squatters!
i am just dealing with removing some unwanted squatters from a client's property, and wondered what you lot thought about this.

the client is a charity, and part of the way it raises money for cancer patients and cancer research is via ownership of a property portfolio. one property in birmingham is currently vacant, as it is being sold. the proceeds are needed to fund an ongoing research project.

as of yesterday, a group of 8 individuals have seen fit to prise off the boards and shutters (it costs a lot to put them up in the first place) and move in. they have already trashed the place, terrified the neighbours - also my client's tenants, who are now threatening to leave - and have been very abusive and physically threatening to the client's agent. they have put a notice in the window stating "this is our home, we live here, it is a criminal offence to throw us out, blah blah". needless to say, they have not offered to pay so much as a single penny to occupy the property; they think they are entitled to free accommodation. and they are right, it is a criminal offence to throw them out without a court order, and if they string it along, it will take about 3-4 weeks to get that and to get high court bailiffs/police to remove them once the order has been obtained.

all this is looking at costing a charity approximately £10,000 in fees (we do it at a 50% reduction because it is a charity) and many many thousands to make up the damage and in potentially lost rent if other tenants do exercise their break options and quit as a result of feeling unsafe in the area or insist on rent-free periods to make up for having to live and work next door to these people for a while. there is zero chance of recovering anything from the illegal occupiers who have incurred them .

so what do we think? total and utter scummers who are raping someone else's property because they can't get their own lives together enough to pay for accommodation and treat it with a bit of pride and respect like normal adults, and a ridiculous legal system that supports their ability to do this? or do we think the real crime is that there can be homeless people and empty properties side by side, and owners of vacant properties should be morally obliged to assist the homeless by providing them with a roof over their heads, however temporary?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:39, 206 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Where did everybody go? It's Friday afternoon and I'm trying to procrastinate !

Tell me about your pets, I want a French Bulldog that I will call Claude I also want a cat called Chairman Mao.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 14:09, 76 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

anyone want some knitted items?
just in time for summer? Someone close to me is selling stuff on etsy. Or, more accurately, not selling stuff on etsy. She keeps putting out heartfelt pleas for us to buy from her. I'm getting one of the items for sale as a wedding present, so have no desire to buy any others, but if anyobody wants a thick felted cushion/scarf/blanket or the like, see her site here www.etsy.com/shop/victorialogan

alt question: are you even remotely interested in football and this world cup thingy? if so, could you explain to me why it's so important and worth getting frenetically excited about and taking time off work for?
( ascorbate, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 13:47, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just been listening to something very odd....
The electrician who is in to fix the god-awful wiring in my house just started humming to something that sounds like Poker Face by the equally god-awful Lady Gaga.

The plumber who has (as far as I can tell) never met the electrician before joined in with the humming and the occasional "pe-pe-pe-pe-pok-er face". The whole song ended with the electrician on drums (a bucket and plank of wood) and the plumber enthusiastically singing into a screwdriver.

What weird things have you listened to lately???
(one-winged-angel-616 isn't as depressed as she sounds, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 13:16, 8 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Today is Friday...
...so I'm taking chickenlady for a long overdue trip to the opera tonight.

What have the rest of you got planned?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 11 Jun 2010, 12:06, 137 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

On my way to work this morning
My iPod played Pendulum's "The Island" followed by Tori Amos' "Little Earthquakes", two of my very favourite songs, back-to-back. I have decided that this means it will be a very good weekend and that Ms Foxtrot and I will kick all manner of sequin-clad arse in our competition tomorrow.

What ridiculous occurences have you taken to be good omens today?

Alt Q - would you rather fuck a merman/maid (delete according to fishy sexual preference) with the top half of a fish and working sexual organs below the waist, or the traditional arrangement?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 11:11, 96 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

How Right or Left Handed Are You?
We tend to define our "handedness" by which hand we write with, but that's often not the full story. It seems many people who would class themselves as left handed do a number of activities with their right hands. I suspect the reverse is less common in right haded people. Where do you fit on the scale?
Personally my handedness breaks down as follows
Writing - left
Cricket - Bowl left, bat right (My brother does the opposite but does absolutley nothing else left handed)*
Throwing - overarm right, underarm left
Darts - Ambidextrous, totally shite either away
Guitar - right
Pool/Snooker - left
Wanking - left
Boxing - southpaw

* I didn't ask him about the wanking.
(Cave Duck, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:05, 116 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Weekend thread
So what are you delicious mongs up to this weekend?
I'm going to my BFF's tomorrow to watch the football and I'm hanging out on the South bank on Sunday. In between, I shall be eating delectable food and sleeping a lot.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:17, 117 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Since Monty is away
Why Glee is actually good

What's your favourite song featured in a tv show?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 22:55, 15 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Alright QOTW
You're all secretly desperate to show and tell.

Post sexy photographs of yourselves for us all to pander over. Quickly now.
( WormuIus, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 18:47, 55 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Forrin!
Just about to sit down and watch Pedro Almodovar's latest, Broken Embraces and last night I watched A Prophet which was brilliant.

Anyone got any other decent foreign films they would recommend? My Lovefilm list is running a bit dry at the moment!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 18:42, 55 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Soundtracks!
Oh man I was totally rocking out in my car a bit ago, it's put me in a super happy mood.
I'm a pop slut.
Songs included:
Fergalicious, "I said never again (but here we are)" and "So Good" by Rachel Stevens, Womanizer, "Buttons" by the Pussycat Dolls and so many more that I can't remember

What songs make you happy?
Alt q: What songs make you cry?
Mine are "Possibility" by Lykke Li, "If You're Reading This" by Tim McGraw and "Feels Like Home" Chantal Kreviazuk
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 16:35, 84 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yippee
just booked my tickets to see The Levellers at Stockwood Park on 4 September. I am a happy lady!

Sorry - as you were.......
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 15:47, 13 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Ay!
I have 2 mandarins left for the rest of the working day, and I'm starving.

I need your help to take my mind out of food.

Following a previous conversation: where would you go/to whom would you talk if you had a TARDIS?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 10 Jun 2010, 14:36, 163 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Laughter is Brilliant
I just saw this exchange on a friend's facebook...

Friend One:Do you think David Cameron PM stands for David Cameron Pokemon Master?

Friend Two: I like to pretend it does.
Massive decifit is blocking your path.
Will you use cut?
Go! George!
George used cut.

It made me laugh a little too much. What's made you giggle, chortle or snicker recently?

ALT Q: What's your favourite word? Or favourite noun, verb, adjective etc.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 12:45, 137 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Today I bought some flashing birthday badges for Beekers and me to wear at the bash.
Just so everyone knows we're special.

*excites*

What's special about you?
( girlinthehole, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 12:45, 54 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm having such a fucker of a day so far.
It started with a small child clambering over my head at 5 am, and refusing to go back to sleep until 5 minutes before the alarm went off (6.30 am). I then dropped aforementioned sprog whilst dressing him, so he's got yet another bruise to go with the myriad purple patches on his face from where he keeps crawling into door frames and bookcases.

He had a long scream when I dropped him off at the childminders, prompting massive feelings of guilt to seep through my soul, but I managed to drive up the mototrway to work, got into the car park, and went to take my glasses off - the glasses that I HAVE to wear to drive - only to find I wasn't wearing them. Thank god the motorway was quiet.

Then I walked down the hill towards my office and thought 'hmm, my nipples feel cold. and wet. oh buggering hell'. Yes, not only had I forgotten to put any breast pads on this morning, I'd also managed to forget to put my bra on. I am not small-norked. And I am leaking milk like a dairy cow who the farmer has forgotten about for a week. I'm sitting here with copious quantities of paper napkins wedged into my top, and my coat still on so my colleagues don't notice the massive wet stains on my top.

What should I have for lunch that can possibly make the day better? And what stupid fucking things have you done after severe sleep deprivation?
( ascorbate, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 11:11, 68 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Protocol? Etiquette?
Whatever. I've started a B3ta oldies club (see profile). If you want to join you are more than welcome.

Edit: AltQ What has made you feel old recently?

Me? Finding my reading glasses exactly where I left them. On top of my head.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 10 Jun 2010, 11:00, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've just been reading a blog on a guy who ditched his job, bought a boat and sailed off to the Bahamas
If you did that, where would you go and what would you take with you? Besides the obvious necessary sailing equipment, I mean like personal effects.

Alt Q: what trait/ability from the animal kingdom would you like to have? I'd like to be able to see in the dark, like a cat. Yeah I wrote bat by accident, shut up.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 10:16, 234 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Alright Off Topic?
Now, I know we've had our differences in the past, you don't like me, and I certainly don't like you, but today I've decided to try and help you.

Today is Thursday, that means there will be a new QOTW, but take a look at your popular page. Go ahead, look now.
That's right, Off Topic, there are FIVE posts on there that have been around for as long as the last Question. Now, I hate to admit it, but you're intelligent people (some more so than others), and you're on b3ta, so all of you must have a sense of humour in there somewhere.
I'm not accusing you of being unfunny again, I'm urging you to click 'I like this' on each other's posts, even if you only like it a little, or it only makes you laugh for a second, just click anyway. It's not a competition, it's not QOTW, here you can click each other's posts without turning each other into smug bastards.

I won't be around much today, but I'll be back later, and I want all of you to have clicked at least ten posts each.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 8:41, 110 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

OMG, who is terribly excited about the LAST EVER SERIES OF BIG BROTHER?
As usual I'll watch the first night and then my interest in it will wane as soon as the last lolwackimental walks in.

Alt Q: What was your school uniform like and did you look teh SEX in it? Mine was an open neck shirt, box pleat skirt - the sexiest of off of the pleats - opaque tights and sensible shoes. In sixth form we had to wear black and white, so I would either wear a mini skirt or floor length skirt, men's shirt and toe caps.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 20:59, 66 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'm very disappointed in OT, you're giving Amorous Badger far too much attention.
baldmonkey and myself deserve some credit for breaking the ice.
We were talk's first ambassador's here.

Who is you favourite troll on b3ta?
( WormuIus, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 20:22, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I hate BT. They've merged my broadband and phoneline together so now feel that they can take an extra £15 a month INCASE I use my phone a bit more.
I'd requested they not be merged so that this sort of fuck up didn't occur and was assured that they would not be sent together, now I've been charged silly money which means that my insurance payment didn't come out because it's put me over my overdraft limit and I have to wait 5 days for the money to come back to me.

What's made you angry enough to post about it online ONLINE recently?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 17:39, 75 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good friends
A few of my friends in Manchester are proper bastards. I've been inviting them to several things and are always busy, and I haven't seen them since my birthday party (I know that a couple of them celebrated their bds and didn't invite me)

So, since January, I know no more about them, and don't worry about their lifes.

However, since they found out I'm getting married, they keep calling and they want to meet me to celebrate with an only girls party (as my real friends don't stand them, I fear it's going to be only them and I).

I don't understand this sudden love, and I don't know what to tell them. I'm supposed to meet them tonight, but I forgot and made other plans.

Can you, wise people, explain what's going on?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 9 Jun 2010, 16:24, 66 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I've upset someone over on the main QOTW board again. How would you, the /off-topicer foil the fiendish machinations of me, QOTW's favourite internet villain?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 15:30, 40 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I live in the Shenandoah Valley, the name comes from a Native American expression meaning "Beautiful Daughter of the Stars"
fact me up, bitches
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 15:09, 71 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Confession time folks.
This month I have accidentally killed two birds, (although not with one stone), and last night I unknowingly ate some pancetta.

What do you have to confess to?
( girlinthehole, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:25, 53 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You are a complete arse.
Discuss.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 13:17, 107 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Totally Offtopicing here for random chatter, talk what you want, no subject.
But thanks to my easierly lead brain, tomorow I'll be concimating my new Kenwood FP196 SMOOTHY MAKER !

Oh man, gimmi ideas for the best smoothys please.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 12:25, 56 replies, latest was 16 years ago)