian scifi movie

(piss and shit, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 13:35, archived)

Vietnamese buses have come a long way in 20 years,
pretty sure I was sharing mine with livestock
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 13:48, archived)

-come +gone

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 13:54, archived)

-ietnamese +enga

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 14:07, archived)

Ninh binh

( mongychops, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 13:32, archived)

oh nice, it's fucking ace

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 13:38, archived)

Was there a couple of months ago. I'm heading up to Ba be national park, do some fishing. Probably have to return to the UK in 7 weeks sort my shit out as we'll have a sale date in the next couple of months

( mongychops, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 14:29, archived)

Be sure to check out Tam Coc - Bich Dong while you're in the area

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 13:53, archived)

I was sure I remembered an anecdote about a place called Ban Me Twat.
I typed that into Google, and the AI assistant assumed I was talking to it.

"I cannot ban you, as I am an AI assistant and do not have an account system or the power to ban users. If you want to stop using this service, you can simply close the chat window or stop messaging."
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 13:59, archived)

Alright Viz's Mr. Logic
Seriously though, a few hundred thousand more datacenters and this will all get sorted
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 14:12, archived)

It's already nailed HappyToast's speech style, if it learns how to draw feet then he really is fucked

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 14:47, archived)

I found a site about twatt camping
Can't imagine how many flaps jokes they've had to put up with
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 16:00, archived)

In local dialect it's pronounced "twott", true story

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 17:55, archived)

Just arrived at tam coc

( mongychops, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 0:12, archived)

Bich Dong awaits

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 16:48, archived)

rivers of bludclot

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 13:22, archived)

What a twat

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 13:28, archived)

I was just reminded of The Jonas Brothers, and now I'm reminding you, because I fuck your sunshine

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 16:17, archived)

Lens first draftzzzz

(piss and shit, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 16:41, archived)

Morecombe & Wise got dark

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 18:02, archived)

You make me happy, when your skies are gray
fuck it wrong song
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 18:55, archived)

Bring Me Slaughter

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 6 Aug 2026, 0:19, archived)

I trust you'll be re-enacting it tonight in front of your bedroom mirror, Taxi Driver-style, after a few lines of bugle.

( .Yeti., Wed 5 Aug 2026, 20:38, archived)

Morning

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 7:55, archived)

we started that already
b3ta.com/talk/8482345
( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 8:32, archived)

we didn't start the morning
it was always morning since the world's been morning
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 8:42, archived)

Yes but we can stop it.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 8:51, archived)

Today I learned that Billy Joel's daughter once tried to stop it all by overdosing on homeopathic medicine.
'An NYU Medical Center toxicologist said the drug has "no active ingredient" and indicated that it was essentially impossible to overdose ("basically you'd be taking more of nothing").'
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 12:29, archived)

I overdosed on homeopathic medicine once
I'd forgotten to take it
(piss and shit, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 13:35, archived)

I only ever dispensed one prescription for a homeopathic product when I thought "you know, this is arguably justifiable".
Young-ish woman getting a very nasty cocktail of psychiatric drugs (antipsychotics, anxiolytics, anti-epileptics) and among the 12 drugs was some homeopathic nonsense with directions to take when required for anxiety. I know it's a placebo, the prescribing doctor knows it's a placebo, hell even the patient probably knows it's a placebo. But it's not going to do any harm and maybe it made her feel better.

So that's once in my 28 years of being a pharmacist, under homeopathic principles that probably counts as very potent evidence.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 18:09, archived)

I think you'll find we did

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 9:05, archived)

Belts and braces

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 9:16, archived)

t l bra fae
( Cheers Cheers, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 10:04, archived)

I'm just nipping down to the Bell and Faeces for a pint
/Marc Almond
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 12:45, archived)

garold

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 9:50, archived)

Hello

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 10:52, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 10:25, archived)

Morns

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 10:52, archived)

afternoon, you mean

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 12:10, archived)

that is what I meant
yes
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 12:33, archived)

Alright

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 23:42, archived)

alright

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 1:03, archived)

i can't believe you've done this

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 2:02, archived)

He's despicable

( mongychops, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 3:15, archived)

morning

( Cheers Cheers, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 5:18, archived)

Morning

( mongychops, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 5:31, archived)

horrible

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Wed 5 Aug 2026, 7:11, archived)

i think I understand now
it's been troubling me for 2 days
i think there have been some users on here who have pissed you guys off
so you're nervous of new people being them
because if you welcome that newbie into the community
and they turn out to be one of them
then you have 🍳 on your face
TOTALLY UNDERSTANDABLE
and that's why anonymity can suck sometimes
i apologise for my departure message, it seems it was annoying
but i spent a lot of time on here and could see it becoming a habit
so decided to nip it in the bud
did not mean to offend anyone
maybe i should have not said anything and just stopped posting
i thought the "temu bou" was incredibly funny so i decided to keep it
and i am not temu bou
i am the real bou
sorry for everything
ciao
("TEMU Bou", Tue 4 Aug 2026, 22:04, archived)

Prevening

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 16:39, archived)

Fuck you, mr horrible, fuck you

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 16:42, archived)

Your eloquence is unparalleled, dickface

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 16:48, archived)

your ALL gay

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 17:55, archived)

actually it's your BALLS gay

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 17:57, archived)

Nothing wrong with being gay

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 18:05, archived)

Damned autocorrect, I meant there's nothing WORSE than being gay

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 18:05, archived)

im not gay im super gay

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 18:15, archived)

Then I hope you get SUPER AIDS

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 18:20, archived)

I don't mind them being gay, I just don't want it rammed down my throat, you know?
Like a big, beautiful, juicy, veiny cock.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 4 Aug 2026, 19:23, archived)

Work time for me

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 16:55, archived)

On my way home

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 17:18, archived)

Precum

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 17:04, archived)

No thanks, I'm trying to give it up

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 17:17, archived)

Postcum?

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 18:05, archived)

Après-ski cum

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 18:07, archived)

fruit flavoured

(piss and shit, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 19:06, archived)

If you like a lot of cum on your biscuit...

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 18:09, archived)

GENTSTENCH

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 17:37, archived)

that was supposed to say Gunt but I’m not correcting it

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 17:38, archived)

it was how they used to market Hai Karate

(piss and shit, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 17:47, archived)

Ah, the father's day present of the 80's

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 17:59, archived)

It sounds like a town in the Netherlands.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 4 Aug 2026, 20:17, archived)

yep, it's a lovely early afternoon
Anyone here got previous with squirrels? Complete this sentence:
One summer I decided to begin feeding the local squirrels, but I very quickly realized ...
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 18:43, archived)

I get muntjac deer in my new back garden
and one very confident squirrel - but fuck feeding it.

I might put out dog food for the hedgehogs though
(piss and shit, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 19:08, archived)

strikey g butt fuck it

(piss and shit, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 19:09, archived)

Run out of hedgehog food?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 4 Aug 2026, 19:24, archived)

weeeuuurms!

(piss and shit, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 19:37, archived)

…I hated squirrels and my life and everything so I killed everyone and then myself

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 20:25, archived)

Alright, Syncubus.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 4 Aug 2026, 20:59, archived)

NO I NEVER

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 21:23, archived)

afternoon, yeah?

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 12:13, archived)

Fucking looks like it an all

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 12:17, archived)

Indubitably.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 12:21, archived)

Is there a functional difference between 'indubitably' and 'undoubtedly'?
- aside from pretentiosity quotient?
( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 14:47, archived)

Is there a functional difference between 'pretentiosity quotient' and 'ponciness'?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 14:50, archived)

Ponciness is more perfumed.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 4 Aug 2026, 15:03, archived)

I'LL MURDER THE PAIR O' YE'S

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 15:09, archived)

MURDER MOIDA
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 4 Aug 2026, 15:22, archived)

alright Max

(piss and shit, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 15:38, archived)

Crikey lads, they've seen through my veil of sophistication!

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 17:59, archived)

Dubitably.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 14:58, archived)

Hi cheers

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 13:40, archived)

GET YOUR ASS TO MARS

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 13:49, archived)

*sends Elon Musk to Mars*
oh sorry, I thought you said FUCKING ASSHOLE CUNT WANKER
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 13:51, archived)

Total Recunt

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 13:53, archived)

The Wart on the Worlds

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 14:03, archived)

John Cunter of Mars

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 14:07, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Servants_of_the_Wankh
( broadsword, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 15:08, archived)

Slave to the Rhythm

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 15:25, archived)

'Title Changes'

(piss and shit, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 15:26, archived)

Challenge Wanneka

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 15:33, archived)

If you wannek be my lover

( broadsword, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 18:41, archived)

haha no way!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 14:06, archived)

I believe so

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 14:13, archived)

I'm not sure what the former Page 3 Stunnah will bring to the table, but good on you Katie!
www.theguardian.com/world/2026/aug/04/jordan-convenes-emergency-meeting-israel-religious-conflict-jerusalem
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 14:16, archived)

Dammit, you got me.
In my defence, it's no crazier than Tony Blair being made Middle East peace envoy.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 4 Aug 2026, 14:41, archived)

I remember when Ginger Spice was made a UN envoy
that was ... an odd choice.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 15:53, archived)

Just because she has big tits.
This country!
(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 16:26, archived)

morning

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 6:17, archived)

morning

( Cheers Cheers, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 6:23, archived)

You're getting my sloppy seconds morning, I've already smashed it

( mongychops, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 6:41, archived)

morning has been broken

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 6:44, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 6:58, archived)

morning

( MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 6:43, archived)

Morning

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 7:54, archived)

i am doing a poo

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 8:12, archived)

poo chat was yesterday, I thought we were doing pee today

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 8:18, archived)

Wasn't it wanky wanky wank wank chat today?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 12:53, archived)

Hey

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 8:23, archived)

PLOPJOBBIES

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 11:15, archived)

Wee Jock Poopong McPlop

(piss and shit, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 11:53, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8478137
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 11:58, archived)

Dead Liddle

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 14:52, archived)

I didn't know him personally, but he gave every indication of being an absolute cunt, commiserations to his loved ones

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 14:55, archived)

this, very much so

(piss and shit, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 14:55, archived)

the list of people eulogising him is a cavalcade of arseholes
so that gives some indication of his character
(piss and shit, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:00, archived)

whos the most embarrasing eulogiser, in your opinion?

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:09, archived)

rebecah brooks has got to be in the running

(piss and shit, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:33, archived)

Careful she'll beat you up

( mongychops, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:49, archived)

oh oh here she comes
watch out boy she'll beat you up
woah oh here she comes
she's a manbeater
(piss and shit, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 16:02, archived)

Ross Kemp On Domestic Abuse

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 16:05, archived)

she chump
s
she chump
s te
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 16:20, archived)

Joe Pasquale
or Russell Brand.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 22:39, archived)

OD Liddle

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 14:55, archived)

Liddle Enlarged heart
*not sure of exact cause of death but guessing his ticker gave out
(piss and shit, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 14:57, archived)

"short illness" suggests aggressive cancer, probably prostate cancer that was not detected until far too late. I have a doctorate in advanced clinical headline interpretation, and this is my diagnosis.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:00, archived)

probably refused to go to the doctor because the NHS is too woke, or something.
Fucking bellend.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:17, archived)

Short illness can also refer to how long it takes a bullet to remove the brain

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:47, archived)

Sudden-onset headache immediately followed by sudden resolution

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:49, archived)

Weird how 'a long illness' and 'a short illness' are both euphemisms for cancer.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:49, archived)

And AIDS

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:50, archived)

To the untrained eye, perhaps

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:51, archived)

that's the long and the short of it.
You never hear of anyone having a medium illness, do you? WAKE UP SHEEPLE
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 16:00, archived)

WRONG! It means he died from previously undiagnosed dwarfism

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 21:40, archived)

Liddle bit less controversial now

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:07, archived)

Liddle less palpitations

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:20, archived)

a little more inaction

(piss and shit, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:34, archived)

Fewer

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:48, archived)

Rod's Lid'llbeattachedtohiscoffinbynow

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:23, archived)

lol

(piss and shit, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:35, archived)

candleol

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:38, archived)

Happy Candleday!

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:48, archived)

Thanks Mr Enium!

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 16:18, archived)

22 years?
Neeeerrrrrrrrrd!
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 18:15, archived)

Neeee AaaAAAaaaaaaAaAAaa
+vark

:D
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 20:21, archived)

That too.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 11:40, archived)

Okay (Okay, okay, okay)
Just a Liddle, Rod prick
There'll be no more
But you may feel a little sick
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:40, archived)

Had to look him up
Sounds like a cunt of some sort.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:43, archived)

Piddle I called him

( mongychops, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:48, archived)

+where did you come from, where did you gim?

(piss and shit, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:55, archived)

Are you related?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 15:57, archived)

Jimmyzzz ..

( mongychops, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 16:04, archived)

One of those twats
where you can't tell whether they're constantly churning out the worst, most offensive opinions possible in order to get a rise out of people or whether they genuinely believe them and are just a massive cunt.
( .Yeti., Mon 3 Aug 2026, 17:05, archived)

I think if you choose the path of being a professional contrarian
you're already a massive cunt
(piss and shit, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 17:07, archived)

True, that is tragic and cuntish behaviour in its own right.

( .Yeti., Mon 3 Aug 2026, 17:13, archived)

Pathetic right-wing edgelord keyboard hardman in his 60s, fucking pathetic.
I wonder what his /links username was.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 17:38, archived)

b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=19246
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 3 Aug 2026, 19:13, archived)

Jimmy Casket

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 17:32, archived)

Jimmy Crickets

(piss and shit, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 17:44, archived)

Jimmy Croaked it

(piss and shit, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 17:45, archived)

Jimmy Carked it

( broadsword, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 19:24, archived)

There's not any more.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 21:40, archived)

short illness :(

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 22:10, archived)

Hi queef, ever met Eddy Temple-Morris?
He looks like he has halitosis.
(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 19:14, archived)

Never heard of him
But he looks an absolute twat
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 20:36, archived)

He did pretty well when he was in charge of Radio 4's Today programme
so he could do a job. But yes. He was a monumental twunt who had the kind of hilariously un-PC opinions that had wankers from down the golf club saying, "That Rod Liddle, he should be prime minister..." Kind of like Jeremy Clarkson without the comedy timing and worse hair.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 22:38, archived)

for all his flaws

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 7:37, archived)

You know when people say they couldn't give two shits?
I could, and in fact have. Three actually. I might even stretch to a fourth l8r.

How are we all today?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 12:49, archived)

3rd August
I want more summer
MORE
( vladimir, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 12:51, archived)

Yeah really not looking forward to the old '6 months of darkness, cold and rain' thing

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 12:52, archived)

Ngl, I could go for some rain right now.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 3 Aug 2026, 12:58, archived)

Getting married Alanis?

( mongychops, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:00, archived)

10,000 spoons as a wedding gift

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:01, archived)

as the plane goes down on you in a theater

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:12, archived)

A joke still worth making after 19 years.
b3ta.com/board/7795572
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:13, archived)

Increasingly I think when I get around to the screenplay of all this I'll be writing us all in sour old waspish McKellenesque voices
( vladimir, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:32, archived)

mixture of Happy Days and As Time Goes By
( vladimir, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:33, archived)

my skinks, I posted a few
but then again
too few to mention
( vladimir, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:34, archived)

It's no biscuit crumbs

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:50, archived)

Ain't getting away with that shit now. Internet went bent

( mongychops, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:52, archived)

Cheery Tomato too

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:56, archived)

Those were good.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:59, archived)

forgot about that, dora the explorer tho

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 14:05, archived)

Interesting fact, the original version of the song WAS actually ironic but unfortunately for the radio edit Alanis was forced to change 'rape' to 'rain'.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 10:00, archived)

Pretty fucking smeg m8, ngl

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:01, archived)

Sounds well smeggy

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:55, archived)

I'm cool, love these people. 70k for a phone charger, then he bought me a 20k beer. So much better than the land of fake smiles of Thailand

( mongychops, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:02, archived)

You're still not seeing any tourists?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:54, archived)

They're a cheeky, fun-loving bunch I found

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:54, archived)

^sex tourist

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:57, archived)

I’m all fired up.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:14, archived)

Woooooo

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:53, archived)

Four discreet ones at intervals
or a single one crimped off into smaller shitlets as it emerges?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:23, archived)

Who the fuck doesn't consider it to be the total output in one sitting?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:26, archived)

I did a poo/ am going for a poo - one sitting's worth
there's a poo on your doorstep - one log
there's some poo on your doorstep - one or more poos
(piss and shit, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:43, archived)

by extrapolation, then
if there's some poo on your doorstep and someone says "there's a poo on your doorstep", either it was them or they saw it happening because otherwise how would they know?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:54, archived)

I'd have thought you of all people would know this, obviously samples are taken and they are sent for analysis, duh

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:57, archived)

you can't dust for poo

(piss and shit, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:58, archived)

"good thing you didn't step in it"

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 14:03, archived)

or, right, they were passing after the pooer did their first log
but had gone before the pooer returned to add more poos
(piss and shit, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:59, archived)

Ecce! Est pooer.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 14:01, archived)

puella est in atria

(piss and shit, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 14:02, archived)

That does seem reasonable but there is always value in hearing the opposing views of idiots

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:52, archived)

Although, to be fair, I would say there can be multiple distinct episodes in a single sitting

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:56, archived)

what is this, the Shitting Forecast?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:57, archived)

The 00:48 Shitting Forecast, at the end of the broadcast day, is traditionally preceded by the playing of "Sailing By", a light orchestral piece by Ronald Binge.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 14:02, archived)

Pisser, Logger, German Scheiße movie

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 14:09, archived)

with a soundtrack by... Ronald Binge!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 14:42, archived)

And Cilla Black

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 6:59, archived)

separate visits
Minor jobbie at home, full size dump at work then a hideous shit+fart splattery abomination later.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:53, archived)

Shit+fart = shart, maybe yours will oh hang I haven't thought this through.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:58, archived)

haven't thought this just followed
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 14:19, archived)

🤣😂

("TEMU Bou", Wed 5 Aug 2026, 20:58, archived)

🤣😂🤣

("TEMU Bou", Wed 5 Aug 2026, 20:59, archived)

My arse is a sprinkler
Hopefully it won't be tomorrow
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 14:53, archived)

Suggest you get yourself checked for DBC (deadly bum cancer)

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 21:41, archived)

youtu.be/8mFJq3vr7k4?si=JDSSdaVKeKmu_MXE
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 5:48, archived)

I prefer Run-Deadly Minge Cancer.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 9:52, archived)

morning

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 9:03, archived)

bit late for that

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 9:15, archived)

Bollocks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 9:17, archived)

Afternoon

( Sn0tters 🇯🇴🇧🇧🇮🇪, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 12:09, archived)

Evening

( mongychops, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 12:12, archived)

Bit late for that

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 12:13, archived)

mr horrible

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 9:31, archived)

ARSEHOLE

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 9:43, archived)

so mean

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 10:04, archived)

What now right

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 10:13, archived)

Ger

( mongychops, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 9:43, archived)

Dave

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 9:48, archived)

Morning

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 10:51, archived)

Morning

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 11:01, archived)

Morning

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 11:09, archived)

Oh fuck

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 11:10, archived)

22?
Bloody hell, that's a lot of candles!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 11:14, archived)

Yeah, the secret is to be old and unwilling to let go of better times on the internet, clinging on in the vain hope they'll return, knowing they never will.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 12:18, archived)

AaaAaAaaaAAAAaaaAArrrRRRrRrrRrRrdddDdDdDddddddDDDvvvvVVVVvvVVvaaAaaAAAaaaAAaAArrrRrRRrRrkKKKkkkKkkKkkK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111!!11!!!

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 3 Aug 2026, 11:34, archived)

:D

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 12:17, archived)

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

( vladimir, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 11:48, archived)

Your black hearts empower me.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 12:18, archived)

😘

( vladimir, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 12:50, archived)

Do they make you feel like a strong, independent black woman who don't need no man?

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 3 Aug 2026, 12:58, archived)

I don’t know what they feel like, so maybe.
Probably soft and squishy?
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:18, archived)

Sounds like RACIST, SEXIST FAT-SHAMING to me, but as it's your candleday I'll let you off.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:59, archived)

I'll do some more tomorrow then, as I seek your condemnation.
It turns me on.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 14:08, archived)

Wow

( mongychops, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 11:21, archived)

I know, right.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 12:18, archived)

We've all go so old

( mongychops, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 12:46, archived)

Yeah, which makes us the lucky ones.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:20, archived)

Did you know that b3ta.com/talk is considered culturally significant enough to have its own dedicated Wikipedia page?
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bell_Beaker_culture
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 2 Aug 2026, 22:13, archived)

Alright, Stewart Lee

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Sun 2 Aug 2026, 22:40, archived)

coming over here teaching us to drink out of cups
( vladimir, Sun 2 Aug 2026, 22:53, archived)

Actually this stuff fries my crumbs. The gigantic sweep of time and geography that page writes up. fuuuuuuuck. there's a really narrow band of this planet that's habitable and understandable to us really and we don't do well without artificial supports outside of it. and I reckon despite dr who type bollocks the same spplies to time. there's a narrow band of when, where we're safe, and we wouldn't last two minutes if we strayed outside our temporal environment
( vladimir, Sun 2 Aug 2026, 22:57, archived)

what I'm saying is that the beakerfolk would rip our faces off without pausing for breath
( vladimir, Sun 2 Aug 2026, 22:58, archived)

They'd probably be a bit fucked if they had to cross a busy road or use an ATM, though.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 3 Aug 2026, 8:49, archived)

Someone's not seen the documentary bill and Ted's excellent adventure

( mongychops, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 9:41, archived)

Another sad loss I see in forum users. Terrible bullying.

( mongychops, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 2:18, archived)

Cockenbecher, more like!!

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 8:12, archived)