I just found a pack of bacon in the freezer
2 slices of white bread and a thick coating of butter. That's dinner sorted then.

What are you having for dinner tonight?

ALT: What word do you wish was used more often? Mine is 'tomfoolery'.
(The Oscillating Gibbon is eating curried squid, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 17:22, 91 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Why can't we be friends?
alt:Meh.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 14:25, 119 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

In special honour of Gonz, lets all have a fucking massive rant!
What is boiling your piss today?

Alt:
What is making you happy?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 12:47, 128 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

This morning on my way to work I saw a pigeon eating the lumps out of a puddle of puke on the pavement
What is the most disgusting thing you have seen recently? *

Alt: What odd things have you seen on your commute?

*Anyone mentioning my face or my mother will get fisted by Nick Clegg.


I posted this first thing but deleted it when I realised I had stomped MMPS. You're welcome.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 11:36, 79 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

It's world book day! Show you can't give a toss by voting for the new Question of the Week
HERE
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 10:26, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

Fucking hell, are you not entertained?
I'm listening to Ebeneezer Goode by the Shamen.
What was your last facebook update?

Alt: If you could do ANYTHING what would you do?
I'd like to punch a goat, right in the face.

Alt alt: Fuck knows, say whatever you like.
BUMS!!!
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 1 Mar 2012, 8:50, 213 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Marry me, chumps!
ha! turn me down and you all owe me gloves.

alt: what is the stupidest/unlikeliest traditions

also - evening!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 18:31, 154 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Parents evening
I'm off to my son's parents evening in a minute. I'm looking forward to it as he is very bright and is one of the good kids. It was a different story for my parents. I used to dread their return.
Tell me your hilarious parents evening tales.

Alt: inappropriate things to say to his teacher please (would, by the way)
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 16:17, 89 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

20mins and no posts
Are you all too busy sifting chicken fried krill with your enormous baline filled mouths?

£5 flat fee fine. Who or what would you like to be able to charge with a £5 fine? i will nominated the wanker trying to pull in fropm the wrong lane on my commute this morning, thus avoiding the queue, NOT ON MY WATCH SUNSHINE!

alt alt: *sigh* lunch?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 13:20, 189 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Soo, the Olympics.
Does anyone care about these? Are they just an expensive white elephant? There's rumours of public sector strikes during this waste of space, do you actually care? Could the 9 billion go elsewhere?

Alt, those Raspberry pute things are cute, I want one. You?
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Wed 29 Feb 2012, 11:25, 76 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Morning, lovely people
Anyone ever heard of Rico? (Not the user on here, the singer guy). Two amazing albums and then disappears, I wonder what he's up to these days.

Alt: long sleeves or short? or long ones rolled up?

Alt alt: anyone want to buy my guitar?
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 10:07, 97 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I SAID YES!!!!!
Unbelievable....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Feb 2012, 7:22, 106 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

B3th!!!!!!
www.thisisbristol.co.uk/Stick-rock-man-banned-Weston-super-Mare/story-15324927-detail/story.html

Evening all.

How was your day? I can't believe it's only Tuesday. I'm shattered.

What ya doin' this evening?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 18:42, 273 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

To annoy Janet Aylia
Can you all please click "i like this" on anything with Tittish Belicom in the title on QOTW.

Thanks.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 16:34, 164 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Philanthropy
I read an article a couple of weeks ago that suggested that bankers might not be such figures of hate if they put their excessive earnings to good use - The Stephen Hester Library, The Fred Goodwin Hospice, etc.

Is philanthropy dead? What happened to employers like John Cadbury who took some social responsibility.

If you had a spare couple of £million, how would you spend it to benefit your fellow man? On the arts? Building hospitals?

Alt: Why do you hate your fellow man so much?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 13:25, 312 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I am of average height as has been acknowledged here recently. What physical attribute do people primarily associate you with ? *
* Comments about the size of your penis will result in a punch in the face (apart from swipe, she likes talking about her cock).

Alt: Monarchy or republic?

Alt Alt: stick your lunch up your sweaty ringpiece.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 12:08, 91 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Army, Navy or Airforce; which would you join if you had to and why?
Alt: What's the most dangerous thing you have ever done? (your mum answers will require you to dyaaky)

alt alt:fuck knows, ever been to the circus, I haven't because they are shit and cruel to animals.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 10:31, 244 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Hello sailors
Hands off cocks, on socks - time to get up. Are you a morning person, full of the joys of spring as soon as the alarm goes off? Or are you the slow offspring of Oscar the grouch and his zombie cousin?

Alt: what law would you make, if you were in charge for the day? How would you enforce it?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Feb 2012, 7:33, 267 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Oi! Rats!
get back on this sinking ship, goddam it!

alt: what ship is the best ship?

whoever says friendship gets a kick in the nads

REPLY MORTALS OR THIS BADGER WILL FUCK YOU UP images.wikia.com/mafiawars/images/a/a6/Honey-badger.jpg
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 19:08, 94 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Fucking Pointless.

The IT Bods have given me a new phone. Now when it rings, picking it up is not enough, I have to then press a button before it connects too. What the fuck is the point of that? Phones work perfectly well - they ring, you pick them up, you speak. Why did anyone think there was any need to introduce another step into that process? Fucks sake.

What has made you feel like Victor Meldrew recently?

Alt: I'm going round hunting for the Faberge Eggs on 'The Great Easter Egg Hunt' in my spare time. What activity made you realise you may as well come out of the closet and be done with it?

AltAlt: Being Human is fucking brilliant, isn't it? (or have I just provided another answer to my own Alt?).
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 14:32, 193 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

I've made bobby cry because he has realised that he is stuck with a future full of stinky ginger minges
when did you last make someone cry, did they deserve it? When did you last cry you fucking ponce?

alt: Mightybadger has broken his arm, what bones have you broken and how?

altalt: lunch; for the fatties amongst you
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 12:36, 56 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

without psychochomps BBC links this place dies on its arse
www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-17175112 - this is an attention seeking cunt. whats the worst thing you ever did for attention?

alt www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-17115643 who do you think will win in this fight? do we wade in and just start punching all the middle east like a chav wedding?
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 11:15, 97 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Great late-night thread by my mentally ill login-thief there.
Even though it does reference 'cinema', something I'm 'really into', that wasn't me. It doesn't especially bother me but it's a bit fucking weird, eh?

Good weekend? Mine was tip-top. Warm weather makes entertaining a three-year-old considerably cheaper.

Alt: Good week ahead? Aside from being proposed to on Weds I've nothing exciting coming up.

Attn AA: Hitler film safely delivered, will spare the missus that one as she's going away later this week so I'll be having a Nazi weekend. Thanks a lot.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 27 Feb 2012, 8:32, 118 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Sunday Evening Sounds?
Ravonettes, low level tinnitus - stuck with that - and birdies still chirping at 17.58 which means Spring is on the way. Hurrah!

Are you procrastinating right now? Ooh I bet you are you terrible procrastinating tinkers.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 26 Feb 2012, 18:01, 113 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Sunday morning sounds
Right now I can hear the glorious music of Arvo Part, the sizzling of eggs frying in a pan, the "pssht" sounds of my 6 year old playing with his light sabre and the delighted squeals of his 2 month old sister watching him.
What does your Sunday morning sound like?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 26 Feb 2012, 9:25, 104 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Rugby is bent.Discuss.
Just got back from my nephews 3rd birthday party. Going to do some spring cleaning before a late afternoon early evening bbq. Lovely stuff.
(ThunderCuntThePendejo officially less shit than NakedApe, Sat 25 Feb 2012, 16:29, 114 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

And so it falls to me.
First thread of the day. Tell me about a time when you have cringed or belmed, publicly, at someone misusing reflexive pronouns.

Used to happen all the time at my last place, but they were staffed by nincompoops.

GO!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 25 Feb 2012, 9:40, 15 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Black and red. Yellow and orange. Yellow and green. Yellow, orange and green.
These are the acceptable combinations of fruit pastilles. Red and orange is tolerable if you've got to the end of the bag with an odd pair like some sort of combinatorial spastic.

Questions? No. Good. Bring on the inanity.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 24 Feb 2012, 17:05, 118 replies, latest was 14 years ago)