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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Hello Monday!
Well I've just logged on, found out that my internet banking account need re-registering to prevent fraud. Every bloody week that is!
Oh, and I appear to have won the dutch lottery, and president mugabugaboo wants to send me 18 Million Gazillion Dollars for something. The guy actually trusts me to give it him all back bar 20% for my effort. lol. Im off to buy that tropical island I've always wanted!

But what has really really brightened up a dull monday, is the fact that my boss won't be in until later. Woooooooooo Hoooooooooooooo!!!!

So whats brightening up your monday?
(Miggyman, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 7:55, 434 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
Lehman
Fcukers.

Fcukers, fcukers, fcukers.

Bollocks.

I'm going to have to ring PWC. I'm owed a bit of cash by Lehman that I'm not now going to get back.

Fcuk.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 8:51, Reply)
for a minute there I thought you were going to say "fuck"
I don't think you're allowed to say "FUCK" here

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

oh wait, maybe you are

fuck
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 9:13, Reply)
You clearly are.
Fuck you.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 9:14, Reply)
Fcuksox
It's a bit more than I'd expected.

/goes to find shotgun

/heads to Lehman EMEA HQ

At least I can reclaim the VAT on it.

FCUKERS!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 9:25, Reply)
Tell me about it!
My stocks are way down today and I'm not a happy sunny bunny.
(I helped save b3ta! Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:12, Reply)
'lo Miggyman
My Monday is brightened up by the fact that it'll be Saturday in five days.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 8:51, Reply)
My Monday has good and bad points
Good:

I'm still happy after an excellent weekend.
I've not got much work to do today.
I've got a band practice tonight.

Bad:
I'm tired.
I've had a nasty dose of The Shits this morning.
I'm at work.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 9:05, Reply)
I can sympathise.
The first cup of coffee I had this morning was like a MOAB going off in my guts.

What do you play?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 9:19, Reply)
Play?
Bass and sing.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 9:24, Reply)
I play Bass too
badly though :)
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 9:39, Reply)
I didn't say I play it well
Hahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 9:46, Reply)
Woo
Bass players!
(I helped save b3ta! SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:22, Reply)
You as well?
Good work!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:34, Reply)
Me too
Sometimes
(I helped save b3ta! Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:35, Reply)
Woo!
Failed guitarists of the world unite!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:41, Reply)
I play guitar as well
We aren't failed. Just different.

Pshaw. Honestly, I ask you... Kids these days...
(I helped save b3ta! SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:42, Reply)
I play
lots of stuff, ranging from good (singing) to competent (guitar & cello) to not very good really (bass) to who is strangling that cat?(saxophone).
(misspiggy In danger of having to get a job, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:48, Reply)
Lots of guitar players tend to believe they can pick up the bass
because it has less strings and is therefore easier.

The downfall tends to be that they fail to recognise when to step back, and they also tend to lack a lot of rhythmic sensibility.

/shreds
(I helped save b3ta! SuperWeasel slightly better than the average weasel, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:29, Reply)
Really?
I also play the sing.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:15, Reply)
Wow,
Cool!
Do you want to be my friend?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:18, Reply)
I can't.
I can play no bass. Though I do play the perch.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:32, Reply)
Morning all
Had quite a good weekend so my Monday morning isn't too bad at the moment. Got a meeting at 10 that will be...fun?!

Other than that it's just same old same old here.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 9:17, Reply)
I just sneezed 8 times in a row
and busted the myth about sneezing 8 times in a row.

I've already had to tell the falling through a car window story four times and not everyone is in the office yet.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 9:24, Reply)
Morning TGB
I saw the highlights last night!

Great race.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 9:43, Reply)
morning folks
how's it going?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 9:39, Reply)
Morning Vipros
It's not too bad down here - how are you?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 9:42, Reply)
pretty good
tired, but had a good weekend

played two good gigs and had a good surf. played some poker and ate roast beef.

can't complain about that!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 9:47, Reply)
Mornin' Mr. V.
Sounds like a good weekend!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 9:49, Reply)
*refuses to use the stupid reply system*
The race was awesome! Hamilton went through phases of being shit, then brilliant then shit again.

Hey Vipros :) I'm good, sneezey but good!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 9:46, Reply)
sneeziness isn't good
I've got a modicum of coldiness today, but I'm keeping it at bay.

I'm sure my new regime of drinking an enormous smoothie for breakfast everyday is going to pay off in that respect
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 9:51, Reply)
I feel really cold
Today is shivering day.

I need coffee and some really spicy noodles.
Separate, I mean.

*shivers*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 9:53, Reply)
Yeah I hope it's not going to get worse
If it does - send soup!

Also we have no milk in the office so no tea :( Although I am tempted to have black tea
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 9:55, Reply)
I suggest coffee and spicy noodles together
sure fire cold remedy

get some dried frog in there too
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 9:57, Reply)
Morning all
It feels to me like I got no sleep at all last night, and today I have a huge report to write :(
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:00, Reply)
Maybe...
A nice strong Russian Coffee will always do the job of making me feel good, but I have to drive later.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:01, Reply)
Morning people!
I hope I'm replying to the right person!
I hope everyone is doing well.
Poor little Kaol - poorly today?
*hugs everyone*
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:02, Reply)
I don't think I'm poorly
I'm just not firing on all cylinders yet, I think.

Give it an hour or so and I'll be back to my normal self.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:06, Reply)
:(
My friend just came into my office to tell me my other friend killed himself on Saturday night. I saw him on Thursday and he looked fine, and he was sttarting to drag himself out of it.

RIP Jason. Top bloke.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:02, Reply)
ah, that's crappy BK
:-/
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:04, Reply)
Oh BK
That's terrible news. I am so sorry. I don't know what else to say but I hope you're ok considering the circumstances.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:05, Reply)
Hi Mrs L & LvP
BK that sucks *hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:05, Reply)
@BK
Damn, I'm sorry to hear that BK. My thoughts and sympathies are with you and his family.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:05, Reply)
I'm really sorry to hear that BK
That's rubbish.
*hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:06, Reply)
Morning all
So, catching up:

Sneezing - I frequently sneeze at least six times in a row. A sequence of 8 sneezes is not uncommon.

Monza - good race. I was chuffed for Vettel and also pleased that Alonso made a few points. And Massa caught up on Hamilton to keep it interesting at the top. I'd still prefer if Hamilton won the championship (sorry, clendrix!) but I'd rather he had to fight for it.

Sorry to hear about your friend, BK. That's a hellish way for you to start a Monday morning.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:07, Reply)
Morning TGB
Did everyone have a good weekend?
I had a lovely time with mr VP, we went to the V+A and had a walk around Soho and Chinatown and the we went to visit friends for an Italian meal and a quiet pint.
Heaven!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:08, Reply)
Sounds good!
I also had a London-weekend.
Lots of drinking, a street party, dinner with some lovely b3tans, an exhibition about skeletons and more drinking.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:09, Reply)
Oooh
My first personal reply! As much as this system confuses me, I still like a personal reply!
It was a great weekend, they have a jewellery display at the v+a so I had sparkly things, friends, chinese food, italian food and beer this weekend. Yay!
Edit - Bum, I've just seen that this is actually my second reply. Oh well, two is better than one! (sometimes)
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:11, Reply)
Sounds fun!
I've not been to the V&A, but I will one day.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:16, Reply)
It's really good
For a free museum! We looked at the Asian exhibits and the jewellery and stained glass stuff. But we didn't look at everything, I want an excuse to go back.
I am such a museum geek, I love them!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:18, Reply)
I'm gonna go to the
Natural History Museum soon, they're opening a big new section.
Museums are fun!
The skeleton exhibition I went to was in The Wellcome Collection, free too, well worth a look.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:20, Reply)
Whereabouts?
I have been to the Natural History twice this summer! And I really want to go to the Tower of London one and there was a Jack the Ripper exhibition displayed but I can't remember where it was.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:26, Reply)
Erm... it's this:
www.nhm.ac.uk/about-us/darwin-centre/

The Skeleton exhibition is just over the road from Euston station.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:41, Reply)
Morning guys
How's everybody?

Sorry to hear that BK...don't really know what else to say but hope you're okay.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:08, Reply)
Good morning all.
Apart from BK who's having a bad morning.

*hugs*



*fingers crossed for old system to come back*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:08, Reply)
Sorry, toots.
It's here to stay. And I like it this way.

So there.
(I helped save b3ta! The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:05, Reply)
K2K6
I wasn't saying it was uncommon I was making a joke about the myth if you sneeze enough you have an orgasm - thought you'd pick up on that, have you been eating glue again?

Hey Lab sorry missed you the first wave of hellos :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:11, Reply)
Hello
I'm about £15,000 worse off this morning than I was last night.

Good race though at Monza - the rain made it interesting, and I'm looking forward to the night race in Singapore.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:14, Reply)
Hmmm...
Bad night at the dogs?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:17, Reply)
That's no way to refer to Edmund's girlfriend!
Good morning!
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:21, Reply)
Erm, no.
That'd be Lehmans.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:30, Reply)
Ah. That's not good.
Well I can lend you 50p if you need it, and I've got some pocket lint that we could sell as stuffing for pillows?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:33, Reply)
Morning TGB!
Don't worry, I'm not offended you missed me in the hello wave :p
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:25, Reply)
Thanks everyone
Just came right out of the blue.
*hugs everyone*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:26, Reply)
I just read my way up the board
Sorry to hear about your friend, I know it's impossible to know what to say in these situations, but I always find it best to concentrate on the positives. My uncle died a few weeks ago and I kept making my aunt smile and cry by talking about all the good stuff, not what happened to him.

Keep thinking about those positives, I bet he was a top bloke.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:28, Reply)
He was
He had a lot of issues.

The wake will be carnage I'm fairly sure, with all his beer monster friends getting together.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:30, Reply)
Damn right, it should be too
Celebrate the life, don't mourn the death.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:34, Reply)
I second what Bert said
*man hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:31, Reply)
*snogs*
*sees sig*

I guarantee you that you're not as hairy as the Sexmonkey.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:35, Reply)
Quite possibly
But I do need to tidy up le beard and cut my fringe so it's not in my eyes oh god my eyes!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:40, Reply)
Fringe? Beard?
That's not true hirsute-ness, I've probably got more hair on my buttocks than you have on your whole head.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:43, Reply)
*cops a feel*
By jove you're right!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:45, Reply)
It's like I'm smuggling sheep.
One day I'm going to shave myself from head to toe, and sell the results as some kind of exotic fibre.

Anyone interested in a black jumper made of my bum wool?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:47, Reply)
The German for cotton
is Baumvolle, which always translates in my head as Bum Wool.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:56, Reply)
Me too!
and fresh milk is Vollmilsch.

Those poor, tiny little voles.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:04, Reply)
Grammar Police
it's Vollmilch of course :-)

No s to see there

/gets Grammar Police coat
(bloody kraut, a ...ach, there is not enough fluffeh 'ere, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:16, Reply)
I thought so!
But it's been more than a decade since I've been to the Fatherland.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:19, Reply)
Jawohl, Herr KaLeun!
Vell i have to excuse zis zen!
(bloody kraut, a ...ach, there is not enough fluffeh 'ere, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:38, Reply)
That's good lab :p
Now I've met you, your wave quota is less than people I haven't :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:35, Reply)
An observation of people's behaviour
I had a van this weekend, as my car's off the road, and had a gig in Liverpool. Now, when I'm driving my car, and I overtake someone on the motorway, that's pretty much it.

But in the van, people in cars seemed to automatically speed up as I was overtaking them. Then sometimes they'd overtake me again, pull in front and slow down. All the time, I'd kept a constant speed. WTF?

Does it make your willy smaller if you're overtake by a van? Seems that some people think so.

Edit - TGB, no glue this weekend. I hadn't heard that myth though. Maybe that's why I enjoy sneezing so much...
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:50, Reply)
It's probably because
people see vans as big, heavy and slow-moving. If you're over-taking them they'd suddenly think, 'I'm obviously not going fast enough. Carruthers! We need more kittens in the furnace immediately.'
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:52, Reply)
Yeah, but
this was a Renault Kangoo, not a Luton.

I was minding my own business, doing about 70mph in it. It's not like I was fannying about, nor haring on like a delivery man in a Merc Sprinter.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:54, Reply)
See, that's your problem right there.
Everybody knows that the real speed limit is 90.

Unless there are police or speed cameras around.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:56, Reply)
Out of interest
Was it mostly in England this happened, or Scotland too?

I find English drivers to be worse for this kind of thing generally.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:53, Reply)
Mostly on the M6
in England. But it happened on the M74 and M80 too.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:55, Reply)
I was up near Glasgow recently
and driving along the M8 there's a junction for the A8, which is written like text speak 'A8 M8' (say it to yourself in a mockney accent), so whenever we went passed it I said to myself, 'Yes I am, thank you very much for asking'.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:59, Reply)
k2k6
the problem with people on the motorway is that they are generally cunts

a lot of people seem to take what you are doing personally.

I usually drive at about 85 and get quite frustrated if people sit in the middle or outside line not making any progress and cause me to brake, but once I'm past them they are forgotten. whereas others will treat being overtaken as a personal slight.

what really gets me is the people who sit in the outside or middle lane at a stupid speed and then get incredibly aggro if you undertake them. For the record I will only undertake someone if they are doing the above, and then only if there aren't a lot of other cars around, so if I'm even considering it then they shouldn't be in that lane.

driving lessons and the driving test should include long sections of motorway driving to teach people how to do it.

edit: to turn this into more of a rant - drivers in the north are shit, and they are fucking rude to boot.

down in the pleasant south west, if someone lets us out of lets us through then we give a wave of thanks. I was doing this in the peak district and what did I get in return?

miserable cunts looking like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:55, Reply)
I only under-take at 70 or less.
But if I do, they get the "wanker" sign.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:58, Reply)
Anybody else find the spelling mistake on the sign funny as fuck?
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7613307.stm
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:57, Reply)
I like that!
Also, maybe Eastenders'd be worth watching, sounds funny.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:00, Reply)
Sex offender pilots?
They fly planes now too? IS NOWHERE SAFE?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:01, Reply)
It's true.
They even drive busses.

The first man in space was also a paedo.
Astro-fucking your children, since 1961.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:14, Reply)
SOMEBODY PROTECT THE SPACE CHILDREN
Actually, the old baddie from Lost in Space looked like a serious paedo, poor little Will Robinson.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:21, Reply)
Yeah
Danger Will Robinson!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:25, Reply)
and Leroy Jetson.
He was probably being groomed and molested by Spacely Sprocket.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:30, Reply)
The Future is Bright, The Future is Purple
and dripping in your face, you dirty little cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:34, Reply)
It's a brand new van
and it's on loan from the garage as a favour, so I didn't want to thrash it.

I did however manage to cut up a bloke in a BMW X5 near Liverpool. But I regard that as acceptable behaviour, because if he's in an X5 on a suburban road, then he's automatically a cunt.

I also deliberately came up to one of these 60mph middle lane hogs from the inside lane, moved two lanes over, then cut right in front of him to return to the left lane, as the road was empty. Just because he was being a twat, and I had a van!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 10:59, Reply)
60 MPH middle-laners...
*shakes head*

I was driving down the M11 last week, at about 1 in the morning, and came across one of those.
Empty road.

So my mate and I decided it was a good idea to loop them.

Then wave.

Then drive off.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:02, Reply)
I read about looping on a QOTW
I've only done it once in the short time I've been driving, but then if you drive at 60 in the middle lane you deserve far worse things to happen to you.

Things which involve angry wolverines.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:06, Reply)
that is the required action for X5 drivers
and those who sit in the middle lane
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:04, Reply)
Someone just deleted
A reply.
We lost a chunk, thanks a lot, wanker.

Actually, you're new to this, I'll let you off.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:06, Reply)
See another reason why the format sucks :p
I can't even tell something was deleted! :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:10, Reply)
What?
Where? Who?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:14, Reply)
Morning all.
I have nothing interesting to say so just saying hello!
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:06, Reply)
Hello!
Hello my pretty! How was your weekend?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:08, Reply)
It was ok MissVP
I went a park yesterday and ate ice cream and drew little eyes on my friend Bill's chin so it looked like a little chin man.
I live a very exciting life!
Yours ok?
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:10, Reply)
Mine was Ace
I caught up with some friends I haven't seen for a while, my ex-housemate is moving to Spain so we met for a boozy lunch to say goodbye. I was a very good girl and didn't cry when I said goodbye even though I'm TERRIBLE at goodbyes and am super jealous that she's going to live in Spain.
But my weekend lacked chin faces. So not as good as yours!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:13, Reply)
Morning Ms. Lust.
Good weekend?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:09, Reply)
Oh Lusty you're so fine
You're so fine you blow my mind,
hey Lusty,
hey
hey
hey Lusty

*claps*

EDIT You take me by the heart when you take me by the nads.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:10, Reply)
Oh Bert!
You do know how to flatter a girl.
*smittens*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:11, Reply)
*blushes*
*exposes inner beauty*
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:13, Reply)
EEEEEWWWWWWW!
Put it away please, you hideous monkey-freak :(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:15, Reply)
You love my inner beauty*!
If you stare long enough, it's like you can almost taste it.

*crusty old cock
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:16, Reply)
Morning Lusty
You don't have to say anything interesting, with your special talent!

*waits in hope*
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:14, Reply)
*jiggles*
Just a little one though. I'm not feeling amazingly jiggly this morning.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:17, Reply)
One's enough, thanks
*beams*
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:18, Reply)
@Bert
Your showing your age.....which is better than what your usually showing.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:16, Reply)
I'll be 27 next month :C
I'm exposing my inner beauty just up there^^^
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:17, Reply)
Really?
I thought you were a bit older than that.
No offence.
I think you're the same age as Al.
Awh, you can grow old together!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:19, Reply)
Why did you think I was older?
I don't think I'm aging very well, my lack of bulk has left my sking all saggy and wrinkled.

I think al's a little bit older than me, but his beard makes him look like a cavalier, so for all we know he could be centuries old.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:22, Reply)
Oh...
I dunno... You have an air of maturity, I guess.

Or if I can't remember how old someone is, I invent an age for them in my head.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:24, Reply)
An air of maturity...?
You were seriously pissed the one and only time that we've met. I guess most parents have that air of maturity though.

Not that I behaved very maturely at all that night, or any night in fact.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:26, Reply)
Me?
Seriously pissed?

I can't believe that for a minute.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:29, Reply)
Well I certainly hope it was the alcohol
If you slip me the tongue while sober we'll both know that something is seriously wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:31, Reply)
Er...
I don't know.
My memory of that night is more or less erased.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:33, Reply)
Because the shock and awe of being in the presence of
the greatness of so many b3tans causes amnesia?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:35, Reply)
Er... No
Starting on the vodka at 9am does that.

As I said, after I'd walked face-first into a wall that night, "I'm not pissed, fuck you."
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:40, Reply)
You say that
but I know that really it's because I'm very right. Particularly me, I think you've got a thing for me.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:43, Reply)
have to say
I thought you were older than me too, and I'm a youthful 27
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:25, Reply)
Why's that then?
We've never met! So, you're opinion of me on b3ta is that I'm old, grown up and mature?

WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:27, Reply)
I think I assumed that only someone
older than me could be quite so crude, immature and vulgar.

:-)
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:29, Reply)
That's more like it!
*bums*

(in the face)
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:30, Reply)
Groan...
In 15 minutes I've got to spend 3 hours caning the nuts off a Maserati Granturismo S, evaluating high-speed, full-throttle gearchanges.

Life's so hard sometimes ;)
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:17, Reply)
That's a shit job
If you need a break, I'll do it if you like.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:18, Reply)
*looks annoyed*
I wasn't happy when you were telling us this the other day and I am not happy about it now!

:p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:22, Reply)
Bah
It's slower than the Koenigsegg though, if that helps.

Right. Must go now and cause some global warming. It's great - floor the throttle and you can hear Bangladesh flooding...
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:31, Reply)
what does rubberduck do for a living?
I need to know so I can hate him properly :-)
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:36, Reply)
He's a plumber
of anus.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:38, Reply)
Fucks around with
high performance cars.

A lot.

Bastard.


(Love you really mate!)
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:39, Reply)
HimJim
You're much better at hiding your jealousy than I am.

I followed him home.

*looks around*

Ooo, he wasn't lying when he said he had a lot of wine! *passes the bottles around*
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:50, Reply)
You crazy fruitcake.
I left early to snoop round his house before he got back.

*sips vino daintily*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:06, Reply)
So...
Is it fair to say that most of you hate the new format?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:49, Reply)
I think it's starting to work a little better right now
As long as people don't go off on long, one thread conversations all over the place, it's fine.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:51, Reply)
it seems to kind of go through phases of awful and almost not bad
I'd prefer it the way it used to be though

plus it would annoy the people from /talk which makes it worth it on its own
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:53, Reply)
I wouldn't beg the mods to spite /talk
The fact is they're making changes to try and improve things, just for us, and if we don't like it we can still do it the old way.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:58, Reply)
Yup
Especially as if you reply to enough replies of replies etc then your posts get all squashed up against the edge of the page.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:53, Reply)
Yep
but one or two personal replies are alright.

As long as it's not too busy, I found myself losing track last night.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:57, Reply)
I agree with that
I think that if it's too busy it'll get messy.
But proper, considered replies, instead of "YOU CUNT" will make the whole thing better.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:00, Reply)
YOU CUNT
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:01, Reply)
I honestly don't think they'll change it back
As you can, in theory, still post "The Old Way".
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 11:57, Reply)
Hate
it
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:00, Reply)
*rims*
Does that help in any way at all?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:02, Reply)
I just don't like having to scroll up and down
constantly to check for new replies. We already have segmented topics on the "main page" of OT we don't need further segmentation within those separate topics.

It's madness! *runs around screaming*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:01, Reply)
I agree
And I keep getting confused between replying to a person or the start of their thread.
I am just too simple.
However, it is lovely of the mods to try new things on us. They were super lovely to give us the OT thread.
*smiles sweetly at mods*
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:08, Reply)
The New Style
As others have said, it only bothers me if everything gets pushed off to the far right, or if I have to keep scrolling up and down in order to see new comments.

A reply button and the bottom of the page would be lovely though.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:02, Reply)
Monday Monday.....
Good stuff:
1. No hangover due to working Saturday night (does anyone else get the two day hangover after a ledgendary night of boozehoundy goodness?)
2. Looking forward to meeting up with a very good friend tonight who will hopefully have bought me back a present from Munich *prays for beer*
3. It's lunchtime!!

Pants stuff:
1. My house smells a bit of sick - I think one of my housemates may be responsible
2. Broken my shiny new iPhone
3. It's so cold today. Brrr.
(GirlOfTheWorld, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:02, Reply)
Woo!
It's not just me feeling the cold today then!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:04, Reply)
I don't get hangovers
My metabolism is brilliant in that respect. I am invincible!
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:05, Reply)
GIRLS ON THE INTERNET
ABANDON SHIP!

*KLAXON NOISES*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:05, Reply)
Excuse me,
but what do you think clendrix, The Grammar Badger, Lucy Van Pelt and wanderlust are? Hmm?

Gays pretending to be girls to lure us into a false sense of security so they can rape us at bashes?

I bloody well hope so.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:07, Reply)
Have you not met any of
Those fine ladies then?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:08, Reply)
Only wanderlust, and she was lovely.
I was extremely disappointed by the lack of gay rape from the female b3tans at that bash.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:10, Reply)
Bert
I just cyber raped you.
What more do you want. really?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:10, Reply)
FACE RAPE
and anal fisting. You fisting me, that is, I'd never do that to a lady, I have pointy knuckles.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:12, Reply)
Ok
Shall I take my rings and bracelets off or do you like the accidental rip?
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:13, Reply)
Leave them on
It's not accidental if I'm forcing my way back onto your hand.

This conversation is very wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:16, Reply)
ha
This conversation rules.
You'll dream about this conversation tonight.
This conversation is your world.
You love it.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:19, Reply)
I could've been fisted all night
I could've been fisted all night,
and still yearned out for more....

*sighs*
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:21, Reply)
Damn
Rumbled.
Oh well, bend over then.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:08, Reply)
Yum....

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:10, Reply)
*attends bash*
*bums Bert*
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:09, Reply)
Yum

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:11, Reply)
AROOOOGA AROOOOGA!
I was attracted by all the kittens.
(GirlOfTheWorld, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:09, Reply)
NO
to girls on the Internet.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:11, Reply)
First username I've seen
that actively indicates womanhood.

And TGB, have I not MET YOU?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:17, Reply)
^bizarre
Are we not allowed on the internet then?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:10, Reply)
Uh-oh
Sexism row on the horizon.

*goes into storm shelter*
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:12, Reply)
My internet is far too slow
to get into any debates.

And I do feel like crap now as I have been sneezing all day and look like rudolph :(

*goes and curls up in a corner*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:15, Reply)
Awww....
Poor little badger.

*offers grubs and roots for badger to eat*

*makes vat of magic chicken soup*
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:18, Reply)
aah
*cuddles the badger*

*passes the quilt*

*snuggles up*
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:18, Reply)
*watches*



....yeah.

*hands slip into trousers*
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:20, Reply)
Thanks Lucy :)
*throws a shoe at bert*

*recommences snuggle time*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:29, Reply)
*sniffs shoe*
*recommences touching*

Go on, touch each other's boobies, you know you want to.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:31, Reply)
Throws another shoe at Bert
*snuggles down again*

*starts snoring*
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:38, Reply)
*licks shoe*
*goes off to pester someone more adventurous*

Kaol! Touch my boobies.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:40, Reply)
You should be.
I like having you here.
Just ignore Burt.
He's got a few extra chromosomes, I'm afraid.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:13, Reply)
Eh?
I wasn't the one expressing surprise to girls on the interweb, I was defending their honour in my own special way.

*strokes extra chromosomes*
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:15, Reply)
It appears not...
Doesn't matter anyway. I keep being distracted from it by pink things and Heat Magazine.
(GirlOfTheWorld, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:14, Reply)
Yeah me too
Damned tampon adverts on TV always get my attention...
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:15, Reply)
"Have a happy period"
W.T.F???
(GirlOfTheWorld, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:16, Reply)
What about
Have a period where you get to stay at home and eat what you want and snarl at people for no reason?

Only kidding gents, as we all know periods are made up to keep you lot in tow.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:18, Reply)
This is why I think man periods would be good
I want an excuse to do that.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:22, Reply)
Mine too.
Lady leak? Stop it with new all-improved, absorbant quim plugs!

Shampoo adverts are the best though, there's something a bit naughty about ladies tossing their hair.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:17, Reply)
Shampoo ads?
FOR FUCKS SAKE.

IT'S NOT SCIENCE.

WASHING UP LIQUID WOULD PRETTY MUCH DO THE SAME THING.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:21, Reply)
Hair soap.
It has magic properties and penta-peptides and arsenic.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:23, Reply)
Actually
shampoos do contain more than just surfactants, Kaol. It is actually science, although it does result in overpriced products.

Just like humans and chimpanzees share 99% of their DNA (or whatever it is), shampoo and washing up liquid is 99% the same. But it's the other 1% that makes the difference!
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:24, Reply)
Isn't it 99.9%?
I think the ingredients of shampoo give the appearance of healthy hair, but surely have actually healthy hair it'd be a matter of diet..?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:26, Reply)
I kinda knew that...
I was just baiting.

Yes there are things in shampoo.
But "Nutri-ceramide R" is not a real compound.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:29, Reply)
*bing*
*resets answers to left of page*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:30, Reply)
Just like that?
Good job on organising the bash btw :)
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:31, Reply)
Thanks
Poof sends his apologies :)
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:33, Reply)
Fire Engines
At least Pooflake isn't dead!

So, when's the next one?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:37, Reply)
Whenever I can make it :p
I just need a floor to sleep on, hahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:41, Reply)
If you promise not to play with knives
we have a spare room :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:43, Reply)
Deal!
*grins*

You're a brave lady.

Although Clendrix will vouch for me.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:45, Reply)
You can't be worse than some of the
people my housemate has had staying.

Please don't cover my bathroom in vomit for me to clean up, it makes me sad :(
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:50, Reply)
Kaol did that to ancrenne once too
She cleaned his trousers for him and everything.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:51, Reply)
I wouldn't do that
I have excellent manners, and I'm mostly house-trained.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:01, Reply)
No
she won't.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:51, Reply)
*cries*
But... But...

:(
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:52, Reply)
Oh go on then...
He didn't puke or try to mount anything (unless anything happened between him and the other b3tan when I was out of the room).
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:53, Reply)
*grins*
No, I was lovely to him.
The fact I had a crippling hangover might have been involved.

Or the fact that I'm a lovely, polite gentleman :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:56, Reply)
Erm
yes.



*winks*
*agrees*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:06, Reply)
I did say most of the reasons
we thought of why he couldn't make it involved him being drunk in a gutter :p

And next one is whenever you want! Except this weekend I'm not here :)
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:41, Reply)
Next bash
Well, after my extortionate taxi ride back, I can't do anything more than stare through restaurant windows like a Dickensian pauper child until payday.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:50, Reply)
Dickensian pauper children
did not have mohawks :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:51, Reply)
No, but some of them did ask for
mo'
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:54, Reply)
This is true
Then instead I shall be akin to a starving Mad Max extra, which given the price of petrol is quite an accurate portrayal of a possible immediate future.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:53, Reply)
And as if by magic Herr Doktor appears.
Hugs everybody.

'Noon everybody. I'm not liking this new fangled personal repiy thingy, it makes my old brain all hurty!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:53, Reply)
Hello my dear Doktor!
How goes it?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:54, Reply)
Hey Kaol
It's all good, how about you?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:55, Reply)
Good thanks!
I had an excellent weekend, and it's lunchtime now :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:58, Reply)
eeeeeek
Half the day has gone already and I haven't had a phone call offering me a job.
Bumholes.
I'm waiting to see if a certain company ring me back as the job sounds ace but they haven't yet.
I'm so impatient. I hate waiting.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:53, Reply)
Be patient,
occupy yourself with shiny pink things and Heat magazine.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:55, Reply)
I am trying
I am eating dry Rice Krispies in a pathetic excuse for lunch :(
and bombay mix.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:57, Reply)
That is a poor excuse for a lunch
I've just finished a fry up, followed by pain au chocolat and Tesco's cola.

As they say on the main board, it was braw!
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:58, Reply)
I know
But I can't be bothered to get anything else to eat. It's my own fault!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:01, Reply)
You ought to be ashamed of yourself
There are starving children in the world, it's your responsibility to eat their share as well, or the supermarkets will just throw it all in the bin.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:03, Reply)
I know
But that would involve moving off of the bed.
And I like the bed.
It's comfy.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:08, Reply)
Bed is the best place to be
Farts just seem to be warmer when you're in bed.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:14, Reply)
Ooooooh good luck :D
Are they supposed to be calling today then? Is this the job in Laaandan?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:56, Reply)
Yes
They are based in the area of London that Mr VP wants to move to so it would be ace.
They received my CV today and if they like it they will call.
*mentally wills them to CALL DAMN IT*
I have an interview tomorrow so all is not lost but this role is a better job, more money and less travel.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:58, Reply)
*keeps fingers crossed*
:)
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:00, Reply)
Good luck to you!
They'd be fools not to offer you the job, based purely on what little I know about you from B3ta.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:04, Reply)
Thank you!
It's kind of last chance saloon with this. If I don't get either of these then it's back to my parents until after christmas.
A lot is hanging on it.
*gulp*
No pressure.
*suppresses a scream*
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:06, Reply)
Eeeep
Just consider yourself lucky, imagine job hunting and moving home if you had kids. It's horrible.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:12, Reply)
Yeah
That must suck. You have my sympathy there.

Job hunting in general is awful. It's soul destroying.

Blah.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:14, Reply)
It really is.
I thought it was so easy, walk out of one job, into another, but it's not at all. Recruitment agents are all bastards.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:16, Reply)
I know!
It's impossible. One agent told me it's something like an average of 100 people applying per job in London at the moment. I don't think thats true but it feels it.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:18, Reply)
I just don't think that there
are enough jobs around right now, but that doesn't stop them advertising positions that have already been filled, just to get you in and registered, the bloody gits.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:20, Reply)
Hello Dok
Less worthy chat and more shit on here now, I'm afraid.
How are you?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:54, Reply)
I take personal offence to that

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:56, Reply)
So you should.
You're the biggest proponent of shite on here.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:59, Reply)
and proud of it!
I am very sorry to anybody who doesn't like it. I just don't see off topic and QOTW as a place to chat, if I wanted to talk I'd talk to somebody, I'm here because I want to behave like a dick.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:00, Reply)
But the rest of us
are here because we want to talk to people and not put up with all the dicks from talk :p

Have you considered moving to talk? *opens brochure* I could offer you a nice goat view room ?
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:06, Reply)
/talk confuses me too much
and the people are mean, I'm not mean.

Do you not want me here?

*sniff*
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:08, Reply)
hehe
aww *hugs* you can stay then :p
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:19, Reply)
Thank you
I very nearly felt like pulling rank just then.

I'm sure you'll warm to me eventually, I'm not a bad bloke, I have a warm, sensitive side, or you'll just put up with me until you click 'ignore'.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:22, Reply)
Hmm
any post you make with regards to pulling anything make me wary.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:27, Reply)
Now who's being dirty?

*tugs plums*
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:28, Reply)
Pah
I'm OK.

Get upto anything outrageous at the weekend?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 12:57, Reply)
Nothing outrageous
despite having my tiny flat invaded by Kaol and Wookiee on Saturday night. I successfully assembled an edible curry - phew!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:05, Reply)
Invaded
By Kaol and Wookie.

It's a wonder the place is even still standing! Especialy after curry.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:08, Reply)
I so thought you were going to
make that into something sexual just then.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:09, Reply)
Thought about it.
But Ms clen would have my guts for garters, and then Kaol, and Wookie would have a go.

Not really

And anyway she like being invaded!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:12, Reply)
It's not an invasion when Wookie's involved
It's enforced liberation.

Viva el libercion!
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:14, Reply)
Well
the Wookie is very liberated!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:30, Reply)
I like his smashing hats.

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:32, Reply)
what's going on?!
it looks like /talk!

*hides under bedclothes*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:06, Reply)
I know
I don't like /talk. It ascares me.
(GirlOfTheWorld, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:09, Reply)
Hiya Tulip!
Come out of there, how are you doing today?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:09, Reply)
No need to hide
HLT. We're still the same people, mostly, and you know we're nice.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:09, Reply)
May I have some of your nice tablet
please?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:11, Reply)
Why yes you can.
And I'll have to whip up another batch soon, coz it's almost gone.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:13, Reply)
Ta very much
Lovely lovely tablet-y goodness.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:15, Reply)
Tablet-y goodness
that's just the sugar rush talking.

on the bad side it will rot your teeth quicker than concentrated nitric acid!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:32, Reply)
What teeth?
True scotsmen lose their teeth to Irn Bru aged 9.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:34, Reply)
It is a bit odd
but you do get used to it.

That said, I preferred the old linear version. Non-linearity should be reserved for specialist optics, and diode currents and other such physics-y things.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:12, Reply)
er, what now?
I'm feeling all stupid today, and don't understand.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:17, Reply)
Translation:
Old system - good
New system - bad
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:18, Reply)
oh
thanks Bert
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:30, Reply)
Translation:
Come on my face big boy.

:D
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:31, Reply)
you presume too much sir!
^
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:33, Reply)
Translation:
Ok, I don't really like it in the face, because of that time I got some in my hair, and my eyes were stinging, so can we just hold hands and cuddle for now?

Sure, of course we can Tulip.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:37, Reply)
Oi, Bert
It's Monday! You may not know, but HLT and I have a personal 'arrangement' on Mondays.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:39, Reply)
I sincerely beg your pardon, good sir.


Can I have twosies?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:41, Reply)
Yes, I'm k2k6's Monday girl, whatever that entails
But sure, honey, Tuesdays can be our day...
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:44, Reply)
I think you have misunderstood me
I meant that when you're close to finishing with K, I'll jump in and finish you off.

While you're with K2k6, and he's done stroking your hair, staring longingly into your eyes and holding your hand, I'll come along, take you for a picnic, we'll share gin and tonics, eat some cake, and then fall asleep in each other's arms under the stars.
Then, in the morning; bumsex. My bum, that is.

But Tuesdays are good too.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:45, Reply)
Oh, erm
that's slightly less nice than I had at first thought
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:46, Reply)
Sorry,
I'll edit to add romance.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:50, Reply)
Aw, that's better
All right then.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:33, Reply)
I think
that's a question you'd need to ask Miss Tulip.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:44, Reply)
I'm unhappy.
I really don't think they will change it back. It's the end of an era : (




*Goes off to hide in cave*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:14, Reply)
dearest miss blouse
can I come into the cave too?

it's gone all pointy out here.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:45, Reply)
yes, that's all very well, being the same fluffeh people and all
but you all just got surgery, and look different.

Please bear with me while I adjust.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:15, Reply)
It's a bit like
breast enhancement surgery.

Some people think it's great, but I prefer natural ones, myself. Like the old OT board, it's just a better feel...

Each to their own.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:23, Reply)
yes
and it wasn't broken, so why did they muck about with it?

*is cross*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:29, Reply)
People were complaining
I think all we really needed was a reply button at the bottom of the screen though.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:30, Reply)
As someone pointed out
the mods are actually trying to be nice to us, by giving us these enhancements, so we shouldn't be nasty. But we can politely register our displeasure at the new format and have a poll or something to decide whether we want it returned to the old format.

In the meantime of course, you can still click the top reply button and use the board in the old linear way.

Bert is right about the bottom reply button though. That's really all most of us wanted.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:34, Reply)
That was me too!
But I think becky was first to say that we just needed the button at the bottom.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:35, Reply)
the only people who wanted it like this
were the morons from /talk who came over here to complain about it and insult us. or to act in a bizarre and incomprehensible way a la JMG.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:40, Reply)
A carton of
sugary, tooth-rotting Ribena. Mmmmm.
(GirlOfTheWorld, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:34, Reply)
I can't see what this is in response to!
Help!
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:36, Reply)
Presumably
the original question?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:37, Reply)
Now there's a possibility I hadn't considered.
I hope GirlOftheWorld is enjoying her Ribena.

Hi clendrix!
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:38, Reply)
what a surprise
the stupid nested replies have made things more confusing. I reckon it's made it slower as well.

www.b3ta.com/questions/toptips/post244162
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:39, Reply)
Correct!
I was trying to be a good b3tan and remain on topic!
(GirlOfTheWorld, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:43, Reply)
You are defeating the purpose of Off Topic
Are you the anti-christ?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:46, Reply)
Damn it...
my true identity has been revealed. Hail Satan, lesser being.
(GirlOfTheWorld, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:55, Reply)
Yay!
Smite us all with your unholiness unholy one!
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:58, Reply)
Girl
this rarely happens, even in the good old days (of last week) so good for you.
Blimey, I've been here so long, I remember when it were all fields...
*wants ribena*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:46, Reply)
Blimey
You've been here more than four years, I thought you were fairly new.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:48, Reply)
Been here and posting a good many years, Bert.
A good many years...
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:50, Reply)
Have you always been on QOTW?
I think the first time I ever saw you was on Off Topic. Sorry about that.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:53, Reply)
First posted on QOTW
on 10th December 2003. Been around regularly since then.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:54, Reply)
In that case, I'm sorry I missed you all this time!
I'll read through your profile soon, I've probably read your posts in the past but just not registered that it was you.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:56, Reply)
No worries Bert.
Old people are always forgotten...
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:58, Reply)
Ahhh.....
you're not old. Just chronologically experienced.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:00, Reply)
Nice!
Cheers.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:04, Reply)
:D
Anyway, women in their forties are the new nubile young 18 year olds, don't you watch porn?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:08, Reply)
I don't
but then, I'm not in my forties yet...
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:11, Reply)
I was liking the new thing earlier
But now that the branches have branches and some of those branches have branches my mind is getting all mind pissed.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:38, Reply)
WIN!
I have just remembered I have some American Hard Gums left in my handbag from yesterday!
I win!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:47, Reply)
I want your sweeties!

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:49, Reply)
ha
I've nearly eaten them all. already.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:50, Reply)
It's funny because
when I was little I used to tell my little brother that I was dying, to get him to share his smarties and fruit pastilles once I'd finished my own.

Now I'm Hypo-glycemic.
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:55, Reply)
The forefinger
on my right hand has suddenly gone very hot. All other fingers are cold.
What's going on?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:49, Reply)
*hides voodoo doll behind his back*
nothing to see here!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:56, Reply)
It's not like
I even put it anywhere warm...
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:56, Reply)
Is your forefinger...
...dipped in a cup of tea?
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:56, Reply)
haha
brilliant
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:06, Reply)
Curious
Do you have a hangnail? that can make a finger glow. (so to speak, not actually ET stylee)
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:04, Reply)
@clendrix
Where have you been putting it?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:56, Reply)
No where!
I promise!

*scareds*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 13:59, Reply)
You been typing
a lot recently? Resting your arm in one place for a largish period of time?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:00, Reply)
No, not really...
I was eating my lunch and reading the paper.
Perhaps I should go home sick.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:01, Reply)
That's odd.
Have you tried putting it in a glass of cold water to re-compensate?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:01, Reply)
Re-compensate?
Hmmm.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:02, Reply)
I licked it
and stuck it out the window.
Feels better.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:04, Reply)
Ha.
I'm trying to think of a way of linking that sentence to willies but I can't.
Still made me laugh though.
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:11, Reply)
Yeah.
It's a biological term.
I'm not surprised that you've not heard it, I don't think you're a homeostatic biophysiologist.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:04, Reply)
I was just thinking that surely it would just
be compensate?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:29, Reply)
*nods*
It would be, in a non-homeostatic sense.
But it's a bit different.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:32, Reply)
I see, so
as you're giving another effect to an effect already there, you're re-compensating. Am I on the right track, or way off?
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:47, Reply)
Afternoon all
I have no idea where this is going to end up.

*hates new format*

*hates to moan about something that's free*

*does it anyway*

My Monday is wet but bright. It's pissing rain but I am off work - good for a woo (but not the hoo which would normally accompany it)
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:12, Reply)
It was not a nice weekend.
Okay, I'll come right out with it: the Lunatic Artist is currently moving out, at my request. I was unable to cope with her bipolar disorder and general moodiness, so she's currently looking for another place to live. Meanwhile there has been a solid week of weeping and packing boxes.

Sorry if I'm a little quiet and not-as-funny, but right now I'm having a very bad time. I'll do my best to be in a better mindset when I arrive over there this weekend, though...
(I helped save b3ta! The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:20, Reply)
Well, at least you'll have BGB
to talk to.

Sorry to hear that the Artist and you didn't make it.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:25, Reply)
I'm sorry TRL
that sounds like it's been a tough decision.

*hugs*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:26, Reply)
I'll drop all responses here for the moment.
Yes, it was a horribly difficult decision to make. Having someone you love going through bipolar disorder is hard enough- realizing that you can't cope with it is a major heap of guilt that makes you feel like an absolute twat. And asking a mentally ill person to move out of your house and find their own place is just the fucking icing on the shit cake. I feel bloody awful, as they say over there.

At the same time, she's in her forties, an adult who's been around as much as I have. As has been pointed out to me by a lot of friends, she's not my responsibility, and I cannot control whether or not she's happy. I've been extremely patient and supportive for a very long time, so it's not like I didn't give her a fair shot.

Still feels fucking awful, though.

Thank you all for the support- you're a wonderful bunch, and I'm grateful.

I'll be back to my normal vaguely idiotic self soon, I'm sure...
(I helped save b3ta! The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:02, Reply)
@TRL
Hi - I'm sorry to hear it. If you need to talk, drop me a gaz.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:32, Reply)
@ The Loon
Sorry to hear that.
You do get to meet me at the weekend though.

Yay!

No?
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:01, Reply)
Yes indeed.
I'll be VERY happy to meet new faces there!
(I helped save b3ta! The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:24, Reply)
@ Loon
I am sure you will have more fun ooop North.

My nose won't stop running, my head hurts and I feel generally like shit. Everyone stop what they are doing and find a cure for the common cold.
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:26, Reply)
stop press
I've got a cure
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:27, Reply)
*hugs*
eat lots of garlic - that way no-one gets close enough to pass on the cold ....

Vipros - really?
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:27, Reply)
yep
you probably won't like it

*considers that this is going to be underwhelming and an anti-climax, but decides to proceed anyway*
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:32, Reply)
*waits with bated breath*
Is it really nasty? I don't do nasty (well, mostly!)
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:39, Reply)
Well?
What is it? I'm curious now!
(Lucy Van Pelt embracing ginlovers, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:54, Reply)
damn, too many people are interested
I was going to say death, but now that seems really lame...

sorry

however, on a serious note, I am a great believe in the healing powers of chillis, particularly good fresh green ones. Thai style stuff is best for clearing you out
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:56, Reply)
I'll stick with garlic, thanks
it was the "clearing you out bit" that put me off ...
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:16, Reply)
I do like garlic
And I have "cold tastebuds" so can't actually taste much at the moment!
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:33, Reply)
Tom Yum Soup
as hot as you can take it and vitamin C until your fingernails turn orange. Nothing works better.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:34, Reply)
*looks sad*
Can you bring me some :(
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:39, Reply)
my wee girl is ill with the cold
(and a large dose of self -pity), so can you nip over here with some?

Ta, there's a love ...
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:40, Reply)
Agreed!
My Dad makes a mean Tom Yum Goong (goong = prawns), hot enough to blast your sinuses into the stratosphere!

Does the job nicely.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:47, Reply)
Co-codomal FTW!
*hugs for ancrenne with sniffly snogs*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:57, Reply)
*encases self in lead*
*hugs ancrenne*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 14:58, Reply)
Sigh
threads all over the place and Bert thinks I'm in my forties.

Is it pub time yet?
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:12, Reply)
Clendrix
there's a pub round the corner here which opens at 6am, nip up here and I'll buy ...

On a side note - why does waxing your own eyebrows hurt more than when someone else does it? Ouchie!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:14, Reply)
Yay!
*nips*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:15, Reply)
slides pint along bar
Wild West style

Here y'are, clendrix. Don't stand still too long, the carpet's a bit sticky .... actually, I've never been in this pub before, and now I can see why.

*grabs Clendrix and exits rapidly, stage left*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:20, Reply)
*squeals*
*likes being grabbed by Wee Witch*
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:25, Reply)
aaah, but
you haven't seen the length of my fingernails. My thumb nails in particular are looking rather lethal. Hope I didn't mark you ...
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:31, Reply)
Boo for colds
Back from work and feel better.
Had a nice long walk.

Thanks everyone for being lovely!
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:15, Reply)
BK
*hugs*
Glad you're feeling a bit better.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:19, Reply)
*hugs BK*
good to hear, matey!

*winks*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:25, Reply)
Yay, hugs!
I'll be ok. My good friend Danielle was also close to him so she is coming round armed with wine and Star Wars to cheer ourselves up:)
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:46, Reply)
Star Wars!
I watched Empire Strikes Back last night. I was in heaven.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:14, Reply)
I've never seen that film
I've seen the original Star Wars, and the Return of the Jedi, but not the one in between.

I was never a fan though.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:35, Reply)
I love Star Wars an awful lot
I watched Bring Back Star Wars last night, with Justin Lee Collins, and found it to be thoroughly entertaining and interesting.

If I were to go on Mastermind, Star Wars would be my specialist subject (not just the films either)

am I very sad?
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:43, Reply)
WHAT?
The middle one is the best!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:57, Reply)
I'm back...
3 hours. 362 miles. 211 litres of petrol. 1 set of rear tyres.

It's a shit job, but someone's got to do it.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:21, Reply)
*sulks*
I got to sit at my desk sneezing and feeling shit. Bet you're the jealous one now


*cries*
(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:25, Reply)
aaaw, pet
*hugs TGB*

there, there

*rubs back, passes hanky and co-codamol*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:32, Reply)
Thanks TWW :)

(I helped save b3ta! TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:36, Reply)
Hmmm...
I'm kind of jealous in a way.

I'd get a strange sort of twisted pleasure from running around my office infecting everybody :-)

Much like when I was fooling around this morning in the workshop sucking up all of the fitters' coffees with a wet&dry vacuum cleaner. Strangely, they didn't find it anywhere near as amusing as I did.
(I helped save b3ta! rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:32, Reply)
Hahahaha!
That's amazing, ten points!

I fired an industrial stapler into someone's plastic cup of machine-coffee once, which was fine until they picked it up, the cup ripped, and coffee went everywhere.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:34, Reply)
Stop it!
The chortling hurts because I have a sore throat!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain V, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:38, Reply)
Kaol, try
glueing the bottom of the cup to the desk. Not that I would ever dream of doing such a thing ....
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:39, Reply)
Ooo
I did something similar, but with those double-sided sticky pads. Thing is, they stick something down for about two pulls *smirks*, but on the third yank *chortles* they cause the cup of juice to to arc through the air in a most graceful manner.
(I helped save b3ta! Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:44, Reply)
Where's that
bloody shotgun when you need it?

You need one of these mate...

disintegrator.co.uk/
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:29, Reply)
Excellent,
both of you.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:43, Reply)
brilliant stuff
*wishes he had a big stapler*
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:45, Reply)
I remember the pinners...
They were amazing.
I could shoot the drink from someone's desk from about 20 metres.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:49, Reply)
Awesome
I was in training one day with some of the higher ups from another store and we were gathered round a PC. A fly was buzzing round the screen so I picked up what I thought was an empty cup to trap it and lobbed half a cup of coffee over the screen.

I just sat there and went, 'Oh, will you look at that', much to everyone's bemusement.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:49, Reply)
Our best training day
was when the external training company sent in their boss as no-one else was available. He spent ages telling us how to colour code things before we pointed out that we had mono-chrome screens. D'oh!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 15 Sep 2008, 15:52, Reply)
this puts me in mind of an incident that still makes me laugh like a mong
when I picture it now

was walking into the kitchen in my old office to fill up my empty water glass. I rounded the corner to see my mate Mark walking out and raising a glass to drink from it.

I pretended to thow a glass of water in his face to surprise him, only to find that there was about an inch or two or water in the bottom which hit him in the face.

I can still see the look of bewilderment on his face because he thought he'd managed to spill his glass of water all over himself, even though it was still a good 6 inches from his mouth.

I couldn't stop laughing for the rest of the day
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:07, Reply)
Vipros
Stuff like this can restore a whole heap of bad mood to good for me!
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:12, Reply)
That's excellent!
Fantastic!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:15, Reply)
That's awesome
*giggles*
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:27, Reply)
BK
Sorry about your friend

*internet hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:24, Reply)
Thanks
*hug*

It puts certain other shit at the minute into perspective.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:43, Reply)
This thread
Is getting quiet.

Although people seem to be dealing with the new format far better :D
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:41, Reply)
It's still a pain in the arse
to have to check up and down the whole thread though, to see where the replies are. At least with the linear format you didn't have to jump about
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:43, Reply)
like
this
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:43, Reply)
And then back
to here.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:43, Reply)
I'm off home
see you all later, maybe.
(I helped save b3ta! K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:48, Reply)
it's like the b3ta version
of the Blair Witch Project.

*noms travel sickness pills*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:49, Reply)
FUCK YES!
I just found out that the Scars On Broadway gig I'm going to on Thursday has got The Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster supporting!
Amazing!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 16:48, Reply)
Not dealing with new format better.
Just having to deal with it, that's all. Still sulking.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:05, Reply)
Awh :(
Well I'm sorry to hear that.
I'd offer to cheer you up with my amazing singing skills.
But I can't see that working.
*laughs*
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:07, Reply)
Even your amazing singing skills won't work.
I'm off to the pub to try a more traditional remedy.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:15, Reply)
have you seen them before?
I had high hopes, and when I saw them they were rubbish
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:06, Reply)
Who?
Scars or Matchbox?
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:07, Reply)
Matchbox
I was really looking forward to them as well, because they have a great sound

live they were just a noise
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:11, Reply)
I've seen 'em
Four times, and once they were a noisy mess, that was at a festival.

The other times they were awesome!
So I'm really excited!

Also I'm off home now, band practice tonight, bye!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:20, Reply)
it was at a festival that I saw them too
so that might be it

they need a really good sound setup or something!

have fun!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:21, Reply)
I didn't know they were still going
Haven't got round to checking out Scars on Broadwya yet
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:06, Reply)
they're pretty good
I'm still loving Clutch. got my singer into them too.

I ordered the new Metallica album today. I decided that as they were my favourite band for years until the day I heard St. Anger that I'd give them the benefit of the doubt.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:23, Reply)
I've listened to it today
And it's actually pretty good!
I liked it a lot!
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:56, Reply)
I have heard
or maybe read, that the new Metallica album is the best metal album this century.

Can't remember where I read that but it bodes well.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:57, Reply)
I certainly don't agree with that!
But it's not bad, that's for sure.
(I helped save b3ta! Cawl, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:59, Reply)
Clutch FTW
I've got Corrosion of Conformity's In The Arms of God on at the minute. Good album.
(I helped save b3ta! Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 15 Sep 2008, 17:35, Reply)

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