Time for a new one. What are the least pleasurable things in life that you have to deal with on a regular basis?
Alt: who is your biggest enemy & why?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 13:40, 95 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

What are the most pleasurable things in life?
Someone mentioned this earlier on. A common one is a right good dump.

I'd also suggest a right good blowjob.

Anyone got any others?

Alt: I don't know, probably lunch FFS.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Wed 12 Oct 2011, 12:00, 244 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

In a demonstration
that there really should be a 'Are you SURE you want to buy this item?' button on ebay, I am now the proud possessor of a suede coat that looks remarkably like something a seventies pimp would wear. What purchase have you regretted lately?

Alt: It's too early for lunch even for you fuckers, so tell me anything you like, preferably that puts you in an awful light on the internet
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 10:25, 135 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Anyone else find it disturbing
that a thread about killing animals got 403 replies - in the evening?

One of the signs of psychopathy, you know.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 7:24, 137 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Ever killed an animal?
Alt: how old is too old for a baseball cap?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 19:22, 403 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I've been lurking for a fair while across this site and I'm looking for a board to settle down on.
The Board is all right. Links seems a bit inbred to me. The people on Talk seem like a good bunch, the main qtow is a bit rubbish but you lot seem to have a bit of chatter going on. What tips would you give me to help make my visit more comfortable?
(NoeI «:::P:::» «:::E:::» «:::R:::» «:::V:::» «:::E:::», Tue 11 Oct 2011, 17:12, 268 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

If you could resign in whatever way you chose saying anything you like without any comeback what would you say?
I have just told my co-directors I am out of this place & they are currently writing me a (smaller than I would have liked) cheque for my equity. I have played nicely, but wish I didn't need to maintain the relationship - hence my question.

Alt: What would your dream job be?

Alt Alt: If you have your dream job why are you messing around on here instead of working?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 15:21, 163 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Since no one took up the option of b3th's alt question
I'll just drop this here.

news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/athletics/15243825.stm

The article hasn't been updated, but the bloke in question has, this morning, just admitted that the story is true and he did complete part of the marathon on a bus.

Have you ever cheated at something and then been embarrassingly caught out?

Alt: So has /talk died then?

Alt alt: the inevitable lunch, I suppose.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 12:39, 125 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I once slammed my car door shut while I was holding it with the other hand
and trapped my thumb.
Two days later, I did exactly the same thing. Same door, same hand, same thumb.

When have you damaged yourself in an entertaining manner?

Alt: Tell me tales of when you've caught someone out trying to scam you/someone else.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 11 Oct 2011, 11:06, 119 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Oh man, I've had a horrific night.
I feel asleep somewhere between the first and second showings of Hollyoaks last night, woke up on the couch in that confused sleepy state so took myself straight to bed. Then at 12 I woke up in really bad pain, I get these kinds of pains every month or soo and it lasts a couple of days. Ibupiriphame cream and hot water bottles are the only things that touch it, not even the morphine or methadone does it (it's the wrong kind of pain or something like that).

I then eventually crash out 'till about 3:15, where I woke up and they were talking about ghosts on the radio, how there was a girl who had a few haunted experiances. So naturally, in my dazzed state, every single pipe and floorboard creeking and ratling was down to the ghost of where I live.... The building was made in 18:51, and was a fire-station at one point, so naturally it's haunted by a victorian station master who's wife and children died in a fire, and he was so distrort that he hanged himself, and his ghost lingers on. This was 100% true and lodgical in my head at the time. 3:15 is important too, because that is "The Witching Hour" according to some horror film.

I then crashed out about 30 minutes later until 7ish, took another shedload of painkillers, and hope they last a long time, the hot water bottle is helping though.

Have a Tuesday Morning Lawl: www.lamebook.com/logging-offspring/
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 11 Oct 2011, 7:59, 166 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Bugger that silliness. Let's have a proper thread.
I'm getting heartily sick of lying around at home with no energy. Other than watching films and wanking like a chimp, can any one suggest good ways to pass the time, preferably not involving leaving the flat?

Alt: longest time you've been stuck in bed, for whatever reason.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Mon 10 Oct 2011, 20:48, 252 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

hello!
what are your names? tell me something about yourselfs and we can all get to know one another in this nice, friendly thread

NO BULLYING!
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 17:26, 76 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Anyone live by a motto or code? if so what is it and why?
alt: anyone scared of flying?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 16:29, 67 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

affordable art fair
sorry for spam-esque post, i will delete it shortly! quite a few of you mentioned an interest in the affordable art fair, which is a really brilliant exhibition (if a bit dangerous, leave your credit card at home...) in battersea park from 19-23 october. my friend has a gallery which is exhibiting there, so i have some free and some half-price entry tickets. monty is having one; if anyone else wants a ticket, post here or gaz me.

as you were.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 15:08, 119 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Quick a bbc news link will wake up the board
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-15241697

I haven't even read it.

Any exciting plans this week, I have a beer festival on saturday. Doing fuck all until then.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 13:45, 137 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

New Thread Needed
As I mentioned, I found a shop selling Root Beer, Goldfish Crackers and various American Chocolate bars. Apart from Orbital Comics, I think it's my new favourite...shit...this is leading to 'What is your favourite shop?'...but that's shit. Um...I'll try to make up for it with an Alt.


Alt: Next year I'm going to New York and The Edinburgh Festival, all being equal. Any holiday plans?

That's shit too. um...AltAlt: I saw Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. Didn't understand a fucking minute of it. What films that everyone else gets confuse you?

That's it, I'm done.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:03, 30 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

b3ta babies
god it's quiet on here today. let's play god and create some b3ta babies. who would you cross-breed with whom, and why, and what would the resulting bastard offspring be like? bonus points for comedy names.

alt q: lunch, i suppose. a new lebanese place has just opened up near here, so i am checking that out today.

alt alt q: what perfume/aftershave are you wearing?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 12:01, 155 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Morning all
I'm gonna drop this here like a beery fart then probably fuck off as I have 8% battery left

My back is better! Woop! About fucking time too

Sunday lunch. Meh. I'm totally bored with it. Takes ages to cook. What new things can I try, bearing in mind Mrs Cow is picky?

Alt:
Tell me about both the rock and indeed roll happenings of your weekend
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 10 Oct 2011, 6:48, 215 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

My housemate is a lazy retarded fuckface. Tell me how to sort him out.
Also will anyone miss me when I go to the states?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sun 9 Oct 2011, 22:48, 47 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

The Interesting Thread.
Everyone here has something interesting, or at least, something they think is interesting. Let's use this thread to expand our minds and spread knowledge of interesting things.

There is a video here, it's a disney video, but explains something called The Golden Ratio; something discovered by the greeks around the time of Pythagorious.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=oT_Bxgah9zc

It's a pattern that shows up throughout nature, music, archetecture and design even to this day (for example, facebook's new album-view follows it, when you have a big picture on the left and two smaller ones on the side). It's also used a tiny bit inside the new version of Windows (Windows Phone 7 / Windows 8) with their 'metro UI'. But it expands to architecture and nature too, such as the spirals on a shell, or most greek structures.

I find it amazing that such a simple theory can be produced on so many levels, the video explains it in a way that I can't, but I found it extremely interesting.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 9 Oct 2011, 16:55, 460 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Good morning.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 9 Oct 2011, 10:11, 316 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Dead as a dead thing.
Anybody out there?

Alt: what do you think of my hat? Rather spiffing don't you think?
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sat 8 Oct 2011, 21:28, 146 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

God, the thread below is depressing.
You can go on a holiday to anywhere, in any period of history, with anyone you want. Everything is paid for. Where do you go, and with whom?
( Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Sat 8 Oct 2011, 17:17, 49 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Attack the Block is not too bad, I suppose
but it made me very, very cross at teenagers in general, and people who talk in that annoying patois, like, innit blud, you get me? Allow.

What have you enjoyed that's also made you incredibly cross/annoyed/pissed off? Apart from anger wanks, obviously.

Alt: Saturday afternoons. What are they good for, assuming you don't want to suffer the complete and utter nightmare that is 'town', or 'other people'?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 8 Oct 2011, 15:48, 98 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

1st!
not a proud claim on a Saturday, especially as I've been awake for over an hour. I plan to offset this by spending all day in bed with a lap top watching crappy movies and eating biscuits.

So, what's your excuse for being in front of a computer on a Saturday?

Alt: I'm about to watch In The Name of The King, which appear to be a fantasy/medieval thing with Jason Stathem, which seems an un likely combination. What's the oddest actor/genre combination you've seen and did it work?

Edit: fucksocks, 2nd.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Sat 8 Oct 2011, 10:06, 74 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Morning Benders.
I'm in bed watching the rugby. How the devil are you?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 8 Oct 2011, 10:02, 14 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

By poopular demand...
Tuneage and that. Jeff is in the pub so I can quite happily accuse him of quendophilia.

Now- a slight theme for maybe the first few tracks- bands that others may be surprised that you like.

First up-

www.youtube.com/watch?v=gd3C9aAupQI

Manic Street Preachers. From The Holy Bible. An astounding album, nobody thought they had it in them to deliver on their promise and convert pretension to perfection.

It's a horrible album- jagged, acidic and hateful, but shot through with such dark humanity and humour that it truly becomes, as one critic once said, 'a triumph of art over logic'. This is the opening track, and has a very sweary word in the first line.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 7 Oct 2011, 22:03, 243 replies, latest was 14 years ago)