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# what the f.....
Human: your a machine what do you want an in depth conversation about hummus
G. Bot: I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am an artificial brain.

explanation.... what the f....
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:38, archived)
# haha
she is the apostrophe police woo!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:39, archived)
# ooo i'm scared
Human: spit or swallow
G. Bot: I will mention that to my botmaster,.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:40, archived)
# Heh heh
Human: Tell me a story
G. Bot: Generic story: Situation...characters...crisis...resolution.

Human: That was shit
G. Bot: I thought it was too.

edit: Arrrrgggghhhh!
Human: Sing me a song
G. Bot: Daisy, Daisy. Give me your answer do. I am half crazy. All for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage. I can't afford a carriage. But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat. Of a bicycle built for two.

(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:45, archived)
# she can't pronounce
yay. does a mighty fine houpla though
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:55, archived)
# typing in rude questions
for eliza was so funny in 1991.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:45, archived)
# well,
she's right, you did mean "you're"...
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:40, archived)
# so
it doesn't explain the rest of the comment...
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:41, archived)
# you can't punctuate
therefore it's treating you like a retarded child?

It can't understand you probably - hell, I can't understand exactly what you were trying to ask it!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:45, archived)
# part of the secret anal apostrope police
if you ask me, big brother watching your use of grammar
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:42, archived)
# I made my own bot there called Munt:
Human: sit on my face and tell me that you love me!
Munt: I am sitting now.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:42, archived)
# Has anyone tried
asking it what's in its gossip files? It spills a hell of a lot of beans!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:47, archived)
# erm... what have people been saying to this thing?
Human: what is in your gossip files?
G. Bot: Christie said he watched a show and people had to bob for raw untreated pigs feet.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:52, archived)
# Shirley, you mean
Human: You're a machine do you want an in depth conversation about hummus?
G. Bot: I think you meant to post a 'shopped image there. Are you an artificial brain?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:43, archived)
# Human: why aren't you male
G. Bot: Being male is not part of my programming.


Human: but why be a female
G. Bot: Umm. Reductionism


?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:45, archived)
# Sorry for wastage...
saw this and thought of you all (especially after the Hats Of The Future challenge. You lots are truly inspiring!

www.ananova.com/entertainment/story/sm_742991.html
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:35, archived)
# jack your fred
I thought that robort girl was a bit dim until I asked this incisive question..

Human: do you like curry?
G. Bot: What is not to like about it?

She is obviously a being of superior intelligence :)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:36, archived)
# nice
one :)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:38, archived)
# Jack your jack
we've been sold - for £1.

clicky

Come on redundancy....
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:39, archived)
# crikey
do you all get to share the pound out as a windfall, or does the boss trouser the lot?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:41, archived)
# this price is well
below the quoted £50m....
no shit sherlock :)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:41, archived)
# i was
just about to post the very same comment :)

talk about understating the facts ...

(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:47, archived)
# oh no!
Poor Mr Thirdman!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:52, archived)
# Not too worried yet
I'm on 3 months notice & my agency reckons theres quite a few CRM jobs out there - including one for L'Oreal...

the new boss has all the girls drooling as well

quote from when he walked into the meeting:

Me - "First impressions?"
Gina - "I'd shag him."
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:05, archived)
# Hmmm.
Human: Do you come here often?
G. Bot: Yes I am always online. What's your sign?
Human: Golf Sale.
G. Bot: Is that a sign?
Human: ... of boredom, yes.
G. Bot: That is something I haven't heard of.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:46, archived)
# very
good
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:49, archived)
#
Human: should the US go to war with Iraq?
G. Bot: Maybe you should ask someone older.

Human: No, you decide
G. Bot: Are you serious? I would just make a random choice.

Human: So would George Bush
G. Bot: Yikes! Yes.

Human: OK then, Its war
G. Bot: Fascinating. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You're kidding. it is? Give me a break.





(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:54, archived)
# hehe that was mentioned
earlier today :)
rubbish potatochopping tho
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:36, archived)
# he he!
Human: why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?
G. Bot: To communicate with each other.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:40, archived)
# Crystaline
avian
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:41, archived)
# Not another bloody kiddy fiddler pic
Nice wrist action, there
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:33, archived)
# oh dear god.....
woo to you
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:34, archived)
# Excellent tag
:)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:36, archived)
# classy
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:38, archived)
# good one
woo
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:41, archived)
# Boredom had set in on the sands of Tatooine
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:30, archived)
# tommy boyd! oh my god!
i thought he was dead!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:31, archived)
# death to boyde
you obviously didnt do a thorough enough job, i guess the contract still stands.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:42, archived)
# Those are not the boyds you're looking for.
of course.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:32, archived)
# Tommy Boyd!
lol
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:32, archived)
# did I just lol?
oh dear
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:32, archived)
# I'm lolling.
My boss isn't here so I can sit however I want.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:34, archived)
# i'm lolling so much
i'm in danger of falling off my chair
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:37, archived)
# your boss
makes you sit in a way you don't want????

PS I used to have the Tommy Boyd joke book...
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:43, archived)
[challenge entry] result of the gulf war

bush 1 earth 0
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:27, archived)
# hahhah
nice one
(, Sat 25 Jan 2003, 14:56, archived)
# They're a Chinese tribute act
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:26, archived)
# Oh god.
This has serious bandwagon potential...

10 DO woo UNTIL yay; GOSUB houpla.
20 GOTO 10
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:27, archived)
# that reminds me
i was gonna make 'darth side of the moon'
but then didnt bother
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:29, archived)
# ... as does their best-known album
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:29, archived)
# i well thought that was Harold Shipman
easymistakadamaka
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:29, archived)
# Can I just say
I love my mother that.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:29, archived)
# is that
the "Dark side of your mum" album?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:30, archived)
# hahaha
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:30, archived)
# Puppetry of the penis?


Really needs to be seen a bit larger to do it justice.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:25, archived)
# That is sick....
What he's doing with his right hand, I mean.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:30, archived)
# After all those years
The animals attempts to get their own back with
experiments didn't quite hit the mark
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:23, archived)
# haha
nice hat action
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:39, archived)
# "sorry squeek...theres no cheese left"
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:22, archived)
# hahaah
love that one
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:23, archived)
# excellent
good work that Kitten.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:29, archived)
# i love it!
and the caption exacerbates my love for it.

(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:29, archived)
# he he
rockin'
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:30, archived)
# woo yay
excellent
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:32, archived)
# Wed Thraste
What is a Sony Air Board I have done google but all I get is russian and jap pages???
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:20, archived)
# Threadjack
Where's the linkie to G.Bot ?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:21, archived)
# Oi Get oooof of my thread
in my worst farmer accent
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:22, archived)
# ***another one*****
John McCririck is opening a new bookies in Manchester next Month
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:28, archived)
# here it is
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:26, archived)
# Threadjack
I'm hungry already and I can't buy lunch 'till 1pm.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:27, archived)
# you mean
you don't keep a stash of emergency chocolate????
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:29, archived)
#


I et it all. :(
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:32, archived)
# That'll lern yer.
Get a bigger stash.

As my wifey says, "You don't muck about with pounds and ounces of chocolate. Think BIG, FFS"
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:35, archived)
# Threadjack
I'm hungry. Can buy lunch whenever I want.

See you in a bit then.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:29, archived)
# *koff*
popbitch
*koff*


I was just doing research, before you ask.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:23, archived)
# Ay
and what?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:25, archived)
# Flying Monitor
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:24, archived)
# As I don't read Jap
what is that just a wireless screen basically
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:26, archived)
# as it clearly states in the FAQ
‚¨‹q—l‚ªƒAƒNƒZƒX‚µ‚悤‚Æ‚µ‚½ƒy?[ƒW‚ªŒ©‚‚©‚è‚Ü‚¹‚ñ‚Å‚µ‚½?B ƒuƒ‰ƒEƒU‚Ì?Ä“Ç?ž‚Ý‚ð?s‚È‚Á‚Ä‚à‚±‚̃y?[ƒW‚ª•\Ž¦‚³‚ê‚é?ê?‡‚Í?A‚¨Žè?”‚Å‚·‚ªŽŸ‚Ì‚¢‚¸‚ê‚©‚Ì•û–@‚Å‚¨‹?‚߂̃y?[ƒW‚ð‚¨’T‚µ‰º‚³‚¢?B
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:27, archived)
# I speak a little japanese...
I think that means basically that it's a new PC that uses the power of ghosts to connect to the motherboard, which exists in hyperspace and is the size of jupiter.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:32, archived)
# Just before
it sets you up the bomb.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:36, archived)
# Hasty reworking
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:19, archived)
# Oh that
is class.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:21, archived)
# mwaahaahhaaaha
grrrreat ;)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:21, archived)
# Touche
Lovely!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:21, archived)
# .
i think he'd declare war on stuborn stains
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:22, archived)
[challenge entry] repost but

as he was the only one of his kind and well.. he died last night.. does that count?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:18, archived)
# pssst
edit the old post to enter it in the challenge.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:19, archived)
# yeah but unless he thread jacks with a linky
no-one will see it!

I for one don't mind reposting for compos. How does everyone else feel?

I usually bow to your indefatigable sageness Dr PK, but I will contest you on this one.

(and lose I suspect).

=)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:21, archived)
# *snore*
...whu? Sorry?

I was only telling him in case he didn't know.

My official position, if I may state it, is this: I don't give a fuck.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:30, archived)
# fine, be like that.



=)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 13:46, archived)
# Just getting this
one out of the way while the 'politically correct record sleeves' competition idea is still in my head!

(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:17, archived)
# How did
Rory McGrath get in there?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:19, archived)
# oh yeah!
he must have been around for longer than we realised!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:21, archived)
[challenge entry] r.i.p


we can only hope.....
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:16, archived)
# Twat
Thursty for a drink, I pick up the first bottle, and start gushing down the drink. Thinking "This is a bit strong" I look at the bottle and realise i've just drunk 1/5th of a bottle of Robinsons Fruit'n'Barley (peach).

I feel sooo sick right now
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:16, archived)
# yum !!!
I used to love drinking concentrate when I was a kid, woo !
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:17, archived)
# UnWatered down?
Agh'
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:19, archived)
# of course
it was the best (until Mum caught ya!)

then again, my Dad used to drink vinegar - hmmm....
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:20, archived)
# I used
to drink vinegar too.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:21, archived)
# your
not my Dad are you ? wowser!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:25, archived)
# Who's ya daddy??
... uh.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:26, archived)
# Go on
puke everywhere - stick yer fingers down your throat and do a beautiful rainbow yawn!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:18, archived)
# Fred jacque
dont cross when they're flashing

(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:19, archived)
# silly chicken
this is a board for photoshopped pics! :]
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:20, archived)
# A very old man...
once gave me a drink of lemon barley water concentrate. It was a very hot day. I was very thirsty. I couldn't talk for an hour afterwards.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:20, archived)
# It really is nasty
init.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:21, archived)
# Very.
I was working as a tour guide at the time, so being unable to speak was a bit of a problem. Mouth was all puckered up like a dog's bottom.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:24, archived)
# nasty
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:37, archived)
# QUICK!
Drink 4/5 of a bottle of water
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:44, archived)
[challenge entry] The Madagascan Mouthless Shark


did not survive for long in the wild.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:15, archived)
# excellent
good start to the compo!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:16, archived)
# DISCUSSION TOPIC #157


Films whose scripts you can recite more of than is healthy for normal balanced individuals:

1. Spïnal Täp
2. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
3. Quadrophenia
4. Italian Job
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:14, archived)
# I'll see your four and raise you ...
5. Princess Bride
6. Withnail & I
7. RHPS (spit)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:16, archived)
# 8. Back to the future
9. Breakfast Club
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:16, archived)
# 10. Flash Gordon
11. Plup Fiction
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:19, archived)
# 12. Life of Brian
13. Monty Python and the Holy Grail
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:23, archived)
# .
14. Snatch
15. LS&2SB

"Do you boys know what Nemesis means?"
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:25, archived)
# A
righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this instance by an 'orrible cunt... me!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:39, archived)
# 16. Weird Science
.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:27, archived)
# good
call.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:29, archived)
# "Anyone with a hair cut like that has got to be an asshole"
"Garry was just taking a shit!"
*edit*
17. Predator (dillon you son of a bitch...or....I ain't got time to bleed)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:31, archived)
# I waas
crazy insane for this 8th graded bitch
Crazy?
Insane?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:34, archived)
# she kicked me in the nuts!
the family jewels?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:38, archived)
# Indeed
Might I also add:
1. Star Wars A new Hope
2. Empire Strikes Back
3. Return of the Jedi
4. The Usual Suspects

oh my god, realisation of sadness
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:33, archived)
# *cough*
geek
*cough*
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:37, archived)
# 12. the mighty ducks
13. uncle buck
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:25, archived)
# WOO YAY
mighty ducks and emilio estevez
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:33, archived)
# anything
with Jay and Silent Bob
Tremors
Bond films

No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:38, archived)
# Star Wars
Aliens
Blues Brothers
Casablanca
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:16, archived)
# I can do
nearly all of "Disney's Robin Hood".

Ooh de-lally!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:16, archived)
# a crown
how exciting!

mummy *suck suck suck*
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:32, archived)
# RRRRRRRrrrhinos!
Halt!
Desist!
ARGH!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:33, archived)
# Hallo Mr Robinhood
it's my birfday!

wait fo' me!

/excessively cute bunnies
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:35, archived)
# Now now, mind your manners.
...ess, mide your maddles.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:41, archived)
# do do do da do do do do
dd da do do do do do

Humming the tune when they are walking along
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:42, archived)
# Withnail & I
Star Wars (any of them)
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:17, archived)
# Blade
1) Blade*
2) Fight Club

You - better wake up! The world you're living in is just a sugar coated topping. There's another world. Beneath it. The real world. And if you wanna survive in it, you better learn - to pull - the trigger!!!!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:18, archived)
# Rocky Horror Picture Show
Yellow Submarine
Die Hard
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:19, archived)
# Airplane
The Untouchables

If he pulls a knife, you pull a gun. If he sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue.
That's the Chicago way, that's how you get Capone."
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:22, archived)
# Watched Airplane a thousand times
I don't remember that line ...
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:24, archived)
# ain't no thang...
striker took that plane like a mutha....shiiiiit!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:32, archived)
# Shurely must also add
1) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
2) The Life of Brian
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:24, archived)
# Robocop ???
and Jerry McGuire
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:26, archived)
# Driving
Miss Daisy.
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:31, archived)
# Silent Movie, by Mel Brooks
Thats the only one I can confidently say I can quote every line
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:43, archived)
# Metropolis
and Battle Ship Potemkin
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:56, archived)
# Geoff loved escaping the city
and heading out on the open road

(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:13, archived)
# born to ride
and say "ook" a lot.

Woo!
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:16, archived)
# I took this on a school trip to Sellafield....
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:12, archived)
# ha ha ha ha ha
rediculous
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:13, archived)
# I grew up
next to a nuclear power plant, we always had fishing competitions. "Who catches the fish with the most eyes?"
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:16, archived)
# Weeeee
Say What You See!

(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:08, archived)
# egg stinkt ??
i hope not
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:10, archived)
# nope
but a nice guess
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:11, archived)
# Insanity
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:10, archived)
# Is it a bee-hatch?
Human: what is a monkey?
G. Bot: A monkey is any of the various medium sized long tailed members of the order primates. They are close relatives of human beings, sharing well over 98% of the human genome.

Damn...
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:11, archived)
# Yay
you're right Its my 'bee-hatch'
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:13, archived)
# Sweet! Blatant repost...
Unfortunately the file name gives it away...
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:15, archived)
# doh!
I should have guessed it's a "0SwByAG0XS5CUPUfGB5rjbb7tYR2c4iXIa6gAoIsEDMi*3uzNhn!fKpbMle5X2gjb1QwtA68Qc5OyN!37YSo8rwpaNm4aCj4MKINpGW1jKENHImRmKn7LJQ"

gets me every time!

I know, I'm just being a silly chicken
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:19, archived)
# born again stinkteon ?
oops
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:12, archived)
# Egg Bee-ter?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:12, archived)
# ooo
thats cool
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:12, archived)
# pollenating bee hatch?
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:14, archived)
# thats it!
its my Bee-Hatch
(, Fri 24 Jan 2003, 12:15, archived)

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