muslims
i was listening to this band called the muslims today. so have some muslims. i was gonna add some baubles or turn them into chess pieces. something to make it better. but now i wanna go to bed. and some kid burnt my neck..
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 4:04,
archived)
i was listening to this band called the muslims today. so have some muslims. i was gonna add some baubles or turn them into chess pieces. something to make it better. but now i wanna go to bed. and some kid burnt my neck..
Grand Theft Auto Killing
The area this happened in is called Bang Phlad. I would not even venture in there with the Thai Army behind me...
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 5:10,
archived)
I am hell bent on shagging this lass.
Click for bigger (70KB)
'nother One
'nother Two
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:23,
archived)
Click for bigger (70KB)
'nother One
'nother Two
was this the lady of the mecca box?
EDIT: yes.. yes it is. nother 2 gave the game away.. if it was indeed a game.
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:25,
archived)
Yes, correct.
Hidden camcorder. Check!
Bottle Of Ultra Strong GHB'd Australian White. Check!
Chains, Whips, Handcuffs and Dildo. Check!
She's as good as mine.
Muahahahah
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:29,
archived)
Bottle Of Ultra Strong GHB'd Australian White. Check!
Chains, Whips, Handcuffs and Dildo. Check!
She's as good as mine.
Muahahahah
aaah rape
one question though.. why would you pring a dildo to a date rape session.. or is that for personal use?
also the handcuffs seem a bit redundant.. but then again I suppose it would make it easier to keep her in position.
well good luck to you sir.
gaz me for alibi if necessary.
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Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:44,
archived)
also the handcuffs seem a bit redundant.. but then again I suppose it would make it easier to keep her in position.
well good luck to you sir.
gaz me for alibi if necessary.
You have it all wrong,
im a submissive, theyre all for my consumption.
:D
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:49,
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:D
I like the idea of her drinking the wine while you chain yourself to a radiator
only to realise as she passes out the error in your plan.
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:50,
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HAHAH
that would be a disasterous end to a night full of promise. hehehe, quality.
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:51,
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Me neither
but fuck! I'd go last and still eat her out!
Thats a bit sick that actually, but b3ta forgives this kind of thing in the wee small hours
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:31,
archived)
Thats a bit sick that actually, but b3ta forgives this kind of thing in the wee small hours
b3ta might
but i'm sure she'd have a thing or two to say about it :P
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:32,
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Arf!
Im gonna do my best to keep as much distance as possible between her and b3ta.
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:34,
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so for your usage
gagging people to stop them throwing up is ok?
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:39,
archived)
No
its the sound you make when you desperately try to stop yourself throwing up
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:41,
archived)
flipping a car multiple times counts as a near death, i'll wager
at least an almost accident
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:29,
archived)
Further down the same article
"He was lucid, conscious," Mr McFerrin said. "He was talking, joking with some of the rescue workers at one point."
When one person tried to take a photo with a mobile phone, Mr Freeman joked, "no freebies, no freebies," Mr McFerrin said.
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:32,
archived)
When one person tried to take a photo with a mobile phone, Mr Freeman joked, "no freebies, no freebies," Mr McFerrin said.
ah ha!
I think you'll find his car BEGAN to flip several times according to the news!
I reckon it maybe lifted one wheel slightly off the road a few times, which, technically would be the beginning of a flip, but a lot less dangerous- I reckon Mr Freeman is getting the spokesman to make him sound cool!
Or maybe not...
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Tue 5 Aug 2008, 7:56,
archived)
I reckon it maybe lifted one wheel slightly off the road a few times, which, technically would be the beginning of a flip, but a lot less dangerous- I reckon Mr Freeman is getting the spokesman to make him sound cool!
Or maybe not...
*:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD*
ahha, also, this is fucking hysterical
uk.youtube.com/watch?v=FkQiuKtjffY&watch_response
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:18,
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uk.youtube.com/watch?v=FkQiuKtjffY&watch_response
ehhe
that was made in response to mine, he dun goode
AAAAAAAANd goiodniught
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:31,
archived)
AAAAAAAANd goiodniught
You be the kingfeesh of utoob finds !
Upside yo head . . . rage outless !
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:23,
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haha poor morgan
mind if i rant for a sec
every time one of those "sally traffics" or such like come on the radio, wittering on about the A1 or M5 being closed due to an overturned car, like it's such an inconvenience, they never make it clear that the plice are having to scrape body parts off the road so that you can enjoy congestion free journeys again :(
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:22,
archived)
every time one of those "sally traffics" or such like come on the radio, wittering on about the A1 or M5 being closed due to an overturned car, like it's such an inconvenience, they never make it clear that the plice are having to scrape body parts off the road so that you can enjoy congestion free journeys again :(
"have you got 10p dad?"
btw
i find it quite refreshing that you reply to every post after your pic :)
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 2:51,
archived)
i find it quite refreshing that you reply to every post after your pic :)
thankee kindly :)
always nice to know my silliness is appreciated
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 2:56,
archived)
HEY, PAULA
MAYBE YOU CAN JUST TRY SHITTING YOURSELF AND CRYING AGAIN.
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1041601/Paula-If-I-dont-win-I-got-bitten-spider.html
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 2:54,
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www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1041601/Paula-If-I-dont-win-I-got-bitten-spider.html
Hahaha.
I'm writing a vaguely serious albeit ridiculous article about the discordance in free expression between faithed and secular people, citing examples of religious free expression which are exempt from dress codes as opposed to the none secular examples.
You have no idea how tempting it is to draw a picture of a woman walking into work wearing a Muhammed bomb as one of the illustrations. Damn you b3ta!
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 2:56,
archived)
I'm writing a vaguely serious albeit ridiculous article about the discordance in free expression between faithed and secular people, citing examples of religious free expression which are exempt from dress codes as opposed to the none secular examples.
You have no idea how tempting it is to draw a picture of a woman walking into work wearing a Muhammed bomb as one of the illustrations. Damn you b3ta!
Arts sake I suppose.
Given that my own power of self publication is at best limited.
I honestly can't think of anything to draw for the two illustrations now, they're usually something silly but this was unnaturally serious which makes things difficult.
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Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:01,
archived)
I honestly can't think of anything to draw for the two illustrations now, they're usually something silly but this was unnaturally serious which makes things difficult.
are you after using your own stuff?
if not, the one that got printed in that magazine that started all the ruckus might work
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Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:05,
archived)
Well the illustration I did for the last article was a adult cowboy riding one of those electric kids rides you get outside supermarkets.
Except the little pay bit said LIFE, and he was riding a coffin.
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:10,
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for a moment there i read that as 'electric kids'
honestly, i don't know, but i'd be keen to read when it's finished
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:15,
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I've not let anyone from b3ta onto the stuff due to writing under a pseudonym.
It's not something I really want to associate with, not because it's necessarily offensive but because it's that sort of satire you want to base purely on the fictional characters you write which are writing it.
Also I just thought about a girl's ample chest with a cross dangling across the cleavage, but with an actual struggling dying Jesus bleeding into her cleavage. But I think that's a bit strong, plus it would mean having a massive cross on the page which isn't great either.
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:21,
archived)
Also I just thought about a girl's ample chest with a cross dangling across the cleavage, but with an actual struggling dying Jesus bleeding into her cleavage. But I think that's a bit strong, plus it would mean having a massive cross on the page which isn't great either.
draw a man nailing his cock to a table
thas how i free up my expression any way.
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:06,
archived)
Is that one of those vague statements which only really makes tertially level innuendo sense?
Because if it is...*shakes fist*
That's a signifier that I'd punch you...not wank you off.
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Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:08,
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That's a signifier that I'd punch you...not wank you off.
I just remember it as an extreme example of freedom of expression
while i was studying philosophy. positing the question how far does freedom of expression go.
I felt people should be allowed to nail their cock to things in the street if they so wished as the punishment is kinda implicit in the action.
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:25,
archived)
I felt people should be allowed to nail their cock to things in the street if they so wished as the punishment is kinda implicit in the action.
Easy, my legs aren't far off that.
Fucking typical, once I finish the sodding thing, draw the drawings, scan them in, the fucking uploaded goes to shit in a bag. Oh well, I'm going to sleep.
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 3:45,
archived)
...now son...don't eat too many treats before destroying planets...
( , Tue 5 Aug 2008, 2:57, archived)
( , Tue 5 Aug 2008, 2:57, archived)
windy innit? no thirsty
that must have blown away those deleted threads!
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 2:50,
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So why haven't you crossed it off?
Because it was something Truly Majestic!
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 1:52,
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The Bucket
it's kinda like when my one wish was that I would never need one wish
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 2:04,
archived)
i like this wish :)
edit: i now wish that i didn't stay up and drink all of her indoors vodka, that won't bode well for me in tomorrow
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 2:09,
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Thanks . . . goes well with quite a few tunes . . .
ED: Oh . . . i get cha 11111 . . . funny I never look . . . turns my name purple . . .
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 2:39,
archived)
I can't tell you
how annoyed I am that someone else has found these tools ;)
But bloody well done sir!
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 1:31,
archived)
But bloody well done sir!
awesome lurkage
282px wide, good compression, I see no reason for this not to be fp'd ;D
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:49,
archived)
is that a smile
or a grimace?
edit: i mean even without the poo, y'know in real (public) life?
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:55,
archived)
edit: i mean even without the poo, y'know in real (public) life?
hmmm
well she's the queen, if she wants to wear a shit-hat she can!
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 1:01,
archived)
ainsley just reminds me of..was it kittyvomits fp
'prick with fork'?
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 1:13,
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Topical News Quiz
What's Morgan thinking as his reckless protégé tests out the new wheels?
can b3ta reach into his mind?
edit: best cock-related entry wins an evening at Mr Freeman's bed-side.
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:45,
archived)
can b3ta reach into his mind?
edit: best cock-related entry wins an evening at Mr Freeman's bed-side.
that's the look of shame
he's just followed through. There's an unexpected item in the bagging area.
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:47,
archived)
"Miss Daisy
Ism Gawn' Kill Me When She Find Out I Be Car Jacked!"
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:48,
archived)
'hmm this situation reminds me of clansouls brandow dogging pic'
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:53,
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what's with
the trees in the background?
was this taken from a scene that was cut, or was it just a doctored promo image?
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 1:06,
archived)
was this taken from a scene that was cut, or was it just a doctored promo image?
the latter
to give it that rural mayhem feel.
this quote from the news, "the vehicle was airborne when seen leaving the highway", has led me to see parallels with the Dukes of Hazzard. A mid-air collision over the county lines would be a beautiful sight.
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 1:12,
archived)
this quote from the news, "the vehicle was airborne when seen leaving the highway", has led me to see parallels with the Dukes of Hazzard. A mid-air collision over the county lines would be a beautiful sight.
I heard you give blow jobs for people who fan you.
Bad ones at that.
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:42,
archived)
i have always wanted to do an art exhibtion that was just
my various failed attempts at making origami cranes/creatures. i am so ham fisted i would never be able to make one. i think it would have a tragic beauty
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:38,
archived)
Yep, someone on here did it for his girlfriend.
I think it may have been Sheehan.
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 1:01,
archived)
I take it you've seen the origami of the ridiculously good origami man?
Can't remember where i found him.. possibly could of been the b3ta newsletter but I'm not sure...
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:44,
archived)
they (who are they? the wizards?) need to create an 'i love this' link
something that gave 1 point for 'i like this' and say 2 points for 'i love this'
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:38,
archived)
this seems fair
it would cheapen it otherwise. could have a system similar to lovefilm, with 1-5 stars allowing half stars
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:46,
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i signed up for that on a 3 month free trial
and cancelled before the 3 month date. now they send me new "6 months free trial. we love you connor. please connor. i'll be your best friend if you join" every week. quite sweet.
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:49,
archived)
i've been with them for probs 3 years now
i go through phases where I watch loads n loads and really get my moneys worth, then only watch around 2-3 dvds a month, which isn't really worth it. Though I'm on an unlimited, 2 discs at a time which I pay up 6 months in advance which works out less that a tenner a month. Even better now I realise they do blu-ray
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 1:09,
archived)
yeah
and when youve used all 5 up you have to drop something youve 'loved' to add it. Great idea! Make people carefully consider before their clicks.
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:47,
archived)
your doodles never fail make me smile
you're a hero of the pen/stylus/mouse
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:37,
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thanks, you could centre it on a white background
no point upsizing pixelly stuff
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:44,
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THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID
When I placed the voice activated tape recorder inside of her latex mouth. Even my blow up girlfriend insults me.
I'm so alone.
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:46,
archived)
I'm so alone.
be the first to find the same joke on b3ta...
...and win a meal for two*
*plastic bibs provided at no extra charge.
edit: also, shame on anyone who gets this.
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:18,
archived)
...and win a meal for two*
*plastic bibs provided at no extra charge.
edit: also, shame on anyone who gets this.
you have made me smile :o)
though also, slightly disturbed in a good way
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:22,
archived)
excellent
then I shall depart all the gladder.
but this is what sparked the whole thing off
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:28,
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but this is what sparked the whole thing off
probs no different to all the western people with chinese tatoos that are just gibberish
my missus is supposed to have her name on her neck, though it probs says cunt
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:40,
archived)
there's plenty more where that came from.
Some of it extremely NSFW (this was actually a harmless sculpture though)
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:25,
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Too true.
In don't buy any of this 'celebration of the human form' crap. It's all for kicks.
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:33,
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The most obvious joke of the day. Done for about the 8th time I suspect
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:05,
archived)
haha ace! Minor TJ:
My new song is all done! And I'm rather proud of it.
www.b3ta.com/links/Indigo_The_new_song_by_Tom_Milsom
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:06,
archived)
www.b3ta.com/links/Indigo_The_new_song_by_Tom_Milsom
I was very confused for a moment
"where's that music coming from!"
etc
edit: as a reward, have a picture of a ballerina
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:08,
archived)
etc
edit: as a reward, have a picture of a ballerina
that's a happy tune for the image below
how long has b3ta been able to embed mp3s?
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:11,
archived)
i like the way your voice changes to say magenta
congratulations :)
( ,
Tue 5 Aug 2008, 0:20,
archived)
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