Just saw a woman who looked exactly like Phil LynottPoor cow
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 15 Aug 2026, 15:06,
archived)
just saw a woman that looked exactly like a homeless ungulate(
MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 15 Aug 2026, 15:09,
archived)
now i have that shitty doubled-up lead guitar from boys are back in town in my head :((
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 15 Aug 2026, 15:42,
archived)
(
Cheers Cheers, Sat 15 Aug 2026, 17:26,
archived)
I fucking hate it tooIt's so 'look how clever we are'. It's one of my - but far from the only - problem I have with 'Iron Maiden'.
Johnny the Fox meets Jimmy the Weed has a fucking amazing breakbeat at the start though and no wanker harmony guitars. I spent £50 on the single a few months ago
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 15 Aug 2026, 18:18,
archived)
Phil Lynott's singing/acting performance in Jeff Wayne's musical version of The War of the Worldsis so awful, it's almost brilliant. So much cocaine that you could snort it out of the LP groove.
(, Sat 15 Aug 2026, 18:25, archived)
I'll take your word for it Good old Phil and his troglodyte jaw
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 15 Aug 2026, 21:38,
archived)
Found out relatively recentlythat Ricky Warwick from The Almighty joined as their singer in 2010, a year after I shook his hand in King Tut's in Glasgow after he supported Therapy?. He's fucking tiny.
I realise that most of my celeb anecdotes end with how short they are, so for balance I should mention being dwarfed by Clive Russell in Anstruther.
(, Sat 15 Aug 2026, 18:50, archived)
I could smell you throughout the city(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 15 Aug 2026, 17:42,
archived)
It's like that guy in Silence of the Lambs who says "I can smell your cunt"except
(, Sat 15 Aug 2026, 18:21, archived)
please spare us the details of your disgusting not getting your neck burned fetish (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 15 Aug 2026, 15:43,
archived)
Hiya smelmit'sBoring quiet day here in swinging Chelsea.
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Sat 15 Aug 2026, 13:26,
archived)
the thing i want the most is all the acres of land(
MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 15 Aug 2026, 14:15,
archived)
I'll give you a couple of achers(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 15 Aug 2026, 14:24,
archived)
Off to Bangkok today, before I head to Sri Lanka in a week or so. U up to much ?(
mongychops, Sat 15 Aug 2026, 2:23,
archived)
Having a pooEating breakfast
Drinking wine
Not all at once
(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Sat 15 Aug 2026, 6:29,
archived)
Off to see my nephews. A year since they lost their dad.May have a bbq tomorrow. Will do a full risk assessment first though .
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Sat 15 Aug 2026, 7:38,
archived)
that long huh? shit.i think a wildfire will take their minds off it tho.
(
MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Sat 15 Aug 2026, 14:00,
archived)
Going to hang a picture for the mental Which is risky, considering I'll have a hammer in my hand and she pisses me off.
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sat 15 Aug 2026, 10:27,
archived)
This dog could not see or hear. What the duck did next shocked everyone.This was one of my youtube recommendations today, along with several "See Lefties Losing It" videos. They think I'm Kristi Noem.
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 15 Aug 2026, 12:46,
archived)
“Fuck’s sake, these scissors are only for righties! I can’t work them at all!”(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 15 Aug 2026, 12:55,
archived)
I didn't watch it, not really after shock right now(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 16 Aug 2026, 0:30,
archived)
Fitting some skirting board.It’s party central here.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Sat 15 Aug 2026, 12:56,
archived)
Comedy website wins on the internet alt: afternoon
(
Cheers Cheers, Fri 14 Aug 2026, 12:00,
archived)
At least Laurence Fox came last for being both a cunt and an irrelevant nobody(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 14 Aug 2026, 19:21,
archived)
Oh, I see he's demanded a recunt(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 14 Aug 2026, 19:21,
archived)
That's always cheering news.I'm sure it won't stop him standing next time and continuing his lifelong habit of making an embarrassment of himself.
(
.Yeti., Fri 14 Aug 2026, 20:23,
archived)
I really hope Billie Piper was twatted when she married him (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 14 Aug 2026, 22:51,
archived)
Wikipedia suggests she has a bewigged rugby ball for a head, equipped with an obscenely grinning vagina dentata for a mouth.
Reading that back, it sounds a bit negative.
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 15 Aug 2026, 0:34,
archived)
Oh, is it 2002 again?Hooray! I'm off out to buy that Liam Lynch CD single.
(, Fri 14 Aug 2026, 12:36, archived)
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 14 Aug 2026, 19:51,
archived)
In the US, people use "ascot" for the casual tucked-in style, while in the UK, it is often called a "day cravat".(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 14 Aug 2026, 22:41,
archived)
i was going to do a strikey-g on that but I couldn't think of one (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 14 Aug 2026, 22:47,
archived)
Get cheap top surgery with this one weird trick!(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Fri 14 Aug 2026, 17:59,
archived)
Vier von siebenwww.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c2lq28xvw8po
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 14 Aug 2026, 16:28,
archived)
Blimey 6/7
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 14 Aug 2026, 22:39,
archived)
I'm not a mother (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 14 Aug 2026, 20:26,
archived)
Not really I'm not fond of birds at all, except barn owls, which looks like they've got a crunchy cinnamon sugar topping on their heads.
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 14 Aug 2026, 21:50,
archived)
The Teat Owl is native to the UK and very common in urban areas.(, Fri 14 Aug 2026, 22:56, archived)
Comedy candidate wins in Clactonalt: morning
(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Fri 14 Aug 2026, 6:14,
archived)
Heard him on the radio this morning, throwing his toys out of the prambecause he won a by-election triggered by him throwing his toys out of the pram.
Still, it wasn't a total waste of time, Lozza Fox came a distant 6th and lost his deposit.
(, Fri 14 Aug 2026, 7:51, archived)
For someone who spends his time railing against ‘woke snowflakes’, he does a lot of whining Almost as if him and his rancid excuse for a political party are a bunch of hypocrites
(
Cheers Cheers, Fri 14 Aug 2026, 8:56,
archived)
The Boötes Void is over 330 million light-years across yet contains only 60 galaxies,making it one of the emptiest things in the known universe, perhaps second only to Farage's victory in Clacton.
(
.Yeti., Fri 14 Aug 2026, 8:44,
archived)
Fucker didn't even bother to turn up for the announcement because "security"said the Essex Police told him there was a risk. They denied this and 50pLee accused the cops of being as big a bunch of liars as the BBC. Well fuckadoodle they're not taking winning well are they!
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 14 Aug 2026, 8:45,
archived)
50p? That’s bigotry sortedGuess inflation has to be taken into account
(
Cheers Cheers, Fri 14 Aug 2026, 8:57,
archived)
You know what I've doneI've got 50p ham on my mind. Silly garold.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 14 Aug 2026, 9:24,
archived)
Most of the offices have Aircon So it's cooler in work. Also, everyone who can is working from home, which makes my job a lot easier and means I'm being paid for fuck all.
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 20:29,
archived)
Then you'll die a virgin(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 17:38,
archived)
nah man I did sex up a woman one time you can’t say I didn’t (
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 22:28,
archived)
I actually watched that this morning (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 20:30,
archived)
That's not fucking old skool, b3ta had been dead for 10 years before that came along(, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 20:58, archived)
I'm just not sure if I've ever eaten a tunnocks teacake(
broadsword, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 19:16,
archived)
I'm just not sure if I've ever eaten a tunnocks teacake AND I've never seen any Lord of the Rings films(
broadsword, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 20:04,
archived)
Before they do unto you (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 22:14,
archived)
Did you know there are 170+ underground bunkers all around the world With connecting transport systems?
It's like a subterranean world we don't have access to
(, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 21:11, archived)
AfternoonFlight has been delayed but not enough to get compensated. Boo!
How hot is it where you are?
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 13:09,
archived)
34 degrees and my cat is sunbathing on the windowsill the absolute mad lad(
Cheers Cheers, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 13:13,
archived)
He'll be crispy soon(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 13:26,
archived)
35°, set to hit 36° by early eveningAlso, notice to Americans: hurry up and switch to actual temperatures instead of clinging on to this indecipherable Fahrenheit nonsense.
(
.Yeti., Thu 13 Aug 2026, 13:20,
archived)
Must admitthe Madrid Metro is horrific - the high temperatures are okay above ground are bearable in the dry heat but the moment you go underground and it becomes humid it's quite another matter.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 13:26,
archived)
I've been told to avoid Madrid specifically in the summer.Málaga the first time was pretty brutal; Zakynthos was alright because we were a stone's throw from the sea.
#HeatwaveChat
(
.Yeti., Thu 13 Aug 2026, 13:32,
archived)
31 and sunny with a warm wind The sun is at the side of my house, where there are no windows, so I'm not feeling the heat as much as others.
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 13:33,
archived)
33 here, little to no breeze, everything is made of sweat(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 13:35,
archived)
AfterningI'm in Canada now and it's still only 8am-ish =_= It's nice and cool though, 25C or so today.
Hope your flight took off eventually!
(
fross Read your email on, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 13:37,
archived)
What are you going to do with your schweddy balls?(
fross Read your email on, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 13:56,
archived)
There's jism on his sweater already, wanking over male models on Getty Or saink, I've been drinking
(
mongychops, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 14:04,
archived)
They are budding us out to the plsneAt a very leisurely rate.
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 15:31,
archived)
37 to 39Outside feels like an oven
We are trapped inside with the aircon on
It's 32 now and it's 9.23 pm
(, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 20:23, archived)
Morning! A level results day today. I failed all mine. How did you do?
(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 7:38,
archived)
Four Es and a dab of mandy
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 8:16,
archived)
Two B's and a C.Thirty three years ago.
(
Octo I ruin everything., Thu 13 Aug 2026, 8:34,
archived)
You have just outed yourself as /talk's academic genius(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 8:43,
archived)
1 A+(English) 1 B(History) 2 C's(Maths and French)(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 9:12,
archived)
still waiting for mum to get back from the shops so she can drive me up to the school to find out(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 10:15,
archived)
We don't do A-levels in Scotland, unless you went to an expensive posh school.(, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 10:15, archived)
that can't be right, I'm sure he'd have mentioned it if that were the case(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 10:34,
archived)
I'm starting to think this is rigged www.timeout.com/london/news/english-curry-awards-2026-chillika-bexleyheath-081126
(
mongychops, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 11:29,
archived)
Yeah something shady going on ehI want to go here
www.oudh1722.com/
Chap whose place it is, is a fucking genius.
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 14:01,
archived)
oudh refers to aloeswood, usually the oil but sometimes the woodThe rarest type, kyara, is the most expensive natural wild raw material on earth.
I have a few splinters here, one day I'll burn them.
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 18:49,
archived)
I watched the first 15 minutes of the first episode once,it'll be a cold day in hell before I watch any more
(, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 17:40, archived)
And I told you to stop flinging your web at me, and here we are(
mongychops, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 12:16,
archived)
spend more time with my family of jackals(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 11:24,
archived)
then goes back to the car for more ammo, then finishes them off(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 12:13,
archived)
Ha ha ha, hee hee hee, I'm a laughing Noem and you can't catch me(, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 12:24, archived)
Something’s wrong with the sunAny bright ideas?
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 18:25,
archived)
I would have but it takes 8 minutes to switch off after you hit the power button.So it didn’t seem worth it.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 20:15,
archived)
How exactly does one go about scousing? (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 12 Aug 2026, 21:24,
archived)
claim to be chirpy and naturally funnywhilst simultaneously carrying a chip on your shoulder that's visible from space
(, Thu 13 Aug 2026, 9:53, archived)
I saw it, no cloud at all in Bristol.It’s pretty much back to normal now. Boring old round sun.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 19:40,
archived)
Is there a difference between a bumtit and a titbum?(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 20:10,
archived)
You'd know if you'd ever had a bumtit infestation (
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 23:43,
archived)
I made a pinhole projector!Obligatory
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Wed 12 Aug 2026, 21:39,
archived)
Yes it was ruined by feminism and woke.(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 23:42,
archived)
Hi willy-marmoset's, Queef here Anyone up for some crude jokes, physical comedy, or childish puns?
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 13:37,
archived)
Yeah, probably (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 13:40,
archived)
nice one m8, I knew you wouldn't let me downor yourself down - but most importantly, your fellow boarders
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 13:45,
archived)
I don't have anything else going on, so sure, bring it on.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 13:44,
archived)
I'm shit out of Boon puns nowHopefully we can rally round and rustle up a few stragglers
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 13:46,
archived)
If I said you had a boontiful body would you hold it against me?(
broadsword, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 15:03,
archived)
I sure wouldn't mind gettin' some more of that Arcturian Boontang!(, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 15:36, archived)
The Boonatics have taken over the Asylum (
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 18:10,
archived)
Just connected it up after well over 10 years and my Wii still works.Gonna play Metroid Prime 3 later.
(, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 13:53, archived)
oh i get it, because of her song, total astronomical occultation of the major organ(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 14:43,
archived)
They call it the dark side of the moon,but when the eclipse happens it'll be facing the sun so it'll be all lit up, and the side that faces us will be dark, what's the deal with that?
(, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 14:52, archived)
Boon boon shake the roon.(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 11:32,
archived)
You stretched for the starsAnd you know how it feels
To reach too high
Too far, too soon
You saw the whole of the Boon
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 13:25,
archived)
and so the ritual continues(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 0:05,
archived)
If you can't handle global timezones that's not my issue (
mongychops, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 7:08,
archived)
Timezones are a conspiracy by Big ClockObligatory -l
(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 7:18,
archived)
I'm off to Sri Lanka in a couple of weeks, that's GMT +5 1/2hrs. That's just madness (
mongychops, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 7:48,
archived)
There are some 45 minute off set timezonesYou might as well just aplly local solar time for each village and thorp
(
Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 8:41,
archived)
yeah, I'm sure I had to change 15 minutes when I went from India to Nepal.That's just being awkward for the sake of it.
(, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 9:09, archived)
I've always wanted to see thisen.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sigiriya
Looks incredible
(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 10:37,
archived)
It is an inselberg, a hardened granite outcrop deriving from a solidified magma plug of a former volcano.(, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 10:43, archived)
I hate it when people chew loudly and with their mouths openSends me into rage
do you have any pet peeves?
(, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 15:58, archived)
As an old fart, in the early 2000s, my son laughed at me...when I thought Dragon Ball Z was pronounced 'dragonballs,'
I still get very angry about it and have trouble sleeping because of it
(
PedroHin Update your profile or Logout, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 17:21,
archived)
That's nothing, when windows came out in like 1990I had no idea what people were talking about
I said, "what's windows? Can you look out of them?"
My boyfriend at the time was rolling on the floor laughing
He was an IT person
(, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 18:31, archived)
*follows this up with a punchy, low-brow quip*(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 20:33,
archived)
*follows through with a gutsy, arse-brown fart*(
MiseryCunt find me on eggs, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 20:50,
archived)
I wish we could post voice recordings on hereI did a champion fart the other day loud and long
I knew it was coming, so I was ready and recorded it on my phone
Gross
Far too childish for 57
(, Wed 12 Aug 2026, 7:36, archived)
I wasn’t done with morning yet.(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 13:11,
archived)
AI Mode conversation: roughly how many one-word threads are on b3ta.com/talk saying morning or afternoon?There are roughly 5,000 to 7,000 one-word threads on the b3ta.com talk board that consist entirely of the word "morning" or "afternoon".The overwhelming majority of these are "morning" threads. This is due to a decades-long tradition on the site where users start a brand new talk thread first thing in the morning containing nothing but a greeting.
Why the Number is So High
Daily Ritual: B3tans have been posting a daily standalone morning thread since the site was founded in 2001.The "Morning Loop": Over 25 years, thousands of individual page IDs have been generated just to say "morning" or "Afternoon."
Afternoon Variations: "Afternoon" threads do exist but are much rarer. They usually only appear if someone forgot to make a morning thread, or as a deliberate joke when the board is unusually quiet past midday.
(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 11 Aug 2026, 15:13,
archived)
no mention of eveninh. Poor SSG, confined to obscurity by AI(
Cheers Cheers, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 15:31,
archived)
-lj +r
..................................................
: ...... :
: .:||||||||:. :
: / \ :
: ( o o ) :
:-------@@@@----------: :----------@@@@---------:
: `--' :
: :
: :
: B O L L O C K S :
:................................................:
(
Cheers Cheers, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 16:00,
archived)
Mr Tea (often formatted as Mr. Tea) is a legendary and highly active veteran user on the British pop-culture and digital art community website, B3ta.com.He has been a staple of the platform for over two decades, known primarily for his dry, surreal British humour, wordplay, and constant engagement on the site's message boards.
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 16:07,
archived)
"True to B3ta's surreal and irreverent house style, "Cheers" frequently posts brief, absurd one-liners, crude puns, internet culture meta-commentary, and rapid-fire replies."
lol called out for shitposting slop by AI
(
Cheers Cheers, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 16:12,
archived)
b3ta user mofaha"I rather liked the apparent combination of “this is extremely stupid” and “yes, but let's take it seriously for the next six posts.” That's a very particular kind of internet personality, and it seems to have served you well."
(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 16:31,
archived)
mofaha’s online personality is best described as that of a gently eccentric, highly prolific, and deeply collaborative internet uncle. Having spent over 23 years on the platform, his personality is woven directly into the social fabric of the boards.
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 16:46,
archived)
come over here and sit on internet uncle's knee(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 16:51,
archived)
Good contender for the creepiest possible two-word phrase.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Tue 11 Aug 2026, 20:29,
archived)
shush, we're gonna play the bouncing game (
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 22:13,
archived)
True to his name, his comedic palette is rooted firmly in schoolboy humor. He frequently steers conversational threads toward crude jokes, physical comedy, or childish puns. If a board member posts an introspective or slightly gross anecdote, Queef is usually the first to follow it up with a punchy, low-brow quip.
(
mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 16:55,
archived)
Queef is usually the first to follow it up, the paunchy, mono-brow quim.(
mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 17:11,
archived)
How many shit flounce threads have we had?That’s the real question.
(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 17:13,
archived)
Did you know that if your hand is bigger than your face it means you’ve got fat hands?(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 7:45,
archived)
Morning Quite cool here for now
(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 8:26,
archived)
SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE THE ROON(
Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 10:00,
archived)
Zoon, just one look and then my heart went BoonSuddenly and we were on the moon
(, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 11:38, archived)
<s>, just one look and then my heart went Boon</s>+ 's balanitis is a benign, chronic inflammation affecting the head of the penus and foreskin. It presents as a shiny, smooth, orange-red patch. It mainly occurs in uncircumcised middle-aged or older men.
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 11:51,
archived)
Don't worry, it's typically painless(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 11:59,
archived)
Or in the words of REM,
SHINY ORANGE PENUS PATCHES
(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 11:58,
archived)
The Sidwinder Seeps Tonight(
garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 19:29,
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I’m in Madrid. It’s gonna break through 39 degrees laterVery spicy.
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garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 10:57,
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Casa Dani in the Mercato de la Paz does what is supposed to be the best tortilla in MadridIt's very nice but I wasn't blown away by it. Ham aside, Spanish food doesn't really excite me very much tbh so perhaps that was a 'me problem'.
Restaurante Botin is the oldest continually running restaurant in the world, it's a beautiful, historic place but the food is absolute gash.
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 11:06,
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(, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 11:59, archived)
Fuck that I'd melt
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 11:24,
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GEOSTORM(
Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 11:00,
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HI GUY'S!!Might be off til Friday now with luck.
When were you last lucky, you lucky duck?
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 Aug 2026, 15:35,
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Oh dear, none of you has ever been luckyUnlucky
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 10 Aug 2026, 16:37,
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I've certainly "got lucky" if you know what I mean?I've had sexual intercourse.
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Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 10 Aug 2026, 16:48,
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Don't be ridiculous Nobody on /chat has ever done such a thing
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mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 10 Aug 2026, 17:00,
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Sometime back in the 80sor it may have been in my imagination
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Cheers Cheers, Mon 10 Aug 2026, 16:59,
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I thought I was lucky today Because the mental hadn't called me. Turns out her phone is broken and I have to sort out a new one.
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 10 Aug 2026, 20:45,
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What would happen if you just... didn't? (
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 10 Aug 2026, 21:34,
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That's all very well, but there may be negative consequences, too.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 10 Aug 2026, 22:32,
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Human sacrifice; dogs and cats living together; mass hysteria.(
.Yeti., Mon 10 Aug 2026, 22:59,
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Calm down, Gozer (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 10 Aug 2026, 23:53,
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She would just call round She lives in the next street
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 10 Aug 2026, 23:53,
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Why do YOU have to sort out HER phone? Is she not capable of doing it herself?
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No She has dementia.
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 9:47,
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It's a shame Michael Elphick was taken from us so young,he could have released a string of covers albums with puns on "Boon" in the title. Blue Boon, Boonesome Tonight, Boon! Shake the Room!
(, Mon 10 Aug 2026, 12:50, archived)
Vaz Blackwood confided in me that apparently he liked a bit too much drink (
mongychops, Mon 10 Aug 2026, 13:23,
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I’d also be interested in his opinion on the toilet habits of Ursidae(
Cheers Cheers, Mon 10 Aug 2026, 14:27,
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In a West End wood, a poo lies curled
The East End bears and West End girls
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disappointed this isn’t on the populol page if I’m honest (
Cheers Cheers, Mon 10 Aug 2026, 17:03,
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Not my finest work, I should have tried harder to shoehorn THE POPE in there too(, Tue 11 Aug 2026, 9:36, archived)
Nick Grimshaw does a "cloudbusting" mix every weekday morning on 6 Music.He's like a glitching bot. "Let's get into it", "full hour of uplifting music", "no saddies" etc.
This morning he played Luka by Suzanne Vega, a song about child abuse.
(, Mon 10 Aug 2026, 8:23, archived)
yeah, one of my former friends gives off a similar vibe and I think that's his defence too.He's just misunderstood, all the creepy sex-pestery of much younger women is simply because of the aura he gives off.
(, Mon 10 Aug 2026, 9:41, archived)
heard it a couple of times now, I don't mind it but it's failing to grow on me.(, Mon 10 Aug 2026, 8:46, archived)
Josh Homme has always sung like a girl, but that track just goes too far.(, Mon 10 Aug 2026, 8:52, archived)
Kyuss are so much betterhe should've just kept on doing that instead of becoming rich and famous.
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Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Mon 10 Aug 2026, 11:06,
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I much prefer Robert Johnson's early stuff, before he sold his soul to the devil(, Mon 10 Aug 2026, 11:09, archived)
Is that Robert "Robert Johnson" Johnson, by any chance?(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 10 Aug 2026, 11:49,
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Oh, Kyuss were greatThere's a youtube clip of Nick Oliveri-era QOTSA where they play Thumb with John Garcia.
(, Mon 10 Aug 2026, 11:36, archived)
In a Dutch video documentary by Top 2000 à gogo in December 2018, Vega spoke about the meaning of the song:
I wanted to write about child abuse… I had to think of how to write about a subject that no-one talks about.[7]
In 2021, she revealed that the song dealt with the emotional and physical abuse she had suffered from her stepfather, Edgardo Vega Yunqué, also known as Ed Vega, who was a novelist and professor from Puerto Rico.
"There was abuse in my family... I am actually Luka."[8]
In 2023, she similarly told German radio Station Bayern 2 the song is about her own experience with physical abuse:
I chose Luka as a name and as a character because I didn't want people to know that it was me.[9]
(, Mon 10 Aug 2026, 9:07, archived)
He should follow it up with Coil's cover of Tainted Love,the track with the video that shows a young man dying from Aids.
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Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 10 Aug 2026, 12:25,
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(, Mon 10 Aug 2026, 12:36, archived)
G'dayI dreamt about b3ta /talk
I was working for a company that gave me a report - a list of all /talk users
First thing I did was look to see how many "bou" accounts there were - 106
Then I was back in my first job - in the bank as a bank teller - but all the computer systems were different and i had no idea what I was doing
(, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 15:17, archived)
IDK Queef, the bit about not knowing what she was doing rings true enough.(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 9 Aug 2026, 17:56,
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the computer had weird buttons and a printer part that I had to put money in to be printedI really did have a job as a bank teller after leaving school
1988
(, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 18:05, archived)
Nice, I had chicken, chilli and lemon grass. Probably go bed now. (
mongychops, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 15:53,
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No idea why, but I initially read that as "make love to some kebabs" and did a double-take(, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 17:27, archived)
<s> take </s> wank(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 20:40,
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Doner up the wrong 'un (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 22:17,
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Hello This kid has got me worn out
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 16:58,
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My great niece (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 19:38,
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Fuck that She's my great niece. I took her to the park, it's our weekend thing. She wants me to either chase her, carry her or pretend to be asleep against the slide while she slides past me. Then she wanted a drink and sweets. Spent £30 and she didn't touch most of it.
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 19:41,
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Can I recommend a can of pop and some Haribo next time, as opposed to champagne and Guylian seashells?(
Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sun 9 Aug 2026, 19:44,
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She wanted K-pop demon hunters toys (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 20:29,
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Fruitshoot and Haribo costs considerably fewer than £30.You wouldn't be bullshitting by any chance, would you?
(, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 20:21, archived)
No She wanted K-pop demon hunters toys as well as sweets. I'm a soft touch for the kids in the family.
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 20:28,
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The amount of times I've had to listen to that song is ridiculous (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 10 Aug 2026, 9:18,
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She doesn't sound that great(
2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 20:41,
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She is But she's an only child, the first great grandchild, and takes after my late sister, meaning she's cheeky but cute enough to get away with it.
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 9 Aug 2026, 21:41,
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