It's Friday afternoon.
I'm on a skive.
Get involved!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 15:05, 80 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The reply counter is broken I think.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 14:37, 51 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

From the newsletter.
blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2010/02/16/the-case-for-an-older-woman/

I kept telling everyone this but no-one believed me.
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:49, 92 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Cunnilingus
In a certain area of Sarf Lunnon it is known as ‘Plating’ – as in licking a plate clean.
A venerable term from the days when people were hungry enough to do such a thing, and used plates rather than cardboard cartons.
And in your vernacular ...
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:35, 32 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Feck it.
I have 8 people training next week, reams of paperwork to prepare for them and both fucking printers have died. When I say died what I mean is they will print one page before chewing everything up.

I have 40 documents from 20-50 pages to print and some of it has to be couriered to the North East.Today.

Anyone else been let down by alleged technology today?
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:11, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just dropped some of my digestive biscuit in my cup of tea.
It's put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day now.

There should be a programme called 'when biscuits go bad' for this sort of thing.

What really pisses you off about certain biscuits?
( girlinthehole, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 13:00, 74 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Without styling and product my hair looks like Darth Vaders 'elmet.
Can you top that?
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Fri 19 Feb 2010, 11:14, 115 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Breaking News!
Beckyjsbx still has a job, this is excellent news for her, though clearly less so for whichever poor sod got laid off, but we don't know them so we don't care.

Can I get a WHOOP WHOOP!
(Bazongaloid, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 10:32, 42 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This made me feel a bit sick
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/7267338/David-Walliams-and-James-Corden-kiss-at-Haiti-fund-raiser.html

What revolting things have you seen today?
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 10:17, 22 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ok you lovely techy folks, I be wanting your assistance.
I would like to know how I can get a freesat box to plug into my iMac (the computer, not the hair remover).
Many thanks in advance.

Alternatively, is corned beef and pickle the best sandwich filling ever?
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 9:51, 40 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Download Festival
After the trials and tribulations of the past few weeks (read getting fucked about by the NHS, and standing in a senior registrars office telling him that his department, and all its little pixies, are pure unadulterated crap, and that they should pull their socks up, and stop speaking at people, and talk to people), I have finally been informed I'm off to Download this year.

Any other B3ta types going? Suppose I should put it up on the calendar really, piss up saturday afternoon mebbe?
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 8:31, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's Friday!
All this getting into work early has already altered my sleeping patterns. Last night I was drunk on the best part of a bottle of wine and in bed by 10.40pm.
So today I woke up hideously early and did some chores and that.
Troubles is, I'm not even on the 'deli counter' today, and could have had a sleep in!

Tonight my mate's coming to stay and we're phoning a takeaway. Nom.

What you doing this Friday?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 19 Feb 2010, 8:01, 104 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Nicholcock Wintercunt MP
- joins Fred Goodwin on the "folks what should drink bleach" list.
(joe is troubled Got all married and teh stuffs, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 20:55, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Stay in a job I hate in a dull as ditchwater backwater or return to Dublin for a 5k pay cut
What would YOU do?

rafter
baz
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 19:53, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have the answer to all your prayers citizens of OT and various interlopers
For tomorrow I may be made redundant. Imagine the super happy funtimes we can have...oooh it'll be just like last year all over again!
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 18:24, 29 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Shut up, it's my birthday, listen to meeeeeeeeeeeemememememememe
I'd like to know about your perfect birthday cake.

Mine would be huge, I don't really care about the outside cause I want Alexander Skarsgård and Katherine Moennig to jump out of it and sing happy birthday to me, while they're naked, and give me lots of hugs and kisses.

Tell me about yours. Youyouyouyouyou.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 15:17, 83 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Sup
It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you, without a dope beat to step to.

Edit for question: Aaliyah's dead, what musician do you want to die?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 14:16, 94 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Fucking hell
You miserable gang of cunts!
I go away for five minutes and you've all gone emo!
OT's fine, I asked its mum this morning.
Don't fear the new people. I was one of those once and you gave me an easy enough ride. Let's just see how it goes eh?

Have you missed me?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 13:22, 133 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have just eaten far too much for my lunch
In fact I feel a little sick. Silly me, tasty though it was.

What silly/stupid things have you done so far today?
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:59, 39 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Paging the Facepuncher General
Facepuncher General to the purple courtesy phone.

This didn't happen to me but to a colleague, so I just had to roll my eyes and sympathise, but they were livid. They called the service desk to report that they were unable to access the Incident Management System. Service Desk creates an incident in the Incident Managing System with a next action of "user to update incident record with more details".
She only found out when she phoned an hour later to find out what progress. It took several tries before the service desk grasped the problem.

Who have you encountered lately who needs an application of the Clue-By-Four violently to the nads?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:46, 23 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm bored of Darth Foxtrot
Which led me to think what else really bores me and I have come up with my ultimate yawnmaker

People talking about their children
(closely followed by anything Vipros says)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 12:38, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm bored of my last post already
I think I must be drunk. Monkeys
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:41, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I drank beer before work this morning
Chastise me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 11:21, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Offtopic is dying.
I was here at the start and I will be here till the bitter end.

How do you think we should celebrate it's short but productive life?
( girlinthehole, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 10:37, 99 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Women with two vaginas?
ladies with an extra fanny

So what are the pros and cons of an additional auxilliary input?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 18 Feb 2010, 10:14, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning Guys!
It's 6.40, I've been up a couple of hours and fancy a giggle. Anybody else up and working at such an ungodly hour?
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 18 Feb 2010, 6:40, 45 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

oh man, i'm so tempted to take the morning off college tomorrow and stay up all nigjt watching BBC2
Why? Because CURLING'S on!
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 23:49, 16 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

ok, guys, I need some moral support
or piss taking, whichever

I have the phone number of a guy and I'm to chicken to call it. Also, to chicken to start an online conversation.

Otherwise: what have you done that scared you?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 18:39, 43 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I just saw this linked on another forum, and thought of b3ta
it's probably been on links for several millennia, but tough.

www.randonneurs.bc.ca/Resources/misc/why-bike-shorts-should-be-black.jpg
( ascorbate, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 17:57, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm happy now
Because my the guy who wrecked my car on Monday has admitted liability to my insurance company, and they are sending me a hire car (which is set to actually be nicer than my former car) at 4pm tomorrow, for free, to keep until all the details of the claim are processed.
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Wed 17 Feb 2010, 17:50, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)