I am reminded why I don't use banks
I'm working on a project with a friend of mine - the server is held at his house for the moment while we develop.

He's just had his Internet cut off.

He phoned his ISP to find out why, and apparently they changed 'their billing' on the 10th March, and apparently he hasn't paid his bill...only, he has, by Direct Debit - to whom, no-one seems to know, but in the meantime we can do no work until it's resolved and he has an internet connection once again.

Ok, this time it may not have been the banks fault, but if he'd paid a year in advance in cash like I do, then we'd still be working.
(dchurch bah, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 11:29, 106 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

My next laptop project.
My last old laptop was turned in to this touchscreen surface but what to do with this one? Anyone got any ideas better than "Turn it in to a digital photo frame" I have a 7" lcd tv that will connect up to it with no problems so was thinking of integrating that in to the project somewhere. So any ideas?
( Peej, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 10:52, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The Internets is really fucking boring today.
I've been on AT LEAST five sites and they were all shit.

Tell me about the last time you massively judged someone. For me, it was getting irate at the Big Issue seller last night who asked "Big Issue? Or could you give me some money? Or food?" and I got annoyed for the other Big Issue sellers who don't beg. Also, I judge the Big Issue as it's a shite magazine.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:58, 122 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Help?
I'm trying to find a book price for a Land Rover Defender 90 TDi SWB K Reg 74000 Mileage. Most sites I've tried have been particularly unhelpful as the car is so old. Any ideas? It's for sale by sealed tender and I'm thinking of getting it for the boy for when he starts college.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 30 Mar 2010, 9:36, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Why has nobody gazzed me today?
I DEMAND TO KNOW WHY!
( girlinthehole, Tue 30 Mar 2010, 8:42, 131 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Opposites
I had a health screening at work today - I'm pretty healthy it turns out. Only the relative recentness of my joining the gym and giving up smoking brought some of the scores down. I do have the resting heart rate of a buddhist monk on prozac, though.

Then I get home and get a call from the vets - my cat has Chronic Renal Failure. I've got to pick up some tablets tomorrow and the internet assures me they can live well for a number of years.

But the contrast is rather striking, isn't it? How's your health?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 20:30, 28 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Mobiles !
What's you current ringer?
How about a background image?

Faster Kill by Paul Oakenfold/Brittany Murphy [wiv da angles] for the ringer and Katie Price on my background [I know, I know! but she's got a smokin' bod]
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 18:32, 67 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So while I'm laid up
I've started on a project that I can do while siting down.

Long ago when I was young and rode a mastodon to school every morning, I used to visit an old fellow who lived in a massive Victorian house. (I lived in the middle of nowhere with no kids my age around, so I got to know a lot of the old retired types pretty well.) One of the things he had in there was an ancient autoharp, which fascinated me to no end. He let me play with it once in a while, but it was drastically out of tune and had been sitting there for years- I have no idea where he got it from or why he had it, but there it sat on a shelf.

After he died his estate was tied up in legal limbo for many years. When the dust settled the women who inherited his house decided to restore it to its original glory, and has been doing so beautifully. When I learned of this I dropped by one day and introduced myself, and told her of my visits to the old guy, and she took my on a tour of the house. It was almost exactly as I remembered it, only she had had the decay and broken things repaired. I was ecstatic to see the wonderful job she had done with it, and told her how happy it made me to see the care she had taken with it.

And then I spotted a pile of stuff off to one side, odds and ends that she was trying to decide what to do with. Right in the middle of it was the autoharp. I asked her if she would be willing to sell it, and she hesitated because she wanted to check with her relatives first. I agreed to stop by in a couple of days. Long story short, I bought it from her for $50 (which I'm told was far too generous for this particular instrument). It may seem silly, but it's a tangible part of my childhood.

It had been neglected and abused over the years. At one point some idiot had tried to put the back on it again with finishing nails, and one of the little screws that held on the bars was replaces with a large wood screw. But I know a guy who repairs instruments, and after a bit of discussion he agreed to repair it.

Much as I love the guy, he's frustrating at times- he had it for years and never really finished the job. He managed to get the back off of it, steamed it flat, glued it back together and attached it and refinished the back. He was going to change all of the felt pads, but never quite got that far. So now the bars don't quite work, but the main part of the instrument is restored.

My task is now to finish fixing the bars. He removed the felt pads from one of them, so I need to completely replace those, but he left the rest intact. I have to replace a few bits of those, but nothing major. I've replaced the tiny steel screws that held it together with new brass ones that won't rust so if I need to repair it later I can get it apart easily.

After that I need to get a tuning wrench for it and figure out how to play it. As it's one of the earliest ones made, the keys involve little slides to get different effects and chords from it rather than being like the 21 bar type you get today. It's not exactly straightforward.

Here's a good picture of an identical one: www.fretlesszithers.com/autoharp.html Go down to the 4 bar type, which is No. 3. Mine is the one shown on the far right, a No. 3 Type 2, circa 1890.

This should keep me busy for a while.
( Wanderer, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 17:39, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I found a broken XPS M1530 Laptop in a recycling skip
And thought I'd see if there were any spares in it. I checked the service tag and found it was still under warranty, I sent it back 10 days ago and today it arrived all fixed. An almost new gaming spec laptop for absolutely nothing. Power supply was still attached and they collected and delivered. They replaced the motherboard, touch pad and top cover. Its totally mint now. Woo fetch me a croissant!

So anyone else had any fantastic blags/strokes of luck lately?
( Peej, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 16:01, 74 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

cuntweasel
Clendrix can I please go to Cornwall now because I'm having a shit day with people complaining about their stupid boxes.

Hell, I'd even prefer to be in Dunstable right now.

Can we talk about breasts for a while please to cheer me up?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 14:56, 111 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Despondent
I'm sitting in the pub in a miserable market town on the outskirts of Manchester, looking out of the window at the relentless drizzle, wishing the bad weather would fuck off so I can get some leaflets out and jobs booked for this week.

What are you doing at the moment? How's your Monday going?
(hangableautobulb is an anagram of the best album ever, on, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 13:31, 95 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I have decided that I would give up all my old vinyl records and my Moorcroft plaque for a night of passion with Jeff Bridges.
What would you give up and for whom?
( girlinthehole, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 13:09, 52 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

So anybody got any good plans for Easter?
I'm going to be working all over it, it has been organised by my higher-ups so that they still get the majority of their Easter break whilst I and my colleagues effectively only get Friday off.


Yay.
( Kroney, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 11:16, 93 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

New thread.
so Moscow bombings eh? Possibly the work of Chechen rebels. 2 attacks, at least 30 dead about 70 injured.
Now have a look at this video news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/8592600.stm
Terrorism will never work in Russia, a bomb just went off, and they all look slightly bored.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 10:49, 36 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm going to Cornwall this weekend
and will probably have to meet Vipros at some point.

What is the best way to deal with smug bastards?

Alternatively as the QOTW has resorted to just asking titles of TV shows, what TV show would you like to be in?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 10:17, 55 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Morning All!
Bit of a mental weekend, with a shit load of drinking.

Also, for the first time ever, I managed to turn down the advances of my (hideously drunk) ex. Granted, I don't remember doing it, but it's still something to be proud of anyway!

What have you been proud of recently?

EDIT: Where the fuck is everyone?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 29 Mar 2010, 8:49, 76 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Well, last night was fun. Or, WANKING GRANNIES!
On a rare night out, we went to see a local band that we try and see on a regular basis (although it's about ten months since we last saw them). The venue was a new one for them, a small pub in the country, but only a twenty minute drive from us. This band does mostly pop/rock covers (but a good mix - stuff from Erasure to Buzzcocks to Black Sabbath), but with a twist - on a lot of their set list, the lead guitar gets put to one side in favour of a cello. Believe me, Sabbath's 'Paranoid' done with a cello works - it shouldn't, but it does.

(For a couple of samples of stuff done on the cello, here's Eleanor Rigby and Paint it Black: www.gladstonemusic.com/music.htm)

So, the crowd is appreciative of the band, for most of them it's the first time they've seen them, and they went down a storm. Unfortunately, this was a country pub and the locals were, shall we say, a bit 'colourful'.

The missus was talking to Arty, the cellist, after the gig and he was somewhat perturbed by the fact that, right at the front, was a woman (a mightily pissed woman) with her boyfriend. Nothing unusual in that, you might think. Except, he was almost put off his cello playing by the fact that when he looked up briefly he saw her "having a good old dig at herself". Apparently it nearly put him off his stroke... We later gleaned that this woman was thirty five years old, and a grandmother.

Click "I like this" if the thought of thirty five year old grandmothers having a wank in public appeals to you.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sun 28 Mar 2010, 19:25, 40 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

HOLIDAYS!
in a bid to cheer myself up for working on a lovely sunny sunday, i am thinking about holidays. spending easter in a very swish-looking spa with a friend (champagne in the outdoor hot-tub FTW, it had better not rain), and just booking 2 weeks driving around california in june/july with some girlfriends (although i am a bit pussy about driving on the wrong side of the road).

so at the risk of sounding like a bored teenage apprentice hairdresser, anyone booked any holidays yet this year? where are you going?? or where would you go if you were given an open ticket to anywhere in the world?

edit - my ideal holiday would be a trip to japan followed by hawaii. dream trip would be a huge convertible car and 6 months to drive it across the states.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 28 Mar 2010, 16:52, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

The Cathedrals are off with their clanging
But it's a lovely sunny day and I'm lucky to live where I do. No, that's not a typo, racists.
I have total total lurgy. Uuuuuh-huuuur, my nose is on fie-yah!

Should I jump up and shake it off, or should I wallow a little more, and really get down to my Junior Disprol addiction?
How is your health?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Sun 28 Mar 2010, 10:08, 41 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What a fun start to the weekend!
I had some friends over last night and we had an epic dinner of seared ahi with wasabi and ginger. Then we spent 3 hours doing ABBA Singstar muc to the amusement of the college students across the way - they ended up coming over and joining in the fun.
Woke up this morning to see Hull Shitty actually won a football game, and found out my friend is on course for winning the Trout Masters Championships today.
To top it off, it's a beautiful day with a high of 80 degrees F expected, and we're off on a major pissup tonight.

How's your weekend going?

Edit: He came 2nd
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Sat 27 Mar 2010, 17:32, 6 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Anyone else stayed up for 3rd practice?
I've hd a nice evening of Pizza and Martinis with friends and couldn't see the point in going to bed when qualifying is in 2 hours so I'm watching them fail to post any proper lap times so far.
(bill, Sat 27 Mar 2010, 3:14, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A post on facebook reminded me
www.hammerhouseofhorrortvseries.co.uk/hh2faces.html

I saw this as a kid and I was proper terrified. Thanks for letting me stay up, Grandad!

What shouldn't you have seen as a child?

(no points for mentioning my mum)
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 27 Mar 2010, 0:14, 10 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Since the majority of us are autisms, how about supporting this?
One of our own b3tans is running the London marathon to raise dosh for the National Autistic Society.

It's worth watching the video for the amazing shoe placement alone!


www.b3ta.com/links/449909
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 16:59, 42 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Woo!
It's Friday, and Payday. My two favourite days!

My original plan for tonight was to have a quiet night in, few cans at most, that sort of thing.

Now I'm going straight from work to the pub, will see how that works out! Then I'm out for Spikeypickle's birthday tomorrow night, going to be good!

How about you lot, what are you up to this weekend?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 16:41, 83 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh ffs
was what I uttered aloud when I read this headline on CNN: "Want healthy kids? Learn how to cook." No shit? You mean that cooking things myself might eliminate some of the preservatives and other crap that processed foods are loaded down with?

Great. Next headline should be: "Want to lose weight? Eat less and exercise more."

Apparently the standards for journalism are slipping just a tad. I'd guess that the people who find that concept to be an eye opener are the sort who'd sneeze themselves to death if it weren't for cold remedy adverts.

What headlines have you found to be shocking in the obviousness of the subject matter?
( Wanderer, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:50, 9 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

This is actually real!
www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/faith/article7065824.ece

You'd think the editor, when dishing out assignments would say "Oh, here's yours.....oh, hold on, give that one back to me" wouldn't you?
(dchurch bah, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 15:32, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Adverts.
I saw an advert the other day. It said, basically, "Some bacteria can live in LAVA! Fucking LAVA! Can your kitchen cleaning spray kill bacteria that live in LAVA? Then you need to buy OUR kitchen cleaning spray!" followed by the same "kills 99.9% of bacteria" claim that every kitchen cleaning spray since 1950 has made, and suspiciously no mention of specific lava-dwelling varieties.

Bacteria than live in lava aren't going to be able to live in me. Or, indeed, my kitchen. There isn't any lava in my kitchen anyway. If there was, I strongly suspect that the presence of bacteria in this lava wouldn't be my main concern. And even if there WAS lava in my kitchen, AND I was worried about bacteria that might be living in it, Marigolds don't come in asbestos so there's fuck all I could do about it anyway, cleaning spray or no cleaning spray.

Which adverts have wound you up recently?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 14:10, 127 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've thought up about 5 different subject lines that'll work for this, but I'm going to leave it in it's simplicity.
www.simavita.com/pages/simsystem/how_it_works/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:22, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Awwwwww!
www.dailymail.co.uk/travel/article-1258312/Giraffe-gives-birth-calf-Kenyas-Masai-Mara.html

Baby giraffes are incredibly cute.
( Wanderer, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:47, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

To counter all the diabetes inducing threads.
What's the worst way* someone has dumped you?

* In the respect that it was horrific for you at the time, but in retrospect, you can aprechate a complete BURN! like that.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 12:29, 134 replies, latest was 16 years ago)