I know this isn't links but I did manage to get footage of Monty's parenting skillz....
Boyce Family

If you really need a quesion; cricket - what's that all about?

Oops - sorry Abs. I didn't see you there.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 25 Nov 2010, 9:30, 35 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Feeling cheap
I'd been looking for a new watch for a while, as my old one broke. I just wanted something for every day, small, confy and in a nice colour. Something easy to wear that I don't mind banging around.

So, after a lot of looking for something, I finally saw some watches in Madrid that looked good. I went into the shop, asked to see them and decided to buy a red one. Then I asked how much it was... 2.50€

I was too embarrassed to say anything, and just bought it. I'm wearing it now, and it's good. Gives the time and I like the colour. However, everytime I check the time, I can't stop feeling cheap. So cheap it's almost dirty.

When was the last time you felt cheap?

Alt Q: Why do they have to break for such a long period the series of Doctor Who? I miss him!
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 25 Nov 2010, 9:29, 98 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

What ho, interpals.
What delights or tribulations await you on this chilly winter's day? For me, it's another drone-fest in the arse-clenching tedium that is my 'career' followed by an evening huddled in my cockney hovel, rocking back and forth and weeping, cradling the mangled, half-eaten body of my latest victim.

Because I have no television connected, I missed 'Fry & Laurie reunited' last night. That fucked me off a great deal.

Who was your favourite band/singer when you were 15? Are you proud or embarrassed by this or simply don't care a fig?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 25 Nov 2010, 8:26, 152 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Anyone around?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 23:27, 24 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Found in the Newsletter for Jeff.
NSFW

www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/dildos-and-doggies

Not as rude as you may think it is.
( girlinthehole, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 20:47, 106 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

The snow can fuck off.
What's annoying you right now?
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 17:24, 31 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Yeah alright fuck you
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I have a day off so woo to me.
What the fuck are you thankful for?
I'm thankful for my family.

Alt: What are you not thankful for?
I am not thankful for credit checks and cunts that mooch off the system for food stamps to buy things like steak and ribs.
You're on welfare bitch, buy hot dogs and hamburger helper.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 14:31, 286 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Is it addiction?
After a quick calc, I think I'm spending something like 300€/year in the lottery. It's not weird for me, as in Spain we all play the lottery a lot, but Mark thinks I'm a bit of an addict. In the last 2 months I've won 1€ in total.

To which things people think you're addicted, but for you it's just everyday behaviour?

Alt Q (for Monty): To which things you're not addicted, but people think it's just everyday behaviour?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 13:26, 232 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

As comforting as it is seeing my name at the top of the page, the threads are dead.
Bit cold innit. I love it though, especially when it's sunny and much more so now my heating's fixed. We do love to complain about the weather, but all this 'oooh snow' is a bit premature when chances are 80% of us won't see any significant coverage. Have a thread to bitch about stuff.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 12:25, 215 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

noel
help, is noel around or can anyone gaz me with his phone number?? i have a courier outside his office trying to deliver a package and they can't find him!

thanks all...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:41, 44 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

It's cold, it might snow.
Where should I go on holiday next year? Late-April time for 2 1/2 weeks...

Alt Q: What colour underwear do you like the most?
( The Teviot Moose major 5th., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 11:24, 81 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

OMG SNOW
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-11827592
(PsychoChomp, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 10:28, 134 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Back for BGB, and because the thread below is very quiet: I forgot my lunch at home today.
I bought lasagna at the station and forgot to pick a fork. It's going to be a looooong day.

In other news, I imagine you know this thing that the Pope said that in some cases, and to prevent the spread of HIV, people should be responsible and use condoms. I have some very catholic friends who are really upset, not at what the Pope said, because he's infallible, you know, but at the way the press has interpreted what he said. I read the article with the whole paragraphs of what the Pope said, not out of context, as they claim the press has done, and after reading it all... yes, clearly, the Pope has said it's just responsible to use condoms and stop the spread of the illness.

I find it funny because these people are so upset that a condom might not be such a bad idea. I don't understand why they're so unhappy with it. Clearly, from their point of view, sex without the prospect of having a kid is wrong, so ok, don't do it. But if other people are going to do it, let's them be safe!

What funny/stupid/ununderstandable things have made you think hard today?

Alt Q: What have you forgotten at home that was quite important?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 24 Nov 2010, 8:30, 178 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm back, motherfuckers
Vietnam was fucking brilliant, I bring back with me some great memories and a keen appreciation of just how ridiculously cold our silly little island is. I also bring back about 700 photos but thanks to whatever thieving cunt of a baggage handler who caused the box the camera came in to disappear, no means of downloading said pictures to Facebook.

So, what have I missed?

Alt Q - if anyone has Vietnam-related questions please fire away, it's really nowt like the films suggest. Before you ask, no I did not have a massage, with or without a happy ending, no-one solicited me using the words "sucky sucky" or "me love you long time" and yes, I will be peppering most of my posts with references to how you wouldn't understand cos YOU WEREN'T THERE and how good napalm smells in the morning.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 24 Nov 2010, 7:59, 56 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?
What have you done this evening?

Alt: What are you doing now?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 23:02, 147 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Where's blaireau when you need a bit of plumbing advice?
The radiator in Sweary Jr's room won't heat up. It's been bled, and seems to have refilled with water but the whole panel remains cold. We've even tried switching it off and back on again. All the other radiators in the house are fine. Anyone got any ideas before we resort to ringing a plumber, staying in all day and him not fucking turning up?

Alt: What's the next gig you'e going to?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 20:04, 168 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I fucking love internet banking.
That is all.



Alt q: When will I meet a nice bloke? I want the place, date and time please.
( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 18:24, 53 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

mr b3th is working from home today
and I have just heard him, on the phone to someone, use the word 'flange'.

What is the best word you've heard today?

Alt Q: what is the cleverest word you know?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 15:59, 190 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

What are your three discoveries for the day?
On my lunchbreak I found out that myspace is still going, its been rebranded and is a cunt to use on a phone, despite having having the M to denote that it's a mobile friendly site.

I love The walking dead now that I've got time to watch it properly instead of 10 minutes here and there on study breaks

Finally, it is also difficult to put on a gown and surgical gloves in a sterile manner in 6 minutes without mangling your hands, ripping a glove or swearing profusely as is required by upcoming exams.

AltQ: if you haven't discovered something today, what have you learned instead?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 14:25, 213 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Looks like next Easter is good for canny holiday taking.
Good friday 22\4,
Easter Monday 24\4,
Wills wedding 29\4,
may day bh 2\5.
Bloody hell, I need to get a job to take advantage of that!
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 13:40, 131 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I reckon I can break Monty with the following two links.
www.nme.com/list/albums-of-the-decade/158049/page/1

www.nme.com/list/tracks-of-the-decade/158050/page/1

Alt: Lunch.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 12:14, 163 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Decisions, decisions
I just got a call from human resources from that company in Madrid. They're offering me the job, good salary, good conditions and really very interesting job.

It's to work in Madrid, which is good. But they don't know about Mark yet. They might want him to work in Chile. I've told them, I'm ok to go to Chile, I'm ok to go anywhere as long as we can go together. They're going to think about it.

At least they'll be paying for that English exam themselves (£90), so that's good.

I think very soon I'm going to have to make a big decision. London or Madrid? It'd be the second time I've said no to this Spanish company, and that's not good.

Mmmmm... when did you have to make a difficult decision last time?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Tue 23 Nov 2010, 10:39, 130 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Sorry, that thread doesn't give much chance for a laugh
The other night I ended up watching one of those stupid "Comedy Countdown" programs, in which they named the "50 Funniest Films Ever", or some shit like that.

I was thoroughly pissed off to see not 1, but 2 fucking Ben Stiller films in the top 20 (Something About Mary & Meet The Parents)! The cunt isn't funny, never has been, relies on making people cringe. Fucking hate the guy.

So, who do you hate, that other people seem to like?

Alt Q (Mainly for Monty): Who do you like that other people hate?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 8:41, 188 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

singing the wrong lyrics
I like to substitute 'In the Ghetto' with the words 'with a gecko'. Makes the song more interesting and less depressing.

What wrong lyrics do you sing? Either intentional or not.
originally posted in the QOTW suggestions, then I discovered THIS)
(Monkee girl not a monkee, not a girl, Tue 23 Nov 2010, 2:37, 15 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Young Mum And Tiny Baby Homeless in Builders' Fiasco
(Except I ain't that young and the baby weighs a stone now.)

Long story short: I own a maisonette above a basement which is a shop store. Shop store have ripped out their ceiling to put in soundproofing. I have thick building and cement dust coating the inside of my house, all over the baby's buggy, car seat, soft toys, nappies, my soft furnishings, everything... Builders say "oh we didn't realise that would happen". They call a cleaner who says it will take a team of 5 people the whole day to clean. Builder are doing more dusty work tomorrow so no point cleaning til Wednesday. Their surveyor says he can't authorise expenses to put us up as he has to contact the shop owners first. Claims this is not a party wall dispute. Catface, four month old catfaceceilidhbaby and I are out on the street with only the clothes we stand in. Friends have given us a bed for the night, other friends have donated nappies and baby clothes. I have no idea how bad the damage is or how wrecked the wedding dress that I am due to wear in less than 3 weeks is.

How much has today sucked for you?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 22:43, 87 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Anyone about?
Watching the Trip and not sure if it's shit or brilliant. Rob Rydon needs a kick in the teeth fo sho.

Q: What do you want for christmas?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 22:07, 99 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

On the tube home, I sometimes come up with stories for a book to write.
I never write them down, but I always think they're pretty cool.

Today's story I made up is in replies.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 20:49, 15 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I have to get this off my chest.
Dunlop Green Flash is a classic sneaker.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 19:12, 120 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Oh, no!
I forgot to call my taxi, so I'm going to have to stay here an extra hour (only one train per hour)

When was the last time you got stuck somewhere, and why?

Alt. Q: Anything, really, just keep me entertained.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Mon 22 Nov 2010, 17:04, 124 replies, latest was 15 years ago)